The Great Oz Adventure!

Simple Joys

2016-04-16T21:56:00.004+10:00

I'm so glad I booked us in for the new Scienceworks planetarium show: "Capturing the Cosmos".

The girls are not that interested in science, yet when I looked out the corner of my eye, #1 was avidly watching the show, with no sign of boredom, and afterwards when the presenter was taking questions, she was still listening closely.

The snack bags on our way out were a nice touch too. Each of us got a bag with a bottle of water, cheese and crackers, and 2 mini muffins. Thanks, Scienceworks!

Afterwards, we wandered around the exhibits and the museum shop, then voted to try a Japanese cafe that we just happened to park in front of.

The menu had a section that read like a manual of customer expectations management. I loved it - I mean, when was the last time you laughed out loud before you even ordered?

1 variation to a dish is ok. 2 or more is not.
Don't expect Aussie portions.
Don't expect French-trained chefs. We only do homestyle cooking.

That menu is why I'm coming back. But I'll remember the portion size warning. Next time, I'm having a whole bento to myself!

And one more thing: the black sesame ice cream is amazing! I almost regretted sharing 2 scoops with hubby - I could have eaten it all myself.

The Beginning of Wisdom

2015-05-08T18:29:00.003+10:00

As #1 settles into the routine of high school, I cannot help but notice how much more interested and vocal she has become about the subjects closest to her heart.

She has even begun educating her peers (and her dad) on them.

Shooting of unarmed black men by white policemen in the US. (Ferguson. Baltimore. Trayvon Martin. Tamir Rice. Michael Brown. Eric Garner. Walter Scott. Freddie Gray.)

http://gawker.com/unarmed-people-of-color-killed-by-police-1999-2014-1666672349

Gender stereotyping. Gender equality.

She has become ultra sensitive to the plight of marginalized minority groups.

The next step is to guide her to use her God-given intellect, compassion and sense of justice to do something positive and constructive to create awareness, reduce injustice and contribute to a better world.

And to keep walking with God and trusting that He has the whole world in His hands in spite of our denial of Him, and a plan that is perfect, in spite of our imperfection.

May God give her enough years and the wisdom and humility to live out her mission.

Quiet Weekends Rock

2015-05-04T14:09:00.002+10:00

Such a quiet weekend, yet such a rewarding one.

On Sat, took #2 to Chinese class in the morning and extra piano lesson in the arvo.

During Chinese class, the teacher announced hat she is going to use more Mandarin and less English in class, because that is the best way for students to improve their grasp of spoken Mandarin. Also, she prefers that parents (like me) not help kids out by translating for them. If they have questions, they can ask her directly.

I thoroughly approve. But I also know #2 is not ready. She can barely string a sentence together without prompting. She needs far more 1:1 attention and less stress from 听写，默写, speed word games and trying to keep up with 老师's rapid 北京 accent.

It took me 11 years of continuous daily Chinese lessons and another 2 years as a mature adult to get to the (average) conversational standard that I am at. Imagine my poor Ozzie-born child trying to reach that standard when we don't even speak Mandarin at home. (My fault: I'm not that diligent.)

So the options are: homeschool her (am I patient enough, or will I yell when frustrated and create more friction between us?), or repeat Grade 4.

#2 sat her AMEB Grade 2 piano exam yesterday.

By the time yesterday came around, I had been through the whole cycle of stress (from "Why haven't you mastered your scales by now? Why are there still mistakes in your pieces??" to "If you get A or above, I will buy you Lego Friends") and had reached a place of inner calm and was able to surrender the situation to God and be my most encouraging and positive. Just as well it was hubby driving to Hawthorn, not me.

I remember this time 3 years ago when #1 sat her Grade 3 piano exam. She was 10 and at her most musically rebellious. She had made up her mind that she hated piano and would not practise, not even for the exam. I sat outside the studio on exam day, cringing as she misplayed her way through her pieces. Every wrong note felt like it was piercing my heart, and I almost wanted to go into the studio and take over for her. She got a C, and we decided that it was very clear that classical piano was not for her, and abandoned our well-meaning aspirations. I felt so bad for her teacher, who'd had to put up with a student who didn't want to learn and was wasting everyone's time.

While #2 was having her exam, I went to church with #1. Am grateful that she can now sit through the service without trying to sneak off every 30 minutes for some random reason like she used to. Lunch at KFC and then a trip to the library, which always makes us happy. We went home with a bag full of books (20 just for #2 and me) and everyone flopped around reading/napping.

A perfect weekend, really.

Why being a tradie can be better than working in an office

2015-01-31T17:58:00.002+11:00

Our backyard has developed a life of its own - the grass is knee-high and the weeds are taller than we are.

The flyer that came in our mailbox promised lawn mowing from $24.95, which sounded enticing.

I rang the number, and the franchisee for our area came by.

As I took him around, I specified the job:

Mowing of nature strip and backyard
Removal of rubbish
Removal of weeds
Removal of one dead tree
Trimming of hedges and shrubs for front yard and backyard

He quoted me $520.

