Matthew The Astrologer

The Summer Lovin' Astrology Special!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 20 May 2013 19:02:00 +0000

I really like Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com. She's got Cancer Sun caring and Moon Pluto x-ray vision. Her style is like a comforting bowl of chicken soup... with a matzah ball of practical wisdom. She also reads Tarot!

Me? I like to get a birth chart and break it down like a mechanic, find out where that clunking noise is coming from, and get you back on the road... so to speak. Sure, I have a spiritual approach to life, but at heart I guess I just like fixing things.

Aliza and I have our own very different approaches, but ultimately we seem to be looking at the same picture, even if we describe it differently. And, let's be honest here: if you can't see a relationship from more than just one side... you aren't really seeing the relationship.

That's why Aliza and I have decided to pool our resources on a special, limited-time offer that we like to call

THE SUMMER LOVIN' SPECIAL: Seeing Love From Both Sides

You get two readings about your love life from two different perspectives for one great price!

-If you are in a relationship and it's going well

Why not make it a little better? We'll give you tips and timing based on your birth chart (and your partner's chart) to maximize romantic potential, how and when to avoid the rough spots, and how you can make a good thing even better!

-If you're in a relationship and it's NOT going so well

Maybe you need an outside perspective... or two. What attracts people can often go astray, or other factors can interfere with a situation that once worked more smoothly. Can it be fixed? What should I be doing? What can I learn from this? We'll give you answers!

-If you're not even sure it's a "relationship" at all

Few things in life can cause more confusion than really, honestly not knowing what the hell is going on in the head and/or heart of someone you care about. Let's all have a look together and see if we can make sense of it together.

-If you don't have a relationship but want one

Well then... step right up! We'll tell you how to maximize your appeal, how and why to improve your chances (and the quality of the candidates!), and give you your best timing to make something happen... or to let something find you.

Two thirty-minute consultations from two astrologers, by phone or e-mail, for just $90!

Write today for details!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Sun In Gemini, Uranus Square Pluto Exact

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 20 May 2013 14:30:00 +0000

(SCENE: The waiting room of a therapist's office. There is a row of five chairs, and at one end sits URANUS and the other sits PLUTO. They each have their arms crossed, and are eying each other suspiciously. The door to the therapist's office opens and THE SUN sticks his head out.)

SUN: Oh, hello! Nice to see you! How's everyone doing today?

URANUS: Unreasonably constricted, thank you very much.

PLUTO: Do you have to do everything for shock value, or make everything a joke? (To SUN) This guy is just here to screw with things. I can't work with someone who isn't serious.

URANUS: You're serious enough for a whole Solar System.

PLUTO: You need that. You're undisciplined.

URANUS: Oh, now you sound just like Saturn.

PLUTO: Don't bring up your old conjunctions with me! (To SUN) You see? You see that? That was a deliberate jab --

URANUS: To let you know that not everything can go according to YOUR plan!

PLUTO: (Standing up) I could completely destroy you!

URANUS: (Also standing, rolling up sleeves and making fists) The only thing you've ever destroyed is "a good time"!

SUN: (Standing between the other two to intervene) Hey, hey... planets, please. I understand you have your differences, and I know you aren't really aspecting each other that well right now... but the noise of you two fighting! It's caused all kinds of insanity! No one trusts each other, everyone is broke, all the wrong people have either got it good or got it bad... it's a mess. A real mess, folks. (pause) And you two need to talk to each other and to listen to each other before something breaks.

(URANUS AND PLUTO pause to consider this. They both sit down, one more chair closer to each other than before. They still seem suspicious but are appear willing to play along)

SUN: See? Aren't things a little better already?

PLUTO: (Quietly) Okay. So, we have our issues. But maybe talking to a therapist will help.

URANUS: (to SUN) And I admit you're doing better than I expected, so far. Where did you get your degree?

SUN: Degree? (pause) Oh. (nervous chuckle) I'm not the therapist. Umm... (clearly uncomfortable) Dr. Yablonski died of a heart attack when the bank foreclosed on his underwater home the same week he got his first medical bill for his heart... turns out it was a "pre-existing condition" and wasn't covered. Also, he argued with his Facebook friends a lot without realizing he was losing his real-world connections. And he neglected reaching out to his loved ones, and he wasn't really hearing their concerns either. And he was working himself to death paying off his debts. And frankly all the stress was making him eat terribly. (pause) This was his last week before the layoff, anyway.

