mellowed blues - incoherent compilation of my thoughts

i beat the computer at mahjong with a "sap sam yew"

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 02:28:00 PDT

I was bored at the office the other day, my project was overdue. My boss doesn't care if I can't do it ontime.

So I randomly Google-d for something interesting to do and I found this nice online mahjong website. I thought it was pretty cool. I mean, this is real mahjong, the 4-player kind. Not that stupid "gwailo" mahjong solitaire.

On that note, Google. Please stop registering those stupid solitaire mahjong games as mahjong. I mean, it's pretty fucked up. You Googled for mahjong, at it returns like couple of hundred sites ask you to play or download those stupid solitaire mahjong games.

Enough with that shit. Back to the main event. So I found this site which offers mahjong games, that any asshole like me could register for free.

I registered, logged in. Played a game with the bots (the downside of that site, only registered players get to play with other players. The free users, need to play with the computer). But hey, doesn't matter, I was just wasting my youth there anyways.

So I played, a couple of games. Lo and behold, I managed to beat the computer with the "sap sam yew" hand, which is like the rarest and hardest combination of winning hand in the history of mahjong. Take a look:

If you are interested in playing this game for free, please surf to: Mahjong Time. Have fun kicking the computer's ass.

i want a mercedes too, because proton perdana sucks

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:56:00 PDT

No Oil Royalty Used To Purchase 14 Mercedes E200 Official Cars, Says MB

Written by St Low

Monday, 21 July 2008

KUALA TERENGGANU, July 20 (Bernama) -- No oil royalty was used to purchase 14 Mercedes E200 Kompressors at RM3.43 million as official cars for Terengganu executive councillors and senior state government officials, according to Menteri Besar Datuk Ahmad Said. In defending the state government's decision to purchase the expensive cars to replace the Proton Perdana V6 Executive cars for the same official use, he said it was meant to save cost in the long run as the maintenance of the Proton Perdana cars was too high.

If it's not coming from oil money, maybe it's from tax money. Nice. That makes me feel a whole lot better. My hard earned tax money being used to furnish government officials with a sweet ass ride. This is just fucking great.

What about spending some of that money reduce poverty or provide better education for everyone? Welfare seems like a good idea. Reducing the burden of the people when it comes to subsidies like toll, petrol, power and utilities, seems like a good idea. According to Wikipedia, the per capita income is around RM 2075.00. It might look like a lot of money there, but let's try and break it down.

Utilities bill (water, electricity, telecom): RM 200
Rental/House loan: RM 800
Food: RM 1200 (300 per person, average family size in Malaysia, is around 4)
Transport: RM 500

That's almost RM 2500 already. That doesn't include stuff like cable TV, broadband services and such.

What about how much we are paying for education in Malaysia (eventhough I still think we have one of the cheapest education in the world, government funded ones anyways)?

I stumbled upon this website while I was look for some budgetry information for my work the other day. Maybe the cost of education is cheap, but the cost of sending your kids to school is a nightmare.

Did you know, with RM 3.43 million, we can afford to buy:

62,364 pairs of male primary school uniform (@RM55/set) OR
57,167 pairs of female primary school uniform (@RM60/set) OR
226,667 pairs of school shoes (@RM15/pair) OR
3,430,000 packets of nasi lemaks for breakfast(@RM1/packet) OR
85,750 school kids can take school bus to school (@RM40/month)

And that's just the tip of it.

"We are not saying that the national car is not good, but the reality is that in less than two years of use, the cars had to be repaired due to faulty components like the gear box.

"We are not saying that the national car is not good"? Fuck off! You are saying exactly that. But nothing to be embarassed about. I say it all the time. But these people are saying it in the wrong fucking context.

"For example, the car used by the Trade, Industry and Environment Committee chairman Toh Chin Yaw had been repaired twice costing RM50,000. But the Merdeces cars, although expensive to purchase, will incur us less maintenance cost in the long term," he explained.

Let's see. Cost of a Proton Perdana (as off today is RM 101485.05). With 3.43 million, you can buy around 34 units of Proton Perdana. Even if it breaks down after a year or 2. You can still replace them with new Perdana's and it would still be cheaper than getting a Mercedes.

Ahmad was asked by reporters about the reported purchase of the Mercedes cars, after attending a 'tahlil' function held in conjunction with the birthday of the Terengganu Sultan, Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin, at Istana Maziah here, Sunday.

The function was also attended by Terengganu Regency Advisory Council member Tengku Sri Laksamana Raja Tengku Sulaiman Sultan Ismail Nasiruddin Shah, state executive councillors and state assemblymen.

Ahmad said the purchase of the Mercedes E200 cars was financed by a sum allocated earlier by the state government and not by oil royalty.

"How could we use the oil royalty when we have not even received it from the federal government?" he said.

-- BERNAMA

I have lost faith in 'ye. Thank god, I live in KL where my politicians waste my money by taking helicopter rides instead of driving Perdana cars. It's way more economical. Right.

That's just fucking great.

top 10 most annoying alarm clocks

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:45:00 PDT

I got this email from Alissa. Pretty amazing inventions. But I think they can do better. I've decided to add my two cents to each of these alarm clocks.

#10 - Climbing clock . It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.

It's just stupid that you have to get a ladder just to shut off you stupid alarm clock (that's the idea, I know). But here's what I suggest.

