Measled Potatoes!

Carpe Diem : One day at a time

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Tue, 15 Apr 2014 07:45:00 +0000

I started writing this post some time back (New Year's eve to be precise), but just couldn't find the time or the heart to complete it, and had decided to abandon it halfway through and leave this place for good.

It's strange how we are constantly affected by the people around us, how quickly life around us can change. So much that it can cause deep repercussions and paradigm shifts, make us appreciate the things we earlier took for granted, encourage us to take up responsibilities.
A couple such interactions motivated me to sit down with a determined face and a cup of coffee in my hand, and finish what I had started.
So, here goes..

I find that the Januaries bring along with them every year a feeling of depression / desperation, a feeling that can't be matched by any other time of the year, however hard they may try.

And believe me when I say this, cause there are plenty other sucky times of the year.

Let's have a look see :
February — don't even need to get started on this one, the month single people all over the world have come to hate.
But I can live with that. In fact I can go on living my blissful life happily all the way up till the end of May, and then, Bam! — it's my birthday!
Perfect recipe for depression as you (as well as your parents. and relatives. even the distant ones. scratch that, especially the distant ones) switch to the comparing and evaluating mode all of a sudden.
Quarter life crises arise (regardless of whether it's my 25th birthday or not, cause I just couldn't find any other word for the nauseating feelings that accompanies twenty-something birthdays), some serious life planning staring out the window on the bus ride back to the shack, more weirdness.
Still, a few hours, a few phone calls form long-forgotten friends, and a hundred or so Wall posts from friends and from people I hate/don't know/don't really care about, I'm okay again, complete with a grin permanently plastered on to my face.
I'm sorry May. you tried but you're gonna need to pack more in that punch if you gotta bring me down.
Fall seems to be another eligible candidate. Just look at a fall leaf, I mean, just look at it. the very lifelessness of it. Okay, I'm yet to see one in real life, we don't have fall here (no REAL fall here anyway). But even in a photograph, even in one with brightness and saturation cranked all the way up to eleven, fall leaves manage to exude that air of hopelessness, bleak as death itself and draining as a Dementor's kiss. I may be exaggerating a bit — trying to sound deep here, humor me.
We may not have fall leaves here, but the world really seems to drag on during that time of the year. real slow, so slow that you just wish for the year / world to end.
(BTW, did you know that the world does not end with a whimper as previously predicted — It now ends with a tweet)
(Not sure why I brought it up here. Read it somewhere sometime back and I thought it was pretty funny back then. I know, internet.)
(Off-topic again : Sorry to disappoint, Dr. Strangelove)

Anyway, the point is that I am so awfully skilled in finding something to complain about, be it any time of the year. Even that magical time of the year when everything is sweet and dandy (Christmas!) I find myself shouting curses at the weather!
(Ever get out on a December night only to be assaulted by a chilling gust of wind, one that seems to make the very soul jump out of your skin?)
(this is literally true for a skinny guy whose diet mainly comprises Caffeine and Nicotine — other skinny people with similar cravings should be able to relate).

Maybe it's just me - cause I find people are usually happier at the year's start, less grumpy and more approachable — they seem to grow colder as the year trudges on. and I for once wear the non-conformist's suit.

Maybe it can be tied to the fact that the first day of the new year has come to be the only time of the year I actually pause and find time to reflect on myself anymore. What I have achieved so far, which of those twisted resolutions from the last New Year's bit the dust and which ones went down in battle (still no sign of a victory), what I amount to and where I may have missed out. Time to whip out the report card and cry over spilt milk cause I flunked, yet again.

I stumbled upon this great article today (11 questions every twenty-something needs to ask) and I found myself struggling to answer many of those questions honestly.
But rather than feeling tied down and depressed on the realization, I decided to go by the Zen train of thought that I've recently fallen in love with — take a deep breath, relax, and figure out how to best set my life straight.

2013 had been a good year for me. Started off on a low key, but like all things that get better with age (wine, women, pickle, ...) it blossomed into one of the most rewarding years of my life so far. Though there was a small degree of unhappiness towards the end, which I relate to my inability to maintain a positive outlook in life in spite of the circumstances (a skill I'm still learning), 2013 will always be up right there in my top 5.

They say experience is a great teacher, I think each year is one.
Think about it, starting each year is like sitting in a new classroom, where life's lessons will be imparted to you one day at a time. You never know what kind of a teacher you are going to get, whether she is going to be magnanimous or merciless (merciless seems to be the trend here, I'm reminded of my college days). And what your report card will say at the end of the year is entirely up to you. See the analogy?

And now that I'm facing the blank canvas that is 2014, I think that it is time make some changes, shake up the routine a little bit, and make this year a fruitful one.

..and this is where I put down the pen (probably passed out from all the New Year night's booze, you should be able to tell from the overflown language / pretentious wordplay).

Four months later, it's hard to get into the same train of thought from that night. I don't even remember what that gigantic preface was for, I'll have to go back in time, grab that phased out guy from New year night by the collar, and whip it out of him.

I think I was about to condemn my habit of taking new year resolutions in some harsh language and end up taking a new year resolution not to take any more new year resolutions.

Because, come to think of it, we are all different people, what works for someone else may not work for you. and analysing the historical data so far, I don't think I'm the Resolutions kind of guy.

What works for me is a cup of hot coffee and an ambience to quietly reflect.

When I was a child, I couldn't wait to grow up. I'm sure we all did.

I still remember an episode back from when I was seven or eight. I had gone to church with my mother and after the mass we were making small talk with the parish priest. He was telling me that I ought to become a priest when I grew up. My mother still recalls with a smile that I broke free from his hands and ran out of the church yelling "No, I wanna be a computer Engineer when I grow up!".

I didnt even know what a computer looked like back then. But when we were kids it didn't matter. We still had a clear idea what we wanted to be when we grew up. The passion was unbridled, we thought nothing in the world would stop us from being a doctor / engineer / police / pilot (those were the favorites back then!).
But when we finally start to grow up we realize that it's not the joyride that we once thought it would be. that growing up is vastly overrated. Trust me, that's what I thought too.
But that's when you are a young twenty something fresh out of school/college and suddenly put into the center of a whole lot of truths and responsibilities.
As you go on, you realize that there's immense joy to be felt in taking up responsibility, in being there for your family and friends, in being a grown up.

I think I've finally started to see the whole picture. Maybe you guys knew this all along, maybe I'm a late-bloomer, but heck, this sure feels good!

And that's why I now realize the folly in following the system of New Year Resolutions. We just keep following it for lack of awareness of a better system.

I mean, why wait 364 days to count your blessings when you could make it a daily habit?

And why bother to think up the weirdest of resolutions just for the sake of filling up a list when the only resolution you need for life is this : Striving each day to be a better person than you were the day before.

Sure, there are challenges. It takes a lot to maintain your composure when life snaps back at you. Even as I'm writing this I'm standing in the midst of a million problems. and that's where the greatest lesson to be learnt makes its significance felt, that worrying will only retard your progress, that a clear head is better at solving problems than a perturbed one.
Just think back on an occassion where you faced a huge adversity. Did worrying do you any good? Exactly.

You might hate me for writing down a whole load of bull, even call me a poser, but hey you know what, with all that I've been through, I've earned every right to engage in bullspeak once in a while.

Whatever you may think, however pretentious this may sound, here's the bottom line. All that blabbering and superfluos language aside, the basic rules of the game have always remained the same.

It's true what they say. Tomorrow has no face. and every morning you live to fight another day. And all you need to make it through the day is a clear head and unflinching conviction.

So I guess this short checklist is all I need to keep my life in check. no more new year resolutions. just a handful of reminders for every day of the life.

Stop beating myself up.
Count my blessings.
Find out what makes me happy and devote more time to it.
Learn something new every day.

And most important of all, live.

Carpe Diem, one day at a time.

image credits

blank

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 22:05:00 +0000

3:05 am

Bleak, ancient light from distant stars.
Faint glow of embers as the last of the death sticks that had been saved to last the night gives up its ghost in one unfulfilling last breath.

Save for these two, little light remains, the man-child ponders as he lies on his back on the hard floor staring up at an almost blank sky.

They say the night is magical, I agree. The nyctophiliac in me nods rather enthusiastically in agreement.

Yet on some nights your whole world comes crashing down.
You can always tell if a night is going to bring bad news from how thick the darkness is.

The nyctophiliac hangs his head in shame now, his faith obviously shaken.

I think the guy up there sympathizes with the woes of us puny humans after all.
Can't think of any other reason our darkest nights are also the darkest in the heavens.

And sometimes it's so dark that if you try to draw constellations out of the stars like you used to do in your childhood, you fail, because they are placed so hopelessly apart.