(URANUS and PLUTO look at each other with a little bit of guilt)

SUN: I'm no therapist... I just entered Gemini and I realize the value of talking things out. (turns to leave) Now, you two play nice, okay...?

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Venus Sextile Uranus

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Fri, 17 May 2013 16:11:00 +0000

Make a tinfoil sculpture. Donate your change to a cause you've never heard of. Write a love letter on a postcard and mail it to someone you've never met. Write a love letter on a postcard and mail it to yourself. Offer to knit a sweater for the neighbor's dog. Re-arrange the furniture. Put some bean sprouts in your peanut butter sandwich. Meditate in a sports bar.

Do something different. Make it fun. Make it kind. Mostly, just do something different.

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Introducing... THE SAGITTARIUM!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Wed, 15 May 2013 22:45:00 +0000

Tomorrow at 2 PM Eastern, 11 AM Pacific... Astrologydating.com is somewhat proud-ish to present... THE SAGITTARIUM: ASTROLOGY THAT DOESN'T SUCK!

***

Depressed? Confused? Love life stinks? Check yourself into THE SAGITTARIUM for a voluntary stay! Join astrologers Kim-Rogers Gallagher (author of "Astrology For The Light Side Of The Brain" and former editor of "The International Astrologer") and Astrologydating.com's own Matthew Currie on their never-ending quest to shine the light of Astrology into those deep nooks and crannies of life in order to turn up a little Enlightenment.

YOU'LL HEAR:

CURRENT CONDITIONS: Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter in Gemini... time to switch to decaf?

CELEBRITY ASTROLOGY: What makes Whoopi Goldberg great, why Justin Bieber is having a bad time, and why (according to one of us at least) the two of them should get married immediately!

HOW NOT TO EXPLAIN ASTROLOGY TO BEGINNERS: The Book says I'm a terrible person because I have Venus in Scorpio! Is The Book right about me?

Oh, and laughs. There Will Be Laughs.

***

TOMORROW (AND EVERY THURSDAY) ON BLOGTALK RADIO
CLICK HERE TO SET A REMINDER, LISTEN LIVE, OR CATCH THE PODCAST!

Feel like giving us a call live? Try (347) 677-1820 and someone might answer!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Mercury Enters Gemini

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Wed, 15 May 2013 16:35:00 +0000

Hello? Hello?

Blah blah blah YOUR ASSIGNMENT blah blah blah blah blah blah BETWEEN NOW AND THE 3OTH? blah blah blah SPEAK UP! SPEAK YOUR blah blah blah blah blah blah MIND! JUST REMEMBER blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah THAT OTHER PEOPLE blah blah ARE TRYING blah TO SPEAK UP TOO, AND MAYBE blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah YOU SHOULD STOP blah blah blah blah blah blah TO LISTEN blah blah blah ONCE IN A WHILE blah.

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Venus Square Neptune

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 13 May 2013 13:30:00 +0000

MALE PIGEON: I don't care how wrong our forbidden our love is! For I am The Mighty Eagle, and I take what I want!

FEMALE PIGEON: Take me! For I am The Swan Of Your Dreams!

MALE PIGEON: I'm going to make passionate love to you ALL NIGHT LONG! (MALE PIGEON hops on top of FEMALE PIGEON and begins thrusting) And our children will grow up to be dragons! Dragons who are doctors and lawyers! (He finishes and hops back to the ground)

(There is an awkward pause as the two pigeons contemplate each other -- and realize that they are just pigeons after all. And not very exceptional ones at that.)

FEMALE PIGEON: That was, um... nice.

MALE PIGEON: Yeah, hey... Uh, I gotta go. See you around.

FEMALE PIGEON: Yeah, sure, you bet.

***

Today could be a wonderful day for romance... or delusion. Sometimes both. Use a little discernment.