Replace the cheap plastic alarm clock with a coconut. It's cheaper.
Instead of letting the alarm clock to continue climbing while it rings, just rig it and make sure that the alarm clock raises maybe 4 to 5 feet above you, tops. Anything higher would be fatal for what I have in mind. And when it reaches the top, the alarm clock drops the coconut on you.
If you are adventurous and have a strong skull, position the coconut to drop on your head. If you call-in sick, at least you know that you are not lying to your boss. At least noone can call you a liar for saying that you have a headache because you had a coconut dropped on your noggin.
If you decided to train your abs like Van Damme did in Kickboxer, rig it so that the coconut alarm clock descends on your abs after it reaches its peak. For more information, please refer to the Youtube clip below, specifically at 3:59.
Or if you are gunning for a home made vasectomy, just make sure that the coconut drops on your nuts. (He, he. Coconuts and nuts)

# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop

Instead of making it a 4-piece puzzle, try making it into like a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle. That way, when you set your alarm clock at 6:30am, your internal biological alarm clock will tell you that you need to be up by 6:15am. Because you don't want to be listening to that stupid alarm blaring at you when you wake up and start putting that 100 piece of puzzle together.

# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.

I want this! But to make it more annoying, you should put the voice of your mom or wife or girlfriend nagging at you. Come on, I listen to profanity everyday. I dish out a fair share of cursing every day. So people cursing at me, is like Mozart to my ears. But what I find annoying is people nagging me. That would wake me the fuck up, immediately. Imagine your mom shouting at you to get you to school. Your girlfriend asking you, if you've left the toilet seat up again. I'd be annoyed to the infinite-th degree.

# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.

I like the law enforcement theme. I'd still like to stick with this theme. So what I would do is change it to prison settings. Instead of a vibrator, I'd install electric wiring under the bed, sort of like electric fence. So when it rings, it sort of sends tiny, electric current surging through my body. Instead of the police style rotating lights, I'd just install spotlights. 300-watt spotlights, like the ones they use in the guard towers. When the alarm is set off, the spotlights are automatically switch on, and shines over the bed. It's gonna be hard to stay in bed with a shitload of lights shining on you.

# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.

Looks like a underwater mine. Imagine, you stick this into a pool of water above your head (just need to find a way to hang an aquarium above your bed). When the alarm rings, it sets off the mine, and blows a shitload of water onto you. Surefire way to wake up.

# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.

This is just sick. The egg comes out of the chicken and you stick it back in the same hole? That's like plastic animal cruelty, giving the chicken an egg enema. Sick.

# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.

I'd love to get my hands on this one. I'd load it up with quotes from Full Metal Jacket, specifically from this character called Gunnery Sargent Hartman. Here are some of his famous quotes:

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"

"Today, you people are no longer maggots. Today, you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die. That's what were here for. But the Marine Corp lives forever. And that means YOU live forever."

"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

"Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk."

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand"

"Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress."

"Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut! "

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?"

"You Goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya?"

# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.

Change it hot air balloon. When it inflates to the max, it explodes. Bye bye, money.

# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.

Make sure you toss the pin out the window when you set it the night before. That way, you'll know you will need to wake up.

# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.

Alternatively, just hang your alarm clock on your dog's flea collar. When it rings, it will just freak out your dog, and it will start running amok around your house. You'd have to chase your dog just to shut it down.

petrol, its worth more than a damn diamond ring

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 05:44:00 PDT

Protesters target Malaysian fuel price hike

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) — Malaysia's government faced street demonstrations and public outrage Thursday over its decision to hike petrol prices 41 percent overnight, in a bid to curb its massive subsidies bill.

Is it me or is the opposition people always around during this kind of things.

We Malaysians are cheap bastards. Or we're just damn careful with our money.

This is fucking hilarious. Petrol station running out of petrol.

Dude: This shit is fuckin expensive.

(Source:AFP)

Opposition groups held protests in downtown Kuala Lumpur and in the northern city of Ipoh, putting further pressure on Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi who is fighting to keep his job after disastrous March elections.

And he pulled this shit on us after fucking up in the elections? Sure, his excuse "everyone else is doing it, why shouldn't we". And the Indians too.

"The effect is going to be a tremendous burden to people, especially the poor," said Democratic Action Party lawmaker Teresa Kok, one of about 100 people at the Kuala Lumpur rally.

Hell yeah. About a quarter of KL-ites are living in poverty to be exact. A family of four, living in squatters with less than RM500 income. Of course, there is the argument that if you can't afford the petrol, you shouldn't be driving. But that's sort of the intention of the government ain't it.

Think about it. The government imposes high taxes on imported cars. People can't afford fuel efficient and environmentally friendly hybrid cars. The government is forcing everyone to buy our stupid Proton cars because they make any non-Proton car damn expensive to own.

Everyone else is shouting "AFTA, AFTA", and yet we are the only one prolonging this. If every country in the region has agreed to do this, why the fuck aren't we? We are the only ones saying, "sure free trade's just great, as long as I can delay mine". Who in their fucking right mind would want to trade with us if we don't do the same for them. We want free trade from them but we don't offer them the sale deal? WTF?

Police officers and riot squads armed with batons and shields dispersed the crowd, which waved banners reading "Petrol is hiked but salaries are not".

This is a stupid reason for a riot. "Petrol is hiked by salaries are not"? Blame your fucking employers. If your boss is not giving you a salary adjustment for this, seems pretty unfair to blame the government. You should be blaming your boss. Maybe you also should be blaming yourself. Stop taking tea-breaks in the middle of day. Stop taking 3 hour lunches.

Organisers said more than 100 people attended the Ipoh rally and that more demonstrations are planned for the coming weeks.

Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar, though, criticised the "illegal" demonstrations and urged the public not to "over-react" to the price hikes.

In other words, chill out. Its inevitable. Can't expect the government not to raise petrol prices if everywhere around the world is raising theirs. It's the energy crisis fercrissakes.

But the sad part in all this is, if we are one of the top producers of petroleum in the world, why the fuck are we paying through our sphincters for petrol? Shouldn't we cater to our own people first before exporting this shit elsewhere? The government always advocate to "buy Malaysian product". Isn't petrol a Malaysian product? Why is it that, we export this shit overseas, then buy it back at a premium price? Why couldn't they sell it to us, Malaysians first, and if there's extra, sell it overseas. Basic economics ain't it?

"It is not a political issue but a national issue that we all need to try and tackle together, regarding the rise of oil and energy prices at the global level," he told reporters.

