Married to the Empire

Most Difficult Week

2012-01-24T15:41:00.000-06:00

This year hasn't gotten off to a great start. Last week was just plain awful. It started with a phone call on a Friday night at 11:30pm from my father-in-law. We immediately knew it was bad news. Steven's brother passed away unexpectedly. That was just plain shocking and horrifying. Then things got stressful, as people wanted different things for the funeral, and my husband and his siblings had to help mediate.

Next, Alex got his 4-month vaccinations at his check-up. (He's now 14 lbs. 7 oz. and 25.5 inches long.) He broke out in hives, which completely freaked me out. He spent the next 4 days lethargic, feverish, and cranky. Miserable for all of us, especially as he started waking up again in the middle of the night during that time.

And to top it all off, Doogie was diagnosed with cancer. On top of his kidney disease. I cried for hours after I got off the phone with the vet.

Sometimes life really does give us lemons.

But Alex is better now. Doogie stills runs around and gets into slap fights with Ninja. He's really not aware that he's sick, so we're hopeful that we'll have a decent amount of time left with him.

And through it all, God is faithful. If nothing else, we prayed more last week than usual, and that's never a bad thing.

Alex's Uncle Keith loved Batman. We expect Alex will, too.

Doogie and Ninja love to wrestle and fight

The Toxic Zone

2012-01-09T13:54:00.001-06:00

It's not news that our cats don't like the baby. They think he's loud and unpredictable, which are two qualities that cats detest. But I've been getting a laugh out of what we're now calling the Toxic Zone. Here it is:

It's nothing more than a quilt on the floor, but if you look to the upper left, you'll see a basket. We keep blankets in there, and Doogie likes to sleep in it. If he's in his basket, and I put Alex down on his quilt for tummy time, Doogie will hop out and run off. Every single time. Makes me laugh as I'm apologizing to the cat.

But what was even funnier was when I tossed a toy for Ninja (his beloved tab off a jug of milk). He was all excited and poised to race after it... until it landed on Alex's quilt. Ninja just sat there and stared. He wouldn't touch it! I picked it back up, tossed it further away, and Ninja took chase. That quilt is now associated 100% with That Screaming Thing, as we're pretty sure the cats think of him. They want nothing to do with it.

This doesn't bode well for future baby/kitty relations.

Alex's First Christmas

2011-12-26T15:29:00.000-06:00

Alex was absolutely clueless about his first Christmas, but we got some cute photos.

All dressed up for his first Christmas Eve service:

What you (thankfully) can't easily tell is that he was screaming his head off in the picture. I wanted a photo of us all dressed up, and he didn't want to cooperate. Steven took several pictures in an attempt to get one where he doesn't necessarily look as unhappy as he felt. (He was hungry. It was dinner time for him, but we had to get to church so I could practice my solo. We're mean like that. But don't worry; he was fed as soon as we arrived at church.)

Reindeer jammies given to him by one of our former youth:

A a few pics from his time at Grandma and Grandpa's house:

It was a nice day for Alex's parents, too, as my parents kept telling us to go take a nap. So we did! Sleep is the best gift you can give to new parents!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T14:02:00.001-06:00

I've had a few emails from folks, as I haven't updated my blog in two months. We're alive and well, just insanely busy. The few free moments I have each day are spent doing things like making dinner and making sure we don't live in squalor. Wow. I had no idea just how time-consuming babies truly are! But life is good. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T12:27:00.002-05:00

Diapers

2011-10-28T15:26:00.000-05:00

Even though we had no expectation (or even necessarily desire) of becoming pregnant, I'd read people's blog posts about cloth diapering with interest. (I'm weird like that.) So, when we found out we were pregnant, I decided we were going to cloth diaper. Steven wasn't too on board with that until we signed up for a registry at Babies R Us. When the clerk helping us spouted the statistic that babies go through approximately 3000 diapers in the first year, Steven saw the wisdom of cloth.

Whenever I mentioned to people that I planned to use cloth, I received a lot of negativity. A few friends were supportive, but most people seemed appalled. My youth group acted thoroughly grossed out. (What does that say about a generation that has been brought up with everything, including electronics, being basically disposable?) People seriously think using cloth is crazy. I don't get it. What's the big deal about washing diapers, especially seeing as I love doing laundry?

I chose a couple of different all-in-one diapers, and we're all set to use them. Just one problem: Alex isn't big enough yet!

He needs to gain a little more weight and get fatter legs!

It was painful to drop several hundred dollars at one time on diapers, but now that's looking downright cheap, seeing as the cloth diapers will last until potty training. In his first 5.5 weeks of life, I think we've spent nearly $100 on disposables! Now that's crazy!

One Month Down

2011-10-24T16:01:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was Alex's due date. Seeing how big he is now, coupled with the fact that I wasn't allowed an epidural during birth, I am so glad he came early! (Since he was healthy and all.)

