Because if I actually saved things instead of throwing them away,  I could prove to you that my best friend Colleen and I have actually been planning to be “gay married” for more than a decade.

Of course, we don’t call it that. We just call it two best friends growing old together. She sends me greeting cards every year proving it. You’ve seen them — with the little old ladies hanging out on the porch at the nursing homes, laughing and joking about the cute pool boys and our future sagging boobs (OK, her future sagging boobs) and whatever it is little old ladies talk about when they’ve lived the better part of their lives together in some fashion.

This scenario is, of course, based on the thought that we’ve outlived any men in our lives (sorry boys, but it is a scientific probability that we will do just that) and that as our lives reach a slowing-down point, we will be content with good company, good memories, and the knowledge that there is someone there to hold your hand when times get tough.

But according to what the lovely state of North Carolina decided yesterday, there’s a glitch in our little-old-ladies-on-the-porch plan. Meaning, if I have to go to the hospital (and I will, duh, I’m old), she couldn’t make any necessary medical or financial decisions should I be unable to.

This is the girl who washed gravel out of my forehead when I let a drunk guy give me a piggy back ride up a hill when I was 20. The girl who held my hand when she got her ear pierced and I felt faint (yes, that happened.) The girl who knows the look on my face when I am going to be sick. She has rubbed my hair countless times and she would be a perfect “life
partner” should we outlive all the men.

And I think it’s pretty damn unfair that we don’t legally have that choice.

I didn’t know Capeci, although I did admire his work, so when he passed away I took notice.

I would try to describe his art, but it might be better to just show you. Here are a few of his covers, which I grabbed from this article about him:

Now, I am showing you all of that because I want to get to the real reason I’m blogging about Capeci. The whole reason I’m writing this is because of two paragraphs from a New York Times article about him.

Jon Meacham, his editor then at Newsweek, said in an interview last week that he had hired Mr. Capeci for the redesign because he was a very good magazine designer, but also because he understood and loved journalism. Mr. Capeci’s decisions, Mr. Meacham said, were always made in the service of the journalism on the page.

“Amid was a journalist who was a designer,” Mr. Meacham said. He liked the things reporters like: urgency, exclusives, working fast to remake a cover when a big story broke. “Most designers hate chaos; Amid loved chaos,” Mr. Meacham added.”

When I read those words about him, I wanted to start shouting at the article, ‘yes, yes, yes!’ – because I feel like it describes me as well. A journalist who is also a designer.  Someone who cares not only about the beauty of the design, but how the words feel on the page. What a person will experience when holding my creation in their hands. How I can make someone who intended to flip through my publication stop, take a second look, and then dive into the stories that the editors and writers have been working so hard to make happen.

The amazing thing about my new gig at Creative Loafing is getting to experience being surrounded my colleagues who not only care about the stories they are writing, but how they will look on the page. I’ve never experienced journalists who seem to notice and care so much what the design actually looks like – and it’s such a wonderful collaboration. Keep watching – even bigger things to come. We are making magic happen over here, folks.

Just like it looks like Capeci did during his career. I’m sorry to hear that he’s gone too soon.

So, Old Navy is awesome and sent me a coupon for a free dress – AND one for a friend. And I absolutely cannot pick which friend I should give it to. So I’ll make you pick for me.

Here’s the deal – we have to take a photo of ourselves in our new dresses and send it to Old Navy. So, you need to be local or at least willing to drive to South Charlotte (Blakeney) in the next week or so (I’m hoping to go on Tuesday evening, March 13) to try on dresses.

So, if you want the coupon, post a comment telling me why you want it. And I’ll do a random generator or something to pick someone … Let’s go shopping!

All photos by Ashley Avilez / PlanBreathe

A few weeks ago, Stacey and Meghan and I decided to check out a new yoga studio. Called PlanBreathe and located in Plaza Midwood, it’s a tiny brick building tucked among homes, and you might miss it if you don’t know where to look.

If you find your way there, however, you’ll be glad you did. When I first saw photos of the place online, I wondered if they were stock images because they almost looked too good to be true. Luckily, the photos are all real – including and especially the fireplace in the yoga room.

The 3 of us have attended two Friday classes and love it. The instructor, Christina, says she reads our vibes when we walk in to determine what type of class she thinks we need. I always leave feeling exactly as if I got what I needed.

