“Finding Your Mojo—Your Why-Power

When you’re having trouble doing the hard work of achieving your goals, it’s common to believe you simply lack willpower. I disagree. It’s not enough to choose to be successful. What’s going to keep you consistent with the new positive choices you need to make? What’s going to stop you from falling back into your mindless bad habits? What’s going to be different this time versus the times you’ve tried and failed before? As soon as you get the slightest bit uncomfortable, you’re going to be tempted to slide back into your old, comfortable routine.

You’ve tried willpower before and it’s failed you. You’ve set resolutions an you’ve let them go. You thought you were going to lose all that weight last time. Let’s “stop the insanity” and do something different so you can get different and better results.

Forget about willpower. It’s time for why-power. Your choices are only meaningful when you connect them to your desires and dreams. The wisest and most motivating choices are the ones aligned with that which you identify as your purpose, your core self, and your highest values. You’ve got to want something, and know why you want it, or you’ll end up giving up to easily.

So, what is your why? You’ve got to have a reason if you want to make significant improvements to your life And to make you want to make the necessary changes, your why must be something that is fantastically motivating—to you. You’ve got to want to get up and go, go, go, go, go—for years! So, what is it that moves you the most? Identifying your why is critical. What motivates you is the ignition to your passion, the source for your enthusiasm, and the fuel for your persistence.

The power of your why is what gets you to stick through the grueling, mundane, and laborious. All of the how’s will be meaningless until your whys are powerful enough. Until you’ve set your desire and motivation in place, you’ll abandon any new path you seek to better your life. If you’re why-power—your desire—isn’t great enough, if the fortitude of your commitment isn’t powerful enough, you’ll end up like every other person who makes a New Year’s resolution and gives up too quickly and reverts to sleepwalking through poor choices.”

If you need help finding your why or executing your how, this is where I come in.  I’m ready to help when you’re ready to commit.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself this question? Be honest with yourself, why do you wake up at 5:30am and go hop on the elliptical for 60 minutes every morning. Or maybe you go to SoulCycle, SolidCore or some crazy boot camp. Why do you leave work at 5pm go to the gym to meet your trainer for 30 minutes and before happy hour? Why?

There are a lot of different answers to this question and I’m sure they change on a day to day basis. As a trainer, more often then not these are the answers I get.

Because:
• I want to look good.
• I want to be lean and toned.
• I want to be able to eat what I want.
• I want to look good in a bikini.
• I want to weigh “x” pounds.
• I have “x” event coming up.
• I want to be able to go drink alcohol and not get fat.
• I want to be “x” percent body fat.
• I want to look good naked.

Now I understand all of these answers, believe me. I’m not perfect. My wife knows full well that I have my fair share of days I think I look awful. My stomach is bloated, my calves are too big or my skin is breaking out like a teenagers. But over all I’ll be the first one to tell you that I’ve been blessed with pretty dang good genetics and parents who somehow taught me how to have incredible self esteem. Many of you might not know this but my loving mother was actually over weight for the last third of her life. At 5’ 7” after having 8 kids and bad kidneys she must have fluctuated between 170-250lbs. But you know what, she never did talk about her weight. She would cook healthy meals, exercise and take overall good care of herself despite the weight that her body held onto. I never once heard her speak negatively about her body and I consider myself blessed to be raised by such a strong woman. Even though she struggled with her own health she never let it get in the way of her life or how her children viewed her or their own bodies.

So why is it that a client who has potentially 10 pounds to lose can be so hard on themself?

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve worked with clients and they’ll talk to me about how if they could just be leaner, they

Would finally find love.
Would be more successful.
Would be worthy of love and affection from their parents or friends.
Would finally look good in clothes.
Could finally eat what they want.
Could finally do what they want.
They’re partner would love them more.
They’re partner wouldn’t cheat on them.

Most women live with this constant judgmental whisper, even those beautiful women you see on fashion magazines. Yes! That woman who you see in that tiny bikini on Shape Magazine more than likely looks in the mirror and does not see how beautiful and worthy she really is.  So today I’m going to tell you a secret.  It doesn’t matter how fit, how lean or how big your boobs are. Many of us think that if we could only eat cleaner, exercise harder or get smaller that we will somehow be happier, life would be perfect and we’d be worthy of that life. But guess what, this is not the case. No matter how lean, fit and healthy you eat if you’re not able to love yourself just as you are no beach body or incredible workout is going to make you feel enough.

