I don’t know about you guys, but I spend so much time having the same problems. I worry about the same stuff over and over. No matter how much money I have, I worry if it is enough. I worry about whether or not I’m being a good enough parent whether we are playing in the park or I am irritably refusing to listen to one more monologue about the mages of Skyrim because my head feels like exploding. (Yes, I speak video game). Mostly I worry about breaking my child. I worry about whether or not I’m doing the right stuff for my business a whole bunch. I had a car that was falling apart and I worried about getting stranded on the side of the road so much that I traded it in, and now I have a lovely car with a fantastic warranty! So I worry now about all the new debt.

Circumstances change, but what stays the same is that I will worry about it. You bet I will.

So I said at the beginning of this post that I didn’t know if you did this sort of thing, but I lied.

I know you do it. I know for a fact that you worry unneccesarily and incessantly.

I know it, not because I’m peeking in your windows, but because it’s just what we human freakshows do. Every last one of us.

Have you ever heard of Sydney Smith? Yeah, I hadn’t either. He is an old cleric from the early 1800’s and he wrote some smart things down. And I only know who he is because of Wikipedia, because I looked him up to make sure I wasn’t accidentally quoting a serial killer or Tea Party member or something, so phew, he is a British guy from a long time ago who said this:

Human beings cling to their delicious tyrannies and to their exquisite nonsense, till death stares them in the face.

I know, right?

Think about it.

We walk around assuming we don’t like or want our problems, but we actually LOVE them. They are our best fucking friends. They are the bad relationship we can’t leave because it’s what we know. They are the comfort zone of our discomfort. We don’t let our tyranny out of our sight because we think it is delicious.

But I don’t love my problems, Meg, you weirdo!

Yeah, I know you are saying that because I’m totally peeking in your window right now.

Can you see me? I’m tapping on the glass and mouthing the words, “Stop arguing. You do too like your problems.” Because whatever you are complaining about right now, whatever you wish you could change? You actually know what to do to change it, and you are not doing it. Or you aren’t doing it for long enough, or consistently and you quit at the brink of success so you have to start all over. There is some way that you are sabbotaging or stagnating or the thing would be a done deal. You know you can’t argue with that. Because there you are. Still wanting.

You have become the person who has always wanted to be healthier, change your job or relationship, stop being reactive when your kid does that one thing that you have vowed to be patient about again and again, stop worrying so much about what people think, whatever your thing is. Rather than the person who is.

That it is your delicious tyranny. Your comfort zone. The evil that you know. It’s habits. It’s human. 

So let me ask you this.

Who would you be if you were not the person always trying to do the thing that never happens?

What would happen if you actually got the thing you originally set out to wanting?

Who would you be if you were not habitually in self improvement?

Who would you be if you just did what you needed to do to get where you want to be?

Or you decided that you were already okay? Because you really don’t have to change at all, you know. You could just stop wanting to.

That’s a lot of questions and I’m running out of air.

The obvious answer is, that you would still be you. Because I’m not trying to feed you some kind of flowery version of future perfection. Like if you just stop it already you will FINALLY be free of any problems at all and just be extremely cool and sexy all the time.

You will never be David Hasselhoff. Deal with it. 

But the extremely great news is that if you take a leap of faith into the untamed and unwritten unknown, if you choose to take a different track and persist through and past your old habits, if you do whatever it takes…you will be a freer version of you. 

And freedom is kind of like the whole point, you know, being able to actually have a say in your behaviors and the outcomes once in a while. Being able to take responsibility for your bullshit. Being free to know what the hell you are doing and why is a big deal, you guys.

Being self aware actually does make you way cooler and sexier, by the way. 

Also, deciding to overthrow the inner dictator and stop the tyranny will solve some of your problems and you will get some things you want.

Of course, full disclosure – once you solve your current problems, you will then get some new problems.

But, let’s be honest, having the same problems forever, circling the same wheel, is so boring.

So at the very least you get new problems!  Not boring!

And you will get more sexy, sexy self awareness. And maybe you will, you know, grow.