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Moon Void Of Course In Gemini For Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Sun, 12 May 2013 14:00:00 +0000

Hello? Hi, Mom? Happy Mother's Day!
Sorry, wrong number. (click)

***

Hi, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!
Still the wrong number. (click)

***

Wait. Mom: This time before you hang up, there's something I have to say. I've been talking to a therapist about my abandonment issues I got when I was a kid, and well... I just wanted you to know that I understand. I now appreciate where you were coming from all those years. I know that you were really just doing the best you could under the circumstances, and that you were emotionally starved that whole time you were raising me... or thought you were raising me... and the point I guess I'm trying to make here is --

(click)

***

...IS THAT I FORGIVE YOU! Whew. There. I said it.
Listen pal: I don't know who you think you're calling, but my name is Frank.

I knew that. I just called because I felt it had to be said. My actual Mother won't even answer the phone. So... Happy Mother's Day, Frank!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Astrological Weather Alert For Those Born 1965-1968

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Sat, 11 May 2013 19:57:00 +0000

Between now and about the 25th of this month, Jupiter will be passing from 19 to 24 degree Gemini. Although the individual effects of this transit will vary based on the details of your birth chart, those of you born between 1965 and 1968 will feel the effects in a way very specific to your age group: namely, Jupiter will be square your natal Uranus and Pluto.

Transiting Jupiter square your Uranus can bring unexpected shifts in your "luck"... whether for good or bad, it's usually unexpected and can be a little disruptive. One way or another, a change is probably called for. Feel free to break loose from the things that are trying to break you!

Transiting Jupiter square your Pluto can bring a strong sense of personal power -- strong enough to overcome the resistance you are likely to face. De-constructing and re-constructing some of the major factors in your life can be useful and profitable... and sometimes, it's just flat-out mandatory.

The individual effects will be dependent on the house placement of your Uranus-Pluto conjunction and what Houses of your chart they rule. Even without that information, though: consider how the above could manifest itself in your life in the next couple of weeks. If the results are unpleasant or off-kilter... fear not. It will pass. Want further details, or maybe a reading? CLICK HERE to contact me, and get a free e-book!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Moon And Jupiter in Gemini, Sextile Uranus

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Sat, 11 May 2013 18:23:00 +0000

Your ideas are fresh and inventive today, and innovative thinking abounds.

Now could you just please sit down, shut up and actually DO something with it before we have to revoke your caffeine privileges COMPLETELY? Jeez, dude... seriously. Focus a little, will ya?

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Shooting The Rapids With A Guide: The Relationship Diagnostic

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Fri, 10 May 2013 22:35:00 +0000

If you've ever had a relationship that started well, flourished, then died... or even if you've just seen one that went that way... you know that "compatibility" is a much more complex matter than simply "are we compatible"? I sometimes wonder if astrology isn't occasionally doing a disservice to the rich complexity of interpersonal relations by focusing on "compatibility." After all, lots of people who are compatible enough to get married are later incompatible enough to get divorced, right?

***

"The sex is great, so why can't we communicate outside of the bedroom?" (His Mars in Capricorn is sextile your Venus, but square your Mercury. Mars in Capricorn does good work, but sometimes needs direction)

"She used to do thoughtful little things, but now all she does is nag." (Her Moon in Virgo is thoughtful, but doesn't forget little affronts easily)

"He was so affectionate at first... why has he become distant and withdrawn?" (his Jupiter still works well with your chart... but now Saturn is squaring that, making him doubtful about things)

***

Heraclitus said "you can't set foot in the same river twice, for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you." On the one hand this is obviously true, and on the other... it really IS the same river, with the same bends and rapids. Humans, and the relationships between them, are like that. That's why, when attempting to shoot the white-water rapids of another person's feelings, it's a good thing to have a guide along.

My Relationship Diagnostic can give you the goods on who you both were, and are, and could be. The river has twists and turns, and sometimes you need a navigator who can see the whole picture -- not just where you are right now. Write me for details!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Eclipse Fever!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Thu, 09 May 2013 15:30:00 +0000

Confused? Lovelorn? Broke? Congested? You could be getting some big results from today's Solar Eclipse in Taurus! Find out what you might be able to expect!

2 PM Eastern 11 AM Pacific

CLICK HERE TO SET A REMINDER, LISTEN LIVE, OR CATCH THE PODCAST!