So what do we do?

We find ways to love ourselves just they way we are. Whether you feel you have 10lb pounds to lose or 150lbs to lose you get one body, one life and the first step is to appreciate that gift. From there it’s in your control to do what you want with each of these. My mom chose to teach her kids how to eat well, how to enjoy cooking and how to love the outdoors. I played basketball because it was FUN! I now run a boot camp because, yup, you guessed it…it’s FUN! So when you exercise, do it because you love it, because your body feels good doing it and because mentally it makes you happier and enhances your life. The journey to a life of abundance and gratitude starts with the love, affection, and attention we give ourselves. When we can truly love ourselves-right now, in this moment-we can give the best of ourselves to others.

You are an incredible person and you deserve your love.

Whether these media outlets do or do not know the truth about the BAD advice they’re giving, YOU will. Read, learn and then get out there and do a workout that you enjoy, that makes you feel good about yourself and that helps you lead a happier and healthier life.

Bad advice: Spot reduction IS possible
This one is my favorite! A client comes in and says, I want to loose fat from my saddle bags and muffin top and have sculpted abs. Cosmopolitan told her that it’s possible, that you can sculpt perfect abs with nothing more than a seven-minute core routine? It’s the latest ploy to subtly promote spot reduction (the idea that you can lose fat from a single body part by working that body part), and it’s an empty, empty promise.

Why it’s wrong: Ladies, hear me: you cannot get amazing abs by doing sit-ups. You cannot get amazing arms by doing push-ups. You cannot get an amazing ass by doing squats. Yes, these exercises help, they build muscle and enhance strength but without achieving overall fat loss, they’ll do little to make you look like your favorite fitness star.

A killer physique takes killer work, including a long-term, calorie-controlled healthy eating plan combined with a total-body strength training and cardio routine. In other words, it’s going to take more than seven minute abs to get the washboard stomach you’re craving. Sorry to destroy the dream.

Bad advice: One workout can solve all your problems
OMG, TotalBeauty’s five-minute triceps workout will completely make over your life! You’ll be happier, healthier, and probably wealthier by doing this quick workout, all while binge-watching Scandal. Or so they’d have you believe.

First, there’s the implied ability to spot reduce (“this workout will slay your batwings!”), the weird suggestion that a triceps workout will give you “perfect posture” (not true), and most absurdly of all, the implication that this (apparently miraculous) five-minute routine can stave off osteoporosis. That’s where the shit hits the fan.

Why it’s wrong: Yes, strength training is important for maintaining bone health and preventing osteoporosis, but saying you should work your triceps to prevent bone wasting is like taking someone to dinner, then buying an appetizer. There’s something seriously missing from the equation.

If your goal is to use exercise to prevent osteoporosis, your triceps routine isn’t going to make (or break) your bone health. Rather, weight bearing activity that engages the lower body (your legs, hips and spine) can help prevent hip and back fractures, the primary culprits for life-altering osteoporosis-related injuries. Walking, dancing, or lower-body strength moves such as squats and lunges are a much better option.

Bad advice: Strength train before cardio or you’ll destroy your progress
C’mon, Women’s Health. You should know better than to support this garbage.

Why it’s wrong: There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to order a workout. Cardio first? Great. Strength training first? Great. However, it is possible to determine which option is best for you.

The correct way to order a workout comes down to goals and focus. Think about it: You have more energy and better focus at the beginning of a workout, so it makes sense to tackle your primary fitness goals first. For instance, if you really want to gain strength, start your workout with strength training, saving cardio for later. If, however, you want to improve your 5k time, go for a run first.

Bad advice: One “fun” weekend = fitness disaster
Too many media outlets and fitness “experts” support a disordered, all-or-nothing approach to food and fitness. Take, for instance, the intro to this Brides article: “You wake up on Monday after a weekend of fun, friends and a lot of food with a pit in your stomach. You’ve officially fallen off the get-fit wagon and your wedding day is on the horizon.”

Why it’s wrong: Ladies, hear me: One weekend of food and friends does not mean you’ve fallen off the fitness wagon, as long as you maintain your otherwise healthy routine. It’s this type of mental self-flagellation after a night of enjoyment that makes a balanced approach to fitness so hard to attain. Go ahead and incorporate an occasional weekend of cheese fries and margaritas into your lifestyle, trust me, it won’t negate all your positive health behaviors.