And at this moment, at this moment alone, I can relate.
A bitter love story written in the stars for all to perceive.

---

Journal entry
01 Apr 2014
3:32 am

note to self :
never fall in love again.

maktub

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sun, 15 Sep 2013 19:29:00 +0000

“to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.”
― Ellen Bass

I rarely write here anymore. and sometimes I ask myself why.
It's not like I'm upto here with work or have a vibrant social life to keep me away from my desk. Heck, most days I fall asleep right on top of my keyboard for crying out loud!

So I went back and read through all the ramblings I've amassed here over the years. And what I realized was that, it was I who made this place the mess that it is today. What used to be place to share my crooked view of the world and have a good laugh about it, had been turned to an account of (mainly) the low points in my life.

Over the last couple of years, many times I have opened up my blogger dashboard and tried to put down something in words, but once the slew of depressing posts caught my eye, it was a just another quick trip to the close button.

I'm hit by the realization that I have been overtly selfish. Never content, always yearning for something more out of life, while failing to appreciate the things that I had. Maybe this was the thing that kept me from any glimpse of success this far in my life.

The last few months have been incredibly educational. Finding out that you have become more of a whining old boy than a responsible young man is a realization that can really hit you hard in the face.
Sure, they tell you that growing up ruins you. that baby fat and anime eyes may give way to gray hairs and wrinkles on your brow, but that you should never let that innocence inside die.
But here I was, still stuck at childhood's end, searching for a direction when I could have figured it out for myself all along, had I taken the effort.
You could say that I'm a late bloomer. Whatever. Better late than never, right?

Life has taught many lessons. I have learnt that a single morsel of food fed from my mother's hand is more fulfilling than anything I could buy anywhere in this planet. I may not exactly be the social butterfly, but I have my close circle of friends, whom I could give my life for. If any of you ****ers is reading this, just close your eyes and smile to yourself. I'm sure that your ears must have grown callouses from listening to my incessant whining. It won't happen again, I promise.

And most important of all, I have learnt that the best help one can recieve is as they say, self help. Because ultimately, several rungs down, you're the one that knows your heart the best, and what it really desires.

I still go back and read The Alchemist once in a while. And there is a reason it remains one of my most favorite books. Take any excerpt from any of those pages, and you'll only find words to live by.
Realizing that I could have mattered more in life if I had listened to my heart when life presented me with a choice three years back. Actually taking action to make up for the lost time. The step from one to the other is a big one, yet a simple one that i could have made in my sleep. All it takes is a shift in the state of mind.

I used to worry continuously what people thought about me. I could always picture the judging eyes of people as a searing ray of hate concentrated on a tiny, painful spot on the back of my neck.
The long hair, the sleep-deprived eyes, low grades in a subject that I'm never even gonna use again in my life, even my taste in music -- people always find something to complain about.
But now I just don't care. I realize that the time spent giving ear to their judgments is just wasted time. Hate all you want, but one day you'll be screaming my name. That's one way to deal with the haters and so far it's workin out for me ;)

I ran across this beautiful quote the other day, and I've decided to print it out in big helvetica font and hang it over my desk :

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten"

*happy*

The downward Spiral

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 13:25:00 +0000

Just a fortnight into the new year and 2013 has already brought me more sorrows than some of my lowest years have managed over their entire lifespans.

And I thought last year was a bitch!

Trust me, my life has never been worse. But in spite of all that shit hitting the fan, I can still spot a silver lining.
'cause like they say, when you are at the very bottom, the only way to go is up, right?

The other day, I had a sudden realization that life is very much like a fine porcelain vase.
It is beautiful for one with an eye of appreciation for beauty. The hapless nihilist thinks it's overrated as he lies in the gutter and downs yet another bottle. The fidgety one fails to enjoy it as his time is spent worrying about its frailty.

Then it hit me that I am all these people.

Each morning when you wake up, you do not know whether you are gonna last the day.
But still you get out of that bed and go on living. That is faith.
Either that, or it could be a permanent sense of insensitivity that has set in over the years of your pathetic meaningless existence.

Every morning I spend a few minutes staring at the ceiling after I wake (don't we all?).
I tell myself that should Death stop me at my doorstep and flash me a book filled with dues and red lines and what not, I will just tell him, "Not Today" and go on living my supposedly happy life.

Isn't that a lie we all tell ourselves?

Would I really be able to mouth those words when the time came? Would I rather be content to taste the scythe and embrace my grave 'cause living in this world has become increasingly difficult? I wouldn't know for sure.

Many times in my life, I have wished that the world would just come to an end. Like the ending of that movie Dr. Strangelove. all of us being nuked to death while Vera Lynn sings us goodbye.
And many a time I have found myself drifting towards Nihilism, a tempting way of life indeed. But one that I now realize is nothing more than a refuge for people who are scared to get out there and face the world, or go down fighting.

So what if my life sucks?
Chances are, if by the time the sun goes down I'm still standing, I will have learnt something new.
It's just that some people get to learn these lessons the easy way, and some, the hard way. Welcome to reality.

If anything, 2013 will be a year for responsibilities. I'm through with taking tacky new year resolutions that I never keep. Time to grow a pair and start living life for real.

I have been bitching nonstop for thirty minutes now. and more depressing is the fact that none of it even makes sense.
and I'm pretty sure I will hate myself later for writing this post.

So I'm gonna cut short this rant and go yell at my dog for some time.

(as if that makes sense)

Happy new year, by the way.

Summing up : a Quarter-Life Crisis

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 20:42:00 +0000

Chiming in after a long time. and I tell ya, it not on a happy note either.

If this post was a chord, it would be friggin D minor. If it were a song, you would hear Radiohead's Creep playin. If it were a film, it would be the last 15 minutes or so of Requiem for a Dream.

I could go on like this all day, but that wouldn't cheer me up either.

I guess I must have hit what people call a Quarter-life Crisis.

A week back, I turned 24, and I was left thinking, Oh my God, almost a quarter of my life has passed before my eyes, and I still haven't achieved anything. I'm still a scared-shitless kid tryina put his life together.

Life stagnates.
I face myself in the mirror; I see a fucking failure.
I open up my facebook homepage. It asks me, "What's on your mind?". Regret. Lots of it.
Heck, I logged in to stare at funny memes all day and cheer myself up. Focus on something else for a while and ignore the pain. I should have thought this through.

I remember a friend back from school who once told me, "What wouldn't I give for your life"!
Really dude? Well you should see me now.! it's even better!

What have I done with my life?

It's been two years after college. I worked for about a year a crappy day job.
Sure it was valuable experience to beef up my CV. I learned the tricks of the trade.
I made a few good friends. We had fun. We had booze. We tripped by the sundown to The Beatles and The Pixies. It was fun while it lasted.
I also met and had to work with people who had the morals of body lice. I now know better than to expect appreciation when you meet targets and deadlines. I now know how things work in the corporate world.

But in the wake of all this, has anything really changed, inside? not much.

Job satisfaction? none.
Feeling unfulfilled and frustrated? check.
Bordering on extremes such as atheism and even Nihilism? check, check.

That's the thing when you're stuck doing a job that you don't love. It's all makebelieving.
You put yourself to the torture everyday, telling yourself that things will get better eventually. Only, it won't.
It's like having to ingest a downer and then snorting on ecstacy to climb your way back up. every fucking day of your life.
It might run things well for a while, but in the end, you are just left an emotional wreck.

So, I learned the truth the hard way. If you don't love what you do for a job, there's no point in clinging to it. Don't listen to others, listen to your heart. Peer inside and you'll know what you really want.
Or as Robert Downey Jr. put it, "Listen, smile, agree. and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway"

Sure we've all heard these words. Half of the world's quotations seem to be aimed at this very philosophy. But what is hard is finding the nerve to put it into action.

I have never felt happier quitting a job, and I probably never will :)

So now I'm free, and clueless about what to do next. How I wish life came with instructions!
I don't know what future holds for me. But I'm giving myself two years to piece it all back together. Two years to get my ducks in a row.
June 2014. If there is a world here on that date (and the Mayans were just Trolling us).

The first step : Relocate.

Yup, gotta get outta this joint and start afresh, for a better life. Let's see how this works out.

..and thank you Ayn Rand, for 'The Fountainhead'. If I hadn't happened to read it, I'd probably be rotting away in a grave right now!

Feeling a lot better already. God, I missed blogging!

Steppin into the Wayback Machine.

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 16:38:00 +0000

So I was dropping by my dusty blogger dashboard the other day, and I went back and read some of the old posts, just for the heck of it.

