Maya Banana

To Tetet

2013-05-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

Happy Mother's Day!

Kahit ganyan ka, ganyan ka na talaga! Joke lang. Sabi ko naman sa'yo, ayusin mo yung pagtanda mo kung hindi, tapon ka namin sa home for the aged! Ngayon pa lang pakabait ka na sa'men. Joke lang.

Weng, ganda mo dito pramis!

You're easily the most influential person in our lives, mine, Len's, Jewel's, Jig's, (sama mo na si Julian), the good, the bad, the best, the worst.

We could have caused havoc if we had a different mother. Thank you for waking us up and beating us to train everyday. For making us realize that it's not about the money but loving what you do. And that kindness and righteousness, although the most difficult options, are your best choices when dealing with difficult people.

We were never the perfect family and I'm sure there were lots of times when we have all wished that things were different. But after some time, I realized that how you dealt with us is the best way to raise four difficult children. Thank you making us tough. Thank you for treating us maturely. Thank you for making us bad ass.

Pinag uusapan namin non na bakit hindi ikaw yung nanay na mahilig sa make-up, damit, at sapatos. Eh di sana ang dami naming minana na gamit or skills sa pag-aayos. Puro jogging pants, jacket, rubber shoes, at gi ang meron sa bahay. Hindi pag blower kundi pag tirintas o pagtali na hindi madaling matanggal. Hindi spa pero yung pagligo bago at matapos maglaro para hindi nakakahiya sa ka-partner. Hindi make-up kundi athletic tape, foam, knee pads (at kung ano-anong pang suporta) ang alam namin gamitin. Hindi mga bag o sapatos kundi belt, bagong gi, midrib, or track suit.

Salamat at hindi kami naging superficial na mga babae. Sandali lang at madaling matutunan mag ayos pero hindi ang pagbalibag o pagbali ng buto, taon ang binilang natin at buti na lang talaga mas una naming natutunan yon. Salamat at nagiging napaka tatag at tibay (lalo na ng mga pagmumukha!) namen.

So mader! Ikaw na! Kala mo lang inaapi ka namin. Akala mo lang yun! Kami lang pwede umasar sa'yo at mangbwisit. Pag may ibang umapi sa'yo, alam na alam mo kalalagyan ng mga yan. Kill yan agad.

Dahil mother's day, may free lessons ka sa kamalditahan from us!!! Yey!!!

We love you Tetet.

P.S. Dahil natuwa ka sa post na 'to, wag mo ko kulitin ha? Kthnxbye!

And ze birthday begins!

2013-05-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

Yup, turning 27 tomorrow! Yay. Excited! NOT. Was never really into celebrations, especially of my birthday so no, I’m not excited. BUT, I’m happy that people are excited for me.

Presenting, the first gift I got for this year’s birthday!

TADAAAAAAN!

Thank you Ta Din! You’re da best. :) To more coffee, quotes, love songs, koreanovelas, and DIY’s to us.

Zark Attack

2013-05-01T17:55:00.000+08:00

One day:

Boss: Nagugutom ako. Kain tayo.

Us: Saan, sir?

Boss: Zark’s tayo!

Us: Yey!

That was how the conversation went, more or less. For no apparent reason, our boss suddenly thought it was a great idea to treat us to dinner at this awesome burger joint! And oh boy, it was great: free dinner and good food after working our asses off for what felt like forever.

If you’re a burger lover, it would be such a shame not to try this place; very affordable and the burgers are as advertised. Haven’t been to the one in Taft but the one in BF is a bit too small (and wobbly stools, too). Service was okay, their Mayo wasn’t (according to Ms. Din), iced tea and burgers don’t go well together (never!), and okay serving of fries (not too much).

P.S. Sorry Jen. Went without you. Next time dude.

Zark’s Burgers

35 J32S Building, President's Ave, BF Homes, Paranaque (In front of Shawarma Shack Center)

Where's Jayson?

2013-04-23T00:11:00.001+08:00

Grab a whiteboard marker ( permanent works best)? Ready? Find Jayson in all of the photos!

He's so easy to spot, eh? Shame on you if you didn't get everything right!

Don't have a lot of friends and that's alright because the ones I have ~~may be old but~~ are worth keeping.

