After you’re done checking out my photos make sure to head on over to Laurie’s blog to check out her lensbaby photos for the month of April.

And with this look, I know that she is done being photographed.

But on a bigger level is because I hated the way I look. This was thirty plus pounds ago. I want to cry at this photo and I wonder why I didn’t make a change back then. But even though I look at all my insecurities with this photo, I embrace it and love it! I let go of my own issues!

This photo means so much to me. When my daughter was this age all I did was spend time learning photography and photographing her life. I wanted so badly to get to better that the one thing i forgot to do was get in front of the camera myself. So these photos are few and far between. I love it because she’s smiling at the camera, this is extremely rare if you have followed my photography of her over the years. Also she’s grabbing my hair. She still does this now and it’s the cutest thing. When ever I hold her she plays with my hair, even more so if it’s in a pony tail. It’s something I don’t notice much anymore because she always does it but looking back on it reminds me of this trait. A trait I want to acknowledge and remember to tell her when she’s older. This is why I love photography, it captures moments in time that we can remember and it makes my heart so happy.

So no, the photo is not perfect. Yes I feel nervous about posting a photo of myself thirty pounds heavier than I am now. But I think it needs to be shared. It makes me happy to know she’ll see photos of me from her childhood. That I wasn’t the ghost behind the camera. That things we did together were documented. That those memories and moments that go by way too fast will forever be remembered.

Disclaimer: Please ignore my messy living room. Yes it only takes the morning for my girl to get it looking like that. lol

Dear Adalyn,

This month was a rough one.  Lots of sickness between the two of us and a few sad things I wish never happened.  I hope one thing you learn from me over the years is that even during a storm there is always a rainbow waiting on the other side.  You were my rainbow this month.  You were there for me in a way I never expected from a three year old.  That compassion I talked about in your previous letter shown strong and I was so amazed and proud of you.   Thank you for being there for your Mommy, thank you for being you.  The year may have started off on the wrong foot but I have high hopes that things are changing for us.  That this year is going to end up being a good one.  Those troubles that were with use the last two months will be thoughts forgotten while new beautiful memories replace them.

We are going to face many challenges and difficult things in life but know that we always have each other and Daddy to lean on.  We are a team; we will get through anything together.  We love each other and that is the most important thing in life.  I couldn’t ask for a better little family and we got through that storm and now we are on the other side.  A side filled with rainbows, love and laughter.  A good place, a happy place and it looks so promising.

So my sweet girl, always keep your head up.  Your Daddy and I will always be here for you to weather the storm.  We love you so much and are so proud of you and everything you do.  I know Mommy has started your letters a bit emotional and I promise that they will be more up beat in the coming months.  We’ve got a lot of fun memories to make this year.

Love,
Mommy
xoxo