Bad advice: Workouts can give your genes a makeover
Why it’s wrong: Dying to try the workout that promises 6 Exercise to Give you Runway Model Legs? Well, unless it miraculously adds six inches to your height, it’s not going to deliver. Heck, I’m 6’0”, and I’m still not going to get runway model legs no matter how many arabesque lunges I do. My genetics simply won’t allow it.

Instead of following a workout based on someone else’s body type (Get Michelle Obama’s arms! Beyonce’s booty! Gwen Stefani’s abs!), understand that your workout’s results are tied, at least in part, to your own genetic predispositions. Make peace with the body you have and embrace the awesome things exercise can do specifically for you.

Bad advice: Building muscle reduces fat
Why it’s wrong: Muscle and fat are two entirely different types of tissue, and building muscle does not automatically reduce fat (this is a common misconception). And gaining fat does not automatically reduce muscle.  I did not get this lean from simply building more muscle!  This took 6 weeks of SUPER clean eating.

Claims like this one, again from Cosmopolitan, drive me bananas, “These four quick moves designed by celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson tighten muscle fibers to eliminate the bumpy appearance of cellulite.”

“Tightening muscle fibers” has nothing to do with the appearance of cellulite.   First of all, Cellulite is fat, again, a tissue completely separate from muscle.   Second, cellulite is genetic.  And third, even if you’re taking steps to reduce your body fat while following a strength training program, cellulite is a specific structure of fat that even elite athletes can’t get rid of! Sorry, Tracy Anderson, your “celebrity tips” are nonsense.

I came across this article by Laura Williams recently and loved it so much I had to publish it within my own Blog. I added bits and pieces here and there so I hope you love it as much as I did!

Here are the facts:

1. ALCOHOL SUPPLIES ALMOST TWICE AS MANY CALORIES PER GRAM AS PROTEIN & CARBOHYDRATES.

Now remember, calories are our bodies energy source, our fuel. Here is a non-scientific way of understanding these fuel sources. I want you imagine that your body has fuel tanks for Protein, Carbohydrates, Alcohol and then you have one tank for Fat that is expandable. Here’s the deal, similar to your car each gas tank can only hold so much before it spills over. In your body’s case, it spills into the expandable Fat tank. Protein and Carbohydrates have 4 cal/g so those tanks don’t necessarily fill up AS quickly but guess what, Alcohol has 7 calories per gram! Only 2 less calories than Fat.
So what happens when you eat and drink too much? Your Protein, Carb and Alcohol tanks will fill up but guess what doesn’t, your Fat tank. That sucker gets to keep expanding and makes room for any excess calories that you ingest.

Oh, and don’t forget:
• Calories from alcohol lack the nutrients beneficial for a healthy metabolism and will therefore hasten fat storage.
• Most alcohol calories are quite concentrated compared to foods causing you to drink more calories than you would ever be comfortable eating.
• If you drink alcoholic beverages that contain other calorie sources, you get a double or triple calorie whammy! Cocktails can have fats and wine and beer have carbohydrates. Guess what carbohydrates do, release insulin. Insulin speeds up fat storage so those carbs in that beer and wine actually helps your body store any fat cells QUICKER! Hello body fat!
An example of how many calories can be easily consumed can be seen with a small glass of wine: a 5-ounce glass of wine will typically contain 110 calories, 91 of which come from the alcohol itself (13 grams), with the remaining five grams coming from carbohydrates.  Beer contains more carbohydrates (although many of the “Lite” beers have a carb content similar to a glass of wine) and less alcohol than wine, but is seen as being more fattening, due to its higher energy content. Remember, this energy is being used to quickly pack all those fat cells all over your body instead of using them up for energy in that spin class.

2. ALCOHOL LOOSENS YOUR INHIBITIONS

No surprise here! The more you drink, the less most people are concerned about what the alcohol is doing to their bodies. You’re relaxed, you’re happy and so you drink! More drinks = more calories = more body fat.
Now you’re drunk and you’re hungry since that alcohol has little to no nutritional value so you chomp down a few slices of pizza to “help sober you up”. More fat and carbs to help your body store all that excess fat, goody goody!

