Irasshaimase.. Welcome to my BLOG ^^

Happy Chinese New Year everyone :)

2012-01-24T19:20:00.002-08:00

Two days ago, at the 23rd of february, the chinese people will celebrate the chinese new year day, and this new year is called "water dragon year" in chinese people's beliefs.

And of course, my family also celebrating it by having a dinner time together with my big family. And as usual, the dinner will be held in my grandma's house and many families will come too, and so do i. It`s also one way to have a quality time together with the others because we rarely have the right time to gathered together. We met with a lot of my cousins and talked plus played card together :) That night, me and my brother and sister will stayed up a night in my grandma's house.

After the dinner was over, and the guests already come home, at the midnight, at the turn of the day, we will pray to the God together and also burnt offerings to God to giving us health, happiness and also prosperity to our whole family in this new year.

And, what makes us so happy and always looking forward to this day are the red envelopes! ;p. Yeah, every chinese new year day, every childs got some red envelope which is called "angpao in chinese" from families and relatives which contain some money :p

And, wish this year will be a more better year and bring much happiness for all of us to who celebrate it or not..:)

And well, how`s your chinese new year day? Got a lot of red envelopes? ;p

Me with Mario, my first brother

Me with my sister, Putri

Me with Maxwell, my second brother

And well, enjoy your day because every day is blessings :)

Random topic

2012-01-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

hello all long time no see!~ hahaha

see you again in 2012!
yeah right long time no updating this blog, because : as usual, my laziness and my "moodiness" is calling on me hahahaha lol

For now, because i have not gotten any topic to write of in this blog yet, by this post, i just want to share the recent visitors in my blog ::: woohoooo *drooll

Here`s the pic (click the pic to enlarge it) :

*credit to Feedjit -see your visitors in RealTime-

And, as you can see, the visitors in my blog turns out not only from my country, *Indonesia* but also from many western countries like America, German, and others :D woohooo LOL
So, i can only hope that my english is good enough to read because i`m afraid there is still so many mistakes in my writing, (i`m still learning).. And i hope everyone who finds out and read my blog can understand what i write and hopefully, get some advantage from it

And just wanna share you that :-p
...see youuuuu

*sorry for my peculiarity, just got stressed out tonight! LOL

Harajuku Girls

2011-08-06T01:42:00.000-07:00

This is a song by Gwen Stefani titled "Harajuku Girls", tells us about the beauty of harajuku style in japan :)

woohoo i love this song it`s cool :D

Here is the lyrics;

Wa mono - there's me, there's you (hoko-ten)
In a pedestrian paradise
Where the catwalk got its claws (meow)
A subculture in a kaleidoscope of fashion
Prowl the streets of Harajuku (irasshaimase)
Super lovers, tell me where you got yours
(at the super lovers store)
Yoji Yamamoto, I'm hanging with the locals
Where the catwalk got its claws, all you fashion know-it-alls
With your underground malls in the world of Harajuku
Putting on a show, when you dress up in your clothes
Wild hair color and cell phones
Your accessories are dead on

Harajuku Girls you got the wicked style
I like the way that you are, I am your biggest fan
Harajuku Girls you got the wicked style
I like the way that you are, I am your biggest fan

Harajuku girls, I'm looking at you girls
You're so original girls
You got the look that makes you stand out
Harajuku Girls, I'm looking at you girls
You mix and match it girls
You dress so fly and just parade around (arigato)

I'm fascinated by the Japanese fashion scene
Just an American girl, in the Tokyo streets
My boyfriend bought me a Hysteric Glamour shirt
They're hard to find in the states, got me feeling couture (it's really cool)
What's that you got on? Is it Comme des Garcons?
Vivienne Westwood can't go wrong, mixed up with second hand clothes
(Let's not forget about John Galliano) (no)
Flipped the landscape when Nigo made A Bathing Ape
I got expensive taste (oh, well) guess I better save up (cho takai)

Harajuku Girls you got the wicked style
I like the way that you are, I am your biggest fan

Work it, express it, live it, command your style
Create it, design it
Now let me see you work it
Create it, design it
Now let me see you work it

You bring style and color all around the world. (You Harajuku Girls)
You bring style and color all around the world. (You Harajuku Girls)

You're looking so distinctive like D.N.A., like nothing I've ever seen in the U.S.A.
Your underground culture, visual grammar
The language of your clothing is something to encounter
A Ping-Pong match between eastern and western
Did you see your inspiration in my latest collection?
Just wait 'til you get your little hands on L.A.M.B.,
'Cause it's (super kawaii), that means (super cute in Japanese)
The streets of Harajuku are your catwalk (bishoujo you're so vogue)
That's what you drop

Cho saikou - Harajuku Girls
And that's what you drop, that's what you drop
Cho saikou - Harajuku Girls
And that's what you drop, that's what you drop
(I don't think you understand I'm your biggest fan)
(Gwen Stefani - you like me?)

Style detached from content
A fatal attraction to cuteness
Style is style
Fashion is fashion
Girl, you got style.

**************************************************

Download this song if you want by clicking this link;

Harajuku Girls

Death Notice/Ikigami

2011-07-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

What if you know that you only have 24 hours/1 day before you die??

A simple question yet, but hard to answered

This question will be uncovered in this manga. Death Notice/Ikigami (イキガミ) is a Japanese manga written and illustrated by Motoro Mase.

This manga basically tells us about people`s psychological condition and their reaction if they knows that they will die in 24 hours. But, further more, Ikigami also tells us about the effect from the law to the public, the ikigami deliverer, and the person who received the ikigami.

The story :

Ikigami is a story about Japan, which its government launched a law called "National Prosperity Law", due to the laziness and apathy of Japanese's people.

The law makes sure all Japanese students who sits on the first grade receive a special inoculation. It`s called special because 0,1% (1 : 1.000) of these vaccines includes a nano capsule which will flow in human`s blood and will stay in the heart. And this will kill the receiver somewhere betweeen the ages of 18-24.

No one, include the government can decide who will receive the vaccine which contains the nano capsule. It`s injected randomly which means, everyone, in the first grade have the same probabilty to receive that deathly vaccines and the identity of the receiver will only be known 1 months before the nano capsule explode and kill the person. The advance notice of death/ikigami will be sent to warned the person by the ikigami deliverer about 24 hours before he/she die.