Yeah, yeah. Heard that before. *Yawn*

The new pump price for petrol will be 2.70 ringgit (0.84 dollars) and 2.58 ringgit for diesel. Petrol previously cost 1.92 ringgit, among the cheapest in Asia.

Other Asian countries don't export petrol.

Abdullah's announcement on Wednesday evening triggered chaos across the country as motorists swamped fuel stations to fill up before the measure took effect, bringing traffic to a standstill in Kuala Lumpur.

Stuck in a fucking traffic jam on my way home from work. Fuck!

The premier indicated that further increases were in the pipeline as Malaysia moves to completely abandon fuel price controls that would have cost 17.4 billion dollars this year -- about a third of the national budget.

If this is 1/3 of our national budget, where the fuck did the 2/3 go?

Motorists who turned up at petrol stations Thursday to pay sharply higher prices to fill their tanks were furious over the decision.

"We can do nothing about this government increase -- we have to buy fuel, otherwise how can we go to work?" said 56-year-old engineer K. Letchumanan.

I feel you, K. Letchumanan. Our fucking public transport is so fucking unreliable. Take the public bus for instance. There's a schedule. But the fucking drivers don't give a fuck about the schedule. How many of us has sat on the fucking bus stand for an hour waiting for a bus that is supposed to be there every 15 minutes?

Or let's say that we somehow manage to get on a bus. Fuck. Have you seen the fucking bus fatality rates these days? Every week, without fail. Some fucking bus driver will plow the stupid bus into a ditch killing some sorry ass passenger(s). Taking a bus is like strapping time bomb with a mercury fuse on your chest. No fucking way.

OK. What about the LRT system. Fuck that shit. That fucker breaks down more than an antique steam engine. You can't rely on that to get to work on time. If it dies, you can kiss your job goodbye. The fucking LRT will people probably take like 2 hours to fix that stupid problem. And most people will know, when you are stuck underground somewhere, you mobile basically has no signal. Most of the time, you can't call your boss and tell him you are stuck in the fucking tunnel.

Aminah Rahmat, a 46-year-old streetside vendor who had set up her food stall outside a petrol station, said she could already barely manage on her monthly income of less than 1,000 ringgit (300 dollars).

Why isn't she arrested? Tell me, how the hell could someone just open a roadside stall on the street just like that. It's not a lemonade stand. Don't they need some sort of permit for this?

"The government does not care for our welfare, that is why they have made such a huge fuel increase," she said.

"How can I afford to pay so much to transport my cooked food to my customers? I will go out of business."

You are wrong. The government cares about businesses. These business are called Petronas and Proton.

Bus operators said that a third of companies may have to close down and lorry firms said their rates would have to rise, in a move that will trickle down to higher prices for goods and services.

Go ahead. Close down. Buy more Protons. Then there are more cars on the street. When there are more cars in the streets, we get more traffic jams. When we are stuck in traffic jams, we use more petrol. When we use more petrol, the petrol companies make more money. And since there is demand for it, the price will never go down because there is no need for it. Nice move.

Abdullah is taking a major political risk in removing price controls as he attempts to recover from general elections that dealt the ruling coalition its worst results in half a century.

Nice way to get back on our good graces. Nice move by the ruling government indeed.

Rising prices of food and fuel were a major factor in the ballot, which has triggered repeated calls for the premier to stand down.

I would never ask him to stand down. All politicians are the same.

"It just shows Abdullah is incapable of leading the country," said senior ruling party lawmaker Mukhriz Mahathir, the son of former premier Mahathir Mohamad who has campaigned for the premier to quit.

Says the kid of the person who partially has a stake Proton and Petronas.

"He is not taking to heart the miseries that are being felt by the people when that should be something he tries to solve as a leader," Mukhriz told AFP.

Fuck off! Stop bitching and do something about it.

The stock market sank 2.4 percent as the central bank said the price hike could suppress economic growth and drive up inflation as high as 5.0 percent this year, from levels of 3.0 percent in April.

Inflation = 5%. Salary adjustment since I took the new job = 0%. Great. Just fucking great.

The ringgit currency sank, and government bonds plunged on expectations Bank Negara will raise interest rates to curb inflation, despite it stating there was no need yet for an increase.

Err.. ?? Yeah. Whatever he said.

But there was good news for Thais and Singaporeans who will now be allowed to buy fuel at border petrol stations after a recent ban was lifted in view of the subsidy cut.

Shit, we don't even have enough petrol here. Now we're sharing? WTF?

necrophiliacs beware, we are on to you

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Mon, 19 May 2008 03:57:00 PDT

Man admits desecrating corpse of 92-year-old
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
BY RUSSELL BEN-ALI
Star-Ledger Staff

A lab technician accused of sexually abusing the corpse of a 92-year-old woman inside a Teaneck hospital morgue pleaded guilty yesterday to desecration of human remains.

Kidding, right? Did someone dare him to do it or something? Jeez. It's bad enough that he's fucking a corpse, he had to choose an old wrinkly corpse? What, there aren't any young corpse for you to violate, you sick fuck? This fucker has some serious Norman Bates issues, coupled with some sexually depraved geriatric tendencies.

Anthony Merino, 25, of Manhattan faces up to seven years in prison when he is sentenced for the second-degree crime on July 11. But under a complicated plea agreement negotiated between his attorney, Savyon Grant, and the Bergen County Prosecutor's Office, Merino could file a motion to have his sentence reconsidered and be placed on five years' probation after serving 11 months, 15 days in prison. The prosecutor's office agreed not to oppose the motion, if filed.

That's some Johnny Cochran shit right there. All he got for violating someone's dead grandma was a slap on the wrist? WTF?

What's written on everyone's tombstone epitaph is not entirely true, isn't it. There is no R.I.P. when you are dead. R.I.P only will happen when you are cremated or go six-feet under with your coffin sealed for good. You are still vulnerable to being violated even when you are dead. As long as you stay, above ground or not turned into ashes, you are in danger of getting violated by some sick fuck out there.