This was taken on his one-month birthday:

Isn't that superhero sticker the cutest?! A friend gave us a stack of those at one of our showers. There's one for each month of his first year. Great way to track how much he's changing from month-to-month!

I'm also glad he came early because now we've got the first month behind us, and we're that much closer to the day he finally sleeps through the night! (I am way too old for this interrupted-sleep business!) Right now I do all nighttime feedings during the work week. Then Steven takes over on weekends. Let me tell you, I live for Friday nights now! Come Friday, I'm pretty punchy from the lack of sleep.

Steven and I originally planned to alternate Sundays while Alex is in his staying-home phase (doctor prescribed), meaning, Steven would go to church one Sunday, then I would go the next, and so on. Instead, my husband has been gracious enough to let me go every Sunday. He goes to work 5 days a week. I go nowhere, and he saw how much happier I was after that first Sunday of church. Isn't he great?

I attended my first music rehearsal in a couple of months last week, and I sang on the praise team again this past Sunday. I missed it so much! And it's funny how we can make plans, then they all fall apart to be remade into something else. I'd intended to finish out the month of September on stage, then drop out for the entire months of October and November. I was getting too hot on stage in pregnancy with the glaring lights. What happened instead is that Alex arrived 5 weeks early, and I didn't even get to finish out the month of September! And now I'm so ready to sing again, much earlier than I'd anticipated.

Speaking of singing, our little man loves music. We knew this even when he was in the womb. I'm not kidding when I say that there was at least one Sunday he was kicking in time with the music at church! He always became quite active whenever I sang, and that's served us well in his short little life outside of the womb. I can (usually) calm a crying fit with some singing. The cats appreciate that quite a bit!

It's been a challenging month for us, but mostly enjoyable. I'm constantly amazed at how much I, a non-baby person, actually love this little guy. I couldn't believe it when a strong feeling of possessiveness overtook me the other night when we were at the home of friends and people kept taking Alex from me.
I never understood why people always want to hold other people's babies, and frankly, I still don't get it, but I totally want to hold mine. (Good thing, huh?) But there I was, getting flustered inside because someone else wanted him. Go figure! The mothering instinct continues to surprise me daily.

Oh, and that swing he's sitting in for his pictures? My new best friend. I totally didn't want one because swings are just so big. But I broke down. We went to Kid-to-Kid and bought probably the largest one they had! And even though it's huge and totally doesn't go with my living room, it's been the best purchase so far. He loves it, and I finally was able to start doing basic things like cleaning house and cooking dinner.

Tenuous Peace

2011-10-06T13:04:00.002-05:00

When we found out we were expecting a baby, we started thinking about how the cats would react. We figured that Doogie, who has always been our skittish kitty, would be freaked out. We thought Ninja would be cool with it. Instead, the cats had the opposite reactions. When Steven brought the carrier in that first night home, Doogie walked right up to it, sniffed Alex, and seemed to shrug his shoulders and walk off. He's retained that attitude. The baby just doesn't interest him.

Ninja, on the other hand, has been terrified. He slinked up to the carrier in a fearful manner. He jumped at every little sound for the next two days. The baby monitor invoked more fear. His perfect little world was shattered by the presence of this new tiny person.

The crib tent we put up with Ninja in mind? Totally unnecessary. We'd feared he'd want to be in the crib with the baby. That's pretty much the last place he wants to be! And he no longer gets up on the changing table.

He actually smacked Alex in the head when I was feeding him. Thankfully, Alex didn't even flinch, which means Ninja didn't smack hard. He got a stern NO from me, and he hasn't tried it again.

I'm pretty sure that any time we take the baby out somewhere, Ninja is deeply disappointed when we return with him.

But there was the night I walked in on this:

It was a tenuous peace, but we'll take it.

Nursery Decor

2011-09-30T16:57:00.001-05:00

It took us until this week to get the nursery finished. Lots of things weren't done before Alex arrived unexpectedly early! But Steven is so pleased with it all (as am I), that he's been bugging me to put pictures up online. So here you go. While we didn't initially intend to have a theme, we went with a space theme after I found some fabulous artwork. The filler is framed scrapbook paper and a banner I made with his name.

The red picture above the banner is a bible verse: And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Doogie really likes the boppy.

The comment we keep getting is that it's not a babyish room, which is exactly what we were trying to achieve. We wanted a fun, bright room that he can grow into. I don't want to have to redecorate in a couple of years. We just hope he likes it as much as we do.

Welcome to the World, Matthew Alexander

2011-09-26T10:23:00.001-05:00

Last Monday I spent the morning shopping with gift cards received at my baby shower on Saturday, then I intended to write thank-you notes. But suddenly, something was wrong. I was dripping. In a panic, I called Steven to COME HOME RIGHT NOW, then called the doctor, who said to head to the hospital. I debated whether to call a friend to come get me, but I wasn't in pain, it was going to take friends at least 15 minutes to get to me, the hospital was 30 minutes away, and it was just starting Dallas rush hour.