Asking questions opens doors. So the next time you find yourself worrying about the same old thing, doing the same drama and boring yourself (and all of us) to tears with it, you might ask yourself, who would you be without that suffering?

Seriously.

Who would you be if you didn’t have your precious pain? Your delicious tyrannies?

 Neon Art piece by t Bruce Nauman

So, what do you do? It’s always uncomfortable to have to school people on how to be respectful. But unless you want to be a mess of seething rage, it’s really important to be super clear about where you end and others begin.

Recently I was talking this through with a client and I came up with a pickle scenario to illustrate this, and I decided that it was just too good (or at least too insane) not to share with you.

Honestly, I don’t ever really know if you will find me as charmingly eccentric as I find me, but either way, here you go.

Say you are eating a pickle. 

It is the last pickle from the pickle jar and it is outstanding. It is the best pickle you have ever eaten and you wish there were ten of them, but there is just this one and it is your favorite.

Your friend comes up to you and says, “Hey. That pickle looks really tasty. Can I have the rest of it?”

I know. It’s weird for someone to want the pickle right out of your mouth, right? But WHAT IF, you guys?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Do you feel obligated to share your pickle?

Aw man, I guess I have to give up the pickle because here I am hogging up the very last one like a selfish beast. Nice people share. I know this because I totally learned it in kindergarten and if I don’t share this pickle even though it is the love of my life, my friend might hate me. So…

“I guess. Sure. Here you go.”

You hand over the pickle with a faux smile and feel fairly good about your martyrdom, at least until the seething rage sets in. You watch the pickle juice run down the ecstatic chin of your friend and think that would be a great place to put your fist. Smile.

Or, conversely,

Your friend asks you if they can have the rest of your pickle and you have had just about enough of everybody trying to take food right out of your goddamned mouth and you say, “HELL NO. GET OFF MY PICKLE, YO.”

Ok, so you might not say that exact thing because that would be silly, but so is the idea that someone would want your half eaten pickle. And I don’t get to write about pickles and turn them into innuendos every day so I totally said that.

Anyway, when you do that aggressive pickle defense maneuver your friend is mad and hurt. Maybe they don’t even want to be your friend anymore. At first you don’t even care because who needs a pickle poaching friend? NOT YOU. And you feel very self righteous until the shame sets in and you spend the next six days crying over internet memes and sending apologetic emails.

Pretty much, either scenario makes you feel like a horrible human and spending any time feeling like a horrible human is exhausting and a waste of your precious time. It’s the kind of thing that makes you immediately want to melt some cheese on something and gulp it down with a mason jar full of merlot. Am I right?

So here is a little prompt for what clear and kind boundary setting might look like:

Friend asks for pickle.

You: “No. I don’t want to give it to you. I love this pickle so much I’m going to eat it all myself. They sell them at the bodega down the street. You should go get yourself some. In fact, you should get us both some and we can eat pickles and watch Game of Thrones together.”

You don’t even have to add that last part where you invite more interaction. Unless you really want to. Or unless you need help keeping track of the twisted labyrinth that is Game of Thrones because good grief who doesn’t.

Darling, you are allowed to say no soley because wanting someone’s half eaten food is really weird.

You know what else is weird? Asking you to work for free, or on your day off (when you haven’t expressley invited this), or asking you to do or give anything you have already clearly stated that you don’t have or don’t want to give.

And sometimes saying no (especially to friends and clients) with clarity and efficacy and then carrying on without losing sleep, can be uncomfortable.

But the more you practice, the less awkward and infuriating it will be.

Promise.

Questions? Need help figuring out how to set your boundaries so you don’t end up drained and compensating with food and other destructive behaviors?

Call me anytime on a Sunday and we can talk about it for hours!

Just kidding.

You should totally schedule an appointment with me and I will absolutely help you get your life and health in order because health coaching with me is awesome and so comprehensive it includes tools to ensure that all areas of your life are feeding rather than starving you. I would love to see you being wildly successful, happy and healthy. It’s what I do.   

See how that works?

