The Journey

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Max — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 13:50:46 +0000

As ever much is going on in my life, and as ever I am trying to cull activities that need to go. Recently, with work, study and ministry some fiends were concerned about me taking on an area within ministry because of my busyness. Whether I end up taking on that area or not is irrelevant to me. But what isn’t, is the fact that I don’t want to be so busy doing things Max’s wants to do, in ministry or outside, that I have no room for the things that I think God wants Max to do. So in the words of a certain song writer, times they are a changin.

Work it is a changin', as I shall be ending my contract at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children which is a very sad thing. It's my decision and a wise one I hope, but I shall be sad to leave both friends and the hospital behind. GOSH has been good for me and I hope in turn have been able to give theme value for money. I think it is both right for me and seems to be a time that is right for GOSH, where my future would be uncertain anyway. I am never truly happy when leaving behind a contract, and often look back to see how I would do things differently. I do hope that on the whole I brought some benefit. Moving forward I shall be joining a new customer who is in the middle of a major transition. It will mean road travel rather then train, but overall will be less time traveling each day, by an hour or so.

CBSA (my web company) it is a changin', as I step back from the web work. My web work, developing sites, and consulting on Internet technologies has all way been a passion as well as a source of income. I had always planned to keep this string to my bow moving forward, as an extra source of income, but increasingly have felt ill at peace with this idea. Over the last year and again In particular whilst away last week I began to question whether the willingness to drop this (at least for a season) was not more about an escape route then anything else. I think that part of my wish to hold on to it, is about a concern as to whether God will provide in my ministry in the future. I somehow justified that Paul was a tent maker so it was OK. But actually Paul gave up the right to an income (1 Corinthians 9:13-18) through his ministry; he did not have an escape route. I am not suggesting for one moment that Pastors should not have any other income, I think this is more about me putting my faith in God, and I do hope that a time will come in the future when I can pick it up again. I have worked closely with a new young designer over the last year, and will be handing any old and new customers to him as I remove myself from this business over the next year. I will still host my own and close friends sites, which is not part of the income source.

Finally and not entirely tied in with the theme of time, waistlines they are a changin', or at least they had better. The eagle eyed amongst you will have spotted what I have entitled, "embarrassment accountability" section on my home page. I had a conversation with someone who I shall loosely called a mate whilst away last week. It was the usual mucking around in a pub after dinner and he asked how much I weighed. He nearly split his sides when I said just over 13 stone. Words like "never" and "no way" are not kind. I really did think I weighed about that, so I was gob smacked when I stood on the scales the other day and weighed over a stone more. So back to exercise and eating more sensibly it is, after the long time off with the knee last year. If you are sad enough to want to see how I am doing you can at www.cross.org.uk, or you can simple use it to ridicule me.

So the times they are a changin', aren’t they always?

My Gift To You

Max — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 07:52:59 +0000

It's 7 oclock in the morning on 25th December 2011. Yes it's Christmas day and I am the only one awake. I've been awake for an hour now which tends to be my normal rising time, even when not a work day. However it does seem funny, as I look back over the years to know that the three great kids (one is nearly 18) are still snuggled in bed asleep on Christmas day. Their Mum often wakes with me, but after the busyness of the celebrations that come with being a Children’s worker, this year she slumbers as well.

So I turn to you my friends at this time and wish you a very happy day, on what I often term the Main Mans birthday. As I do so I think of friends old, some in the time that we have known each other, some in the their years. Friends who took us under their wing, as we became new parents and believers within the same couple of years, nearly eighteen years ago. Their ailments never seem to completely leave them now, but their wisdom has also remained the same, and I am grateful for the gift of their input in my life. Friends who are old because they have known us for a long time, some of whom we will meet tomorrow at the "Hamsters Nose". They know the daft stuff I have done in the past. The Bus in the fort, the frequent exits from moving motorbikes, the loud, brash, attention seeking yet nervous lad that a slightly fraught school life produced. I thank you for the gift of sticking around for the long haul. Finally friends who have just recently joined, many of you will bring wisdom and some of you will stay for the long haul and for that I am also grateful. Some of you are just passing through, and I will treasure the time we have together. I thank you for your gift of friendship in the now.