So, when PlanBreathe announced they were having their official grand opening, complete with a whole entire day of yoga and massage, I was all over that. I told Meghan and Stacey and they were all over it, too. The three of us signed up immediately. It did not take a lot of arm-twisting to get Andrea, Ana, Susan and Kris to sign up as well.

Wanting to be fresh for our day of yoga, we took Friday as a rest day (I have to admit, I was really missing Christina’s class), and instead attended Thursday night’s fireside yoga class. It was my first yoga experience in front of a fireplace (unless you count the time a few months ago that I was showing my dad and my brother some yoga moves at Mia’s house in front of the fire. Kevin was doing them with me and was commenting on how hot it was. Of course, I took the opportunity to brag about Arrichion’s 102 degree temperatures.)

And wow, what an experience. Everyone should try fireside yoga at some point. Is fireside yoga even a thing? I wonder if they just happened to rent a place with a fireplace, so they thought it a good idea, or if they sought out a fireplace as a requirement because of fireside yoga. Either way, it works. The instructor and co-owner, Alicia, was amazing.

So, Saturday morning, Meghan and Stacey and Andrea and Ana and I gathered for our day of bliss. And I have to say I fell in love with the first class and the super-cute and very pregnant yoga instructor, Amani. What’s so amazing about these women is not only are they dainty and slim and graceful, but they are strong. I can feel it when they are moving me into the form that I should actually be doing, not just the one I think I should be doing. And trust me, that happens a lot – I am really no good at yoga. Why I should keep taking it, right?

Amani guides Ana through a pose.

I won’t go through every single class in detail, because I’m assuming if you weren’t there it might not be as exciting to read about. But this first class, hot yoga detox, was amazing. It was challenging and hot (not as hot as Arrichion’s hot, and I might like it a little hotter, but the fireplace heat was wonderful.)

Amani helps me do the pose correctly. From left is Meghan, me, Stacey and Andrea.

Sweating it out in downward facing dog.

Some of our group headed for the chair massages and then left to do other things after class, and the rest of us went to the second session - deep stretch, taught by Ashley, which was the perfect complement to hot yoga detox. After the second class, everyone else left except for Meghan and me. The two of us decided to take a quick break from yoga to do a chair massage, knowing they’d said we could sneak in late to the classes if we wanted. Unfortunately, the third class filled up so we lost our spots – no big deal. So, Meghan and I decided to take a break and get some lunch, come back for the 2 p.m. class.

I’m so glad we thought to ask Alicia for a food recommendation in walking distance. She told us Krazy Fish was about a block up Central, so we headed there to check it out. Amazing food. I had a lemongrass tofu roti and some chamomile tea. We headed back for the next class, which was originally to be tai chi, but because of some scheduling issues, ended up being Aikido. The instructor, Jason, was really awesome and patient with all of us, who were barely aware that Aikido was a thing. I knew the most about it, probably, because Jeff practiced it for several years, but my knowledge basically consists of him saying “pull my wrist” and then showing me how he could take me down, and/or demonstrating how to fall gracefully. Aikido seems to be one of those things that takes a long time to really get down, so we practiced a few basics and I was reminded of how ungraceful I really am. It was fun, however, running up to Meghan saying “Give me my purse, bitch” and grabbing each other’s wrists.

Susan and Kris came to the last class, fireside flow, taught by Alicia. It was the perfect class to introduce them to the studio, in my mind. The interesting part about this class was not only the live gong music, which was amazing, but also the live didgeridoo playing. I really enjoyed it.

They finished the day with a raffle, in which our group won a couple of cool things -  Kris won a “yoga therapy set” and eye mask and Stacey won 5 free yoga classes. Score.

I made it home, barely stayed awake through dinner, fell asleep sometime around 8 p.m. and woke up feeling super refreshed at 3 a.m. I went with it.

Bottom line: I won’t forget this day for a loooong time. It was so amazing on so many levels. Learning about new things, such as Aikido and didgeridoo, being surrounded by great friends and family (the super-flexible “I haven’t done yoga in a year in a half but you wouldn’t know it” Andrea is my cousin), getting to spend time with Ana, who I met for the first time yesterday and I haven’t mentioned is Creative Loafing’s new news editor (she starts a week after I do), so I have a feeling she and I are going to be great friends. And of course, having the comfort of “older” friends Stacey and Meghan and Susan, who I trust to laugh with me when I fall out of a pose and keep yoga as fun and unserious as it should be … great food, great company, and 7+ hours at a yoga studio.

