Mayo on the Side

Reason No. 1,428,762 why I’ll never live in a condo

Wed, 14 May 2008 12:33:17 -0500

The condo commando beat is a gold mine. Take too many people with too little to do, throw in complicated bylaws and lawyers, and you have never-ending conflict.

My Broward metro column predecessor, Gary Stein, used to make hay from the condo craziness, but I try to avoid it. Life’s too short.

Thankfully the newspaper has Joe Kollin now doing a condo column, and it’s always good for a laugh, or a blood-pressure spike.

Today’s piece is another beauty: A battle between Sunrise Lakes and a guy with a Segway .

I’ll spare you the details. What I want to know is this.

Why would anyone live in a condo, or anywhere with a homeowner’s association?

When I went looking to buy a house eight years ago, one of my requirements was no homeowner’s association. Why do I need to worry about more rules and aggravation, especially when it comes to my castle?

One of the goals I have for the rest of my life is to avoid living in a place where I’m at the mercy of others.

Are there others like me out there? Let me know.

I also want to hear the other side. If you live in a condo or a community with a homeowner’s association, let me know why. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Do we in the media overhype the negatives? Write me a sales pitch on why my thinking is wrong.

I’ll be reading.

Red light district in Pembroke Pines (rhymes with fines)

Tue, 13 May 2008 10:30:25 -0500

I’m all for Pembroke Pines’ using high-tech camera equipment to catch and fine red-light runners.

Sure, this is as much about Pembroke Pines making money as saving lives, but what’s wrong with that?

If a city’s trying to make up for lost property tax revenue, I’d rather they hit up people doing something wrong than impose across-the-board hikes in permits or other fees.

Red-light runners, along with the blathering idiots who gab on cellphones, are the bane of South Florida roadways.

Still, there are a few question marks surrounding the system.

Like, is it really fair that the registered owner of the vehicle gets hit with the fine for running a red light, even if they’re not necessarily the one driving?

And how can we be sure that the city and the private firm overseeing the system don’t game things unfairly, such as by shortening the yellow light timeframe to trap drivers.

And how is the city going to enforce the fines for non-residents?

The Legislature shot down a law linking the cameras to state traffic law. It means the city’s fines are for breaking municipal code. For residents, the city can impose liens on property. But for non-residents, the city might have to resort to time-consuming and expensive collection efforts.

It’s amazing to me that the Legislature, citing Big Brother concerns, has balked at the red-light cameras.

This is the same Legislature that almost forced pregnant women seeking abortions to view (and pay for) ultrasound pictures of the fetus before the abortion.

So why not allow picture-taking of people blowing through red lights and putting others at risk on public roadways?

Incredible.

Maybe this issue will gain traction as more people are hurt and killed by red-light runners.

Just as I hope a cell-phone ban for drivers picks up steam next year (the movement went absolutely nowhere this year).

Sure, I’m troubled by some of the imperfections of Pembroke Pines’ system.

But the overall effect should be positive. Why not make drivers think twice before racing through a red?

Christ on credit: Why do people fall for this?

Mon, 12 May 2008 09:33:57 -0500

Investigative ace Sally Kestin had an intriguing report Sunday on a South Florida variant of a familiar character: the flim-flam preacher man.

The details of the Rev. Daniel S. Mundell’s travails are sad and enraging, a man who apparently didn’t hesitate spending lavishly on himself at the expense of his followers, leaving a trail of debt and broken promises along the way.

Mundell set up shop in Lauderdale Lakes in the 1990s and now has a storefront ministry in Hallandale Beach.

Kestin described a sales pitch that asked people to put donations on credit cards, and solicitation letters that included special “gold dust” to bring prosperity.

People such as Mundell are why I go for the wholesale approach to spirituality: skip the worship house, cut out the middleman and talk to your deity directly. As an added bonus, it also saves on gas.

The approach of hard-sell evangelists such as Mundell seems especially audacious.

My question for you: Are people really that dumb? Or are they just desperate?

South Florida drive to secede can't succeed

Thu, 08 May 2008 09:29:10 -0500

So, the city of North Lauderdale wants South Florida to split from the rest of the state.

Talk about your cheap publicity stunts. Who do these commissioners think they are, some lazy newspaper columnist?