But wait, there's more! At 2:30 PM eastern/11:30 AM Pacific, I'll be joined by legendary astrologer and author Kim Rogers-Gallagher!

Ready for the big eclipses coming up? Read more HERE

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: I'm Coming To Get You, Rose Tyler

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 06 May 2013 18:22:00 +0000

Moon in Aries today, with Mars trine Pluto:

(SCENE: The Doctor is completely surrounded by hordes of his greatest enemy, the evil extraterrestrial conquerors known as The Daleks. The Daleks has captured The Doctor's companion, Rose Tyler. The enemy is heavily armed and well-provisioned, whereas our hero apparently has nothing. This does not appear to deter The Doctor at all.)

Dalek: The Dalek strategem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.

The Doctor: Oh really? Why's that, then?

Dalek: We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated.

The Doctor: No.

Dalek: Explain yourself.

The Doctor: I said, "No."

Dalek: What is the meaning of this negative?

The Doctor: It means, "No."

Dalek: But she will be destroyed!

The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth. And then—just to finish off—I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!

Dalek: But you have no weapons, no defenses, no plan!

The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?

Rose: Yes, Doctor?

The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.

Ready for the big eclipses coming up? Read more HERE

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Mars Trine Pluto

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 06 May 2013 01:05:00 +0000

PRO:

In the next couple of days you will have excellent opportunities to confront long-standing obstacles, identify the areas of your life that need to be changed, and make significant progress. Whatever has held you back for so long now may finally yield to your wisely and carefully-applied, goal-oriented strength.

CON:

You take a mortal man,
And put him in control
Watch him become a god,
Watch peoples heads a'roll
A'roll...

Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction!

-Megadeth, "Symphony Of Destruction"

Ready for the big eclipses coming up? Read more HERE

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Eclipse Preparation Lessons, Part One: Understand Your Resources

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Sat, 04 May 2013 19:52:00 +0000

(The following is an excerpt from the Astrological Civil Defense Council/Reaction Undertaking Liaison-Education Service (ACDC/RULES) pamphlet on the upcoming eclipses May 9th and May 25th. Forewarned is forearmed!)

***

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this going to hurt?
On one level or another, almost certainly. But hey, that's life, right? The best we can hope for is to prepare, strengthen our resolve, and remind ourselves that we've been through painful things before and are now better people for it.

But, I'm NOT a better person because of my suffering. Suffering sucks!
Okay, sure, it sucks. But really, it's what we do with the cards we are dealt the things that make us who we are.

Is there anywhere I can hide from these eclipses?
No. But at least now you're asking "what can I do?" instead of "what will happen," which is a start.

Gotcha. So: what can I do?
Glad you asked! Read on...

***

Examine Your Foundations For Cracks And Structural Flaws

The May 9th New Moon eclipse features The Sun and Moon conjunct at 19 degrees Taurus.

1) Locate the House that falls into in your birth chart. This is an area of your life that is likely to see some shaking and surprises between now and the next eclipse.

2) Find the planets and placements in your chart (if any) that are closely aspected by 19 degrees Taurus. The things these planets/placements rule are most likely to be affected by the eclipse. If the aspect is a nice frindly trine or sextile, don't automatically assume it will all be good news, and if we're talking about squares and oppositions, don't assume it's going to be ugly.

Gather Supplies And Prepare For Possible Temporary Shortages

Because this is an eclipse in Taurus, there is some chance that there will also be an economic/work-related effect. Also, no harm in making sure your health habits are running properly... Taurus has a reputation for wanting to break its diet, and few things provide better comfort in times of trouble better than a couple of extra cupcakes.

Check For Leaks In The Basement

Neptune isn't that big a player in this eclipse... but it plays a more prominent role in the eclipse on the 25th.

Now that you've done all that, you should have at least some idea as to how the May 9th eclipse will affect you and the people around you. If you haven't worked those chart placements out, or are uncertain how they will affect you, CLICK HERE and scroll down for further details on this month's Blue Plate Special!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Mercury Sextile Neptune

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Fri, 03 May 2013 20:34:00 +0000

I think of you all the time.

I admire the precision of your work.

You are the world to me.

Your appearance is particularly appealing today.

I breathe only for you.

You efficiently combine intelligence and drive

Will you marry me?