What of my gift to you? If you have been around for more then two minutes, you will know that the chances of a card at Christmas or on your birthdays are remote. It’s probably not fair that I project my lack of interest in a piece of pre printed sentiment on to you, but hey it is you who choose to be my friend, so I hope your will forgive me. This year as you may know if you are on Facebook the money we don't spend on cards is going to http://www.greatlakesoutreach.org and the work they do in Burundi. Perhaps I should take after Wendy & Mark and send a newsletter each year. It's something we read with eagerness when it turns up. But Wendy is way better prepared then I am. Lets be real even this note, is because I happen to be up on my own early on Christmas day. My faith would suggest that my gift to you would be telling you about the love of Jesus, and my whole heart cries out that you investigate what that would mean to you. But then again you are probably already aware that I would desire this, and it’s your choice. I guess my gift to you is that Ill do what I can. I am by no means any sort of example of what a Christian should be, or even just what good bloke should be. But today my gift to you is if you need me, Ill do what I can. It’s not much, but as I begin to hear the noises of a waking house I hope you enjoy unwrapping it. Oh and I do wish you a Happy Christmas on the Main Mans Birthday.

Love Max.

Psalm 151

Max — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 14:26:26 +0000

Wow it has been a while to say the least. My Bishops Advisory Panel was way back in May. As my update to that post said, they did recommend me form training. So of to STETS I went in early September to begin my training. A three year distance-learning course where I am supposed to study 17 hours a week on top of the 9-5 (if only) job. At the end of that apparently I shall “be equipped” to be a leader within the Church. From what I understand I might be equipped to begin learning about being a leader with the Church, but you have to start somewhere.

Anyway just as I began the study, my 9-5 stopped even pretending that it was going to only take 40 hours a week from me. I ended up doing 6 or 7 days a week, and working late into the night most days, squeezing what little study I could into my life on the train journeys. The long and short of it was that my study got of to a bad start, and the bags under my eyes developed a deep darkness that worried me, let alone my family. My family rallied around me despite my grumpiness and lack of attentiveness to them, and yes we did get through it.

There were times mind you; that I really did not know how I was going to get through the next 24 hours without exploding of exhaustion or frustration. It was at these times that I finally remembered that I was supposed to have handed this stuff over to God. Funny how amongst the slow build of these things, we can forget that God is there for us all the time, not just in the disasters. This came to mind last night in cell group. We were putting together our own modern day Psalms as a reflection of our worship. I am no poet, and I literally wrote it down within 5 minutes, so it’s certainly no masterpiece. But looking back at it, I realised it did come out of the last few months of my life. I called it Psalm 151, not because it is supposed to replace Psalm 151 from the Septuagint, but because most translations of the Psalms finish at 150. For what it’s worth here it is:

Psalm 151

God you are above all things.
Your power is greater then thunder.
You can be trusted more then gold.
You are always the same.

Lord I was tired and at the end of my tether
You came and reached out to me.
I didn't known which way to turn.
You told me it would be ok.

Why would you do this for me lord?
Why is it that you seek me out?
Why do you care to pick me up?
What am I to you?

Father your care is beyond my understanding.
Lord you your steadfastness is a rock to me.
Spirit your comfort in the dark, is needed by me.
God you are my one true light, and I seek to know you more.

I am glad to say that things have returned to a more normal busy, rather then stupid busy. Study is back on track and my family now recognise who I am. I am also happy to report that a recent short break in Turkey, enabled me to make my apologies to my family, and God.

On My iPad

Max — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 05:54:56 +0000

Not entirely a post that relates to my journey, but more a tool that I use daily or in reality hourly, whilst I travel on this journey of mine.