It would also be cool if you write comments about pickles, Game of Thrones, or tell stories of how people have tried to trample your good boundaries and what you did about it so other people can learn from YOU.

Ok. So go ahead and carry on being brilliant now.

I adore you.

XO,

Meg

They crowd the corners, they teeter on the top of the already full bookshelves, despite the bags of them I take to resell. I read them six or seven or eight at a time. Sometimes it takes me a day to finish one, sometimes I only read a few pages at a time and it takes years to finish them. It depends. On the book, on the room or the mood I’m in. The only non-variable is books.

I have loads of cookbooks as you might imagine. I savor the beautiful food pictures, the poetic lists of ingredients, I can taste the spices as I read about them. Sometimes I cook the recipes in these books exactly as directed, sometimes I just use them for guidelines, getting ideas about new flavors, combinations, or how to use an ingredient that has fascinated, but evaded me. I love cookbooks, yes.

But I also, and probably even more so, love books about philosophy, religion, ideas, culture, art, fiction. I love reading poetry out loud in the bathtub, I rub my hands all over pages of art, photography – the life story captured in a single image, and I get absolutely lost in the beautiful and brutal bravery of a well written memoir. Real honest truths take my breath away. They remind me that the hardest, most unknowable things about life are revealed in the extraordinary stories of ordinary people. When people tell their most tender things, it has a way of permitting us to articulate and accept our own scary stuff. It takes fear and shame and turns it into facts. Small things can alter everything and the uncurable can be endured and transformed.

As the eleventh Dr. Who says,

We’re all just stories in the end.

So here is a list of seven of the books I have recently read that are well worth sharing because they are guaranteed to change your life. Really. Read them.

1. Sprouted Kitchen  by Sara Forte with photography by Hugh Forte.

I would do pretty much anything to be invited to Sara and Hugh’s house for dinner. Or even just cocktails and snacks. This is part cookbook, part luscious, luscious food art book. Quinoa Collard Wraps w/ Miso-Carrot Spread, Mango Guacamole, Fennel Slaw, the perfect scrambled eggs and french pressed coffee, happy hour…

2. The Healthy Juicer’s Bible by Farnoosh Brock

Finally, a book that makes juicing feel easy and accessible. I don’t publicly talk about juice a ton. I’m not really sure why, seeing as I down the stuff by the half gallon. Maybe I’m silenced by the scads of people screaming “Green Juice!” all of the time all over the internet. This wellness conversation can sometimes feel bossy, elitist and lack a sense of humor. But this book is anything but. It is super sincere and full of the raw truth about how juice can be the key to a level of health you will be excited about maintaining. I treat my local juice bar (Kure in Portland) as necessary maintenance like the chiropracter, acupuncturist or exercise.

So kudos to Farnoosh for writing this gorgeous, straight forward, demystifying book about the wonders of getting fresh, enzyme-rich, and seriously DELICIOUS vegetable juice into your body. Jokes about tequila might be funnier than jokes about beet juice, but that is no excuse for your health to suffer. Juice rules, you guys. And whatever resistance you might have to adding it to your life will be assisted by this sweet little book. You want to know where to start? What kind of juicer to buy? How juice can make every single thing you do better? Plus mouthwatering recipes? This book.

3. Eating For Beauty by David Wolff

This isn’t the first time I have talked about this book. And it definitely won’t be the last. Out of all of the food books I have ever read, this one gave me the most motivation and understanding of what is so powerful and healing about food. It is such a comprehensive and accessible guide to the most powerful foods on earth and why. It covers the powerful properties of raw foods, popular health concerns and, in addition, it completely redefines beauty and how to achieve radiance from the inside. Plus there are these really rad pictures of food taken with kirlean photography. Which means  you get to see the aura of an organic fig and stuff like that. Buy it for the fig auras. Keep it as a life line.

4. Help Thanks Wow by Anne Lamott

This simple little book was a gift to me from a client recently. I love presents! And, of course, it came at one of those times when a more perfect thing couldn’t have arrived at a more perfect time.  Anne Lamott swiftly and without too much disclaimer, (after initially unpacking all of the heavy semantics around “God” and “Prayer”), presents three essential prayers – Help, Thanks and Wow.