So, I drove myself to the hospital. (In retrospect, that was probably dumb, but it is what it is.)

When I stepped out of my car, I was suddenly soaked. Thankfully, Steven keeps an emergency blanket in each car, so I grabbed that, wrapped it around myself, and walked into the hospital.

I was set up in a room in Labor and Delivery. Steven finally arrived. (Answered prayer, as he was coming from Dallas during rush hour, and it only took him an hour and 15 minutes, instead of the 2 or more hours I expected.) I believed (and still do) that my water had broken, but they sonogram they did on me said I had too much fluid for that to have happened. Contractions had started, but as I could talk through them, the med staff decided I wasn't really in labor, and they sent me home.

Now, you should know that this was 5 weeks before my due date. I hadn't packed a bag for the hospital, and in my haste to leave, I still didn't pack anything. We had to call friends who have a key to our house to go home and get me some clothes. You know you have a good friend when you can send her to your underwear drawer to bring you clean panties!

We were back at the hospital 2 hours later. Contractions had ramped up, and I was in pain. I spent an unpleasant night with no sleep, having contractions about every 3 minutes. But every time they checked me, I wasn't far enough along. The nurse came in at 7am to say that my doctor was sending me home again.

I started sobbing. And I do mean sobbing! I was in so much pain, and I couldn't fathom having to ride in the car for the 30 minutes it would take to get home. Then ride back to see my doctor, who was saying to stop in her office. (She hadn't been to see me in the hospital yet.) My nurse saw how bad things were, and Lord bless her, she fought for me. She came back a few minutes later and said I was being allowed to stay.

A less kindly nurse came on shift and said, "You have a very low tolerance for pain." Yeah, I know. It's not a defect, even if you have less respect for me because of it.

I was moved back to Labor and Delivery, and they put something through my IV bag that knocked me out, thankfully. But because I was sleeping through contractions, no one checked to see how far along I was until 6pm. (Don't even get me started!) There was more talk of sending me home with a prescription for Percocet, which I knew wouldn't do squat for me. The doctor was saying this could go on for days or weeks, and the prospect of that had both Steven and me panicked. But when someone finally checked me, I was dialated to an 8. My doctor seemed shocked. (*sigh*)

I started begging for an epidural, which I'd made clear from the start that I wanted. I was ticked that I'd gone all afternoon in agony when I could have had pain relief but no one could be bothered to check how far along I was. I pretty much decided that I hated my doctor at that moment. I wasn't liking her up until then, but my enmity grew after that. (No, it's not Christian of me, but it is human. I'm feeling a tad more forgiving now that it's over.)

My doctor informed me that because my platelets were so low, the anesthesiologist refused to do an epidural.

Yeah. Low pain tolerance, and I was being forced to give birth naturally. At that point, I hated everyone.

I'll spare the details, but Matthew Alexander was born finally at 8:08pm on Tuesday, September 20th. The NICU team was there to whisk him off to be checked out, as he was 5 weeks early, but praise God, he is 100% healthy!

I am so amazed at the Lord's faithfulness. This pregnancy was so hard and fraught with so many scares and complications, not to mention the fact that I was hitting this kid with migraine meds almost every single day of pregnancy. I've never prayed so hard in my life, as I did during pregnancy. And God protected my sweet baby boy through it all.

Everyone, meet Alex.

Nursery Name Banner

2011-09-15T22:44:00.000-05:00

We didn't really intend to have a theme in the nursery, but it sort of morphed into a space theme after I found some awesome spacey artwork. Even better, I found some great scrapbook paper that fit the theme, as well. To make wall decor affordable, we framed some of that scrapbook paper, and I also used some to make a name banner to hang above the crib.

I started with some chipboard banner pieces I bought at Stamp Asylum in Plano. (I'm a tad obsessed with that store.) Because all of our picture frames in the nursery are black, I didn't want brown borders on the banner. I bought some black distress stain and covered the edges of the chipboard.

Next, I made a template from cardstock and used it to trace onto scrapbook paper. (The robot paper is my husband's favorite.) I wouldn't ordinarily trace on the front of the paper, but I wanted to make sure everything was nice and straight with the designs. I then cut out the paper.

Next, I applied Mod Podge to the back of the paper and adhered it to the chipboard.

While all that was drying, I got out my handy-dandy Sizzix machine and cut out letters and stars.

Then I painted Mod Podge all over my cutouts and sprinkled liberally with glitter. I made a colossal mess in the process. Usually I love glitter, but today, I was hating it. Must be a pregnancy thing.

Also a pregnancy thing (or maybe it was just because I was too covered in glitter), I forgot to take any pictures of the next few steps. I Mod Podged all over the top of the banner pieces with the scrapbook paper adhered. Then I glued on all the glittery bits. Finally, I took it all out to the garage to spray everything with some clear sealer, as I don't want bits of glitter falling onto my baby.