Secession drives have been discussed through the years, including by yours truly.

I floated the idea in a May 2005 column, after another frustrating legislative session.

At the time, law professor Bruce Rogow explained there’s no way for us to split the state, outside of armed rebellion. And if we resorted to a revolution, the federal government wouldn’t recognize us anyway.

Bummer.

If you want to read the column, click (or look) below.

And let me know your thoughts on the subject.

Citrus canker verdict: A small price for Florida's failure

Wed, 07 May 2008 09:56:35 -0500

The most disappointing thing about the citrus canker verdict handed down last night is that the jury bought the state’s propaganda about there being such a thing as an “exposed” tree.

As in, a healthy citrus tree 1899 feet from a tree infected with citrus canker is “exposed” to the disease and should be considered worth less than a healthy citrus tree 1901 feet from an infected tree.

During its failed citrus canker program, state agriculture officials did a wonderful job of creating this murky and arbitrary new category: the “exposed” trees within 1900 feet of an infected tree that might eventually get the disease (or might not) and supposedly had to be cut down.

Under equally arbitrary compensation guidelines set by the Legislature, property owners who lost “exposed” citrus trees got a $100 Wal-Mart garden voucher for the first tree, $55 cash for each additional tree.

That hardly seemed enough for still-healthy trees that could provide decades of valuable fruit, shade and aesthetic pleasure for homeowners.

The class-action lawsuit on behalf of Broward homeowners who lost trees sought to put a higher value on the trees.

The jury’s verdict: an additional $34 per tree on top of the compensation already paid by the state.

What an insult.

I didn’t have any citrus trees taken, so I don’t have a dog in this fight. But I did have a brush with an incompetent tree-cutting crew that marched onto my property in the summer of 2000 and wanted to cut down some banana plants. I stopped them.

I always thought the state never thought through this program adequately. Agriculture officials and the Legislature seemed more interested in doing Big Citrus’ bidding, taking the most draconian and expensive approach imaginable, while trampling on individual property rights and being alarmist about the disease, which blemishes fruit and limits a tree’s fruit production but doesn’t harm humans.

The approach sparked legitimate legal fights, the disease spread anyway, and the state aborted the tree-cutting program.

Now it’s taking the living-with-canker approach that some people advocated all along.

Anyway, I want to hear about your experiences with the program.

If you lost trees, how much do you think they were worth? How do you arrive at your figure?

Should horse racing be banned? PETA pounces on Kentucky Derby tragedy

Tue, 06 May 2008 08:56:58 -0500

Anybody who watched the Kentucky Derby on Saturday saw horse racing’s opposite extremes play out within seconds.

There was elation, as the undefeated Big Brown romped to victory with astonishing ease, stamping himself a possible super horse and Triple Crown winner.

And there was devastation, as the filly Eight Belles freakishly broke both front ankles galloping out past the finish line after running a surprising second. She was euthanized immediately on the track.

In perhaps the most poignant moment of the day, Big Brown spooked at the sight of the stiff and lifeless filly as he jogged back to the winner’s circle, throwing jockey Kent Desormeaux from his back.

Unfortunately, Eight Belles’ demise wasn’t an aberration. Too many times, we’ve seen racing’s biggest days marred by tragedy.

Ruffian. Go for Wand. Barbaro.

And now Eight Belles.

All broke down in big races, and all eventually died because of those injuries.

Does that mean the sport is cruel and deserves to be banned?

Every time I see one of these sickening displays, that is my gut reaction. And I’m a huge fan with a father-in-law who is a thoroughbred trainer in Ohio.

The knee-jerk reaction is eventually tempered with the knowledge that these horses are born and bred to run. They want to run. And the top horses, such as Eight Belles, are often treated better than the human beings charged with caring for them.

There are serious issues to be addressed after a tragedy such as this. Questions whether widespread use of medication is weakening the breed, and whether breeding practices are producing less sound horses. Questions over scheduling, with too much asked too soon of top horses (who debut at 2 and have their biggest races at 3).

Maybe it’s time for the thoroughbred world to delay and elongate the Triple Crown races, something I argued as a sportswriter after witnessing Charismatic break down in the Belmont Stakes. Something like the Kentucky Derby on Memorial Day weekend, the Preakness on July 4th and the Belmont Stakes on Labor Day.

