The Years are Short

Full Februrary

2015-03-07T15:35:00.001-08:00

February started out with tons of excitement and a huge let down. Our favorite team and family entertainment, the Seahawks, made it to the Super Bowl. We gathered with our "Framily" . . . our great neighbor friends that have become more like family . . . and cheered, clapped, enjoyed food, couldn't believe all the excitement and then literally collapsed on the floor at the devastating last minute loss. It was NOT the outcome we were hoping for.

Hannah decided in honor of the big game, she'd make a cake from scratch. It was quite time intensive as we learned the valuable lesson of checking for all ingredients before undertaking a big project. There were quite a lot of starting and stopping but the end result was quite delicious.

And in case you can't read the personalized lettering, it says, "Go Hawks!" (I'll refrain from mentioning how much bright Seahawks colored homemade frosting got all over my kitchen . . . )

Football season ended and we decided as a family to give up TV. It was partially a financial decision as our bill was crazy (is it just me or are cable companies a racket?!) and partially a family decision to spend more time just hanging out . . . reading, playing games, playing instruments (we're getting quite a collection around here with both girls playing piano, Haley playing violin, Hannah playing trumpet, Travis working on the guitar, me with the viola, and the new electric drum set we got for Christmas). The girls have particularly liked a "rap night" we had - a lot of ridiculous going on!! It's surprising been easier than we thought and quite a lot of fun.

One of my favorite little people in the world has been studying hard to have deep literary discussions with his "Hattie" . . .

And although he is attempting to branch out from "Mr. Brown can Moo," he's falling deeper in love with Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse and I love getting pictures of his "mouserbooty."

For the first time ever, Travis is assistant coaching wrestling this year. I told him in all honesty that for the last 15 years, I have made an effort to attend at least one game of each of the teams and sports and seasons he's coached but I would NOT be coming to watch a wrestling match/meet/game (still don't know what it's called?!). Well the stars aligned and they happened to be having a match/meet/game (whatever!!) at Hannah's middle school and the timing fit in right between two other commitments we had in the same area so we went. All the way there the girls expressed how much they didn't want to be going. Haley said it was going to be too bloody and she didn't want to see people punching each other. I informed her they were not allowed to punch and aside from the occasional bloody nose, it's not a bloody sport - it's like when Dad tackles you. I also told them how much I didn't want to be going either but as a family we support each other and we were going for Dad and blah blah blah. So we went . . . and don't tell anyone . . . but it was a ton of crazy fun and excitement! We were literally holding our breath watching these guys put their heart and soul into each match/meet/pairing/competition/thingy . . . and the refs have to practically lay on the floor to check contact and pinning . . . and the exhilaration they felt when they succeeded in winning . . . and the disappointment they felt when they tried so hard and at the last minute got flipped with some crazy move you weren't expecting. Anyhoo - we didn't want to leave! I had to eat some crow . . .

Over the Valentine's Day/Presidents' Day holiday weekend, we headed up to Birch Bay for a mini-vacation thanks to the generosity of the Marsh family. We spent four days playing games, reading, swimming in the 80 degree outdoor pool, and walking the beach. The kids found shells, watched an eagle catch a fish and a swarm of seagulls try to get it away, climbed on drift wood, jumped the waves until their boots were full of salt water and sand and enjoyed the fresh air.

And of course the cozy nights by the fire with some tea (or cocoa) were quite lovely . . . and silly!

We got to visit Auntie a few times while we were there as she works at Starbucks only 15mins from where we were staying. In honor of Valentine's Day, they had some fun props to take pictures with.

We returned home and my lovely compromised immune system picked up a sinus infection while we were gone so along with some more antibiotics, I got some cough drops, tissues, and tea . . . this was the ironic message on the tea bag . . .

I had the incredible opportunity to attend another Beth Moore conference in Seattle with some great ladies. It was a time of laughter, learning and a much needed filling of the tank.

And last but not least, I had a great mother of the year award experience. I took the girls to the library to find some books for the weekend. We spent almost an hour together choosing books to read alone, together, listen to on CD, placing holds on the computer to pick up later, finding things that will work for school projects etc. When we went to check out our books, we discovered there was one book that was over-due blocking our account. I knew right where it was and as the library is only 10 minutes away from home, I told the girls we'd jump in the car real quick allowing us to check out our selections.

At this point, they plead their case to stay alone. I know if I do my job well, I'm training them to successfully leave the nest . . . but it is hard to start letting them go. My instant reaction was, "NO - they are way to little, a million things could happen, there's no way!!" Then I began to look around at our tiny little library full of students, other families and a gaggle of librarians. And when I say our library is tiny, it's tiny. There are literally 10 or so rows of shelves, a kids section and a teen section on the other side. And, our house is 10 mins away. It was the perfect opportunity to trial run a little safe separation. I gave them a thousand instructions on what to do if they needed help, where they had to stay (only in the tiny, well contained, well monitored kid section), and how long I'd be gone. Haley reassured me that Hannah could just pretend to be her mom and they'd be fine! With much trepidation, anxiety and prayer, away I went.

I drove way to fast, stressed way to much and even checked in with Travis to reassure myself I wasn't a horrible person. He reassured me that they are 9 and 11, our tiny local library is a safe place and I'd be back before they had time to finish two books. I made it home (in under 10 mins - don't tell our local law enforcement), found the book in a snap and headed right back. I finally felt my shoulders relax and the small victory as a parent in letting go in a safe scenario . . . when my phone rang. It was Hannah. She said, "Mom, the library is closing in 5 mins." I was instantly thrown back into a dither, reassured her in the calmest voice I could muster that I'd be right there and hit the gas (in a very safe way . . .) What I didn't remember, was that on Friday, they close 4 hours earlier than the other days of the week. (Again - small town tiny library.)

Needless to say, I got there as they were locking the doors, had to smile and mouth that my children were still inside to the not-pleased-to-have-children-left-in-the-library librarian and face the gauntlet of small town library ladies ready to go home. I said grateful things like, "Ok ladies - let's hurry and check out our books as these ladies were kind enough to let us finish" . . . etc. blah blah . . . as I was given the stink eye and one of the women literally stood looking with her arms crossed. Like I didn't feel bad enough!!! The ONE time I leave them . . . and ONE time I start to let go . . . of course this happened!!!!! There was finally one of the women who gave me a little knowing smile and so I guiltily started spilling my guts about how this was the first time I left them like this and I was trying to come back as soon as I could and I didn't mean to leave them and I'm so sorry and I'd never do it again and I talked way to much and way to fast until she smiled again and reassured me that they "never leave anybody at the library." Needless to say, I'll probably never leave them any where again for the next 10 years or so!

February was a short month on the calendar but a full month (like most are) if you stop and pay attention to the little things (and the big things) that fill each day. We're continuing to learn and trying to focus on noticing and appreciating those little things. It's finding that one rock on the beach that looks like a heart. It's pointing out the irony of the tea bag message. It's being able to laugh at myself and the ridiculous library experience. And it's the willingness to share and record all these little things so in the days, weeks, months and years to come, we can look back as a family and remember just what each one of these fast fleeting moments were like.

HOT DOG I'm frustrated!

2015-01-29T20:07:00.000-08:00

I read once that it's ok not to be ok . . . but only for a little while.

I'm not ok. Alright - I'm ok in the sense that I'm here at home and breathing and have a wonderful family all around me and friends that put up with me. But I'm sick of the rinse - wash - repeat of this asthmatic story so I'm currently in a place of frustration. After 12 weeks of tapering painfully slow (one mg a week), I was told yesterday that I had to jack back up and start all over again in a few weeks. I know - I know . . . this drug is what allows me to be at home and breath and be surround by my wonderful family and enjoy my friends that put up with me. But today, it doesn't feel like its normal medicine I'm taking . . . it feels like I've been prescribed . . .

And I could only dream of taking a measly 5 mg . . . This is what greets me each morning . . .

And I have another great looking handful to take at night. Yes . . . I am having a pity party for myself. (I'll give you a minute to feel bad too . . . . ) Ok - minute over. And my narcissistic need to whine about my "drama" is nearly over as well. There are sooo many bigger problems out there in the world. I know that I could play the glad game and find thousands of things to be thankful for. But today - I wallowed. And was ok with wallowing. But I know it's not good to wallow for long. It's time to pull up my big girl undies and get back in the game. And a couple pictures of this little guy today didn't hurt . . .

(He is in loooove with Mickey Mouse clubhouse and beams from ear to ear when you say "Oh toodles!" or sing the "Hot Dog" song . . . we have some good chats over the phone!)

In conclusion, I'm going to be ok that I'm not ok . . . but tomorrow I'm going to have a good final cry, rant, and moan session with a long time friend over coffee. Then I'm going to pick myself up and start again. It is all I can do. I cannot give up, so I must carry on again. (How's that for over dramatic?!) We all do it, and we will all continue to do it. After all, in the words of Mickey Mouse,

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
Now we got ears, it's time for cheers

Hot dog, hot dog, the problem's solved
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog

Thanks Mickey for solving all life's problems!!

January in Review

2015-01-28T16:06:00.002-08:00

This month has been fairly dominated by our favorite local football team and their exciting road to the Super Bowl . . .

We CANNOT wait to cheer and jump and holler this Sunday!! And although our thoughts and attire and excitement has been football centered, we've had all kinds of other things happen this month.

Haley and I got to go to the local children's theater on a field trip to see Frindle - a play about a boy who invents a new word.

Although it wasn't the most life changing story/production ever, it was great to be with my little girl experiencing it together. And it's always a personal victory when I am physically able to do something outside the house.

On the 16th I had a bronchial procedure in hopes of finding a possible explanation to all the asthma flares I have been having. When they were checking me in, at the exact same time, they were struggling to put in an IV (as I was forbidden to drink from midnight the night before and was dehydrated), they were checking my blood pressure with the tightest blood pressure cuff ever, the nurse shoved the thermometer in my mouth, and the person being prepped in the room next door started singing some loud song about his "spank line." When we asked the nurse what a spank line was, she made the funniest face and said, "I don't want to know!" For the actual procedure, they went down (much like an endoscopy), took a sample of tissue in my lungs and then flushed it hoping to clear things out. They were looking for a form of tuberculosis (that sounds exciting) which they didn't find (a bit disappointing as it may have been a long term solution to this asthmatic mayhem) but they did discover that I had pneumonia (the predinisone masks symptoms of infections) and immediately put me on a crazy heavy duty antibiotic three times a day. So - in summary - although we didn't find a larger solution to this ever frustrating problem, we probably prevented/avoided another long hospital stay by stopping a huge problem before it worsened. (PS - I thought perhaps my throat would be sore a day or so after - my chest and lungs and diaphragm claimed some serious credit in the pain department . . . good times)

While recovering, I got some great pictures of this busy little guy . . .

Melissa said in the middle picture he was trying to figure out how to call his auntie!! And he is becoming oh so helpful at home . . .

The elementary school hosted a family Bingo night. Haley had a great time hanging with her best buddy Maddie.

And they both even got a Bingo and picked matching jump ropes for their prizes!

A famous jazz group (Tower of Power) invited the MP and Totem jazz bands to a special day with them in Seattle. Because Travis is good friends with the band teacher at Totem, he was able to go and take Hannah with him. They both came home super excited and Hannah was even more "jazzed" about playing the trumpet. (pardon the ridiculous pun - that's just plain embarassing)

And last but not least, Grandma Merry took the girls to see Mary Poppins at a local theater. They had a wonderful time even watching the actress fly right over their seats!

While they were gone, Travis and I took advantage of a date night and went out to dinner. I can't say enough how nice it is to have an open line of communication and a spouse I actually enjoy spending time with. We have been through the ringer and having a steady partner by my side makes it all ok.

