Here is a q&a I did with the Writer’s League about the workshop. There are just a few spots left, and you can register by calling or emailing Jenny at the WLT.

(Apologies that the comments feature on this blog hasn’t been working—I’m trying to fix it. In the meantime please feel free to email me through the contact page of my website.)

I’m filled with gratitude for the care and love we received from Wanda, Theresa, Belinda, and Patty, and all the wonderful nurses and doctors we met during that time. I’ll never forget them.

Thank you also to my friend Dika Lam, who came up with the title “Intensive Care.”

One of my favorite discoveries of 2012 was a new kind of chocolate:

My husband brought these back from a business trip to London. The packaging was so pretty I almost didn’t want to open them (but somehow managed to).

They’re from Rococo Chocolates, and they’re amazing. My daughter, who is six now and (maybe, possibly) loves chocolate even more than I do, sensed the enormity of this gift – chocolates from thousands of miles away – and together we ate a piece every night.

A writer friend also recently sent a box of these salted caramels from Montana, which I’m addicted to now:

The other day, my daughter ate a chocolate, a caramel, and took a bath with chocolate-scented soap and said, “This is the best day ever in the whole world!”

It doesn’t get much better than a day with a caramel and two kinds of chocolate. Happy New Year!

Right now, he’s predicting an 85.7% probability that Obama will win. Nate, I hope you’re right about this.

The Great Nate

p.s. Some friends have expressed curiosity/concern about Nate and I. To clarify: In reality, we are neither physically nor carnally acquainted, sadly. Such is life.

p.p.s. Nate, if you are wrong and the election goes the other way, I’m breaking up with you.

One of my favorite books that I’ve read in the last few years is Julia Child’s memoir My Life in France, co-written with her grand-nephew, Alex Prud’homme. It’s a beautiful book—it’s not just the story of Julia’s life; it tells the tale of an artistic apprenticeship. The book describes, with a sense of joy so palpable that the pages nearly shake with it, how Julia discovered her true calling late in life (she didn’t start cooking seriously until her late thirties), and how she spent a decade completing her book, despite setback after setback.

I equally loved As Always, Julia, a collection of the correspondence between Julia and her friend Avis DeVoto. DeVoto acted as a sort of literary agent for Julia, counseling her through her multiple rejections and encouraging her to never lose faith. If not for some good luck and a few random twists of fate, Mastering the Art of French Cooking never would’ve seen the light of day. Even Alfred Knopf himself was reluctant to publish it.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from My Life in France, about something Julia learned from one of her earliest teachers:

“Although [Chef Bugnard] must have made this dish several thousand times, he always took great pride and pleasure in his performance. He insisted that one pay attention, learn the correct technique, and that one enjoy one’s cooking—‘Yes, Madame Child, fun!’ he’d say. ‘Joy!’ It was a remarkable lesson. No dish, not even the humble scrambled egg, was too much trouble for him. ‘You never forget a beautiful thing that you have made,’ he said. ‘Even after you eat it, it stays with you—always.’”

Happy birthday, Julia.

“I do not remember her voice, but I do remember that every time I saw her, she called me to her desk and showed me with an almost conspiratorial glee a book she had picked out for me, a book I always read and often loved.

Every now and then you get lucky in your education and you make a teacher-friend; Mrs. Crowell was my first. By second grade she was allowing me to take out more books than the prescribed limit. By third grade I was granted admission to her librarian’s office. My love of books was born of hers. As a newcomer with almost no knowledge of the country in which I’d found myself, I was desperate to understand where the hell I was, who I was. I sought those answers in books. It was in Mrs. Crowell’s library that I found my first harbor, my first truly safe place in the United States. I still feel a happy pulse every time I see a library. I’m with Borges in imagining Paradise as ‘a kind of library.’ Where instead of angels there will be a corps of excellent librarians.”