Too bad the animal-rights group PETA decided to seize on this tragedy and open its mouth in the most uninformed way imaginable.

The group has decided to blame Eight Belles’ jockey, Gabe Saez.

That’s sort of like blaming the gas-station attendant for high prices.

PETA sent out a letter demanding Saez’s suspension, saying the filly was “doubtlessly injured before the finish.” PETA spokeswoman Kathy Guillermo also said, “Blame the fact they’re allowed to whip them mercilessly.”

Oh. Never mind that if whipping caused broken ankles, there’d be a hundred breakdowns a day.

Far be it for PETA to let the facts stand in the way of emotional exploitation.

This tragedy is hard enough for the thoroughbred world and casual race fans to stomach.

The last thing we need is PETA piling on.

If you can't park, how do you ride South Florida Tri-Rail?

Mon, 05 May 2008 09:17:11 -0500

Got lots of response to last week’s skeptical column on the Wave, Fort Lauderdale’s proposed downtown electric light-rail route, but the most interesting e-mail I got related to Tri-Rail.

Tri-Rail has had very modest success in almost 20 years (15,000 daily boardings in a region of over 5 million is nothing to shout about), but it has seen ridership increase as gas prices rise.

The problem: Tri-Rail, which runs along the Interstate 95 corridor from Miami to West Palm Beach, might not be equipped to handle much more than its current light load. Trains run every 20 minutes during peak hours, and I’ve heard that those trains can be quite crowded, standing room only.

A bigger problem will be if people can’t even make it to the trains.

Here’s the e-mail I got from Mark Goldberg of Davie:

In keeping with your article in today's paper, I had my first (attempted) Tri-Rail experience this week leaving me both angry, frustrated and extremely disappointed.
I decided to finally utilize our vaunted South Florida mass transit system and did my research on how to get from Fort Lauderdale to West Palm Beach. I arrived at the Griffin Road station in time to catch the 7:30 train only to find that there were no parking spaces
at all.

I circled the lots until my time ran out and then was forced to drive to West Palm Beach after all. When I called Tri-Rail to ask where the remote parking with shuttle was so that I could have taken the train (assuming that the few spaces at the station couldn’t possible be intended to suffice), I was told that they have never gotten a call complaining of a lack of parking…and that there was no other parking arrangement available (no parking means no train).

How is it possible that the ridership on this system is limited to the few parking spaces available at each station?…Why spend enormous dollars on a mass transit system where the ridership is so self-limiting? As gas prices rise, more of us will be attracted to Mass Transit with no opportunity to use it in its current state.

Good points.

Tri-Rail wasn’t helped by the Legislature this year. The transit system got caught in the crossfire of regional sniping that shot down a rail line for Orlando and Central Florida. As a result, the service will face cuts to off-peak service, just when demand is rising.

My questions for you: Anybody out there ride Tri-Rail regularly, or have you ever tried it at all? And what’s been your experience?

Happy Cinco de Mayo on the Side.

Lost weekend: Mark's Las Olas gone, Kentucky Derby bets off?

Fri, 02 May 2008 11:34:58 -0500

Mark's Las Olas: Empty
Staff photo/Lou Toman (2004)

Here was my Saturday dream scenario: Hit the trifecta on the Kentucky Derby, then celebrate with a budget-busting dinner at Mark’s Las Olas.

Oh well, so much for that.

Mark’s abruptly closed its Fort Lauderdale flagship restaurant on Thursday, a loss to South Florida foodies who’ve long admired chef Mark Militello.

And Kentucky Derby betting in South Florida remains up in the air because of an ongoing dispute between thoroughbred owners/trainers and Calder Race Course.

I’m going to miss Mark’s, which had been on Las Olas since 1994. It was pricey, but one of those special occasion places that was usually worth every penny. It’s unclear if the souring economy or ownership mismanagement has caused the sudden demise of three of the four South Florida restaurants bearing Militello’s name.

“I don’t want to get into this,” Militello said when I found him at the Las Olas restaurant Wednesday afternoon.

I went there because I’d heard rumors that the restaurant would shut. He flatly denied it, saying, “We have no plans of closing.”

One day later, workers were told their services were no longer needed. A sign was posted saying the restaurant had closed.