Why they makes such a vicious law?

The theory is, if you know that there`s a chance that you`ll die between age of 18-24, then you`ll works so hard in order to achieve your dreams before that age. And the government believes that the threat of unexpected death will increase prosperity and productivity and also decrease criminality in its citizens.

And indeed the prosperity in Japan increased because of this law and sure, makes them realized the value of life, but at a great cost, innocent lives. Citizens who do not agree with the National prosperity law and who publicly voice their opinions are accused of "thought crime."

The plot :

The main character in this manga is Kengo Fujimoto, who has been recruited by the government as an ikigami deliverer. His job is to deliver the ikigami/death notice within 24 hours before the nano capsule inside the person explode.

He deliver the ikigami with many complex feelings, because his job is to tell person that he/she is going to die within 24 hours. Throughout the story, Fujimoto feels that this law is wrong and he struggles not to commit thought-crimes publicly and tried to break this law from inside.

What will those condemned think and do during this short time??

The manga was also adapted into a live-action film titled Ikigami in 2008 with Tomoyuki Takimoto as its director.

ART
The art is realistic like the concepts of the story. The characters and backgrounds are depicted vividly and arranged in order to make us easier to understand the story and it could decipher clearly the eerie atmosphere and the despair of the person who have to died.

MY REVIEWS
This is a reccomended manga because it has a moral message to live our life to the fullest because we don`t know when we`ll die. Imagine if we received the ikigami. What will we do in our 24-hours-life-time? This manga also makes my mind more clearer about life and death.

The stories in every chapter is also good, not monotonous, not boring and touching!

The persons who received the ikigami is all from different backgrounds and have different way too to accept the fact that they`ll die in 1 day. That`s what`s interesting in this manga. The teenager`s responds is different with their own problems and that`s what we can learn from this manga.

The reality in our society

2011-05-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

At first, i want to you to read a song from Simple Plan with title CRAZY. This is one of the song that its lyrics criticize our social life and tell us the fact and reality of life which is so ironic but mostly happened nowadays.

Here it is...

***

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They wont stop 'til they've reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photoshop pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

I guess things are not how they used to be
There's no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it's world war III

No one cares, no one's there
I guess we're all just too damn busy
Money's our first priority
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUV's
While kids are starving in the streets
No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life's unfair

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something

something is wrong
Is everybody going Crazy?
Can anybody tell me what's going on
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

***

Yeah, in my opinion this song is absolutely right. Most people in the society don`t care about others and only cares for themself.

Adults only thinks about money, like it is the only thing important in this world. And many parents don`t understand their children and often forced their opinion, thinking it will makes them happy. They don`t wanna listen to them first.

Most teenagers, especially woman obsessed with their appearance, how they look in public, so sometimes they do diet till die, styling hair and wearing make up every day, buying many branded bags, etc just to polish their outer look and makes them forget about inner beauty.

And many people just too busy for their own importance so they refuse to cares for others who are in needs.

Although it seems so bad, but this is the fact of our social life nowadays, and it`s something unavoidable. Because, along with the technology improvement, humans become more and more individualistic, more independent and also having more activity and of course more busy to care for others

It`s ironic how people always being taught in school to care about others, love others like you love yourself, helping people who are in need, etc etc etc and we answered questions in exam and of course already know it is the right thing but unfortunately it`s only a theory and like many people said, "say something is always easier than actually done it"

Not mean to be hypocrite, i know that care for others is a very difficult thing to do when we also have our own importance and also have problems in life as an individual, and maybe we often ask like, "why should i care for him/her first, when even my problems is not solved yet?"

But, that`s only natural for human.

The only thing that we can do is believe that we have something more than others who are in need so we should shares what we have to the others who don`t have. What to shares not only limited to money or material things but if we have more time, energy or knowledge, we could share it to makes a better society to live.

If all people thinks like that, then people will live in a harmony and help each other (although it`s difficult hahaha)

And remember, keep smiling :)

Day Trips in New York

2011-04-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

You lived in a hectic, busy town, in New York and you want to get relax from your work just one day from your business and go somewhere new but not too far from New York? But you don`t know where to go, what place is worth to be visited there , who can give you information about the place and what if you lost of track?

Your answer is here; take day trips from New York to many other places new like Philadelphia, Boston or Washington D.C by Woodbury Common, a promising company to be a guide for your interesting, enjoyable and unforgettable moments of tour around one of this place only in one day. On the evening, you will be back in time to New York again so don`t worry if you have any activities you must do for tomorrow.

You can explore historical site, famous cities and you can go to the best shopping centre in there by ride the bus tours which provide you with comfortable, controlled motor coach transportation to and from your destination place (either Philadelphia, Boston or Washington D.C)!

During the trips, you`ll be accompanied by a friendly, knowledgeable and professional tour guide, who already have experience in his/her field and knew well about the destination place. He/she will explain to you everything about the city, include what places is good to be visited there, fun facts about the places and the history about the monuments, buildings, and people of the city and any other important information for you.

And you will also have some free times to explore on your own, go shopping to many places and get lunch!

So, if you want to have this day trips, check their website by clicking this link; Woodbury Common

-- Sponsored Post By ReviewMe --

I`m getting older in a moment

2011-03-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

It looks like my birthday is coming soon..
Now is tuesday, March 22nd, 11.05 PM here in Jakarta, Indonesia when i wrote this post
and about an hour again, my birthday comes on March 23rd and i`ll left my 17 into 18

Honestly, i hate being older, i hate to grown up. hate it so much
okay, maybe this sounds childish but i love being children than to be adults.!

being adults mean i have more and more responsibility to take and i think i`m not ready to it.
being adults mean i have to work someday after i graduate from this university and not depends to my parents anymore.
being adults mean i must behave carefully and unlike children, if you do something wrong, people usually won`t understand it and won`t accept whatever your reason for being wrong.
Plus, i`m the first children in my family and i must be a good sister for my brothers and sister..
...

ughh.. so frustrating..so many burden to take
there are so many things that i`m still worrying about

But still,
this is something that is unavoidable..
every human will keep growing up, keep getting older without exception..
and time doesn`t wait for us..

so,i must learn to face every problem that comes to me and not being spoiled kid anymore like i was before..
i must be strong, stands on my own, not depends and not expect on others too much
i must change my behavior which is so childish into a mature one.