I am a big user of my iPad and am constantly asked what applications I use. I always kept a note of these in my Evernote account to email people who asked. Then it dawned on me that others may find it useful, so I decided to post it somewhere. These are not the only apps, but they are the apps that see daily use, and have stuck around whilst others have come and gone. I have not included the built in apps such as safari, mail and calendar which as you could imagine also get constant use.

There is obviously a biase towards my interests, but for what it's worth here is the list.

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Home Screen
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Dropbox - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/dropbox/id327630330?mt=8
Access files away from my PC that I have saved into my Dropbox folder. Use htttp://www.CBSA.net/dropbox to sign up for a FREE Dropbox account, or your toes will fall off.

Evernote - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/simplenote/id289429962?mt=8
Create and syncronise to cloud different notes I user for everything other then my diary which I use SimpleNote for, because Simplenote integrates TextExpander.

SimpleNote - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/simplenote/id289429962?mt=8
Create and syncronise to cloud basic text notes works with TextExpander.

GoodReader - £2.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/goodreader-for-ipad/id363448914?mt=8
General Document reader. PDFs / Doc etc. Can sync to DropBox. Can annotate pdfs and now has tabs for multiple pdfs.

Calculator4 - .59p - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/calculator-4-ipad-edition/id387648188?mt=8
There is no calculator on the iPad. Free ones are available, I just like this advert and clutter free version.

Twitter - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/twitter/id333903271?mt=8
Twitter client.

Gmail Short Cut. - FREE - http://mail.google.com
The iPad version of Gmails client is great. Goto the URL in Safari. Tap on the icon at the top eft of the page that looks like a box with an arrow coming out of it. Select "Add to Home Screen".

Facebook short cut - FREE - http://www.facebook.com
Goto the URL in Safari. Tap on the icon at the top eft of the page that looks like a box with an arrow coming out of it. Select "Add to Home Screen".

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Reading
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BibleReader - .59p - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/biblereader/id287455446?mt=8
As it says from Olive Tree. Bibles in the price range of $20 comes with KJ

Bible - Free - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/bible/id282935706?mt=8
More basic interface, but integrates with the great www.youversion.com. Incredibly offers versions like ESV for free offline reading. Improving all the time.

Reeder - £1.79 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/reeder/id325502379?mt=8
Synronise with Google news feeds.

Kindle - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/kindle/id302584613?mt=8
I prefer Amazon books to iBooks.

Early Edition - £2.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-early-edition/id363496943?mt=8
I use this to create a daily paper from news feeds.

InstaPaper - £2.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/instapaper/id288545208?mt=8
Install the InstaPaper shortcut in your browser and clip websites for reading later. I mainly purchased this to support the developer. I generally pump the RSS feed from my free http://www.instapaper.com account into my RSS reader.

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Office
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QuickOffice Pro HD - 8.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/quickoffice-pro-hd/id376212724?mt=8
I switched to Quick Office for word, excel, powerpoint editing etc from DocsToGo slightly nicer DropBox integration and layout.

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Entertainment
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BBC iPlayer - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/bbc-iplayer/id416580485?mt=8
Plays BBC content. Not offline ;-(

4oD Catch Up - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/4od-catch-up/id432494037?mt=8
Plays Channel 4 content. Not offline ;-(

ITV Player - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/itv-player/id446079916?mt=8
Plays ITV content. Not offline ;-(

BBC News FREE http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/bbc-news/id377382255?mt=8
Nice front end to the BBC news site.

Downcast - £1.19 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/downcast/id393858566?mt=8
I prefer to manage my podcasts outside of iTunes. No real reason other then I like to be able to update them away from my PC.

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Games - Heads up I'm not a real games person.
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Words HD - £1.79 / FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/words-with-friends-hd/id364140796?mt=8
Scrabble like game.

Chess.com - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/chess.com-play-learn-chess/id329218549?mt=8
Play against online opponents for free.

