Greetings beautiful human,

I was writing a wee Missive for all y’all about the Hero’s/Heroine’s Journey when I took a break and read a couple of texts from my younger son. They really caught my attention. 

With his permission – I am sharing them with you here, as well a very brief bit of back story –  both his and mine – because it’s simply what wanted to be shared.

As you may know – I have birthed and mothered three children – all of whom I fiercely adore. 

For one of my offspring, the youngest, life became particularly rocky and difficult in childhood. 

He went from a happy go lucky, curious, open-hearted, enthusiastic boy to a deeply troubled, angry and haunted one. 

His challenges were an enormous part of what propelled me into a long and extensive journey of discovery and investigation, well outside of mainstream culture and conventional medicine.  

I went in search of answers and assistance in an effort to support his return to health and wellness, as well as supporting his siblings and ultimately myself.

Suffice it to say – I have learned much.

Part of my son’s personal journey – and by association and through family history, mine –  has been one of substance abuse. 

He began taking psychiatric medications as a child of nine. A combination of medications they now know causes serotonin poisoning, often leading to psychotic and aggressive behaviors. 

This early pharmaceutical use, exacerbated already present brain issues. 

I believe this early pharmaceutical use – as do other mothers I know of with who have had similar experiences with their children – led to more serious drug use.  

This drug use culminated for my son in several years as a multiple IV drug addict and homelessness.

Before I continue – please know there is SO much to this story that I am not sharing in a few brief sentences. Both his experience, my own as well of that of his siblings. Perhaps another time.

I will say with certainty – that besides my own Lifestream itself – this human, this being that I birthed, has been my absolute greatest teacher. 

Full stop.

I am beyond grateful to report that shortly after his twenty-ninth birthday – literally only days from death – my son turned and chose Life rather than continuing his excruciatingly long slow-dance with Death.  

I am one of the incredibly lucky mothers. 

Not only is he alive – he is thriving with nearly eight years of sobriety, maturity and self reflection under his belt.

He has a strong community of support, many loving relationships and a positive and curious outlook. 

He and I have had many conversations over the last years about his journey. He firmly believes it could not have been any other way. 

He affirms that everything he’s gone through has made him who he is and he is learning to love and appreciate who that is more and more all the time. 

The fires of life can certainly forge us into shining vessels.

I know I am his mom…

And.

I also know – the world is enriched and blessed by this man’s thoughtful, human and loving presence. 

So when I opened the texts and watched the clips from Instagram that he shared with me as well as his comments about them – lifewater flowed as I took in the message, maturity and quality of the other men that he admires. That inspire him.

Not only was it a celebratory moment, I also thought you might find them affirming and useful as well.

Unfortunately Instagram is not cooperating!  

So I am sharing one clip with you that in my opinion is right on, counter to a paradigm that leaves us unfulfilled and also gives me hope for the future.

And – I could not have said it better. 

Life Isn’t About Happiness

The photo above is of the reel.

In my opinion it is very much worth listening to.

Link to Instagram

My son’s story is but one example of the Hero/Heroine’s journey. 

A story of facing monsters, hardships and inner battles.

A story of getting lost in fields of forgetting.

Of finding one’s inner treasure and ultimately coming home again to impart the wisdom and experience gained with others through example, compassion and words. 

An epic journey still in process.

As is your own life story… an epic journey still in process. 

Walking the road together – with love and appreciation…

And finally – Let’s End with a small moment of beauty, wonder and possibility.

One of the things that unfailingly restores my Spirit, engenders hope, reaffirms my love of Life and connects me to something vast and precious is wandering the world and noticing, really paying attention to what is all around me.

Small details.  Beautiful bits.  Smiles.  The sky.  Eyes.  Blossoms.  Bare branches.  Leaf mold. Water droplets. 

It has become a deeply grounding and uplifting practice for me. 

I believe that the Universe, Nature, Life herself is always having a conversation with every one of us

 For me – noticing is like listening deeply – heightens that communion and strengthens intimacy.

Small Seed Pod – along the way 

The post My Life’s Greatest Teacher appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello there fabulous human!

I have been working on a rather large project the last several days with LOTS of words and BIG ideas. I am delighted to say it is complete for now.

However, I have to admit this has left me more than a bit word weary.

So rather than attempt to poorly reinvent the wheel this morning and because I have found myself saying the words in this post spontaneously to myself over and over again this past week… 

I decided to pull out a favorite from some years ago, spruce her up a tad and send her along to you.

Perhaps it will be a simple way to support you to self-center, and experience greater well-being.

Without further ado…

Would you be willing to play with me for a bit?
 
Great!

OK. Stop for a moment, close your eyes if you will and take in a nice full, easy breath. 

Now, say this to yourself three times. 

Preferably out loud.

Remember, voice = frequency/ light/ sound/ vibration.

Speaking aloud is exponentially more powerful than thinking something. 

If you want to work with your own energy system, request guidance from your guides, affirm your intent for something – Say it out loud.

Sound has the power to change the molecular structure of things.

Really. I dare you.

Say it – out loud.
 
No matter what you think. Feel. Believe.

Just say these three sentences to yourself – out loud. 
 
“I love my Life. I love my body. I love myself.”
 
That’s right….
 
“I love my Life. I love my body. I love myself.”
 
“I love my Life. I love my body. I love myself.”

Marvelous! 

Now how does that feel? 

What did you notice?

If it brought up emotion – sad, mad, happy, glad or something else – hallelujah! 

That is stupendous!  Let it move!!! 

Always better out than in.

Give a little full body shake to help it fly. 

Make some noise. Give it voice!

If your mind responded with disdain, cynicism, ridicule. Awesome!

Pay attention! 

That voice in your head, that critical one? It is not your soul, your spirit, your beautiful Self speaking. 

Anything that is anti-Life. Anti-enthusiasm. Anti-health, anti-self love or anti-well being – see where I’m going with this?

That voice, as my friend Mary would say  – tells “lies from the pit of hell.”

That voice is not a reflection of who you truly are.

It is not Divine. It is not Love. Actually, its only job is to keep you small through shame and doubt.
 
Take that in – Its only job is to keep you small through shame and doubt.

If your mind begins a show and tell of all the things you don’t love about your life. Your body. Yourself.

Remember – that lying hell-pit voice

Ahhh. Good to notice.

Take a step back and view it like you’re watching a movie about someone else. 

This is the time to first and foremost  – Love yourself even more. 

Bring in Compassion and Kindness toward your miraculous self. 
 
Then, perhaps – take several slow deep centering low belly breaths. 
 
Drop out of the mind and into your body. 
 
Place your hand on your heart and say it again slowly. 
 
“I love my Life. I love my body. I love myself.”
 
Maybe you’ll feel your cells dance. Perk up. Sing. 

Let go. Relax. 
 
And, maybe not.

If you’ve been around awhile you know – I am definitely not a “love and light” cures all things kind of person. 

I do not believe we can simply magic things away with our words or our thoughts.

I am more of an allow yourself to tell the truth! Give yourself permission to feel what you feel – just don’t get lost in the mental story!

(Want clarity about how to NOT get lost in the story and just allow those emotions to move through? This little video will walk you through.)

I am more of a – Iife and transformation are messy, pain is inevitable, emotions of all kinds are welcome and joy can be found anywhere – kind of human. 

However. I also know that what we tell ourselves MATTERS!
 
You are an incredibly powerful creator. 

Not in the I want a red Lamborghini way – in the what I tell myself about myself, has a profound affect on how I view myself, the world and my life way.

Remember Emoto and Veda Austin  –   #wearewater! #waterhasconsciousness

I recently had a long conversation with a beautiful and wise human who happens to be a fifty year Dowser – as in Water Witcher.
 
I was quite struck by the simplicity of how he works. This person is a deep thinker. Has had extraordinary experiences. And. He keeps things very simple.
 
I realized that perhaps everything does not have to be so complicated. I do have a tendency to make things very ‘extra’.
 