After years of talking to different tradies, having your own business as a tradie sounds more lucrative than being an office worker. You get to go on holidays and spend the weekends with family, but you choose your hours and your rates.

After taking into consideration the number of hours the average office worker spends at work plus time spent commuting, the tradie may well make more than the office worker, especially if you've built up a decent client base.

Something for tertiary-educated new migrants to think about?

God and Sunday School Camp

2015-01-11T23:06:00.003+11:00

Right up till yesterday, I was feeling a bit discouraged by the low turnout for this year's Sunday School Camp. (We had 18 last year and just over 10 registrations this year.)

Then in less than 24 hours, we had a flurry of registrations, including 6 kids who have never attended the camp.

The total as I write is 19.

Was saying to hubby that I think this is God's way of saying He wants this camp to go ahead, that He is sovereign and He is guiding our steps.

All glory to Him.

Communications lessons learned:

Posting on my personal timeline in FB (instead of only in the SS group) attracted several likes and comments from friends and led to two new registrations.
Following up by phone and face-to-face produces immediate results. It garnered two new registrations from kids who have never camped with us.
Screening last year's camp video during the announcements over the past few Sundays helped the congregation get familiar with what camp is about. Straight after service today we were approached by a parent who wanted to register her two kids, who have never camped with us.

In other words, there is no one best method. Try everything.

2015 already!

2015-01-03T13:35:00.001+11:00

My brain has not fully registered that we are three days into the new year.

This is the year ...

My firstborn starts high school.

My younger child sits her first NAPLAN.

My best friend turns 40.

My soulmate turns 50 (!!).

There is much to be grateful for, and much more to learn.

So far we have enjoyed a four-day road trip, staying one night at Horsham and three nights in Adelaide. Was touched by evidence of personal growth in the firstborn, such as when she generously read fairytales to mei mei one night, and when she showed concern for Dad who drove non-stop from Warrnambool to reach home by midnight. Every five minutes, she would ask: "Are you okay Dad? Dad are you feeling okay?" Beautiful. She even sang to keep Dad awake, something she would never do in the daytime and under normal circumstances. It was so wondrous to hear her sing 'Stars' from Les Mis with feeling and lyrical accuracy, while we admired the thousand points of light in the black sky on that dark and deserted minor road leading to the Geelong Ring Road.

The tiler has come in and replaced all the vinyl flooring in the laundry and guest bathroom and toilet with tiles, and the carpeting (!!) in the ensuite with tiles.

I did not know 12 boxes of 30x30 charcoal-coloured tiles could bring me so much joy and make our comfy home even more pleasant to walk through.

Love his level of professionalism and detail. Now if he had only taken away the rubbish with him instead of leaving it in the carport, I would have given him 10/10. As it is, he gets 9/10.

Next big job is repainting the house, because the tradie who did the bathroom resurfacing accidentally took off significant bits of plaster from the ceiling. When you change one thing, you often find you have to change a whole lot of other things as well.

Bilingual Breakthrough

2014-12-14T22:02:00.001+11:00

Whenever my tween shows an interest in speaking Mandarin or Hokkien (one of many Chinese dialects), I am always thrilled.

Tonight, she heard me answer my husband in Hokkien and asked what I said.

So began a simple lesson on counting one to ten and working out the ages of all the family members.

By the end of it, she was able to answer in Hokkien when asked "How old are you?"

I also explained the connection to Mandarin, how "你今年几岁了?” = le kin ni kui huay?

Was impressed by her quick grasp of the sounds, considering we aren't in a bilingual environment where she is exposed to the sound of Mandarin and Hokkien on a daily basis.

There is hope!

Whirlwind visit to Sg

2014-12-02T17:29:00.002+11:00

Have just returned from 3 days in Penang and 7 days in Singapore.

The 3 days were spent with my CG on a makan fest around Penang. We were chauffeured in two vans, which gave me an opportunity to catch up with different members, both adults and kids. Enjoyed sampling the local version of char koay teow, chendol, rojak, wan tan mee and roti prata. But I could not answer yes when asked if I have any cravings. I am as happy with Aussie food as I am with Asian food.

I learned that I am much more comfortable where I am now - physically and emotionally - and that when I am back home, I sometimes lapse into a state of learned helplessness and have to remind myself that I have made so much progress since migrating and not to waste my experiences and new skills.

The 7 days went by in a blur. Loved that #2 had a chance to sleep over with her cousin. They partied till midnight everyday, always finding things to do together: swimming, drawing, painting, singing to Taylor Swift on YouTube. I closed an eye and let them be - it's the school holidays after all (in Singapore, though not in Victoria till mid-December).

Aside from being present at Mum's 80th (the main reason for the visit), I was able to catch up with an ex-classmate/uni friend/college friend/FB friend/various relatives. I had not seen S for 30 years since we were in Sec 2 together. We went to different classes in Sec 3 and 4, different JC's, and did different courses in uni. S found me on FB a few weeks ago and we rekindled our connection. During our lunch together, she shared a little of her dramatic life story and presented me with a copy of the book she co-wrote with her husband. Have just finished reading it and am tremendously humbled and moved by what they have endured and how God has proven faithful. How wonderful is our God to bring us together like this.

