Since the time of waiting for cakes to bake in my grandma’s kitchen, and waiting for paint to dry in my granddad’s yard, I have of course taken advantage of the time saving advances we all rely on.

Home Internet access in the ’90s seemed like one of those advances, but for me, it added new things to my day, rather than speeding up my activities. I made friends over email. I learnt to use FTP and to write HTML. Later, I created real-world organisations – something I would never have done without the web. Now of course, I’m learning, shopping, socialising, and actually working online.

But back in those early days, while other people moaned about the time it took for pages to load and the poor quality of photographs, I thought nothing of waiting 60 seconds for the information I wanted to get to my screen. I didn’t mind that it took four hours (on a telephone modem) to upload my new website. Waiting five minutes for a Word document to download was no bother to me at all. I was excited to have material that other people had produced from their own passion and expertise.

The early Internet was both amazingly fast (email) and quite slow (World Wide Web) owing to the technical restrictions of our home modems. The slow web taught me patience again, just like my Grandma; worthwhile things took time.

I see people getting irate because a PDF takes 45 seconds to download, or because they feel their mobile’s 3G signal is weak and slow. I sympathise – I know these are people who are trying to get things done. In my day job, I design information systems that need to be fast. But I avoid all that frustration myself by having a little patience, and remembering what I can do rather than what I can’t.

People who thought 10Mbps broadband was fast now feel sorry for friends who are stuck on such ‘slow speeds’. What used to satisfy them now disgusts them.

I appreciate capabilties and I’m not frustrated by limitations. Only Tao is without limitation. Everything within Tao has its way of being, its specifications. How else could it be? The three treasures can all relate to patience, but perhaps humility is especially relevant.

In humility, we respect the man on the street begging for change. In humility, we respect the young person who ignores our experience and sets out on an uncomfortable path. In humility, we respect the millionaire, no matter how she or he became such, for we are each a shard of Tao and have a path to walk.

When discussing the three treasures, Lau Tzu perhaps described humility as ‘shrinking from taking precedence over others‘¹ or perhaps even ‘not daring to be the First in the World‘². To be humble is to follow the watercourse. Water is never less for seeking the low land.

Great leaders understand the importance of humility, of their place within the whole. Tyrants do not. Great teachers are humbled by the pupils’ ability to reason and learn. Lecturers are not.

There is greatness in the small and smallness in the great; the beauty of clouds will endure beyond the beauty of any sculpture.

¹Version: Legge
²Version: Wu

Say too much

Economy, frugality, simplicity. As one of the three treasures, Lau Tzu said that by being economic we can be liberal. By being moderate, we might always sense the abundance in life.

If you are thirsty, the beauty of the glass does not matter.

When you are careful, you can be carefree and generous. When you love what you have you will never feel without.

Seeking the simple answer helps build a solution that can last.

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler
Roger Sessions / Albert Enistein

Verse 67 of the Tao Te Ching says that if we love, we can be fearless and bold.

I like this very much. I’ve heard that it’s difficult to be fearful when feeling loved, when feeling and expressing love. I find there’s something in this.

By feeling and expressing compassion for others we can move to forgiveness, and the empathy it requires moves us toward understanding.

Often, it’s not that people are against us, it’s that they’re defending themselves, batlling with insecurities.

Compassion for those few people who actively wish us ill can be the foundation for healing, and it provides an excellent deflection. I cannot be hurt by that which is not within me. Other people’s malice is theirs, not mine, and it must burdon them so.

Compassion must be without limit. It must encompass even the murderer. Compassion does not excuse their behaviour, and may not remediate their punishment or rehabilitation process, but compassion acknowledges that we’re all in the dance of Tao, that society is complicit. Most of us are only a few weeks away from homelessness or desperation; we are each capable of monstrous acts when the situation drives us beyond our limits.

Compassion must include the self. If you cannot forgive yourself, care for youself, and be kind to yourself then your compassion is incomplete. Develop your compassion so that it envelops everything and everyone.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, 1927

Image credit: anvay nekade

Not only because those at the top are fearful and therefore defensive (with the means to defend themselves), but also because there really isn’t that much room up there. No space, no foothold.

This in no way restricts your actions or ambitions. If you want to be an actor, act. If you want to be a writer, write. If you want to be in business, work your way up or launch your own.

By way of your passion, and the excellence you develop, you may even find you reach the top of your niche. It may not be as high as other industries, you may not have as many admirers, but there you are, alone at the top.

How might that feel? Bracing? Disconnected?

There’s more room at the bottom. Lots of people insist on starting in the middle through some feeling of entitlement. Many strive to ignore their current situation and leap from the bottom as soon as they catch a break.

There’s room at the bottom for whatever you do, and whoever you are. There are others (of varying contentedness) to keep you company and teach you, and they may just support you when the time comes to stretch up a little.