And I gotta tell ya, it's an amazing feeling, walking down the memory lane.
The same feeling you get looking at a sepia-toned photograph from your childhood.. or going through text messages saved on your phone from 5 years back.. or just hearing the Windows 95 startup sound.
you feel a 100 years old. *sigh*

I also noticed I have completed a measly total of 100 posts, spanning more than 3 years, which should be considered an accomplishment, given my laziness.
and a quick peek at statcounter told me that my blog has been visited by unsuspecting victims 38367 times. double whammy! :)

So at this point I decided to do a little retrospection. step into the wayback machine and see how my blogging has progressed. Yes it has had its phases, highs, and lows.
and it will only be fair if I start with the first phase:

---

I. Crappy with a capital C

"Oh look, everyone's got a blog these days! What? it's free? wait, you can make money too?? dude I'm SO in..!"

So I jumped into the blogging bandwagon on the 1st of March, 2008.
I gotta come clean here, blogging was more of a money-making opportunity to me then than anything else. I was in it for the dough.
So, naturally, the posts consisted mostly of 'cool' stuff I found on the internet, a Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V, or just some random drivel.

Goals at this stage: fill blog with junk, get pagerank, sneak in adsense, do sponsored posts, watch my wallet getting thicker.

I wouldnt mention any posts from this phase for the simple reason that they were all crap. However this one might make you crack up, especially since it was unoriginal and copied from somewhere on the internet:

A hilarious way to learn metal genres

---

II. Not Alone.
The bucks hadn't started flowing in as I thought, In fact, I was yet to see a single dime. All I earned was a couple of visits a week maybe. no comments. nothing. nada.
I also came to hate blogging as I saw it more as a chore.

But then I discovered other bloggers out there. Luckily for me, I started blogging early on, when blogging wasn't this big. So there were many struggling bloggers beside me, trying to get their blogs out there.

Began to see blogging in a new light. Needless to say, the posts started becoming more original and personal. Blogging became fun.

and yeah, thank god for BlogCatalog :)

---

III. Measled.

That did it. The transition from a vocation, to an avocation. I was totally, hopelessly addicted.
My lifestyle now consisted of surfing other people's blogs late into the night (or should I say, morning??), pots and pots of coffee, and bags under the eyes.

and surprisingly, I started seeing some money. So here's the ultimate tip for ya, whatever you do, you gotta put your heart into it, and the greens will automatically follow :)

Some of my personal favorites from this time
Becoming a Blogger
25 ways to kill time on the internet
Aliens through the ages
An alien encounter
..and the introductory post that was actually the 50th :
Here comes the measles!
better late than never :)

------

and how can I forget them new year posts, wild and whacky posts written in the wake of sobriety after a particularly wild popping of bottles on the new year's eve.
2009 - 2010 - 2011
and it was during the new year of 2010 that I took the only new year resolution that I've kept: keeping this site completely ad-free. though I get tempted to cheat from time to time ;)

Life bites.
Now I know how people who write diaries must feel. It's nice to have some place you can write your heart out when life for you isn't going that great. It helps heal the wound. well, mostly.
Whether it be losing someone to death, breaking up with a good friend, or just the occassional blues, blogging is a relief.

Intoxicated
The countless posts made under influence, most of them that got deleted the very next morning at the first pangs of sobriety.
Here's a tip for you, do not blog when you are drunk, or desperately unhappy, or both.
and here's an example of how effed up a post can get, when the person typing it is too hammered to form words with the 200+ keys he sees on his keyboard.
Sealed with a kiss

and the one post that will always remain my number 1, looking back at the most beautiful phase of my life so far.
college = \m/

So, that's it, I feel like I've just sat through a movie.
and I thought it was pretty good. you might be tempted to throw tomatoes. it's your call really.

All I know is, I'm gonna keep this shit up for many more years.

..cause I friggin love it :)

Easter tidbits

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 19:09:00 +0000

It's the Easter day! Have an egg! :)

It's a beautiful night. All tired and sleepy after the late night mass, back home listening to some soft music on the computer, enjoying the vibe in the cool night air.
and here are my wishes for you and your family, have a happy easter. Sleep tight :)

..and keep a shotgun cocked by your nightstand, in case a creepy looking rabbit comes sneaking into your bedroom at midnight.

---

So, a quick run-down of the stuff that's been happening.

Okay, let's start with the good news: My bro is getting married this May. and I'm really happy for him. I know this is a late time to break the news but you know, I haven't been around here in a while.
So, just wishing him all the very best and moving on to the less important stuff,
such as,

Exams
Yep, it's that time of the year again. You know how I always loved exam time. Three whole hours to let your imagination run unbirdled on a sheet of paper, heck, I'm in!
I'm known to have made my SSD professor wince by referring to the Avalanche breakdown of a Zener Diode as the 'Demise of the Device' in my answer sheet.
Yeah, it was all good fun. but it's no fun a couple of years later, when you're just hidiing under a dark cloud of past mistakes.
Time to get serious. Actually, the time is way due, and I feel I've missed my cue.
but like some old bloke said, better late than never right?
Yep, no more dicking around.

Pumping Iron
Decided to do something about my pathetic excuse of a body so I started eating like crazy and joined a Gym.

These particular words by Dave Draper inspire me:

Are you ready for this conversation? Hey, dude, long time, no see. You’re looking -- I dunno -- bigger, fuller, healthier. I can see it in your shoulders... thicker, more power. You been hittin’ the juice? Just kiddin’! Make a bicep. Golly. You’re also calmer, cooler and more sensational.

Listen to me, guys. By summer you’ll have your wings and you can fly with us. We’re authentic bombers. We do lots of loopty loops. You ever do loopty loops?

Go with God’s strength... Dave

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to getting all beefy and muscular like these guys (although that would be cool) (if that was even possible for someone like me!)

Just wanna build some flesh over these bones. Cause these days more often than not, I get mistaken for a high-school kid.
Pretty disheartening for a 23-year old guy if you ask me :/

Well, how far this goes remains to be seen. You know I get lazy. It's been just a couple of weeks since I joined, and I'm already on my Easter break away from the weights.
Yeah, I know. Need motivation. Gotta keep tellin my mind something like; I'm Improving my life, one rep at a time :)
Bullcrap. but it always seem to work.

Stay blessed.!

Rock in Peace \m/

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 07:48:00 +0000

The 5th of April. A day that marks the demise of two of the greatest personalities in Grunge music. And I felt I had to share something here, cause these guys have been a huge inspiration for me

Kurt Cobain

Perhaps the first name that comes into your mind when you hear the word 'Grunge'. That familiar figure brooding over an acoustic guitar, a burning cigarette to his lips, who truly showed the world that "it's better to burn out than to fade away".
The musical genius came to an end on this day, 17 years back. But still his musical legacy lives on.
Cobain's suicide note is a must read for every indiidual.

Layne Staley

One of my favorite vocalists of all time, Staley delivers with so much power and emotion in his voice that it makes the hair at the back of your neck stand up.
Sadly we lost this man to drug abuse. It's been nine years, Alice in Chains is reformed and is still making good music, but it misses the emotional edge that they had when Staley was at the mic.
I do pop in an AIC record once in a while and wallow myself in the goodness of music that's so hard to find today. Alice in Chains will always be a favorite to me and Staley, you will be missed!
Have fun jammin in heaven with Kurt, Ronnie, and the greats! \m/

Rock n Roll on the Silver Screen : The Best Rock / Metal Movies of all time.

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 10:38:00 +0000

It is not often that you find Rock / Metal music featured in mainstream media.

Reason? Rock, and especially Heavy Metal, is a genre of music that has been hated more than loved ever since its inception.
It has been bashed, ridiculed, called ‘evil’, and written off as unsophisticated music. But you make one of those haters listen to a badass metal riff and tell em to play it, I’m pretty sure they’ll jizz in their pants.

Nevertheless, Metal never got the recognition it deserved. And the widespread hate, has only made it all the more endearing to us fans who carry it in our bones.

Anyway, there have been some pretty good (and some awesome) movies and documentaries on Rock and Metal music. I'm not talking musicals here, these are (mostly) works of art that truly captured the spirit of rock and roll.

Here I’m listing some of the best I’ve watched.

And let’s do it the age-old way, counting down :

15. Detroit Rock City

This was one of my favorites back when I was a kid. The movie is about four teenagers trying to get into a KISS concert.
Now, as much as I’d love to punch Paul Stanley in the face, I have to say l love this movie. It’s nothing mind-blowing, but It’s fun, and has its moments.

Memorable Quote:

Christine: Hey, you know what? Disco's so fucking big right now, I wouldn't be suprised if KISS did a disco song.
Lex: Man, if there's one thing KISS will never do, it is a bullshit disco song.
Jam: No shit man!
Trip: Yeah man. Disco blows dogs for quarters man!