To you Kuya,

Remember that year when we exchanged birthday cards and we told each other we'd give presents instead when we finally have jobs? Yep, we suck at promises. Here's my blog post instead! Cheers!

Happy birthday Kuya!

Movie: Oblivion

2013-04-20T20:22:00.001+08:00

Let's buy one of this awesome shit!
Photo from here

Do you read reviews about a movie before you watch it? I usually do. I've read J-Zaf's (to the other bloggers who've named her this, pahiram) review and still watched it. Why? I love Tom Cruise that's why!

While I sat there, cross-legged, shaking my bag of buttered popcorn, I was hoping silently that J-Zaf be wrong. Tickets are quite expensive these days and I didn't want 210 bucks (well, my friend paid for them, but still!) to be a waste (opportunity cost!).

It wasn't a total loss, of course but I had a difficult time not doing the following:

doze off
name all the snacks I smelled (sausage, pizza, and popcorn!)
find out who brought detergent
count how many popcorn I popped into my mouth

Aside from the amazing pool at the towers, the drones, and Jack Harper's rides (a foldable motorbike and over flexible helicopter looking fly thing), the movie's ... a disappointment. Not even Morgan Freeman's awesomeness could save it.

It was f*cking predictable. We knew what was going to happen! And it wasn't the exciting "See?! I told you!" kind of foretelling. It was a little bit depressing that we were actually right about what was next.

The movie was so boring, we felt like it was four hours long. To further prove this point, my friend didn't have a moustache when we came in, but he had one already when we left (this really happened according to him).

Don't bother watching it in theaters. I'm sure it'll be available soon for downloading!

How to spot a fake martial artist

2013-04-19T16:36:00.000+08:00

First, let me be very clear. I am a proud Judoka (judo player). Maybe when I was way younger, I wasn't. In fact, I hated it! Now though, is different. I don't have any problems telling people that I play, or that I have been playing all my life. Even the fact that my entire family (including my brother-in-law) plays. Or that I'm actually a black belter (ha!).

So far, when people learn about my awesome (yeah, it's f*cking awesome) Judo life, no one has ever said: "Weh, di nga?" or "Sige nga, sampol!"

However, proving that you are in fact a player is easier than to answer these:

Since everyone in your family plays, do you throw each other when you have fights?
Have you used your Judo skills during a fight?
Will you save me with your Judo when we get into a fight?

The moment you hear these questions, you know right away that the person you are talking to (nope, I'm not gonna say a complete dumbass) is not familiar with what you do or any other related sport.

I've told you about this site I signed up to, right? It's just funny how some of the people I met there confess to have practiced a martial art or at least watched UFC and they still ask me these questions. Now, it gets dumb. Sometimes I think about answering with, "Yeah, when we can't decide over something? We have a team tournament! It's either by submission or a full point win only, right in the middle of the living room or kitchen or wherever there's space! 'Cause you know, that's how a family of martial artists roll, man!

Sure, maybe they're trying to be funny. Well, funny and stupid are not the same for me.

Wigs, school uniform, and a whole lot more.

2013-04-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

"We should have bought wigs", my friend said.

My first time to attend a comic/cosplay convention. Was at CBLT, Mega Mall yesterday to meet a friend and saw some girls wearing long pink wigs. I got curious and asked my friend that we follow where they're going. I thought there must be more of them since I saw "Mask Rider Black" on the escalator while making my way to our meeting place. So we followed them around but they went to a restaurant! I almost got sad that the event may be over but thanks to the Interwebs and found out that it's still going on at the trade hall. Weeee!

We saw Spiderman on our way but he never showed up at the event (I'm guessing he went home).

Saw a lot of Fynn the Human from Adventure Time, a lot of girls in colorful wigs and Jap school uniforms, one Naruto who's probably not eaten in weeks or months, Dante from Devil May Cry who looked a lot like he just came from a beach trip, and several others I'm not familiar with. At all.

There were games (PS3), merchandise for sale (toys, pins, key chains, bags, clothes, costumes, stuffed animals, art work, etc.), food, bands, and geeks.

Ice cream and dinner after.

Fun fun fun! I wonder what next week's gonna be. Happy weekend everyone!

P.S. The first time in years that I wasn't asked to take photos. Thank you Miss Dalaga for being the photographer.

Keep calm and watch Spartacus!