With the banner pieces completed, I just needed to punch holes for the ribbon, then string it together.

Here's my super-simple secret for attaching bows to a banner and making loops for hanging. Tie bows, then flip them over and slip a twist tie through the back of it.

Next, make a loop in the hanging ribbon, and twist the twist tie around it. It makes a secure loop and keeps the bow attached to the ribbon.

Trim any ribbon ends you want, and voila! All done! Ready for hanging.

(Don't worry; it's only hanging on the crib for picture-taking purposes. It will go on the wall above the crib, with all strings safely out of reach of baby.)

I'm linking this post with Mod Podge Rocks, a very fun blog for Mod Podge projects. Be sure to visit there and take a look around. Lots of great stuff over there!

Baby Crafting

2011-09-13T16:47:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a lot of sewing for babies lately. (And I'm a bit burned out on it, to be honest.) My BFF from junior high school, whom I am still friends with, is due with a baby girl. Her due date is just one day after mine. What are the odds? I stitched up a few things to send to her.

Burp cloths:

A personalized, ruffle-butt onesie:

I won't lie; I think I just did an okay job on the onesie, not a great one. But at least my attempts at applique went from looking like a drunk monkey did them to looking like a sober monkey did them! Still, I went ahead and sent it because I still think it turned out cute, even if it's not perfect. (But I found myself glad that I'm expecting a boy because I would have had to make a ruffle-butt for my own child had he been a girl. And I didn't really enjoy sewing on ruffles. Other bloggers make it look and sound so easy, but I guess I'm just not talented enough to find it simple.)

An elephant pacifier holder (I'm most proud of this one):

I got the pattern from this book, which I checked out from the library. Lots of cute projects in it! This particular one called for using felt, but since this is for a baby, I used fleece instead. Fleece is washable; felt is not. I also made an elephant paci holder for my Alex. It was too cute not to! I had fabric leftover from this project, so it didn't even cost me anything, other than the pacifiers.

This next one didn't wind up being a gift. I just made it for my own baby. It's an elephant rattle:

I added 3 jingle bells inside the head (well surrounded by batting and tightly sewn in), so it makes a soft jingly sound that's not annoying. (The not-annoying part is very important to this migraine-prone mama!) I'm not thrilled with the placement of the handle, so I may still rip that out and resew it. We'll see. I'm pretty tired of sewing at this point, so I may just leave it.

And last but not least, my newest furry baby needed a little something. I sewed up a simple rectangle of fleece, stuffed it with batting and catnip, and added a ribbon (because Ninja loves ribbons). I think he likes it!

This Motherhood Thing

2011-09-07T15:23:00.000-05:00

It's so not for the faint of heart!

I had a regular OB appointment yesterday with plans to run errands afterwards. Things didn't work out that way.

When my OB pulled out the doppler thingy to listen to the baby's heartbeat, things weren't sounding right. Even I could tell immediately that something was wrong. His heartbeat was steady and rhythmic for a while, but it kept skipping beats. *boom boom boom skip boom boom boom skip* Then it just went all sorts of crazy-erratic with no rhythm whatsoever.

My doctor immediately sent me to the hospital with instructions not to worry. Uh, yeah. Right. Naturally, I was freaking out.

I contacted Steven, who left work right away to meet me at the hospital. I also quickly sent off an email to some close friends asking for prayer, as well as posting on Facebook. I have to say that I love this aspect of the technology age, because I had people all over the world praying for our baby within minutes!

I spent a couple of hours in the hospital hooked up to various things. The baby's heartbeat was still wonky, but everything else was fine, so I was eventually sent home. But I was told that my doctor wants me to go to the hospital for this testing twice a week until the baby is born. I go again on Friday. I was shaky from fear and hunger, so Steven and I went out for a much-needed late lunch after all that.

My OB called that afternoon to tell me that she set up an appointment for me with my high-risk OB, who said back in June that she didn't need to see me again. So much for that! So, Baby Alex had an echocardiogram this morning with her.

The glorious thing is that his heart was in perfect rhythm this morning! The high-risk OB couldn't find anything wrong with him. Thank you, Jesus! But I have a new worry: she said his umbilical cord is loosely wrapped around his neck. However, he was practically dancing in there while she was trying to examine him, and she said that as long as he's active like that, he's fine.

I asked a friend this morning how she survives motherhood. It's killing me so far, and he's not even out of my body yet! She said motherhood is the most wonderful thing, but it's often like having your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped all over. So far, I'm finding that to be true.

Preparation

2011-09-05T17:26:00.000-05:00

We painted the nursery last week.

It just about killed Ninja because kitties were locked out of the room during the process. He doesn't like to be left out, and closed doors with his people behind them drive him crazy! But we knew he'd be dancing in the paint trays if we let him in.