January is commonly known as a time of new beginnings but I think everyday is a chance for a new beginning. You always have a choice as to how you will face the day. You have a choice how you will interact with the people around you. You have a choice as to what you will focus on and how you will respond to the things that come in your way. I don't always make the right choice. But thankfully, tomorrow is a new day filled with new choices.

Books Read in 2014

2015-01-27T16:42:00.000-08:00

I love to read. And each year I keep track of the books I've read. Part of it is because I'm OCD and keeping list is actually entertaining to me. Part of it is because I read so many books I forget sometimes if I've read a book or not. Part of it is because I set a goal (for no reason except the fun of it) to read 100 books in a year. And part of it is because I like to blog the list for all posterity - maybe you need a good book recommendation?

This year I read 73. Next to each book, I've written a yes/no/maybe as to whether I'd read again or recommend along with a quick synopsis. OCD remember? I'm also a book tabber . . . I'm not sure if that's a thing but it is now. I keep a little sticky tabby thing right next to my bed and if I read something that strikes me as funny or thought provoking or interesting, I tab it and when I've finished reading the book, copy the quote in a little notebook/journal. This year I thought it might be fun if I added a few quotes to the list of books. So . . . drum-roll . . . books read in 2014.

1. This Is Not The Story You Think It Is by Laura Munson - true story of a woman faced with husband's declaration at the beginning of the summer that he is not happy and wants to leave sets her on the path of self discovery when she refuses to give up (YES)

2. Death Be Not Proud by C.F. Dunn - second in secret journal series in which Emma discovers Matthew has not aged for hundreds of years. (yes)

3. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp - true story of a woman challenged to write one thousand of the little daily blessings and is completely transformed (YES!!!)
"Sometimes you don't know when you're taking the first step through a door until you're already inside . . . they are just common things and maybe I don't even know they are gifts really until I write them down and that is really what they look like." (pg. 42)
"Feel thanks and it's absolutely impossible to feel angry. We can only experience one emotion a a time. And we get to choose - which emotion do we want to feel?" (pg. 136)
"Years of Christian discipleship, Bible study, church going had been about me thinking about God; practicing eucharisteo (the practice of giving thanks) was the very first time I had really considered at length what God thought of me." (pg. 205)

4. Deep by Susanna Vance - young girl is kidnapped and taken to a Caribbean island while another young girl sails the seas along (yes)

5. Attachments by Rainbow Rowell - an IT guys falls in love with a woman while reading her emails (maybe)

6. 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jan Hatmaker - one of the funniest women I have ever read decides to address 7 areas in their life by pairing down (YES!!!) - and there are WAAAY to many quotes and stories that I tabbed and cracked up - you must must must read this book!
"There is something so nourishing about sharing your living space with people where they see your junk-mail pile and pee wee football schedule on the fridge and pile of shoes by the front door. Opening your home says 'You are welcome to my real life.' This square footage is where we laugh and hold family meetings and make homemade corn dogs and work through melt downs. Here is the railing our kids pulled out of the wall. This is the toilet paper we prefer to use. There are the pictures we frame, the books we're reading, the projects we're undertaking - the raw material of our family. It's unsanitized and truthful. We invite you into this intimate place, saturated with our family character." (pg. 176)

7. I Loved You All by Paul Sharp - two sisters go through the summer with their mom in treatment and a religious fanatic of a neighbor (no)

8. State of Wonder by Ann Patchett - scientist goes into the Amazon after hearing her co-worker died while in the field (maybe)

9. An Invisible Thread by Laura Schroff - true story of an ad executive who passes by an 11 year old panhandler in NY and then turns back around to offer lunch at McDonalds and starts a life long mentor-ship/friendship in which they both learn a lot about life (YES!!)

10. A Simple Thing by Kathleen McCleary - a mom worried about the fast paced life and the affect it was having on her kids up and moves to an island for a year (after reading it, it inspired a super fun "no technology day at our house) (yes)

11. Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore - probably the third time I've read this book - through sharing her journey, this amazing book focuses on God's ability to plant your feet on solid rock (YES!!!)
"Don't let up when you are feeling better. Feeling better is not what we're after. The goal is freedom from the pit for the rest of your life." (pg. 205)

12. Swamplandia by Karen Russell - after the death of their mother, a family attempts to save their reptile themed island in their own ways. (NO)

13. The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman - a couple who live alone on an island in Australia as light house keepers have a baby wash up on shore and decide to keep her as their own. (maybe)

14. The Body Book by Nancy Rue - read for Hannah - about growing up and body changes from God's perspective. (yes)

15. Growing Up Duggar: It's All About Relationships by Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger (YES)
"Contentment is realizing that God has provided everything we need for our present happiness. Another key is recognizing the 'unchangeable' things in our life and choosing to live joyfully." (pg. 10)
"We all consider our home to be a ministry center that God has given us to use as a place where we can encourage others spiritually and enjoy special times of fellowship." (pg. 230)

16. Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker - the journey of a pastor's wife as she becomes convicted of our failings as a church - we need to stop doing church and be church (YES!!) - this book messed with my head and completely flipped things around - I've passed it on more times then I can count. A must must must read.

17. Why Shoot a Butler by Georgetter Heyer - a silly murder mystery written in 1933 (yes)

18. Things Pondered by Beth Moore - short stories and poems written about all stages of her life (yes)

19. The Very Picture of You by Isabel Wolff - a portrait painter falls in love with a subject who happens to be her future brother-in-law (yes)

20. Range of Motion by Elizabeth Berg - mom of two young children tries to survive while her husband is in a coma (yes)
"She is turning into herself in these little ways. She is like stepping into the garden everyday when you know something is new, different from the day before. That's how children are, growing up in front of you the way they do. Sometimes its a barely noticeable thing, like a stem that's slightly taller. Sometimes it's a blossom that's burst forth obvious as a Vegas show girl. Wow - you think. I'd better not miss a day. I'd better be here." (pg. 87)
"My children love taking medicine, even when it tastes terrible. It's very unusual. I worry about it. They probably can't wait to grow up and be hypochondriacs." (pg. 163)

21. Also Known as Harper by Ann Haywood Leal - a single mom tries to keep her little family together while her older daughter finds solice in writing poems (maybe)

22. The Other Half of My Heart by Sundee Frazier - twins born - one white and one black - face their differences and similarities while competing in a pageant in the south (maybe)

23. The Missing Rose by Serdar Ozkan - upon her mothers death, Diana learns she has a twin and embarks on a journey to discover what was really herself (no)

24. Table for Seven by Whitney Gaskell - a monthly dinner club goes through lots of emotional and relational ups and downs - fluffy summer read (maybe)

25. Elephant in the Garden by Michael Morpugo - old woman tells story of escaping Germany with her mom, brother, American soldier and an elephant (yes - and let Hannah read it when I was finished)

26. Flying by the Seat of My Pants by Marsha Marks - hilarious true stories of a women's career as a flight attendant (yes)

27. Until the Real Thing Comes Along by Elizabeth Berg - tired of waiting for marriage a women becomes pregnant by her long time friend (no)

28. Writing the Memoir by Judith Barrington - a college course in the ins and outs along with some writing exercises I can't wait to start (yes) - I've had a life long dream to be an author since I was a little girl - now, in a time of sitting and being asthmatic, is a great time to start no?!
"Rather than simply telling a story from her life, the memoirist both tells a story and muses upon it trying to unravel what it means in the light of her current knowledge." (pg. 20)

29. Open House by Elizabeth Berg - after her husband leaves her, a woman must rediscover what life and love really mean (maybe)

30. Patty Jane's House of Curl by Lorna Landvik - two sisters and their lives together with husbands, finances, a daughter and lots and lots of ups and downs all held together and surrounded by their in-home beauty shop (maybe)
"Remember Mom. I'm just a child!" "We all are hon. Some of us are just taller." (pg. 2)
"She liked to see the progress of time's march and felt an affinity with each day as she stood before the calendar with a black crayon; yes I spent you, you existed for me, thank you." (pg. 117)

31. Dream When You're Feeling Blue by Elizabeth Berg - 3 sisters spend WWII write letters to the troops (yes)

32. Secret Keeper by Dannah Gresh - guide for high school/middle school girls about the "delicate power of modesty" (yes)

33. Never Mind the Joneses: Building Core Christian Values in a way that fits your family by Tim Stafford (yes)
"Sometimes a compromise can be found through a heart-to-heart talk. In it, the parents say explicitly that they don't want to pry into private details of life but that they must first feel confidence that no destructive behavior is going on. That gives children a fair warning: if they want privacy they have to be forthcoming with the information their parents need in order to be good parents." (pg. 144)
"Grace speaks to regret and bitterness in the language of forgiveness. Sometimes we talk about forgiveness as though we understand it, as though it's a perfectly natural human interaction. Forgiveness is more like a miracle. How a person consumed by his own past failings can come to releases them like helium balloons, I do not understand. I see it happen but I cannot explain it. How someone whose mind helplessly plays and replays a long-ago hurt can come to release the bitterness is beyond me. But it happens when grace touches their lives." (pg. 195)

34. Fin and Lady by Cathleen Schine - after his mother died, an 11 year old boy moves in with his worldly 24 year old half sister (maybe)

35. The Time Keeper by Mitch Album - "Father Time" is forced to live forever until he fully understands what it means to focus not on life but on time left (maybe)

36. Bed Rest by Sarah Bilston - a funny and yet sometimes inappropriate in language 'diary' of a lawyer forced 3 months bed rest while pregnant (maybe)

37. The Handmaid and the Carpenter by Elizabeth Berg - fictional back story of Mary and Joseph before, during and after Jesus' birth and childhood (yes)

38. Escaping into the Open by Elizabeth Berg - her true story of how she became a writer and her writing process (YES)
"You need to be a home for yourself and your work. You need to be a safe place to present things to be admired and loved. Never mind what anyone else has to say about your work, be it good or bad. Know that its necessary that you love your work, and let yourself do that. Relish what you are doing; whether you succeed or fail in the eyes of the outer world has nothing to do with the fact that you are answering a calling and making art as best you can. The world is rich because of people who do what you do. Treat yourself and your pages with respect - you know how to do it. Do not think you cannot call yourself a writer until you've been published." (pg. 34)

39. The Husbands Secret by Liane Moriarty - 3 seemingly unconnected families have their paths crossed over an unsolved murder (maybe)

40. Divergent by Veronica Roth - in a world divided into factions, a 16 year old girl has to decide her future and the future of her family (maybe)

41. 52 Reasons to Hate My Father by Jessica Brody - when a spoiled socialite crashes her new car into a convenience store, her dad makes her work a different minimum job a week for a year in order to earn her inheritance (yes)

42. Insurgent by Veronica Roth - second book in Divergent series in which factions start breaking apart and starting a war (maybe)

43. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - WWII told from narrator "death" following the story of a young girl who loves words and books and has an amazing journey stealing them throughout her life. (yes)
"There would be punishment and pain and there would be happiness too. That was writing." (pg. 535)

44. Allegiant by Veronica Roth - final in trilogy. Least favorite and frustrating ending (arrggg)

45. The View from Mount Joy by Lorna Landvik - story of high school boy through adulthood with all of lifes ups and downs - too many adult scenes - could have been toned down to make a better book (no)

46. Sinners and the Sea: The Untold Story of Noah's Wife by Rebecca Kanner - long imagined story of Noah's family, preperations, flood, and restart of the world (no)

47. Wanderville by Wendy McClure - orphan children escape a work camp to build their own town in the woods (yes)

48. The Priority List by David Menasche - a teacher becomes almost blind and is dying of cancer decides to stop all treatment and find old students and check in (although quite narsassitic - yes)
"Power is the ability to effect change . . . but strength is endurance because all I ask for my remaining days is the strength to endure them." (pg. 217)