2013-04-10T20:20:00.001+08:00

I've been meaning to write more but hot, topless gladiators, speaking in sexy accents have been distracting me!

Agron, Gannicus, Spartacus, and Crixus
Top ten gladiators in the show here!

Sex and violence, what more can you ask for?

Operation: Tokyo Bubble Tea

2013-03-24T10:36:00.000+08:00

Earth Hour!
I didn't make this. I just took a picture. This was at our quadrangle.

Work hard. Party harder!

Well in our case, EAT ALL THE FOOD!

We usually order food during Saturdays but this time the girls and I decided to skip delivery. I brought some pork chop (from G4) and egg salad sandwich for our lunch and snacks. You'd thought we'd skip dinner because of what we've been eating all day, but noooooo (right Jamie?).

And, DRINK ALL THE TEA!

Had dinner at Tokyo Bubble Tea at Westgate last Saturday after work with the girls. Since we were beyond full, I thought we'd just have some dessert and tea. Until we had a good look at the menu that is.

Weee!
L-R: Jamie, Yuann, Ta Din

I have no idea why they wanted me to take a photo of these.

Ramen something for Ta Din!

Beef Gyuudon for me!

Pork Tonkatsu ala curry.

Chicken something.

B O O B S

Medyo nahiya.

We stayed until past 11 and they didn't ask for any last orders so I'm not sure until what time they're open. Anyhoo, the place was cute and smelled nice. Plus the decals on the walls caught Ta Din's attention (she claims they're not leveled). Their tea (PHP 95 for a 16oz) was excellent! We tried the best sellers: passion fruit, lychee, and strawberry, while Yuann tried the chocolate milkshake (I think?) and they were all good. As for the food (PHP 185 to PHP 245), nothing special but not bad either (thank you chili powder that we so wanted to take home!).

Grade School Level Unclocked!

2013-03-23T13:15:00.000+08:00

I couldn't take decent pictures because everyone's everywhere!
Plus I couldn't do my ninja moves because of my high heels.

Another level unlocked and I'm sure everyone who loves Julian is just as proud that he's done with pre-school, finally! More than graduating, I'm happy that he enjoyed school. He never threw tantrums at anyone while other kids wail and ask for their mommies.

Pre-school: CHECK!
Grade school: SOON!

There were mornings when he wished he could just stay at home and play all day but when I tell him that he has to go to school, he'd just march upstairs quietly and he'd come back all dressed (smelling nice) and ready for school. Homework and review sessions were never an issue as well. I never had to push him to study (writing 1 - 100 is an issue though).

Anyhoo, the program was pretty quick and the kids (well, most of them anyway) were quite cute, even the crying ones (especially them).

It's the first time Julian's a part of a presentation and for days I bugged him about his role as a big caterpillar and he never gave much away during my interrogations. He wasn't really a big caterpillar but was part of one. Here he is:

I was grinning ear to ear while watching, it was that great of a feeling seeing your boy flail his arms while moving in circles with his classmates on stage because he was the best damned part of a big caterpillar.

More photos of us in case you're interested:

The most frustrating cap I've ever met!

Julian: Momsh, I'm so very very very H U N G R Y.

Sorry if his hair looks ridiculous. I have no idea how to fix it. Hehehe..

Enjoy your summer vacation baby. You deserve it!

P.S. Thank you Lola and Lola for the food!

**The play was about The Hungry Caterpillar and funnily enough Julian wouldn't stop eating that day. Before we left the house, he had a hearty breakfast, then we had lunch at Chowking (his favorite), he gobbled up some cookies and cupcakes after the presentation, and begged for more when we got home. He then told me, "Momsh, I am still hungry. I'm like a caterpillar, right?".

One night stand

2013-03-20T16:02:00.001+08:00

Ooops. Sorry. Night stand! Or a bed side table.

For several months now, my computer table served as my night stand as well. But I got bored one Sunday and decided to re-arrange my room again. The computer table is now opposite my bed so I'm missing a night stand.

To make up for the loss, I grabbed a stool from our Ku-Bo and used it as a temporary night stand. Cute but not much space to put stuff in/on.

Cheap flowers but they wilt so easily.
Peach scent, I learned, kills cockroaches!