The next night we set up the furniture.

We also have a bookshelf and a chest of drawers in there. I'd like to move my rocking chair in there, too, but I'm not sure there's room for it. We still need to get stuff up on the walls, but it's coming together.

We put the room together just in time for our first baby shower. Steven's coworkers gave us a shower, and we were so blessed to receive some great gifts, including our stroller/carseat combo. We now feel semi-prepared, as baby Alex now has a bed (but no sheets), a carseat for riding safely in the car, and some other basic necessities. Notice the tent on the crib? We love our Ninja Cat, but we just don't trust him not to try to sleep with the baby. My dear BFF from junior high school, who is expecting a baby one day after me (crazy, huh?) sent us the tent, and we really appreciate it! The crib itself was also simply given to us. Free is good! It's amazing how generous people become when they hear you're having a baby.

The cats still don't understand that this is now the baby's room and no longer theirs.

Hey, Mom! We're starting to think you're a little bit crazy because we see no baby!

The shower at Steven's office had a Star Wars theme (not too shocking), and one of the artists photoshopped a picture of Steven to make this poster:

It absolutely cracks me up every time I see it! I think Steven is planning to hang it in his weight room, which is what the former Star Wars room became.

Baby? What Baby?

2011-08-24T13:51:00.000-05:00

There's really no good way to prep our cats for the arrival of a baby. They just don't have a clue. They are aware that my belly is getting bigger, but I don't think they get why. It's funny to watch them try to sit in my lap these days, as they realize there's less room, or if they want to be on me, there's this mound of belly that they have to navigate. There have been times that Doogie obviously wanted in my lap, and I was inviting him up, but he just kept staring at my belly suspiciously. And Ninja has fallen off my lap a few times when turning around. I thought it was because my lap shrank and took him by surprise, but then he fell off of Steven's lap, too. Our little Ninja isn't always so ninja-like.

We've been collecting necessary furniture and clearing out the guest room. The cat beds have been moved out, as well as the futon that Doogie liked to sleep on during the day. Doogie is still determined to sleep in that room, though, regardless of the fact that all of his beds are gone.

Ninja truly has no concept of the phrase, "That's for the baby, not you!"

"What do you mean this isn't a cat bed? It looks like one and feels like one. Besides, I see no baby (whatever that is) using it! It's MINE!"

"Burp cloth? What's a burp cloth? I just see it as soft, warm, and available, so it's mine!"

We suspect the baby's arrival is going to be quite the shock for our furry boys.

Latest Baby News

2011-08-23T12:34:00.001-05:00

I saw my OB yesterday for a check-up and a sonogram. I had Steven come with me for the first time (he went with me to see the high-risk OB the day we found out the gender, but he hadn't met my regular OB). Something my OB said last time made me think that she thinks he's an uninvolved father, which is just silly. I can't see any point in having him miss work just to accompany me to an appointment in which we chat, she measures my belly, and she listens to the heartbeat. But I didn't feel bad about asking him to come for a sonogram. And because he is involved, he had no problem saying yes. (Don't even ask me why I care what my OB thinks. It's probaby the hormones talking.)

After the frightening experience of my last sonogram, I was apprehensive about getting another one. The good news is that we were told everything looks normal! We came away with tons of pictures, which I would scan if we owned a scanner. Not that one can really tell, but the facial shots we have of him just look like a baby. We see no evidence of chromosomal abnormalities, so I'm hoping this means we have a perfectly healthy baby growing right now.

I was told that he measures approximately 4 lbs. 12 oz. right now, which sounds like a lot to me, as I'm only 31 weeks, but the doctor said it's fine. He's in the 83% range size-wise, which is healthy. Considering his weight right now, I'm surprised I've only gained 14 lbs. total. (Kind of hoping this means I'll be skinnier after I've had a baby! Even my rheumatologist mentioned that I appear to have lost weight in pregnancy. Go figure! If the baby wants to eat my fat, he's welcome to it! I just want him to stop eating my brain.)

We also received a third confirmation that he's a boy. So, I feel as if I can now confidently announce his name: Matthew Alexander. Matthew is after my father and grandfather. Alexander is just because Steven likes it. We'll call him Alex.

Boxes

2011-08-19T14:57:00.000-05:00

When you're a cat, life is way more fun when boxes are involved!

Homemade Burp Cloths with Thrifted Fabric

2011-08-10T12:46:00.000-05:00

A few months ago I went to the estate sale of a former crafter. It was advertised as such, and I wasn't disappointed. The master bedroom was filled with fabric, ribbon, thread, and other various crafting items. I came away with several full spools of ribbon, which I like to use on gifts--so much nicer than cheap wrapping ribbon. (And they make great hair ribbons for little girls afterwards or cat toys for the household felines.) I also left with four pieces of flannel fabric in solid and baby-ish prints. My plan was to make burp cloths with them. I spent a total of $4 for all the fabric.