49. Hold up the Sky by Patricia Sprinkle - a summer in the south where a group of women learn about themselves, their families and each other (YES)
"Don't grow up so fast! Don't lose the wonder you have as a child. When you have passed through stormy years to become whoeve you will be I cannot promise you will find wonder waiting on the other side." (pg. 2)
"Katrina brought over additional merchandise. They sat in tennis visors sipping tea and cracking jokes. Watching your possessions disappear into other people's trucks could be hilarious, Margaret discovered, when shared with a friend." (pg. 166)
"The poor know the true blessing of God - that He is with us no matter what we face. No one can take that away. When you know that, nothing else matters and you will truly know God." (pg. 286)

50. Escape From Mr. Lemoncello's Library by Chris Graberistein - a game creator makes an adventure out of finding the secret way out of his brand new public library (YES)

51. The Lemon Grove by Ali Hosseini - a twin brother returns o Iran after a stay in America and finds the country war torn, his brother missing and his brother's wife arrested (no)

52. Sarah's Key by Tatiana Rosnay - modern and historical stories collide as a new couple is moving into an apartment once inhabited by a Jewish family arrensted and encamped during WWII in France (yes)

53. The Deep Blue Sea by Luanne Rice - a daughter spends the summer in Italy with her mother who abandoned her ten years before (yes)

54. The Father's Tale by Michael O'Brien - a take on the prodigal son. A father travels to England, Russia, ends up in Sibiria, taken to China on a dangerous journey in attemp to rescue his son from a "cult" of intelectuals. Meets many people along the way who continue to grow his faith (yes . . . but 1072 pages!!)
"Maybe we don't need to be in such a rush to figure ourselves out. Just to exist as a human being is phenominal. Maybe all I need to know is what God allows me to see." (pg. 139)
"On every hunched shoulder was the message. Endurance. Endurance was engraved in the genetic code of all those who had survived." (pg. 331)
"Wait upon the Lord. Listen. Pray. Read sacred scriptures. Perhaps you need only sleep. For each person, it is a different experience. Sometimes the Lord merely wishes you to rest. At other times He will speak quietly; at times, not at all. Sometimes there is consolation; at other times there is struggle. Whatever occurs is a gift." (pg. 503)

55. Looking for Alaska by John Green - a girl dies in a car accident leaving behind close friends to wonder why and honor her legacy (no - language)

56. Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me (and other concerns) by Mindy Kaling - a funny memoir of growing up then working in comedy (maybe - launguage)

57. Beautiful Day by Elin Hilderbrand - a daughter gets married and plans the whole wedding based off a notebook written by her mom before she died (maybe)

58. Songs of Willow Frost by Jamie Ford - an orphan recognizes her mother from a movie poster and finds her to rediscover her past - set in Chinatown in Seattle in the 1920/30's (yes)

59. The Scribe by Francis Rivers - story of Silas from bible told in narrative from his perspective traveling with Paul etc. (maybe)

60. What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty - after suffering a severe concussion a woman realizes she lost years of her memories (YES)

61. The One and Only Ivan by Katharine Applegate - based on a true story of a gorilla caged in a mall for 27 year. He plans an escape when a baby elephant joins the captured (YES)

62. Paper Towns by John Green - senior year a group of friends follow clues to find a girl who ran away (yes)

63. Dreaming Water by Gail Tsukiyama - a woman with Werners Syndrome in which you age rapidly lives with her aging mother a faces a difficult future (yes)

64. A Hidden Affair by Pam Jenoff - a CIA agent goes on an international hunt for her fiance when she finds out he faked his death (no)

65. Beyond Belief by Jenna Misgaive Hill - story growing up in scientology and eventual escape (maybe)

66. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion - a college professor sets out to find a wife with a specific questionair (no for language - yes for story)

67. The Samurai's Garden by Gail Tsukiyama - a young Chinese boy goes to live in Japan while he is recovering from a serious illness during the time of the Japenese invasion and he struggles to balance what he hears with the gently gardender he grows close to (yes)

68. The Kingdom of Wrenly series by Jordan Quinn - Haley's recommendation - this 3 part series is about a prince who goes on an adventure with a peasant friend and a pet dragon (yes)

69. The World's Strongest Librarian by Josh Hanagarne - true story of how man with tourettes finds himself and his purpose through books (YES)
"I'll never know everything about anything but I'll know something about almost everything and that's how I like to live." (pg. 3)
"To see the value of a library, ignore the adults. Find an inquisitive child who doesn't have an IPhone yet, take them to the library and tell them they can learn anything they want there." (pg. 217)

70. Women of the Silk by Gail Tsukiyama - story of silk factories in China and the girls/women who worked there (maybe)

71. Who Wrote That: Shel Silverstein by Elisa Ludwig - short biography on the authors life (maybe)

72. The Novelist by Angela Hunt - challenged by a student to write something more personal an author begins a novella telling a modern day Eden/fall of man story in an attempt to reach her son (maybe)
"I used to think the creator tested me to discover how strong I was. Lately though I've begun to realize He has an entirely different purpose in mind. The Author of my life knows everything about me so He already knows how strong I am. The tests come to me - and to you - so we will know how strong the creator is when He carries me through what we can't handle alone." (pg. 292)

73. I'm Not Mad I Just Hate You by Roni Cohen and Michelle Silver - parenting advice on communicating effectively between mom and teen daughter (yes)
"When you listen to your daughter's arguments (not necessarily agreeing with them) you are encouraging her to reason. When you negotiate with her with you are building her problem solving skills." (pg. 103)
"Empower her - remind her of her strength, seek her input, teacher her to get information, give her coping strategies, and encourage problem solveing." (pg. 206)

2014 Wrap Up

2015-01-15T16:08:00.001-08:00

2014 has been a filled year for the Marsh family. I left out the fun as it has not always been. A hard core resurgence of asthma and a 10 day hospital stay because of said crummy lung function has not been fun. It remains to be a constant daily struggle but, as a family, we try hard not to let it overtake our lives nor define who we are.

This year, we took a great family vacation to Idaho, I got to trade in the trusty old van for a new-to-us Honda Pilot, Hannah successfully started middle school like a champ, Haley turned 9 and has exploded in her math and reading skills, and Travis continues to reach kids in incredible ways as a teacher and a coach.

Never was Travis' passion for kids more needed than this fall. October brought a lot of heartache into our community and into our personal life. The high school that Travis' middle school feeds into had a school shooting. 5 of the 6 students involved, were students that Travis had taught and/or coached. It was a senseless, devastating loss that brought with it weeks of difficulties. We attended memorial services for innocent kids who's only involvement that day was showing up for school - something that shouldn't have to be done. We dealt with the aftermath of knowing and having current siblings of the shooter on Travis' football team. As the high school was closed for a week, Travis had countless students come down to gain some support from a steadfast mentor they've had in their lives. A lifetime of loving on kids through thick and thin accumulated into this experience and God truly held Travis in the palm of His hand while he navigated these uncharted waters. The last football game of the season was scheduled for the week immediately following the event. Not only was it a delicate time in the community and school in general, siblings of victims involved played on the team. After much contemplation and nightly conversations, a decision was made to play - as one close friend to the family said, "Coach, I just need to play some football right now." The game was against a rival school from the same town. Before the game, Travis walked all the way across the field and spoke with the other team saying, "Today, on this field, we're all football players. Don't go easy on us - let's put everything aside and play." Then he brought the whole team over to our side line. He asked each player to find their number from the opposing team, mixed them all up, and had a picture taken.

I don't think I could have been any prouder of the man my husband is than at that moment. He gets kids. He gets life. Life is about relationships. This was one of those forever pivotal moments that I will never forget.

In celebration of Travis' birthday, his family took him to a Husky football game. The four of them grew up cheering for the Dawgs so it was a great full circle for them to re-live the fun and make some new memories in the new stadium.

On December 13th, our sweet, funny, amazing girl turned 9. I can no longer say I have "little kids." For her family gift, Haley decided she'd really like to own some fish. (Actually she really wanted to own a dog but mom's lungs got in the way of this one.) I digress - Daddy and Haley went to the fish store and picked out the coolest glow in the dark fish ever she named "Tinka" and "Tigger" because one is small like a little sheep in a book we love and the other is orange and likes to jump around a lot. She also picked an incredible tank with all the bells and whistles to go along with it. Watching these two little guys have already brought a lot of family enjoyment.

For her birthday party, Haley chose Science as the theme. Instantly, Travis was filled with ideas on how to make this day memorable and amazing. From baking soda/vinegar volcanoes, dry ice turning lemonade into a carbonated drink, and even shooting Mentos out of coke bottles, the mad scientist made it an absolute blast and an event that will not be forgotten for a long time!!

Over the summer, Haley started violin lessons. The afternoon of her birthday, she got to perform in her first recital and did an incredible job.

Ms. Laura Roundy - our fabulous teacher

Per our yearly tradition, the day after Thanksgiving, we got out Christmas tree and decorated the house. For some reason, the girls insisted on dressing up in fancy dresses . . . I never want to forget these precious little moments.

The day school ended for Christmas vacation, the Marsh family packed up the car and headed to Ocean Shores on the Washington coast for 5 days of memory making with A. Bonnie, U. Ryan, cousins Moses, Junie, Simon and Grandma and Grandpa. Although the weather outside was frightful (or exactly to be expected on the WA coast in December), when there was a break from the rain, the kiddos enjoyed running into the ocean becoming soaked and sandy from head to toe.

In the evenings, the kids enjoyed getting cozy in their pjs and watching Christmas movies.

And Uncle Ryan led a few sing-a-longs with beautiful accompanying dances by Juniper.

After an incredible time, we packed the car and headed back home. This time, we added Grandma and Grandpa and all their belongings in the car as well. Hannah was an amazing trouper . . .

We returned home on Christmas Eve with just enough time to lay out some milk and cookies for Santa and get tucked in our beds. The girls always have a slumber party together with strict instructions not to wake up Mom and Dad until 7am . . . this never works but we try every year anyway. At 6:40am (and apparently that was generous as they woken up almost every hour in excitement) the girls came in jumping up and down reminding us it was Christmas. We groggily got out of bed and they scurried down the stairs to discover Santa had left a stocking full of gifts and their very own, long coveted . . .IPODS!!! There were squeals, huge smiles and Haley who said, "I don't even know what to do!" With homemade gluten free cinnamon rolls (that tasted more like dry biscuits - sorry family - I'll try again next year), we spent the rest of the morning exchanging gifts with each other.

After a nice leisurely morning together in our pjs, we filled up the car with presents and headed down to Grandma and Grandpas for Christmas dinner and gift giving. It was fun having spent so much recent time together as the cousins were already warmed up and ready to play. We had an incredible meal, gave and received some very thoughtful things including some old books and purses of Nana's and finished the evening with songs around the piano.

On Saturday, we headed up north for another Christmas celebration with Grandma, Papa, Namies, A. Missy, U. Ben, and Baby James. Although everyone had fun, I think James was the star of the show enjoying opening gifts and being doted upon by every person in the room! Christmas is so much more fun through the eyes of a child.

In celebration of my birthday the end of the month, the girls had grandma slumber parties so Travis and I could rent a stack of movies, order my favorite take-out (Mai Phim Thai food) and sleep in. It was some much needed rest after a busy holiday season and there's no one I would have rather spent it with!


You Again (a story of high school history coming back to bite you was hilarious) The Grand Budapest Hotel (super quirky but I loved it) This is Where I Leave You (siblings coming together after the death of their father - very disappointing) Maze Runner (combo/knock off of The Host, The Hunger Games, and every other teen movie lately - but worse)

The Book Thief (amazing incredible book to read and amazing incredible movie to watch) Let's Be Cops (of course it had some inappropriate parts but it was hilarious!!)