The Kansas City Public Library, which I’d love to see someday

Now that we’re back I’m looking forward to teaching a YA fiction workshop at the Austin Bat Cave, our local nonprofit writing and tutoring center (similar to 826.) My workshop is aimed at adult writers, but a portion of the proceeds will go to supporting the Bat Cave’s free programming for kids. It starts September 13, and here’s a link to more information about the class. We have a great group of writers signed up—I’m really excited for it to start.

Chuao Dark Chocolate Caracas Bar. I picked this up randomly one day at Central Market, and I’m hooked. What makes it so good? Its melty smooth creaminess? The monstrous pistachios? Who knows? I’d like to crawl inside this bar and live there. I want to try the Panko and Honey ones this company makes too, but they don’t sell them here. I spoke to the chocolate guys at both Whole Foods and Central Market and requested/begged/pleaded/offered my body, but still no luck. What does a girl have to do to get some good chocolate around here? (FYI, they also make a Firecracker bar which has Pop Rocks in it, but you know, if you eat it with soda you could DIE.)

Fran’s Smoked Salt Dark Chocolate Caramels. When did sugar + salt become a big thing? I don’t remember that being popular when I was a kid. (We were too busy trying not to die from eating Pop Rocks.) But there’s something especially amazing about the smoky dark salt in these caramels too…oh my god oh my god oh my god. Things have changed since the Kraft blobs of my youth. They’re really expensive though, so I’ve only eaten them on my birthday/mother’s day/during times of utter despair, like when you throw out 90 pages of your book.

Essential Equation to Remember:
Good chocolate + salted caramel + time = novel.

One of the great things about the 826 centers is that they each have a store—the Pirate Store, the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store, the Bigfoot Research Institute, and the Robot Supply & Repair Store. I hope that the next 826 that opens will have a Fairy and Ogre store. . . my daughter would love this. (As would I. What’s not to love about wee forest folk brandishing light bulbs?)

Also: I got to go to Zingerman’s twice. I had a nice long talk with the fish guy, who gingerly sliced a gigantic hunk of sable and packed me a little to-go meal. I would like to marry him.

Happiness:

2. Sobering info
I thought it would just be a quirky, funny piece, but in this economy, with so many stores struggling (at Powell’s in Portland, Oregon, $1.2 million is lost to theft each year), it turned out to be not quite so funny after all. Once I got on the subject of digital piracy and the transition from print to digital books, the information was even more sobering. The stat from the Codex Group, that only 28% of books read are purchased new, is particularly troubling (especially since the statistic is dropping.) More stats from the Codex Group are below. (see #11)

3. John Palfrey, Sherman Alexie, and digital books
On the subject of piracy and digital books, I wish I could believe John Palfrey’s optimism. When we first spoke I did, but after doing more research I do think the transition to digital media is going to be incredibly, incredibly tough on writers and the already struggling publishing industry, unless we come up with some innovative ideas and solutions. Taken out of context, Sherman Alexie’s quote about open source culture might sound alarmist; looking at the statistics (see #11 again) and thinking seriously about how writers may survive financially (or, more likely, not survive) in a digital world where people expect content to be free…well, he’s brave to be voicing his opinion, and I wish more powerful writers would join him. For more on his position, read this interview and a statement on his website.

4. Indie love
My favorite part of writing this piece was talking to dozens of indie bookstore owners and employees on the phone. I had a newborn baby when my book came out, so I never got to do an indie-book-tour, visiting lots of stores around the country…but I still dream of doing that someday, and meeting all these great people I spoke with. These stores aren’t just stores, but centers of literary culture. BookPeople is my favorite place in Austin. I would live inside that store if I could.