I am 18 in a moment..

Can i? Can i?
*hope i can*

My wish this year is just, i hope i can being a better person and can change my bad habit..
God Bless me..

Moon in the night sky

2011-03-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Lately, i always saw a half-moon which is shining beautifully in the dark-night sky when i was on the way home from my college (recently, i always go back home night, duh -.-)
And, anyway, the moon is so beautiful :D
i like it so much and it`s so rare for me to see a moon shining as clear as this recent nights.. ^^

And so, i took a picture of it;
(Here it is)

Look at a white shine in the middle? that`s the moon!
sorry if the pic isn`t very clear, because i took it from my window`s room with my cellphone`s camera..
I wish i could see that moon again in other chance but with the falling stars on the night sky and i will say my wish ...
and only can hope that my wishes will be come true
hahaha..

a girl`s heart's contents

2011-03-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

I fall in love with you after we first met..
At that time, i don`t know you, but your face and your charm just makes me interested in you..dunno why
I can`t erase you from my mind since that day.

After we often seeing each other, i`m sure that you`re a good man, not a bad one.
An independent man, gentle, have faith and caring with others..Although sometimes you looks somewhat ignorant, but still cool.

With your charming smile and friendly personality, you makes me believe that tou`re interested in me too.. and i am just having my confidence when i finally know that you`re already have a girlfriend? 0_0

You makes me so desperately in love~
And now you let me down~
*(You - Ten2Five)*

And after i realized that i`m deeply in love with him, i become a very shy girl in front of him, turning my face around when i see him, just pretend like i don`t see him
And i often makes a weird smile? and blushing when i makes a contact with him by accident
>_<

Oh God~

Hope he doesn`t know about my feelings because i`m just too shy to express it
If he had known about my feelings, what should i say when i met him again?
But i also wanna him to know my feelings although just a little?
huffttthh.. so confusing.

Okay, maybe it can be said that i just wanna know his feelings for me.
Is he into me or not, just to make clear everything and don`t makes me like this..!!!

Hopefully, he do has a feelings for me although it`s just a littleeeeee, or even one percentage :(, but i still have a chance! I can`t give up!!! hahahaa
*it`s a girl`s spirit*

but, if he really doesn`t have a feelings for me, i can`t force him and just can face the sad reality.
*hiksss*
I must stay still and must not down just because of this
*although i know it can be very haaarrdddd*

Because, there`s a thing that every girl must remember, don`t worry because there are still plenty of fish in the sea XD hahaha

March is near-- -- --

2011-02-28T06:32:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of february 2011 and tomorrow is already march 1st!!

March comes means...
-my birthday is coming soon and i`m getting older one more year again, left my 17 to 18 *ewww*
-dunno why, it`s my favorite month. Maybe because it`s a month when my birthday is, or a month which have the first three words the same as my name :D
-days, weeks, even months move very fast that i don`t even realize it that it`s almost march already..!! *so, i mustn`t wasting my time again? hahaha*
-i`m getting old-getting old-getting olddd.. *echoes
(something that is unavoidable for every human but i really hate being old, ughh it sucks -.-'')
-the mid term test will begin very soon~~
-...
-...
-...

hahaha.. weww...
And so, no matter what happens, i will keep doing my best!!!
hope my birthday wishes will be come true soon!?

--marin--

Saliva can makes your CD`s work again?

2011-02-20T03:36:00.000-08:00

Your saliva can makes your CD work out!!

Yes, maybe it sounds gross or disgusting but it`s the fact.!
And i have proved it by myself

It started when my bro wants to play the playstation 2`s games so badly, if i am not mistaken, Resident Evil 4 and makes him so desperate that the game won`t start how many times he tried to take off the CD and put it up again.

He tried to wipe it with tissue and still, the game won`t start.
He tried to wash it with clean water and wipe it till dry, but it also doesn`t work
My bro get confused because he just bought the CD not too long ago, and he rarely played it again.

And so, don`t know what idea he has, he tried to put his saliva onto the CD, and wiped it with the tissue gently and i shouted, "ugh, so filthy.!"
but, the games start and i am surprised but still thinks maybe it`s just a mere coincidence.

***

And then, not too long ago, i wanna play Ar tonelico 2 (in play station 2) and the CD`s doesn`t work, even i have two CD`s of them (one is my friend`s and i borrowed it)
but the two of them didn`t work which makes me confused because that CD isn`t being played anymore recently.

And so, with a little gross feelings, i remembered the saliva technique and i put my saliva onto the CD and wiped it with tissueee cleanly and....

THE CD WORK!

hahaha :D, so it`s just not a coincidence
and it`s worth to try compared to buying a new CD everytime the games won`t start like that.

But it`s only work out if your CD isn`t broken (of course --") and not have too many scratch
Well, happy trying ^^

My Decision

2011-02-20T00:48:00.000-08:00

I am what i am
I am different, i am unique~
I have freedom to do anything i want
I am an individual who can control my life
Nobody can control my life, my fate, except me, myself~

So, if there are any people who don`t like me the way i am, i won't care anymore
Because if i care, i will just hurt myself even more
It always makes me compare myself to other people who i thinks is better than me and makes me envy them.

And it makes me always have a negative thinking towards other people and towards myself too, thinking what i should do, what should i change to makes them like me
And sometimes, it makes me pretend to like something although i hate it, makes me act like someone who isn`t me at all, and my mouth could say YES although my heart says NO, all of this just to makes them like me.

And i really hate this feelings of jealousy and hypocrisy but i can`t just stop it.

I understand and it`s very natural, because it`s just one of human`s needs, wants to be appreciated and be approved, wants to be loved, wants to be acknowledged by other human that they`re exist.