His parting words to me were to keep saying…
I love my body. I love my life. 
I instantly added, I love myself. 
 
So I have been saying that to myself as a new mantra. Maybe you’d like to make it yours too?
 
In doing this I have spontaneously and genuinely thanked my mother for birthing me. For imperfectly mothering me. For being exactly who she was.
 
I have spontaneously and genuinely started thanking the parts of my body that have been under strain and distress – without any hint of wanting to change them. 

Sounds suspiciously like unconditionality! 

But – enough about me. 

This does not need to be complicated. It’s simple. 
 
I love my life. I love my body. I love myself. 
 
At some level there is truth in this. For every single one of us. 
 
I know it’s simplistic to believe that gratitude opens the door to everything we want. 
 
And. It’s true. It does. I have experienced it over and over and over again. 
 
Especially when I was feeling ANYTHING but grateful for the circumstances of my life. 
 
Being kind and loving toward ourselves matters. 
 
We all know this. 

We just forget. 

And sometimes it’s not easy. 

Sometimes it takes enormous courage to do the kind and loving thing for ourselves. 

Sometimes it means letting go of the comfort of the known and allowing for the possibility that things may come apart in order to make way for something new. 

Something we have been calling in. Something we have been longing for.
 
Simple does not always equal easy. 
 
Simple however CAN be the purifying factor that changes everything. 
 
Why not give it a whirl?

Because who truly DOESN’T want more enthusiasm, love, joy, well-being and dancing cells in their life? 

And finally – Let’s End with a moment of beauty and well-being.

Your back against a welcoming sunwarmed stone. The Sun is comfortingly warm, a gentle breezes caresses your skin as you gaze out across the vast expanse of the South Pacific Ocean 

Port Jackson
Aotearoa – New Zealand 

The post Three Sentences That Can Change Everything appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello there lovely and amazing human,

Things, they are dynamically a-changing. 

Something is occurring beyond the natural movement of one Season flowing into another. 

I find this movement is perceptible beneath the chaos that is swirling about in the outer world. 

You may be noticing this as well. 

The vast quiet quickening that is taking place below the surface of everyday awareness. 

This has been going on for some time, yet the palpability of it has become quite heightened in the last week or so.

Change quite naturally, can create more than a bit of anxiousness in us humans – especially when the Great Unknown is a large part of the equation. 

The truth is – nothing is static. 

There is at the foundation of all things an underlying, ever-present, unmoving, vast Silence. 

Harmony. 

Intelligence. 

Love 

These/this holds us – humanity, all matter and non-matter firmly – whether we have a recently remembered experience of this or not. 

It simply is.

And then there is movement. 

Life living life. 

Divinity riotously expressing itself in every imaginable form here on planet Earth and beyond – in the planets, the stars, the galaxies that surround us in the vastness of the Cosmos.

And somewhere in the middle – is where this perceptible shift that is occurring may be found.

There are many names people have given this evolutionary shifting. Many explanations.

To me, quite simply it is the quickening of Rebirth. 

The falling away of one level of consciousness on planet Earth and the arising of another more aligned and coherent one. 

It is the true expression of inner Freedom, Love and Divinity awakening with-in humans across this vast planet.

It is undefined by geography, ethnicity, culture, politics, country or any other perceived tribal divisions humans have been led to believe are so. 

Divisions long used to create discord and distraction – to perpetuate the inherently false notions of ’Us and Them.’

This underlying shift the planet is firmly in the midst of transcends all of this.

It is seemingly turning everything we’ve collectively taken for granted on its head and inside out. 

This movement is from the bottom upward, rather than from the top down, so to speak.

From the inside out. Rather than from the outside in. 

It is quietly sweeping through humanity, loosening the bonds of Patriarchy and Empire. 

The balancing energies, the antidotes to the far swing of the pendulum are gaining strength. 

This movement is Universal. 

It is underneath the quite burgeoning recognition that we are indeed ONE. 

That I Am the I Am that I Am. 

That I am you and you are me.

The gentle yet inevitable falling away of any notion of separate-ness. 

An understanding that all beings are vital, precious, have innate value. 

That each and every one of us is a priceless spark of Divinity expressing its own unique and intrinsic aspect of the Totality. Of the Whole. 

A deep and holy Re-membering is indeed underway.

And as is the case when transformation is underfoot the middle is very ugly. Rocky. Messy.

Chaos is inherent within the middle.

Chaos is also the place where the most potent array of possibilities are present. 

True change and transformation cannot occur without the chaotic middle.

The place where everything just plain comes undone.

Where the shit flies and some folks seemingly go mad. 

Remember the humble caterpillar’s journey – voraciously eating and growing until it tucks itself neatly and confidently into the chrysalis it has built.  

Then it quite epically lets go.

Over time the caterpillar will completely deconstruct, dissolving itself into an unrecognizable  goop of sorts – before it ultimately reforms and becomes a butterfly with wings that can fly and swoop.  

Somewhere within the caterpillar’s inherent makeup is this powerful, primal, inevitable drive to evolve. 

We humans also have a powerful unconscious drive to evolve, to shape shift, to become a more beautifully inner coherent version of Self that recognizes the Holy Wholeness we already in fact are.

Right now – we are all smack dab in the middle of this transformation. 

Some humans on the planet have more awareness about what is taking place than others. 

Some have been preparing for this time for longer than they can remember.

Everyone is along for the ride. 

When I look with a wide gaze – I see Patriarchy in its death-throws, in the very midst of its own Extinction Event.  

The inherently false mechanisms and premises that it has overlaid upon humanity for dominion and control and held in place for thousands of years – is coming to the end of its time. 

The infrastructure is crumbling. The blinders are off. We humans are waking up. 

This is deeply uncomfortable. 

It is meant to be.

Like thunder and lightening waking us from slumber as it brings Spring rain. It gets our attention.

Chaos is simply part and parcel of this movement from one way of being to another. 

I am also aware that the insanity, the chaos, the ignorance – and all of its accompanying poisons we are witnessing in the outer world are a powerful catalyst for this internal awakening in the hearts and minds of humans all over the planet. 

Catalyzing an ever deeper and wider arising of compassion, kindness, community and true humanity that gaining strength in the hearts of humans all over the planet. 

The Unity. 

The recognition that we all are in this together.

Most likely none of us would consciously choose the discomfort, horror and seeming insanity of this time. 

And. 

I also firmly believe that on some level we have all chosen this time and place to be human beings.  To contribute our unique spark of Divinity to this momentous unfolding. 

My experiences and perceptions have shown me we are much more than just this physical body. 

Much more magnificent than what our five everyday senses can perceive.

This IS the shift of ages. We are smack dab in the midst of it.

Everything I am sharing is from the deepest knowing within me. From my own experiences over this lifetime. 

This is what continues to arise from the Silence within.

I have a visceral, full body sense of where we are going. 

The road between here and there, the specifics are still a mystery. There are forks in the road as yet un-manifested.

Am I right? 

Who knows. 

This is what I have ‘seen’ for more decades than I sometimes want to admit to. 

Trusting this inner knowing. 

Coming back to this internally experienced inner perception over and over again is useful for me. 

It is good for my mental and spiritual well-being.

It steadies me. 

And.

I have found that when I choose to trust myself, when I slow down to listen and my actions arise from this deeper inner knowing – rather than from outside influences, from ‘shoulds, ’aught to’s, and the plethora of outworn consensus realities – that they not only flow, I find they are in service in some small way to this burgeoning change, this incredible transformative process we are all participating in. 

How will we daily choose to authentically traverse this changing inner and outer landscape?

What will we deliberately decide to consume? To focus on? To tell ourselves about the journey?

What will we consciously choose to nourish within our own precious inner being? 

Our families? Our circles of communion? With strangers as we move through the world?

How will we continue to call ourselves back to our own re-membering? 

What are the small daily actions we can take that will support us to traverse this transformative time?

I leave you with these questions with immense love and appreciation for your presence and contribution along the way.