I have always loved the forethought put into Sg infrastructure, particularly the way malls are linked to the MRT station, making travel easy and comfortable when it rains or gets too humid. My new favourite mall is NEX at Serangoon Central. It was there I discovered Sianeder, a local boutique (not the fashion chain kind) where a tai-tai looking lady kept encouraging me to try different outfits which she recommended as looking good on me. She has outstanding personal skills, making me feel special and attractive and like a VIP. If I ever need tips on grooming, presentation, sales skills, I will definitely go to her.

Overall, did not get to shop as much as I would have liked, and did not get to fulfill all requests to meet up. But that just gives me another excuse to visit again soon.

For now, I'm just happy to be home.

Expanding My Driving Territory

2014-08-22T13:44:00.000+10:00

I really thank God for answering my prayer on Thursday.

I had two appointments: one in Ascot Vale, to which I've never driven, and one in Williamstown, and my prayer was to get there and in between and back safely.

The name "Ascot Vale" made me nervous. For some reason, I kept thinking of that gangland incident on Union Road some years ago, and wondered if it was a good idea to hang out there.

Hubby was incredulous when I first told him I was meeting a friend in Ascot Vale. He of all people knows how nervous I am when driving in unfamiliar territory.

"Why all the way there?"

Indeed. But for my friend who recommended the place as having the dietary options she is after, I would have asked the same question.

In the end, in spite of all my fears about getting lost, running out of petrol, finding myself caught up in some Underbelly-type crossfire, I survived.

The latte was great, the chocolate croissant yummy. S had the vegan equivalent of a tuna panini which got me thinking about going vegetarian. (Some day, not right now.)

I even had time for a stroll along the Williamstown waterfront while waiting for my lunch appointment, something I've not done in a very long time. So out of practice was I that I struggled to quell the noise in my mind and to be fully present to the beauty of my surroundings.

I've learned something valuable: the only way to get over the discomfort of something is to keep doing it a little at a time until the discomfort eventually goes away and it becomes another autopilot process.

Best School Production Ever

2014-05-19T14:34:00.003+10:00

I have always loved school productions.

I have many fond memories of RGS Night and being a part of something big that involved lots of people pulling together to create something amazing.

When we were at HCC, I enjoyed the musicals they did, like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, and Oklahoma!

On Saturday, we went to watch KIC's production of Fiddler on the Roof.

I give it a 9.5/10.

Everything was done to such a high standard: sets, orchestra, singing, acting, stage make-up and costumes. The lead actor was probably 18 but looked completely believable as the hapless Russian Jew Tevye. There was never a moment where you noticed one or two students forget their lines or routines. Everyone knew what they were doing and did it beautifully.

If this is an indication of the quality KIC stands for, I am truly impressed.

The following day, we went to the information session and the principal won me over with his passion for the school and his declaration "that KIC exists for one purpose and one purpose only, to make this world a better place". He mentioned students who had led various charitable causes overseas, the Year 9 Chiang Mai experience which involves volunteering with refugees and building schools and homes, and the extensive co-curricular activities available, including homework club where KIC students help local refugees learn English. We were taken on a tour of current and future buildings, the latter being the aquatic centre (two pools!) and Learning Commons. The teacher who led our group spoke glowingly of how her students care for each other and are always eager to be helpful, and how the older students set the tone for the younger ones through their outstanding behaviour.

2014-04-30T21:08:00.003+10:00

So glad we had those two weeks away cos now I feel totally rested and ready to serve.

Like this...

This is my big project for May.

Next, promoting Coffee Club at school and attracting more new mums.

And a December deadline for the book.

Term One 2014 - Day One

2014-02-03T20:41:00.000+11:00

It's wonderful to have the kids back at school.

The elder started Middle School this year and looks so grown-up in her blazer. (I will have to get into ninja mode cos she won't let me take a still of her in school attire.)

The younger happily reported that her best buddies are in her class. Over dinner, she gave thanks for her new teacher and new friends.

Me, I felt a bit lost. The younger one didn't seem to need my help settling into her new environment. And I had trouble figuring out which class the elder had been allocated to. Then I met S, a school mum who was incredibly kind to me in our first year at the school. Last year, we didn't meet much because she did school pick-ups and drop-offs via the drop-off zone. I remember thinking the feeling was mutual when one of us (can't remember who) said it was so good to see the other.

Spent the morning chasing up paperwork for our new IP in Gladstone and organizing coffee chats with contacts.

Looking forward to a productive week.

Humility is...

2013-12-27T16:40:00.000+11:00

Playing Boggle with the 6 yo, then getting handily defeated by QUOTES and ZEBRA, which I hadn't noticed were there.

The journey of an author

2013-12-18T22:08:00.001+11:00

One month into my mentoring program with John Eggen and I am loving the book authoring and publishing process.

There is so much gold in the materials that my yellow highlighter is working overtime.

So much to implement.

So much to unlearn.

I keep going off on these delightful detours as I study the stuff and apply the simplest strategies.