Not an especially classy exit for a classy place.

As for the Derby situation, there could be an 11th-hour change today or tomorrow. But as of now no bets will be taken on any races from Churchill Downs (including today’s Kentucky Oaks) at Calder or other local simulcast outlets.

(UPDATE: As of 12:15 p.m. Friday, I just got word that Gulfstream Park and Magna Entertainment had cut a separate deal with Churchill Downs allowing Gulfstream to simulcast the Derby card on Saturday. It is unclear if this is legal, since thoroughbred simulcasting within 60 miles of a Florida track running a live race meet usually has to come from the live track's "hub." It is unclear if Gulfstream's move will prompt legal challenges from the local horsemen or competing tracks).

Bets are off?
AP Photo (2007)

For bettors, Derby Day is the holiest day of the year, with Breeders’ Cup day right behind.

Getting shut out of the action because of intra-industry squabbling only leads to frustration and alienation.

The confusion surrounding the Derby situation will make things worse. Gulfstream Park had an advertisement in today’s sports section saying it would take bets on the Kentucky Derby. If that’s not the case, bettors who make the trip have every right to be angry.

I’m going to be real miffed if Bsharpsonata wins today’s Kentucky Oaks for fillies, or if Pyro wins the Derby, because that’s where my money was going to go.

Feel free to share your picks below.

With no betting available, this will be strictly for posterity’s (not prosperity’s) sake.

Fleet Week here, but Fort Lauderdale Air & Sea Show gone

Thu, 01 May 2008 09:25:01 -0500

It’s like peanut butter without the jelly, rum without the Coke, Abbott without Costello.

Fleet Week has arrived in Fort Lauderdale, but there’ll be no Air & Sea Show this weekend.

After 13 years, the popular show was cancelled when title sponsor McDonald’s pulled out and a replacement couldn’t be found.

So that means we’ve got a week of white-uniformed Navy sailors washing ashore in our bars, restaurants and streets, but no cool beach party for locals and tourists this weekend.

For a while, the Air & Sea Show was the closest thing transient South Florida had to a rooted tradition. (Although to be fair, West Palm Beach has its most excellent SunFest this weekend).

Louisville has the Kentucky Derby. New Orleans has JazzFest. For us around Fort Lauderdale, the first weekend in May meant the Air & Sea Show.

Truth be told, I only went a few times because it wasn’t really my bag.

It was crowded and hot and getting to the beach could be a nightmare.

I didn’t like the way the for-profit organizers wanted city subsidies while being coy about their finances.

And I’m certainly not big on worshiping war weaponry, although I have to admit watching jet fighters swoop down low and loud on a sunny day was pretty cool.

But when the show was cancelled, I had a surprising reaction. I was bummed.

Love it or hate it, the event was a big part of the South Florida calendar. Since 1994, it was a weekend that brought people together. Many from South Florida and parts beyond would get hotel rooms on the beach and make a weekend of it.

Some locals hated the traffic and the noise from all those jets swooping around.

It’s going to be awfully quiet this weekend.

Will you miss it, or do you say good riddance?

Democratic presidential race: Mutual assured destruction

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:10:00 -0500

I was driving north on Highway 12 in Sonoma County, California last week when I came upon this sign outside a modest home in Agua Caliente:

My wife and I thought it was Hillary-ous, so to speak. And telling.

Even though Clinton's name was misspelled, the sentiment seemed perfectly clear.

There are a lot of people in this country who, for whatever reason, just don’t like Hillary.

And now that Barack Obama’s campaign is teetering after Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s bewildering self-resurrection, I wonder if the Democrats will again manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory come November.

While presumptive Republican nominee John McCain coasts, the Democrats’ long primary battle has been a brutally effective example of Mutual Assured Destruction.

They’ve been so busy beating each other up, and the media has been so busy pumping up tangential controversies like the comments of Obama’s former pastor or Clinton’s embellishments of Bosnian snipers, whoever gets the nomination is going to be seriously battered.

It’s one more reason why the primary system needs to be changed. If there were a shorter schedule, say with four regional super-primaries or one national primary, there’d be a better chance the focus would stay on real issues like the economy and the Iraq war.