The dad's on a 'winning streak' with the mom so he's in no position to say no to the children (that's us). Caught up on him this morning on my way to work and asked him to make me a really nice night stand! Of course he wouldn't say no. Or else.

Now I'm up to my elbows looking for the perfect night stand design. HELP!

Too many to choose from!

Top drawer, open bottom shelf
Top open shelf, two drawers
Top drawer, one-door cabinet
Two layer open shelf
Top drawer, open shelf (princess type)
Two drawers
Top drawer, open bottom shelf (concave)
Three drawers
Top drawer, open shelf (box type)

Of course I'd get the one with the drawers but there are too many to choose from. Any tips in choosing a design?

Bon Voyage Ms. Iris

2013-03-15T17:42:00.000+08:00

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw Ms. Iris in person was the movie "The Doll Master". Ms. Iris is a really nice person though, nothing like the girl in this movie. She greeted and hugged everyone but I couldn't stop thinking of the movie so it felt a bit awkward to return her warmness.

Have a safe trip back to China Ms. Iris!

Ms. Iris and OM Ryan

TL Carla, Ms. Iris, and Tito Ryan. Hehehe..

Nice bangs.

OPS Family
L-R: OM Ryan, TL Carla, Andoy, Me, Ta Din, Ms. Iris, Joe, Jamie, and Mica

Serious.

Wacky?

Profiles matter

2013-03-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

Is it possible to become a complete loser online where lying or pretending to be someone else is easy as pie?

Absolutely! Here's how (in no particular order):

Start off by saying something really unique like "Hi" or "Hello" when sending messages so that you'll catch their attention right away. Better if you spell it like this "ElOw" or "mUztah?".

Mention in your profile and everywhere you can write on that you're a simple guy, living a simple life, who's interested in simple things, looking for a simple girl. That your role in this world is to make others happy.

Jazz up your profile picture. Do a duck face or a vain shot. Add frames, glitters, clip arts, whatever.

Make sure the captions for said photos are clear and they are not just fishing for compliments: "No make-up here", "Gosh, I'm so fat na", "Wazzzup bitchez?!"

Fill your profile with grammar errors, typos, unnecessary punctuation marks, etc.

After exchanging several messages with her, go for the kill. Describe your horniness, that it's beyond reproach and you badly want to fuck her.

If that doesn't work, try again! Never say die!

Be honest about how much of a jerk you are. She'll completely understand.

Say 'stuffs' or 'informations'.

Post photos of yourself half naked for all the world to see those flabs and hairy armpits cause they scream sexy and appropriate.

Use Photoshop as much as possible on all of your posted photos and make sure you're not recognizable from your real self.

Maybe I'm guilty of a few of these things but I'm really trying hard not to. Or I'm being self-righteous. Well, I guess I am. Your profile represents more than half of who you really are so prove me wrong.

There's this saying that you should be yourself all the time and let people accept you for who you are and what you're not. Well, this is true. But that doesn't give you any right to be reckless and flaunt your lack of taste or stupidity to annoy people like me.

Please don't label me as a total snob when I don't respond to your attention grabbing one liner "Hello" or "Hi". It's possible that you're just too shy to say more and that's okay but don't send five more messages with the same shit. If you're interested enough, a question or two would be great. Tells me that I'm more than just a random citizen in the online community.

Don't ruin online friendship for me. A little common sense goes a long way.

Now that's out of the way, let me just clean up my accounts!:)

Not so kulob anymore!

2013-03-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

Friday night out with the girls (and Nadzter).

We're right in the middle of everything and we're still too lazy to take a 10-minute (at most) tricycle ride to numerous bars and restos at BF or take the Jeep and head to Southmall or ATC. There had to be a resto-slash-bar right outside our gate.

And voila! We must thank whoever wished so hard for a place like this to exist right outside our compound's gate.

L-R: Nad, Bey, Din, Yuann, Jamie, Mica

'Crispy' Pork Sisig
Tough instead of crispy. Not hot and spicy enough. T'was okay.

Chicken Sisig
Lots of white onions. Okay but lacks something, love.