5. Outtakes
I enjoy writing pieces like this because talking on the phone is a nice contrast to writing fiction, which can get lonely…but, inevitably, it’s a bit heartbreaking how many of the interviews end up on the cutting room floor, since it’s just a 1200 word piece. Here are a few facts, quotes, and other interesting outtakes:

6. More on stolen Bibles

Jeff Sharlet, author of The Family: Secret Fundamentalism and The Heart of American Power, said, “The idea of selling Bibles in a for-profit bookstore from a for-profit publisher will strike some people as very unclean. Some would say, ‘You’re not stealing this book—you’re liberating it.’” Sharlet also recalled a lot of books being poached when he worked at the National Yiddish Book Center in Amherst, Massachussetts, years ago. The most popular books to steal there? “Yiddish translations of Jack London and Mark Twain.”

One bookstore employee I spoke with, who asked to remain anonymous, told me that since their store was set inside a large café, they experienced little shoplifting; however, customers often chose to use Bibles as placemats. “I see ketchupy Bibles and maple-syrupy Bibles all the time,” she sighed. “I can’t even sell them after that.”

7. More on writers stealing their own books

“Sometimes when I do a book signing I take copies of my own books and don’t pay for them.” –Bestselling Writer (who asked to be anonymous, for obvious reasons)

8. Other hot-to-steal authors at indie stores
Chuck Palahniuk
John Fante
Hubert Selby
Jonathan Safran Foer
Cormac McCarthy
Tom Robbins
Hunter Thompson
Tucker Max
Neil Gaiman
Dave Eggers
Italo Calvino
Vladamir Nabokov

9. More quotes from indie bookstores

“A lot of bookstore owners get into this business for altruistic reasons—a love of literature, or they want to write—and it’s a very big jump from that world to arresting people,” –David Bolduc, owner of Boulder Books in Boulder, Colorado

At the Strand Bookstore in New York City, scholarly Judaica titles are frequently stolen. “Some people think knowledge is just wasted on shelf, and they think ‘Let’s get it out,’” –Fred Bass, the Strand’s president and co-owner

“I’ll never forgive Abbie Hoffman for titling his book Steal This Book,” said Nick Setka, the manager of Book Passage in California.

On holiday season theft: “Take all the shoplifting numbers and triple them and you have the holidays.” –-Steve Bercu of BookPeople

10. What’s stolen at women’s bookstores, children’s bookstores, & libraries

“We don’t stock stock Bibles, but wiccan and women’s spirituality books are incredibly popular to steal.”—Women’s bookstore owner

“I don’t think children’s books are as desirable to professional shoplifters as adult titles are…though a lot of mothers will ‘accidentally’ walk out with a kid’s book in the basket of their strollers.”—Children’s bookstore employee

“At our library, 133 titles–that’s Dewey-speak for the occult, and books about witches and wicca–are very popular to steal.” –Andrew Shaw at Salt Lake City Public Library

11. More sobering stats from the Codex Group

Books purchased new account for 31% of the books read by those 65+, but only 22% of those read by 18-24 year olds, who get 11.5% of the books they read from free downloaded or shared e-books vs. 4.8% for those 65+.

Three years ago, over 35% of books read were purchased new, which is now down to 28%. “Clearly the easy availability of free e-books from multiple sources is directly reducing the level of books being purchased new overall,” Peter Hildick-Smith told me.

12. More curious gender differences

Also according to the Codex Group: Men are 93% more likely to have read a free digitally down-loaded book, and 67% more likely to have read a shared e-book.

13. Charming author info

Jeffrey Eugenides is incredibly funny, down-to-earth, self-deprecating, and charming. I also tried to be immune to the charms of Paul Auster, but what is it about that man that’s so dashing? His deep voice, his old-world gentlemanly style? He’s like an old movie star, a rare breed.

14. P.S.: Please don’t punch me
Since this piece isn’t personal, I’m assuming this essay won’t inspire any controversy like the last piece I did for the NYTBR (not that I had any idea that would be controversial when I wrote it—but that piece caused one guy to threaten to “punch the author.”) I’m hoping no one’s going to threaten to punch me this time, especially since I’m due to have a baby in ten days, so that would be a particularly weird and creepy thing to say…but hey, this theory kind of explains things.