As with most of my sewing projects, this went in stages. I started with washing the fabric right after I brought it home sometime in the spring. Then I didn't around to cutting it out until late June. I looked up online typical measurements for burp cloths, then made a cardstock template in that size. (I think it wound up being 10" x 18", but I really can't remember for sure.) I laid it out on the wrong side of the fabric and traced around it with a charcoal pencil.

I wound up cutting out twenty pieces total to make ten burp cloths. I used yellow fabric for the back of the burp cloths with the moons and stars, and white flannel for the back of the ones with puppies. I failed to take any photos of the rest of the process (which finally occurred this past week), but it was just pinning the fabric with right sides together and sewing all around the rectangle, leaving an opening big enough for my hand to fit through. Once that was done, I cut off the corners, then turned the fabric right side out. Then I sewed all around the edges to sew the hole closed and to give it a nice finished look.

I'm very pleased with how they turned out! They'll be great for our soon-to-arrive baby boy. I think I got a remarkable value out of my $4 spent on estate-sale fabric. The only bad thing is that I think the fabric had been sitting in her home for a few years and had been previously washed. I, of course, then washed it again when I brought it home. It doesn't look as new as I'd like, which means I won't be giving any of this batch as gifts. But I guess that works out because all the other pregnant women I know right now are having girls.

Baby Books

2011-08-05T12:21:00.000-05:00

I'm big on reading. (Obviously, as I have a degree in English and used to teach it.) I've been collecting board books for our baby here and there since finding out I'm pregnant. Mostly, it's been good stuff. But when I found this at Half-Price Books the other night, I had to get it:

I did first make sure that stormtroopers aren't in the book. Figured it's not a good idea to have our kid thinking that Daddy is a villain (even if he is).

Baby, It's HOT Outside!

2011-08-03T15:40:00.000-05:00

Unless you've been living under a rock, I suspect you know that Texas is hitting record temperatures. And we're in a drought. It's miserable, to be frank. The heat is making my pregnant body swell up. Doogie is no longer being allowed Mail Time each day. And even our whirly-twirly Ninja Cat is low on energy.

Common scenes from our house in this heat:

Too... hot. Can't... move. Must... lie... as if dead.

I looked out the window this morning and noticed a squirrel attached to an oak tree. He was upside down with his belly pressed up against the trunk. He appeared to be sleeping in that position. Guess that was a cool spot or something.

I started feeding the birds again. I gave that up when Calvin got so sick. I needed to cut animal expenses somewhere, and I certainly wasn't going to cut Calvin's care. The birds have been back at the feeder in force. I felt sorry for them, though, as any time I drove down the alley, I'd see them playing in whatever tiny puddles of water collected there from people's watering run-off. So, we bought a bird bath on Friday. I'm faithfully refilling it every morning. I finally had success with it yesterday afternoon.

(Please excuse the lack of clarity. I had to take the photo through a dirty window. I'd wash my windows, but it's too hot.)

As for me, I'm having to get things accomplished in small spurts. Run errands in the morning only. Do some work, then lie on the couch with my (swollen) feet up. Lather, rinse, repeat.

We (very expensively) replaced our air conditioning system last summer. Never have I been so grateful for that expense as I am this year! I'm generally a cold-natured person, but pregnancy has changed that. I'm not even sleeping with any covers over me lately. Our awesome, new, efficient AC system can't even keep up with the heat. (Record high of 110 yesterday!) When it was 11pm, and it still couldn't get below 80 degrees (it's set at 79), we just decided to bump the setting up to 80. No reason to force the system to run all night over a 1-degree difference. But during the day? I've got it back to 79 and running non-stop. Ordinarily, I'd be more energy-conscious, but this summer, in my pregnant and swollen state, I don't even care if our electric bill is $500! (Okay, I'd probably care a little if it actually got that high, but I'm miserable.)

At least I'm not covered in fur.

What you can't see is that Doogie is fully stretched out under the ceiling fan, trying to get some relief

Youth Group Puppet Workshop at Dallas Life

2011-08-01T17:13:00.000-05:00

Our church has a puppet ministry that some of our youth are involved in. On Saturday, we took our puppet team, plus a few extra volunteers to Dallas Life, which is a homeless ministry in south Dallas. The agenda for the afternoon was to perform a puppet show for the kids, have them make their own puppets, then they'd learn how to perform with their puppets.

I found some fabulous puppet templates at this site. I figured it would be easiest to have templates available for making specific puppets, although the kids were certainly free to make whatever creative puppets they could come up with on their own. I made some mock-ups to bring along, so they could see what they would look like finished.

The cat and the owl were my personal favorites, but the kids immediately gravitated towards the lion. We ran out of lion templates in the first 10 minutes! Making puppets kept the kids occupied for a good hour.