Place is great. Nice and comfy tables and chairs (we're thinking how we can snatch a whole set and take it home). View isn't awesome but the veranda's very airy and the comfort rooms are very neat and clean. Beer is cheap (200 a bucket), not chilled but ice keeps coming. Food, well, is another story. We tried their Dynamite during our first visit and I could do better (LBM for me and Jamie). We ordered sisig (pork and chicken) and they cost as much as the ones at popular joints but not as delish (too many onions, not hot enough, pork was tough). Bey and Nad ordered spaghetti and calamares. They weren't so thrilled with them either. We also tried their french fries, not great but good enough to have everyone dig in.

It was a fun night. Learned about Shaina, Kim, and Maja's dance moves from Yuann. We sang! Good heavens. Video to be posted next. Let's do this again next week! :D

Are two-word names better?

2013-03-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

Pain is like fabric. The stronger it is, the more it is worth it."

The Fault in our Stars (Antonietta Meo)

A love story so sweet and true but equally devastating, Hazel and Augustus'. I never thought I'd cry so much over this book, The Fault in our Stars. It definitely made cancer patients look so bad ass.

***

"What are your plans?"

"Plans? About what?"

"Your plans when we're officially a couple."

It took me 2 hours and 28 minutes to reply with: "I don't know."

I tried deconstructing his question that's why. There were so many things lying in between every word. What does he mean by plan? By officially? By couple? Was it a rhetorical question? Is there a correct answer? Is he tricking me? There's not even a precedent!. I can't place this question anywhere in the weeks or months we're 'seeing' each other to make some sense out of it. He's not the type to just blurt out things like this.

Took him about 4 hours with these follow-up: "What do you mean you don't know? You don't have a plan?"

The genius in me confirmed his question with: "Yes, I don't have a plan yet."

He must have been furious with my answer since he didn't talk to me for a couple of days after that conversation. The question was never raised again not even on occasions when it would have been the perfect question to discuss.

I was probably reading something one night when I thought about answering this question. I wrote him a letter instead.

Dear You,
I know you did not like my answer, I did not like it myself. But you see, you asked the wrong question. You could have started with "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" And I would have told you, no.

It's not my plan to be your girlfriend. Have you not wondered why I never brought up the idea of marriage? That I never nagged you even once why we're not planning to get married after years of being together? Because I didn't need some ceremony, validation, or written contract that you are mine and I am yours. So when I did not aspire to be your wife (not that I don't want to, of course it would have been my pleasure), I definitely would not aim for just being a girlfriend, or whatever label you can think of. It's not because I did not want to be tied down, there was just no need for it. I'm yours and you should have known that.

You see, I want to be more than just a girlfriend or a wife. What I want to be is that girl you love.
That girl you want to spend time with after a really shitty day at work. That girl you want to come home to. That girl who makes you look forward to tomorrow without making you want this day to end. That girl who makes any place feel like home as long as you are with her. That girl who kicks ass with you. That girl who makes you want to be better because you know she'll leave your sorry ass if you start blending in with the crowd. That girl you call first when you have a good news. That girl who makes you feel better if there's bad news. That girl who gives you a good night's sleep. That girl who makes you see things differently.

The list goes on but that's my plan. I want to be that girl. It's ridiculous, probably impossible. I'm out of my wits here, to be honest because I could be the most amazing person in the world and you might disagree. OR. It could be the other way around, right? I could be the shittiest, bitchiest, worst person who ever existed but instead you see a princess. I have no idea how to go about this plan. It would probably cost me all that I have. It could mean missing out on a lot of things. Other guys might be waiting for me, guys who are far better than you.

But hey, what if this crazy plan works? I'd rather live with sadness than regret. If I fail, I'd be sad and devastated but I know I'll probably find some way to be happy again. But I couldn't live with regret, that the plan might work.

So yeah, I'd always take in sadness with a dash of everything and anything destructive that the human heart can possibly contain because I'm stronger when things get tougher. Please don't make we want to be just a girlfriend or a wife. Okay?

Always yours,
Me

Eight months, 2 weeks, and 3 days later, the letter's still attached to my notebook. I never got the chance to send it. Well, I secretly put it in his wallet one night (with a dorky smile on my face) while he was sleeping. "This will set things right," I told myself, half giggling, very careful not to wake him up and ruin the romance. But I decided to take it back. For some reason, it didn't feel right to let him know. I have been railroaded enough to grant him another leverage to crush me some more. It should have been fine, the additional hurt of him knowing that I'd do anything for him? However, I wouldn't be that girl if I do this.