I have no idea what’s going to happen from here. But my gut tells me Clinton’s tenacity, and white working-class America’s apparent unease with Obama, could carry Hillary to the nomination.

But all that Hillary angst, neatly summed up by that roadside sign in California, could mean four more years for Republicans.

South Florida: Home weird home

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:00:35 -0500

Things I did this morning after a weeklong vacation in San Francisco and Sonoma:

1) Sorted through the mail

2) Skimmed leaves from the pool

3) Checked trees for skeletons

I have to admit, No. 3 is new to the list of chores. But after reading this bizarre story in today’s paper, I’m sure skeleton-checking is going to become standard for South Florida homeowners, right up there with mowing the lawn and taking out the recyclables.

At this point, I don’t want to get into all the questions I have, like how authorities are so quick to rule out foul play when someone who lived at the home went missing a year ago.

All I want to say is that stories like these go a long way in helping me get over the homecoming blues. Just when I was bummed about leaving a place with breathtaking scenery, great food and wine and a lively cultural scene, I’m reminded why there’s no place like South Florida.

Now if you’d excuse me, I think I’ve just spotted a humerus in my hibiscus.

What was Gorby doing at Hard Rock?

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:29:35 -0500

It certainly was one of the weirder events on the local calendar lately -- former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev at the Seminoles’ Hard Rock Live concert hall Wednesday.

A lecture at a university auditorium in Cambridge or Berkeley, I could see.

But a speaking gig with $55-85 tickets at a South Florida casino arena that usually hosts aging rockers, boxers and comedians?

In order to have a face-saving turnout, the Seminole Tribe apparently gave away most of the tickets.

So what was the tribe’s motivation in paying an undisclosed fee to the architect of perestroika and glasnost?

I’m curious to hear your theories. Here’s mine:

The tribe is no longer just a tribe, but a multinational business empire with interests in gambling and the Hard Rock restaurant/hotel chain.

So it’s probably with an eye on future business opportunities that the Seminoles are cultivating a relationship with Gorby. And my guess is the prime target is Cuba.

In a pre-speech news conference chronicled by my colleague David Fleshler, Gorbachev had kind things to say about the Castro brothers and Cuba’s communist revolution and unkind things to say about the United States’ hard-line position and ongoing embargoes with the island.

This isn’t what you usually hear from visiting dignitaries in South Florida. Talk like that around Miami 15 or 20 years ago would have triggered demonstrations and boycotts.

As change continues to unfold in Cuba, with Raul taking power, it’s logical that U.S. businesses position themselves for the future. Especially if a Democrat who’s willing to ease the embargoes is elected president.

Maybe the Seminoles envision the day when Havana once again becomes a tourist destination with casinos. And maybe Gorbachev can be an envoy who helps them get an inside track in expanding there.

Again, just a theory.

But how else can you explain Gorby’s spot in the Hard Rock spring lineup along with Carlos Santana, Eric Clapton and Stevie Nicks?

SCHEDULE NOTE: I'm going on Blog-cation, will not be posting the week of 4/21-4/25. Blog activities will resume on Tuesday 4/29. But feel free to peruse musings from the past in the archives and comment all you want. See you next week.

How much would you pay to stop ocean sewage dumping?

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:47:33 -0500

Among divers and fishermen they are known as “poop chutes,” the six pipes that pump hundreds of millions of gallons of partly treated sewage two miles off South Florida’s shores.

The wastewater, which comes from our homes and businesses, is treated to negate the most harmful bacteria and pollutants. Dumping it into the ocean is the cheapest way to get rid of it. And now the state is poised to make our local communities stop .

When the practice began, the thinking was that the ocean is a pretty big place and the wastewater was a drop in the bucket that couldn’t do too much harm.

But evidence suggests the nutrient-rich water spawns algae blooms, kills coral reefs and generally throws the delicate ocean ecosystem out of whack.

To get a sense of The Big Picture, I urge you to check out this link, a story from the Los Angeles Times’ 2006 startling series Altered Oceans.

So now the question is: How much will we pay to change ways?

Hollywood’s utility director said upgrades for better treatment and disposal methods could cost residents an extra $600-$1,000 a year. A state study put the cost for an average water-sewer user much lower, $20 for those who use 7,500 gallons a month.