And i just realize that, it`s up to them if they don`t like me
I still have many other people who likes me, who loved me for what i am

I don`t have to care what others said about me, because it will only waste my mind and my energy, thinking and thinking what will makes them love me
I don`t have to change, because like i said, "i am different and i am unique"
For what i change my uniqueness just to be like someone else?

Besides, we can`t make every person in this world likes us.
We`re human, cause we`re human, and we`re not God, we`re imperfect.
It`s only natural that sometimes we may make mistakes and maybe mistakes that we makes may makes someone else hate us, and it`s not that easy to forgive us.
And because human is so many and so-so different one after another, it`s only natural too if there are any conflict because of different personality, different arguments and also conflicts between religion, between race, etc, all of them considered that their race and their religion is the best over all

Even a very kind person, for example, must have someone who hate her.
So, it`s just a futile endeavour to try to makes all people in this world likes us, but now i`m trying not to have negative thinkings towards other people again and try not to judge and treat anyone so badly just by hearing some gossips, which isn`t always true. (sounds hard ughh --")
but i`ll try.
And if i makes any mistakes, please forgive me because i don`t mean it.

So, if there are any people who hate me, i will try not to care anymore (although it must be difficult) and try to live my life to the fullest, doing whatever i want, whatever i like~~
don`t care what everybody will said at the end

Like, hey, it`s my own life~~
I am a big girl and i`ve known already what is good and what is bad
It`s my fate
Nobody has right to control it, but me, myself ^^

Heppiii nuuu yeaaarr alll..!!!

2010-12-31T21:43:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody.. Today is the first day in a new year, 2011
it`s time for us to said "good bye" to 2010 and say "hello" to 2011

so i wanna say : Happy New Year all! Be blessed~!

And i`m so happy because i`ve a great, long-long holiday till the middle of february!
YEAH

This holiday, i spent time by doing many lazy things hha
such as :
*playing play station, nintendo ds, cards, etc.
*go to mall with friends, play and play or watch movie..
*go out with family
*watch dvd
*eat and sleep, eat and sleep ...
hahahaha

Well, i guess it`s okay because like i said it`s a long-long HOLIDAY and i`ve got nothing better to do so i just spent my time by having fun all-day ^^

Btw, it`s my first post in 2011 and i finally wrote it after few weeks and lately i`m so lazy to turned on the computer dunno why =.=

and i just wanna hope this year, i`ll be a better person, have high spirit and NOT LAZY anymore! haha.

Santa, can you hear me~

2010-12-09T07:27:00.001-08:00

This is a song by Britney Spears and i post the lyric of this song here because it`s already December and christmas is near!
i love this song. This song is good and have a deep meaning. It tells about a girl who wants Santa Claus to grant her wish in Christmas. Although this song seems kinda childish, (because i think it`s almost impossible to ask Santa to give her a guy or someone to love her in christmas, meanwhile santa`s exsistence is doubtful), but i still love this song!
Because, this song also gives us a hope in our love life, will any miracle really happen on christmas? :p and will makes us smile too :)

And okay, here is the lyrics :

Ooh yeah
Last night I took a walk in the snow
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love
Santa, can you hear me ?

I sign my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I send it off and just said this
I know exactly what I want this year
Santa, can you hear me ?

I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me someone to hold
Maybe, Maybe
He'll be all my own in a big red bow
Santa, can you hear me ?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here
Santa that’s my only wish this year.

Christmas Eve, I just can’t sleep.
Will I be wrong for taking a peek ?
Cause I heard that you're coming to town.
Santa, can you hear me ?
I really hope that you're on your way,
with Something special for me in your sleigh.
Ooh please make my wish come true
Santa, can you hear me ?

I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me someone to hold
Maybe, Maybe
we'll be all alone under the mistle toe
Santa, can you hear me ?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here
Santa that’s my only wish this year

I hope my letter reaches you in time
woooo yeah
Bring me a love I can call all mine
Cause I have been so good,so good this year
Can’t be alone under the mistle toe
he's all i want in a big red bow

Santa, can you hear me ?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here
Santa, that’s my only wish this year

Ooh Santa
Can you hear me ?
ooh santa
Well he's all I want just for me
underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here..
Santa, that’s my only wish this year
Santa, that’s my only wish this year

And here is the link if you want to download this song :
Click it;
Santa, can you hear me

December oh December

2010-12-06T04:28:00.000-08:00

Moshi-Moshi minna-san..!! *Hello everybody*

This is my first post in December and December finally come ^^ lalala
December means christmas is near XD, and i`m looking forward to itt..
And December is also means my final exams in my first semester in this university life is coming and i *must* study hard in order to get a good score to makes my dad proud of me as the dependable and the first child in my family!
ganbattee.. fight fight.. jia youu..!!

No more playing anymore *can i? doubt it.. haha* and i have to be serious in my study because this is the end of this semester and after this i will have a long-long holidayy (yeahh!) and i can do everything i want, including playing all-day and go everywhere i want *hopefully i can go to japan next year*! *huahahahaha XD*

***

Oh, and .. by the way, i attended a cosplay event last saturday (December 4th), Hellofest 7, at Balai kartini, Jakarta which can be said the biggest cosplay event in Indonesia that occured only one a year, many people come to attending that event, even from outside my province.

And in that event, i wore my newest costume that actually have done last january, but it was a mess so i decided not to wear it anymore until it has been modified and finally it`s done.!
This costume can be said my original costume although at first it`s based from an anime but i sewed it on a wrong tailor and he made it really different from the picture and so-so . .. .... =.=

And... that comes the costume become the original costume because it`s so different than the anime and i have too made it modified first before i decided to wear that costume to an event again and i called this character "christmas doll".

Oh, and back to the topic, at first i was so sad because i`m coming late, 3.30 PM and many of my friends must going back home soon T^T
But, i was soooooo happyy at lastt because at the cosplay event, i can cosplaying again, and can meet many of my friends there, can having fun together before the exams
and ALSO can takes many photos and PLUS, when i looked at the photos when i got back home, i looks so beautiful *narcism :p* and many friends told me that i looks like a doll ^^.
*Yeahh.. Mission accomplished..!!* huahahaa..