When you are smack dab in the middle of paying bills and doing dishes and folding laundry and going to work and doing homework and practicing piano and going to violin lessons and driving to and from school, the days can be oh so long but as 2014 comes to a close and I look back at just how far we've come and how much the girls have grown and all that we've done, the years are oh so short. Wishing you a New Year filled with all that is truly important - family, friends, laughter, love and sharing all the little things that can mean so much.

Hope

2014-10-28T19:19:00.001-07:00

People (myself included) often question and wonder where God is in times of tragedy. Sometimes He shows us, He's right in the middle of it.

Marysville Pilchuck High School - the day after devastation

Hug Your Kids

2014-10-24T15:37:00.001-07:00

We had a tragic event in our community today. A school shooting at the high school that Travis' middle school feeds into. The students directly involved on both sides of the scenario were football players on Travis' team last year. It is scary. It is confusing. It is too close to home. There are no words to explain how we are feeling right now. We are in shock and I think we will be for quite a while. One thing I do know, when our girls come home today from school safely, I'll put my arms around them and hold them extra tight. Hug your kids . . . you never know what tomorrow holds.

October Day Book

2014-10-22T19:32:00.002-07:00

Outside my window...

As Pooh Bear would say,its a blustery day. The rain is pouring, the leaves are falling, the wind is blowing and I love it. The extra warm incredible summer we had was a nice treat but I am a Washington girl through and through and I love me some fall.

I am thankful for..
A prednisone support group I found online. As big and incredible and loving my friends and family cheering team is, it is incredible to have found a group of people dealing with EXACTLY the same side effects and EXACTLY the same level of frustration with amounts of doctors appointments and EXACTLY the same difficulty attempting to taper off this ridiculous drug. I have found myself laughing, crying, learning and offering experience to this giant network of people.

I am thinking about...
Continuing to build relationships with my daughters. As they grow and change into new phases and interests and hobbies and activities, I think it's crucial that I grow and change with them. It's not always easy and takes a lot of work but I want a close relationship in which they feel like they can come to me with anything big or small and someday grow into friendships that last a lifetime. For the time being, I need to continue to evolve my parenting style that molds and shapes them into healthy, happy, polite, young ladies that are pleasant to be around. And I need to remember to take time out from parenting just to play with them - Haley and I had a pretty rousing game of Disney Princess Monopoly last night and it was truly a joy to listen to her chat about her day and giggle as she kicked my booty!

Learning all the time...

What's important. I'm being reminded from every which direction that I have no control over lots of things I wish I could control. I do have control, however, of how much I allow those things to control me. I am learning to choose to focus and put my attention on those things that are important . . . relationships with my husband, my kids, my family, my friends . . . and that those things don't look the same as they used to. I can't go to Zumba any more . . . I can't work any more . . . I can't walk my kids to school any more . . . but I can wallow and focus on that all day (and trust me I have!) or I can choose to focus on the fact that I am home and not in the hospital and I have two healthy kids that I can play games with and read books with and watch movies with and a husband that has stood by my side in greater support than I could have ever imagined 13 years ago when we said I do and I have a group of friends that will come during the day carrying Thai food for an "in house" lunch date when I'm going a bit stir crazy but it's to tough to go out that day and a sister that sends me the cutest pictures in the universe of my nephew that make me smile and remind me whats important . . . those people that are there healthy or sick . . . and could care less if I was going to Zumba or walking to school or going to work . . . now I need to give myself that same grace and enjoy this crazy life.

From the kitchen...

Butternut squash soup in the crock-pot. It's a family favorite and officially means fall has arrived!

I am creating . . .
Piles of folded laundry for my family to carry upstairs and put away. Call me crazy but I love doing laundry. There is something about taking a giant heap of dirty unorganized clothes and in a few hours turning them into lovely stacks of fresh smelling goodness. OCD much anyone?

I am working on...
Inputting Travis grades for him. He is an amazing teacher and does a ton of work. If I can lighten the load a little by mindlessly putting numbers into boxes, I'm happy to.

I am going...

To pick up my middle schooler and her friend after school. Wednesday night is youth group night. Yes - I have a child old enough for youth group now?! I love picking them up after school because the stories of the day start pouring out immediately. A few things you must know about communicating with a middle schooler in case you don't have one yet . . . they talk really loud, they talk really fast, and don't try to ask a question or make a comment or you'll totally throw them off track requiring a complete retelling of an already very long and drawn out story with way to many details. Just listen. You'll be amazed what you'll learn!

I am hoping...

For new ideas from a pulmonary specialist. Next week I am headed down to Seattle to see a new doctor that specializes in a three part surgery/procedure that has shown a lot of success in severe asthmatics. Although I have to be at a very low dosage of prednisone to qualify, we're hopeful that maybe with her experience with patients as tricky as me, she'll have some new insight for us. It can't hurt to try.

I am reading...
Lots and lots and lots. I seem to go in phases. I'm always reading something but there are times when I speed up and read through stacks of books. It must be the weather. Big blanket on my lap, cozy rocking chair with a view out the window of the changing leaves, a warm cup of coffee with Pumpkin Spice creamer, a book . . . bliss.

I am hearing...
The nebulizer. Yup. I said it. And it stinks. I picked up a respiratory infection that we tried to treat with three rounds of antibiotics but unfortunately it continued to pick up speed and dropped further in my lungs requiring an increase in prednisone again. It was one of the most discouraging, frustrating weeks I've had in a very long time. I worked 22 long hard weeks to taper myself down to 30mg . . . the lowest I've been in 9 months . . . only to be told I have to go back to 60 starting all over again from the beginning. If all goes exactly as hoped, I'm looking at 24 weeks to go to get back down to 30 again ultimately hoping to get to zero. This is one exhausting journey I don't understand. I'm thankful for this drug that allow me to breathe . . . but man I hate it!!!

Around the house...

Fall decorations. Although we don't have as many as we do for Christmas, we have some cute pumpkins and corn stalks and crafts the girls have made through the years that just make our home that much cozier.

One of my favorite things...

Holiday flavored creamers. I love the Pumpkin Spice and I love the Peppermint Mocha and I think it's for the celebration of the holiday as much as the yummy flavor.

Here are some picture thoughts I am sharing with you...

We had some visitors in our backyard . . . a mommy and a baby racoon were walking around on the girls play set, the back of our fence and the neighbors roof. Haley wanted to get close but we reminded her of the part in "Elf" when he tried to give the racoon a hug . . . enough said.

This weekend Travis, the kids, and our incredible cousin Mandi went to the pumpkin patch and picked out the yearly pumpkins. They came home and we all carved out our masterpieces. Haley went with Doc McStuffins, Hannah cut out Yoda, Mandi somehow captured Ilsa in perfect likeness, I gave a sarcastic nod to my dear friend Asthma and Travis managed to create a pumpkin eating a pumpkin. We had a ton of fun and our porch looks awesome!!

Here's wishing you an afternoon of a warm blanket, a cozy chair, a steaming cup of coffee, and book. Happy Fall Y'all.

Fall Frenzy

2014-09-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

Fall has begun. And my head is spinning. We have now turned the page to enter a huge new chapter in our family life. Hannah started Middle School.

This means so many things. It means we have to wake up at 6:30am. It means I have to make 4 trips back and forth to take and pick up kiddos instead of 2. It means we had to learn how to use a locker . . . and memorize a schedule . . . and change into a PE uniform . . . and haul a band instrument back and forth from school to home . . . and watch my sweet little baby girl enter a building full of kids that don't look so little. A friend sent me this blog post from Momastery that couldn't have nailed this transition any better . . . (grab some tissues . . . you've been warned)

Watching Him Walk Away is Like Looking Right at the Sun

I just dropped Chase off at middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL.

Like I’ve been doing for three weeks now- I let him out of the car. I let him walk away from me and toward that huge building filled with PEOPLE AND DYNAMICS AND IDEAS and other horrible wonderful things that will break his heart and MAKE his heart and that I have no business trying to control. I let him walk toward a life that is HIS and not mine. Toward experiences that he is meant to have without me. Toward journeys he has to take alone.

Someone needs to create a word that describes what happens inside of a mama’s heart as she’s watching her child walk into a school building. We need a word for the feeling that overtakes her after saying goodbye to her infant who is somehow masquerading as a young MAN and who is walking away from her into his adolescent life. A word to describe the phenomena that is a mother sitting helplessly in her empty van while her heart silent screams her daily PLEASEPLEASEPLEASES!!! PLEASE be good to him Please see his strengths and overlook his weaknesses Please sit by him at lunch. Please smile back when he smiles. Please want to be his partner. Please be gentle. Pleasepleaseplease.PLEASE.

And how as she watches him walk away- toward the unknown of his day and away from the KNOWN of her (SO BRAVE! HOW DID HE GET SO BRAVE??? IS THIS LEVEL OF INSANE BRAVENESS EVEN WISE????) her head understands that the world is unfolding as it should. Her head KNOWS that all is well. That he is beginning his LIFE and that LIFE in all its bruty is what he came here for. And that he is ready. But her heart will not receive that memo. Her heart wants to run after him and pull him close and say: JUST JOKING HONEY! WE MADE A MISTAKE! THIS IS TOO MUCH! Come home and we will stay together forever and I will make sure that life NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU. Don’t worry. We will snuggle forever. Because I am not ready.

So she just sits in her empty van for a moment- holding up the car line for a split second too long. Her body is temporarily paralyzed, short circuited by the opposing messages from her head and her heart. The mixed messages SWARM her being and all at once she feels pride and fear and terror and excitement and hope and hopelessness and tenderness and ferocity and loss and gain. All these emotions swirl until her heart becomes so swollen that it threatens to escape out of her throat into tears and so she instructs herself to snap out of it. She shakes herself a bit. She breathes deeply and shrugs it all off and she drives away. And on her way home she tries to restore her heart to its original size by thinking of other things. Practical things. Because it’s all too much. Whatever that feeling is- it’s a lot like looking right at the sun. It’s simply too bright to stand for longer than a moment.

Is it love? Is the word love? Damn. Love wins but love hurts.

Tears right? I told you. Remember that manual we got when we had these little babies handed to us that told us just how hard this journey would be? Me neither.

My little bug started third grade this year.

This means she moved upstairs. She's no longer in the younger half of elementary school. Only two more first days of school after this year before I send my baby to Middle School? Are you kidding me? It's almost too much . . . almost. And then I smile as I listen to the tales of the school day told through their eyes . . . and I laugh when they tell me jokes that are actually funny now . . . and I enjoy playing games that are actually fun for adults (Candy Land can only entertain so long) . . . and I look back a little wistful . . . forward a little overwhelmed . . . but smack dab ok right in this moment . . . cause no matter how crazy this life is, it's ours.

Is it love? Is the word love? Damn. Love wins but love hurts.

- See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/09/10/watching-him-walk-away/#sthash.O7dOVGKh.dpuf

My other little lady started 3rd grade this year.

just dropped Chase off at middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL.

Someone needs to create a word that describes what happens inside of a mama’s heart as she’s watching her child walk into a school building. We need a word for the feeling that overtakes her after saying goodbye to her infant who is somehow masquerading as a young MAN and who is walking away from her into his adolescent life. A word to describe the phenomena that is a mother sitting helplessly in her empty van while her heart silent screams her daily PLEASEPLEASEPLEASES!!! PLEASE be good to him Please see his strengths and overlook his weaknesses Please sit by him at lunch. Please smile back when he smiles. Please want to be his partner. Please be gentle. Pleasepleaseplease.PLEASE.

And how as she watches him walk away- toward the unknown of his day and away from the KNOWN of her (SO BRAVE! HOW DID HE GET SO BRAVE??? IS THIS LEVEL OF INSANE BRAVENESS EVEN WISE????) her head understands that the world is unfolding as it should. Her head KNOWS that all is well. That he is beginning his LIFE and that LIFE in all its bruty is what he came here for. And that he is ready. But her heart will not receive that memo. Her heart wants to run after him and pull him close and say: JUST JOKING HONEY! WE MADE A MISTAKE! THIS IS TOO MUCH! Come home and we will stay together forever and I will make sure that life NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU. Don’t worry. We will snuggle forever. Because I am not ready.