Bliss to the max.

I normally wouldn’t have taken a second glance, but something about it just stopped me in my tracks.

I knew in that first moment that this was fate.

—

And so, when I contacted Creative Loafing/Charlotte about their Creative Director position, I tried something a little risky: I told them that I didn’t think I even wanted their job. That I wasn’t even in the market for a full-time position. I love MOD, I love my clients, I love working in my pajamas. But I also love Creative Loafing. Have for years. Have always thought it’d be a wonderful place to work (and of course, I really did want the job; who was I fooling?). That we all really should sit down and talk for a little while. And I also told them, in my cover letter, that I have pink hair. They’ll either love me or hate me, I thought, which is as it should be …

So, it turns out: CL and me? Like peanut butter and jelly. Chocolate and bananas. Chamomile tea and Ambien. Oh wait, I’ve said too much.

Fast forward through a whirlwind of a few weeks, and I’d now like to introduce myself as Creative Loafing’s new Creative Director. I start Monday.

Bring it on, new adventures.

I haven’t watched Biggest Loser in a long time, but when I did years ago the thing that seemed so great to me was to have a dedicated space and amount of time, one that focuses on healthy eating, exercising, getting trim.

Recently I signed up for a month of boot camp classes at Gunn’s Fitness. I’d never gone to boot camp classes before and had no clue what to expect.

And the first week, honestly, I was slightly less than impressed. The classes were so similar, in concept (strength/cardio, in circuits), to Jillian Michaels’ workouts that I pondered, “Why am I here and not just letting Jillian yell at me in my living room?”

And technically, there is some truth to that. With a mat, some hand weights and a 30-Day Shred or P90x DVD, I could get a similar workout.

The second week, however, my feelings about that started to change.  Regina Gunn, the owner and trainer, does much more than a DVD can. She corrects my form. She pushes me harder. I can’t pause her to get a sip of water or sneak in a break. She has created an environment where working hard and having fun can go hand-in-hand. We clients bond over the difficulty of what she’s telling us to do, and we push each other to go harder, faster. She times us and has us race against our times. She tells us to do 10 more reps when I didn’t think I even had one more in me, and I surprise myself by doing 10 after all.

Now, I haven’t asked her, but I’m pretty sure she won’t let us all stay at her house and have a kitchen full of healthy food only waiting for us in the morning (although I would totally participate if she did). I do know she sells Advocare products (which I know absolutely nothing about except that my friend Kim in Athens sells them, too), and she’s put together a package for a cleanse and other dietary challenges. That’s gotta be similar to being in a kitchen, guiding us toward the right food choices.

I thought I hated 6 a.m. workouts, but it turns out, I love it. I have a great, productive day after going to one of those pre-dawn sweat sessions. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, she has evening classes, and I have to admit I really miss the morning ones on those days. And I never, never would have called myself a morning person.

This morning, I completed the month of classes I bought, and I have another month to use later. I think I’ll take a break and do some P90x, then get back to the boot camp in June. One concern I have is there is no shower there, and for reasons I’ll share soon, I’m going to need a facility with a shower if I’m doing early-morning workouts. So, fingers crossed I can still get to the morning classes in June, and even if I can’t, the evening classes will still be great.

As for results, I am seeing them like crazy. I can do more pushups. My arms look more toned. I am starting to see definition in my abs. My legs are strong. My hips used to groan at me if I stretched them too much. My knees used to hurt if I sat on them for too long. Neither of those things are happening now, and I credit Gunn’s fitness and hot yoga for all of these positive changes.

So, if you want to meet Jillian Michaels in person, show up to a Gunn’s Fitness class and I bet you’ll find it’s the next best thing.

A quick tally of the results thus far: rock climbing was so much fun and such a good challenge; I can’t wait to go back. Getting up early for my 6 a.m. workouts taught me that I absolutely love getting up early. So my new routine is to get up at 4 a.m. and do an hour and a half of work before going to class. By the time class is over, I have been up for hours. I’m sleeping better at night, too. Still haven’t done Zumba yet. Hoping to get a class or two in next week, so stay tuned. And pink hair is officially the greatest thing I’ve ever done to my appearance. I have been a part of so many conversations now that started with a stranger saying “I love your hair!”