It's just sad to think about this. I mean, you've had to watch out for muggers, rapists, killers and any regular psychos for every fucking waking moment when you are alive. And when you are dead, you've got to watch out for necrophiliacs. Fuck! This shit never ends. And then, who knows, after a couple of hundreds of years later, someone might decide to dig into your grave and start doing some archaeological carbon dating on your remains. The probing begins. I mean, look what happens to the mummies in Egypt.

And since there's no law against necrophilia, any fucker could fuck you in the ass when you are lying in the morgue, without any fear of legal repercussions.

Merino was arrested Oct. 28 when a security guard observed him engaged in sexual activity with the body of the deceased woman inside a morgue at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck. Merino was a newly employed, part-time lab tech at the hospital at the time.

Caught in the act by security guards? Maybe he wanted to get caught. Maybe it was part of the thrill. Maybe he was being adventurous that night. Maybe he was being extra kinky.

It's a part time job? What's his other job? Embalmer? Morgue attendant? Undertaker? Mortician?

I bet that sick fuck took the job because of the fringe benefit of being able to fuck all the corpse he wants, and get paid for it. I bet this fucker couldn't get girls in real life, he had to resort to fucking dead grandmas. Sick fucking loser.

At a hearing in Bergen County Superior Court yesterday, Merino admitted to the desecration.

Can he deny it? His cock was inside the corpse? His pants was down ain't it?

As part of his plea, Merino agreed to undergo a full psychological evaluation and will be prohibited from working at a hospital, morgue, cemetery or anywhere else where he could have access to human remains.

He shouldn't even allowed to be near dying people. He might kill them just because he wanted to have sex with their corpse.

And the psychological evaluation? Probably wouldn't work. Did it do wonders for Hannibal Lector?

Merino previously turned over his laptop computer to authorities for use in his psychological evaluation and to help determine his therapeutic needs.

I bet they would have found tons of zombie pictures in this laptop.

The desecration of human re mains is not a Megan's Law offense, and Merino will not be required to register as a sex offender.

Of course. The world blows!

star wars rap

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:58:00 PDT

OMG, as I was Google-ing for something, which I forgot what it was, this morning, I happened to stumble upon this. Star Wars Rap. It's fucking hilarious. Do check it out.

Another version.

Of course, for those who are less hip, there is a Andrew Lloyd Webber type of musical for you.

Or for those like myself that get amused by stupid silly little things like monkeys scratching their butt, here's one with Yoda doing some breakdancing.

And of course, I've always had a gripe with Lucas for excluding this Dark Jedi character from both the new and old Star Wars trilogy.

Maybe the force be with you.

relay for life

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:26:00 PDT

I promised my friend Effie that I'm going to post this activity of hers on my blog. So here it is.

National Cancer Society Malaysia has organised an activity "Relay For Life" from 6pm on 31 May 08 to 10am on 1 June 08 at MSN Training Stadium Bukit Jalil.

"Relay For Life is a fun, outdoor and overnight fundraising event where teams of 10 to 15 people take turns to walk around a local oval.The event honours those whose lives have been touched by cancer.Celebrate life and create hope by joining your friends, family, cancer survivors and their carers in the common goal of defeating cancer."

Please visit the below websites for more info if you would like to know more:

http://www.relayforlife.org/relay/
http://www.relay.cancercouncil.com.au/about.html

For those who are interested please fill up the form as attached, we can either join as a group or you can form your own group with your friends.
Indeed, you may join as volunteer too.

Before I forget, I've uploaded the form to Rapidshare here

I think it's a worthy cause. Please show your support, if possible. Thanks a bunch.

chinese traditions, paper wastage

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:49:00 PDT

This stupid thought came to me the other day. I was 'celebrating' Qing Ming Festival with my family and I've noticed something. Has anyone ever thought of how much paper we waste every year, doing this kind of thing. I mean, this has to stop.

This is a stupid tradition. I mean, food offerings are one thing. I mean, you eat 'em after you finish with the prayers. But burning a life size Papier-mâché Mercedes-Benz complete with a driver inside (the driver's made of paper of course, we're not savages) is just fucking stupid. Look at the pictures I took below.

Fuck! Some of those paper offering are not even burnt. They are scattered all over the fucking cemetery. Think of the trees people. The world is becoming barren because people are just cutting down the trees for this stupid reason. The paper is not being used for anything. Fuck! So much work put into producing color papers that you just burn at the end. It's not even recycled.

And here are some facts that I found on Wikipedia, on recycling paper:

Forest preservation
Today, 90% of paper pulp is made of wood. Paper production accounts for about 43% of harvested wood, and represents 1.2% of the world's total economic output. Recycling of newsprint saves about 1 tonne of wood while recycling 1 tonne (1.1 ton) of printing or copier paper saves slightly more than 2 tonnes of wood. This is because kraft pulping requires twice as much wood since it removes lignin to produce higher quality fibers than mechanical pulping processes. Relating tonnes of paper recycled to the number of trees not cut is meaningless, since tree size varies tremendously and is the major factor in how much paper can be made from how many trees. Trees raised specifically for pulp production account for 16% of world pulp production, old growth forests 9% and second- and third- and more generation forests account for the balance. Most pulp mill operators practice reforestation to ensure a continuing supply of trees. The Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certifies paper made from trees harvested according to guidelines meant to ensure good forestry practices. It has been estimated that recycling half the world’s paper would avoid the harvesting of 20 million acres (80,000 km²) of forestland.