Is it love? Is the word love? Damn. Love wins but love hurts.

- See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/09/10/watching-him-walk-away/#sthash.U3pI9yuW.dpuf

I just dropped Chase off at middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL.

Someone needs to create a word that describes what happens inside of a mama’s heart as she’s watching her child walk into a school building. We need a word for the feeling that overtakes her after saying goodbye to her infant who is somehow masquerading as a young MAN and who is walking away from her into his adolescent life. A word to describe the phenomena that is a mother sitting helplessly in her empty van while her heart silent screams her daily PLEASEPLEASEPLEASES!!! PLEASE be good to him Please see his strengths and overlook his weaknesses Please sit by him at lunch. Please smile back when he smiles. Please want to be his partner. Please be gentle. Pleasepleaseplease.PLEASE.

And how as she watches him walk away- toward the unknown of his day and away from the KNOWN of her (SO BRAVE! HOW DID HE GET SO BRAVE??? IS THIS LEVEL OF INSANE BRAVENESS EVEN WISE????) her head understands that the world is unfolding as it should. Her head KNOWS that all is well. That he is beginning his LIFE and that LIFE in all its bruty is what he came here for. And that he is ready. But her heart will not receive that memo. Her heart wants to run after him and pull him close and say: JUST JOKING HONEY! WE MADE A MISTAKE! THIS IS TOO MUCH! Come home and we will stay together forever and I will make sure that life NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU. Don’t worry. We will snuggle forever. Because I am not ready.

Is it love? Is the word love? Damn. Love wins but love hurts.

- See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2014/09/10/watching-him-walk-away/#sthash.U3pI9yuW.dpuf

The Last Few Months . . .

2014-07-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

I had great intentions of blogging quite regularly about all our adventures this summer but we've been . . . . well . . . having a summer! Here's a photo catch up (with a few wordy blurbs as I just can't help myself).

This little guy was baptized . . .

In a very special service, Simon Marsh was welcomed into the family of God. He was an absolute angel. Even starting fast asleep, he didn't cry and just looked lovingly into his daddy's eyes. (And of course, his adoring sister looked on in wonder . . . love these kiddos!)

Another school year ended for Travis . . . .

He has worked with this same zany crew for 14 years in the PE department and when their recent retired buddy came back for a visit, they couldn't help but get in trouble!

I got texted my favorite picture so far of this little guy . . . .

And we got to love on him at a BBQ . . .

I still can't get over what an amazing mom my sister is . . . and am super excited to be an aunt again!!

We took a family vacation to Idaho . . .

We spent seven days swimming, mini golfing, swimming, fishing, swimming, doing puzzles, swimming, reading, swimming, playing games, swimming, playing racquetball and swimming. The pool was right across the parking lot from our condo and was salt water - it was great as you don't smell like chemicals, your skin is softer, and the water is sooo clear! The trip was relaxing and wonderful. (On our way down, we stopped for a quick overnight with my bestest friend since 7th grade . . . the girls and I are going back for a week here soon so we'll have lots of pictures then!)

While we were golfing, Haley got a hole in one. Then, on a different hole, she bumped Hannah's ball into the hole then proceeded to get another hole in one all in the same shot!! We may or may not have let them throw their balls over the water fall in our version of "Pooh Sticks" assuming they'd come down the little river and end up on the other side. And they may or may not have gotten stuck and our girls may or may not have had to climb down into the water and use their clubs to try and dislodge the balls. I'm just saying . . .

While fishing, they both caught a fish and Haley caught a turtle. No joke. We saw something big coming towards us as she reeled in and upon closer inspection, it was a turtle! He quickly grabbed half the worm and took off before we could get him out of the water and check him out (which was probably a good thing as who knows if he was some Idaho crazy snapping turtle or something) but who catches a turtle? Haley apparently!

We literally drove all the way from Idaho straight to our friends' lake house for the 4th of July fireworks . . .

It was fun, as always, to chat and watch the show. And from their spot, you can literally see all the way around the whole lake and enjoy everyone's fire works - even better than downtown if you ask me!

Hannah participated in a week long choir camp at St. Mark's cathedral in Seattle . . .

The experiences she got were out of this world including playing the huge organ. She loved absolutely every minute and is already telling us she can't wait for next year.

While Hannah was at choir camp one day, Haley got to go to the aquarium . . .

She is such a tactile kid that the touch pools were her dream come true.

Another day, she got to go to the driving range with Daddy to hit a bucket of balls . . .

They got about 150 and she hit at least 100 of them. She loved every minute!

The most surprising thing about having kids, for me, is how different they can be from each other. From day 1 Haley has loved putting stuff together. When we buy something she WANTS it to be disassembled so we have to assemble it. Thus the beautiful new grill that she literally read every direction and helped with every piece. Amazing kid.

Travis and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary . . .

It has been the craziest journey . . . I never could imagine going through all we've gone through . . . ups and downs, more downs, some more ups, a few more downs, then lots of ups . . . but I wouldn't want to be any where else with anyone else and appreciated the grandma over night so we could celebrate being where we are together.

In August, we went to a blueberry farm close to our house and enjoyed picking some delicious fruit. Upon returning home, we had blueberries with ice cream, blueberries on cereal, blueberry dump cake and handfuls of blueberries till the boxes were gone! We definitely enjoyed the fruits of our labor.

And last but certainly not least, I am no longer a mini-van Momma!!!

After 11 1/2 years, I got a new car! I am still giddy about driving around in my Honda pilot.

As I get asked quite often, here's an asthmatic update for those who are playing along from home. I'm working on tapering the steroids in slow poke motion. Three times I hit a threshold at 40 mg and have had to increase the dosage way way up, increase frequency of nebulizer treatments and even land in the hospital back in April for 10 days. This time, my doctor is taking the sneak attack method lowering me by only 1 mg a week. I'm currently on 42 mg (down from 60). It's painstakingly slow and the side effects are cumulative so I'm still dealing with all kinds of joy. (Weight gain is my personal favorite . . . even while eating salads . . . argggg) I'd like to fast forward to being completely off these crazy drugs, back to Zumba three times a week, walking my kids to and from school, running around doing my daily life at my normal speed, wearing my favorite clothes, stop bruising with each little bump, throw the nebulizer across the room, leave the inhaler at home and go about my "normal" life . . . and then I stop, get over myself and be thankful I'm out of the hospital, home with my family, able to successfully take a trip to Idaho, and continue to regain my strength everyday. The next goal is to get down to at least 10 mg for at least 5 weeks so that I can qualify to have a new surgery called Bronchial Thermoplasty (look it up if ya want) which means, if all goes well, I have 37 weeks and counting. I'm gonna have a huge party when I successfully hit 39 mg as I haven't been on that low of a dose for months. Come on over . . . just look for the big banner that says, "Screw You Asthma!" Slow and steady wins the race apparently so slow and steady I go.

On the calendar for the days and weeks to come: a few trips back the lake to swim and jump off the dock, a trip to the ocean to splash in the waves and build some sand castles, a jaunt to pick some blueberries, a return trip for a week of fun in Spokane with one of our favorite families and little daily adventures in the sprinkler, watching the kids ride bikes around the school and drinking copious amounts of iced coffee . . . loving summer!

And the birthday fun continues . . .

2014-06-25T22:50:00.001-07:00

When you've had a friend that you've known since you were three months old, fun is sure to ensue when you are together for a birthday slumber party . . . especially when your friend decides to get her ears pierced!! (And yes her mom was with us - I'm not that crazy of a parent!!) From MOD pizza to friendship necklaces, makeovers and matching marshmallow pants, another birthday sleepover success! (And they actually slept!! :)

Enough Said

2014-06-22T17:38:00.001-07:00

I'm on the mend. I'm tapering prednisone as slow as a slug but it's working. I'm starting to walk around more and am doing my own errands (a novelty I took for granted). I'm appreciating breathing again and rejoining my family in daily life activities. So, here's what I have to say,

My "AMAZING" Eleven Year Old

2014-06-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

On June 17th, our little bitty one month early weighing in just over four pound preemie turned 11. I'm not sure where the time has gone because it feels like only yesterday we were just bringing her home from the NICU afraid we were going to break her and at her recent well child check, she clocked in at the 75% in height for her age!!

For the big birthday, she had her first sleepover at our house and although momma had some trepidation going in, it was fantastic and everyone had so much fun!! My mom came down and we surprised the girls with an "Amazing Race" adventure all around the neighborhood. (Thanks to our wonderful friends who allowed us the use of their homes/doors/driveways/backyards!!)

They had no idea what they were in for when they opened the first clue . . .

Using the riddle enclosed, they had to give directions to their "taxi" until they arrived in "JAPAN" . . . while there, they had to make "sushi"and even had a surprise visit from a local ninja . . .

Upon completion of their first task, they received their next clue and once again had to solve the riddle and direct their "taxi" until they arrived in "FRANCE" . . . while there, they had to ring the Eiffel Tower . . .

After France, the girls had to complete the next few legs on foot. Using crazy directions, they had to find their way to "Ireland" where they had to look for Leprechaun gold . . . .

When they'd filled their pots of gold, they had to use walkie talkies and get directions from "Phil" . . . directions may have included blowing kisses to recycle bins, weaving through fire hydrants, playing ring-a-round-the-rosy on a street sign, and random patty cake on the side of the road . . . (at one point they asked, "Are you just trying to make us look silly?" . . . why yes, yes we are!!) . . . they finally arrived in "GERMANY" where they had to play a traditional game with dice, scarves, hats, gloves, knives, forks and a chocolate bar wrapped many times . . .

Upon completion (and consumption) of their task, they were off with the next clue until they found "CHINA" and raced with marshmallows and chopsticks . . .

Following "China," the girls were shuttled back to the start where they had to put their minds to the test and put all the countries and tasks in the order in which they traveled . . .

They spent the rest of their time together playing outside, eating a taco bar, playing games, eating a sundae bar, playing the "tween" version of "truth or dare" (one over cautious momma looked up questions and dares ahead of time and wrote out slips of paper to make it a 'surprise' for the birthday girl . . . and reassurance for the birthday momma on the types of questions and tasks), started "Despicable Me" and were all out like lights at 12:30. They didn't wake up the next morning until they heard me making breakfast at 8am!!! Slumber party success!! It was a wonderful celebration of a wonderful growing little girl. I'm so thankful for great friends in her life that are also sweet and innocent and well behaved. And I am so thankful to my mom (who made years and years of incredibly fun amazing slumber parties for me) for her help . . . and for her hours of card game playing while we watched the kiddos. I'm not guaranteeing one way or the other right now but Hannah may not have to wait another 11 years for the next slumber party in her life . . .

Last Day of School

2014-06-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

It's over. Another great year of growing and learning and making memories. We now officially have a third grader and a sixth grade middle schooler (gulp!). We spent the day outside playing games at field day and celebrating the occasion.

We've had this incredible amazing woman as a teacher for the past two years. I have never met someone who has better classroom management, higher expectations, and yet brings so much age appropriate fun into each activity. She will be sadly missed!! (And has some pretty big shoes - or adorable sandals - to fill next year!)

And this sweet woman has fit Hannah's personality to a T this year encouraging her even more in her voracious reading and incredibly creative writing. (Note - both sets of eyes are a little misty . . . not an easy goodbye from Elementary School today.)

It's been quite a school year for our family; one of perseverance, struggle, new experiences, old friends, new acquaintances and two hard working little girls. We couldn't be prouder!