After all – we are ALL in this together.

Last week I created an offering for you. If you missed it or would like to listen again 
– I offer you

The Anniversary Song 4/4/26 – 11:11AM.

My sense is it gentle support to move through the doorway inot the Silence within.

Please feel free to share it with others if you are led.

And may the Spirit of ReBirth and Renewal infuse you and gently dance with you today and all days…

… Thoroughly enlivening all aspects of your being in such a way that it is specifically aligned to your own most authentic and auspicious – perhaps as yet unknown – path forward.

The post A Deep and Holy Re-membering is Underway appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello beautiful one,

Opening to what wanted to be shared this week, my mind bounced around to many things – not settling on any one.

As I sat outside, sipping tea I allowed myself to drop fully into the moment.

Becoming quite present – the words fell away and a deep, nourishing Silence enfolded me. 

A perceivable shift arrived with the Breeze. 

The intense new-growth Spring green surrounding me filled my being with well-being.** 

Birdsong filled the air.

I wished in that moment that I could share the utter perfection of my inner experience with you.

The urge to sound came over me and as I sang –  the desire to sing for you arose as well.

Before I could allow the voice of doubt to slow me down I went upstairs grabbed my microphone and the ***Emerald Crystal Bowl, cleared a space in the back porch and once again settled deeply within myself.

I sang. 

The birds sang. 

Even my friend the chameleon – who seems to chime in only as a confirmatory signal – joined in with her blessing toward the end.

A beautiful Swallowtail butterfly flew by swooping and dancing as I finished.

Communion happened.

Transmission happened.

For you. For me. For Life herself. 

I chose to trust the movement of Life, the inspiration arising within in, even as the mind piped in and said  – you can always delete it.

And then something quite startling – at least to me – took place.

I went inside to listen to the completed recording.

And as I did my heart opened.

Life water flowed. 

I was quite touched by what I received. 

From myself. From the birds and other beings. From Silence. From Life. 

Sometimes – often – words get in the way of what wants to be shared.

Expressed.

Opened to.

Lived.

Today – as it happens – is the sixth Anniversary of what I have come to call ‘The Event.’ 

‘The Event’ was a three day experience of death, rebirth and release that became a decided demarcation line and doorway into something altogether different from what had been previously in this life.

As I once spontaneously said to another human –
“Everything that came before is absolutely irrelevant to what is now.” 

This sixth Anniversary feels as though it is holding open yet another doorway – as the spiral of transformation and evolution opens to an even deeper, more expansive circling round.

So when I looked at the label GarageBand gave the song – I smiled. 
 Today’s date and the time of completion –  4/4/26 – 11:11AM.

I offer you…

The Anniversary Song 4/4/26 – 11:11AM.

My sense is it too is a doorway.

Please feel free to share it with others if you are led.

And may the Spirit of ReBirth and Renewal infuse you and gently dance with you today…

… Thoroughly enlivening all aspects of your being in such a way that it is specifically aligned to your own most authentic and auspicious – perhaps as yet unknown – path forward.  

PS + Notes:

**No wonder Spring is sooo life enhancing! The science of Biogeometry has discovered that the color green in Nature – what they call ‘natural green’ – holds the frequency of the powerful Universal Healing Quality they call BG3 – also measurable at every power spot on the planet.  

So looking at the beautiful abundant green everywhere is deeply healing and restorative on ALL levels of being in ways we are aware of and ways we are not.

***The Emerald Gemstone Crystal Bowl is an extraordinary and dear being. 

Her voice, a clear tone tuned to F# resonates with the thymus and High Heart.
Emerald is said to be the most powerful of the gems associated with the Heart.
Coincidentally – She awakens the qualities of  Love, Compassion, Spring and Renewal. 

The post A gift of Renewal for you… appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello there lovely human,

I know first hand the power of intention. The power of desire.

AND the efficacy of saying those desires and intentions out loud. 

I could go into all the reasons why this is so powerful  – let’s just suffice it to say – it creates greater alignment with our conscious and unconscious aspects as well as the Universe on a multitude of levels. 

In light of that, as March quickly gives way to April – I have a tiny gift for you. I made it several years ago.

When I came across it brought joy and a smile to my face. May something in this inspire you or brighten your day as well.

It is a wee bit of interactive Magic for you to play with!

Highly useful for changing ones perspective and opening the aperture of possibilities in a more playful way. 

Stellar for lightening up and loosening those internal places that feel tight or stuck.

Especially potent for when we feel we are in some way – not at choice in our own lives. 

Doing something new and different, taking an unfamiliar action rather than ruminating or continuing on the well worn path –  has a way of doing all of the above. 

And right now is a wonderful time to change things up and do just that. 

What is this – photo above – you ask?

It’s modeled off of one of those old-school flyers you might find on a community bulletin board – perhaps for a handy-person, a cat sitter or a bodyworker. 

You know – the kind with little dangly bits on one side – also known as tabs. Each tab would have a phone number on it so you can just grab one and take it with you. 

Rather than phone numbers – this handmade and imperfect flyer has qualities. Qualities that enliven and nourish the inner Spirit of we humans.  

Universal Qualities we all want more of in our lives –  joy, laughter, kindness, enthusiasm, etc. 

You can downlaod and print this one out – or have more fun, play with some art supplies and make your own – which I highly recommend. 
If you cannot read my often inscrutable handwriting – here is a printed list of the qualities. 

After you’ve printed the flyer out – gently cut between the words to seperate them so that they are easy to pull off.

Use some tape to hang the whole page on one edge so the dangly bits are free. 

Place it somewhere where it will catch your attention – your fridge, a kitchen cabinet, next to your bed, a mirror in your bathroom, by the front door. Anywhere you will see it. 

Perhaps choose to make a wee ritual of “choosing” out of interacting with it.

In the morning – you might grab a slip that calls to you. Your prayer and/or intention for the day.

Then – out loud say something like – 

“I’m calling in the song of Laughter today.”

“I would love clear Direction to guide me as I move through my day today.” 

“I am inviting Inspiration to dance with me today.”

Or the simplest and most potent of all –

“I choose Harmony today.”

After you’ve torn off your choice for the day – place that little slip somewhere you’ll see it as you move through the day

Maybe tuck it into your bra next to your heart.

Stick it in your pocket or wallet. 

Place it on your desk or laptop.

Lightly secure it to your to daytimer or ‘to do’ list.

Then at the end of the day – AFTER you’ve carried it around with you. Perhaps place it in a small receptacle to gather the used slips in and keep it next to your bed.

As you hold that tiny little paper – take a moment to think back on your experience. 

Notice and acknowledge how and when that Universal Quality showed up for you as you moved through the day.

I promised myself I’d keep this short – so I‘m going to restrain myself and not go to go into ALL the ways and whys of how this works. 

Suffice it to say there are MANY.

The Universe always responds when we take a step, an action – no matter how small – toward what we desire. Our heartfelt choices. Those qualities we want to experience more of. 

Our “job” then is to pay attention and notice what we notice. 

I encourage – be a scientist in your own life.  See what happens.

Have fun with it!

Let me know how you make this your own and what you discover. 

PS. Pro Tip – because we humans forget this – and it works!

If you want more of something give it to yourself rather than waiting for the world or other folks to give it to you!

Feel unacknowledged? Acknowledge yourself more.

Want to experience more Love in the world? Love yourself even more unconditionally.

Desiring kindness? 

You get the idea.

The post A wee bit of interactive Magic for you… appeared first on Melani Marx.

Happy Equinox lovely human!

As you may know – today marks the equal balance point of daylight and darkness that we experince here on planet Earth. 

If you are in the Southern Hemisphere this is the transition point between Summer and Autumn.

Where I live in the Northern Hemisphere – it is the balance point between Winter and Spring. 

A demarcation line of sorts. One of the four major ones that humans use to gauge the seasons and creates the Gregorian calendar.

One thing for certain the Equinox always heralds change. 