Mostly, she reminds us that everything we are doing all day long is prayer and it is merely adding the intention that brings us back to wonder. That all of life is infused with sacristy if we choose to behave as if it is.

5. Seeing Ezra by Kerry Cohen

This is definitely one of those heartbreakingly beautiful memoirs. The ones where someone brave tells a story of their life and even though it might not be a thing that has ever happened to you, it beats your heart for a bit and makes you feel connected and alive and part of something bigger than yourself. Kerry writes about her life with her young autistic son and the challenges she faced learning to accept this unexpected situation, how she navigated, sometimes painfully, always powerfully, the myriad of input from the world about how to “fix” her child, and ultimately learned to see her son as a whole, perfect and incredibly dear gift.

This is a story of pure, unconditional love. It is a story for mothers. A story for artists. It is a story for anyone who has ever put something new and vulnerable and untamed into the world. This is a story of how we ultimately have to step back, shut out the noise, and find our way out of judgement and deep into the thick of grace to ever see anything at all with clarity. To ever see anything at all as whole. To ever truly see ourselves.

6. Fall Ill Medicine by Carrie Seitzinger

This is not your grandparent’s poetry. This brilliance gets bloody. It breaks ribs. And then swiftly, softly, and surprisingly mends the broken bits of your soul you didn’t even know needed mending. These poems will ride around under your skin casting shadows behind your eyelids. There are secrets here that want to speak. Trust me. You need this book.

7. The Elements of Style by Strunk/White/Kalman

I got this beauty of a book for my birthday last year and have since decided that it should be owned by every writer everywhere even if you aready have style and voice in spades – and you do, darling, you do. You need it because this book isn’t just about writing style, it is about stylestyle. From the little “hello” on the front cover, to the tiny “goodbye” in the back, the pages are filled with gleeful paintings to illustrate the perfection of well written prose. This is a book for reading, for learning, and for petting.

So, what awesome things have you read lately? Should I add them to my list?

I don’t know about you, but it just makes me feel bad about myself when all I see as the definition of epic shit is sexy people traveling around the world making a difference. Or just instagramming their bare feet in front of ocean waves. The people who do epic shit are on stages in high heels with sleek calves, right? They have a trending hashtag, or are cuddling up to Oprah in photographs that look shopped but aren’t. They vision board.

I always think pictures of ordinary people with Oprah look shopped. Just me?

And of course all of this stuff is great, but this is not the only definition of epic shit, you guys. It is just a tiny part of the story.

As far as I’m concerned, epic shit can also look like getting all the things on a to-do list accomplished on most days. Or at least getting most of those things accomplished on most days.

It is sometimes keeping my child alive on frozen fish sticks and canned clam chowder because I can’t battle over kale every day. Yeah, I am a health coach, but my son didn’t hire me to make him eat kale, he just needs me to love him and be a decent example and when I succeed at that without screwing it up and having to apologize for acting like a human who didn’t get parenting lessons, I consider it epic also.

I consider keeping my child, and for that matter myself, alive to be epic.

I consider going to the grocery store to be epic.

These suits are utterly epic.

Oh the grocery store. Making a list, getting dressed, parking, crowds and acute sensory input overload, and then… small talk. Cashiers are all, “Got any big plans today?”

I get all paralyzed because small talk is so confusing, and I end up saying something nonsensical, too loud and with spazzy intonation. “No! I’m not going kayaking!”

And it’s true. I’m not going kayaking, even though it’s sunny out, even though that is what epic shit is supposed to look like. Nope, I am going right back home because I’m in the epic business of making sure my son’s homework gets finished and that we stay hydrated.

Epic looks like not having visible pee on the toilet seat.

It looks like doing the laundry, folding it and putting it away. Or at least, putting it in the right room.

It looks like functioning at the summit of my grooming potential now and then.

It looks like social time with friends for laughing.

It looks like the fact that there are people in my life that love me despite all the mistakes I make.