Energy
Energy consumption is reduced by recycling, although there is some debate concerning the actual energy savings realized. The EIA claims a 40% reduction in energy when paper is recycled versus paper made with unrecycled pulp. while the Bureau of International Recycling, BIR, claims a 64% reduction. Some calculations show that recycling one ton of newspaper saves about 4,000 KWh of electricity, although this may be too high (see comments below on unrecycled pulp). This is enough electricity to power a 3-bedroom European house for an entire year, or enough energy to heat and air-condition the average North American home for almost six months. Recycling paper to make pulp may actually consume more fossil fuels than making new pulp via the kraft process, however, since these mills generate all of their energy from burning waste wood (bark, roots) and byproduct lignin. Pulp mills producing new mechanical pulp use large amounts of energy; a very rough estimate of the electrical energy needed is 10,000 megajoules (MJ) per tonne of pulp (2500 kW·h per short ton), usually from hydroelectric generating plants. Recycling mills purchase most of their energy from local power companies, and since recycling mills tend to be in urban areas, it is likely that the electricity is generated by burning fossil fuels.

Landfill use
About 35% of municipal solid waste (before recycling) by weight is paper and paper products. Recycling 1 tonne of newspaper eliminates 3 cubic meters of landfill. Incineration of waste paper is usually preferable to landfilling since useful energy is generated. Organic materials, including paper, decompose in landfills, albeit sometimes slowly, releasing methane, a potent greenhouse gas. Many larger landfills now collect this methane for use as a biogas fuel. In highly urbanized areas, such as the northeastern US and most of Europe, land suitable for landfills is scarce and must be used carefully{citation needed}. Fortunately, it is in such areas that collection of waste paper is also most efficient.

Water and air pollution
The US EPA has found that recycling causes 35% less water pollution and 74% less air pollution.Pulp mills can be sources of both air and water pollution, especially if they are producing bleached pulp. Modern mills produce considerably less pollution than those of a few decades ago. Recycling paper decreases the demand for virgin pulp and thus reduces the overall amount of air and water pollution associated with paper manufacture. Recycled pulp can be bleached with the same chemicals used to bleach virgin pulp, but hydrogen peroxide and sodium hydrosulfite are the most common bleaching agents. Recycled pulp, or paper made from it, is known as PCF (process chlorine free) if no chlorine-containing compounds were used in the recycling process. However it should be noted that recycling mills may have polluting by-products, such as sludge. De-inking at Cross Pointe's Miami, Ohio mill results in sludge weighing 22% of the weight of wastepaper recycled.

Think of all the people resources being put into producing these color papers. The same people who work on printing these color paper can be working on printing books. At least books teach you something. Even printing Playboy magazines bring you pleasure of looking at naked plastic women.

So people, I'm boycotting this festival once and for all. ONCE AND FOR ALL. And I'm going to start campaigning (I'm no activist but I'm definitely gonna tell my mom and aunts to burn less "prayer paper") against this paper thing next year. I'm definitely for the "more food, less paper offerings" way.

If you are Chinese and your observe this tradition. Stop the insanity.

virginity for sale?

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:35:00 PDT

Loss of virginity: Woman files suit against hubby
The Borneo Post
by Jong Yee Ling

KUCHING: A school teacher has brought a civil suit against her husband claiming for a few million ringgit damages over the loss of her virginity.

Did he drop it somewhere or was it misplaced?
Husband:Dammit, I knew I should have gotten that hole in the pocket stitched. Now it's costing me fucking 3 million ringgit. Shit!

The plaintiff, about 30 years old, from Kuching, is bringing an action against her businessman husband (the first defendant), father-in-law (second defendant), and the mother-in-law (third defendant), all from Serian.

Now the husband's probably thinking "Was it me, or was it mom or dad who loss her virginity. I knew I should have turned back to the diner the other day when I sensed that something was missing on my way back. Fuck!"

It was said that the writ of summons as well as the statement of claims had been served on all three defendants.

Of course it's the first. Who in their right fucking mind would ever sue someone over this? Geez, he sweet talked you into getting in your panties. Is that crime? You were stupid enough to get con into it. Don't blame the guy. Blame yourself for picking an asshole.

What? Is this going to set some precedent to a future where women can sue men over everything? Fuck, I better get a lawyer. I think I might have accidentally grazed a girl on the thigh once when I was commuting via public transport. Does that mean she can sue me, over taking the her thigh virginity? Some women might have pressed their butt on mine while being stuck in a packed monorail. Should I be getting a lawyer and start suing the fucking women in the train and the fucking monorail company for making the damn monorail so small that people would have to press against each other?

She made a claim (from the husband) for the loss of her virginity, ‘loss of damage for humiliation’ and mental torture including harm suffered.

What humiliation? The humiliation where you got conned into giving "it" up? This is fucking bullshit. If it was consentual sex then it was fair game. You gave in, he gave it to you. Pure and simple. You can't give it and take it back, and call him a fucking asshole. He lied. Yet you got suckered into it. Do you think you are the first? Big deal, get over it. If you knew he was gonna be an asshole and you slept with him, it's your fucking fault. Not his. "Don't hate the playa, hate the game, baby".

And this "mental torture" thing, I bet you kept thinking that you gave it up too early. If you were gonna use this virginity thing as a leverage to pressure the guy into fucking marrying you, all I can say is "you are a fucking idiot". It was just a stupid move on your end. If I were you, I would have held onto the virginity so tight like a fucking fat kid with a chocolate chip sundae. "Vault it" like Colonel Sanders with the KFC "11 herbs and spices" recipe. Noone's touching the "poontang" before the nuptials.

It wasn't as if he gave your herpes or AID or something. That's a whole different argument altogether.

In addition, she was also asking for the Kancil car given to her as a gift (out of a promise) to be returned.

Kancil? Woman, if you were gonna sue, ask for his car. Why settle for a stupid Kancil?

It was reported that the vehicle, which was registered under the name of another woman, was taken back by the defendant.

Ah, the plot thickens. There is another woman. Someone definitely got played. This woman who's suing the husband is sounding more like a fucking moron every minute. She might be a 3rd person in a fucking confused triangle relationship and she got the sharp end of the shalf..literally after getting "shaft" from they guy.