Over the last several weeks I have been perceiving a shift planetarily I do not ever remember experiencing before.

I am being shown that this ‘change’ has been coming for a long time. Now it is here.  

The words that arrive are – an added ‘harmonic.’ 

I do not intellectually know exactly what that means. Many ‘things’ are untranslatable into spoken word. They can merely be pointed toward.

Under the surface however I am noticing…

A deep shift whispering quietly – urging each of us to step forward in some way. 

To choose. 

To begin.

To align action to vision. 

To create change. 

I also perceive that this does not have to be what our human minds would call ‘BIG’ change. 

This movement is a bit like the ‘shift of wind’ that occurs the moment the natural world heralds the turning of a season.

Imagine the compass setting of the ship that is you – turning to a new heading that is simply a degree or two different than the setting it has been on – perhaps for a very long time. 

This change is first an internal one. A shift in viewpoint. In stance

Perhaps even the slight softening of something long held as im-possible morphs into “I’m willing to entertain the possibility that it could be possible.”

A little trickle.

I am observing that many have been experiencing inner shifts aligned to this new ‘frequency’ or ‘harmonic’ of late.

A new inner and lighter inner alignment is appearing.

Earlier this week an email landed in my inbox from a truly beautiful human – Lori Wilson. She is also a wonderful teacher and ally. Her transmissions are always very clear – and there are very few out there I would say that about at this point in time on planet Earth. 

Lori is the “real deal.”

Lori’s main guide is Grandmother, her Shoshone Grandmother from a previous life, hundreds of years ago. Lori does and has for many years – a yearly, monthly and daily transmission from Grandmother tuning into the energies of the day, month or year. 

Her messages are calm, grounding, gently oriented in Love and possibility.  

They consistently turn one toward one’s own inner abundant capacity, wisdom, knowing and remembering. 

The message that came in the email I took as a confirmation of what I have been sensing and observing – it is very much worth listening to. 

Below I am. forwarding the email I received from Lori to you. She said please share with your loved ones… and that is you, my compadre on this Earth walk. 

I hope you enjoy this reassuring and gentle nudge from Lori and Grandmother. If you feel called to listen – it is for you.

“Hi Everyone

Once or twice a year my Spirit Guide ~ Grandmother channels a Mid-Month Podcast (30 mins.) that simply must be shared beyond our community. This is one of them. Listen to the inspiring and pointed Monthly Podcast reminding us that “Change does not arrive – it is chosen.” A refreshing and timely nudge to instigate the changes you want, rather than hanging out in the ‘lull’ waiting for change to arrive.

March 15. 2026 Mid.Month Podcast. Change Does Not Arrive. It is Planned.mp3

Please share this gifted 30-minute Podcast with those you love. If you want to enjoy Grandmother’s Mid-Month Podcasts on a regular basis, they are part of the INTUITION: Essential-Pak here at Inner Access 101. 

Hugs and cheers to choosing change ~ from Lori

Lori Wilson
lori@inneraccess101.com
https://inner-access-101.thinkific.com“

The post This ‘change’ has been coming for a long time. Now it is here. appeared first on Melani Marx.

Greetings glorious human!

I have a little known secret to share with you.

Once upon a time…

Anytime anyone said something along the likes of – 

Let go and let God!

Open and allow.

Let your Higher Self be in charge. 

And the real kicker – Align your will to Divine Will.

I seriously wanted to turn and slap them.

You see – even though for as long as I could remember I’d had a strong felt sense of the Divine. I mean – I prayed. I’d had ‘mystical’ experiences.

I knew there was definitely – Something. 

But the idea of actually surrendering my life to that Something was an entirely different kettle of fish.

It felt terrifying. Cringy. And frankly a bit of a copout. 

After all weren’t we supposed to do not need anyone? Do it all ourselves? Be superwomen?

Weren’t we supposed to keep our emotions hidden? Make unreasonably long to-do lists, say positive affirmations and then by the sheer force of our own will make it all just happen?

When I was somewhere in my later twenties the concept of ‘surrender’ began to come into my awareness as my own seeking became a stronger, more imperative and driving force in my life.

I have no idea where it came from, but around this time whenever the idea of surrendering to the Something Bigger came to mind an image was instantly conjured. 

Me as an old, wrinkled and sun browned Indian holy man – barefoot and naked but for a flimsy and dirty white loin cloth, no possessions, wandering the chaotic streets of India with a vacant and inward stare – completely untethered to this plane of reality. 

No home. No possessions.

Alone.

Adrift.

A Sadhu*.

This is what I thought surrendering to the Divine meant – giving up everything and wandering the streets homeless.

Needless to say, for this – ‘I just want to be normal’ – human, working away at my long coveted job in the fashion industry, married to the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, mother of two, with another on the way – a deep and primal fear was intensely and viscerally evoked every time that image landed. 

It caused a desire within me to curl up into a tiny ball and get very, very small. 

No way. 

No how.**

I recently came across a line in a book  I was flipping through that speaks perfectly to that time in my life –  

“I had not yet surrendered my will to my own Remembering.” 

~ Flo Magdalena

So it was with alarm that at some point during my twenty-eighth year I began to hear the words “The Divine plan for my life is manifesting now” whisper through my inner awareness. 

An unsettling mixture of curiosity, resistance and trepidation was each time stirred within me.

A visceral sense of my stance at the time instantly comes to mind.

My left arm held straight out from my shoulder, palm facing away as if keeping something at bay, my head turned to the right, looking in the opposite direction. 

In effect saying, “Nope. No way. Not listening.”

I instinctively knew with every fiber of my being that the minute I let that statement in, made those words mine, let them have their way with me – the proverbial ‘shit’ would truly hit the fan.

Big time. 

I didn’t know exactly what would change. 

I wasn’t even all that sure of what was ‘wrong’ with my life. Truth be told, I was fairly comfortable with the dysfunction of it all. 

I thought it was all normal – simply what life was like. 

There was however the knowing that it all would be upended if I said yes to this affirmation.

After sitting with this for quite awhile, muling it over, turning it this way and that –  it was with a certain amount of dread – I metaphorically turned, faced the Universe/Creator/Mother/Father God, internally said “ok!” and wrote in my journal –

“The Divine Plan for my life is manifesting now.”

I quite deliberately acquiesced.

Immediately these words began to repeat over and over again in my mind like a mantra.

How could I possibly know that by doing this I was stepping right into the Stream that would carry me inexorably closer to the fulfillment of my deepest heartfelt prayers and longings, holding me there for the rest of my life?

When I made that initial agreement – affirming the Divine plan for my life was manifesting now –  sure enough my entire carefully constructed life began to unravel and come apart.

And – thank All That Is – it did.

Veils of illusion obscuring what was actually so in my life began to fall away – albeit painfully. 

A clearer and cleaner understanding of what I truly wanted began to arrive. 

Choices were made. Tears were cried. 

In the middle of all this painful unraveling, I came across a cream colored greeting card with a full moon on it in a store.  Underneath the moon, written in calligraphy was a line  by Mizuta Masahide – 

“My barn having burned to the ground, I can now see the moon.”

I bought this gem of a card and carried it tucked into my day-timer as a powerful talisman and reminder for at least the next two years – taking it out often to allow the truth of this statement to wash over and steady me as my seemingly well assembled life went up in flames. 

During this time of great change much rapidly occurred. 

The father of my children left while I was pregnant with my youngest.

In the space of two weeks, I gave birth, made our house presentable to rent out and moved to what appeared to be my dream home. 

The children’s father and I reconciled in love around the time of the birth. He moved back in with us. 

Four months later as I was riding up the elevator on my way to give a presentation to several hundred employees the wise guiding internal ‘voice’ inside my head said “today is the day.” 

I once again acted.

I quit my very stable corporate and frankly soul sucking job of more than a decade to, at the time I thought, go back to school. 

The father of my three very young children left for good less than a week later – right after he went out, used and refused to regain his sobriety.

The veils kept dropping.