And we all know what happened next! XD

14. Still Crazy

Twenty years later, old members of fictional band ‘Strangefruit’ get back together and try to make it work.
You might find yourself wondering at the end of the movie whether the bollywood flick ‘Rock On!!’ was “inspired” by this one.

13. Sid and Nancy

Who doesn’t know Sid Vicious. The legendary bassist of band Sex Pistols, and the true personification of punk rock! But this biography shows us the murky details; Sid’s relationship with Nancy Spungen, her murder and the fateful events that follow. All of this interweaved with hazy moments of drug abuse and debauchery.

Memorable moment
Sid slaughtering the Sinatra classic, ‘My Way’, a riveting performance by actor Gary Oldman.

Nancy: I'll never look like Barbie. Barbie doesn't have bruises.

12. Decline of Western Civilization II : The Metal Years

A documentary that shows the ugly underbelly of metal music, namely, the glam metal subculture.
Features some distinguished people in Rock talking about the highs and lows of rockstardom such as, Ozzy, Steven Tyler, Lemmy, Alice Cooper,etc.
More than an hour of footage on some dumbass glam metallers wearing spandex pants. And a stripping contest organized by some old dried up fruit whom I’d like to kick in the balls if I ever get to meet him.
Finally relief comes when they give a scoop on a real metal band for a change, Megadeth. An interview with the band and an amazing rendition of ‘In my darkest hour’.

Memorable moment:
Chris Holmes (W.A.S.P) wallowing in vodka and making a complete fool of himself, and the expression on his mother’s face as she watches on., that sure is gonna make you reconsider listening to glam metal ever again in your life.

Interviewer to Dave Mustaine : What do you have to say to kids who wanna make it as a rockstar?
Mustaine : don’t.

11. Pirate Radio / The Boat that Rocked

A comedy about an illegal radio station that operated in the North sea in the 60’s. One of those feel good movies with a positive vibe. Some downright funny moments. Also, an awesome soundtrack full of nostalgic oldies. Got me hooked on the Kinks song ‘Sunny Afternoon’.

10. Rockstar

Lead singer of a tribute band gets the opportunity to become the lead singer of the real band he idolizes. Yeah, it’s based on the story of Judas priest. Starring Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston, and even a surprising appearance by a young Myles Kennedy, this movie has lots of them rockstar moments.

Memorable moment : Izzy taking the stage with Steel Dragon for the first time and nailing it.

9. The Doors

Perhaps the greatest performer ever to grace the face of this planet, excessive drug user, expressive poet, chicks dig him..
Who else could I be talking about but the lizard king himself, Jim Morrison.
And this is his biography, played to perfection by Val Kilmer. It follows Morrison right from his early days with Doors all the way to his untimely death at the age of 27.

Memorable moment
Morrison shouting out ‘higher’ on National Television at the Ed Sullivan Show.

Memorable Quotes

Jim Morrison: Actually I don't remember being born, It must have happened during one of my black outs.

Interviewer: Do you believe in drugs?
Jim Morrison: I believe in excess...

"The movie will begin in five moments," the mindless voice announced. All those unseated will await the next show. We filed slowly, languidly into the hall. The auditorium was fast and silent. As we seated and were darkened, the voice continued, "The program for this evening is not new. You've seen this entertainment through and through. You've seen your birth, your life and death. You might recall all the rest. Did you have a good world when you died? Enough to base a movie on?"

Know what my secret wish is? Go on a desert with Morrison and trip on peyote with him ;)

8. Lemmy

Ever been to a Motorhead concert? If yes, you might have seen an striking frontman standing onstage and shouting to the sound guy to turn it all the way up. Just get ready for an eargasm cause you’re listening to the Loudest band in the planet, and that man donning the cowboy hat and the Rickenbacker Bass is the most badass figure in Heavy Metal – Lemmy Kilmister.
And this is his story.

Memorable moments
Lemmy jamming with the members of Metallica and sharing stage with them.

Memorable Quotes:

Pumped-up fan : They drop a nuclear bomb on this planet.. Lemmy and cocroaches, it’s all that’s gonna survive!

Lemmy : We are Motorhead, and we play Rock and Roll.

7. School of Rock

Jack Black, awesome as always, plays a wannabe rockstar, who poses as a substitute teacher at a prep school and educates his students on something that’s not in the curriculum : Rock Music.
Taking the concept of the yesteryear movie ‘Sound of Music’ and bringing it to an entirely different realm, works out pretty well in my opinion.

Frankie: Miss Mullins, you're the man.

6. Anvil

Now this one comes highly recommended by me.. it is a documentary on the Gods of Canadian metal, Anvil.

Memorable moments :
* Bandmates get Lip a cake on his birthday, inscribed with ‘Happy fucking 50’ in icing.. man, if my friends ever did something like that for me I’d be psyched!
*Anvil playing to a half empty bar in Munich, and a loyal customer sitting in a chair and headbanging all by himself.

This is hands down the best documentary I’ve seen in years. It’s not about one of those bands that made it big, it’s about one that could’ve been big, about a failure for a change. And that’s the beauty of the film. It’ll leave you mesmerized.

5. Metal : A HeadBanger’s Journey

What better way to make a documentary on Metal other than by a Metalhead himself!
Headbanger’s journey follows anthropologist and longtime metal fan Sam Dunn as he embarks on a journey to uncover the roots of Heavy Metal, starting from the industrial areas of old England where Sabbath pounded out those first metal riffs and travelling all the way to the modern metallers, even a short dark trip to the depths of Norwegia, the Black Metal capital of the world.
Features interviews with a lot of important figures in Metal, it’s a must-watch for any metal fan.

The Ending lines are especially memorable :

Sam Dunn (standing at the concert venue amidst screaming metal fans) : Ever since I was 12 years old I had to defend my love for heavy metal against those who say it's a less valid form of music. My answer now is that you either feel it or you don't. If metal doesn't give that overwhelming surge of power that make the hair stand up at the back of your neck, you might never get it, and you know what? That's okay, because judging by the 40,000 metalheads around me we're doing just fine without you.

4. Global Metal

Following along the veins of Headbanger’s journey, this documentary follows Sam Dunn as he travels across the world to learn how Metal has flourished in and influenced the different cultures, including Asia, South America, and even the Middle East.

Memorable moment
Iron Maiden opening the concert with ‘Fear of the Dark’ to a pent up Indian crowd. Nothing short of mind-blowing! Don’t take my word for it, watch the video.

3. Heavy : The Story of Metal

Documentary series on Metal by VH1. Although it was done by the folks at MTV and glorifies mainstream junk and the music video a bit, I still find it to be a honest account on the origin and evolution of Metal.

It’s a four part series, and you could learn a lot by watching it.

Episode 1 : Welcome to my nightmare : Black Sabbath to Led Zeppelin to Alice Cooper to AC/DC.
Episode 2 : British Steel : Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, The NWOBHM movement, and the origin of Air Guitaring.
Episode 3 : Looks that Kill : LA Glam Metal scene, and my least favorite installment.
Episode 4 : Seek and Destroy : Metal was never meant to be pretty.. Thrash arrives and melts the faces of all the glam metal posers. Hell Yeah! \m/
Also, scoops on Rap Metal, Nu metal and the devil incarnate himself, Marilyn Manson.

2. Almost Famous

William Miller, a 15 year old journalist, gets hired by Rolling Stone magazine to tour with and write about the band Stillwater.
Now, I’ve placed this one so high up in the list cause it deserves it. It captures the true essence of Rock and Roll. Tons of replay value. And Kate Hudson gives one of her most unforgettable performances as the groupie, miss Penny Lane.

Memorable moment :
That scandalous moment where the band is on a plane about to crash and Ed blurts out “Fuck it! I’m… I’m gay!”. Also, this is Ed’s only line in the movie!

And now to the number 1, and my all time favorite :

1. This is Spinal Tap

If you’re into metal and you haven’t seen this one, you’re missing out. In the words of Dee Snider, “It was so funny it hurt!”. No arguments there, it gets you laughing right from the start till the ending credits roll.
Directed by Rob Reiner, this one’s a documentary, or rather, a ‘mockumentary’ on the fictional band Spinal Tap. Reiner himself stars as documentarian Marti DeBergi, who hits the road with the band.
Spinal Tap is comprised of three core members: David St. Hubbins (apparently St. Hubbins is the patron saint of quality footwear.. who knew!) on vocals, Nigel Tufnel on Guitar, and Derek Smalls on bass.

Memorable moments
Too many, though the Stonehenge scene was hysterically funny!