So I kept the letter. Neatly folded using my insane origami skills (would have taken him some minutes just to unfold it). If it's sadness or regret that prevailed, I'm still trying to figure it out. I swear there are times when they feel the same. I'll get back to you once I find out.

***

What's a good name for a female character? Something not too feminine but not trying hard to so hard to be boyish and just fail? How about a name for a male character?

Finally. Ze love month iz over!

2013-02-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

February on Instagram
I'm @miahmari

Ran out of milk. Slept with a sad heart. :(
Ipis killer! Peach scent.
Lunch out with the girls at Chicboy Molito.
Spiderman face paint addict.
Spicy beef noodles.
One huge bowl of oatmeal love.
Baby sitting Deacon.
The comfiest running shoes. EVER.
End of the month and diabetes. There's a direct link.
Mommy Grace's birthday bash.
The best beer mate.
Started running again. Bilibid skies after five in the afternoon.
Jamie's POLK siomai from Chowking.
Mommy Grace's pizza treat.
Family day and School fair of A-Plus International School at Palm's Country Club.
Deacon is ze man.
Coffee toppings: ANTS.
Skirts galore. Upcoming project with the girls. So excited.
Jurassic nails no more. Finally!
Burma Street at night. Tried running after 10 PM but couldn't.
Muchas Grasas kiddos!
Bon Chon madness. Spicy mayo is the bomb.
"Kulang ka sa saging!" My mom would definitely say. My 2nd toe had a seizure of its own.
Dynamite that could launch LBM!
Night out with Mica and Jamie at Faima. Right outside our company's gate! One round of free beer from the owner.

Every single month's become a roller coaster ride and it's not as bad as the first few rides. It's become entertaining and enjoyable at some point. Whining and crying have become shrieks of delight from free food at the office, late afternoon runs with an awesome playlist and background, food delivery every Saturday, eating out, new books, new episodes and HD versions at isohunt, surprise visits and the lack of it, a new haircut, Julian's really doing great at school, plus he's showing signs of greatness at Judo (according to the Lola), etc.

According to my horoscope for this year, it's going to be a struggle and I'm very much willing to fight. If I must go down, I'll go down swinging. Here we go March!

What's a fool-proof way to bed women?

2013-02-26T22:00:00.000+08:00

I haven't slept. Not really a new thing, of course not. But it's the first time I haven't slept for no reason at all. It's been, what, almost eight months? Things have gotten worse, by the way. I've gotten stronger though. For whatever that's worth.

Anyway, I met some people online via this dating site and I know there'd be a lot of pervs and jerks. It was fun at first but, well, there were a lot of pervs and jerks. It's funny that a lot of them were very clear about wanting to fuck me (some were direct to the point, some strong, some subtle). It wasn't a big deal, really. It was actually interesting.

Of course women are different, I don't know what it takes to get others to bed. I can only speak for myself. To start with, I am not a prude or an uptight bitch. I'm a mom for God's sake. I've been having sex since I was 19 or 20? And I love it. It's great. If not, people wouldn't be trying so hard just to get laid. However, I'm not a whore either.

So a few things I'd like to be clear with:

Telling me how much you want to get into my pants or describing how really good you are at doing it is not gonna get you anywhere near the pants.
Also, you can not talk me into getting into bed with you.
Being honest, while I definitely appreciate it, isn't always the best thing. Telling me that you're so hot for me and you may be telling the truth, isn't exactly flattering. I know I'm hot. I don't really need to hear it from someone who's only seen my photos (from my neck up).
It's a dating site. I would have stated in my profile if I was looking for a sex partner. And if I'll ever be in need of one, I don't think I'll have to advertise.
I don't sleep around not because I'm being righteous or anything. There's just no way for me to know if a guy would be a good lay unless I actually have sex with him. When you know you're awesome, you'd want the other person to be as awesome as you, right? It's not like I can ask for a 'demo' (well, in theory I could but that would be really creepy) to test the goods.
If I'm not replying to your messages, then I'm not interested. Period.
It doesn't matter how much you like me. You could worship me all you want but nothing's gonna happen unless the feeling is mutual.
When I engage in a conversation with sex as the topic, I am not insinuating anything. What we're having is what it is, a conversation.