—

And now, I have one new adventure to add to the list: Warrior Dash. Meghan asked Stacey and me if we wanted to do it with her. My first thought: hell no. My second thought was of my New Years resolution, so I took a deep breath and texted back, “Why not? Count me in.”

The 3.1 mile run doesn’t scare me. The obstacles don’t really scare me, although I fully expect to be no good at them. The fire scares me. I had the perfect view of it at the finish line last year while waiting for Meghan to come across it. It’s really not a big fire. You could pretty much step over it. But I’m clumsy, and it was hot. The barbed wire doesn’t thrill me either. And on that note, the fact that I’m clumsy means these obstacles are going to be quite interesting. But the mud pit will be awesome.

I was meeting with a client recently, and we were talking about life’s adventures. She pointed out to me that she noticed I’m cautious, yet adventurous. It’s a strange combination. And she’s absolutely right. I love the idea of doing this, but I’m going to be the world’s worst when it comes to the fear part.

But who cares? It’s going to be fun. That’s all that matters. And Stacey and Meghan and I are going to dress up in matching outfits. And we’re going to jump into a big mud bath at the end.

—

And on that note, I’ll add a cryptic note here that some very exciting things are happening on the graphic design front. All because I opened myself up to an adventure I didn’t even know I was looking for. More of that to come soon, but the lesson here is to always keep your eyes open to new things.

—

So what about you? How is your year going? What new adventures are you finding?

So, the news that a Goodwill opened its doors in Ballantyne shouldn’t have appealed to me as a shopper. It makes me happy in the sense that I don’t have to drive as far to donate old items, or if I want to go looking for a Halloween costume or something, but regular, everyday shopping? No thank you.

Except, when WCNC posted on Facebook yesterday about the brand-name bargains one of their employees found at the Goodwill, I was very intrigued.

I had a little extra time between errands and a meeting yesterday, and I was driving right past it anyway. Might as well stop in, right?

Well, I and every other resident of the Charlotte area clearly had the same idea. The parking lot was full. Cars were parked along the side of the road. Cars were blocking other cars. I would have just turned around and hightailed it out of the madness right then, except a car happened to pull out of a genuine space right as I was pulling up, so I snagged it and went inside.

And oh, the mania. This is what I hate about bargain shopping, yard sales, big sales. People everywhere. Lines to the back of the store for those wanting to check out. Shopping carts blocking aisles. But my eye caught the shoe rack at the front of the store, so I made a cursury walk past.

And found two pairs of shoes that caught my eye. Both happened to be in my size. Both barely showing wear. And at $3.99 a pair, I snatched them up. It didn’t hurt that one pair was bright pink, the color of my hair.

Grabbed a basket, took a deep breath, and headed into the women’s section. I didn’t have time (or patience) to search through everything. But luckily, things were color coordinated. I want to add more blue, purple, green to my wardrobe to offset my hair, so I headed straight for those colors. I looked through the dresses and skirts, too. And I found clothes I recognized from the stores – maybe a season or two old, but not much more than that. And all in great shape. Brand names I love – Express, Limited. I loaded up my basket and headed for the dressing room.

At the end of my try-on session, I ended up with the following at the register:

= One pair of Gap low-rise curvy jeans ($4.99)
= One Banana Republic sleeveless shirt ($3,99)
= One hoodie from Aeropostale ($3.99)
= A pair of shoes from Nina ($3.99)
= A pair of shoes from Michael Shannon ($3.99)

So, just for fun, I did a quick search to see what these items are worth in the stores right now.

Gap jeans: $69.95
Banana Republic top: $69.50 on sale for $29.99 for comparable style
Aeropostale hoodie: $29.50 on sale for $14.75 for comparable style
Nina shoes: $79 on the cheap end for comparable style
Michael Shannon shoes: I did have a hard time finding these, but this site mentions they are worth $62 retail for a new pair

So, accounting for sale prices, this would be a grand total of: $255.69 + tax  in the store.

And guess what I paid? A whopping $20.95 + tax. For all this:

Goodwill shopper? I may have just been converted.

I had a little bit of an idea about what I wanted it to be in my head, and I’ve been kind of toying around with it, but I think I’m ready to make 2012 the official “yes” year.