Share an Article Monday

2014-06-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

I am definitely a believer that a kids job is to play. That's not to say that their brains don't need to be challenged and they don't need to help with chores around the house but you grow up way to fast and I think in our current culture we err on the side of over scheduling our families not allowing enough time to play. And by play, I mean unstructured, use your imagination, full on free time. If I'm honest, I'm not a very spontaneous person but a friend shared this article on Facebook and I wanted to pass it along. Enjoy. And plan for some time of no planning this summer!!

Top 10 Ways to Give Your Kid a 1970’s Summer

It is officially the beginning of June. The Pinterest pages, Facebook feeds, and family magazine features are loaded up with all the activities you should do with your kid’s summer. AS. IF. As if we need more activities. MORE I say! As if I am sitting here, ok, really laying here in my end of school year coma, thinking, “OMG! I CANNOT wait to tackle that homemade moon sand recipe we will dye ourselves with the skin of organic vegetables, then shape our homemade sand into a perfect replica of the Millenium Falcon! ” Or, “Why yes, I am going to schlep 4 kids to that new science museum two hours away, where we will eagerly wander through the exhibits, each completing the 10 page scavenger hunt I created last night. Then we will come home and ‘discuss’ at great length the scientific theories we learned, because, brace yourself, what if we don’t keep our minds active ALL summer? GASP! Wait, hold it! We must, just MUST go to the dollar store and buy 125 pool noodles to construct a backyard water park! We will invite the neighborhoods kids over, serve vegan popsicles, watermelon chunks cut out like dolphins, and a vegetable crudité platter shaped like a palm tree. And what summer pool party would be complete without nitrate, skin, meat, additive, and taste free hot dogs on gluten free buns covered in artisanal ketchup?”

I am done. Sort of like I how I was done with the school year, but I am already done with summer. And by done, I mean I am done with all the forced smile-inducing, uber planned and supervised, over-the-top summer life experiences I am supposed to provide for my kids. You know what I want my kids to experience this summer? The same type of summer I would have experienced in the late 1970’s. The exact same one. I survived it, and they will too. As a matter of fact, it must have been pretty memorable because 30 years later I can tell you exactly what it entailed. It entailed FUN. Fun we made all on our own. What. A. Concept.

My top 10 ways to give your 2014 kids a 1970’s summer:
1 .   Let them watch TV. Plenty of it. But only the TV Land channel. I want my kids to watch The Love Boat, The Carol Burnett Show, The Jefferson’s, Charlie’s Angels, My Three Sons, The Bionic Man, $100,000 Pyramid, and my favorite, Hart to Hart. Seriously, what little girl in the late 70’s didn’t want to be an amateur detective married to the CEO of Hart Industries, driving around in a yellow Mercedes-Benz SL Roadstar, while sporting a matching lilac pant suit and perfectly quaffed butterfly winged wavy brown hair?

2.   Eat whatever you want, and/or whatever can find. There will be no more pantries full of organic vegetable chips, and non-GMO graham crackers. No more refrigerators full of anti-pesticide fruit, free range eggs, and cold pressed juice. This will be the summer of Frito-Lay and Red Dye #5. I want to see my kid’s reaction when I tear open a tiny envelope of cherry Kool-Aid, sprinkle it into a BPA laden plastic pitcher, dump 4 cups of regular, granulated, white, and maybe even generic sugar (not raw, stevia, or agave,) then add water from the tap, and viola! You are hydrated! I will be over here drinking a Tab. Lunch will be fried bologna and a blue can of Planter’s Cheese Balls, and for dinner we will pile in the car and go pick up a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, a styrofoam quart of mashed potatoes, and OMG, dessert will be pineapple upside cake! Made from canned pineapples in…wait for it…syrup!

3.   Make them play outside. Like all day. All. Damn. Day. Hot? Drink from the hose. Run through the sprinklers. Swim in the pool until your hair feels like straw, turns green, and the bottom of your feet are calloused from the bottom of the pool. Search for ladybugs, play hide ‘n seek between the houses, run down the street gutters after a rain storm. Read under a tree. I hear this lady named Judy Blume writes good stuff.

4.   Send them to the movies for the entire day. I will drop you off at around 11 and pick you up for dinner. Its’ real simple. You sneak from one theater to the next. Nobody cares.

5.   Spend three nights in a row at your best friend’s house. No, you don’t have to call to check in every hour. And yes, it’s totally ok their parents will be at work and nobody will be home all day. It will give you plenty of time for #1, 2, and 3.

6.   Make stuff, like from stuff you find. No trips to Hobby Lobby for pre-cut, pre-stuck, pre-fabricated crafts.   Find crap in the garage and assemble it into something you can play with. No, you can’t Google how to do it. Ropes are fun.

7.    Have them put on a talent show. A real, genuine, sing and dance and entertain the hell out of me talent show. I promise I won’t upload it to Youtube or share it on Facebook. I pinky swear. No, there is no theme, no requirements, no directions, no anything. No, there is no right way to do it. You have an imagination. Please use it.

8.    Play the old Simon game until you want to throw it against the wall, or smash into 1,000 pieces. It’s the original train your brain app.

9.   Build a fort in the backyard. No, I am not gonna help. Yes, you can use the $125 Pottery Barn Kids duvet cover from your bed. I don’t care anymore. Making a memory trumps 400 thread count cotton.

10.  Finally, learn to find the amazing in the ordinary. Trust me. You will need this skill in your 40’s. I pinky swear.

Baby Dedication

2014-06-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

My sweet little nephew James was dedicated to the Lord this weekend at my sister's church. It was a beautiful service in which the pastor gave a special message to Melissa and Ben as his parents as well as the rest of the family and their congregation in the honor and responsibility of raising James in the way of the church. I pray that he grows to love the Lord at an early age and follows God's plan for his life. He is such a miracle and amazing addition to our family and it was a great joy to celebrate his birth in such a public way.

At one point in the service, I looked down the row and saw this mirror image of Haley and my dad and thankfully Travis was able to catch this special moment on camera.

Family is one of the most precious things in this entire world and it is truly a gift to be surrounded by such a supportive one. Today, I'm thankful for another little life to bring us even closer together.

School Projects

2014-05-29T16:23:00.001-07:00

The end of the school year is unbelievably quickly approaching so that means some school projects have invaded our home. (Exactly two weeks from today we'll have a 3rd and 6th grader?!) Both girls worked hard on their science fair projects this year. Haley chose to do an experiment on rocks.

And Hannah studied the difference in sound and volume based on the size of drums.

Both girls participated in the Spelling Bee this year for the first time. They both made it to the final spell off but not much further than that. They were gracious runners-up, loved the experience and Haley can't wait to try again next year.

And last but not least, Hannah has had the fantastic opportunity to participate in the High-Cap program this year and their last assignment was to create a ferris wheel as pairs using whatever materials they could find in the piles provided for them. I was more than impressed at what came home! Amazing what a little brainstorming and come creativity can get ya!! It actually turned around . . . and the girls thought to put pennies on the folded playing card seats so they were weighted and didn't flip over.

It's been an amazing year of learning and growing for both girls and I couldn't be prouder of all they have done.

A Much Needed Tank Filling Wake-Up

2014-05-19T10:56:00.002-07:00

I had the incredible opportunity to attend a Beth Moore conference this weekend. This is no small feat for so many reasons. My asthma has been so out of control the last couple months I have not been able to even get downstairs most days let alone out of the house! And a drive over and back to Spokane away from my doctors and safe little cocoon? Forget it! It was truly a miracle that I was stable and strong enough to load into the car with one of my bestest friends in the world for an amazing weekend.

I went in so drained and so empty and imagined I would leave with an encouraging message of God's healing and hope and rah rah sis boom bah - feel all warm and fuzzy and loved. This was not the case. Instead, the reoccurring theme I kept hearing was, "GET OVER YOURSELF!!" I was not molly coddled nor did I receive permission to live in my pity party but given a much needed wake up 'knock it off.' Knock off my self-conscious and vain thoughts about my puffy face and steroid weight gain. Knock off my self-imposed pity parties about how bad my little world is. Knock off my apathy towards getting anything done and Get Over Myself.

She formed her talk around the parable of the ten talents (Matthew 25:14-30) in which a master is getting ready to leave on a long journey. He leaves ten talents (some kind of biblical moolah) with one servant, two with another and the last poor sap only got one. (The distribution was based on how much they could carry - metaphorically speaking . . . I'm pretty sure those little talents didn't weigh a whole lot). Anyway, master leaves and guy with five talents immediately goes out, puts the money to work and doubles the amount he was responsible for. The guy with two talents does the same thing but the guy with one heads straight for the field and buries it in the dirt. Sometime later the master returns and calls the servants to him to see how they did. Guy one and guy two show him how they were responsible and smart and useful and doubled their money but the guy that was only trusted with one comes over with a song and dance about how he was scared of the masters response and knew he wasn't a very good guys so he buried it. The master gets upset and explains that Mr. Last Guy did not truly know the master at all or he wouldn't have been so foolish and gives the one talent over to the first guy. The moral of the story is, are using your talents and abilities or are you just wasting what you've been given?

She talked about how we were created to contribute. This resonated in a big way and struck me as to why I've been feeling so antsy and frustrated lately. My previous definition of contributing for myself has been volunteering in the classrooms, watching other people's kiddos, serving as PTSA president, running errands and taking care of the home for my family etc. and with my current health situation, I am unable to do ANY of those things. However, if there wasn't still something I could contribute, then I wouldn't still be here. There's no point in being a useless bump and burying myself in the dirt. Not only would that be a complete waste of any talent and ability I have but it would also be a huge misunderstanding of who my Master is. He wants to use me. I don't have all the answers in what that looks like yet but it was a wake-up.

At the end of the day, the people that love me are just happy to see me home and walking and couldn't care less about all my vanity issues. And there is some way that I can still contribute even if it doesn't look the same way as before. I needed a good old friendly shaking. I need to get over myself, stop focusing on all the "cant's" and "shoulds" and "poor mes" and "what ifs" and "used tos" and instead focus on the "what nows." I need to put my talents and abilities to work. I need to find ways in which I can contribute. I need to stop letting my ego dictate how I feel about myself and focus on the progress I've made. I needed my tank filled and now it is. It was not a touchy feely miracle the minute I walked into the stadium. It was a mental/spiritual challenge and lots of food for thought.

I restarted the tapering of prednisone today. It's not going to be easy. There is a very real possibility of a third relapse and slipping back into an asthmatic flare but I'm ready. I have a full tank. I'm not perfect. I'm not healed. I'm not 100% ready to exude sunshine everyday but my persepctive has been changed a bit and I'm going to jump head first into the game and get over myself.

I got a beautiful new devotional journal based on my favorite Beth Moore book "Get out of the Pit" called "Looking Up." The description says, "When life is looking down, look up and find God’s deliverance! Life can be hard…sometimes to the point of feeling as though your struggles will never end, and God isn’t anywhere near. The Looking Up Devotional Journal is Beth Moore’s timeless message of hope and deliverance taken from Psalm 40. You’ll discover you are indeed not alone, and that God’s gracious provision of love and faithfulness is at work, pointing you toward a life of wholeness and fullness. Guided journaling gently leads you out of hardship into a brighter future of purpose and peace." I'm ready to focus on that. I came home, pulled out one of my pretty new colored pens and got to work. It's only one page of reading and a few guided prompts but I know that by keeping my eyes up, I'll be heading into these next few weeks/months of the slow precarious process of decreasing medicines, with a renewed strength and focus on the right things . . . investing my talents and abilities instead of burying them in the dirt.

This picture doesn't do it justice but on the right side is a magnetic flap and the wispy white flowers are raised on the cover of the book. Sometimes just holding something of beauty in your hands is enough to inspire and encourage. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go this weekend. I am so grateful for the much needed tank filling wake-up and I am so grateful that I serve a Master who created me to contribute and find rest and peace in His gracious and loving hands.