A few of the children's creations:

The kids then gathered in front of the puppet stage to watch a show:

Then, the kids went in small groups to perform with their own puppets. (If I never hear the Veggie Tales' "Oh Where Is My Hairbrush" again, it will be too soon.)

I won't lie. It was an exhausting afternoon, and I didn't even do all that much! (Swollen from heat + pregnancy, so I sat much of the time with my feet up, although I did help a kid cut stuff out. I also pulled out my teacher voice at one point when the kiddos wouldn't be still or quiet for their peers' performance. They actually listened to me. Still got it! Oh, and I became the bathroom lady who took kids to the bathroom. That's a new one for me!) It was a rewarding afternoon, though. The kids seemed to have a good time, their parents got a little time off to do whatever they needed/wanted to do that afternoon, and our students enjoyed the opportunity to share the Lord and do outreach among the less fortunate in our area. Totally worth it!

A Crafting Success and a Bit of a Fail

2011-07-27T11:41:00.000-05:00

I have a fabulous book called The Complete Photo Guide to Ribbon Crafts. It's a really great resource for making all sorts of things out of ribbon. I tried one of the jewelry crafts out of it this weekend, and it was a total success! All it takes is a piece of ribbon, some beads, needle, and thread. It's totally customizable, as you can make it any length you want and use any size beads and ribbon.

I wore it to church on Sunday and received several compliments. I know something is a success when other people like it!

The fail was in my attempt to dye pearls with a natural dye--in my case, red onion skins. Martha Stewart has a really great project for dyeing pearls with Rit Dye, but I found a thing online listing ways to do it with natural materials. I opted to try red onions because I didn't particularly want to go out and buy bottles of dye. That was just me being ~~cheap~~ thrifty.

Back in my bridesmaid days, it seems like the brides were always giving strings of pearls to me to wear in the wedding. They've all just sat in my jewelry box ever since because I'm an admitted jewelry snob who would rather wear my real pearls. I decided to put these fakes to use by attempting to dye them and use them in new pieces of jewelry. Part of crafting is finding new uses for old things, after all!

Well, here's the thing. Martha Stewart's instructions call for glass pearls. I assume you really need glass pearls for the natural dyes, too. But I have no idea what these fake pearls are made of. I was just experimenting.

Pearls placed in double boiler

Red onion skins added to make a nice purplish dye

The pearls didn't seem to be taking the dye in a timely manner, so I let them sit overnight. And this is the end result:

The bracelet I threw in didn't really pick up any color at all. (And bits of the beads are flaking off now.) The necklace took on a greenish-yellow tint. It's actually not a terrible color, but against my skin tone, it will make me look sick. Now, I could probably make a necklace out of it like the turquoise one in the first picture, but I would definitely have to give it to someone who doesn't have my fair, pink skin tone.

Bit of a craft fail? Yes. But I did enjoy trying it out, and I wasn't out any money for it, which is a good thing.

Trusting God Through Pregnancy

2011-07-25T14:58:00.000-05:00

Psalm 62:1-2
Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

The above has been my cling-to passage in pregnancy. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, which is probably normal, but I've had more worries than the average woman. Being of advanced maternal age and having various health problems has turned pregnancy into something of an emergency. I had to see a high-risk OB for a while, and my specialists are freaking out about various things. My rheumatologist recently ran all the Lupus panels on me again, and instead of seeing me once a year, I'm now seeing him monthly.

And yet, I mostly feel fine.

My last visit with the high-risk OB had me leaving in tears. The nice thing is that she always did a sonogram at every single visit. The bad thing is, she always did a sonogram. With lots of measurements. My last visit took forever because she was examining the baby and doing measurements for a very long time. Finally, I was told that everything looked fine, except his nuchal fold measured too big. That could indicate chromosomal abnormalities. Then I was told she didn't need to see me anymore, please call after I have the baby to let her know how things turn out, try not to worry, and nice to meet me.

I really hate to cry in front of people. I mean, I hate it. But there I was, sitting on the exam table, sucking back tears because I knew I had to walk through the waiting room full of other expectant couples. Then down the hall, to the elevator, and eventually through the hospital's main entrance. I mostly held it together until I got to my car, where I let loose with wracking sobs I couldn't control. I remember screaming at God, "WHY?!" And I'll even confess to telling him the utter unfairness of giving my sister 4 healthy children, and then giving me, the girl who was perfectly happy without kids, a messed-up one.

Because, of course, my mind had already gone to the surety that my baby isn't perfect.

My husband has been my rock throughout all of this. He didn't jump to the conclusions that I did when I phoned him, then couldn't even talk for the first few minutes. After I explained the situation, he reminded me of something I'd just told him, but hadn't paid a lick of attention to: the nuchal fold measured just fine a month earlier. The doctor had said that. Babies don't suddenly develop chromosomal abnormalities; they start out that way. So it was probably just a fluke. But even if it wasn't, we'd still love this baby just as much.