I don’t want to steal a cheesy plot from a movie, but I can’t help but think of the movie “Yes Man” in which the guy, who constantly says no to everything, decides to say yes to anything anyone asks him and see what happens.

Now, if you know me even a little bit, you probably know that I’m not a “no” person. I say yes to crazy things probably more than most people, already. But I want to branch out even more.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to be silly enough to do things like give a hitchhiker a ride to the middle of the woods (which happens in the movie).

The things that will be the official exception to this plan will be: a) anything I can’t afford and b) anything that puts my life in danger. I think that’s fair, right?

—

I’ll have to credit Stacey and my venture into hot yoga for planting this idea in my head. Two months ago, when she invited me to take yoga with her, my initial reaction was to say “No thank you. I’m not good at yoga.” But then I thought about how my doctor said I needed to stretch more, that as a runner I’d killed my flexibility. So I told her I’d do it. Turns out, I love yoga. I’m not good at it yet, by any means, but I will be. In fact, I used the last class of my living social deal at Arrichion last night. Not to fear, though – I bought 10 more classes the other day. I cannot stay away from that place!

I had this “yes” thought in my head when I got the idea to dye my hair pink. By far, the craziest thing I’ve ever done to my hair. And I absolutely loved my hair the way it was. Tommy is an artist and a genius. But that was the problem – I’d changed it up a little over the past three years, but I was always going back to my “favorite” hair color and length. I didn’t want to get stuck in a rut – so I just went for it. Turns out, I love it! I’ve decided I’ll keep it through 2012 – I’ll use it as a reminder that branching out is not a bad thing.

I also had the thought in my head when I signed up for boot camp classes at Gunn’s Fitness. Less so about the workout (yes, it would be different, but would it be that different from things I’ve done in the past?) but more so about the commitment to be somewhere at 6 a.m.

I’ve also credited my new outlook to some work projects recently – saying yes when I think I don’t have time to take on something new. So far, they’ve all led to super postive things. And it’s served as a great reminder that the busier I am, the more productive, creative and happy I am.

—

And I most certainly had the “just say yes” thought in my head when Susan and I made plans to go indoor climbing the other day. She’s been doing it for a while, and she’s invited me along several times, and I kept saying, “Sure, I’ll try it with you at some point.”

Well, she posted a Facebook status last week that was just super inspiring – about what climbing meant to her and how she felt she’d grown so much in doing it. I knew it was time. I responded and told her we should figure out a time. We decided on Tuesday evening.

Funny thing about Tuesday evening is there is also a boot camp class, which I’d just started on Monday. And the climbing place happens to be only a 5 minute drive from the boot camp place. I knew it was a risky move, and both Jeff and Stacey advised against me doing both in the same evening, but I just couldn’t help it. The geography was just too convenient. So, boot camp at 6 (this only my second boot camp class, so I still wasn’t sure what to expect), and climbing place at 7:15 (including time to change from sweaty clothes to not-yet sweaty clothes, to drive over there, miss the turn, and circle back.)

Boot camp class: What I expected, but still a pretty tough workout. By my count, we did at least 105 pushups. Tricep pushups, pushups then leading to side plank, and pushups with weights that you had to lift into the air after each one. In addition to all the other stuff we did (pushups took a very small portion.)

Climbing wall: Did you know how much arm strength is required to climb a wall? Well, I was about to find out.

—

I walked in and was instantly amazed at the facility. Inner Peaks is huge. There are tons of walls. Tons of “boulders”. Caves and arches and all kinds of things. All with little (sometimes really little) things to hold onto or step on. It’s the largest indoor climbing gym in the Charlotte area, per their web site.

I got to watch a video about what to expect (it was really helpful, actually, as I truly had no idea what I was getting into.) I got a demonstration from the instructor about how to use the equipment. During this demonstration, I was to be Susan’s safety net – meaning, the person that controls her rope in case she falls. Uhm, what? At least the instructor, and Susan’s climbing partner and friend Justin, were at my side to make sure I was doing it right. I like Susan, really don’t want to drop her!

Then it was my turn to climb. Susan controlled my rope this time. There’s a term for this: Belayer. I started up and it was surprisingly easy to get my feet to feel steady on these small rocks. Some of the rocks had grips I could hold onto which also helped. I got about 2/3 up the wall and realized I was really high. Truthfully, I was a little nervous about the process entailed in coming down. Susan and Justin guided me through it, though, and it wasn’t only easy, but kind of fun.