And, of course, it looks like all of the stability I have built despite getting dragged kicking and screaming into adulthood. It is the things I get written, captured, crafted, the meals shared, the good parenting moments, making a beautiful home no matter how many times I have moved somewhere new, started over from scratch. It looks like taking care of myself, my health and the health of my clients who trust me with their softest and hardest stuff. Yeah, that happens and it is seriously epic.

Sweetheart, I am not advocating mediocre shit. I really want you to write the book and start the business and do the art because all of that saves lives. I want you to travel to beautiful places and do useful things while you are there or just instagram your toenail polish in the sand. I want Oprah to meet you so I can make jokes about how funny you guys look in the photo together.

I will totally like that epic shit on Facebook when it happens to you.

But you should also know that just surviving all of the intensity and grief you have had to survive in this one go-round and still waking up every day and making a play for love is so beautiful it could crush my heart.

You should know with every cell of you that maintaining faith that everything will be ok, even when that faith is fueled by fury, is epic. Being able to remember to breathe once in awhile and witness how time slows down and expands just to honor the fact that you are paying attention, is epic. Being in awe of nature when you remember to notice it is epic. Those times that you feel good in your skin no matter how rare that happens are epic. The fact that these things, these sweet moments find their way through your chaos, past your walls of resistance, despite your clever excuses and your never ending insistence that you don’t deserve them… is epic shit, and you are doing it.

You should know that what you are already doing is enough.

You are enough.

So stop it with the  pressure already, ok?

Love you. I mean it.

XO,

Meg

image by me

I know your world is full of people saying different and not so different variations of, “Spring! Spring is coming!” But I don’t care. I’m doing it too, because I am EXCITED. These temperate, transitional seasons are my absolute favorite and they never fail to fill me with enthusiasm and new impetus.

I wish you could smell this daphne that lives on my block, but a smelly internet would be weird.

Anyhow, enthusiasm and impetus are two things that are super valuable for any endeavor, but are especially important if, like me, you have your own business. The momentum must be maintained! And, when outside forces conspire to keep us going, it is always mucho appreciated. But we also have to do things to maintain that momentum ourselves. Good, solid, self-care is non-negotiable.

Recently, I had the privilege of writing an article for Illana Burk’s crazy fantastic new site, Makeness Media. It is all about some of the smart and simple things you can do to keep your business momentum going. Really, it’s good advice no matter what you do. Because living is big and heavy and it’s up to you to keep things moving.

Here it is. Go take a look:

So I got to thinking about all the things you might say to you. And how absurd it is for you to be so mean to yourself. And how much I think you should treat yourself like the soft and adorable creature you are.

So, to illustrate the absurdity of it all, I gathered up a bunch of cute animals to criticize. Yep, it’s a serious sacrifice, being verbally horrid to innocent animals and all, but it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make if you will start being sweeter to yourself.

Here you go.

Damn, you are one lazy bunny. The house is a mess, the dog needs a walk and you’re getting fat. You pretty much fail at life. Loser. 

No one likes you, duckling, you needy little fool. No one wants to hear what you have to say. You should really just leave this party and go home and eat ice cream because who really cares.

Grow up.

 You have exactly zero self control, hamster. Ever hear of portion sizes? I hate you.

Another cookie? Really, rabbit? Obviously you’re not eating anything tomorrow and doing a double workout.

Pig. 

 You are always making such a big deal out of everything, tiny monkey. Relax already.

Blubber butt. And let’s not even talk about you wearing white in the winter. 

Another inappropriate relationship doomed for failure. You’re hopeless, lamb. You too, goat.

Dude. I don’t even know what you are so we will just call you LOUD MOUTH.

You are fooling no one, hedgehog.

There are really no words for how awful you are, puppy. All I know is you make me want to drink.

Your frog hat makes you look fat, gerbil. 

Your fat hat makes you look cat, frog. Wait.

Now I’m just completely distracted by the fact that “animals in frog hats” is a thing. So it’s probably a good place to stop. Although, seriously? What is the deal with these two idiots?