Here is my pics at the event :: *no edit, just retouch hahaha XD*

(My bro and my friends said that this one looks like a doll)

(Loved this pic so muccchh ^3^ at Hellofest)

*How is it? Is it good? hahaha.. XD
Actually this costume is like a lolita costume too, and i wore it on December and it`s matched because it`s near christmas lalalaaa ^^

Anyway, i want to say thanks to few persons who helps me in my cosplay last saturday.. hahaha.

*First, say thanks to Dai Tsukiya, who modified this costume till it can be like this. She is a great tailor *placked*, uh, costume maker i mean :p,
She sew in detailed and she know any good fabric and the price is affordable for me :D

*Say thanks too to Nana Koo or Yuliana who applied makes up on my face that can makes my eyes which is so small =.= can looks bigger and also makes my face looks so bright and do hairstyling too to curly my hair and spray it into red for me for ... FREE!!!! ^^.
*i feel guilty though, so i decided to forced her to received payment next time i asked for her help, although she said it`s unnecessary* T_T

*Say thanks too to Desy Natalia Jikoren or DESDUT :p, *kidding des, please don`t mad at me, huahaha* who often accompany me when i go cosplay and patiently help me put on my costume, applied wig, bring my bag sometimes, bring my other things and many more.
She`s one of my bestfriend although now i rarely see her because we attended different university, kinda miss you Des.. T_T
"Thank you Des, you are really a good friend" huahahaa..

*Say thanks too to Philip, my friend, who lately i forced to come to any cosplay event that i attended to bring his SLR camera and followed me everywhere i go to take photos of me.! huahahaa.. He also kindly bring my bag if it is needed and is so patient deal with my babbling XD
p.s : please don`t waste too much money to buy something that`s not too important ..

*And last, but not least, i wanna say thanks too to all my cosplayers friends who have the same interest in Japan and likes cosplaying likes me and have supported me *i love you all ^3^
but especially i wanna say thanks to Kyorin Clasphere or Kyoko or Rin a.k.a M*rsh* Indir* LOL
She is my best buddy in cosplay and we are the same members in our cosplay team, Clasphere. She often help me and is so patient with me and she is also great costume maker too. I have known her for two years and she likes Ar tonelico so much likes me ^^, and we often attended cosplay event and cosplaying just for the two of us~

***And Looks like everyone who wants to be my friend must be "patient" dealing with me ahahaha sorry, friend for always troubling you all LOL

And that`s it. Wish me luck for this December and hope the most thing i want right now can come true soon ^w^

Fiuhhh

2010-11-28T00:25:00.000-08:00

*Not in the mood to do anything*

Note : The final exams will be coming soon on December 6th and i`m not ready at all~
Current status : i`m sick and do you know what is my sickness that the doctor told me? lazy syndrome ...
Current activity : playing my nds, eating and... sleeping, wew -.-

Because i am :

feeling depressed~
feeling depressed~
feeling depressed~

feeling empty;feeling bored;feeling something is missing
feeling sad-sad-sad
feeling so-so-so tireddd!!
feeling so stressed out..
feeling bored

wanna cry and cry so badly
wanna scream out loudddd..!!!
wanna get more holidaysss, saturday and sunday isn`t enough!
wanna sleep all day!!!
wanna play playstation and complete many games.
*but i know i can`t* --sigh--

is waiting for something that even i don`t know for sure it will really happen or not

***
okay, enough with the grumblings.. Because i don`t know what to write anymore -.-
Btw, this is the first post in my blog which is so weird like this that makes me laugh when i read it again but i don`t care because this is my feelings and after i wrote it down in here, i feel so much better, dunno why :D

Just waiting and wishing that everything will gonna be alright :)
and hope that my lazy syndrome will be cured soon so i can get good grades for my exams and don`t make my dad disappointed..
Wish me luckk.. hahaha.
God Bless Me

Beautiful words to read..

2010-11-20T06:19:00.000-08:00

Someone has written these beautiful words. Let`s read and try to understand the deep meaning of it :)

PRAYER is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when you are in trouble,
but it`s a "steering wheel" that directs your way to the right path

Why is a car`s "windshield" is so large and the car`s "rear view mirror" is so small?
Because our PAST is not so important as our FUTURE does.
So, look ahead, and just learn from your past, and move on

Friendship ... is like a BOOK.
It takes few seconds to burn but it takes years to write.

Realize that all things that happened in our life are temporary and they`re spinning like a WHEEL.
If things going well, enjoy it because they will not last forever.
If things going bad, and not like what you`re expected to happen, don`t worry because they can`t last long either

Old friends ... are GOLD and new friends ... are DIAMOND.
If you get a diamond, don`t you forget the gold because to hold a diamond, you always need a base of GOLD!

Often when we lose hope and think that "this is the end",
GOD smiles from above and he says, "Relax, sweetheart. This is just a bend, not the end."

When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in his abilities;
When GOD doesn`t solved your problems, he has faith in your abilities.

A blind person asked St.Anthony : "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?"
He replied, " Yes, losing your vision!"

When you pray for the others, GOD listens to your prayer and blesses them.
And sometimes, when you`re safe and happy, don`t forget that someone has prayed for you.

WORRYING does not take away tomorrow`s TROUBLES,
it takes away today`s PEACE.

DREAMS will determine what you want in life
ACTIONS will determine what you get in life

The best day to do something, check here

2010-11-05T04:57:00.000-07:00

When i look for some articles for my assignment, i found this article accidentally and i felt this article is very interesting so i decided to put it in my blog.

This article is about the best day to do some activities based on the research and survey from many peoples.
Here it goes..

Monday, is the best day to reduced stress. Take time to relax on this day. Don`t drink much alcoholic beverage on the weekend and don`t get too much stressed when you begin to work or study on this day. Because, according to British Medical Journal study, about 20 percent of people have probably died of heart attack on this day.

Tuesday, is the best day to design a list of tasks and jobs and do it. According to the survey, workers are very productive today than the other days.

Wednesday, is best day to find love. According to the survey, 40 percent of the 8,000 participants considered that this day is the most special and unforgettable moment for a first date.

Thursday, is the best day to have sex. According to the research, the culmination of energy that stimulates cortisol natural sex hormones occur on this day. So, you should set your alarm clock to wake up and make love on Thursday morning. Because on this day, the testosterone in men and estrogen in women is five times higher than usual.