We went to another wall and I watched Justin climb it using no hands. Meaning, he would put his hands flat against the wall but not grab any rocks with them. So he used only his leg strength to get up. Then it was my turn to try again. They told me to use hands, of course (didn’t have to tell me twice!). And I was climbing.

I honestly didn’t expect to make it all the way to the top. I was going to get as far as I felt comfortable getting and then I’d call it a day. The scary part really starts to come when there are rocks that seem too small to trust. I’m not putting my foot on that tiny thing! A few times, I stopped what I was doing and just looked around on the wall. At one point, I looked down at Susan (wow, she was really far away) and said, “I’m scared.” She was awesome. Gave me suggestions as to where to put my feet. Told me to trust in my leg strength – that I’m a runner, my legs can handle this. And you know what? I made it all the way to the top! Was able to tap the bar (signaling a finish line, almost) and then was led down.

I climbed to the top of the next wall, too! Two finishes.

The fourth wall I tried was tougher. There was a boulder jutting out, meaning I’d really have to rely on arm strength. I got my arms past the boulder but when it came time to trust them to hoist my legs up, my arms just started burning from the workouts I’d done. Curses, 105 pushups! So I came down. Same with the fifth wall – got most of the way up and felt the arms burning. I didn’t want to push it too hard or fall, so I listened to my body.

I also got to witness some pretty incredible techniques – Susan and Justin say they’re not experts, but I couldn’t tell by looking at them. They are able to just scramble up those walls like it’s nothing. They know different knots to tie and different bevel techniques and they’re attempting to pass different “levels” of courses on the walls. It’s all pretty amazing, actually.

We finished the evening by playing around on a boulder, low to the ground, that contained an archway where we could hang upside down. Someone who works there was vaccuuming and stopped what he was doing to show us some “fun” things to do on the arch. Swinging from the arch, I felt like I was a kid on the playground! Was so much fun. Of course, everything was fatigued by this point and my arms and legs were screaming at me.

—

I never would have tried this had I not just emptied my mind about any preconceived notions and just gone for it. I’m clumsy. I suck at balance. I’m not scared of heights, per say, but I wouldn’t say I love them, either. But I did it. And it wasn’t really that scary. In fact, it was a blast. I will definitely go back.

So, who wants to make 2012 the year of saying yes to new adventures with me? Here’s what I want to know: What’s the one thing (or 10 things) you’ve always been curious about trying but never have because you thought it wasn’t for you? And when are you going to get out there and give it a shot?

While you’re pondering that, I’m off to get my next fix of pink hair dye.

This said during the same day that I a) had committment on my mind, (namely, people who commit to things and then disappoint) and b) started a new workout journey – boot camp classes at this fitness studio.

I have to confess: yesterday was tough for me.

Here’s the deal: Amazon local was running a special – $25 for a month of unlimited boot camp classes at Gunn’s. It sounded great, with one glitch – the best timing for the classes for my schedule would be to show up at 6 a.m., three days a week. I’m not exactly a “wake up before dawn to work out” kind of person. So much so that I have even run some of my marathon training runs (not the long ones, of course) during the heat of the day in the middle of summer. I call it “a good challenge” but really it’s “I’m too lazy to get up at 5 a.m.”

So, I wanted to do the deal. But I know myself and I know a month of waking up early would require something big. So I asked three of my favorite workout partners if they’d like to join me for a month of pre-dawn madness. Two of them politely declined, citing scheduling conflicts and a lack of desire. I totally respect that and was grateful for the directness. The third friend said he’d think about it, then hemmed and hawed about it for a few days. I got a slight impression I was being blown off, so I had actually written off the deal in my mind – I was ready to move on to something else, something that someone would want to do with me. Even bought a zoomba deal with Meghan.

But then my friend came back and said he was “in”.  What a surprise! I wasn’t going to tell him nevermind, as I felt that would be rude. So if he was in, I was in. So, a month of 6 a.m. workouts – I could do this. Knowing he’d be there with me, I could do this.

