Becoming a statistic

Bachelor #5 was the last guy I had planned to go out with before ending the whole eHarmony shenanigans. It had been a pretty interesting (and for you, entertaining) adventure over the past several months, seeing who turned up online and how they fared on actual dates. But it was also exhausting. The step-by-step process of communicating via an agenda usually took 2-4 weeks to garner a first date. It was repetitive and sometimes boring. And from there (as you already know), each long investment always seemed to fall through. So I was about ready to quit. The experience had been eventfully uneventful, until I met Bachelor #5.

In all honesty, I didn’t think that this last straw would be worth investing the time in considering my previous record. But something in me – maybe it was my Asian guilt over the fact that my friends had spent more than a hundred bucks on this subscription for me; or maybe it was my desire for eHarmony to redeem itself after all those stupid commercials; or maybe it was the last glimmer of hope that I held from my eternal [yet dying] optimism – something told me to give it one last chance.

So #5 wasn’t the most articulate bachelor that I’ve communicated with online, but there seemed to be something different about him. I had been advised by friends to go beyond what was on paper to really make an accurate assessment of the man. [However, I still think that the previous video blog post on really bad communication still holds its own.] So I decided to meet #5…after all, he was the cutest out of the crop and seemed nice.

We decided to meet over after-work drinks, and he was in fact, the cutest out of the crop and really nice. He looked even more handsome than his photos, and he was incredibly sweet. So we moved on to date #2 – dinner at a quaint little Italian restaurant in Noho. We had great conversation, despite the fact that we realized we were complete opposites in many regards (e.g. I almost drowned twice last year, and he’s been a beach lifeguard for almost 10 years)…which we chalked up to being complementary and/or interesting for the other person. We began to define a balance between our interests and personalities. So it was on to date #3 – a quick lunch in the park during the workweek. A few days later, I received two dozen red roses at my office from him, because he was “looking forward to seeing me” on date #4. And my faith in eHarmony was then restored.

We’ve gone on several more dates since then and have grown fonder of each other with each one. Something about this scientific process seemed to have worked, because the chemistry…or “harmony” is finally right. Despite my not wanting to have anything to do with the whole online dating process in the beginning, I’ve become a statistic. I’ve happily relegated myself to being one of those 1 in 5 couples who met each other online.  However, I still refuse to send in our story or a photo of us so that we could potentially become candidates for one of those [still] annoying TV commercials.

Many, many thanks Mathew, for being the scientific geek that you are. You’re right — it’s a numbers game of sorts. I just hope that your little test turns out to be statistically significant after all, with a high confidence rating.

So if you do end up speaking at my wedding, please don’t embarrass me too much.

Over the course of the last few days, I’ve resumed the series. This one was particularly difficult, but I’m pleased with the result. So here it is. Thanks, E. Wong.

I had originally planned to do all three using three different lenses, but that got foiled when I sprained my ankle trying to climb some rocks for a better view… Since I couldn’t climb any higher, I had to swap out my 50mm f/1.4D and shoot the 24-70mm at 40mm. Totally possible though–one day when I’m feeling particularly athletic, I’ll go back and try it again.

The first pic is of the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan skyline from the Brooklyn side (DUMBO). The second is on the bridge and is of the North Tower. The third is from South Street Sea Port and is of the Brooklyn Bridge, Manhattan Bridge, and Williamsburg Bridge (the BMW Trifecta). Pics were taken over the course of three days. Top and bottom are with the 24-70mm f/2.8G. Middle one is with the 20mm f/2.8D.

Title for the photo comes from the Decemberist song Myla Goldberg… See below:

The (beautifully) handwritten check. It’s all in the details…

Salmon cornet.

Started with Oysters and Pearls — Sayayon of Pearl Tapioca with Island reek Oysters and Sterling White Sturgeon Cavier

Fluffy, croissant-esque bread with six imported salts. And, of course, their famous butter that comes from a lady with six eight cows (one named Keller).

Terrine of Hudson Valley Moulard Duck Foie Gras – Field Rhubarb, Freddy Guy’s Hazelnuts, Celery Branch Ribbons, Greek Yogurt, Petite Mint and Aged Balsamic Vinegar with Toasted Brioche. (Side story of the night: when your brioche gets a little cold, they replace it with hot brioche–pretty awesome.)

Chatham Bay Cod “En Croute” – Per Se Chorizo, Pea Tendril Raviolo and Cilantro Shoots with Toasted Almond Butter

Butter Poached Nova Scotia Lobster Mitts – Young Artichokes, Green Garlic, Petite Parsley and Heirloom Carrots with Barigoule Emulsion.

Four Story Hills Farm’s Supreme De Poularde – Brown Butter “Pain Perdu,” Oregon Morel Mushrooms, Wilted Dandelion Greens and Fava Bean Tapenade with Blis Maple Syrup Jus.

Snake River Farm’s Calotte De Beuf – Moelle Confit, Broccolini Tempura, Hakurei Turnips and Braised Spring Onion with Bordelaise Vinaigrette.