Represented by Counsel Ernest Chua, the claimant is also seeking for any other reliefs as the court deems fit and proper to the suit.

Fucking laywers. They can practically sue people over anything.

She was still a university student when sometime in 2006 she met a man (now her husband) slightly younger than her.

Stupid, stupid. She got played by a younger guy. Stupid, stupid. She an educated university student to boot.

After a few months of courtship, they decided to become husband and wife in the future.

Getting hitched after a few months of dating? You've got to be kidding me? I mean come on. The guy's probably never had "it" before. And he got hooked to the first piece of ass he's had. Now he's regretting it. He's thinking, "hey there might be other vaginas out there. Why am I limiting myself to one piece of ass for the rest of my life? Plenty of ass to tap."

It was said that they had spent a night together at a hotel here.

Classy. At least it was a hotel. Not some sleezy motel. That would really suck. Pretty fucking rich for college students. Most people just do it in their dorm rooms. He's probably got a busybody for a roommate. The old "sock over the handle" trick didn't work. He came into the room anyways.

The plaintiff claimed that it was her first sexual experience with a man and she had surrendered her virginity to him that night upon the promise that the first defendant would be responsible for his act and marry her.

Husband: Baby, it's only you. I swear it's only you. I only want to commit to you, forever and ever. There will be noone else. When we get married, I'm signing over the car and house to you. I will do all the laundry. I will even do all the fucking cooking and the dishes. I will breastfeed our child. I will never ask you for a BJ but I will give you ... everytime you want it. You are my world. You complete me. I'm just a guy standing in front of a girl asking her to love him. OK enough sweet talk. Let's fuck!
Wife: Will you marry me after I give it up?
Husband: Yes honey. I love you (keeping fingers crossed). You are my everything. I will kill my parents for you (both my parents are dead anyways). Slay the fiercest dragon (they don't exist anymore, why not?). Swim across the deepest ocean (when I'm on vacation with my secretary). Let's fuck!
Wife: Awww..! So sweet!
Husband: Yeah, yeah. Let's fuck.

*Cue any Isaac Hayes songs.

She even disclosed to the first defendant before he registered their marriage that due to a surgical operation before she would not be able to conceive a child.

As they were having sex, and the husband is on the brink of an orgasm.

Wife: I'm infertile. I can't have kid. I'm as barren as a Sahara wasteland in the mid of summer.
Husband: OK, OK, ohhh (concentrating on cumming)
Wife:: Are you OK with this?
Husband: (grunting, on the brink of exploding) Yes, yes, yes, .. I'm cumming. Ahhhhhhgghh! (a few seconds later)
Wife: I'm glad that you are fine with it.
Husband: Huh? (puzzled). Yeah. You were great, honey. Now, can you hand me the tissue?

The man allegedly broke his promise a few months ago (despite the fact that they had registered as husband and wife at the end of last year but without going through the Chinese ceremony).

They signed the papers. It's official. Dumb and dumber!

It was also claimed that problems began to arise since the end of last year because the husband’s parents had interfered with the relationship.

Do I hear, "MAMA's BOY! MAMA's BOY!"

The plaintiff was told by the parents that she would not be accepted as part of the family.

Dad: Son, are you sure you want to settle with one pussy your whole life? You can't even decide what's your favorite breakfast. You got sick playing with your PS2 within a week, and they have thousands of games.
Mom: Son, she's not good enough for you. No fucking infertile whore is good enough for our family.

According to the plaintiff, the parents had also made baseless accusations against her.

Mom: I heard from the fish monger from the market, who heard it from his 3rd cousin from his mother side, who heard it from her chiropractor, who heard it from on the internet chatroom, that she used to be a hermaphrodite.

Feeling that she had been deceived and misrepresented, she filed her case in the High Court.

It was learned that apart from the civil suit, there is a possibility of criminal proceeding against the first defendant.

Looks like, she gots to be paid! She's got money on her mind, and her mind on the money.

rosie o'donell has a "mini me"

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 01:00:00 PDT

Lazy Saturday afternoon. It's raining outside. I'm sick as a dog, if indeed dogs are sick all the time. I don't know why people say sick as a dog. Well anyways, I am truly sick. But not the fatal kind, of course. If it was, I'd probably be at the hospital by now, fuck the blogging (Ah, blasphemy, I know). Let's just say, I'm suffering from something that causes me to "output at both ends, whenever I input". Nuff said.

So, me being stuck at home now, naturally, I would most definitely catchup on my DVD backlogs. And the movie that I'm watching is, wait for it, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age". I know, who would have thought. As cynical and depressing as I am, I can appreciate a good artsy movie now and then.

Overall, pretty damn good movie. I can definitely see why Cate Blanchett got nominated for an Oscar for playing the role of Elizabeth twice. But she lost out both times. Fuck.

Anyways, as I was watching the 2nd Elizabeth movie, I've noticed something very funny in the movie. In one scene, the Queen, played by Cate Blanchett had a midget sitting on her throne, like what a 'Mini Me' would do. And I couldn't help notice that that midget, mini person, looked exactly like a miniature Rosie O'Donell. Take a gander.

What do you think?

i am a nursemaid

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 07:15:00 PDT

I found this Flash personality quiz today. Pretty interesting.

Try this:

(click here to play the game on a new window)

Basically, what it does is, it asks you to answer a bunch of "this or that" type of questions and it will somehow pop up with an analysis of what kind of person you are.

I am a fucking Nursemaid, in other words, I'm a pushover. Which sucks balls because it's basically saying I'm everyone's bitch. The explanation of my personality sort of sums me up as someone who prances around the meadow singing tunes from "The sound of music".

Which, if you guys read my blog, know I definitely am not Julie Andrews.

No fair, do over.