Tough, though ever more internally aligned choices kept being presented and made turning me toward something new and unknown.

The scaffolding for a truer more Spirit-aligned life was being created. 

Adjustments, healing and more change kept marching through the door.

In the next six months I experienced unexpected life threatening health issues, my youngest son was hospitalized twice and a whole lot more.

Looking back it is also very apparent that I was being guided and supported by something far greater and wiser than my own capacity to manage things. 

A true doozy of a first Saturn return.***

Why am I sharing all this with you in this now moment?

Recently, I have once again been hearing those words whispering quietly in my ear.

“The Divine plan for my life is manifesting now.”

Hmmmmm…

Change at the best of times is unsettling. BIG change more deeply so.

Mr Georgia and I currently have another big geographical move out in front of us this year that carries with it soooo many unknowns. I am also deeply immersed in creating the scaffolding and foundation for several major projects around my joyful service in the world. 

A lot is on my plate and I am no longer thirty – when I was a master at using the force of my will to get eight hours worth of work done in two hours. 

I choose to move at a much human pace these days. 

All of this has felt alarmingly overwhelming at times this past Winter as much was also moving and shifting internally, under the surface of my clear awareness preparing me for this next iteration. 

Life change brings into stark relief the often unrecognized truth that each and every day we are stepping out into the unknown. 

It doesn’t matter how it happens or how many times we do this – let go of one life, one familiar and rather comfortable way of being in its known itchiness while we reach toward another – it is always like the very first time in many ways. 

This is in essence what life becomes – when one has stepped onto the Path and said “yes” to more. 

More of yourself. More authenticity. More Love. 

More Passion. More Joy and Enthusiasm. 

More clear Connection to the wisdom already contained within your Essence. 

All in the midst of chaos and enormous change – code words for transformation – in the outer. 

When I say to myself “The Divine plan for my life is manifesting now.”

My ENTIRE being relaxes. 

Curious? Try it yourself and notice what happens for you.
Do not take my word for any of this… 

A big sigh escapes me – heralding a shift – as my nervous system lets go and relaxes. 

My shoulders drop. 

I fully land in my body. 

My vision becomes clearer.

Things simply ‘line up’ internally. 

I experience greater inner coherence.

The path in front of me opens… 

And sooner rather than later an upwelling to move in some way arises and I find myself simply doing ‘the next thing.’

I also find myself moving forward naturally, at a more human pace.

This all encourages Life, Divinity, Essence to flow in and through me with more ease. 

This is me taking a step toward the above in cooperation and partnership

This plugs me right into the stream that is inexorably taking each of us toward the fulfillment of our deepest prayers and aspirations – our heart’s greatest longings.

The main difference is the absence of resistance

We are not longer going kicking and screaming. 

Miracles, intuitive messages and synchronicities are occurring all around us. 

All the time. 

When I affirm for myself that the Divine plan for my life is manifesting now, I am not only more open to receive intuitive guidance, experience synchronicities and miracles – I am also more able to recognize and acknowledge them more easily – creating for myself a felt sense of being in the Flow. Even, especially when things do not go according to plan.

Whether I call it my Higher Self, God, Divine Intelligence or some other name – when I consciously connect to the Ineffable I always  come back into alignment with a greater Truth.

I then remember it is not all up to just me.

I am absolutely not in charge of keeping the planet spinning, figuring out how to manage every detail in front of me or any of the other myriad of things I have at various times assumed I was solely responsible for. 

This creates much greater ease in my entire being. 

When I feel greater ease I also feel a greater sense of connection.

Connection to all my fellow humans, to Love, to the natural world in its infinite variety and abundance.

Connection to the unseen supporting all of this vast magnificence and most importantly connection to myself and the Divine Essence that flows in and through me – that is me. That is also you and is literally everything seen and unseen.

Coming back to this. Remembering this over and over – facilitates the turning of my attention toward the greater collective Re-membering that is taking place across the planet. 

Fully surrendered and in service to my own. 

~ ~ ~ 
 

Notes

*Sadhu – An ascetic holy man.

**Years later I confessed my fear of ending up a Sadhu to my mentor at the time – who was born and raised in India. 

She just laughed. Hard. 

Melani, she said – “You’ve already done that! That is not for you this life.”  Whew!!! What a relief!

** Saturn Return – 

Wikipedia

A Saturn return is an astrological event that occurs when the planet Saturn returns to the same position in the zodiac as it was at the time of a person’s birth, typically happening around ages 27 to 30, and again in the late 50s and late 80s. This period is often associated with significant life changes, personal growth, and the transition into adulthood.
 

~ ~ ~ 
 

PS – Curious about what it would be like to work together? Want to connect “in person’? Pop me an email and let’s have virtual ‘tea’. No pressure, simply a conversation. A meeting between two humans somewhere in the process of authentic re-membering more of who they are. 

And finally – Let’s End with a moment of exhilarating and glorious Flow.

Allow yourself to feel the power, beauty and shear magnificence of life living Life. 

Rogue River Gorge – not far from Crater lake in Southern Oregon – the rush and abundance of late Spring snow-melt. 

The post My Barn Having Burned To The Ground appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello adventurous human,

I hope you are finding joy in everyday things and satisfaction in the day to day during this fairly tumultuous passage we are currently experiencing here on planet Earth.

I can’t escape thinking about the dynamics of this particular eclipse season and how it has been working with the collective psyche. 

Eclipses – the alignment of the Sun and Moon in the sky in such a way that one obscures the other – have been viewed since ancient times as heralding a shift in vision. What has previously been hidden becomes exposed. 

Among other things – underlying truths surface and we are forced in some way to meet these revelations – the Shadow aspects beneath – for our own evolutionary transformation. 

Eclipses are catalytic.

Something changes irrevocably and we stay fixed in denial to our own detriment. 

This is true for the collective as well as igniting our own inner, quite personal unfoldment and transformation. 

Eclipses usually come in pairs, though sometimes there are three. 

Eclipse Season begins about two weeks before the first eclipse and ends about two week after the second or last eclipse.

The most potent time of the cycle or season is between the eclipses. 

A full lunar eclipse occurred on February 17th on the New Moon heralding the beginning of the Lunar New Year of the Fire Horse. 

A full solar eclipse took place on March 3rd. 

We are still in that eclipse season window. 

This particular eclipse cycle has been a very potent one.

When we look outward – this is apparent in daily news headlines.

Looking toward the inward landscape I have been noticing the potency as well.

In my awareness, the overarching theme of the questions that are quietly coming up seem to be some variation of this: 

What has been or is the true underlying intention(s) and internal stance(s) one is holding?

How aligned to full Divine, creative expression of Self and authentic incarnational purpose are they?

The answers being revealed have been illuminating.

The surfacing of deeper level ‘truths’ and the revelation of the operating systems, programs and beliefs that have actually been running the show along with a deeper understanding of how they color the result has been revelatory indeed. 

This eclipse portal is assisting us in illuminating our Shadow aspects, bringing submerged insecurities, hidden fears and unprocessed emotions into the light of day so that with loving compassion we may integrate them. 

This then opens the doorway to true healing, greater self acceptance and authentic transformation. 

I have been observing subtle, yet very powerful shifts taking place in those I am in conversation with, the clients I work with, the groups I facilitate and within my own psyche. 

I have an image of dominoes falling in succession – spreading out from an epicenter that has recently become more steadfast and true – in all directions. 

My sense is it will take some time for the dominoes to come to rest.

Potent indeed.

In my own life – the area that has received the most illumination and also been the cutting edge of challenge for me has been in updating my own self-perception as I move through different aspects of my life.

If you’ve been around for a while – it’s no secret that I have traversed much that has been challenging in this lifetime.

The foundation we arise from – our familial soup – inevitably leaves an imprint. It shapes our sense of belonging and how we view not only our roll and place in the world.  It also shapes how we view the world and creates the very powerful underlying intent or belief about – well – everything. 