Friday, is the best day to stop smoking. If you turn off the cigarettes on this day, according to the research, you will be able to withstand the temptation to start smoking again at the weekend. This occurs because Friday is the first day when peoples are in their determined condition and have a strong will to stop doing something bad.

Saturday, is the best day to have a baby. According to the survey, children who was born at saturday have a better chance to become someone important someday.

Sunday, is the best day to eat outside your house. Prepare what to cook today will be more stressful than going to the dentist. So, don`t get too tired and just relax by spending time going to the restaurant and eat there with your family.

Hope this article will be useful for you :)
I don`t know if this is true or not, but just check it out and keep do your best every day :D

RainBow over The Sky

2010-11-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

This evening i saw a rainbow in the sky by chance
I was sleeping in the car because i`m so tired and suddenly my friend who was driving the car said, "Look, there`s a rainbow."
I wake up and see it.
It`s so beautiful :D
and it`s so rare to see a rainbow in Jakarta, and moreover, rainbow usually appeared after a big rain or else but this rainbow come out only after a little rain (drizzle)

I took a photo of it :
Sorry if it`s quite blur because i took it with my cellphone camera >w<
Hope this rainbow can brings happines for me in November
hahaha.

My love Story

2010-10-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

Seems like i`m falling in love with someone *blush*
This feelings is so different from before and before i know it, i`m already falling in love with him
The first time i see him, i got attracted by his smile
And when i get to see him more often, i attracted with him more and more (for me, he is so mature but sometimes childish and his smile is so alluring)
and now i am trying to get that person`s attention but i am confused with him
Is he into me or interested in me at least a little or not? *hope so*
He is kind to me and my friend said that he may be interested in me but i`m still not so sure because he is also kind to the other girl the same way he treats me that makes me even more confused and drive me crazy T_T
And, because i`m too shy and too afraid to show my true feelings, i always pretend and act like i didn`t like him and just hope that my face won`t get red in front of him so he won`t realize how deeply in love i am~
I am trying to behave normally although it`s hard because my heart is beating and racing fastly and i`m getting so nervous when talking with him
I just can hope and pray to God to give me a chance to communicate with him more and makes him interested in me :)
Wish me luck

Daisuki desu~

A little quotes from me :

*It breaks your heart to see the one you love is walking with someone else but it`s more painful if the one you love is unhappy with you

*Don`t search and find for love. Let love show it by itself. That`s why it`s called falling in love

*Love makes your life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?

Bizarre Love Triangle

2010-10-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

This is a song about triangle love by Frente
Not that i liked triangle love, but i just like this song cause the singer`s voice is good and pure like a young girl
hahaha.

Here is the lyrics :

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind

There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows

Reff :
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You`ll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday

I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Back to reff

Enjoy it :)

A prayer for God (my reflection)

2010-10-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

God, i know i shouldn`t talk like this..
But i have many questions that stucked in my mind

I decided to wrote it here to improve my english and decreased my laziness too.

Why i must born in this world at this place?
Why i must born in this family with a mom that i think doesn`t love me?
Why i must have this sensitive heart that makes me REALLY-REALLY EASY to cry and down even when it`s only a small problem that comes to stand in my way?
Why i don`t have this and that she/he has?
Why i must looks like this and don`t looks better?
And the other *why why why* that i don`t write here..

I know we, as a humans will never be satisfied of what we have.
And this questions are the factors that makes me jealous of other people better than me, often negative thinking to other people and makes me envy my best friend with my imperfection ...

Although i think it`s a natural feelings that every human beings sure have feel the feelings i felt..
But i`m just feel bad to be jealous and envy other people >.<
I really really want to erase this feelings from my heart and mind but i can`t..
i guess i can`t help it.

***

And Why i couldn`t have "something" that i`ve yearn about since before?
Why don`t You grant my wish that i said almost in every prayer to get?
Why is it so hard for me to get that thing while people at my age is so easy to get that?
Maybe it isn`t my time or maybe i`m not ready to get it yet i don`t know..

And if this is continues, there are many questions that i want you to answer but i know you can`t answer it for me directly..

But i must believe in you and think it in other way ..

I know that if you don`t grant my wish it means it`s not the best way or maybe it`s not the best time for me and you have the other plan for me that is better than the plan that i create.
My birth in this world must have meanings and something to do for this world..

***

And if i tried to answer my questions above myself and try to be positive thinking,

i think i`m grateful i was born in this family although with a mom that i think doesn`t love me.. Maybe it was my assumption and my negative thinking (again) only, i don`t know?
But i still have a dad that loves me and my brothers and sister fairly.
I also have two brothers and a sister that is cute although sometimes naughty and being a nuisance for me but it`s best than to be the only child in the family that must makes me lonely and bored because there are no friends to talk and play with when you are at home
It`s also a best thing that i still have parents, perfect, a mom and a dad while the others may have only a dad or only a mom or maybe not have mom and dad at all or their parents divorced.

I must be grateful with this sensitive heart i have.
I am easy to understand what the other`s feelings, easier to feel sympathetic at other`s condition or in a trivial thing that makes me really easy to drop tears in every condition.
I also really love to help others if i could because i like it when people feel happy and helped because of me..

***

Thanks God you still give me breath to life in this world that means You still give me time in this world to do something useful..

I will try to reduced my negative thinking and reduced my jealousy to other people too
I will try to think it in other way.
If i feel my life is difficult, i would think it`s because You want to test me whether i`m strong enough or not and You want to tested my faith in you by facing every problem that comes to me by keep smiling :)

I am trying to take this life whatever it`ll be and be grateful in every condition if i can
Although it must be hard and a long journey but i will try.
Hope your blessed in my life, God.