3. ALCOHOL CAN DAMAGE THE STOMACH, KIDNEYS, AND LIVER

Now let’s forget for a moment that six pack you keep working on in the 15 minute ab class is quickly being buried by every drink you have and focus on something more important. Those organs that you can’t show off at the pool are seriously hating you right now.
Alcohol is a by-product of yeast digestion so it can have an irritating effect on the lining of the stomach and gradually weaken the kidneys and liver which can lead to serious health problems, even death.

Let’s go back to that six pack of abs you want. Any weakening of the stomach will lessen the rate and efficiency of food digestion. What’s this mean? You’re slowing down your metabolism and weight loss ability!

Want a healthy body composition? (Nod your head yes, this is your ratio of fat/bone/muscle). The liver is crucial to maintaining a healthy body composition. It processes toxins and breaks down FATS (your beer gut!) for fuel. Alcohol is most destructive during the liver’s detoxification process.
Moral to this story, don’t beat up your kidneys and liver, they’re trying to help those abs you so desire to pop out.

4. ALCOHOL LOWERS TESTOSTERONE

Boy’s AND Girls just when you didn’t think it couldn’t get any worse, alcohol actually makes you LESS buff, toned, ripped, cut. You know that chest or ab workout you just did, that wine just laughed at those muscle fibers trying to rebuild so you can look “lean and toned”.
Testosterone, a natural fat burner, is reduced every time you drink. Not only that but testosterone is also a anabolic hormone which helps you build muscle.

So:  Alcohol = Less Testosterone = Fewer Muscle Gains (bye bye abs)
AND Less Muscle = Lower Metabolic Rate!

A lower metabolic rate means it’s going to be a LOT harder to lose fat. If you have a higher metabolic rate, you will burn more calories even when you’re laying around on the couch. So interfering with testosterone production (drinking alcohol) indirectly causes the body to lower its metabolic rate and directly prohibits testosterone from exerting it’s powerful fat burning effects.

5. ALCOHOL INCREASES APPETITE

We discussed this just briefly in point 2, alcohol can increase appetite, making your calorie consumption for the night far worse. A Canadian study showed that alcohol consumed before a meal increased caloric intake to a far greater extent than did a carbohydrate drink. Also, researchers from Denmark’s Royal Veterinary and Agricultural University showed that if a group of men were given a meal and allowed to eat as much as they wanted, alcohol, rather than a soft drink, would increase the amount of food consumed. Why do you think it is that restaurants bring you your drinks first…

MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you’re one of the few who decides to cut alcohol out of their life completely, good for you! I’m proud of you. For the rest of us who enjoy a glass or two of wine at night, margaritas with friends or a lovely cocktail hour before a show here’s what you can do.

1. Moderation: This will look different for everyone depending on your health but if you’re generally a healthy adult, I recommend no more than an average of 3 drinks per week. Remember, you wouldn’t have 5 pints of ice cream a week. Or at least you shouldn’t.

Personally I try to not drink more than twice a week and very, very rarely in excess (more than 4 drinks). If I know that I’m going to be drinking more one week, on vacation for instance, I’ll try not to drink before vacation and I’ll definitely take a break from alcohol for a week or sometimes two, post vacation. Some weeks I’ll have no alcohol while others I’ll have 4 drinks and maybe 4 times a year I’ll have 10+.

2. Alcohol choice. I’m sorry beer drinkers, but beer is one of the worst options.
Best to Worst
Hard Alcohol: Drink on the rocks and the clearer the better.
Wine: Red is better than white and as they contain more alcohol generally people drink less than beer.
Beer: Light beers are better than dark beers and much better than cider’s and other sugary malt beverages. But be careful sometimes light beer can be worse as people end up drinking more to get the same buzz as regular beer.
Mixed Drinks: The sugary ones are the worst! Juices, sodas, syrups and mixers. Stick with club soda and a lime.

For more specifics, check out this link.

Now go enjoy your weekend and remember, alcohol counts.

When I was rowing with an elite training group at Potomac Boat Club, there was a point when we were doing three workouts a day to prepare for National Team Selection Races. We would row from 6:00-8:30 a.m. out on the Potomac River working on technique, doing long aerobic “steady state” or anaerobic race pieces. Half the year it would be pitch black and bitingly cold out as we launched our boats. We’d return from the row, toes numb and ice frozen on our backs from the splash of our oars entering the water. Then, the other half of the year it would either be a gorgeous DC spring day with views of colorful sunrises, bald eagles nesting, and cherry blossoms blooming all along the river out towards the tidal basin, or it would be blazing hot and humid. Even at 6 a.m. we’d have to cover ourselves in sunscreen and a hat. Inevitably, halfway through the row, a mixture of sweat and sunscreen would make its way into our eyes and sting like all bloody hell. The minimal clothing we wore would be soaked through, and the salt from our bodies would cause our hands to slip and slide all over our handles causing heat sores and bleeding blisters from which there was no relief until we returned to the dock. We’d weigh in 8 pounds lighter after these rows, and hopefully, our shoulders wouldn’t be burnt to a crisp.