Also this Spinal Tap song deserves special mention., titled ‘Big Bottom’ :D

Memorable Quote

Nigel : “These amps go upto 11”

’nuff said!

I wanna keep talking about this movie but already this post has grown to epic proportions. So I have to stop now.

And please be aware that this list is purely subjective. Also, there must be other rock and roll films out there that I may not be aware of and have missed. So if you have any to suggest, just shoot in the comments section. :)

[Asked to write his own epitaph]
David St. Hubbins: Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?

Haha... fiddy got owned! ;)

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 08:04:00 +0000

Wanted to share a crazy video I stumbled on the other day.

This one's SO full of Win!.. 50 Cent collaborating with Thomas the tank engine on a kickass rendition of 'In Da Club'.

I dont know who made this but dude, if you ever come here let me know cause I'ma buy you a beer.. or even a six pack. you deserve it! :D

I will say no more, watch the video and crack up! :D

Trippin' on Minecrack. er.., Minecraft.

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 09:59:00 +0000

Back when I as a kid, we had this neglected medium-sized tank outside our house. Once a fat load of sand got dumped into it for some construction work, which never saw the light of day.
So in effect, me and my bro ended up with a new playtoy, a friggin sandbox!
For an outsider, it was just a dirty little tank filled with sand and dirt and decomposed skeletons of insects... but only to the untrained eye!
For inside the four walls of the tank rose Cities and Palaces and Roads. A cemetery for the deceased Gold fish from the aquarium. The big beady ants made excellent slaves. Sometimes the rain came down, wreaking havoc all over the place and massive reconstruction had to follow... Nothing went on in our little world without our consent, well, except the ants mutinying once in a while.. the revolting ones got burned at stakes or drowned in boiling water. We reigned Supreme.

We were friggin' Gods!

Moral of the story : Sure you can have the meanest, beastliest computer in the world and play the most state-of-the-art action game on it, but the sheer kick that you get out of it, can come nowhere near what you get playing with a sandbox!

Such is the power of sandbox-styled gameplay, you are not tied to any particular Storyline, and the possibilities are endless.

Now, this post is in regard to this sandbox game that I've been hooked to the past month or so, MineCraft. Thanks to my bud desmond for hooking me up with this game. man you rock! :)

Now, the whole game weighs in under about 100 MB and you can tweak the settings to allow it to run on any PC. You can play online or offline. You can buy it or get it from the dark side, but I encourage you to buy it, cause it's worth it. besides, it's a mere €14.95.

When you start a Minecraft game, you are spawned into a world of epic proportions.

Mark that spawn point cause you're gonna respawn there everytime you die.
The basic objective of the game is simple :
Make use of the daylight. Collect resources, hunt animals, farm crops, build structures, craft items, etc. etc.
And make sure you have a nice comfy shelter ready before the night. Cause in the night, you wanna be tucked away safely, unless you wanna be tossed around in a thriller dance featuring Zombies, Creepers and Skeletons with crossbows ;)

Did I mention this game has an awesome soothing soundtrack that plays in the background and keeps you relaxed during the daytime.
Also there's the creepy music and monster noises during night that will take you completely unawares and make you shit bricks!

I will say no more, cause I think you should play this awesome game and discover the many facets of the game yourself. So I'm gonna put in a few screenshots and leave you at that.

warm, cozy home

Castle in the works

Arsonist ;)

The abandoned mine

dungeons filled with riches... and horrors.

The monster spawner that churns out several monsters per minute

night of the living dead

About to get my ass owned

Beautiful sunset, the calm before the storm

Current goals:
-> Recreate Counter-Strike map cs_assault
-> Build an intercity minecart network
-> Mine Obsidian and open a portal to Nether

Okay then, load it up and get your creative juices flowin!
and if you get any doubts just refer to the comprehensive Minecraft Wiki.

later :)

Got the blues...

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:08:00 +0000

Today is a sad day..
Yes, another heartbreak. My favorite piece of internet fiction, which has been running for almost two years now, well, the author chose to kill it today :(

I've written about this guy here before. Nolan Whyte is a writer and a regular guest columnist over at Ultimate-Guitar.com.
I stumbled into his previous work, Guitargasm : A Novel, while fishing for guitar tabs at UG a few years ago. Since then I became a faithful devotee of his writings.
If you love music, and guitars, or even otherwise, you should definitely check out his works: On Comeback Road, Guitargasm, and the last one,'Riot Band Blues'

For the typical UG'er, the expression TGIF is all the more relevant, cause that's the day a new installment of Riot Band Blues would hit the site. Yeah, that's what it was, phenomenal. *sigh*
Nolan's writing got better and better over the years, and RBB is, in my humble opinion, a modern masterpiece.
Well, not the kind of masterpiece your English teacher would approve of... there's the occasional f-word. and the drugs. and the rock and roll ;)

So today Riot Band Blues came to an end, running it's course of 91 installments. and it has been one helluva read! I hope Nolan returns with another series soon, though this one will be hard to top.
So, if you'd like to check it out, I suggest you visit Nolan's contributions page @ UG here.
Ah, screw that, here's Part one for ya! Start right here.

So now that's one less obsession. A certain void seems to have formed.. Fridays will never be the same at UG :(

guess I'll have to go back to trolling the comments sections. oh well.

2011 baby!!

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 18:54:00 +0000

Okay, new year is here. and I realize it's time to make that traditional 'New Year's post' :)

So I take a look at the posts I made in 2010, and 2009, and the resolutions, and I realize how quickly time has flown. Seriously, it seems like I made those decisions yesterday, and needless to say, a huge chunk of those went unkept.. Like someone said, resolutions are made for breaking right? NOT!

So I see I made 15 resolutions to stick to in 2010, and I gotta say, they all failed to stick :(
well, except the decision to learn touch typing. I'm touch typing as I write this :)
And I had resolved to listen to 100 new albums in 2010. Though I didn't hit the 100-album spot, it was a nice opportunity to discover some good music I wouldn't have known otherwise.

So 2010 is done now. Looking back, it was like watching an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Alright, 'Signs', if you're looking for a perfect example.
So the year started off awesome, seemed it would turn out to be a pretty good year, probably the best in a while, and then, BAAAM!! just like that... BAD ending!

You know the feeling when you sit i the theater watching a flick with a crappy ending... yeah, you just wanna exit the goddamn theater.
and that was 2010 for me. Inside you someone yells "Call it quits! Call it quits!". But you can't, 'cause you have to live through it.
and yeah, the girl sitting in the row before you is so dang hot ;)

And before you know it, you've lived through another sucky year. Congratulations.

Someone said, it's the number of times you smiled that sums up a year for you. And if my math is any good, 2011 barely sums up to a measly amount.

So, here goes my number one new year resolution for 2011 : Stay Happy! :)

Which also means no more blog posts filled with profanities that I have to delete two days later.

Which also means no more emo songs in the playlist.

which also means 2011 summing up to a HECK lot more! :)

Another resolution is to buck up and post more often here. Only 10 posts in 2010! (*gasps*) now that is some serious negligence on my part! :O

And I really need a makeover, and by that I don't mean appearance-wise (though alot of people seem to suggest, "tidy up!"). I mean, personally / intellectually. I think it's more important than a physical makeover at this stage.
Remember the laundry resolution I made last year? Not important!
brush-clean my conscience, and clear thoughts with speycide (quoting Jimmy Eat World). Screw laundry! :)

Okay, that'd be all. I'm looking forward to a good year this year. Things are definitely starting to look up, So I hope this will be a good one.

and a very Happy new Year to you too! Go Nuts! :)

by the way, that pic is from the comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes". If you haven't read it (which is highly unacceptable!) you should really check it out. Real good stuff, and Calvinball is my kind of sport! ;)

How to Revive a Dead Laptop Battery

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:25:00 +0000

Let's face it, nothing's built to last forever, and laptops are no exception.

My HP laptop has been gradually deteriorating for the last 5 years since it was bought, and now has a dysfunctional speaker, a touchpad whose left and right buttons no longer work, and a dead battery.

Well, one can do without the speakers (there's this thing called earphones), and the touchpad, but a laptop without battery surely has one foot in the grave.
Especially in our state of Kerala where power cuts happen almost everyday, proper shutdown soon becomes a pipe-dream.

Coming back to the topic, laptop batteries cost a fortune, atleast the original ones do. So before you throw that dead battery out the window and fish out that money outta your pocket, you might wanna try this as a last resort.. and trust me, it worked like a charm in my case.

So here's what i did, i removed the dead battery from the laptop, wrapped it fully in polythene (you can use a ziploc bag too), and kept it in the freezer for one whole day!