Can I get a raise?

***

Communicating your deepest hopes and wishes to someone should work out well today... provided you focus both hemispheres of your brain on the task.

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Love And Sex In The Stars: Much Facebook Love!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:24:00 +0000

The intersection of astrology and human hearts -- who knows what things collide there? We do! Join Hilary and Matthew every week for fun, advice, tea and sympathy as we delve deep into the darkest reaches of the human heart and shine a little starlight in!

THIS EPISODE: It's Just us, Facebook fellows. We're going to go through the Signs and give a personal shout-out to people we love on Facebook, and why they represent the best of their Sun Sign. Listen in: you might be mentioned!

Today at 2 PM Eastern, 11 AM Pacific

CLICK HERE TO SET A REMINDER, LISTEN LIVE, OR CATCH THE PODCAST!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

Love And Sex In The Stars: Eric Francis!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 15:46:00 +0000

The intersection of astrology and human hearts -- who knows what things collide there? We do! Join Hilary and Matthew every week for fun, advice, tea and sympathy as we delve deep into the darkest reaches of the human heart and shine a little starlight in!

THIS EPISODE: Eric Francis of Planet Waves FM... we'll be talking about love, sex, polyamory, Monsanto, astrological research... just tune in. We'll cover a lot of ground and it will all be fascinating!

Today at 2 PM Eastern (11 AM Pacific)

CLICK HERE TO SET A REMINDER, LISTEN LIVE, OR TO HEAR THE PODCAST!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Mars Sextile Neptune

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:30:00 +0000

"Hey, how are ya? Damn, if you don't mind me saying so, you folks look great today! I'm glad you could drop by -- free hot dogs and balloons for the kids! Of course, what kids really love is a safe, dependable ride, am I right? And one that's so affordable too!

Listen: I like you. That's why I've got a minivan here for you I wouldn't offer just anyone. Besides, it's our Mars Sextile Neptune Sale! You've had unfilled needs and frustrations, right? Mars is here to help you plow through them! And of course, Neptune represents all your dreams and fondest wishes. Put 'em together, and you've got a recipe for buying this minivan! The pros in our shop did such a good job on it, you can hardly tell it was totalled TWICE! And look at the size of these cup holders!"

***

Yes, you have the charm and the inspiration to get what you want to today. Just try to avoid any Buyer's Regret.

More about readings HERE

My guest on the Blogtalkradio show this Monday: Eric Francis!

The Daily Sky: Lunar Eclipse In Scorpio

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:30:00 +0000

Lunar eclipses used to be "blood on the Moon," but hey... that's a bit too scary for us, isn't it? I mean after all... isn't the mere word "Scorpio" enough to induce chills, some days?

With Mars conjunct the Sun during this eclipse, a little blood imagery may be called for... at least in the "gets your blood pumping" sense. The Sun, Moon and Mars are aspected by Neptune for this eclipse Whatever obstacles you've faced lately, you've got an excellent chance to overcome them... and for once, faith in Your Higher Power (or however you feel about these things) can be of practical use.

If you have major placements in the first ten degrees of the Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius), brace for impact and pray for the best, and with a little luck and skill you'll come out ahead.

The Big Changes you need in your life are at hand. Find where 5-6 degree Taurus and Scorpio are in your birth chart, and that will be your first clue as to how to proceed. Hey... that might be the sort of thing you'd like to contact an astrologer about!

More about readings HERE

My guest on the Blogtalkradio show this Monday: Eric Francis!

Love And Sex In The Stars: Michael Lutin!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:56:00 +0000

The intersection of astrology and human hearts -- who knows what things collide there? We do! Join Hilary and Matthew every week for fun, advice, tea and sympathy as we delve deep into the darkest reaches of the human heart and shine a little starlight in!

THIS EPISODE: The man, the myth, the astrological legend... Michael Lutin. Former astrologer with Vanity Fair magazine, current astrological guru, and all-around highly entertaining dude He's been an entertaining and enlightening guest before, and we'll be talking about major world events, what's happening astrologically right now... and maybe even a bit about YOU!

Tomorrow at 2 PM Eastern (11 AM Pacific)

CLICK HERE TO SET A REMINDER, LISTEN LIVE, OR CATCH THE PODCAST!