He had me sign us both up while he was on the phone with me, so I bought mine first, then his. And then something weird happened – moments after I told him the deal had been bought, he started backpedaling. Saying he really needed to figure out his workout schedule and it was only $25 and maybe he was just buying it to get me off his back, etc. I was confused – I actually wasn’t on his back about doing it at all – if anything, I was simply pushing him to give me a definitive answer.  But, I chose to ignore this red flag – surely he wouldn’t have us waste $50 if he didn’t have any intention of going, right?

Wrong.

In the days that followed, I tried to ask him when he wanted to start. I started getting nonanswers again. I had originally suggested February or March. I took a look at my schedule and realized if I planned my hot yoga classes right, I could actually start on Jan. 23. When I asked him about it … I got crickets chirping. Finally, after days of asking with no response, I got a “What happened to February or March?” I responded that I’d be happy to stick to our original plan if that works better for him, but I just needed an answer of some sort – so that I could plan my workout schedule around his (which I was happy to do.) Again, I got nothing. The absolute silence about the whole thing really hurt my feelings – he would respond if I would text him about other things, but would flat-out ignore me if I asked about boot camp. What I didn’t want was to push it off until February or March only to be blown off. But I also didn’t want to start without him on January 23 if he actually did intend to do it with me, because then I would be rude to him. I just needed to know one way or the other!

A few days ago, he finally confessed his real issue: he’d just decided to sign up for a running race that was requiring a lot training. The race was mid-February, and he just wasn’t sure he’d have time to do the boot camp before then. I took a look at his training schedule and agreed with him. I asked him if it would work better for him if we started boot camp in mid-February, after the race. Again, I got no real answer, just a bunch of hemming and hawing. He told me he was training for an even bigger race in April, so I knew even as I asked the question that if I was relying on him to show up with me, I would be sadly disappointed. The truth is, if he had just told me no at the beginning, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Clearly, he should have just said no when I asked him the first time. And if he committed to me then he shouldn’t have committed to the race.

So I made one last-ditch effort: I asked him to contact Regina Gunn and ask her what she recommends. She works with runners all the time, so perhaps she’d have a suggestion for him – either “don’t do it at the same time” or “do it and I’ll cater your workout to your running schedule and make you an even better runner.” Either way, at least we’d have an answer – I was getting very frustrated by this point, as I was trying so hard to be flexible but I was feeling as if my time was being disrespected. He agreed to that and seemed happy with the solution. Finally, a conclusion.

When I texted him two days later on Friday (boot camp was to begin on Monday) to ask what Regina had said, I got a response of “I haven’t talked to anyone about anything.”

At that point, I was done. I love this friend dearly, he is one of my closest friends, but I will never again invite him to something that either a) someone else isn’t already doing with me or b) I’m not willing to do alone.

—

I give you that rant not to call this friend out (Notice I didn’t use his name. And I have lots of runner friends so don’t even try to guess.), but to give you my frame of mind come Sunday night as I prepared for the first day, alone, of boot camp. I selected my clothes for the next day. I set up the coffeepot to go off at 4 a.m. I set my alarm for 4:30, 4:45, and 5 a.m. I typed the address into the GPS. It was a 30-minute drive from my house, so I allowed 40. There would be no traffic this early, and that would get me there 10 minutes early in case I needed to fill out paperwork. By 8:30 p.m. on Sunday night, I was relaxing with a glass of chamomile tea and an ambien, prepared for a good night’s sleep so that waking up early wouldn’t be so brutal.

Dragged myself out of bed around 4:50 a.m. Everything went as planned. I even got to watch 15 minutes of the news and sip my coffee before leaving at 5:20. As predicted, no traffic. I got over to Independence Boulevard, then hit a glitch. My GPS told me I was at the place, but I didn’t see it. Checked my phone directions and noticed it was sending me somewhere different. So, I followed the phone but it was confusing as it’s not turn-by-turn and it was really foggy out and I couldn’t see street signs. I ended up driving around for 30 minutes, lost. I finally realized the issue – I’d typed in the wrong street name to the car’s GPS. I had typed Independence Boulevard, not the correct Independence Pointe Parkway.  Pulled over and corrected address. Watched the time getting closer and closer to 6 a.m.