A few of these: incorporating my working book title in my email sig and updating my Linkedin status, have already sparked significant interest among contacts and out-of-touch ex-classmates and colleagues. Putting it out on FB that I am interviewing people who want to share their stories of significant life change has attracted several people to say they have a story they want to share.

What I'm learning is that what you put out there determines what you get back.

Just this morning, I did my first interview on Google Hangout with a pastor in America who opened his heart and shared his story of struggle and redemption. It is a very humbling thing to have a complete stranger trust you that much.

Much like the story of God and man throughout the Bible, God still uses our brokenness to bring about our greatest healing and transformation and to bless others.

My prayer for 2014 is that this book will be used by God to bless many and to spread the message that no matter what our current or past circumstances or limitations, we can always make new choices. We can reinvent our lives at any age.

Good fences make good neighbours

2013-12-11T14:07:00.001+11:00

It's finally done. Another tick off our list of house improvements.

Kudos to the blokes from Jim's Fencing. It's not fun to get rained on while you work, and they picked a day where it rained off and on the whole day. The franchise owner had to come back the next day and bring an assistant with him to finish the job.

And what a job they did.

No more hideous holes in the fence: the view of the disused bath tub in my neighbour's disused carport is now completely hidden behind 1.95m timber palings.

My one and only only grouse: the guys left the driveway covered in muddy tracks from the equipment used for drilling and nailing the fence.

Next investment: a long-handled brush to scrub the driveway with before our next lot of visitors comes through.

More Light, Less Shade

2013-11-06T14:10:00.002+11:00

I have always loved the relative privacy of our property.

Though we are on a corner block, the number and variety of trees on our boundary allow us a feeling of being shielded from the street.

Today, we made a decision - bravely or foolishly - to have a number of those trees cut down so that the block looks tidier, and to remove the danger of a particularly tall cypress falling on our roof in a storm.

The blokes from Taylors Trees did a fine job. They were affable and polite. Arrived within the promised 12-2 timeframe, went through the written quote to make sure the instructions hadn't changed, then got straight to work: chopping down two unproductive fruit trees, two melaleucas, one small unidentified tree and a cypress, grinding down stumps, removing deadwood and debris.

Things to beware during a tree removal job:

The noise - like a fleet of Harley Davidsons going non-stop for half an hour.

Flying mulch and dust - get indoors asap, and stay there till there is complete silence, which means the job has been completed.
Check that the trees you want cut down completely are on your property, not someone else's.

I am glad for the neater look of our block. At least we can now walk to the electrical box at night during a power outage, without worrying that we will stumble into low-hanging branches or trip over a rock. The path to the box, once obscured by the cypress, is now completely clear.

But I'm also sorry that we've had to trade in some of our privacy for it.

Now that our very daggy mission brown boundary fence has been exposed in all its holey glory and we can see our neighbour's front yard, the next action item is clear.

Fix the fence, and say hello to our neighbours.

Spelling Bees in Melbourne: Spellmasters vs. Wyndham Library Spelling Bee

2013-08-21T04:29:00.002+10:00

Since 2011, we have been avid supporters of Spellmasters, the spelling competition open to all students under Year 9 in Melbourne.

This year was our first time being part of the Wyndham Library Spelling Bee (WLSB).

Just for fun (and because I'm a mismatcher), I thought I'd put the two events side by side for comparison.