Happy Mothers Day

2014-05-11T11:52:00.002-07:00

To my mom . . .
Thank you for your life of sacrifice just to be my mom. You were at every concert, every field trip, every play, every event. You made every birthday party amazing. You taught me to play games and never showed any mercy teaching me the importance of trying hard (and maybe you've taught me too well . . . a perfect game?!). You always made me feel loved. And now, the adult relationship we have is one I treasure beyond words. We stay up waaay to late because we have too many things to laugh and talk about. You are the most incredible grandma (of which I always knew would be the case). It's the little things (like a new bag of yarn) and the big things (like spending a week when I had new babies to make sure I didn't lose my mind) that make you the most incredible mother a girl could ask for. Thanks for setting the example of what a mom looks like and still living it out day in and day out.

To my mom-in-law . . .
I have yet to come up with a different term that doesn't have such a negative social image because our relationship is wonderfully completely different. Thank you for being such an amazing mother to Travis. I get to appreciate the fruits of your labor by marrying a man who was taught to respect women and provide for his family. Thank you for your acceptance and love for me as a daughter supporting and encouraging me from the beginning. Thank you for being an amazing grandma to our girls. And thank you for setting an example of what it means to be a woman of God.

To my sister . . .
Happy first mother's day!! I am amazed by you as a mom. You are patient and calm and loving. You have an incredible little man that (I can tell you from almost 11 years of mommy experience now) will test every last ounce of your patience, push every last button you've ever had, drain every last speck of your energy and enrich your life beyond your imagination. Welcome to the mommy club!!

To my mommy friends . . .
It takes a village to raise kids and I am so thankful to be in this village with you all. You make me a better mommy by encouraging me, supporting me, inspiring me and sharing your lives with me. You fill in gaps when I can't, laugh when mommy life is just too ridiculous for words, and remind me just what an amazing job this is.

And finally, to my beautiful little girls . . .
My whole life I knew I wanted to be a mommy. Almost 11 years ago, my life long dream came true. Since then, the two of you have stretched me beyond where I thought I could go and changed my life in ways I could never have imagine. You both make me laugh sometimes until tears are rolling down my face. I can't imagine life before you nor dream of life without you. I am beyond blessed that God has trusted me enough to give me you to take care of, nurture and love. Thank you for making me a mommy.

Friday Afternoon Day Book

2014-05-09T17:23:00.006-07:00

Outside my window...
Wind is blowing through my giant old trees of which I love to look at. It's reminding me of something Travis' Nana used to say (who lived to be 96 so you should listen!!) . . . if there is wind, then wind's my favorite and if there is sun then sun's my favorite but if there is rain then rain's my favorite. It's such a beautiful attitude of joy in each day down to each detail

I am thankful for..
Friends. I have two doctors appointments next week and two different friends who have offered to drive me - one of which has to go literally back and forth on the freeway four times at 40 minutes each way!! I am beyond blessed.

I am thinking about...
How quickly the end of the school year is approaching. There are less than 20 days before I will have a 3rd grader and a 6th grade middle schooler?! The years are beyond fast sometimes!

Learning all the time...
My limits. I have them and my type A, perfectionist self doesn't want to. It's time I wake up and face the music and really embrace the fact that the world does go around without me and life happens whether or not I try and control it (to no avail). There are a lot of things out of my control and I want to control that . . . issues!!

From the kitchen...
My hubby getting his cook on. We have watched enough Food Network now that he is becoming quite the chef. And he's not just cooking amazing food, he's getting the presentation down too. I feel like I'm at a 5 star restaurant sometimes. (We have also been blessed by some great meals from some thoughtful friends and neighbors that have been much appreciated and have given the chef a much needed respite!)

I am creating . . .
Another crochet blanket! What a surprising change of pace (she says oh so sarcastically!!)

I am working on...
Accepting help. It's not easy for me to sit back and be waited on. And I know, I know, I'm not doing it on purpose but, although sometimes I get out of breath just headed to the bathroom and back, I can't help but feel lazy. I'm a doer. I'm a goer. I want to be serving my family in the most mundane ways I used to take for granted and even complain about. It's not easy to sit on my hands and watch things be done for me. But, I need it and it's only my own stubbornness and issues that are a problem. I'm working on that. Ok - I'll start working on that. Ok - I'll talk about working on that and eventually actually work on it.

I am going...
To enjoy Mother's Day this year almost more than ever. I have two beautiful amazing little girls. My whole life, when some little girls wanted to be teachers or nurses or doctors or police officers, I wanted to be a mommy. Not a day goes by that I am not so grateful to have these little people in my life. Let's get real - not everyday is it a wonderful glorious job - but I am grateful everyday for two healthy little gifts that made me a mommy. And as hard as these last few months have been, those two little people have given me more of a reason to fight that anything else!

I am hoping...
To get to Spokane next weekend. I have had tickets to go see Beth Moore since December. With this asthma exacerbation, I have had to clear the calendar and cancel many events. I know it's not going to be easy and I know I'm going to be exhausted but I'm hoping and praying and wishing on stars and knocking on wood and everything else possible that I can be up to making the trip. There is definitely a physical part to this journey. I need rest and breathing treatments and doctor's appointments and medications. But, there is also a huge mental/emotional/spiritual side to this as well and I need to fill that area up so I can face this thing some more.

I am reading...
(Or listening on Hoopla) "The Wedding Dress" by Rachel Hauck. It's a sweet story of a woman who buys a trunk at an auction and finds an old wedding dress inside. The book then tells the stories of each of the women who wore the vintage dress going back as far as 1912. Kind of fluffy and kind of fun.

I am praying for...
A family who just lost their dad/son/brother/husband/nephew/cousin/friend way to early to cancer. He was about Travis age with two little girls the same ages as ours. It hit home. We are going through a hard medical time . . . but I am still here to fight. There are times when there are not even words to say . . . or to know what to pray specifically for . . . so I'm just praying for them.

I am hearing...
A fan. I know. It's windy outside and probably cool in my house but I'm on steroids remember? Fun side effect #72 - I'm smokin' hot . . . and I don't mean it in a fun, attractive sort of way. I mean it in a I'm-really-hot-and-need-a-fan-and-a-tank-top-even-though-its-probably-60-degrees-and-raining-so-leave-me-alone. (maybe the steroids make me a little edgy too?!)

Around the house...
Tidying chaos. Travis is doing an amazing job of carrying the load of two people and the girls are plenty old enough and they are helping with odd jobs but like it or not, there are just some Mom jobs and tidying is one of them. I know where stuff goes, I see things that other people around here don't seem to notice and when I make it downstairs, I kinda go a little buggy. Let me add to my "I am thankful for . . . " list. I am thankful for a friend who is coming over to my house to tidy. I'm gonna sit in my cozy chair and shed some light on the appropriate location for all the tidy problems and she will put them in their places. Thankfulness.

One of my favorite things...
My pillow. It's not a small thing to have a pillow that fits just right. Thank you Costco for your side-sleeper memory foam pillow that brings me great joy and comfort.

Here is some picture thoughts I am sharing with you...

Three Sweet Buddies

Danananananananana . . . Bat James!!

Sleepy Little Simon

A Distration from Distractions

2014-05-07T14:00:00.002-07:00

For the last few weeks I have worked tirelessly to keep myself distracted while I sit here and do nothing except focus on breathing. I have watched scores of movies and TV shows, crocheted copious amounts of blankets, hats, scarves, bed runners, skirts, even a sweater for my grandma, blown through books of crossword puzzles and Sudoku, played games on the I-Pad, even found the magical world of pod-casts and audiobooks.

Last night, I hit a wall. I was bored. Of everything. I didn't want to watch one more movie, do one more project, do one more puzzle or even listen to one more book. I was done. And I began to think . . . the whole reason why I have kept myself distracted . . . so I wouldn't think. Anyway, I began to think and what I realized was, I haven't been nourishing my soul at all. I've been attempting to feed my lungs with breathing treatments and I'd finally found a way to "read" books and feed my mind but my soul was getting weary. I decided that in the morning, I would pick up some "soul" feeding books. I have a new book called "Seven Sacred Pauses" that goes over praying through the hours. I have a few bible studies. I have some other encouraging things that would fill my heart and I needed to tap into that area that was getting very drained and feeling very empty.

This morning, my fabulous friend and current Marsh-Girl-Carpooler came to pick up my kiddos and popped into my room to say hi. She said she didn't know why she was thinking about it but she loved listening to sermons online - especially ones from "The Village Church" preached by Matt Chandler. She said it in passing and away she went. It was not a coincidence (as God's sovereignty never is). It was exactly what I was needing to do today. It was a very attainable way to begin to fill the gap in my soul . . . so filling I am doing . . . and it is feeling good. I am able to step back a little bit today and ponder. I am able to renew the depleted resources that have slowly began to fill with anger and frustration and irritation and disappointment which are fine in small short doses but eventually lead to apathy and a defeatist attitude which will not bode well to this healing process my body is undergoing.

Toby Mac posted a quote on Facebook. He said, "It's ok not to be ok . . . but only for a little while." I was beginning to pass the point of a little while. I will go back to distraction . . . probably tomorrow . . . because the days can be sooo long with nothing to do but neb every 3 hours. But today, I will refill the near empty gas tank with some powerful fuel. God is good - even when it doesn't feel that way. And we need to be reminded that He works all things for good - even when we don't get it. He never promises anywhere in His word that we will be healthy and wealthy and happy - but He does promise scores of times that we will never be alone. He is always with us - whether or not we chose to notice. Today, I'm choosing to notice. Today, I'm going to embrace this time of unhealthiness by taking advantage of the time to listen to some wisdom, adjust my attitude, and be ok again. Because there is always a choice. I can't control so many things right now. And I can't put a band-aid on the areas that hurt physically . . . but I can put a big old band-aid on my heart and my mind and work on health for the rest of the body. Here's to a day of distraction from the distractions.

A Whole Lot of Hoopla

2014-05-06T14:34:00.002-07:00

I've discovered something new!! Our public library system is now connected with a website called "Hoopla" and, with your library card, is basically Netflix for free. You can rent up to 10 movies, TV shows, music cds OR audio books!! I listened to my first book - actually a book I've read before but have been wanting to re-read and it was so fun. It allowed me free hands to continue working on a crochet project or play solitaire on the I-Pad but was also nourishing to my brain. And although I have enjoyed watched movies, I love to read and am normally a voracious reading devouring multiple books a month. It's very frustrating currently, when my hands get so shaky from the breathing treatments and I try to read a book. Now - my book reading is back!!

And speaking of books, you must read this one. Its a true story of a busy woman who passes by an 11 year old little boy panhandling on the streets of New York. He asks her for some spare change and she walks right past. For whatever reason, she turns back around and invites him to lunch at McDonalds. Thus begins a long relationship of lunch dates every Monday. They both learn about trust and love and what it means to be a family. I love this book and would give it a 10 out of 10.

Happy reading . . . or listening!!

350 posts?!

2014-05-03T21:59:00.001-07:00

This is the 350th post here on our family's blog so I thought I'd write out 350 things we like to do . . . just kidding. That's ridiculous. Who could come up with that many? Better yet, who would want to read that many? Instead I will tell you why and how this blog came to be.