The vast majority of this is quite unconscious, housed quietly in the psychic Shadowland operating under the surface – much like the operating system of the MacBook I am writing this Missive on. 

Taken for granted. Simply so. Shadow.

Once we have an intention to authentically ‘awaken’ and step onto the Path – we begin to mature, individuate and awaken to the discord caused by the plethora of unseen programs we came in with – a sorting process of sorts is activated. 

Aligned to our underlying intention to ‘self awaken’ we participate in various forms of inner work. We begin to accept aspects of self we have pushed away with compassion and understanding – broadening and widening our understanding of our inner ecology. 

We learn new ways of showing up, of being – truly an ever evolving process – accessing deeper and deeper truths. 

Understanding and potential already residing within us shepherds us down the Path, bringing us more and more opportunities for integration and self-individuation. 

This current eclipse portal has brought into stark relief the awareness that I have in ways continued to view the world and perceive myself through the long habituated lens of where I have come from – rather than the reality of the landscape I am currently and have been traversing for some time.

Inner stance and underlying intention. 

It has come to my slightly chagrined and full attention that a habitual stance of ‘playing small’ while minimizing my contribution to those around me and to the Whole – partly as survival strategy, partly due to Empiric/Patriarchal overlay – has continued in a variety of ways sneakily running the show just under the surface of my full awareness. Holy heck.

This has translated to internally discounting myself, my abilities, all that I have worked toward and accomplished along my personal transformation journey along with an absence of inner celebration of my own innate brilliance.

In other words –  discounting and minimizing my own hard earned mastery rather than simply standing in it. Unconsciously shrinking to fit into some nebulous idea of expected roll rather than filling the space that only I can fill within in the totality, the Whole.

Allowing the momentary dip in the road, the difficulty, the challenge to define me rather than the totality of lived experience. The narrow view rather than the wide gaze. 

It is not as though I have been unfamiliar with this pattern, this stance, this way of ‘playing safe’ and all the multi-faceted ways it manifests. This has been in my awareness for a very long time, picking it up and turning it one way or another. 

It has also been in many ways as slippery as a greased pole. 

Being a human on planet Earth is activating enough for anyone. 

Living in metro Atlanta these last two years alongside almost Seven million other activated humans has been both an enormous challenge and a wonderful, uncomfortable opportunity of contrast allowing me to bring into greater consciousness the cellular, default operating systems that have been running my entire life. 

Thankfully and more than a bit disconcertingly the curtain was recently ripped away and it has been made very clear to me that in no uncertain terms this operating system was outdated and ultimately failing me. 

Plain and simple I needed to stop.  

Not only is it disingenuous it has also literally become dangerous to my own well-being. 

Once again – Inner stance and underlying intention.

Life is better when everything lines up. 

Truth be told my overwhelming feeling is one of relief. 

No more bob and weave. 

No more being flippant about the totality of what I have been about this lifetime, minimizing vs owning.

No more puffing up in an unconscious effort to mask perceived inadequacy. 

No more shrinking from the same perceived inadequacy. 

I am able to be more present with both at the very same time. 

There is more room to simply be. However that is.

Checking my stance. Paying attention to my ‘why’, to my internal vision so that I am current. More aligned to the present moment evolving me I actually am. 

Ready for the next turning in the evolutionary wheel with curiosity and a sense of anticipated discovery. 

Remembering that we are born little by little, every single day. 

What have been your own unexpected revelations? Your strengthened stance? The inner victories you are celebrating?

I’d truly love to know. 

Lets End – with a moment of Stillness and Peace to take in the serenity and unexpected beauty marking the closure of the precious gift of another day lived fully alive here on planet Earth. 

This was taken one glorious Summer evening gazing across the water in Buck Bay on Orcas Island – other islands and the Olympic mountains off in the distance.

Washington state. 

The post Unexpected Revelations appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello lovely and courageous human,

Since last June I have been getting the nudge to share this story with you. 

Honestly I thought it was just for you, until I found a document yesterday morning that I did not even remember having. It was then that I realized there is a beautiful twist to this whisper to share.

Along with the story arrived an answer and a greater understanding to something I have been calling in for as long as I can remember.

I am reminded once again –  nothing we do is ever “just” for another or “just” for ourselves. 

Over the course of the last two days I have put this Missive together. 

As it happens – Mercury is currently “retrograde” which does  tend to bring things from the past back into our awarenss, perhaps so we may have a deeper understanding.

It also signals a time to slow down and check for errors.  Therefore I ask for your forgiveness and patience with any typos, miss-speliings or other errors I have inadvertently missed correcting before I pressed send.

May what follows be useful and restorative. 

May it inform the deepest aspects alive within you in some beneficial and transformative way.

Once upon a time…. 

Thirty-five years ago I, a newly divorced single mother of three very young children traveled into the desert to cry for a vision for my life – what indigenous peoples have traditionally called a Vision Quest.

A day or so into my time in the desert – after I located, set up and got settled into the spot where I would reside for the remainder of my quest, it did not take me all that long to come to the understanding that I was well and truly afraid of EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

The outward manifestation of abundant and nonstop fear running, was me furiously stomping around in heavy hiking boots my jeans tucked tightly into the tops of my boots.

The purpose of the stomping was to scare the bejeezus out of any scorpions, tarantulas and rattle snakes anywhere so they would stay far, far away from me. To be clear no-one actually ever saw any of these beings out there as far I know in all the years of going out to that area.

So – there I was In the middle of the Eastern Washington desert, not another human for miles and miles, save for the two holding space for me in base camp some distance away.

I constantly scanned the horizon for danger, my nervous system on hyper-alert. Turns out this was actually my normal state of being – I just had no awareness of this true state of affairs until I was in the middle of somewhere and the busy-ness of Life was no longer distracting me.

For three days and nites under the vast expanse of sky – just me, my terror and I sheltered under a tarp held up with tent poles and some rope.

At night as I lay in my sleeping bag trying to fall asleep, the vastness of the Milky Way above me, I imagined that a bare chested, bearded cartoonish crazy-man was climbing up the far side of the butte where I lay. Hand over hand, a hatchet in his mouth, I was convinced he was coming to find me and hack me to pieces.

Needless to say my imagination was running away with me in its nightmarish jaws.

As a way to ensure safety and to let those in base camp know I was still alive and well a “buddy pile” was created. This was was an agreed upon and designated, easy to find place where we stacked stones somewhere out of site of both base camp and my quest site.

I would go in the afternoon and place a rock or some sign on one side of the stacked rock pile to signal I was alive and prevailing. 

In the morning my friend in base camp did the same except on the opposite side of the pile.

The second day in I was deliberately stomping my way along a deer track toward the buddy pile, doing my best to scare off all the snakes, spiders and scorpions, my size twelve heavily booted feet pounding and shaking the earth in every direction.

When I was more than halfway to my destination a small brown mouse suddenly darted across the tiny downhill path I was traversing. 

As I watched – it froze – right in the middle of the path.

I am sure it sensed my relatively enormous presence as life threatening danger, plain and simple. 

My response was to stop and get very quiet – reasoning that would let the mouse know all was well and it could safely continue on its way.

Instead that tiny mouse stayed frozen in place. 

Shaking and shaking – until it literally listed sideways and died of fright.

I still tear up whenever I remember this.

In the moment I was horrified, shocked and saddened. I felt awful and firmly believed I had killed that mouse. 

I said prayers for its safe passage to the beyond as I had been trained and moved it gently to the side of the path, placing some cornmeal as offering nearby. 

After much rumination I later realized that that tiny mouse bestowed upon me a priceless gift.

I have come to believe that this small and precious mouse gave away its life so that I could begin a profound healing process. 

So that Fear would begin to release the viselike grip it had on my life and sanity.

So that I would be prepared to more deeply understand the power and nature of Fear.

In witnessing that life and death moment I was able to outwardly observe and deeply imprint how Fear itself can paralyze and even kill. 

To this day I believe some of my own internal terror died that afternoon, along with that courageous little mouse. 