Spellmasters is open to all schools in Melbourne. WLSB is local to Wyndham, including but not limited to Truganina, Tarneit, Hoppers Crossing, Werribee, Little River, Wyndham Vale, Williams Landing. Full list here.
Spellmasters has two categories: Junior Division for Year 5 and under. Senior Divsion for Year 9 and under. WLSB has two categories: Year 3/4 and Year 5/6.
Anyone from any school in Melbourne can sign up to take part in Spellmasters. WLSB participants are those who have won the spelling bee held by their own school and in that sense are the best spellers from their respective schools.
Spellmasters rounds are held on designated Sundays every month from February to October (except May), with the finals taking place in November. WLSB is held once a year in August.
IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE: Participants in Spellmasters may arrive 15 minutes before their allotted time to complete registration. So if your child is in the Junior Division which is from 1.45 pm to 2.45 pm, he can arrive at 1.30. WLSB participants are required to arrive at 5.15 pm, 1 hr 15 minutes before the start of the Year 3/4 round (6.30 pm), or 2.5 hours before the start of the Year 5/6 round (7.45 pm). If taking part in WLSB, be prepared for a long night and (for your child) a long wait. If possible, give your child a heavier afternoon tea and maybe something to read to sustain him through the waiting. The WLSB staff were very hospitable. They fed the kids (pizza, fruit and water) and spent time engaging and building rapport with them. From experience, the longer the wait, the more nervous and edgy a child may get. Of course, this depends also on the personality of the child. Perhaps WLSB can consider shortening the wait time for participants next year.
There is plenty of information online about Spellmasters, with a very informative and helpful website that includes word lists and spelling tips to help with practice. WLSB does not have a website. Google "Wyndham Library Spelling Bee" or variants thereof, and you will find just a handful of links, most of which are to old school newsletters mentioning the event in passing. There is not a lot of publicity around WLSB, and it is up to the individual school to proactively support and prepare its representatives.
The rules of Spellmasters are clearly stated on the website. The Announcer will also spend a fair amount of time at each round explaining the rules so that participants and their parents are in no doubt as to how they work. The first round is always a Practice Round, which is a great way to ease participants (especially first-timers) into the way the actual competition works. At WLSB, the rules are also explained by the MC on the night, but there is no Practice Round.
Spellmasters is just that little bit stricter. Once you start spelling a word, you are committed and can't ask to re-spell it. If you get it wrong on your first try, you are eliminated. At WLSB, we noticed that participants were allowed to re-spell a word when they were halfway through and realized they had made a mistake or weren't sure about the spelling and wanted to have another go.
The Spellmasters judge says "Correct" and uses a bell for correctly spelled words, and a buzzer if the word is spelled incorrectly. At WLSB, the judges refer to a list of words and orally say "Correct" or "Incorrect".
At Spellmasters, the Announcer and judge refer to a list of pre-selected words and they go down the list as the competition progresses. At WLSB, the MC has an assistant who retrieves random slips of paper from a barrel, like in a lucky draw. This could result in a word given in Round 5 being as simple as a Round 1 word.
IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE: At Spellmasters, the Announcer gives the word and uses it in a sentence. The participant is allowed to ask for the definition of the word and its origin and for the word to be repeated. At WLSB, the MC gives the word but does not use it in a sentence. This means that if there are two words that sound the same or very similar (e.g. steak and stake, profit and prophet), the onus is on the participant to ask for the word to be used in a sentence. Otherwise she might risk misspelling and elimination.
At Spellmasters, the winner of the round receives $50 cash or book voucher and a dictionary or similar. Second and third prize winners also receive a dictionary or similar. The winner's school also receives a trophy. The top three winners of each round automatically earn a place in the finals in November. At WLSB, the winners receive a trophy each for themselves and their school.

If you live in Melbourne and your child enjoys spelling, why not check out Spellmasters or your local Council for spelling bee opportunities. They are a great way to hone your child's presentation skills, ability to perform under pressure (which I think is just as important as the ability to spell well) and of course, confidence.

I wonder if there are spelling bees for adult word lovers too...

What's your age?

2013-07-17T13:08:00.000+10:00

Hubby and I recently celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.

The firstborn turns 11 tomorrow.

A girlfriend I had coffee with told me that I'm "still" a baby cos she's turning 50.

I boldly admitted in front of my Sunday School youth that I'm 42. The girls - including mine - audibly gasped. Not sure if it was the number or my not being coy about my age that got their attention. My point to them was that you don't have to hide your age just cos you're older.

What I also didn't say that I would like to have said, is that there are so many ways to mark the passage of time.

You can be 40 and have the healthy functionality of a 16 year-old, and vice versa.

Some teens are very mature and some grown-ups are very childish (which is different from being childlike, a quality to be desired whatever your age).

Some adults are still trapped in behavioral patterns learned in childhood that they have no awareness of or do not wish to confront. A particular remark can cause them to regress to that helpless 7 year-old from all those decades ago, paralyzed in the presence of a figure of authority, trying to please an unpleasable adult who has more power than you.

I know because I have had plenty of those moments. It's one reason why even now, I don't always feel grown up or worthy of achieving greatness.

What I have learned and am learning is that I always have a choice. There are more options than I think, because what I think depends on what I am deleting, distorting and generalizing at any given time. What I focus on is what I get. So if I want to change my results, I have to change my thinking first.

It's that simple.

Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.

Simple revelations are the beginning of great transformations.

2013-06-11T10:22:00.001+10:00

My crazy schedule for the week:

Tuesday night 7.30-9.30pm - Church Council

Wednesday 9am - Archetypes session with DB.

Friday night 7-10 pm - Leadership Meeting Part 1

Saturday morning 9am - 12pm - Leadership Meeting Part 2.
Bake brownies for Sunday School fundraiser.

Sunday -

10.30 am - Family Service. Sunday School fundraiser.
1 pm - End of term performance at Point Cook Town Centre for both girls.
2 pm - Children's workshop for J.

8 Random Things Learned From Living in Australia

2013-05-16T22:51:00.000+10:00

If you don't ask, you don't get.
Focus on what can go right, not what might go wrong.
Keep looking for ways to add value to other people's lives. You will be happy and busy in a good way.
There is no failure, only feedback. Failure is personal and emotionally threatening. Feedback is neutral; it is what it is.
Everyone is looking at the world through seven chunks of information which are the result of what they have deleted, distorted and generalized. Your seven chunks can never be the same as the other person's seven chunks. Their map is not your map.
If you say no to the doorknocker or telemarketer, do so politely, not with irritation and never in an abusive manner. They are just doing their job. Why not be the rare customer who makes their day? "Determine on the noblest ways of dealing with all people."
There is always a way, and there is always a better way.
You always have a choice.