I really, really love that man. Thirteen years of marriage, and it just gets better and better.

It also helps that friends started telling me their own stories of bad sonogram readings, then all was fine when baby was born. I desperately needed to hear that.

Thing is, I'm scared. I'm scared of everything having to do with having babies. I'm not a baby person. At all. If you have a baby, truthfully, I don't want to hold it. It's not personal; I'm just not interested. I don't care if people judge me for that. I'm being honest. Yet here I am, having a baby of my own. This little, helpless person is being given to me. And he's a gift. I know in my heart that he's a gift from God. I have high hopes for this little person, and I'm so scared of screwing things up. I already harbor incredible guilt that I have to take migraine meds every single day. I've never truly been angry with God, but that... that sent me over the edge, with pleading to him, begging him to take the pain away so I wouldn't risk damaging this small child inside me.

God has chosen not to answer that prayer. I don't know why. And I finally came to that point that I just have to trust him. For everything. He knows I need my meds and can't function through the pain without them. So I have to simply believe that he'll protect this child within me. And if he doesn't, well, I won't understand it, but I'll know that somehow it was part of his plan. Same for if our son turns out to have chromosomal abnormalities. His plan is always good, even when we can't see far enough ahead to know it for ourselves.

But I won't lie. Trusting God is really, really hard sometimes. However, when you're at that helpless state where there's nothing you can do but worry or trust, trust is always the better, the somewhat-easier option.

The latest health scare is the potential for gestational diabetes. I failed the glucose screening by a mere 3 points. I went in this morning for the 3-hour fasting test, then was sent home after things had gotten started because all the glucose drinks were expired. Every single one. *sigh* It's never easy. But again, I just have to believe that whatever the outcome, God will lead me through it.

More Clearing Out: Sadness

2011-07-20T16:46:00.000-05:00

Once I got the closets done last week, I took a break from cleaning. At this point, I really need Steven's assistance to go any further. (Meaning, I didn't touch any of his stuff last week.) But I'm still tossing stuff here and there when I run across it.

I didn't expect the tears that came when I pulled this from the bottom of my laundry basket:

It's the cover of Calvin's first (and favorite) bed. The bed itself was tossed several months ago after he'd peed on it, and it couldn't be salvaged, but I'd washed the cover, then it got buried in my laundry basket. I think the tears fell because I knew I'd be throwing it away. It wouldn't have hurt me if I'd thrown it away while he was still alive, but now that he's gone, I feel as if I'm trashing a piece of him. I know that's probably all kinds of silly, but emotions are funny things.

I'm thinking I may cut a piece of it to put in his scrapbook.

Clearing Out: Success!

2011-07-15T19:17:00.000-05:00

If only I'd thought to take "before" pictures.

The guest room closet once contained:

Gifts to be given
Boxes and packaging for gifts and mailings
Overflow linens
Costumes
Letterman jackets
Games
Halloween decor
General junk

It now looks like this:

I'm left with empty hangers, empty plastic shelving, a laundry basket, and 3 stuffed animals. My ancient and well-loved Cookie Monster and the Bunny my aunt made when I was probably 2 years old will become the baby's. The stuffed turtle (that you probably can't really see) is still mine. I use it on car trips behind my back. Weird, I know, but it helps with pain.

So where did everything go? This took movement between 4 closets. Here's the breakdown:

Steven's and my letter jackets are now in the master closet. My sister's jackets are at my mom's house.
The overflow linens from the guest closet are now in space bags in the master closet. I also moved the sheets for our bed from the linen closet into the master.
All Halloween decor, which was in both the guest and linen closets, is now in the master.
Steven's costumes are now in the closet in the weight room (former Star Wars room). My costumes (all 2 of them) are in the master, hanging with my dresses.
The games are now in the linen closet.
I moved all medications and such from the linen closet to the master. This helped create room in that closet for the baby's sheets and stuff, and also put meds in a more child-safe area.
Gifts and packaging are all in the craft room closet.

The craft room closet got a major overhaul and cleaning out during this process. I didn't realize just how much extra space I had in there!

I took 5 bags and 1 big box of junk to Christian Community Action. I'm still collecting more, I'm sure, as I still need to go through the guest room itself. I'll need to move the cats' beds out of the guest room and into the weight room so they'll get used to sleeping elsewhere. (That might be hard for Doogie, as he's spent 12 years sleeping in the guest room!)

There's still a ton to do, but this was the worst of it, I think. We've already received several gifts for the baby, and I've had no place to put them. Now I have an empty closet just waiting for his things. Being able to move stuff in there is a tremendous help when it comes to cleaning up the guest room in order to turn it into a nursery. Living childless in a house for 12 years makes for some colossal shifting of stuff when Baby comes along!

I can hardly wait to show my husband how much I've done in his week away. He comes home from camp tomorrow!