Thank you Mouse. You are a dear and precious ally.

My relationship to Fear certainly shifted after that. 

That night I slept soundly on the rocky ground under my tarp and felt at home in both my body and on the Land.

Not long after that vision quest I began assisting my friend in supporting other questers in that very same desert. After a while I was wearing flip-flops, shorts and tank tops in base camp. I hiked in tennis shoes and shorts and knew I was safe. 

Back to this particular moment in time. 

I currently have many projects and ideas that are a continual nudge – much  like an enthusiastic passel of pups waiting impatiently to be let out and run free to play in the yard.

The internal prods have been getting louder and more insistent.

For the last many months I have been asking my unseen helpers, guides, allies, etc as well as my own wise inner knowing to help me understand the frozenness, reluctance and doubt that continually arises around stepping forward. 

I am keenly aware that this is a theme that has run through my entire life experience. It is something I’ve been circumnavigating for decades. 

I now understand that this particular flavor of reluctance did not originate with me personally, rather it came down the ancestral lineage from my mother and perhaps her mother and most likely way before her, as a response to ensure survival of the lineage itself.

As I said as when I began this tale – I vaguely remembered writing an earlier version of the mouse story. This morning I was compelled to do a thorough search of all the files on my laptop to find it rather than simply proceed with the story. 

Lo and behold – The answer I had been calling in and the key to how to proceed was contained within the single document I found.

It is an exchange with a business advisor I briefly worked with sixteen years ago and I had totally forgotten took place.

I share it below 

The advisor basically wrote (presumably in response to something I had written to her.) 

“I absolutely get feeling both excited and afraid. I feel the same way when I’m undertaking something new. And as a business owner it seems I’m always doing something new.

Would you say more about the fear piece? Sometimes bringing fears into the light can be really helpful. They (fears) have a funny way of sneaking up when you least expect it and keep you from doing what your heart is desiring.

Just be curious.”

Here is the first part of my still very familiar response to her – 

“The fear is that I won’t show up all the way or do the work asked of me to move forward. Not that I am unable, but that I will freeze and not do it.  That doubt will paralyze me. 

This speaks to exactly what you said – about fear sneaking up and keeping us from what we most want. As I sat with this question, what comes is fear of being afraid and not moving.” 

I then shared a very brief version of the mouse story. 

After I continued and everything became clearer – 

“Life is like this.  

Thank you for reminding me.  

When I start something new and don’t know the terrain I often feel afraid. And don’t even know it! The mind always wants to know the outcome  – and that is simply not possible.  

My inner guidance tells me to go in a particular direction. So I do – I step forward and then – often – Fear stops me in my tracks (as Doubt, the poisoner of dreams bubbles up.)** 

(Doubt and Fear it seems are two sides of the same coin when it comes to taking action aligned to spiritual expression.)** 

So I have learned to drop into my heart and feel the fear all the way and then decide – to trust.  

This is my definition of courage. Following my passion, listening to the messages deep inside, feeling the fear and excitement of the unknown, accepting it ALL and moving forward. One step at a time.”

**The words inside parenthesis above are ones
I added in yesterday to illuminate for myself my
current moment understanding.

Holy hallelujah!

What a powerful and illuminating reunion I experienced with my old trickster allies – Fear and her cousin Doubt – who between you and me have been frankly kicking my ass of late. 

In my very human forgetting I arrogantly slipped into “knowing” them and consequently had been viewing them both as adversaries. As something to “get over” rather than completely turning and facing them as the true allies they can be. 

Today I am once again reminded that Fear has many faces and shows up subtly disguised in any number of nuanced variations – most often quietly hanging out just under the surface of awareness –  unseen and unnamed.

In my current understanding here are some things I “know.”

Fear is absolutely not a “bad” thing.

Feeling fear is not a moral failure or a judgment on the value of our character. 

It doesn’t say anything about us other than we are human and are partially a biological being. 

Fear is simply energy, a natural and vital biological response. 

Its underlying purpose is to keep us alive. The aspect of Mind is where things gets tricky for us humans. 

Sometimes Excitement is interpreted internally as Fear. 

Fear’s message distilled down is simply one of “Pay Attention!”

Fear itself, however is not a determinant of the quality of whatever it is pointing toward.

Fear could be saying – 

“Pay attention! That’s a rattlesnake in front of you!”

Or…

“Pay attention! Mixed messages are coming in. This situation is confusing.”

Or…

“Pay attention! This is something new and unknown.” 

In which case a very old biological survival imperative to freeze may take over because the mind has no history about the actual and specific situation to pull from in its data bank. 

Fear may arise unrecognized  – in this case as reluctance – and significantly slow the roll. 

Most of us learned at a very early age to push fear away. Way, way down into the vault of our unconscious, most likely because it activated unresolved energy carried by the big humans that were our caregivers.

Pushing it down in the moment was a truly brilliant survival strategy, by the way.

Unfortunately Fear’s message then becomes distorted and muffled, even to the point of complete denial that Fear even exists, negating the possibility, even the probability that it is a determinant of the direction and execution of one’s day to day life.

Fear unchecked, unrecognized, unexamined and unexpressed, I have found is absolute poison to the Spirit, the mind and the body.

Sometimes events we have experienced in the past leave such a powerful imprint on our psyche – which Jung said IS the body – because we were not able to fully express what we were feeling at the time and no-one was there to support us through it.

The survival response activated by the event then keeps the distress signal turned on and/or creates an unconscious habituated response to stimuli that reminds the psyche in some way of the original event. This is the definition of trauma I currently use.

This is especially true of events where we felt overwhelmed, afraid and alone.

I have come to see and understand that for thousands of years, at the very least, Fear has been systematically weaponized and utilized by Empire, Patriarchy and those who wish to control humanity – harvesting energy, money, time and attention – for their own agendas, benefit and means.

I know that Fear can immobilize and divide us, even/especially from our own Divine Self. 

Fear can in part facilitate the Spirit-sickness we “modern” humans are wont to succumb to. The sickness of separation from our own wise inner knowing, our wise internal compass, our North Star, our true nature. As well as the insidious and deliberate separation from each other, Nature, the Earth and her wisdom and rhythms. Separation from the All. 

Fear is an enormous – perhaps nearly infinite subject. After all it is possible  the origins began eons ago in a single celled organism as biological life began.

Perhaps this is the invitation for each of us to initiate a open and curious conversation with Fear. To deepen our understanding and relationship to it. 

To reevaluate what we make Fear mean – about us, about others, about the nature of Life in general.

To endeavor to become more intimate with its nature and what it actually is and how it has actually been influencing our lives. 

To bring this into the light, into the shared conversation so that we may experience increasing freedom from collective bondage. 

So that we may each bring the gifts that only we can bring into the collective experience.

The good news is we don’t have to go back into the past and undo anything. 

Simple habitual awareness consistently practiced over time, often in the presence of a wise and well seasoned guide at first allows us to see and experience things in a new light – to alchemize the cellular responses so they no longer are unconsciously driving us.

As I sit quietly in this moment I am aware of deep gratitude for the heads up and re-membering that this finally completed action of sharing the little mouse story has gifted me. 

The fresh air. The recognition and understanding.

The stronger foundation upon which to move forward. 

I can already see and feel the path open before me. 

Here’s to truly acknowledging and feeling the fear. 

Saying “Hello! I see you.” 

Allowing it to move, rather than ignoring it or shoving it down and then “doing it anyway.”

To heeding Fear’s call of “Attention!” to come back to the body. 

To Breath. 

To Stillness. 

Back to the Self.

Aligning once again with the generative impulse alive within each of us that sparks the original authentic creative impulse we deeply yearn to express. 

Welcoming the intrinsic bestowal ignited by your Divine Spirit – the Divinity alive within you – that only you are able to contribute to the Infinite, however that translates into action and genuine expression in your particular life.

As I come to a close, I know there has been much left unsaid about Fear and how it impacts our lives.

My prayer is that this be the start of an ongoing conversation.

