Martha Invites

Renegotiating too late

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Tue, 7 Feb 2012 07:31:11 -0800

I was reminded by someone yesterday of a wonderful definition of integrity - having the courage to go with the truth as you know it with a heartfelt response with care and consideration for others.

Look at how you are managing your agreements especially with appointments. Cancelling a meeting via email five minutes prior to the meeting time basically tells the other person you had no intention of showing up in the first place (unless of course it is an emergency).

Consider your appointments as a sacred trust with yourself that you will show up. Otherwise don't make the agreement. And, if something is going to interfere with any appointment, it's important to reschedule it in advance so as not to inconvenience others.

Cancelling by email five minutes in advance in my experience is not care and consideration for others. And, if that is what needs to happen given extenuating circumstances, have the courage to call vs email the person waiting for your call.

We all deserve to be treated better by ourselves.

Managing our calendars allows for advance notice.

Refresher

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:54:33 -0800

I have been doing one year follow-up with clients and am appreciating people's willingness to keep up-leveling their systems. What I see over and over is the importance of the physical part of a next action. (A next action is doable, physical, and one step.) The tendency to write down verbs that are mental constructs vs. physical movement stops the flow of action. An example would be analyze budget numbers vs add up budget columns in Excel spreadsheet and compare to last year's budget. The second is a physical action that is doable in one step. The first example is a mental description which doesn't give you the first step. The difference may seem simplistic, but that tiny language difference will move your actions to completion.

Looking vs Thinking

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:03:43 -0800

Watch what you tend to do when someone asks you about your availability or what you are working on. If you go to your mind vs. your calendar then you have an opportunity of letting more go into your systems and allow your mind to rest. There is true freedom when you don't know your schedule and have to look at the calendar. Looking allows the mind to relax and trust on a new level.

Staying out of In

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 00:53:38 -0800

My office internet service has been down for four days. What that meant was a once-a-day trip to the local coffee shop with wi-fi to send and receive email. During the day I could monitor emails on my iPhone but could not respond because replies needed attachments, etc. What is very clear to me after these four days is that the less time we spend checking email, the more we can complete.

Showing up

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 21:59:09 -0800

I am aware more than ever before of the importance of consciously using my time and making only the agreements I intend to keep.

I see many verbal agreements and promises that never make it to completion. Be careful of the things you agree to that you don't write down. Agreements in writing are far more likely to occur.

Showing up for ourselves

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 08:45:02 -0700

Lately I have had a number of clients not show up for phone sessions. I know they would not miss a meeting with their boss. I am guessing a meeting to do a Weekly Review seems like something not so important. What may not be obvious is that every meeting with someone else is first of all a commitment with myself to show up. I experience and know for myself that when I do not show up for myself (or someone else) I pay a big price in the area of self trust. And while not an immediately apparent correlation, it does affect my level of energy, my respect for myself and ultimately my ability to complete. I recently went a few weeks without doing a Weekly Review. While I consciously kept renegotiating the scheduled review with myself on my calendar, I could feel the pull on my attention that I was not doing what I have as an agreement with me, i.e. regular Weekly Reviews. What we tell ourselves we will do matters.

The cost of "checking"

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Fri, 8 Jul 2011 19:19:32 -0700

There is a big hidden cost in the email "checking" behavior. Start counting how many times a day you check email on an iPhone, Blackberry or computer. Each time you check, you reinforce a habit of distraction that keeps you from your best self; your focus and productivity decline significantly. Instead of checking, choose an action to complete and watch your productivity soar.

Tell Yourself in writing

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:32:04 -0700

My friends' kids recently told their mother they would prefer written notes for their chores rather than the incessant verbal reminders.

"Just write it down and then stop talking about it please" was how one of the kids put it.

I bet our mind would like us to just write it down so it doesn't have to keep reminding us...not to mention we would like to stop those constant reminders as well.

Do yourself (and your mind) a favor and tell yourself what to do by putting it in writing.

Endings that finish

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Thu, 12 May 2011 13:21:04 -0700

Notice how you end actions, meetings, and conversations. Do you finish consciously or do you just trail off into something else without actually completing? Or, do you continue talking until someone else interrupts and never actually complete the original conversation?

Do you consciously end your day or fall asleep to a book or the TV?

I was aware today of the increased calm and balance when I take the time to finish what I start.

Conscious placement

martha@martharinger.com (Martha Ringer) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 11:22:31 -0700

A client of mine discovered that she stops what she is doing long before she is finished. She also finds that she has been putting things in unusual places. I suggested that her full attention needs to be placed with her actions all the way to completion, such as until the thing she is putting away lands in its place and settles down. She realized she needs to slow way down for that to happen. Conscious placement of things with our full attention calms the being.