Yosh, so I WILL TRY!!
Hope the BEST!
^^

***

Quotes of the day (believe or not, it was made by me, haha):

1."there is nobody in this world that is perfect, one may have their strength and their weakness, so i think it`s useless to jealous with other people because you also have your own good that maybe you don`t realized it yet"

2."Life is like a wheel, it`s spinning up and down.
Everything in this world is temporary, nothing in this world is eternal.
if your life is good, enjoy it because it`s not lasted forever and if your life is hard, it couldn`t lasted forever too so keep smiling and keep faced every trouble your life"

My reflection today :
I will try to be positive thinking and not jealous much to other people!
I will try not to depends on others much by being a spoil kid but makes others depends on me if i could!
Hope i can do it ^^

Happy Blogging today 10.10.10

2010-10-09T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hello all ^^
It`s been a few months since the last time i updated this blog, yeaa
And i`m still so so sooo lazy to write it every time.. T^T
*guess i can`t really erased my laziness hahaha

Plus, now i`m already a college student, not a student anymore that makes me feel a little bit stressed out because i`m not yet used to the university`s life.. >.<

And today is October 10, 2010 or 10.10.10!
Such a beautiful number isn`t it? hehe.

Oh, and tomorrow is my first exam in my accounting studies in university!
Hope the best score for tomorrow and for the other exams! ^^

So, i`m off to studying!
Wish me luck for my examsXD

The Real Me

2010-08-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

This is a short fiction story which originally created by me two years ago when i was a second grade of highschool and inspired by persona 4 (play station 2`s game)

I want to show that all of us, human should be honest with ourself although sometimes it`s hard and we may pretend to be someone else, but try to be yourself :)

"You`re the worst! You pretend like you`re a happy girl, always smiling, and always friendly to everybody. But inside of your heart, i know you actually is sucks of all this life and you...."

"STOP! How can you said that shit with my face? That`s not true!!" I screamed loudly in this weird place, angrily to someone that looks precisely like me.

"And besides, where are we? Am i only dreaming?" Said me unbelieveably and still don`t know where am i now.

"HAHAHAHHAAHA..!!!" Laugh her horribly.

"What`s so funny? You haven`t answered my question yet."

...

"This place... is called the border of truth and lie."

"What? I don`t get it. Why am i in this place? Please answer me!"

Suddenly, i felt a presence of another people here and in my back, i look the siluet of two peoples appear..

I watch carefully and i realized who that people are.

They are... John, my boyfriend and June, my bestfriend in school.

But their conditions seems strange and they don`t look like they how usually are.

"What have you done to them?" I asked her who staring at the two of them too.

"Me? I don`t do anything. I`m just appearing them here."

"You`re bastard! Why you must involved my friends?" Said me as loud as i can

"Hmmm... I allow you to call me that. Yeah, you`re right, i`m a real bastard. But, i just want to remind you. You are me. I am you. We`re the same and if i`m a bastard and you`re either."

"WHAT? NO! That can`t be! Of course you aren`t me! You are only disguise, right?"

"..."

"And i`m here right now is because of you. And i just want to be honest with myself. I really-really hate them! I want to kill them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Said the other "me" with spear which appeared suddenly in her hand, ready to stab the two of them.

"NOOOOOOOOO!! That`s absolutely wrong. I never think of that. Please,, let go of them. Just.. Just kill me if it makes you happy, okay?" Said me desperately.

She suddenly cackled like a witch`s laugh.

"HAHAHA. Now you want to act like you`re a hero in front of your friends, huh?!"

"No! That`s...."

"Hmm.. John.. John.. He`s dumb. very-very dumb. He`s so in love with me. Yess.. I`m happy with the way of that....."

"No no no! Don`t said any of that agaiiiinn!" Said me, hystericly

"But unfortunately, i never love him! Not a single feeling of my heart ever love him. I hate boys that only use their money and power to make them popular. I despise him! And so do i, i only use him to increase my popularity in school and to take revenge then dump him someday like he always do to girls!"

"What?" Said me, surprised. "Friends, don`t trust her, okay? You two know i would never think of that, right? What she`s saying is just a bullshit."

"HAHAHAHAHA!! Why so panicked if what i`ve said is just a bullshit? Or... Maybe it was true?"

"NOO! Go away!! Don`t talk like you know everything about me coz that`s all not true!!"

"And.. June.. June.. June. You are a dumb too, same like John. You have to admit that you have become popular is because of me. You have to thank me thousand of times i still want to be friends with you that are shy, ugly, thick glasses and those plaits hair? hahaha! You`ll never ever be popular without me. Just so you know, i want to be friends with you and still do is just because of your intelligent and.. you`re so-so pity! hahaha."

"No.. Please.. I beg you! Don`t said any of that again.." Said me, with watering eyes, almost crying.

"Hahaha, now you admit that what i`m saying is the fact? Aren`t you ashamed of yourself? How long will you keep deceiving yourself and the others?"

"No... I..." Said me weakly and have cried.

"Karen, you`re so cruel. I may act like i`m the king in school because of my father`s wealth, and i will admit that i`m a playboy and may not sensitive, don`t care about girl`s feelings at all and have made many girls cried because of me. But it`s all about my past. And as just you know, you`re the first woman that i really love after all this time. I love you so much. But if that`s the way you think, that you want to be my girlfriend just because to increase your popularity and dump me someday, it`s.. it`s okay, at least for now you still belongs to me." said John with calming smile in his face."

"I don`t...." said me, unable to talk anymore.

"So that`s the way you think of me as long as we`re friends, huh? You told me that i`m your bestfriend. You kept saying how you appreciate me because of my intelligent. How you said that i`m important. How you build my confident that i`m useful and make me thought that maybe a person like me still have something to give to the world. So, that`s a lie too, huh? You just want to take advantages on me, huh? How stupid of me that i thought you`re so kind like an angel who have a pure heart. And now i know, you`re an angel, but not from heaven but from hell!!" Said June with tears in her eyes, unable to control her emotion.

I can`t take it anymore. I couldn`t drop even any single word that i started to crying.

Suddenly, i realized the shadow of mary and john disappear.

"How is that? You deserve all of that. Do you understand now? How long you want to deceived people with your act? But don`t worry. This is just an illussion. I..." Said the other me, begin softly.

"Yes. I understand. You`re a part of me. A bad side of me which i don`t want to admit. I realize but this bad side will only embarasses me more so i decided to hide that feelings deep inside my heart and keep pretending to be a good girl. But now, you made me realize, i.. make many people hurt if i kept continued this act.. Good outside but bad inside. Pretending to be a good girl to make everyone like me but feel depressed inside." Said me with tears dropping from my eyes.

