I owe Melissa a debt of gratitude for inviting me to write on her blog today. This is the eleventh stop on the virtual book tour announcing the release of my novel, Red Planet Noir, and Melissa was kind enough to give me carte blanche to write about whatever I’d like.

Which is probably the hardest thing to write about. But I’m a big fan of her blog and writing style, and know that she’s a gamer, and as such, had my topic.

Last year, after a short eternity of resisting the urge, I gave in to temptation — the Mr. T “Night Elf Mohawk” commercials finally did me in — and joined World of Warcraft. I forked over my credit card, and the fine people at Blizzard proffered a customizable character. D.B. Grady, humble writer by day, became Basil (or something), Dwarf Hunter by night.

The game is gorgeous — overwhelming at times — with sweeping vistas and terrible beasts. My only previous experience with massively multiplayer online roleplaying games was Asheron’s Call (circa. 1999), and things have changed a bit since then.

Early on, as I feared would happen, I was hooked, drawn deeply into the world of Azeroth. I cared not only about my brave dwarf, but about the world around me. The game directed me through various tasks — kill this, raid that (all honorable quests, mind you, for I was an honorable hunter) — and I did so with simpleminded joy.

Then I met the players.

Because that’s the point of a massively multiplayer game. To interact with thousands of people at once. To adventure in fellowships, with camaraderie and loyalty and with common cause.

Only, much as in real life, everyone I met had no interest in meeting me. Perhaps it was my level. Five or ten or whatever, whereas everyone else seemed to be level 200 and astride giant tigers or bears.

“Hello!” I said.

They said nothing at all.

I waved.

They preened by, capes flapping in the wind.

But I would not be cowed. Very well, I promised myself, one day I too shall be a mighty warrior, and swagger with equally mighty fellow slayers of evil.

And so I continued my lowly quests. Computer villagers suggested things like “Kill ten goblins and I’ll give you a prize.”

So I’d kill ten goblins. I’d return for my prize, and the same character would tell me to deliver an important letter to the neighboring city for a prize. And so I delivered the important letter, for a prize. And in that city, someone would suggest I kill ten spiders, for a prize, and then ask me to deliver a package. And so on.

It soon became clear that Azeroth — this wondrous World of Warcraft — was not interested in a mighty dwarf, skilled with a battle axe and master of beasts. It wanted a mailman and day laborer.

And it wanted me to pay fifteen dollars a month for that privilege.

I gritted my teeth. Because although I have a job in real life, it rarely involves slaying spiders. So I convinced myself: “It’s okay. You can do this. Everyone’s doing it.”

Days later, I met other players. It was in a poorly-lit labyrinth filled with trolls of some sort. I did my best, hacking and slashing away at the dastardly green-skinned animals who had become a nuisance to the nearby town. So, too, were the other warriors. A thrill ran up my spine. I was living out Lord of the Rings!

And then the warriors decided I was not welcome.

“Dude,” said one, in what I have to assume was not a local Azeroth dialect, “find some other cave. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

It wasn’t that the dwarf was rude. It wasn’t that I was doing menial tasks between my (apparent) true job as employee of the Warcraft postal service. It’s that the person scolding me and shunning me and sending me into exile couldn’t have been older than ten. He’d probably never kissed a girl. He’d probably never even held hands with one.

Now I don’t pretend to be an expert at living the life of an axe-wielding dwarf. And I claim no expertise in troll slaughter. But one thing I did know — with absolute, metaphysical certainty — was that I would not pay a monthly fee to be exploited, ignored, or insulted by children. Adults? Yes. (I was in the Army.) But kids? Not a chance.

And so Basil the Dutiful Dwarf and Postman was laid to rest, and my days of spider slaying (mostly) came to an end.

Do I have regrets? I do. Somewhere in Azeroth is the wife of a brave young dwarf, waiting eagerly, hopefully, expectantly for a letter from her husband. And I won’t be there to deliver it.

–

D.B. Grady is the author of Red Planet Noir.
He can be found on the web at http://www.dbgrady.com.

Over the weekend I participated with my coworkers, friends & family in the Bay Area JDRF’s Walk to Cure Diabetes in Monterey. It was a grueling 2-mile walk along the coast at Lover’s Point – oh, the agony! Oh, the pain! Our little team of 5  fundraisers raised almost $2,000 – I can’t wait to hear how much was raised at this walk, and the other 4 walks the JDRF held over the last few weeks in the San Francisco Bay Area. See, finding a cure for Type 1 Diabetes is important to me – my sister has been living with this chronic illness for over 35 years – most of my life.

I’m proud to have been a part of this Walk – and looking forward to participating next year!