But remember that you can’t leave the bottom and have it disappear – were it to do so, you would be at the bottom again!

You cannot rise from the mud and be spotlessly clean. You cannot build a tower without a ground floor.

The bottom is where the strength is; it is your foundation. It is the base of the mountain and the roots of the tree.

Image credit: Justin Kern

Each day brings so many choices, and so many good ideas and opportunities. If we open our eyes and hearts, we could follow a thousand paths and happily make no progress.

I read the Tao Te Ching, I listen to 365 Tao, I write for Tao Daily, I scan the headlines at Lifehack, Lifehacker, Tiny Buddha, and Harvard Business Review. So many ideas, so much inspiration. It’s not possible for me to implement everything I might learn.

It’s about focus. Contemplation can be a form of meditation.

If you spot a good idea, if struck by inspiration, take time to contemplate what it might mean. Write notes. Sit and focus on what this idea might change for you, on what action you might take.

Set a reminder to review the idea in a week or so. Make time to sit and contemplate again.

With ten thousand possibilities and countless distractions, it’s helpful to deliberate over the ideas that strike you.

Image credit: Pekka Nikrus

Before you speak, pause; before you act, pause; before you judge, pause.

Some may tell you to ‘think before you speak’, but what should you think about? There are too many possibilities to contemplate!

So pause. You may not know exactly what thought to follow or what action to take, but that’s OK; no one expects you to have all the answers. We should not ask for certainty in this world.

If you’re taking part in sport, or driving, or labouring, you may not have time to pause before acting and reacting, but hopefully you’re in your ‘flow’ and so you’ll act accordingly – wu wei.

A pause will save you from misspeaking, and that can be invaluable. A pause can help you listen, and that is priceless.

Image credit: Derek Swanson

“If it wasn’t for disappointment,
I wouldn’t have any appointments”

Snowball in hell, They Might Be Giants

Without discounting the value of hope, I suggest that disappointment springs from expectation. Our expectations set a prediction, and while it is wise to consider future ramifications, it is foolish to build upon foundations not yet firm.

But the feelings that come with disappointment can feel very real and may drag us down, sapping the very energy we need to deal with the actual situation.

When pained by such feelings, it’s helpful to recognise the root cause of the disappointment, and the cause of the situation – and then take action. A plan, a decision, a step in the right direction.

Wallow for a few minutes in sadness if necessary, but then change the state of your body and the state of you mind. Make a list, make a decison, accept the ‘feedback (which is all anything ever is) and adapt.

Image credit: soozwhite

Sometimes it’s best to just get on with things – take ‘massive immediate action‘ and really go for it.

The right action at the right time is no effort at all. Things fall into place and it is as if it was ever so. Consider wu wei and tzu-jan, always.

“The wise lead the people by following behind.
When the task is accomplished and the work done”

“the people all say:
‘it happened to us naturally’.”
Tao Te ching¹, verse 17

I experience mental blocks around some of my work. I’m good at planning, I’m good at starting things, and I’m less enthusiastic about finishing things. I hear that a good team should include a ‘finisher’, and I can see why.

My mental blocks hold me back from returning to a project or piece or work. I fear the amount of work I need to do again, and fear being unable improve my initial offering. I avoid starting on this second phase of work.

In reality, once I get into the second phase it’s never as scary or bad as I feared. My mental blocks waste countless days, yet had I simply begun I could’ve completed the work in no time.

“Approach the difficult while it is still easy.
Deal with the big while it is still small.
The difficult tasks of the world
must be handled by starting what is easy.
Great undertakings must always start with what is small.”

“Therefore, the sage never strives for the great,
thus they achieve greatness.”
Tao To Ching¹, verse 63

¹Version: Kari Hohne

Image credit: qtouch

I seek the most honest, basic answer. Once I’ve reached the base of my desire I can batter make a decsion, and act. Sometimes, I want something for superficial reasons (shoes to impress clients, to fit in with office culture, et cetera) and that’s OK. I buy the impressive shoes, and laugh at myself and the world I put myself in.

Sometimes, the things I want, I already have, but have neglected.

Part of me would like to own land. Why? To free myself from other people’s physical power over me. Why? To have a place to call my own. Really why? To demonstrate my worth and to feel secure.

It would be healthier for me to develop my self-worth without regard to physical things and what people can see, and to work on my insecurities. I could have a big house on my own land and still be disturbed by other people’s powers (compulsory purchase; new railways; flooding; zombie attack) and still feel insecure owing to my past.

It’s not the land that I desire, it’s the prestige and security.

It would be better to be comfortable with people however they percieve me, and to be flexible in the face of uncertainty. The stability and security I crave, I already have, if I just shift my focus and see how well rooted I am in my network.