"Seems like you`ve already understand why i`m here.."

"So, i must be honest to myself because nobody is perfect, right? It`s okay to show them my bad sides and if they`re really my friend they must be understand that me too, the perfect girl in school have bad side too. I must change myself and the way i think. Thank you, me.. You make me realized." Said me with a smile.

RING*RING*RING

Huhhh! I woke up suddenly when i heard my alarm clock ringing. It`s already 6.00 AM. Time to wake up, take a bath and then go to school. I still remember clearly that dreams... I remember every part of it, what happened in that world. Yeah, a dream that looks like so real.

I recall anything happened and this morning i`ll change into the new me with huge smile and i promise i`ll be more honest to myself.

Thank you, me.. ^^

I HATE YOU SO MUCH, MOM!

2010-07-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

It seems like i`ll never match with her.

I`ve written this post that i hate her so much not only this time.

I`m tired of her.

I hate her.

But this time, i can`t deny that she looks like a CRAZY person which should be put in ASYLUM, not in a normal house, which contains only normal people!!!

It all started from this morning about 8 AM when i woke up because i heard a loud voice from bottom. I woke up and then i saw her talking with strange voice, not like her voice usually. It looks like she was possessed by some evil spirit.

I`m scared of her.

She said for herself that she is a devil, not a human.

She babbling many times that justice must be hold, about she is tired with human, about the times will come when people will know the truth, etc.

She even CACKLED "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" like a witch or bad people in the movie do.

Then, I asked my maid who was sweeping the floor outside my room in second floor about what`s going on.

And my maid told me that it seems like my mom asked my dad to give her a lot of money and when my dad asked what for? My mom suddenly acted like that.

My maid told me that i should stay in second floor and don`t come near her to stay out of the problem. But due to my curiosity about what`s going on, i get down the stairs to see what was happened.

And i saw her with her hands in the position to choke someone was shouting at my dad.

"TAKE THIS MONEY AGAIN! JUST TAKE IT AGAIN! I DON`T NEED IT!"

I`m afraid.

My dad, which i know must be tired of my mom and must be mad, still said patiently,

"You just said you need it, so just take it."'

And my dad left to the front left my mom babbling alone.

I saw money that become the subject in the table. Don`t know the ammount of it. But it sure a lot of money. When i take the money, just want to know the ammount of it, not willing to owned it, i looked her staring at me and said

"TAKE IT! IF YOU WANT TO TAKE IT, JUST TAKE IT!"

She glared at me and i`m afraid so i ran to the second floor and shout, "mbakkk... mbakkk" (in indonesian, because i dunno what the english is) and apparently she followed me.

I`m frightened of her. Seems like she`s a demon now.

*sounds like a horror movie, huh? But it`s the truth*

I search my maid in my room, but she wasn`t there. I heard a voice from the bath room. She must washing the bath room. Panicked, i pound the bath room`s door many times because it`s locked and my mom is getting close at me.

My maid opened the door and i covered near my maid till holding her hand, trembling.

My mom stared at me and said,

"TAKE THE MONEY! JUST TAKE IT!"

Then, she stared at my maid till repeating those lines.

I defend my maid by said, "Mom, just stop it!"

But she seems don`t care. She pull my maid`s hand till said, "Go to the bottom with me. Take the money on the table. Just take it."

I shouted at her again and my maid told me to be quiet.

I shout, "Mom, you seems like a demon if you acting that way"

Then, my mom glaring at me so i ran into my brother`s bedroom.

She followed me. Then she said, "Yes, you`re right. I`m a demon. HAHAHAHHAHAHAA"

I`m afraid of this pressure so i cry.

"Mom, you are a devil, not my mom anymore!"

She stared at me and almost choked my neck.

Although trembling and crying, i still shout "Mom, if you choked me, you will be covered in sin."

My mom cackled again and said,

"Heh. What do you know about sin? I don`t care. Let`s choked each other! (Ayo maen cekek-cekekan). HAHAHHAHAHAHA."

I ran into my maid again outside the room and my dad came.

After that, my dad pushed my mom to go to the bottom.

I heard voice

"I JUST GET MY RIGHT. HAHAHAHAHAHA"

And my maid calmly told me who was still crying to understand the situation and just shut up, just leave her alone and don`t said anything to her. Just leave her talking to herself.

And then, i heard the voice of car`s machine and i looked outside through the second floor

window that my dad have gone to work.

I wonder what happened about my mom then

I looked down again afterwards, only through the gaps on the floor and i see my mom have sure calmed down!!!!!

She already got the money and now she was sitting in the chair and be silent. Not talking anything anymore.

Looks like she`s not possessed anymore but still i`m afraid to go near her. I just looked at her from the stairs.

Oh, my..

So, all the things she does is only to get the money, that she considered is her right???????????

But you never act like a mom. You only asked for your right but you never do your responsibility as a mom.

I remembered she ever threatened my dad two times to kill herself if my dad won`t give her money.

And after dad give her money, she would calmed down like this.

Precisely like this.

How terrible are you, mom.

Just asked for money from dad. But you never help him work for money.

You just said that accepting money from dad is your right but you never do your job as a mom.

You never care about us, your children.

Just care about your problem and abandoned your children.

You never care about how are we, never care about our education, etc.

Okay, i`m tired of writing it.

I have written post like this in this blog more than once and i hate to repeat the story why i hate her.

I hate her.

I feel pity for my dad to marry such a woman like her and still could be patient not to divorce her as quickly as possible.

The reality is, my dad is tired of her too.

He ever told me that one reason that he hasn`t divorced my mom is, us, his children.

He think that it`s not good for a children to have a single parent so he hasn`t divorced her yet.

How could he be so patient meanwhile my mom is insolent???

It`s not fair.

But my mom wouldn`t understand because what she cares is only herself

****

What i write above is 100 % the truth and i`m not making up this story at all.

But what i write is not all the story only the summary of what`s going on today.

Ah, how could i have a mom like her, but it`s already my destiny.

I should be more patient.