Alright? Get it? It’s just as weird (and not nearly as funny) for you to do it to you. So stop it.

Hearts, darling,

Meg

image sources unknown. if they are yours please let me know and i’ll credit or remove immediately.

The sky over my morning run.

You already know plenty of reasons why you should exercise. You are inundated with media messages about it. All kinds of tips and tricks and reasons all over every magazine and website. All those shopped bodies beckoning you to just do a little more, lazybones so you can be like us. It can actually be so overwhelming (or annoying) that you don’t even want to deal with it. I get it.

So, in the event that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition falls short in motivating you… I thought I would give you some real world reasons why moving is going to make you healthier, happier and fill your pockets full of cash. Really, exercise can be key to hard work, new ideas, and running a successful business. Because it really does make such a difference.

Allons-y! 

1. Core strength

Core strength is more than just tight abs, it is about alignment. Everything in its place, top to bottom, working properly. A well oiled machine. It is about having a strong center, and strong muscles around your spinal column which is the freeway of your central nervous system. Your central nervous system is pretty much the hard drive of your body moving crucial information to and from every single part of you. Keep your core strong and your whole body and all its systems are protected.

2. Exercise makes you kinder 

I mean it. It gives you endorphins and gets the angst out, it gets the stuck stuff moving and helps you sweat out the literal and metaphorical toxins before you do something rash. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.

3. You will be more productive

Really. You may think you don’t have time to exercise, but really, you don’t have time not to. Exercising will increase your energy so you can do more things more effectively. Plus, time will expand to accommodate your genuine intentions. Time is awesome that way. Read this about time.

 4. Deeper sleep 

Which means you get to feel rested and refreshed when you are awake. Also, dreaming is cool.

5. You will have great ideas while you are away from your desk and moving around

Platinum ideas. Money ideas. Life changing ideas. The world needs your ideas.

6. Exercise is an insurance policy for your creative sanity

A strong body equals a strong mind. You put a whole lot of your heart into your art, darling, and being a creative powerhouse who puts yourself so fully out there all the time can leave you emotionally drained and vulnerable. A strong back and body helps protect you from being crushed by the bigness of it all.

7. Exercising saves time and energy 

Seriously, the amount of of time and energy it takes NOT to exercise when you know it will serve you, is like a program constantly running in the back of your mental hard drive. It’s always on, draining your battery. And it takes a lot of your life force to resent and/or compare yourself to all the people you see exercising when you aren’t. Constantly feeling like you aren’t doing enough is exhausting. Go exercise for 15 minutes and save yourself all of that trouble. Go. Seriously. You can read the rest of this later.

8. Sex is better  

And then you saw the word “sex” and you’re still reading, right? Well good for you, kitten, because this is important and we are almost done. The thing about sex is, if you get out there and exercise, you will feel better about your body and better in your body, which makes you feel sexier, which will actually get you out of your knickers and into the sack more often. And once you’re between the sheets, exercise gives you the strength and stamina to make the earth move, fireworks ignite, blow minds, etcetera. (And then there is this study, which says some women actually orgasm during exercise. Just saying. That’s kind of like a reason #8b.)

9. It will heal your broken heart

That sweet heart of yours works so hard pumping blood all the way down to your toes and back. Do you realize that when you use your leg muscles rhythmically — for example, when you are walking, running or riding your bike — that those muscles become like extra pumping hearts sending blood back up to the big guy? Your calf muscles are giant hearts! Who knew!? So do your part to cure heartbreak by giving your heart a little break.

10. You

No one else is you and you are absolutely perfect. And a powerful way to be really, truly grateful for all the perfect that you are is to take excellent care of you. Exercising makes you more you. And that’s just good for everyone. Oh, and if you have extra weight to lose, you will lose it. But that can be a  side effect of all of the other amazing things that happen to your life when you’re strong and healthy.

And just incase the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition does inspire you, here’s a reminder that you shouldn’t exercise because…

1. You are torturing yourself for eating too much.
2. Everyone else is doing it and they seem like they have life way more in order than you.
3. You think that if you exercise you will be magically thin and therefore loveable, finally and forever. Blech. No.