Feel free to send along your own wisdom. I gratefully open to it. It does take all of us, after all.

I also want to acknowledge that as I once again picked up the threads of the Missive this morning it was with the unsettling news that the US has again engaged in war in the Middle East. 

Perhaps there is something far wiser than my human understanding at work in bringing this particular story and sharing to fruition today. 

May we all remember that Fear can be an ally – a natural result of stepping out in authenticity and aliveness. 

And may we all willingly open our hearts, minds and hands to receive the blessings of this sacred exchange so all may know the true freedom of our own authentic expression, then generatively pass it on contributing a thousand-fold to the fulfilment of our most generous visions for the future of all.

~ ~ ~ 

This Missive is dedicated to my dear friend Nancy and to all who have been paralyzed at some point in their lives by Fear and yet chosen to step forward acting in alignment with their own deepest inner guidance – in trust and faith – anyway. 

Bless you whoever and wherever you are. 

The post Afraid of EVERY. SINGLE. THING – A true Life Story appeared first on Melani Marx.

Hello lovely human – Welcome to the Year of the Fire Horse!!

I’ve been sitting with this turning and I promise, there’s more than a runaway horse and fire burning out of control ahead of us.

The qualities most popularly bandied about to describe the energies of this lunar year humanity has found itself in are –

Leadership.  Energy.  Ambition.  Drive.  Progress.  Power.

These are presented in a way that I find a bit frightening and aggressive, mostly superficial, aligned with patriarchal hustle culture and very Yang.

So let’s explore what else is present and possible when we take a deeper look at the qualites of Horse and the element of Fire…

Here’s a bit of what I know about horses. 

Horses, when approached with honesty, attention, openness and respect can be the most engaging and delightful of companions and partners. They are deeply loyal and create long lasting friendships. 

Horses have enormous heart capacity. The electrical energy of the heart radiates out around them– five times that of a human. Their heart rhythm is naturally “coherent,” a frequency linked to calm, joy, cooperation and ease. 

This is why simply being with horses quietly brings us into those states as well. 

Horses are powerful mirrors and will reflect a human’s energy back to them. If you are feeling one way and acting another they will respond to what is unspoken and true – not the pretense, mask or bluff. 

Horses want authenticity and presence, not persona.

I remember one time I was sitting on the ground in a field with a herd of horses around me. I was all up in my head, silently fuming about something. A beautiful grey walked up to me from behind, nipped me on the shoulder and as I shot up and faced him, he just looked at me like – “Well?! Knock that off! Look around you! Get present!”

I also remember another time working with a group of horses and humans for healing purposes. 

One horse was particularly unresponsive to this particular human. She could not get the horse to engage with her or even look at her at all.

Until she got real.  Allowed all her posturing, all the ideas about how she was “supposed” to be doing it to fall away She softened and began to cry. 

Then the horse quite simply, gently walked right up to her, signaled it was in accord, nuzzling her with its head in solidarity, comfort and acceptance.  

Horses ask that you “entrain” heart to heart. Authentically matching energy with them in order to move forward, harmoniously. Together.

Horses are highly intelligent, social animals. Horses are also herd animals, which means they work together for the good of all.

Humans are herd animals as well, which we tend to forget in the midst of the cultural push toward “individualism,” competition and self-centering.

In the hierarchical order of the herd – the stallion is in charge of protecting his herd. He will do this with his life if necessary. When it is time to move the stallion locates himself in the very back of the herd – as protector. Archetypally, masculine energy when positively expressed creates steadiness, safety and gives a sense of “having our back”.  

The daily needs and movements of the heard are led by a rotating group of mares.  

When the current lead mare falls back for any reason another one simply and immediately takes her place. Leadership is fluid. They know that they survive and ultimately thrive when the herd also thrives and survives. 

Courageous action informed by your intrinsic, authentic and unique aspect within the Whole is a theme for the year.

Horses are able to travel far and be of great service. They also
need to rest, have plenty of fresh water as well as time to quietly commune and restore themselves. 

Horse is calling for deliberate attention to Rest, restoration and abundant hydration this year. 

Because of the nature of their digestion – horses need be mindful of what they eat.

Tending to what you take in and consume in all ways this year will be important to engender a healthy constitution and outlook  – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. 

What will truly nourish and sustain you in fulfilling the vision for the future you wish to create? 

Horses sleep standing up. You will rarely see a horse lying down. Movement is crucial to their health as well as their ability to digest what they take in.

Movement is a strong theme for this Fire Horse year. 

It’s grand to gallop. 

It is also delicious to meander and wander. 

I am reminded how simple walking can free the mind to allow integration and assimilation of external input so that authentic creative action may arise and inform.

Follow the body’s impulses to move!

Speaking of movement – my sense is this year is going to move VERY quickly. Time already appears to be speeding up and bending in odd ways.

Horses are also highly attuned to their surroundings and to each other. Being aware of and remembering our intrinsic connection and Unity – our underlying Oneness – heals divisiveness and is deeply curative.

And. 

We don’t want to get lost in the energy of the collective.

I believe it is especially important to be mindful of not carelessly “following the herd” this year. 

Sitting quietly and regularly dropping in, utilizing practices to support self individuation are of vital importance in order to not be swept up by the panic of the herd, aka – mass consciousness and the collective psychic manipulation through fear and chaos that is and will continue to be afoot.

Step back. Breathe. Utilize trustworthy tools and practices to stay connected to your body and spirit

I repeat. 

Take time to become coherent every day so you may BE calm. 

Be Peace. Be clear.

Be authentic in your responses. 

So you may be bold in your heart centered – actions.

Then you will be able to move forward, connected to your beautiful generative heart, your body’s brilliant wisdom and your wise inner compass – 

Rather than following the mind’s push to fulfill the unconscious and illusory siren song of perfection and the impossible fulfillment of the never truly completed “to do” list. 

In other words – find your Joy and practice it!

What about the Fire element partnering with Horse?

Yes, Fire can burn things up and destroy, yet this same quality also has the power to transmute and transform. To warm and illuminate the darkness.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine Fire is the element that rules the heart. Can you say synchronicity?

The Fire element is also associated with the emotion of Joy. Joy is one of the qualities emitted in heart coherence. (For more about Heart Coherence check out HeartMath Institute.)

The Fire Element’s sound is laughing. What a great practice to cultivate this year!

The taste associated with Fire is bitter.

Bitter herbs support digestion, clear the lungs, support the circulatory system, the nervous system and reduce inflammation

Perhaps develop a relationship with Dandelion, Chicory, Endive or Arugula this year. 

Fire traditionally feeds the hearth and warms the home when it is well tended. Fire supports nourishment and warmth. 

Fire needs tending to support Life.

When Life is moving too fast, when tempers are flared, when the heat feels like it’s been turned up – keep coming back to the Land. 

Thank the Great Mother – Earth. Rest in her lap. Practice grounding… bare feet on Earth. 

When things get “too hot”
Remember Water tempers Fire – stay hydrated this year. 
Spend time around natural bodies of water. Sit by a river and ask her to teach you about Flow.
Take a bath. Splash your face. 

Fire can also burn itself out if left untended.Wood feeds Fire – go to the woods. Go to nature. Watch the sunrise. Rest and restore. 

When all is said and done – Remember Joy!

Be sure to kick up your heels, feel your oats.

Play a little!

Laugh a lot!

Some questions to ponder…. 

What is the potential you would like to align with this year as we move further into the year of the Fire Horse?

What are you being called to bring movement to?

What will support the deepening of your authentic joyful expression?

What qualities of the Horse do you choose to cultivate in your own life?

I’d love to know if you’d like to share…
 

~ ~ ~ 
 

My best friend as a child growing up and through adolescence was a delicate little mare I affectionately named Dinker.  

I dedicate this Missive to her, her beautiful gentle heart and sweet spirit that got me through so, so much. 

The post A Blazing Fire and a Runaway Horse? appeared first on Melani Marx.