High School Options

2013-03-20T18:52:00.000+11:00

I wasn't expecting to consider high school so soon, but last Sat, Miss 10 had the opportunity (she would say she was forced) to sit the scholarship exam for entry to Year 7 at Westbourne Grammar.

Assuming she doesn't get the scholarship (which is the only way she can attend the school without us killing ourselves financially), we'll be looking farther afield.

At the moment, top on our list is Kardinia International College (KIC) in Geelong.

Why KIC?

The name was first mentioned by her music teacher at her old school. The teacher's daughter attended KIC and did the IB (International Baccalaureate, the alternative pathway to university other than VCE) program, and spoke positively of it.

We also have a friend whose children this year moved from Beth's old school to KIC.

Plus, the KIC name has started popping up in school mums' conversations (Asian school mums, that is) as one of the options for high school. The generally accepted observation is that there are very few 'good' schools here in the Western suburbs compared to the East. ('Good' refers to the school's academic reputation based on its past VCE results and NAPLAN results, which are obtainable from the My Schools website.)

Westbourne is acknowledged all round as a good school but too expensive for the average family. Heathdale Christian College is less expensive but has only an average academic track record, with its Junior School receiving much stronger parental approval than its Senior School.

Good News Lutheran College is not yet a full college.

Werribee Secondary College has a select entry program (plus) but is a public school with a bit of a 'reputation' (minus), deserved or otherwise. Parents I have spoken with aren't exactly keen on sending their kids there.

Suzanne Cory has a select entry program but is only available from Year 9 onwards, which means you still have to find a decent high school for Years 7 and 8.

Last Sunday, we were able to attend an info session at KIC. It was well-organized, the staff were well-presented and articulate, and we came away with a very positive impression of the place, the school leadership and the curriculum. Beth was enamored by the cashless canteen and has eagerly encouraged her good friend C to check out the school's website.

Hubby and I particularly like the idea of a Vertical Curriculum. When a student enters Year 7, they are assessed for their proficiency in different subjects. If they are stronger in a particular subject, they may be invited to join a more senior class to study that subject. The examples given were of a Year 7 student doing VCE Math, and another Year 7 music student playing in an orchestra alongside Year 8, 9 and 10 students. So you avoid the whole teaching-to-the-middle situation where one assumes that all Year 7 students learn in the same way at the same pace and to the same level of ability in all subjects.

One of our frustrations with the school system has been how teacher-dependant our children's learning and achievement is. If you get a teacher who is flexible and alert to each of her students' abilities and potential and is willing to adapt the curriculum accordingly, good for you. Otherwise, you may face an uphill battle if you have a child who needs that extra stretching so as to stay engaged in class. I have heard parents deplore their children's apparent backward slide into academic mediocrity because of changes to the school's way of delivering learning outcomes (less homework, less challenging tasks, being forced to do lower-level math when the child has already mastered higher-level math in previous grades).

The minuses: KIC is a good 40-minute drive away. There is a school bus that comes to the Werribee area, but one would have to be prepared to rise much earlier in order to make the bus schedule.

Also, KIC is a non-denominational Christian school, which to me sounds like there isn't as much of an emphasis on Christian values and disciplines like weekly chapel and daily devotions, as compared to a denominational school like Good News Lutheran College. I could be wrong of course.

As we consider our options and make decisions, I am reminded that "if any man lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all without reserve and without reproach, and it will be given him" (James 1:5).

2013-03-07T23:03:00.001+11:00

Going for my first ever martial arts grading and getting my yellow belt definitely makes it to my list of "2013 Highlights".

When I started last July, it was to discover if martial arts was my cup of tea. I was a PE failure at school and a gym dropout. Loved aerobics when I was with Amore in Sg but didn't quite enjoy the routines or ambience of the gyms here. (Excuses excuses.) I even took up a term of dancing two years ago. Then the school closed because my instructor received a promotion in her day job.

Martial arts is the most challenging sport I've tried in my spotty fitness history.

I came up against all kinds of boundary conditions.

Fear of ridicule. I have managed to be the slowest in my class for commando crawl, bear crawl, burpees, push ups...anything that requires speed/core strength. On grading day, I graded alongside a group of very energetic kids, the youngest of whom looked about 5. Guess who was hyperventilating and almost sick at the end of one hour plus?

Fear of falling. This one held me back for the longest time when I was learning forward rolls. I couldn't trust myself to let go and let my body do its natural thing.

Fear of injury and being incapacitated. One of my buddies, a green belt no less, fell awkwardly on his shoulder when thrown, and dislocated it - he was out of action for 3 months. Not helpful.

I can't do this. Why am I here? This one popped up every time I was asked to do something unfamiliar and challenging. One time, I started welling up during a demo of choke holds. For some inexplicable reason, the tears just came and I couldn't stop them. I was so embarrassed. My instructor was very understanding and encouraged me to leave the mat and take my time coming back on. Afterwards he asked if I'd ever been in a situation where I might have been a victim and I said no. I didn't understand why my body was reacting the way it did. He said it was okay and that different people have different no-go zones.