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Utilities
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Textexpander - £2.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/textexpander/id326180690?mt=8
Integrates into some applications to allow macro insertion of text. Less useful for the non geeks now that IOS5 allows you to add your own corrections to the dictionary database.

LogMeIn Ignition - £17.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/logmein-ignition/id299616801?mt=8
Worth every penny if you want access to your home PC whilst on the road. Get a free LogMeIn account and you can remote control your home PC, or simply access the files on it. Obviously requires your home PC to be on and a free app to be installed.

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Honourable Mention (Used less these days)
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QuickShot - -
Camaera apps that syncs to Dropbox. I use for document scanning into Dropxbox.

AllRecipes - FREE - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/id399919379?mt=8
Fun front end for www.AllRecipes.com

Documents To Go £5.99 - http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/documents-to-go-office-suite/id317117961?...
Office suite editor. I use QuickOffice more these days.

But please...

Max — Thu, 12 May 2011 12:22:51 +0000

I thought a very quick update was in order for those that are interested and have been praying. I arrived back home from Ely late last night, exhausted but happy to have gone through the previous three days at the panel.

I described the process in an email to some friends as “the most polite and yet complete and challenging interview/grilling I have ever gone through.” Three days of interviews, presentations and discussion groups, wouldn’t have been something that I would have expected to take so much out of me both emotionally and physically. Whilst I already understood that I cared, I probably verbalised it best on day three. The reason was that I didn’t just want a positive answer; I really did care about the result. This wasn’t about a new contract or job this was about a whole change of life, a calling, and the belief I would do what God wanted me to do. So I still do want God’s will to be done, but I also know now how much I really do want the answer to be one that means I can moved forward. We will deal with the outcome and impact of that whatever way that goes, when we find out towards the end of the month. It was a joy to be there with the other twelve lads and lasses going through the process, and the seven advisors made it as smooth and enjoyable as possible. Whatever the result the three days did confirm to me, not that I needed confirmation, that God is moving me towards something. I do believe that the “something” is leadership within his Church, and will continue to pray that I have discerned his will correctly.

So as I said a very brief update, but I will update further as soon as I have, received and digested the result, and what that result means.

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Update: They did recommend me for training (Yippee). More thoughts on this to come over the summer.
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Not my will, but yours, be done

Max — Sun, 08 May 2011 14:51:18 +0000

"Not my will, but yours, be done.” These words from Luke's gospel have become almost a mantra to me over the last couple of years. They are words that I whole-heartedly want to live my life by. I reflect on comments from previous post, and think to myself that if we believe, what we believe, then we will want our life to reflect the will of the creator of the universe. To not want to live the life that God has for me would be ridiculous. And yet as ever actually living the words that come out of our mouths is so much harder, then just verbalising these actions.

Tomorrow I go off to spend three days with a bunch of ladies and gentleman who will have a profound impact on my life. They will decide whether I am to go forward for training within the Church of England. They will try and discern Gods will in my life. Over the last two years that this process has been slowly moving forward, I have developed a trust in the process, but I still sit here thinking that it must be a daunting task to those advisors on the panel. Most of my discernment of Gods will in my life is based around a mixture of prayer and confirmation, which involves extended periods of time. These poor people have to make recommendations based upon information provided ahead of time, as well as observation and pray over three days or so. And at the end of it all Gods will for my life will be discerned, or at least our best understanding of His will. I am thankful that they have considerable experience in doing so.

Obviously to have gone this far means I do believe it is Gods will in my life to move forward into this training. However more then wanting to be right, I do want my life to reflect his will. I can think of no more miserable a place to be, then to be a leader within Gods church who is not supposed to be there. Miserable for that leader, miserable for those they lead, miserable for God to watch. With that in mind, I can wholeheartedly say if at the end of this month the advisors come back with an answer of “no” I shall rejoice in knowing that they have made the best decision they can. I would of course be disappointed, confused and probably question my understanding of Gods will. I will need to deal with that scenario if it occurs, but that said a “yes” wouldn't be simple either. Three years of training whilst holding down a full time contract would not be easy. If the result is the one I hope it will be, I believe that my limited study over the last couple of years at St Johns would have prepared me a little for that.