Now after a day, i took it out, dried it thoroughly till all moisture was gone, and replaced it in the laptop.

I better show you the result than tell it, cause seeing is believing :)

This is the screenshot before freezing the battery:

And this one after the process:

Initially the battery backup wasn't that great. I was able to get only about 5 minutes. so I was somewhat disheartened by the result. But it seems to have regained its capacity over time and now i'm getting a steady backup of almost an hour ;)

So how's this possible?
Cryogenics??
Cryogenic sleep is rumored to preserve people for years and heal their wounds. Kirsten Stewart looked stunning after waking from cryogenic sleep in that crap movie Zathura. We all know aliens are preserved in cryogenic chambers in suspended animation at hangar 18.

Okay, the last paragraph was a load of bullcrap, but cryogenics is one fascinating topic and i got carried away to ranting about it. My sincere apologies :|

The truth is, the freezing process supposedly reverses some chemical reaction in the battery and this is what rejuvenates it. I don't know the specifics, but many people have had success with this method, so you can just google it and find out what makes it tick.

Anyway, if you are about to ditch your laptop's dead battery i suggest you just try this method. It worked for me, hopefully it works for you too.

Disclaimer: don't hold me responsible if something happens to your laptop, in the worst case it may blow up. Please ensure the battery is completely dry before reinserting.

Good luck :)

When Boredom Strikes...

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 19:00:00 +0000

Too much free time on my hands has always made me do stuff that I consider ..well.. unconventional?

Normally, I'm a bit on the lazy side. Okay, I'll be honest and ask you to skip that "a bit" on the previous sentence.
I'm quite sure that when I get a job in the near future, and I'm asked to choose between an additional 1000 rupees remuneration , or a couple of extra holidays, I would readily choose the latter.. yeah I know, pathetic! :/

So I was naturally overjoyed when I got home after finishing college and parents asked me to stay home for awhile and take care of my body.. and thus commenced a long streak of sleep, sleep., and more sleep :)

But turns out you get tired of even sleeping after a while.. gah! didn't see that one coming! :(

even sleeping in unusual and weird positions didn't help..
So I began doing stuff, not exactly 'useful' stuff by common man's standards..
all kinds of useless crap to help me kill time..
Heck, I even tried moonwalking..! no, not the dance move, I'm referring to some serious bouncing around in a mentally cooked-up 1.96ms^-2 gravity environment in my room.
you should try it too, it's SO much fun (provided no one is watching you)..

Thankfully, the holidays are almost over (never thought I'd say that), I joined a 3-month course and it begins in a few days.. So I had about one more week to waste, and here's how it went.

So here goes, some of the stuff I've been doing in the past week that can be classified as 'useful':

I Cooked..
whoa! I've never thought of me as a good cook, neither does my ex-roomies..
I did some cooking, the simple stuff, and turns out I can't screw up everytime :)

That's a simple omlette, nothin to brag about, but I DID put in a lot of vegetables and other stuff in, and I expected it to taste terrible.. I was reminded of the Irish Beef Stew from the book "Three men in a boat", where they put in whatever they could find in the boat (and montmorrency turned up with a dead rat :D )
.. but this one actually turned out pretty good :)

french fries anybody?? :)

Made a mouse pad...
Got tired of the mouse having a mind of it's on so took some time and made a simple D-I-Y mousepad, complete with a crappy paint job.

Made some Guitar Picks...
Playing guitar means a big portion of your pocket money goes toward buying guitar picks.. They have this mysterious ability of disappearing two days after buying them.. So I found a nice instructable on making picks from old CD's or DVD's.

made a 50 of these., which I calculated would save me about 1250 rupees in the long run :)

Tried some Origami..
Made some paper airplanes, no big deal.. I started out with more complex stuff like 'dragon-in-flight' and 'caterpillar-on-a-leaf' and 'Bouquet of primula' (whatever that is), but they turned out to be pure mindfuckery, so I had to give up and go browse the kids' sections :|

Screw that, here's my squadron ;)

and some quality time was spent engaging the models in "warfare"

"Suck on these!!!" **KABOOM**

Ah.. to be eight again! :)

I know, I seriously need help! :O
But glad this phase of stagnation is gonna end soon and I'll be back with my friends before I know it..

Until then it's just more cooking, testing them on the poor parents, paper airplane warfare, and yeah, moonwalking!

Sweet Dreams are made of these...

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:25:00 +0000

Okay, before you get sidetracked into thinking this post is about that demon-possessed dope fiend whose music I happen to like..,

it is about the art of lucid dreaming ;)

Well, so far my experience with lucid dreaming involves downloading an ebook on the same two years ago from wikibooks and then forgetting about it.. :/

Since I have so much time by my side right now, I decided to learn something I've always wanted to.
Alot of things turned up, but I narrowed it down to lucid dreaming and Ventriloquism.
and I decided to go with lucid dreaming (abbreviated as LD from here on), cause it's a lot cooler, and well, ventriloquism seems somewhat gay now that i think about it :|

Okay, so what the heck is a lucid dream, you might ask.
Simply put, a Lucid dream is a dream in which you are aware that you are dreaming. Ofcourse, most of us have experienced them, but usually we get too excited and wake ourselves up, while we could've carried on with the dream.

Doesn't sound cool enough? Okay, think of it like this...
you are in the middle of a dream, suddenly you notice something unusual and realise you are in a dream. So now you basically have a world open wide in front of you in which you are ..well, 'omnipotent' would be the right word!
So you wanna do somethin cool? just imagine the laws of gravity doesn't to apply to you.. and just feel yourself levitate..
fly, teleport, morph into a dragon, live your favorite video game,.. you know, when it comes to dreaming, your imagination is the only limit.. remember Matrix trilogy? ;)

Ofcourse, this stuff is not so easy to achieve as it sounds. For some new dreamers, it may take upto two or three years before they attain lucidity, while for most it can come down to a few months / weeks.
and then there are the naturals.. ughh.. they just have it in them! *goes green with envy*

anyway, my quest for lucidity begins tonight (I "started" two nights ago, but you know I get lazy.. :(

If you wanna have LD's yourself, the greatest resource I can point you to is the DreamViews website..
Check out the forum, there's a wealth of information there. The people seem to be helpful, and there are quite a few seasoned lucid dreamers there.. I have a feeling this place is gonna be my new haunt for days to come.
(and they dont do **** <-- this with the f-word, I hate it when forums do that!)

So, like most new LD'ers, I gotta make a checklist of goals that I wanna achieve.. let's see.. *evilgrin*

There's definitely gotta be a first phase to the checklist and that is:

* have a lucid dream :/

and when I'm past that...

* Fly
* pyrokynesis
* talk to my sub-conscious
* Morph into a praying mantis
* Flip off George Bush
* Spend a day in Pandora
* Kick Robert Pattinson in the nutts
* watch a star implode
* make out with Scarlett johansson ;)
* watch a meteorite wipe out the dinosaurs
* play at a Wacken concert
* play some foosball over at joey's apartment
* find my dream guide

Though most (if not all) of these aren't likely to work out, and this may die as yet another small time obsession, I've decided to see how far it goes.. and on the sidebar of this blog I'm gonna update the number of lucid dreams I have had.
it currently clocks in at a whopping ZERO, and will for a long time possibly, but still..

So I'm off to bed now, a couple of hours before my usual bedtime (but still a couple of hours after most normal people have gone to bed)..
wish me luck people..
sweet dreams :)

Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:46:00 +0000

Rock and Roll, and almost all of heavy metal, is a form of art that has always been penalised rather than appreciated by the society.
For the same reason, it is not often that rock/metal finds its way to the silver screen, or the printed media.
But when it does, the result is almost always pure awesomeness.
Whether you are reading Heavier than Heaven (an amazing read btw) or watching the Doors movie (note to self: write a post on rock/metal movies), you'll feel it ;)

Now to the actual point of this post..

One of the most anticipated books in heavy metal history, Dave Mustaine's 'Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir' was released the other day (August 3rd to be precise).

Now if you haven't heard about this guy, or atleast the band Megadeth, you sir, have been living under a Rock!

Alright I've written many posts about them in this blog so I dont wanna go over it again, so just go give a listen to 'a tout le monde' and you'll know why you should know.

So, if you enjoy reading and appreciate a well-written biography, give this one a try.
And if you are a fan of the band, this one's a must read!

The reviews say it's a great read, not just for the typical metalhead. It comes off in a very conversationalist tone, honest and human, and Dave's sense of humor is still intact.
Ofcourse, I'm yet to read the book. but it is Mustaine, he never lets down ;)

Here's the description taken from the Amazon page:

" The fall and rise of a heavy metal icon

Dave Mustaine is the first to admit that he's bottomed out a few times in his dark and twisted speed metal version of a Dickensian life.