Finally got to Independence Pointe Parkway. It was 5:56. Just in time. Except, I still couldn’t find the place. Drove up and down the whole street, looking. I honestly thought about scrapping the whole thing and just going home. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling. This whole thing had been a pain in my ass from the very beginning. But, at 6:01, I called the phone number on the web site to ask for directions. Turns out, there are two Independence Point Parkways. Uhm, ok … Of course, I was on the wrong one. She directed me to the correct one and I finally arrived at 6:15. I was late, and class had started, but Regina was awesome about sweeping me right in and getting me set up with a mat and some hand weights. I jumped right in as she called for us to do pushups.

For the next 45 minutes, I worked my ass off. I was trying to push it a little bit harder to make up for the 15 minutes I lost. Everyone else looked sweaty and tired before I even walked into the room, so it only seemed fair. One girl smiled at me as I walked in the door, making me feel welcome even as I was disrupting their workout. Everyone else seemed a little bit in their own world. Two girls sitting next to each other gave each other “five” a couple of times, and it made me wish I really wasn’t doing this alone. I can be chatty and tend to make friends easily but this was weird because they were already working out so it wasn’t as if I could turn to the guy sweating bullets and breathing heavy next to me and say, “So, been coming here long?”

So, class was good, but it was lonely.

I won’t say it was all bad, though. I had no less than 3 friends text me that morning and say “How was class? I can’t wait to hear all about it!” I gotta tell you, that feels pretty supportive.

—

This post is getting way too long for me to even go into how I lost my purse after class and couldn’t pick up my prescription because my credit card and insurance card were in said purse, and that I wondered if I’d left it at home or at boot camp or dropped it in the parking lot on my rush to get in the door and ended up finding it stuck behind the glove box in which I’d thrown it in before class. I now have one disassembled glove box which I’ve chosen not to worry about at the moment.

I also won’t go into how my family has been dealing with some stuff that have required us to step up and help someone in need of us right now, but that’s also going on, and that took up several hours of my day yesterday. The great, great part about it was that I got to spend the day babysitting my nephews with my mom while my sister and dad and brother-in-law actually stepped up to do the actual burden. So I got lucky and got to spend the day with two of the handsomest gentlemen I know. But, as Mom put it when I told her about getting lost and losing my purse, “You’ve panicked enough for one day.” After babysitting, my plans were to go home, watch some shameful reality TV (The Bachelor, of course,) and go to bed early.

—

But something kept nagging at me. There is yoga class at Gunn’s studio on Monday nights. I originally was thinking it was an either/or type of thing. No one goes to two classes a day, right? But as we were leaving class, she’d called out: “Remember, yoga tonight.”

That planted a seed. I actually texted my friend who’d bailed on me to see if he wanted to reconsider and hit up yoga. He had a work commitment so couldn’t. I mentioned it to my family and my dad said he’d take over babysitting duty with my mom if I wanted to head out to get to class. I texted Stacey to tell her I might go and she asked me to find out what it would cost for her to drop in on a class – she was interested to check out the yoga portion. She got me excited to try it myself so I could report back to her. Since class is only once a week, and my trial is only for 4 weeks, I couldn’t say no.

—

And wow, I’m so glad I went. It was totally different than any other yoga class I’ve ever attended. Only 3 students there, including myself. One of them was the girl who’d smiled at me that morning as I walked in, and she turned out to be just as nice as her first impression. She even gave me some water – I’d consumed all mine on the way to class, assuming incorrectly there’d be a water fountain in which I could fill up when I got there.

Crow. Yes, I did this! Now I just have to learn how to do it without falling after a few seconds.

 This was not the quiet, meditative yoga I’d been to in the past, nor the intense, crazy workout that hot yoga provides. This reminded me of four friends (including the teacher), hanging out in someone’s house saying “Hey, look what I can do” except one of us (the teacher) was the expert. I got lots of one-on-one instruction. I got a great workout and stretch. I got to meet three great people and hear about their days. And I was even able to do crow – first with the teacher’s help, and then on my own. Only for about 5 seconds but that’s the longest yet. And the atmosphere was so great that while I was in it I was able to say “Look, look, look I’m doing it!” and everyone in the room was super excited for me.

I texted Stacey right after, excited to tell her about it and told her she should consider coming to at least one class with me – per class, it’s insane ($20), but it might be worth it for the practice. Will only make us better at hot yoga, for sure. She was excited and said she’s going to plan to join me next Monday evening.

—

Woke up this morning feeling sore all over, in the best possible way. This is going to be a good month. And the 4:30 a.m. wakeups? I got this, even if I have to go it alone.