Looking back, the past 7 months have been an incredible journey of personal growth. What began as an experiment has grown into something much larger that contributes positively to my self-identity. I am so grateful for how my new skills are spilling over into my worldview and transforming me.

I am learning to activate the warrior within.

To persevere. Interestingly, the message I keep getting from my instructor is how impressed he is by my perseverance, a trait I would never have been associated with before I started my martial arts training. I am good at starting things but not finishing them, because I lacked perseverance and determination and gave up when the going got rough. (I have deliberately used the past tense because I choose to focus on how persistent and determined I am capable of being.)

To do whatever it takes to master a technique. In wrestling to 'get' the forward roll, I practised on the lounge carpet at home, in the dojo, watched YouTube videos, videoed my instructor and deconstructed his movements, and observed how the more outstanding kids did it. I finally had a breakthrough of sorts about two weeks ago, and earned my fourth stripe - a prerequisite for grading - two days before grading! Talk about pushing it...

To respect and trust myself. My instructor commented that I tend to over-think, which is spot-on as I can be perfectionistic, cautious and risk-averse. For many months, I spent more time thinking about rolling than doing the actual roll. Imagine that.

To feel the fear and do it anyway.

To keep showing up and doing the do.

To let the best in me come out when under pressure. I don't always do pressure well when I'm under scrutiny. I actually lost the plot a couple of times during grading as I was focussing more on how exhausted I felt. I love being comfortable. Being sweaty, dizzy from non-stop rolls and at risk of being laughed at for my underwhelming level of fitness just made me want to shrink and become invisible.

That aside, for an ex-PE failure and gym dropout, I'm pretty proud of how far I've come.

Getting Clarity for 2013

2013-03-05T21:00:00.001+11:00

By the time I headed into the summer school holidays last year, I was so out of my routine of TCI trainings, webinars and webinar codes that I just tuned out of everything to do with TCI. Didn't even keep up with Advanced Prac assessment requirements.

It's now March and I am starting to get a much clearer picture of where I want to focus this year, even though I haven't run a single workshop yet. (Yes, I have been a bit 'relaxed'.)

Actually, the clarity process began while I was on holiday and ironically, had limited access to the Internet.

I made a list of my Big Rocks for 2013. As Stephen Covey taught, put the most important things in your life in place first (Big Rocks), then the trivial, secondary stuff.

I have a newsletter that I send to subscribers each monthly as part of my Career-Change-Confidence.com project. This year, I decided that instead of panicking every month-end about what I would send out on the 1st of the following month, I would get clear on my theme for 2013 and build my newsletters around it.

The theme came to me in one word: ENERGY.

Are you a believer in serendipity?

I am. There have been too many coincidences (I prefer 'divine appointments') in my life for me to think otherwise.

Soon after I decided that ENERGY would be my theme, I read Brendon Burchard's The Charge, and guess what the theme of the book is?

That's right. ENERGY.

Around the same time, I was also reading Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project. In it, she recommends a monthly 'new and different good thing' to take on.

Guess what was her recommendation for January?

Boost Your Energy.

I also did something else: I went back to God and basically told Him I want to serve people who share my faith and values.

So my avatar would be women who are believers, and my coaching will be based on what is consistent with biblical principles, so as to be mindful of what the Apostle Paul cautioned.

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.
Colossians 2:8

How will this affect my business? Will I be able to attract any clients?

I have yet to find out, but there is a sense of freedom and relief from being clear and being authentic about what I want to do and who I want to serve.

Ultimately, it is God who blesses and provides.

Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.
Psalm 127:1

In my devotions this week, I have also been reminded of the following verses from the Book of James, one of the most practical and hard-hitting in the New Testament about how to live in a way that pleases God.

Boasting About Tomorrow

¹³Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.

The Best Holiday Ever

2013-02-11T13:07:00.002+11:00

At the risk of sounding 夸张，I declare our recent 20 days in SG/HK the best holiday since 2006.

Why?

I always have mixed feelings about visiting SG.

I love that I can slip easily and anonymously into the "system": disappearing into a sea of Chinese faces, getting on public transport without hassles, enjoying teh si, char kway teow, claypot rice, chwee kway at any hawker centre.

This time, we were super blessed by an offer of accommodation from our very dear CG friends. Not only did it save us $$, it was the perfect way to spend time together.

We also got a treat: two nights at Holiday Inn Outram Rd and two nights at Resorts World Sentosa, thanks to Groupon.

And we got to visit with some very special friends, including a girlfriend I haven't seen since college. 25 years, imagine...

So what's not to like about SG? It's a personal thing: the unspoken undercurrents at family gatherings.

Sussing out what's the right thing to say to please and not offend, since we're the guests from overseas.

Putting on my best "parent" face, stating confidently and firmly my "family rules", as if I always know what's best for my kids, when most of the time, I'm still working it out and would love a bit more validation from my family.

Trying not to wince when the younger child is favoured over her older sibling because she happens to have a sunny, easygoing personality. I have painful memories of being sidelined as a kid because, like my firstborn, I'm reserved, take ages to warm up to people and have quite low EQ (working hard on it lah).

