Gouache is a type of paint that is similar to watercolor but opaque rather than transparent. In my creative journey, I have used watercolor paint, pastel, markers, acrylic paint, and graphite pencils.

Zest is by defined by Cambridge Dictionary as enthusiasm, eagerness, energy, and interest. as pleasure, enthusiasm, and excitement. I do not live every moment in a state of Zest, but the moments I do are almost hard to describe. It’s a feeling of purpose, inner joy, and fullness. These words don’t really do the feeling justice. The feeling of zest is like magic for my soul. It fills my cup so I can be present, mentally healthy, and – me.

Yoga doesn’t require a fancy class or studio. You can do it in a chair, living room, outdoors – anywhere really. I was introduced to yoga during a mindfulness class. There were simple moves and stretches with an emphasis on compassion. I remember some of my self-talk the first time I tried to do what the teacher did. It wasn’t pretty. Self-talk was along the lines of questioning why it was so difficult, how I must be so weak, and how I probably was doing it wrong. 

Xylophone was one of the few X words I could think of. Other words that I could think of with the letter X include Xeriscape and Xenophobia. I picked Xylophone because I know of a cool xylophone park. 

WordPress is a Content Management System (CMS). Basically, it is a way to create webpages. People and businesses use webpages for all sorts of things. I see webpages as a tool to spread ideas, knowledge, art, and creativity.

The first webpage was created by Berners-Lee in 1991. You can view the page through a simulator to see what it looked like. My journey into using the internet started in the 1990s. In the beginning, I had a Commodore 64 in the living room of my childhood home, AOL, Alta Vista, and Dial-Up Internet Access. At the time, it was an amazing combination. It was the only combination I had ever known. Getting a computer was kinda a big deal at that time.

I am writing this post as I wait for my graduate school degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling to be conferred. I have completed all of the coursework. Now I simply wait. 

Update: It has been conferred! I now have a Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

I had never planned on going to graduate school. It was intimidating to apply. The application process itself almost stopped me from even moving forward. Just now, I decided to go back and read my essay that I submitted with the application. It was interesting to visit my thoughts and perspectives from 3.5 years ago. Some things, such as my interest in seeing people as unique individuals on a journey, have not changed at all. 

Somewhere between the application process and now, I learned that I was capable of way more than I often gave myself credit for. I was graduate school material. I had As in almost all of my classes. Graduate school gives you space to process and understand the material. I had noticed in past school experiences that it often felt like memorizing information as an exercise in memorization. Graduate school allowed me to learn, synthesize, and use the information in various forms, contexts, and settings.

It was a very personal experience in learning. 

I watch a lot of “alternative lifestyle” YouTubers. One day I came across Living Big in a Tiny House. This was the day that my fascination with tiny houses began. He showed tiny houses, different w/*ays individuals (and families) lived, and the build process. Many tiny houses were in more remote areas on rivers, lakes, and in the woods. People seem to live a simpler life with less stuff and more happiness. 

I am a firm believer that more stuff doesn’t buy happiness. Money can buy security which can bring people out from survival to thriving. Many of us have things we have bought on impulse, hung onto for a long time because we have had it for so long, and things we have “just in case” we need it one day. I have done these things myself. I have scaled down a lot, really thought about the reasons behind the things I have, and tried not to buy on impulse. I don’t always get it right but I am much more intentional now. As I look around my home, I think I have it down to the things I either really love or need. It would be a quick move into a tiny house.

There have been many benefits of going in the direction of minimalism. The biggest benefit is it helps my mind feel less cluttered. There are less things to look at. I tried to donate what I could. Looking back, I don’t even remember the things I donated. They have not been missed.

The town I grew up in was about 50 miles from New York City. It was the suburbs without all of the planned communities that suburbs now often have. This was in the time period in which the kids went out to play and knew to come back at dark. No cell phones existed. I carried around quarters to use pay phones. I was able to walk just about everywhere I needed to go. There was a bus that went to the local mall. The world felt more innocent than it does today – even if it is just because we did not have constant internet spreading news. Wow, I sound really old. I was trying to set the scene.

The high school I went to had a marine science club. The teacher was passionate about the environment, marine biology, and teaching through hands-on lessons. The class made science interesting and relevant to the world we live in. We all have that one teacher that made the difference for us in school. This was the teacher for me. I kept in touch with him for many years after high school. I’m not sure he ever truly understood the impact he had on my life, education, and who I am today.

This club fits the vibe of the times. It was simple yet wonderful. 

There was a whole classroom with fish tanks This is probably the only classroom in the whole school that I looked forward to going into. The rest of the classrooms were obligatory and necessary. There were saltwater and freshwater tanks. I was able to care of the fish, learn about them, and gain an appreciation for life. The hermit crabs, baby horseshoe crabs, and snails stick out in my mind the most. The hermit crabs lived underwater and were so little! 

I am still convinced this is one of the coolest high school clubs ever! The club still exists even all these years later. The thought of all these generations setting up and taking care of saltwater and freshwater tanks while enjoying it as much as I did warms my heart. I am not sure how many schools in the United States have a club like this but I can see how it would be beneficial. As an adult, I can see that there are logistical and financial considerations to something like this. My experience was priceless.

I was able to setup a fish tank in a local elementary school, meet weekly with one of the classes, and teach them about sea life. I remember standing in front of the class talking about whales. The kids were very attentive with many questions. I really knew a lot about sea life at that time. This is one of those experiences when I look back knowing what path I took in life it all makes sense – almost marine biologist who has a degree in education now helping people with mental health. It may not make sense to everyone but it makes sense to me.

The club was more than just saltwater tanks. I wasn’t part of the “popular” group, a sport person, or in some other school click. I would describe myself as someone who was quiet – very quiet just doing what I “should” do.  The marine science club was a place that I felt like I fit in, had purpose, and enjoyed. We all need places like that.

The club also went on a trip ever year to Cape Cod, Massachusetts for a few days. The bus load of us would go from New York to Massachusetts. We would stay in cabins, spend time on the beach, go whale watching, spend time outdoors, and have fun! It was time away from parents and time with friends. There were chaperones and supervision but it felt more relaxed than any regular day somewhere else. There was learning that took place too.

We stopped at Provincetown on every trip. My teenager self was definitely sheltered up until this point. I had never seen people who were LGB (there was no QTIA+ in the acronym in 1990s) walking around just being themselves, holding hands, and loving who they did so open and freely. I knew it was “different” than at home but didn’t understand how it was actually a healthier and more accepting environment for everyone. 

Back to the saltwater – around this time, I also had a saltwater aquarium at home that had sea anemone, clown fish, and a few other creatures. I also had blue damselfish. I spent time mixing water with salt to the right density. The floating hydrometer let me know if there needed to be an adjustment. At one point, I was hatching brine shrimp eggs to feed live food to the tank inhabitants. My parents were fortunately very supportive of my saltwater aquarium hobby. The fish tank was across from my bed so it doubled as a night light and bedtime entertainment. 

Rainbows are beautiful.
They offer hope. 
They are symbolic.

Rainbows can appear on a day that was rainy and gloomy. I go rainbow hunting when it stops raining out. There are a few spots that I tend to see rainbows more often than not. When it stops raining, I go outside to these areas and look up into the sky. I then slowly rotate while looking up. More often than not I find a rainbow. It does make me wonder if the rainbows are there just waiting to be found.