You see, women are the stronger sex because we have the vagina. We can control men with it, with sex. A lot of us just don't realize this, I do. Imagine up to what lengths men are willing to go to just to get a taste of you. some will be so subtle about it, while some will be direct. Either way, you are wanted. How many wars have been waged because of women? I have history and mythology to back up this claim.

After a few weeks of this dating site, I'd say I'm done.

Not another 30-Day Challenge

2013-02-19T23:56:00.001+08:00

Ahhh.. Just ahhh...

I hate running. Or jogging. Or any similar activities. It's lame. It hurts and not in a good way. It's boring. For an athlete, it's weird to hate it. But I do. I've dodged it any chance I got.

But I'm running now. I started several months ago but I got lazy and stopped. Now, I'm running again. No, I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm maintaining it (so I can continue drinking Mountain Dew every lunch and munch on chocolates or chips at night while crying my eyeballs out because of Grey's Anatomy). Plus, I had a heart scare very recently (another reason why I hate Valentine's Day).

It's great that 10 steps from my door is the next best thing to an oval track. Plus my mom picks the best running shoes (naks)!

I just need a good playlist to run to and I'm all set. Oh and a new set of sauna suit, too! It's really chilly in Bilibid after five in the afternoon no matter what the season.

Happy running!

Just the comfiest trainers! Ganda ng shoes mo talaga *Tetet!

*Tetet = is ze mother

Family Day!

2013-02-16T19:32:00.000+08:00

A week before today, every single day, Julian would ask, "Momsh, Family Day na ba?"

Then Friday, he asked, "Momsh, may pasok ba ko today?" I said, "Wala." He got a little bit worried then asked, "Pero Family day na bukas di ba?" The little man's very excited. I did not have any expectations either since I've never been to any event like it.

Everyone got crazy about the face paint. This boy's obviously in-love with Spidey!

He hit one!

Yes, the hair is now short and it will be shorter.

The little man's happy so that's what matters.

P.S. Thank you B2.

Happy Valentine's Day

2013-02-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

I left when things got tough. I left quickly. I did not even stayed enough for any drama. I just left. I left any chance I got. I remember each time; every detail of it.

And I can't be sorry enough for wanting to leave every time I got hurt, I felt inadequate, I felt betrayed, I felt not loved. I'm sorry. I'll probably be sorry for the rest of my life.

But I always came back. I always came home to you. You never lost me.

I always came back. Even if you're the one who pushed me away.

Bittering

2013-02-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

You're right. That's not a word but I'm taking it up a notch so it's not just being bitter but bittering.

What exactly is bittering?

Spotted couples? "Maghihiwalay din kayo."

Colleagues' sweet love story during yosi break? "Yak. We're not friends anymore."

Valentine's Day? "Pakshet."

Side A playing on the radio? "Great. Kill me now." Or just cry.

I'm becoming a 'bitter' junkie. Shet.

Anyhoo, how's your Thursday? Mine's pretty good. We've got food!

Vday's menu (lunch): calamares, garlic toasts, lemon squares, spicy tuna and mushroom pasta.

I can probably control everyone in the office because of my pasta dish. World domination through food! Hah! So that's what we had for lunch. I believe we were all beyond full when we left the cafeteria.

Three hours later, "Pizza!" I love us.

Meryenda c/o Ms. Micah!

I don't know how this day will end and you might think I'll be so screwed and cranky because I'm still heart broken and single (and people just keep on asking how I'll spend the day) and I don't have a date (or any of that shit) but I'm great. Was never a fan of this holiday you know.

Besides, I'm sure I'll come home to a card and a picked-up flower from the streets from my kid.

Happy hearts day everyone!

Food related death or injury

2013-02-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

According to the office mates, pizza is peasant's food. Oh jeez. Perfect!
From S and R. Yumeeeeeh!

Choking, food poisoning, allergies... How else can you die because of food? Please share. I think we need some lessons on over-eating.

Ms. Taguig, Yuann, and Euke

I have no idea who these people are.

Nope, it's not Eli's birthday. It's Sir Dru's.

Happy birthday Sir Dru! Thank you for feeding us!

TL: Uy, birthday ni Sir Dru today!

All: Yey!

Me: Sir Dru! Happy birthday!

Sir Dru: Thanks. You guys ready for some dessert? Maybe around 2? You have classes?