This has probably be the least constructed post I have ever put up here, and is more of brain dump then a reflection. I did say I would post if something relevant occurred and this next few days is certainly relevant. Writing this has helped me verbalise some of my thoughts and I am sure more will come out in my journal over the next couple of weeks. I really do believe that it is right for me to move forward and that God has brought me this far. So if you pray please do pray for me, for the advisors, and for Gods will to be done in our lives, and the ability for us to understand what that is, and to accept it.

Too much vision, and the people perish.

Max — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 15:57:23 +0000

OK I have twisted Proverbs 29:18, but this dilemma is a frequent occurrence in my life. That’s one of the problems of having a personality that leans towards shaper. I often see a need and understand how it can be “fixed”, the downside as we know from previous posts is that I can often take too much on. Anyway this came to the forefront again recently when I went to Google and searched for audio devotionals for young people. What came up when I searched for “young people devotional podcast”? A page full of results pointing to www.aftershock.org.uk. Now for those who don’t know Aftershock was a great site, which put out just under 400 MP3 devotionals for young people. Fantastic just what I was looking for. The issue is, that Aftershock is my site, and Suzy and I stopped putting that podcast out over two years ago. So why is Aftershock still number one in the list for this particular search? I would love to believe it was my search engine optimisation skills, but Google is generally cleverer then me. So I come to the conclusion that there are not that many devotional podcast for young people out there, or they are not very good at promoting themselves. A quick check of the statistics show that I am still getting thousands of downloads every month from Aftershock. For example 12,000 separate downloads of MP3’s for December 2010, and that’s doesn’t seem to be an unusual number. Now to be honest, I have no clue where those 12,000 go, or if anyone actually listened to them. But equally the devs are also distributed else where, and I still get requests occasionally from radio stations to use them. Anyway to stop babbling on, it obviously shows a need for this type of podcast. So as we hear the sound of a loud trumpet, Max puts on his cape and dashes away to the rescue!!!!! Well no, not really. If I were to charge off and revive Aftershock, it would take a large amount of my time. This would impact, my family, my study and my whole future in a way that I am simply not willing to risk. If I thought that Aftershock was the whole of God’s will in my life then you wouldn’t see me for dust, but it’s not. Teaching certainly will be a big part of my life moving forward, and I can see how Aftershock would fit in with that. But I am now sure that God’s will in my life is to be a leader in his Church, and I will not be diverted from that goal. So hence the dilemma.

Because it is near impossible for me to ignore a need, and because of the yet to be confirmed feeling that Aftershock stopped prematurely, I have come up with a possible solution. It’s a solution, which means the burden is not on one person but on God’s people as whole. If we were to gather together a group of people devoted to God then we could inspire a generation. As far as I see there are needs for a number of roles that Suzy and I use to complete ourselves.

1. Devotional writers - Take a book of the Bible and write a number of under five minute long devotionals covering that book, for young people aged 11 – 18ish.
2. Narrators – Narrate previously written devotionals.
3. Audio editors – Edit submitted audio into a predefined template.
4. Webmasters – Maintain and develop Aftershock website (currently Wordpress).
5. Editors – Review submitted devotionals.
6. Marketers – Promote Aftershock.
7. Supporters – Commit to providing a defined amount of financial support and prayer for Aftershock. The commitment would be for one year and renewed, or not annually. No support will be taken until such time as it is confirmed that Aftershock can be re-launched and maintained.
8. Board – A minimum of one person (invited) from each category above, willing to meet (virtually if need be) twice a year to review progress and define direction.