So what are you going to do to get moving this week? Let me know in the comments or email me. (Saying things outloud to another person makes them way more powerful, you know).

P.S. Need accountability? You should head over to my coaching page to see all the newness I just launched over there. Need Community? Join the Feed Me Darling Recipe Subscription Service and get access to our spanking new, private Facebook page where you can meet other health-minded-big hearted-artsy-types like your gorgeous self.

On this day of celebrating love, I hope you do something very, very nice for your sweet self. And for the people you love. I want to give you two presents. 1. My current favorite love poem (below) and 2. A playlist to soundtrack your day.

Love you. I mean it. XO, Meg.

It’s national Fall-Madly-In-Love-Day

by Mindy Netifee

Also: Blame-Oxytocin-Day,

The-Neighbors-Won’t-Mind-Day,

and Lord-Have-Mercy-Week amongst devout believers everywhere.

The amorousness supplies are high!

You can tell by the lipstick on my ankles

I’ve decided to celebrate in style.

You can see from the milky look in my eyes

I think I’m ready for anything, and it’s true—

we are going to party all other holidays into submission.

We’ve got mountains of ticker tape

shredded from shitty insincere Valentines

and enough cantaloupe flavored jelly bellies

to pelt the Easter Bunny back

to the religious doubt factory it came from.

We’ve got a soundtrack of trust fall squeals to clink drinks to.

So why can’t I get you on the phone?

A new report by the Department of Miseries

claims 8 out of 10 broken hearts are crushed beyond repair.

It’s a tune you’ve been singing all week.

You are every cynic’s back up choir.

I know what the world did to you.

I know it’s easy to retreat behind the shields of graceful bitterness.

It is the hardest think in the world to tolerate being loved.

and being loved again, like tanning on the surface of the sun.

But you don’t know what I know.

That report didn’t take into account that 

the most resilient parts of ourselves are hidden 

in the bomb shelters of each other’s eyes.

It didn’t take into account the mounting evidence

that joy is an involuntary muscle.

It didn’t factor in that this has been the best apocalypse ever.

So I am submitting a counter-report.

I am submitting grandfather clocks, dozens of them.

locked in a dust-clouded room illuminated

with the ill romance of musty curtain light.

An old bent over clockmaker is winding

and freeing the pendulums at different times,

setting loose a klutzy tinkling that sounds like

pyramids of teacups perpetually buckling.

In only two days time the clocks will synchronize.

It’s a law of physics— vibratory frequencies in a closed system

seek the path of least resistance. Pendulums will sway in perfect time

and you would never see the thousand lazy changes it took.

just the sudden satisfying lock step.

Everything wants to be bound to everything else.

Lightning charges someone’s porch swing night sky.

It leads to two hands clasping electrically

beneath a blanket that will someday smell like home.

Neurotransmitters leap like liquid fish from crystal bowls

so some kid can learn to play the guitar.

He will write the song that will call her back to you.

Our hearts are just muscle fisted clocks,

keeping their own time with this messy sentiment of drumming.

Even the broken ones. Even yours.

So today we will unlock the good chemistry cabinet.

We will make this world shine again

by installing kaleidoscopes in our peripheral vision.

We will assault this entire town with sweet ukulele jams

and beam medicated rainbows from our chests.

We spill out like gutted pirate treasure chests

like our sorrows had been rubies all along.

Trust will flood you like a baptism.

like a monsoon of yeses.

The magnets beneath my skin will draw the magnets beneath your skin

and we will power kiss on every bridge we can find.

We will reinvent osmosis.

It’s already happening—everyone is falling a little in love with everyone else.

We will get so foolish and boozy just knowing this.

We will be shameless, wasteful gazillionaires of lovin’, so flush with love

we will throw it all away and make more, and throw it all away again.

We will regret every second of it in the best possible way,

the way any God who has a thing for apples

must have intended it.

image by me.

First of all, you are not alone. And you are going to be ok. I promise.