Trying not to get angry when mum makes baseless assumptions and well-intended but unsolicited comments about my choices, parenting style, etc etc.

Most of all, wondering how to approach the elephant-in-the-room: mum getting older, me being the only child and living in a different country.

Nothing changed this visit, except for the inevitable: kids growing up, elders slowing down and getting more noticeably frail.

So I was glad hubby had scheduled 6 nights in HK right after SG, because that was when our real holiday began.

HK is so like SG, just more crowded and more stylish. I haven't visited since I was 21, when I visited HK with mum, a cousin and my aunt. That one was a conducted tour. 'Nuff said.

This time, hubby said he was relying on me to be lead the way, since he can't speak Cantonese, and the kids can barely speak Mandarin.

I became official translator, interpreter, form-filler and negotiator.

At Ladies Street, I put on my best Canto accent and haggled over everything: silicon rubber purses that the girls wanted to buy for their friends, Chinese embroidered shoes to go with the cheongsam and gongfu outfit for their next cultural day at school, craft supplies (forgot to put in the check-in luggage and the craft scissors got confiscated at Customs - Miss B was furious), a backpack.

We bought a half kilo of Bee Cheng Hiang bak kwa for HKD184 (less than S$30) and devoured the lot, with BreadTalk bread, in our hotel room.

Best supper/breakfast ever.

We dragged ourselves through Disneyland - oh, the things we endure for our kids! The queues were 45 - 60 minutes long, the food was ex, the sun was too hot, and The Ugly Tourist popped up everywhere. Especially when queueing for popular rides/shows.

There was this mother and son behind us who kept pushing forward, even after we turned round to look at them. She even put her hand right over Miss B's, when Miss B had already planted her hand on the railing. Incredible. Finally, I engaged her in conversation (in Mandarin). She wanted to know if the ride was going to be a 刺激 one. Sigh.

If not for my kids, I would skip all the attractions that end with "Land" or "Park" or have the word "Adventure" in them.

We loved the hotels hubby had picked, esp the L'hotel at HK Island South near the airport. The smart-looking and stylish guest relations manager left us a message when we returned from our day out. When hubby called back, all the GRM wanted to know was how was our stay and was there anything he could do for us.

We gave him an honourable mention in the feedback form when we left. Hope he gets a promotion.

The L'hotel Nina et Convention Centre was posh and we loved the views from our 77th floor room.
But the customer service was conspicuously lacking. When I asked to break down a large (bank)note into smaller notes, the receptionist took my money and walked off to the other end of the counter, came back with the small notes and gave them to me. No 'hello'. No 'how can I help you?'

Then there's the MTR, HK's public train system. It's so like SG's MRT it's uncanny. Who copied whom?

Getting around by train is a breeze. All the islands are connected. Just know your station and you'll be fine. Like Disneyland, everything is said/printed in three languages: Cantonese, Mandarin, English. You're bound to find your way.

I think what I enjoyed the most - aside from dim sum and shopping - was just the sheer joy of speaking and hearing others speak in Cantonese and Mandarin everywhere. The Hongkongers are so flexible. When I ordered "char shao bao" instead of "char siu bao" at a restaurant, the manager switched to English, haha. I've also heard them fluently communicate in Mandarin with mainland visitors. And there's nothing quite so endearing as HK-accented English. Ranks right up there with Singlish.

Now to plan the next holiday...something to do with food, luxe lodgings, sights to see...a cruise methinks...

Last week of school

2012-12-10T11:14:00.001+11:00

Three days to go before the girls graduate from Grade Prep and Grade Four respectively.

I have mixed feelings.

On one hand, they've had a (trying to think of a word other than "amazing", "wonderful", "awesome) fabulous year.

The 5 yo transitioned smoothly from kinder, enjoys a social circle that expands by the day, and delighted us all around May when she learned to read independently. Over the weekend, hubby threw out the word "conversation" and she spelled it correctly (and gleefully). I'm planning on entering her for Junior Spellmasters now that Beth intends to "retire" from it.

The 10 yo is still aloof and stingy with her smiles, but lights up and shows her crazy girlish side when with her inner circle (girls only of course). Recently, she even ran for Arts Ambassador - her first foray into student leadership. I told her I'm very proud of her and that when I was her age, I didn't have the courage or vision to even think of being a leader of any kind. I'm still not convinced she's getting the academic stretching she needs though, so we'll have to keep a close eye on her progress. She's finishing up two years of Kumon Math this month and we've agreed there are better ways for her to excel at math than via Kumon.

The downside of finishing school this early?

Boredom. Sibling tension. Extra costs of entertainment. There are only so many days they can stay home and play, read, draw, make crafty projects, right?

The original plan of landscaping the backyard to make it kid-friendly has fallen through after we received a quote of $23k to install artificial grass, pavers and stones. That's the trouble with owning a big block - the backyard alone is 200 m2. Most modern houses are around 500 - 600 m2 with a big house and smallish yard. Ours is the reverse. Ah well. Back to the drawing board. Maybe a granny flat? A studio/home office?