We have to go back a few years (no need to count) to when I was in 7th grade. No joke. We're going back that far. I digress. In our little town there were a few elementary schools but only one middle school so we funneled all together and got to meet new people. I was walking the halls one day when I saw a girl who was in one of my classes and I decided she looked nice and I wanted to be her friend. So I did what any middle school girl would do and I invited her to my birthday slumber party. From her end, she thought I was inviting everyone from the class so she decided to go. From my end, I'd only invited a few friends and her. Needless to say, she showed up, we got to know each other and thus began an amazing friendship. We were in a bunch of the same classes, may or may not have skipped class together (definitely not if my mom or daughters are reading this), even double dated one of the school dances each taking a boy named Cam - yes - those kinds of friends. We grew up, had to approve each others fiances, were in each others weddings, celebrated each little baby that joined our families (my two to her six but who's counting?!) and have continued being amazing friends. Our kids are now friends and we all look forward to our (at least) once a year trip to visit them for a few days. I love when we're together. We can pick up right where we left off laughing hysterically at the past, catching up on the present and pondering the future. I adore her to bits and miss her like crazy. Needless to say, years ago, she started a blog www.amongstlovelythings.com. (She is an amazing writer, incredible photographer and is now doing Podcasts so check her out!) Immediately, I was hooked. I felt like we were sitting down together to drink coffee and talk about life. But I quickly realized it was a one sided conversation. I knew what was going on in her world but she had no idea from our end. And I realized how great it was for her other family and friends who lived near and far to also catch up on happenings in their family complete with fantastic photos. I wanted one too.

So . . . the Marsh Family Blog was conceived. Choosing a name was almost like choosing a name for our kids. But then, one of my favorite MOPS speakers came to mind. She was discussing how, in family life, the days are soooo long. It's one repeated task after another that never ends; each day looking almost exactly like the last. BUT, the years are short. Within a blink of an eye, your newborn is a toddler is a kindergartener is a fifth grader is in high school is in college. It resonated so deep within me and truly helped me see our day to day differently. Each little thing in the day-lies matter. And by blogging about it, it's almost like making it count. Hence the name, "The Years are Short" to remind myself that time flies and I need to capture each day. Once I discovered a company called "Blog to Book" that allowed me to print bound copies, it became a scrapbook for our family and all we'd done in the year. It has become a place to share our adventures, log our travels, laugh about the little things, muse about upcoming things, review books and movies, highlight the good and even process the not so good. Each one of the Marsh family has contributed (it's just my luck to be the key representative of such a bunch) and we all love looking back and what's been sent out into the blog-o-sphere. It is for friends and family but mostly for us. We like it. So we've kept it. And now we've written 350 posts.

Still Writing . . .

2014-05-02T14:21:00.002-07:00

Still down . . . still nebbing . . . still watching Netflix . . . still writing down titles . . . still like watching the ever growing list for the sake of watching it grow . . .

With a sometimes confusing jump back and forth between current and past, a young boy learns about the history of his family's home and begins to solve the mystery of a jewel thief all the while awaiting news of his dad's safety in the war. I'm not in love with it but didn't hate it either. How's that for a neutral review?

I went back to my roots with the documentary about the competitive world of Irish step dancing. It was a lot of fun, amazing dances and I couldn't help but fall in love with the little red head who refers to her grandma as "my wee guardian angel and all."

Haley and I watched this movie and laughed our way through the silly antics of two dads who have recently lost their jobs attempt to start a preschool. The kids are hilarious and the story is quite endearing.

The summer between 7th and 8th grade, I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to travel to china with a student delegation program. It was incredible and one of which I'll never forget. This 6 part series showed the culture, people, landscape, and animals of all the regions of China. I was captivated by this visual masterpiece and hung on every word of history and current times. I loved it and would totally watch it again!

This series, about a non-speaking boy with autism and his father's desire/attempt to understand him, is exciting, heartwarming, surprising and fun to watch. Each episode is like a mini-movie as the boy and his numbers or sequences set off clues connecting what seems like completely unrelated people and events in amazing ways. I'm really enjoying watching this show.

ON WEDNESDAY, DISASTER STRUCK. NETFLIX WENT DOWN. IT MAY SEEM LIKE A SMALL ANNOYANCE TO SOME BUT WHEN YOU ARE LAID UP RE-COOPING FOR WEEKS AT A TIME, THE POWER OF A DISTRACTING SHOW OR MOVIE IS MIGHTY. I ALMOST LOST MY MIND. THEN, TRAVIS TOLD ME TO CHECK OUT HULU . . . AND ALL WAS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. THANK YOU HULU FOR FILLING IN THE GAPS.

In the past, I have watched five minutes of each episode of this show after New Girl because my DVR has taped it. It has made me laugh but I had NO idea just how funny it was until now when I've started at Season 1 and laughed my way through episode after episode. Mindy (in real life) is an amazing writer, the cast is fun and the show is just flat hilarious. Some quotes that have cracked me up . . .

* The two most attractive things about a woman are her behind and her brain; the badunkadunk and the bathinkathink

* Oh you gotta get a shower caddy. It falls on you sometimes but it’s worth it

* I’m sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye in person but honestly it’s probably for the best because you would have started to cry then I would have started to cry and nobody wants to see somebody from the army cry because it’s bad for our nation

* I am not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy"

* There’s no such thing as closure. That’s just something Dr. Phil made up and the funeral industry.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

* Midwife - "There is a strong connection between panic and asthma" Mindy - "You can’t just wave a dream catcher at a respiratory condition.

And yes - I have been writing them down because they make me giggle and I wanted to make you giggle too!

In this silly and yet endearing comedy, a daughter is faced with the responsibility of sorting out her father's alleged funeral while dealing with the dynamic between his six wives. It's actually quite sweet and an enjoyable little movie.

Another week clocked in. I wish I had the ability to see into the future and know just how long this madness will last. In the meantime, I'll pretend like I wanted to sit around for days upon days upon weeks at a time. The irony is, if someone gave me permission in the middle of my busy healthy life to put my feet up for a week and watch movies and read books and do crossword puzzles and take naps, I'd jump at the chance and take a stay-cation. Maybe I should pretend that's the case . . .

What would Netfix do Without Me?

2014-04-25T15:42:00.001-07:00

Netflix . . . oh how you continue to entertain me and for that I am grateful. Here continues my homage to your many offerings.

Amazing. Incredible. Powerful. Spanning over 192 countries, hundreds of people and thousands of hours of video footage, this documentary shows what's happening on the earth in one day. It's edited together masterfully going from sun up to sun down and everything in between. Showing simple breakfast eating to the birth of a baby to a teenager's first shave, it strips away any "differences" we may have and leaves a beautiful picture of our similarities as humans. Watch it. It's a subtle yet wonderful movie.

This 8 episode "Downton Abbey" type soap opera follows the dynamic between the "shop girls" and the glamorous people who own and frequent this old English department store. It's a bit of a coming of age as well as a look at the transition that takes place once small businesses begin to be taken over by the first "franchise" of sorts. Fun. Silly. Interesting. Pointless. All rolled into one.

The song we danced to at our wedding almost 13 years ago was the Tony Bennett version of "The Way You Look Tonight." And one of the greatest concerts I've ever been to was when I took my dad (and mom and hubby) to see Tony with Natalie Cole. He epitomizes smooth and jazz and classic and special and I was not disappointed to watch this movie which followed him around recording another record at the age of 85 full of duets of some of the most famous names in music. He crosses all generations and truly has a gift. There is not a whole lot of "real" in music today with all the pre-laid tracks and computer modifications to voices after recording so it was a treat to witness a man who still records with a live band and accepts and appreciates the flaws that come out as to what makes it special. He loves art and painting and sketching and finds joy in beauty and has an amazing philosophy that life is a gift - not a burden and should be lived as such. An inspiring man with a fascinating story and another gentle paced movie to enjoy.

This absolutely beautiful movie of a teenage girl who learns about life from an anonymous letter that mysteriously shows up in her mailbox is a true inspiration. It teaches much about relationship and giving and purpose and won't disappoint. (And may in fact inspire you to write a letter or two!)

How a black and white movie can be so colorful is beyond me but this fun little movie of an escaped princess dying for some freedom stars one of the most timeless beauties, Audrey Hepburn, so you can't go wrong.

With the potential to be extremely bizarre and offbeat, this surprisingly beautiful movie featured amazing performances from all involved and was an inspiration and true journey of a film. It may be a tear jerker for some . . . I found myself with more endearing smiles and am so glad I took a chance on this one. It's a fascinating mix of technology and tradition and family and trust and friendship and health and patience all wrapped in one slightly off beat story. Really, truly, enjoyed it.

This is an insider look at the founding and marketing and running of the "Chipotle" business. Yummy . . . and makes me want to eat there for more than just the taste.

A Bloomberg report on one of the biggest diamond distributors showed the ins and outs never seen and I found it quite interesting that which was still not shown and discussed. Wanted to be more intrigued than I was.

While Travis attended Hannah's honor choir concert, Haley and I watched this new (ish) remake of the classic old movie of two big families coming together with a hilarious result. The kids get into the craziest of adventures as they attempt to break apart a marriage they had no say in. We did a lot of giggling and the ultimate message of family togetherness was sweet. Haley, when asked what she thought said, "It was a movie. It had people in it. It was messy and it was clean and that's the end." Well said my child, well said.

I found this series when my girls were just babies and I adored it. It was started by a mom whose oldest daughter was born deaf and when her son was born hearing, realized how easy it could be to teach all their friends and family to sign in a fun way. We learned so many signs and it was amazing how many they could pick up long before they knew how to talk. We continued it all through the preschool years and I learned a ton too. So much so that when we bought our first house, one of the neighbors was deaf and I was able to loosely communicate with her to the point of mutual understanding because of this series. I was thrilled to find it on Netflix and Haley and I started to go through the series again. Its cute and fun and easy to learn and I'm excited to start back at the beginning.

I can honestly say this was the cheesiest movies I have ever seen. An attempt at an encouraging "faith" movie, the dialogue was ridiculous, the acting was worse, and the culmination of a baby being born in the rain after a "relationship building hike" was enough to make me gag. Wow - there was some wasted time.

Equal parts interesting and disturbing and nauseating look at one of the countries richest families as they build the most expensive biggest home in the country and then begin to lose their wealth with the economic downturn. Some people have waaay to much money and no concept of reality.

I know - I already blogged about this show but I'm still watching more episodes and I still love it. I guess that fairy tale princess never left me. I love watching the crazy plans the bride thinks she's gonna pull off and then David's incredible way of bringing the vision to life in a way no one could imagine. And, I love how he pampers and treats all his brides so they feel as special as they should about their big day. I can't help but think about my wedding when I watch this. In July, we'll have been married for 13 years!! Even though I know the wedding is just a day to kick start a life, it was one of the most incredible days of my life. My mom and I put together most of it ourselves from vision to execution and it was such a fun special process to do together. It was grand and amazing and a dream come true. It would have certainly been a lot less work and a lot more "movie-ish" if we'd had thousands of dollars to hire David for our event but I wouldn't trade the experience we had together nor the amazing touches and things we did ourselves to make the day a whole lot more than a day. Now - off to more drooling over weddings . . . (and listen to the word 'opulent' used more times then I ever knew possible)

I finished this series a few weeks ago but I must give it a shout out as to one of the best I've ever watched. It is fun, fascinating, addicting, well-written and amazing. The new season has started and is currently being DVR'd for me to watch soon. It was/is incredible what nurses do to care for others and in this case, to care for mothers and children. It was before even hospitals were available and yet, the clean, caring, knowledgeable way that these women serve their community is unsurpassed even by today's standards. It is not at all graphic in nature although it does discuss across the board the issues facing women's health and childbirth. It is sweet and you'll fall in love with the characters immediately. As I type, I'm even considering re-watching this one all over again . . . it's truly that good.

This reality show followed four royal princes (from England, Spain and India) as they went under cover in America to try a find a girl who loved them for who they are - not their title or their money. I went into this five episode series expecting a whole lot of cheese and instead I got a super fun show. It was funny and interesting and endearing and I really liked it!!

Another week clocked in. It's been fun discovering new shows, going on adventures to different worlds, learning about different people, laughing at plain craziness, melting to romantic love stories, and being overall distracted while I work through breathing treatments and meds. Thank you once again Netflix for yet another week of rehab.