Degustation of Hoosick Falls Spring Lamb – Asperges en Deux Facons, Compressed French Breakfast Radishes and Frisee Lettuce with Sauce Gribiche.

Monte Enebro – Croustillant de Pignons de Pin, Roquette Leaves and Red Beet Essence with Sour Cherry Pate de Fruit.

Guava Sorbet – Black Sesame Nougatine and Kiwano Melon with Whipped Green Tea.

Swiss Roll – Chocolate Roulade, Manjari Chocolate Cremex and Chocolate-Covered Banana with Glace a la Creme Fraiche.

Lemon Gingersnaps – Jamaican Gingerbread and Meyer Lemon Marshmallow with Pain d’Epices Ice Cream.

Special Requested Dessert – Coffee and Donuts.

Another little something extra. Vanilla bean creme brulee.

Another something. Yogurt Pot de Cremeux with Hibiscus Jam (we think).

The post-dinner kitchen tour. Immaculate. Unbelievably immaculate.

Ok. A bit about the restaurant.

• It is one of only six three star restaurants in the US.
• They have an in-house florist who does the centerpieces and flowers.
• There is a webcam that goes to Thomas Keller’s other three star restaurant in California (The French Laundry) located in the kitchen–the webcam is mechanized and can zoom, pan, and tilt via remote control.
• There are lots of little nods to French Laundry. For example, blue (nonfunctional) doors at the entrance are identical to those at FL. Also, lamp shades have laundry symbols on them.
• Their most expensive wine is $18,000.
• It’s all about you at this place. We requested a kitchen tour and an off-menu dessert and got both. We also requested paper menus to keep–it comes in its own little folder.
• They start you off with some salmon cornets and gruyere gourgeres–traditional Thomas Keller starters.
• The skyscrapper where Per Se is located, Time Warner Building, subsidizes their rent and also houses Masa–another three star restaurant.
• Thomas Keller’s motto is “product and execution” and he obviously excels at both.

Here it is. I officially have 2/5 Thomas Keller restaurants under my belt. Well on my way to getting all of them before the end of the summer.

Lately, I’ve been trying to avoid bringing out the 24-70mm f/2.8G as much as possible. It’s big and heavy and intimidating… and honestly, I think I’m over zooms. There’s just a magical quality to photos taken with primes. Anyways, my advice to you: if you aren’t shooting with a prime yet, you need to start now.

Also, if you’re going to a tourist hot spot, use the people to add something. Oh, and if you’re particularly lazy (like me) and don’t want to walk all the way over to get a close shot, use foreground framing. Makes you look artsy instead of lazy.

Finally, it just needs to be stated: DC is overrated. In the last year, I’ve gone to DC, Boston, Philly, Rome, Dubai, Cape Town, Durban, San Diego, San Francisco, Paris, LA, and various other cities and I’ve got to say that somehow DC always leaves me feeling dirty inside. Now, whenever I lament that fact that I’m in Boston or New York, I’ll just think to myself, “Hey, it could be worse–you could be in DC.”

Bachelor #1: Tall, dark, semi-handsome. Sweet and charming for an IT fellow. Had a LOT in common, almost too much. A little older than I’d like at 31, ready to settle down and have kids within the first 2.5 dates. I decided that I just wasn’t quite ready for a baby within the next 3 months…and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stop noticing his white socks with dress shoes.

Bachelor #2: Short – in fact, a whole 3” shorter than what was stated on his profile.  Shorter than me. 20 minutes late to drinks (because he was out running an insane number of miles, so he said) and had to call me to find the spot that he had picked out himself. In the spirit of openness, I tried to give him a shot after all this, because he was a seemingly sweet guy…but it boiled down to the height thing. It’s an issue for me because I’m already short at 5’3”.

Bachelor #3: Culturally diverse with a nice mixed-ethnicity-background, extremely polite, respectful, and genuine.  Steady job, lived just outside the city, and charmingly witty (in a sporadic manner). This one had seemed to have potential, but 10.5 hours into our 2 dates, we ran out of things to talk about other than the music skills he had been fine tuning since he was 10. They were fascinating at first, but there was only so much music trivia that I could feign interest in during that uber long period of time. Needless to say, at the end, we just weren’t that into each other.

Bachelor #4: Had long, funky hair in his eHarmony photos and then showed up with a great, short haircut. Although I didn’t find myself physically attracted to him after noticing this (not that I was that attracted to the messy long hair either), I thought, “Hey, how bad could this one really be?” He had told me previously that he was really passionate about giving back to the community, so I thought he had to have some sense of depth to him. Boy was I right about depth, because he turned to me at one point and just blurted out, “You have a nervous laugh, which means you have some unresolved issues. That’s ok. But you still have something you need to resolve so you don’t cover it up with your laugh anymore.” End scene.

So I’m back to the drawing board. It’s been a really weird ride so far, because I keep getting such a funny range of average [?] bachelors in the eH-Inbox. But I am reminded that it’s all a numbers game.  So I will wait patiently to sift through the hundreds more matches that I am scientifically proven to have more chemistry with, to uncover the identity of (a hopefully promising) Bachelor #5…

I know New York. I need New York. I know I need unique New York.