Do share your results with me. I'm curious, what kind of sick people read my blog.

world's oldest person is in malaysia, not israel nor america

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:17:00 PST

This is something interesting I accidentally stumbled upon the other day. Fuck all the claims around the world claiming that they have world's oldest living person. I can tell you this is bullshit. Malaysia oddly enough have the world's oldest living people. Note that I said people not person. Because, it's not only one person. There's like a bunch of them.

How did I know this? My friend, whom I've decided not to name, sent me an email about this nifty online application used by the Malaysian Elections Commission. Basically, what this online application does is, that you enter your National Registration Identification Card (NRIC)number into the application, and it checks whether you are a registered voter and if you are, it basically tells you where you can cast your vote for the upcoming Malaysian 12th General Election. Pretty cool, right?

And because our NRIC number comes in a particular format, anyone with a random number generator can key in a particular sequence of number in to the website application (but adhering to the above format), it will just "spit" some information about that person.

So, someone, with a lot of time on their hands, did exactly that and found that there are a shitload of people with who are over 100 years old.

Some of the sequence of numbers that they tested were:

951114750015 950531710079 940407750023 941121750057 801018775059 800311086231 811028045577 830416610017 841207065917 851222740019 850513106435 851117106729 850802106378 850916086838 860320145365 861101105077 860208145701 860320145357 861217145011 860126145839 871205740015 870914105781 870418105790 871016146308 881231100432 881103750027 880505066047 880906087033 881030136332 891102740096 891129740088 890520610089 890112146416 890920076065 890403615016 910609755079 920622710069 890211050014

And they found a bunch of people who are born around 1180 through 1895, which would make them 113-128 years old.

Neat right?

Here's how to do it:

1. Click on the following link: http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/daftarbi.asp

2. Follow the picture:

(Click to enlarge)

That is so cool.

What makes it even cooler is that we are only discovering this so close to the General Election. I'm thinking, how the hell are these people able to lift their asses of the bed to go and vote this weekend. Even if these people are able to get there, will they be able to hold onto the marker and put a big X next to the ticket.

But truthfully, the whole point of this post is not really to expose to the world that we have a shitload of over a century year old geriatrics still running around, which I highly doubt it. Our people don't eat healthy food and we don't exercise. We die in our 80s.

What it's really about is, there might be a big possibility of a bug in your Elections Commissions computer system and how they are not doing anything about it. If these non-existent geriatrics are indeed a bug in the system, doesn't that compromise the integrity of the system?

If these so called 100-year old phantoms don't really exist in the real world, can someone manipulate that information and thus negating the whole democratic process of a fair election?

mom made daughter an internet porn star

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:33:00 PST

Mother Accused In Porn Case Involving Daughter
Mother Arrested

POSTED: 8:19 pm CST February 21, 2008
UPDATED: 8:54 pm CST February 22, 2008

OMAHA, Neb. -- An Omaha-area mother is wanted by police on allegations child abuse and three child pornography charges after she allegedly posted child pornography on Web sites featuring images of her teenage daughter.

All I can say is "WHAT THE FUCK". What kind of fucking parents would do this kind of thing to their kids? What is the fucking world coming to? What are we, animals? What's next, eating the young? Infanticide?

The Douglas County attorney filed charges against the 49-year-old woman on Thursday. Omaha police had a warrant for her arrest. She was arrested late Friday afternoon.

The woman's teenage daughter discovered photos of herself online in December 2006, while doing a Google search of her own name.

So, the daughter's also one of those lame ass vain people who like Googling themselves over the internet. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. I'm one of those lame-ass people myself.

According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project (Dec 2007 report),

47% of Internet users have searched for their own name online (22% in 2002)
53% of Internet users have searched online for information about personal and business contacts

Who knew. So many people have a similar interest. I mean, you can't be too sure these days, with rampant use of Photoshop and other "el-cheapo" digital manipulation softwares that are easily available for everyone to download (both legally and illegally); putting someone's face on a baboon's ass could be as easy as doing a simple "select, point and click".

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've done it.

What! Don't judge me, dammit.

The court affidavit said the girl discovered photos of her face morphed onto naked bodies in sexually explicit positions. The girl also said she found photos of her mother engaging in sex acts.

At least the mom did both their pictures as solo acts.

You know what's sicker than that? The mom photoshop-ed the daughter and her having incestuous sex. Ack! Sick sick sick! Unless the mom's a MILF, wait, no. NO NO NO! Erase bad thoughts. Sick sick sick!

By the way, if you are interested in learning how to Photoshop your face, or someone else's face onto a another body, here's how to do it. Pretty useful trick to learn if you've decided to do online dating and your "date" asks for a recent photo of yourself.

"It's disgusting because you think, who would ever do this to somebody? But then you find out it's your mom," said the girl, who's identified only as "Shannon."

Is it more acceptable if it's your boyfriend who did it? If you've answered yes to the question above, give Edison Chen a call. (Fuck, you got me EDC. There is no escaping you. I wanted to be above everyone-he he, who am I kidding-and not do any post on your naked gf pics, *sigh* oh well)

Shannon said she was 15 and 16 years old when the photos were taken.

Geez, couldn't mom have waited another year. I'm pretty sure by the time she's reached the consensual sex age, the punishment handed out would be less severe. Stupid cunt (bad word, kids)!

She said she recalled her mother talking pictures of her from many different angles when she visited the home of her mother and the mother's boyfriend. Shannon said she was never photographed nude.

Shannon: So I guess that's why mom was so into taking a picture of me in the toilet.

Shannon told her father about the Web site, and together they contacted police.

"My daughter brought it to my attention that she had found photographs of her mother and more importantly of herself on the Internet--nude, graphic photos. The images of her mother appear to be valid, real photos. The images of herself are not of her body; they are of her face," said Shannon's father, James, who's divorced from the mother.