We can only hope the cost will be somewhere in the middle, but when it comes to government spending, I always tend to believe the higher figure. And then double it.

I suppose I’m willing to pay a little bit extra to stop the poop chutes, because it seems the ethical and responsible thing to do. But $1,000 a year could create a lot of hardship for a lot of people.

Talk about conundrums: I don’t know if we can afford this, but I don’t know if can afford not to do this either. Your thoughts?

Governor Crist just says no to tax hike for Florida cigarettes

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:59:56 -0500

The cost of everything keeps going up, but the tax on Florida cigarettes has stayed at 34-cents-a-pack for nearly two decades.

In a lean budget year, you’d think boosting the tax by $1 a pack would be a no-brainer.

You’d think wrong.

Gov. Crist has effectively shot down the tax hike before it had a chance to get through the Legislature. It’s too bad, because Crist has usually gone with reason over ideology.

In this case, he seems more concerned with his vice-presidential ambitions than state coffers and Floridians’ lungs. After all, having a tax hike on his resume, even a justifiable one, wouldn’t exactly burnish his credentials with conservative Republicans.

A hefty tax on smoking is reasonable, as are “sin” taxes on alcohol and gambling.

Like other vices, smoking is an individual choice. A tax increase on cigarettes, the first since 1990, would bring an estimated $1 billion in annual revenue to the state.

I’m all for Florida smokers paying a little more if it means needy Floridians won’t have to settle for less because of budget cuts.

Sure, you can be worried about the whole slippery slope thing. What if the state started charging a fat tax on fast food? But there are limits to what voters will accept. Food is a necessity and a sin tax on unhealthy food would surely be political suicide.

I didn’t like it when my company began charging a $100-a-month health insurance surcharge to employees who smoked. To me, it seems obtrusive for employers to influence or fine lawful behavior outside the workplace.

But the state has the prerogative to tax goods, along with a duty to promote public health and welfare.

Making cigarettes more expensive and less desirable is well within reason.

Your thoughts?

Income tax stings, but in Florida insurance costs are worse

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:45:59 -0500

With federal income taxes due today, I always like to think of the old Steve Martin comedy routine, “How to be a millionaire and not pay taxes.”

First, get a million dollars.

Then, don’t pay taxes.

When the tax collector comes and says, “You have never paid taxes,” you reply: “I forgot.”

And then, if he protests, you say, “Excuuuuuuse me!!!”

I like to look on the bright side of today. As Floridians, we only have to pay federal income taxes. There’s no such thing as state or local income tax. And, because it would take a change to the state constitution requiring 60 percent voter approval, the political reality is there never will be state or local income tax in Florida, even though it might be in the best long-term interest of the state.

As for federal tax, it’s pretty easy to figure out the difference between those who file their returns early and those who wait until the last minute.

Early filers: Those who get money back.

Last-minute filers: Those who owe the government more.

I used to be in the last-minute, owe-more-money camp.

Then I got a home, a family, and a good accountant. My refund’s been in the bank since March.

Even though I now get refunds, life was still a lot easier and cheaper when I was carefree bachelor/renter/procrastinator.

Besides federal income tax, I also pay property tax (which funds local government, schools and hospitals) and state sales tax, not to mention a variety of incomprehensible taxes that show up on my electricity, phone and cable bills.

Throw in payroll taxes for Social Security (which I’m not hopeful of ever seeing) and Medicare and our overall tax bite seems pretty steep.

But as much as we like to complain about taxes, it’s escalating insurance that has pushed many middle-class families to the breaking point.

I added it up today, and our family pays more in annual insurance premiums than in federal income tax.

There’s $5,000 for medical/dental insurance (and that doesn’t include the higher share my company pays for the insurance, or my out-of-pocket costs for co-pays, deductibles, prescriptions and co-insurance).

There’s $4,000 in property insurance (three separate premiums for windstorm, flood and homeowners).

There’s $2,400 for auto insurance (two cars).

And there’s $600 for supplements to my company-subsidized life insurance policy.

That’s over 12 grand in insurance premiums.

At least with taxes, the government sends you a refund or rebate every so often.

Good luck trying to get a check from an insurance company.

Maybe it’s time for Steve Martin to come up with a new bit: How to be a millionaire and not pay for insurance.