This was just the first workout. The second workout was a jog we childishly called a “yog” from the movie Anchorman. We often renamed workouts to make them appear less daunting. We would have to motivate each other to get off the floor of the boathouse, covered in the sweat from the first workout, out the door and fall into the “yogging” motion. Our legs were too fried to go fast or even try and be competitive with each other, so it was more of an elephant trot with some entertaining chit chat about what to make for dinner or poop. I swear the boys always wanted to talk about their poop.

In the evening we would return to the boathouse after our jobs for the final workout. Three days a week it was a lifting routine, and on the others it was another “short” 8-10k row on the erg (ergometer or rowing machine) or the water. This second row was on our own so we could work on the technical coaching given to us that morning. It was our chance to slow down and think about what we were doing while getting in some extra aerobic strokes. Some people hated the second row. We were already tired from the previous two workouts as well as a day at work (as if it hadn’t been tough enough motivating ourselves to get out of bed and to the boathouse the first time). To do it again took a whole other level of mental strength. Personally, I loved these rows. I liked being able to go out on my own and row at my own pace. Do what I needed to do and just enjoy being on the water.

So why am I telling you all of this? Because even the group of us, obsessed with trying to make the Olympic rowing team had our “I don’t feel like working out” days. Don’t get me wrong; we loved what we did! It was hard for us to take an “off day.” Usually our coach would give us a few days off after a big race or at the end of the racing season only to find us all back at the boathouse the next day, and he would have to kick us out and force us to rest. But there were also so many mornings at 4:45 a.m. when I’d wake up and stare at myself in the mirror while brushing my teeth and think, “Why are you awake right now? Are you nuts? Why are you doing this? Your head hurts, your body hurts, you can barely hold a toothbrush with your blistered hands. How are you ever going to hold the oars for another two hours? It’s going to be freezing! It’s snowing outside already, and the dock is definitely going to be covered in ice. Your toes are going to go numb again. You’ll probably lose them to frostbite. Just go back to bed!” So what did I do with all of these negative thoughts going through my head? I set the toothbrush down and said, “Okay Maria, let’s go.” That was it. I think I got the talking to myself gene from my mom, “Let’s go Pat, you can do it!” She’d give herself her own little pep talk even if it was just to start making dinner. It works! Try it. Sometimes all you need is that split second and a few words to keep yourself moving forward instead of backwards into that bed. ”Let’s go! Set that toothbrush down, and start layering your workout clothes on!” and before your brain knows what’s going on, you’re out the door on the way to getting stronger, healthier and happier. Hopefully you can do it while avoiding blisters and freezing your toes.

Tips to get yourself moving when you just don’t want to:
1. Motivating self-talk i.e. “Let’s go!” “I can do this!” “I’ll feel better after I do it.”
2. Schedule it into your day ahead of time.
3. Find a workout partner, accountability group, trainer or coach.
4. Reward yourself with something, i.e. a manicure if you workout 5x/week or a new piece of workout clothing.
5. Do something you enjoy, and this may change depending on the day. One day you may feel like yoga while another day you need a good sweaty run.
6. Put your workout clothes out where you’ll see them. This is a good visual reminder that you have good intentions that you want to follow through with.
7. Keep a motivational phrase or picture on your bathroom mirror. It may simply say, “Go sweat, you’ll feel better.”
8. Get sleep! Sometimes you don’t want to workout because you stayed up too late watching Game of Thrones instead of getting your 8 hours of sleep!
9. Hydrate. If you’re dehydrated you’ll feel gross and lethargic. Hydration keeps your body feeling closer to its optimal condition.
10. Think about how you want to feel and what you want to be able to do when you’re 40, 50, 60, 70 etc. Do you want everything to hurt and be on a million pills, or do you want to be able to spend fun times with your family and friends? Get up and move; your 80-year-old self will thank you for it!