Impoverished, transient childhood? Check.

Abusive, alcoholic parent? Check.

Mind-fucking religious weirdness (in his case the extremes of the Jehovah's Witnesses and Satanism)? Check.

Alcoholism, drug addiction, homelessness? Check, check, check.

Soul-crushing professional and artistic setbacks? Check.

Rehab? Check (seventeen times, give or take).

Near-death experience? Check that one, too.

James Hetfield, with whom many years ago Mustaine founded a band known as Metallica, once observed, with some incredulity, that Mustaine must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass. That's how lucky he's been, how fortunate he is to be pulling breath after so many close calls. And Hetfield is right. Mustaine has been lucky.

He has been blessed. But here's the thing about having a horseshoe lodged in your rectum: It also hurts like hell. And you never forget it's there.

Mustaine has battled through it all to achieve dizzying heights. From the early, heady days of Metallica, being unceremoniously let go only to become a world-famous rock star—founder, front man, singer, songwriter, and guitarist (and de facto CEO) for Megadeth, one of the most popular bands in heavy metal—Mustaine's is a story that will inspire, stun, and terrify. "

I have high hopes on this one. The people who have read it all say it's pretty awesome, so I guess I'll be reading it soon.

Here's the link to the amazon page if you wanna check it out or read some reviews:

Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir

From the WTF file, another one..

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 18:35:00 +0000

I dig Chinese food.. On occassion we go out and get our fix of the oriental stuff. and the best thing about it is that it's always unpredictable.. Either you get lucky or you end up tasting yarbles.

besides, some of the items in the menu just crack you up!
like this one for instance:

Read between the lines and you might see something(s) that will make you go WTF!!

LifeUpdate 3.0

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 06:00:00 +0000

droogies!

It's been a while since I've dropped by, and the blog's been gathering dust..
The inactivity, well it can be blamed on my laziness alone..
but really, what else is an ex-engineering-student supposed to do during his post-BTech days, other than savor in the beauty of life laid back!

Anyway, I DID do some stuff during these days, so dont write me off as completely useless!
..and since i'm back here to get my blogging back alive and kicking (you know I say that everytime!), here's a quick update on what I've been upto:

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

Well I was not really a fan of sitcoms, mainly due to the fact that I hadn't watched any. (except maybe 5 seasons of South Park, but since when does cheeky toilet humor qualify as situational comedy? no offense to South Park fans, myself included!).
Anyway, deciding to watch f.r.i.e.n.d.s was the best thing I did to myself these holidays.
So, this friend of mine burned me all 10 seasons of 'friends' (I can't be arsed to do the dots everytime), and soon as college got over, I started with season one.
and I gotta say, I loved every episode! It got so much closer to awesomeness towards the end. 'The one with all the other ones' was especially emotionally charged..
So if you haven't watched it yet, I recommend that you do right away!
Hell, it ran its course for 10 full years, what more proof do you need!

Back to Books
Hell no, not text books again! That wont be until after six months when I'll return to college to face those dreaded backpapers!
I was talkin about the other books, the non-textbook books.
I had this habit of reading profusely when I was young, but that part of me slowly died away, unattended.
So now I've started reading again, and I started with 'The Shining' by Stephen King himself.
..and after a month and I'm at page 266, owing to the fact that I only read at night after 12 when I'm alone in my room, to add to the scare.
What I've read so far, it's been one hell of a horrorshow, and easily this is the scariest book I've ever read! :|

Shutterbug
Another entry into my already huge list of obsessions. I've always wanted to try photography, but it being an expensive hobby, and me being generally stone broke, it seemed like a far-out idea.
But the other day, I was raiding the house to find anything that'd help me kill some time, and I came upon this old camera that my parents had tucked away thinking it was dysfunctional...
..turns out it wasn't! double rainbow baby! You shoulda seen me, happy as a pig in muck!! :)
So now I own a Canon PowerShot A620, and it succeeded in getting me out of my room.
And now I'm addicted, it's like I'm on Prozac, clicking away pictures like crazy. Sometimes I end up with one decent shot from one whole day of clicking, but hell, that one makes my day! :)

and here's my first real shot:

47 days and no drag
It's been a month and a half since I said no to my nicotine addiction and so far I've been faithful, well, kind of... I still get my temptations :(
and there was this one time when I was really pissed and needed a release. So I went out and bought a couple of them ciggis, and when I got back to my room I gave them a very surprised roommate.
I couldn't do it, and now when I look back on it, I'm happy I didn't :)

...

Well that pretty much summarizes all I've been doing (and not doing) these days.
A month and a half of joblessness, and missing college life.
Do I still miss my friends? yes. but I'm slowly learning to move on.
until I stumble upon one of those silly photographs.
or when I get a good sms and open my contact list to forward it to my friends, only to see that most of them are not here anymore, most of them in other countries :(
It is a moment of heartache, partly because I'm overwhelmed by memories..

..and partly when I think of the cost of an International SMS. No kidding, it's a fucking rip-off here!! o_O

bye bye beautiful..

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:54:00 +0000

I sure can remember a time when vacations came and I packed my bags and left for home happily, yelling "Screw you guys, I'm goin home" (yeah, cartman style!)

Well now I've come to a theory that most kids wish the vacations never come when they embark on the final leg of their college lives.. It did in my case.
I dont feel like going home... and no, I have nothing against my folks.
It's just that there's something unexplainably good about sleeping on the hard floor once in a while and having to eat crappy junk food.. when it's with your pals, it feels goood :)

Well, it's all memories now, forever locked inside me and sealed with a kiss..
It sure brings a pang of sadness when I think about it, hell...@#

So, now that it's all over, I too have become one of those accidental engineers, one that did his time without causing too many accidents. and now i've come full circle, clueless about what to do next.. to quote the Good Will Hunting movie, "a cocky, scared-shitless kid". wish me luck.. I'll need it! :|

So here's bidding goodbye to all the beautiful things, thanks for the memories people :)
and i'm happy to say that I've bid goodbye to that beautiful disorder of mine. yeah, I'm referring to my Nicotine cravings. When I flicked out that last butt of cig the other night, I made up my mind never to take another drag... It will be hard, considering how low I feel right now and how much I need a release.. but, let's hope this works out :)

and what did I miss... :/

oh yeah,

"SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOIN HOME!!" :P

..no i can't :'(

College = \m/

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sun, 02 May 2010 20:31:00 +0000

They say, the hardest thing you'll ever learn to do is say goodbye...

Now, as I spend my last few days on my college, I think the bloke that came up with the above words deserves a big pat on the back.. there was a time when I woulda just scoffed at it., but now, no.. just no.

I'm sittin here half-awake right now, the copious amounts of coffee I've had and the several ciggies i've inhaled pulling me towards either side of the thin line between consciousness and unconsciousness..

I have a text book open at my side, crying for attention as I sit and type away mercilessly on my keyboard.

and I gotta say, I'm feeling kinda depressed right now.. something that has become a constant for me lately..

I'm just pissed at the fact that everything these days has the word 'last' attached to it.. last lab, last college day, last counter-strike-in-class-while-the-teacher-is-not-watching, etc etc..
even the exams that have slowly sneaked up on me, is the last I get to write here.. and for some strange reason I hate that fact! :'(

Four years back, when I first came to this college, I didn't know what I was doing here.. okay, I still don't know, but now at least I've got many people by my side wondering the same thing..

and now, after living four years at this place that now feels just like home, I can't help breaking apart everytime I think of leaving..

Just a few of the beautiful things I'm gonna miss..

The combine study sessions..
a process that involved alot of kathifying and money going into the canteen owner's pocket before we finally decide to flunk and leave lookin for the exam hall..

Life on the back bench
we weren't like the usual back benchers - unproductive folks who does nothin but sleep. We also played and finished lots of mobile games, ate a lot of food, made music, took cool photographs, and accumulated alot of useless information from the internet (stuff that can help you win a trivia contest), ...besides, well, sleep :|

ikka's
another of those memorable places.. it provided a perfect getaway for us guys from all the lectures and woes during the lunch break.. taking a drag from a cig while eating n drinking random stuff from ikka's shelf and chattin away.. heaven!