- The Decemberists

My time is slowly ending here and despite all the things I hate about New York, I’m really going to miss it. So here’s the first in a series dedicated to the city I hate to love…

PS – MoMA has gotten crazy with their enforcement of the “No Photography” exhibits.

There’s a saltwater film on the jar of your ashes. I threw them to sea, but a gust blew them backwards and the sting in my eyes that you then inflicted was par for the course–just as when you were living.

Death Cab For Cutie

We finally caught the mouse in our apartment. Despite all the trouble the little guy caused us, I did feel a little sad inside.

Farewell, little guy.

For those of you who think I may be exaggerating about some of the “matches” that I get, you’ll find that this profile excerpt isn’t quite as eHarmonious as you would’ve originally imagined:

“Wonderful music(All kinds of)bring me to the heaven, Singing in the public turn me on…I also think the best way to stay focus and peace in this uproarious world is spending more time on reading. When vacation is coming, I will packed up and grab my camera for traveling with my friends If the god allow me to make 3 wishes to be come true, that will be World Peace, No disease and No wild animal killing.”

I’m down with the “world piece and no disease” part but um, really? How do I get these kinds of matches, you ask? I guess only time, and a scientific experiment will tell…

[And on to the next blog... hit the jump for more.]

It’s been just over a month since I signed up to be an eHarmony soul seeker, and I’ve gotten 302 matches delivered to date. That’s right, throughout this holiday season Santa thought that I would see scientific potential in 302 eligible bachelors. Here’s the rundown:

- 147 of these are currently closed out. This means that I didn’t like them for various reasons (e.g., too short, live too far away, strange statements in their profile, terrible grammar, seem strangely controlling) or they didn’t like me.

- 143 of these are still open. I could potentially communicate with this set…but truthfully, I’m just too lazy to close out 140 of them.

- I’ve gotten 3 nudges (not associated with the three that could still have potential from the previous statistic). Nudges are exactly like Facebook pokes, but I guess it would be odd to “poke” a potential partner on an online dating site.

- 12 – this is the current number of matches I’m actually communicating with. Some have stalled at the early stages of “Guided Communication,” some have never replied back to my prompts, and

- 2 have gotten to “Open Communication.”

- Of these two, one shows promise. I have a pending date with one of these guys… (Yes, my first possible eHarmony date is on the horizon.)

- And the other…well, the below video will illustrate why this has been such an interesting learning process. I don’t even know how to begin to reply to this one, any thoughts?

[Before we get to the video, let me first say it's been quite an amusing experience so far. Every now and then Ms. Guest Blogger sends me a snippet of some of the messages she's received via eHarmony and I have a good laugh. Here's the text of the message--the audio reflects how the voice in my brain is reading the message. Enjoy. - Mat]

[Before the flaming begins, I'm not making fun of the guy for lacking the basic English skills of a 6th grader. That's not it at all. Hey, maybe there really is such a thing as a comma-ellipsis in some crazy foreign language. What I am saying though is the dude is looking for a date and couldn't spend the 20 seconds it would have taken him to proofread his bizarrely short message? C'mon, guy. Put a little effort in it. - Mat]

1. I got engaged.
2. I saw the inauguration of President Obama.
3. I authored my first published paper.
4. I won the Steinhardt Dean’s Grant for Graduate Student Research…
5. …Which allowed me to use NYU money to donate to charities via The COCOA Experiment.
6. And I got three other academic awards…
7. …Which allowed me to spend the summer in Cape Town, South Africa (and Dubai, Rome, Cinque Terre, Paris, and London for that matter).
8. I am officially one class away from my master’s.
9. I traveled over 70,000 miles.
10. Got to level 69 with a kill ratio of 1.46 in Modern Warfare 2 in a little over 2 days of game time. (Oh yes, this does deserve a space on this list.)

In 2010:

1. I’m getting married.
2. I’m finishing my master’s.
3. I’m publishing (at least) two more papers.
4. I’m moving to Boston.
5. I’m either taking the plunge into being a real adult with a real job or remaining a perpetual student in a doctoral program.
6. I’m (probably) going to Ghana.
7. And hopefully more…

Here’s to the unknowns, adventures, and promises fulfilled in 2010. To friends who stuck around. To friends I have yet to meet. To everyone who kept me sane. To my five jobs that kept me busy. To Korean fried chicken. To airplane food, those tiny disposable pillows, and safe travels. To visitors who helped me remember why I loved California. To random phone calls. If next year is half as good and exciting as this one, I’ve got a lot to look forward to.

Cheers.

Decided to take the camera out to brave the New York winter… I’m not going to lie–I didn’t get very far. I took about 25 shots within 3 minutes and then left. Still, these turned out ok.

The bokeh on the 85 f/1.4 will never cease to impress me. Below are a few shots at various apertures–it handles itself well all the way through f/8. You don’t get the ugly discoloration or the hard borders. At f/1.4, you find irregular shaped bokeh on the edges, but you’ll get that with any “old” design lens (and most modern lenses). f/2 is still my favorite aperture in terms of bokeh and sharpness.

Anyways… Merry Christmas, people.