All: Yes! We're free! Feed us! (or something like that)

Lunch time: we had the usual meal, a cup of rice, a serving of dinuguan for me (which can probably feed two to three people), and Mountain Dew. We were beyond full when alas, pizza (lots of it) arrived after an hour. We should have ignored the pizza, yes? Of course we didn't. We love pizza. We love free pizza! We love free anything!

Yuann: (carrying the boxes) dessert!

All: YEY!

How can we eat so much? I have no idea. We just, well, love food. Especially if it's free. I love birthdays! Tomorrow's our Valentine's pot luck. More food! Yey!

P.S. Sir Dru brought this last Saturday. S and R's full of the good stuff. Hmmm.. I should probably get a membership there.

To die for!

Why is love worth it?

2013-02-11T00:25:00.004+08:00

Because it is ...
a soft bed after a long day at work.
the plush bedroom slippers after wearing tight shoes all day.
a Tuding's meal when you're really hungry.
the uniterrupted WiFi connection when you're downloading a movie or going for a chain kill.
the winning game in PBA or NBA.
the siopao given to you by your five-year-old boy.
the cool breeze on a hot summer night.
a tight hug after a shitty day.
an unexpected text in a boring afternoon.
the kiss after a big fight and you were the asshole but you were kissed first.
the warm embrace in a chilly night.
the smile you get after being so rude.
a surprise visit.
an "I miss you so much" text after days of not seeing one another.
the extra "anything' that nobody wanted but you secretly wished for.
that brewing coffee in the morning.
that money you thought you lost.
finding home-cooked Adobo that you wished for all day.
food shared with friends.

Do you think love is worth it?

The whys don't matter, do they?

2013-02-07T21:49:00.002+08:00

No matter how trashed or broken you are right now, moving on is not impossible. You feel like you're drowning and you'll die soon because you can't swim and no one there's to help. But guess what, you don't have to know how to swim or is there a need for someone to save you because you can save yourself by simply standing up. You'll never realize that until, well, you actually do it. Your feet were already touching the ground but you were too busy paddling, wailing, and bobbing your head in the wrong direction to even notice, thus the drowning.

I've been in a deep slumber for what feels like forever. Why did it hurt so much? Was it because I loved him too much? Did I give too much of myself? What happened really?

I was replaced. Simple as that and yet the logic of it escaped me. I was hurt and bitter because my ego and pride were railroaded. How could he, right? I'm the best thing that could ever happen to him and yet I got dissed. I whined, begged, dragged myself into a circus, kissed the ground, humiliated myself, because I couldn't get past the idea that no matter how awesome I am, he did not feel the same way anymore.

If we broke up without knowing that he was involved with another person, would have I behaved the way I did? No. I'd leave his ass right away. But I did the opposite since I knew there was competition. I got so hyped up, territorial, and well, pathetic. I had to think of all the what-ifs and re-think my whole fuckedupness. I can never figure out why he did the things he did or why things turned out to be like this. Besides, what would change if ever there was a reason behind it? Will I be able to stand it? I don't think there'll ever be a good enough reason anyway, right?

What if I should have stayed longer or held on for more? What if I just walk away? I'm sure I'll regret anyways no matter which path I choose. I'd always wonder what would happen if I chose the other. But I guess, I already did the holding on part and it wasn't what I wanted so I'm walking away.

Took me several months to realize this and when I finally did, it didn't become easy but at least I was thinking again. I came to accept that while he must have liked peaches before, he now wanted mangoes and there's nothing I can do to make him change his preference and forcing it only proved futile.

For those long months I was beyond being fucked up, not because he ditched me for another but because I looked at the situation differently. I put myself in the shit hole. I could have walked away but I decided to linger and savor all the pain. There was too much hurt because I was thinking of getting even since day 1. I was being selfish and irrational. Those quotes about choosing to be happy? They're all true.

I chose to be sad and hurt for a long time and now that I've had my fill, I'm choosing to end it. If I'll be happy in the process then there might be a God after all.

We're almost there baby!

2013-02-06T07:46:00.000+08:00

How can you not give the world to a son like him? Congratulations baby! Mommy's so proud of you.

I don't expect people to understand why I'm fighting this battle; it seems so pointless, futile, and simply put, not worth it. But I'd do anything to make sure he grows up happy and complete. No one can stop me. Just watch.