The frags
no other class would be as excited about the project hours as us folks.. to us it meant bringing our laptops, connecting via wifi, launching counter-Strike, and kicking each other's asses for half a day ;)

The birthdays
cake cutting in the canteen, the cacophony that was in fact meant to be "happy birthday to you..", smearing the cake on others,.. in short, scaring the hell out of the people in the canteen ;)

The trips - both official and unofficial
quickly planning a trip, putting it all together, dancing like crazy on the bus on the way, letting go of all the worries in the world.. will they ever happen again! :'(

paper wars
ah! no better way to escape from a boring lecture! someone always set it off, and the rest followed suit. soon every single person would be gettin pelted with paper until the lecturer threw someone out of the class... lucky stiffs!

eating out.. there always seemed to be more than enough food and someone always paid the bill..

The crazy stuff we pulled off in class
the graffiti work, mission peembi, the games,..
the most memorable one was bringing bottles of vodka to the classroom and gettin hammered X)

the dreaded days when exam papers were distributed and the ones who passed (if there were any) gettin their backs owned

customizing the desks with self-made logos and lyrics and whatnot. Even the college ID cards were not spared!

the fact that we were such camera whores ;)
the pics always turned up with people in impossibly stupid poses but who cared!

The occasional trips to bpm or O'mall or wherever.
rarely buying anything, mostly window shopping.. and always appreciating beauty in its natural form - chicks ;)

my shirt filled with all your autographs
truly, the greatest gift anyone could ever give me.. you rock!

The farewell day
one of the best days in my life ever.. made me realize how much I've grown to love this place and the people in it..

Sometimes I really wonder if I could start over.. hop on a Delorean and go straight back to the first day on college so I could live it again.. but then I wonder if I'll screw something up and lose any of the people endeared to me.. I want these memories to just stay the way they are., with all the beautiful imperfections.. :)

besides, life isn't about going back, it's about going forward. The adventure of life is that there's always something new.. a fun game is one that gets harder as it goes, so it is with life.. (guess where I heard this - South Park!)

well, I don't know what the future holds for me.. new challenges, experiences, new friends,.. but I'm sure these 4 years will remain the most beautiful time of my life for ever.. :)

to all my friends, every single one of you.. and especially my beloved AEI 2006-2010 batch. love y'all.. gonna miss ya like hell! :'(

reminded of a song lyric I've heard way back..
"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." :)

Measled! :'(

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 08:08:00 +0000

That's it. now I'm truly, literally measled.

Now, I'd be happy to get this disease at any other time. Measles always looked badass on the tv screen, take the classic tom & jerry for example ;)

But now, with just a couple of weeks left in college, and just when life couldn't get any better, this little f*cker had to show up! :@

I just hope that I'll recover soon and be back in time for the tech fest in our college (we've got paintball baby! check out this link :D ) or atleast in time for our farewell day :'(

til then, I'm gonna be home and be a super measled couch potato.

Alright now, the bag's packed and soon I'll be on my way to the land of no internet connectivity..
Good bye to my friends and my online life for a week.

bye.. take care :)

The New Year Post..

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:02:00 +0000

My new year posts always turn up a little late..
Last year it was a terrible hangover that held me up..
..and this year, it's this confounded road accident that got me a few bruises and stitches and kept me bedridden throughout the holidays.. not a good start at all!

Anyway, I'm here now, and first of all, my belated new year wishes to y'all! :)

Alright, last year I made a list of New Year Resolutions, a list of role models to be precise, and I can't say I've been very honest in achieving them, except maybe the Ace Ventura bit, I pulled off that alright.. :|

Anyway, this being the start of a new year as well as a new decade., I decided to take the whole business of new year resolutions more seriously.. No superhuman stuff that I won't be able to pull off!

So, here goes:

write diary

More laundry and less deodorant (used to be the other way round)

Listen to class (atleast the ones in which I'm present)

Learn some serious programming

Turn up at college on time everyday (!)

Form a band, get involved in the scene

Launch a personal website

Pay off debts

Listen to 100 new albums

write a song

learn the thriller dance

learn touch typing

Bring down my abuse of emoticons

Get a driving license

live instead of exist ;)

A fairly simple list.. but I dont know how many of these are going to go unkept.. Some of them just look harrowing..! (like the early bird part.. OMG!)

----

Another resolution, not just for the year: No more ads on this blog!
cuz you don't stick them on the walls of your own home, right? :)

Sealed with a kiss...

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 21:14:00 +0000

Alreirght I jus.t wanna find out what happens when I write a post while3 i'm completrely wasted..

Dont get me wrong., I'm not an addict..
I dont drink regularly. But whenI do, I make sure that I drink and smoke to the point wher I walk like a zombie and have to go to sleep cause another step would result in me throwin up my goddamn guts.

Alright
I've been listening to a lot of emotional music lately..

and by that, I dont mean the 'I slit my wrist cuz she stole my eyeliner' kind of emo crap out there these days.

This is some real music man!

----

The Velvet Underground - Heroin
It took a stoner to write it, and takes a stoner to get it.
Many of my pals didnt lioke it. maybe I should make them smoke some dope and try again

Radiohead - How to disappear completely
What''s a playlist wiothout some radiohead threown in.! This song is my absolute favorite from Radiohed.
"I walk through walls.. I float down the liffey.."
I want this one played at my funeral. and I MEAN IT!!

Coldplay - The Scientist.
You know., if you listen to one song continuously during a spoecific period, and then you listen to it after a long time, memories come gushing in..
This song is no exception, and it's just lovely.
and did i mention it's my official dope son g?!

Megadeth - A tout le monde
goes on to prove that a song doesnt hav to be mellow to sound sad.
angry guitars can be just as sad..
man, this one I'd definitely certify at their best, and the reaasonIm such a goddamn diehard megadeth fan

Sigur Ros - Staralfur
Sigur Ros sings in a mede-up lenguage, cause they believe words are not necesary to create beautiful music.
I'd call this track 'ethereal', cause it is.
literally

othre songs in heavy rotation:

Alice in chains - nutshell
Katatonia - soil's song
Megadeth - The hardest part of letting go
nirvana - Something in the way
countinG Crows - colorblind
Denali - lose me
Wihin temptation - somewhere
Gorillaz- feel good inc.
Collective soul -december
Radiohead- Creep

I know im noyt making any sense but

what the heck!

Donnie Darko : They made me do it

noreply@blogger.com (mantiz) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:44:00 +0000

I'm a sucker when it comes to movies.
I have seen my fair share of good movies and crap movies, and there have been some truly remarkable ones (Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Dark Knight, etc..)
But this is the first time I'm blogging about one, and not without a reason.

I've watched this goddamn movie five times in two days, and I can only say one thing:
It is easily the best movie I've watched in years.

Damn.. it does stuff to your head!

It is difficult to classify Donnie Darko into a specific genre. Sci-fi, Romance, Head-trip, Dark humor, time travel, schizophrenia,. heck, I don't know! it's all there..

The film asks this basic question: What if the universe as we live it really isn't as we imagine it?

Here's the basic storyline:
Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal), a mentally disturbed teenager, appears to suffer from a variety of symptoms. His parents and sisters are concerned about him. One night, Donnie sleepwalks and meets Frank (James Duval), a man in a menacing rabbit costume. Frank tells him that in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds, the world will end. While he is outside, a jet engine mysteriously crashes through the roof of Donnie's bedroom.

Alright, that makes up about the first ten minutes of the movie. Thought I was gonna write down the whole storyline for you huh?
nope, not gonna happen. 'cause I dont wanna ruin it. You better to go watch the film in its entirety.. You won't regret it.

All I say is:
* Some really good dark humor
* One of the saddest endings ever.. truly epic (and unexpected!)
* The soundtrack is fucking sweet. Check out the attached video
* Frank scares the shit outta me!
* The acting is really commendable. unforgettable characters.. Jena malone looks incredibly beautiful

and the best thing, everytime you watch it,you find something you never noticed before. (did I mention that it takes a few replays to finally understand whats goin on?)

Check out this video. Gotta say, this song has really started growing on me.. beautiful lyrics and fits nicely into the film..

----

Just putting down some of my favorite quotes from the movie:

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Donnie: I made a new friend today.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Real or imaginary?
Donnie: Imaginary.

Gretchen: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something
Donnie: What makes you think I'm not?

Jim Cunningham: Son... DO YOU SEE THIS? This is an Anger Prisoner. A textbook example. DO YOU SEE THE FEAR, PEOPLE? This boy is scared to death of the truth. Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places...
Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty- I'm, I'm pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I... and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the fucking Antichrist.

Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.
Donnie: Oh, I have those too! What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?
Gretchen: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.
Donnie: Oh.

Roberta Sparrow: [whispering into Donnie's ear] Every creature on this earth dies alone.

Cherita Chen : Chut up!
Ronald Fisher: Go Back to China, bitch.

Donnie: [to his mother] How's it feel to have a wacko for a son?
Rose Darko: It feels wonderful.

Donnie: [in a letter] Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.

-------