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Moon Void Of Course In Virgo, All Day Long

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Today might be the day you finally decide to take bold action in your life. Maybe all your work life needs is to have all your projects listed by size rather than alphabetically. Or perhaps your love life issues can be resolved successfully if you and your partner agree to discuss your issues via sock puppets and role-playing rather than by actual conversation. Or perhaps that ongoing rumble in your intestines might be cured once and for all if you just go on a Cave Protein Diet with regular kombucha enemas.

...Or maybe you should just admit that complex issues don't always have simple, neat, logical solutions. Either way, when the Moon is Void Of Course, permanent solutions aren't likely to be found. So don't sweat it: there's always tomorrow.

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

The Daily Sky: Mercury Square Pluto

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 12:30:00 +0000

And now, a handy English-Lithuanian Translation Guide For Native English Speakers On Vacation::

***

"Excuse me, but can you tell me which way to the train station?"

HEY! HEY YOU! WHERE THE HELL IS THE DAMNED TRAIN STATION?

"Can you please direct me to an affordable restaurant?"

DAMMIT I HAVEN'T EATEN ALL DAY LONG! WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP THE FOOD HERE? AND DON'T SCREW ME ON THE PRICE!

"Does anyone here speak English?"

HEY! I'M TALKIN' TO YOU! ARE YOU LISTENING? AT ALL? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

"Please help me. I require assistance."

WE COULD NUKE THIS PLACE OFF THE MAP IN AN INSTANT, PAL!

***

Today's lesson: if your message isn't getting through, maybe turning the volume up isn't really going to help.

More about readings HERE

The Blogtalkradio show is HERE

About Readings

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 21:02:00 +0000

A reading (astrological consultation) can give you direction, clarity, insight... and just maybe, it can change your life! Learn more about yourself and the people around you. I've recently repriced my services in order to reach a wider range of people with a wider range of questions and concerns. Have a look -- if you have a lot of questions, or just one -- be it about love, money, employment, health, career, family, children, moving, travel, happiness and well-being, life direction, or whatever -- there's something here for you.

Contact me for details and you get a free e-book, too!

ONE QUESTION: $20
(And no, that's not just a "yes or no" answer... includes background information and timing. Can be done via e-mail or by phone, with free follow-up!)

MONTHLY FORECAST: $40
(Covers all the major transits and astrological events for a monthly period. Again, can be done via e-mail or phone, with free follow-up)

RELATIONSHIP DIAGNOSTIC: $60
Why are you and so-and-so not getting along lately? Is this the right one for me? Hey, when AM I going to meet someone, anyway? All these and more can be answered with a RELATIONSHIP DIAGNOSTIC reading. Free follow-up too! More on the Relationship Diagnostic HERE.

FULL READING: $125
An hour (or more if needed) covering everything and anything you want to know about, past present or future. By phone, with free follow-up.

THIS MONTH'S BLUE PLATE SPECIAL:

The Summer Lovin' Astrology Special!

Whatever the state of your love life... from happy to non-existent... get not one but TWO readings from me and Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com! Full details HERE!

$90.00

Write me and find out more!

The Daily Sky: Sun Conjunct Mars In Aries

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 03:25:00 +0000

“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.”

-Ray Bradbury

***

You have the energy to get what you want today... but is that what you really want?

More about what I do HERE

The blogtalkradio show is HERE

Love And Sex In The Stars: More with Tosha Silver!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew The Astrologer) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:14:00 +0000

The intersection of astrology and human hearts -- who knows what things collide there? We do! Join Hilary and Matthew every week for fun, advice, tea and sympathy as we delve deep into the darkest reaches of the human heart and shine a little starlight in!

THIS EPISODE: We are honored with the return of TOSHA SILVER, author of "Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead." More amazing tales of one soul finding her way through the darkness, with a bit of an assist from various Deities and the occasional synchronicity. Tosha is always entertaining and always enlightening... and yes, just a bit outrageous too!

Today at 2 PM Eastern 11 AM Pacific

CLICK HERE TO SET A REMINDER, LISTEN LIVE, OR CATCH THE PODCAST!

More about what I do HERE

The blogtalkradio show is HERE