I’m sitting here in my office listening to the rain on the roof – our first big rain of the season, looking out the window into the darkness thinking “when does Daylight Savings time end this year? It’s really dark outside.” It’s funny how fast the days go by sneaking into fall & winter – dark mornings get longer and longer – I, with my internal alarm clock, have been setting my electronic one “just in case”.

For another 18 days the mornings will be staying darker just a little bit longer – and then, November 1st we will set our clocks back and get an extra hour of sleep.  Good news for those celebrating Hallowe’en or Samhain! Either an extra hour of celebration or an extra hour of sleep. Either way, I always love the day we set the clocks back, it almost feels like we get to go back in time, just a little bit.

One deep dish pie crust, cooked & cooled.
One bag frozen spinach
One large shallot
Four cloves garlic
One can artichoke hearts, drained
Six mushrooms
Two cups cheese: Muenster, Monterey Jack, or other soft cheese
Two eggs (beaten)
A little olive oil, a little butter
A little lemon zest

Cook spinach, press out as much water as you can. Let cool.
Open artichoke hearts. Rinse. Drain. Squeeze excess water out. Chop up small.
Saute the onion & garlic in the olive oil & butter. Add mushrooms, saute a little more. Let cool.
Beat eggs. Mix in cheese.
When everything is cool, mix it all together, put it in the pie crust.
Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

Cool for about 20 minutes before serving.

Looks like an interesting show – I know next to nothing about it, so no spoilers please!

Wow, 4 months gone by, just like that. So much has happened – and yet so little – and yet so much – more on that later. I’m in the middle of updating my WordPress, and then will be revamping the blog. Stay tuned!

If you know me, then you know my love for grocery stores. For some reason grocery stores have always held a fascination for me, and one of the things I love about being back in Santa Cruz is being able to shop at Shopper’s Corner, the grocery store I grew up with. Now, I’m a fairly frugal shopper, but I like what I like – so I tend to spread my shopping excursions around – I shop for meat at Shopper’s Corner, where they have a traditional butcher counter. I buy the majority of my produce at Capitola Produce, and bread comes from the Oroweat store and Gayle’s Bakery. Trader Joe’s fills in most of the rest, dairy, pasta & rice, snacks, etc. Whole Foods just opened down the street from Shopper’s, and I went in there at lunch today to see what there was to see. My first exposure to Whole Foods was in L.A. – and it’s a very nice store – albeit a little expensive. I wandered around a little bit, and it’s quite nice.  I just couldn’t bring myself to spend any money there yet, though; I had to go over to Shopper’s Corner and make sure they weren’t feeling a big pinch since the opening of Whole Foods. The butcher who gave me my $2.22 worth of Honey Baked Ham assured me that they’ve stayed as busy as ever, so I guess I can consider spreading my shopping dollars a little thinner – I think Whole Foods will be my new source for bulk spices & other bulk goods. I don’t have a regular place for that, yet.

But we’ve already had a hell of a lot of showers in February and into the beginning of March – I’m hoping March Showers are going to bring April Sunshine and a yard full of flowers and budding vegetables! I’m planning to plant some herbs – Basil, Thyme, Cilantro, Parsley, maybe some Dill? My silly broccoli is getting taller but not bigger, I’ve started some new. My carrots are finally turning into carrots, which is exciting – and I think I want to try squash again. Hopefully the snails will leave my garden alone this year, I’m going to put out some beer, I hear through the grapevine that snails get into it and can’t get out. I just have to not tell my neighbor what it is, he’d probably try to drink it.

The house has gotten a facelift – first of all, the outside walls had a bath. Thank you Steve! He also shampooed the carpet, bought me a new gas stove, installed a gently-used washer and dryer (hurray for laundry done at home!!!), did a crapton of garden prep, hedge trimming, and laying down of grass sod. All in all, it’s looking pretty damn good. Feels good, too. Aaron comes to visit for a week soon, which I can’t wait for – I’m going to take a couple days off and hopefully the weather will be nice and we’ll get out and do some things we haven’t done on previous trips.

Definitely looking forward to spring this year! It promises to be a good one.

Well, it’s been 6 months since we bowled, I have a hard time believing it, but it’s true. I did quite well my first game – I bowled 134. My second game was 101, I was happy to break 100 both times! If we’re actually going to start bowling again, I want to get my own ball. I love having my own shoes, they feel so much nicer than those gunky old bowling alley ones.

Last October or so I decided it would be a brilliant idea to plant some “winter vegetables.” I read some seed packages, and decided on broccoli and carrots. 4 months later, the carrots need thinning if they’re ever going to become carrots – maybe I’ll think to do that this weekend!

The brocolli has me all excited – this morning I noticed something new – actual broccoli! I think I’ll transplant them into the actual ground soon. Then maybe they’ll really grow!

Soon I’ll be planting herbs, I hope – planning on Thyme, Oregano, Basil, not sure what else. I love Spring! I love that it feels like Spring in February!