Well that’s a long needs list, which I guess if we complete, shows that a) we believe there is a need, and b) God’s behind it. So this may go nowhere or it may mean that Gods word gets out to todays young leaders, in away that will engage and impact them. Oddly as I close I’m reminded that most people who heard God’s word at the time of Jesus and the century’s afterward, heard Gods word audibly. Most of them would never have held a Bible. So if you have a passion for making disciples of all nations, or simply have a clarification question then contact me today. There is a role for you.

Merry Christmas

Max — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:15:14 +0000

It’s that time of year again when we send out the Cross family well wishes to all our friends. Those who have known us for some time will know that we would rather the money went to a good cause rather than the Christmas card industry.

This year we are giving you the choice as to where the cash not spent on a card for you goes. Simply complete (Update: Poll now closed Toybox won) the poll below or go to http://cross.org.uk/christmas-card-2010-poll and vote to help us decide.

We hope and pray that you and yours have a fantastic time celebrating the Main Man’s birthday, and that you have a great new year.

Christmas card poll.

Max — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:34:01 +0000

Toybox - http://www.toybox.org.uk - Toybox offers street children the chance of a brighter future.

43% (17 votes)

Save The Children - http://www.savethechildren.org.uk - Whatever it takes - Saving children's lives, fighting for their rights.

5% (2 votes)

NSPCC - http://www.nspcc.org.uk - The NSPCC's vision is to end cruelty to children in the UK.

15% (6 votes)

Great Ormond Street Hospital - http://www.gosh.org - GOSH provide world-class care for its young patients and their families.

38% (15 votes)

Total votes: 40

Lessons From A Tech Fast

Max — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 07:00:00 +0000

Tags:

fast

idol

The tech fast is over so what have did I learn? As ever it was something about me that everyone else already knew. I worshiped false idols. There you go I admit it, or at the very least I had/have the tendency like most of the population of this planet to worship false idols. If one definition of an idol is something that takes our focus away from our God, then tech for me had become an idol. If I would rather turn on a tech podcast then open my Bible, and I did, then tech had become an idol for me. Tech had stopped being the tool to aid my growth in God, and had become the focus of my attention. It's easier to hide a tech idol, then a car idol, or a football idol but it doesn't make it any less an idol. It seems to me that I knew the difference between a tool and idol even before I started my fast. The parameters I set were if it's not study or impacting my income then it was out the window. Moving forward something very similar is going to be my measuring stick, because even just a few days after the fast has ended I can hear the idol calling me back into worship.

With the removal of the big idol, I spent more time with God and reading his instruction book. The thing that came out of this was that I really should stop mucking about and commit. Here I am claiming to be a Christian, even claiming a calling on my life, but I was busy putting backup plans in all over the place. It goes something like this. I'll commit to moving into full time ministry, but I’ll continue to study technology and build up my reputation as a know it all geek, just in case that doesn't work out. It just lacks commitment. So that's been slimmed down to just that which brings in my here and now income. I don't think I'm alone with this problem, I know there are many of us grey Christians out there who have not really committed. It was brought home to me on the last weekend of my tech fast. We were away camping with some friends. A mate, who is not a Christian, and I were sat with a couple of very young children enjoying the sun and just chatting. One of us said something like "you shouldn't believe everything you hear." This was enough for young Luke he came straight back with, "if you don't believe in God you will go to hell." My heart sank, here was I with a friend who I would love to see make a commitment, and some toddler is telling him he is hell bound. I looked at my friend, who by now is wetting himself laughing and I said, “well that’s not the approach I would take Luke, but I guess it’s accurate.” Then it happened my friend made one of the most profound statements about Christian life that I have ever heard. “Why not?” He said, “If you really believed all that you say, you would be out there telling everyone.” Ouch, my witness to my friend was weak, because in his eyes I was not committed. So I don’t know about you but I am taking a lesson from a young boy and an older agnostic. There is no backup plan; my full commitment to a full life in Jesus starts here.