And, there are things you can do in lieu of losing your mind, or numbing yourself out with sugar or other substances. Instead, you can use one of nature’s most perfect comfort foods to feed your roots and get grounded in a more sustainable way. By your roots, I’m talking about the part of you that dips into the earth to tap into that great well of energy that is available to you at all times, that you don’t have to manufacture all by your lonesome.

I’m going to give you a couple of great ideas, but first I want to remind you that, darling, you live on an amazing planet that wants to feed and support you. The earth is carrying you around all the time, and yet, you are still behaving as if, like Atlas, you must haul it around on your own tired shoulders. You don’t.

So stop.

Take a deep breath.

Sit up tall.

Feel your seat in your chair and let you shoulder blades slide down towards your heels.

Take another breath and, on the exhale, let that great cosmic weight slide off of your back and onto the ground.

Now, climb aboard. Feel the soles of your feet pressing down. That’s better, right? You are not falling. You are secure, stable, safe.

Take another deep breath.

Alright, now here it is.

My favorite, emergency, holy-shit-I’m-freaking-out-recipe.

First aid for your soul.

Get-grounded-fast-food.

It works. It works so well you might want to just make it part of your regular meal rotation.

Start with music. I was listening to Imagine Dragons Radio on Spotify when I was cooking yesterday. 

Music is a primary ingredient in my kitchen. It is one of life’s great pleasures and can shift your mood all on its own. Turn it up.

Next, choose your roots. There is a massive variety out there. Check your local food market or farmer’s market. Try something new. For this recipe, any combination will do.

I chose:

• 3 carrots
• 1 parsnip
• 1 turnip
• 1 beet
• 1 sweet potato
• 1/4 yellow onion (not technically a root, but still)

Go ahead and scrub them down and peel the potato. Scrub with a vegetable brush whenever possible to preserve the nutritious skins. 

Then chop them into 1×1 inch square-ish shapes and toss them in extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, lot’s of freshly ground pepper and fresh rosemary or whatever fresh herb you might have handy. I wished I would have added whole garlic cloves. I will next time. You totally could.

Is there anything more beautiful than the color of beets? Swoon.

Then, put the whole lot of it on a baking pan and stash it in the oven at 375F for about 30 minutes. Pull it out and toss everything around again with some tongs. Slide it back in for another 30 minutes. While I waited, I got a whole bunch of emails answered, started this post, and made some Fresh Ginger + Turmeric Tea.

This tea is a favorite winter staple. Ginger is warming and great for digestion. Both ginger and turmeric roots are full of anti-oxidants and anti-inflammatory. Just slice, boil, steep and drink. I used about 2 inches ginger and 1 inch turmeric. You can reuse the roots about twice. Add honey if you like.

Finally, take the whole lovely mess out of the oven and toss in some baby kale. The hot vegetables make the kale all wilty. Eat it.

Easy right?

After eating my roots I felt about a thousand times more relaxed than I did earlier in the day. I was breathing easier and being really patient with my son. I’m not expressly saying that eating root vegetables will make you calmer or a better parent and person. But I kind of am.

I am definitely saying that roots are a satisfying and sustainable energy source. They are full of nutrition, they are affordable and they taste amazing. I am saying that food is medicine and root vegetables are a viable stress reduction tool. And we need to be grounded more than ever these days. So go. Feed your roots. Feed your friends. Let me know what happens.

I adore you.

XO,

Meg

P.S. For more good food magic, please do check out Feed Me Darling’s new coaching packages and recipe subscription service. There is hope, dear one, and there is help.

P. P. S.

If you want to know more about roots, I highly recommend the book Roots: The Definitive Compendium by Diane Morgan.

It is a delight to read, own, display and of course, with over 225 recipes, cook from.

P.P. S. S. (Last one, I swear!) A wee nod to the Nude Foodie, Grace Rybarczyck, who reminded me to eat my roots when I was having a freak out earlier this week. Yes, even Health Coaches need Health Coaches.

images by moi. the Love Whale print in the photo of roots in a bowl is by Megan Eckman.