You know what? I'm willing to bet (bet willing, pay up, no) a few months later, we are going to find out that mom didn't really Photoshop lil Shannon's picture and posted them onto the internet. I'm thinking those innocent looking pics might turn out to be real. I'm guessing maybe, mom and her boyfriend didn't want to pay Shannon for the nudie pics, or wasn't paying her enough, she decided to rat on her mom.

The affidavit said investigators contacted the Web site administrator and he was able to give police detailed e-mails from the suspect instructing him to post the photos.

Wait a fucking minute here. There's a website administrator? Isn't it this guys job to look at the porn and determine that they have someone underage on the porn site? Noone validates shit like this? What kind of sick fuck runs a website that allows people to post pictures of girls looking like a teenager and not even bother checking their ages first. Geez!

"There's an outstanding warrant for her arrest. We've filed a complaint charging her with child abuse as well as certain sub-sections under the child porn laws," said Steve Gabrial, deputy Douglas County attorney.

What child abuse?

The woman is charged with child abuse and child pornography charges because she allegedly placed her own child in a situation where she could be sexually exploited.

It's not like she's selling a service. Come on. Just because you see a naked girl on the net, doesn't mean that you can fuck her! You might think about it, but it's not like you are going to do it.

I'm not saying that she's right in posting altered nudie pics of her daughter online but how is that child abuse? How does one sexually exploit a picture? An altered picture nonetheless. Did mom posted lil Shannon's contact information on the website?

"How can you drive your daughter home, smile, and tell her you love her, when you're doing that to her? I don't understand it," said Shannon.

Mom: I love you so much that I've decided to share your picture with all those porno freaks, losers out there. I love you, so much. As much as a cash cow!

valentine's day post

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:43:00 PST

I've decided that since I have nothing good to say about this day, I'm going to just shut up and not say anything bad about it at all and ruin everyone's Valentine's day.

Instead of straightforward tribute that people usually post in their blog for Valentine's day, I've decided I am going to post a video instead. As cynical as I am towards life as a whole, I am an incredible sucker when it comes to romantic comedies. I just love 'em. Love em.

So I've decided to post this video from one of my favorite movie of all time, featuring Julia Stiles (she's not pretty, but I dig her, A LOT), and the late Heath Ledger. Amazing poem by Julia Stiles' character, one of my favorite poems about love.

Here goes:

And the poem goes:

I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car;

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it -- I hate the way you're always right;

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh;
even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you --
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

I consider this one of the best romantic teen comedies of all time. I strongly recommend that you watch, but of course not today. If you have someone, you should be out and not reading this. If you don't, lock yourself up in your room and wallow in self pity like the rest of us, single people.

So, I'm going to wish everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. And if you are a loser like myself, HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY. Know this, you are not alone.

happy chinese new year 2008?

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 06:48:00 PST

Chinese New Year is around the corner. Very close corners. It's in two days to be exact. So I've decided to do the cliché thing and do a post on Chinese New Year, same thing I did with X'mas.

So here are some facts about Chinese New Year that you might not have heard of, some which were swiped from Wikipedia:

People in China believe that as they enter a new year, they should drop the last year into the silence limbo of the past. Common Chinese New Year Activity includes cleaning the houses from top to bottom, purchasing new clothes, paying off debts, painting their doors and window panes, and even getting new haircuts. Traditional Chinese New Year Facts bring forth the essence of new life and new hopes.
Chinese New Year's Eve is known as Chúxī (除夕). Chu literally means "change" and xi means "Eve".
Celebrated in areas with large populations of ethnic Chinese, Chinese New Year is considered a major holiday for the Chinese and has had a strong influence on the new year celebrations of its geographic neighbours, as well as cultures with whom the Chinese have had extensive interaction. These include Koreans, Mongolians, Nepalese, Bhutanese, Vietnamese, and formerly the Japanese before 1873. In Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, Thailand, and other countries with significant Chinese populations, Chinese New Year is also celebrated, largely by overseas Chinese, but it is not part of the traditional culture of these countries.
In Canada, although Chinese New Year is not an official holiday, many ethnic Chinese hold large celebrations and Canada Post issues New Year's themed stamps in domestic and international rates.
The lunisolar Chinese calendar determines Chinese New Year dates. The Chinese Lunar Calendar is based on the cyclical dating that is governed by the track record of the new moon. As a result, the beginning of the year can fall anywhere between late January and the middle of February. A complete cycle, according to the Chinese calendar, takes sixty years and consists of five cycles of twelve years each.
In the Gregorian calendar, Chinese New Year falls on different dates each year, a date between January 21 and February 20. This means that the holiday usually falls on the second (very rarely third) new moon after the winter solstice.
Many confuse their Chinese birth-year with their Gregorian birth-year. As the Chinese New Year starts in late January to mid February, the Chinese year dates from 1 January until that day in the new Gregorian year remain unchanged from the previous Gregorian year. For example, the 1989 year of the snake began on 6 February 1989. The year 1990 is considered by some people to be the year of the horse. However, the 1989 year of the snake officially ended on 26 January 1990. This means that anyone born from January 1 to January 25, 1990 was actually born in the year of the snake rather than the year of the horse.
According to legend, in ancient China, the Nián (年) was a man-eating beast from the mountains (in other versions from under the sea), which came out every 12 months somewhere close to winter to prey on humans. The people later believed that the Nian was sensitive to loud noises and the colour red, so they scared it away with explosions, fireworks and the liberal use of the colour red. These customs led to the first New Year celebrations. Guò nián (simplified Chinese: 过年; traditional Chinese: 過年), which means to celebrate the new year, literally means the passover of the Nian.
The period around Chinese New Year is also the time of the largest human migration, when migrant workers in China, as well as overseas Chinese around the world travel home to have reunion dinners with their families on Chinese New Year's eve. More interurban trips are taken in mainland China in this 40-day period than the total population of China. This period is called Chunyun (春運 or 春运)
The Chinese value their family as they consider it as a means to keep the family blood running. So, Chinese New Year is a pretext of family reunion, where folks of the family gather for feast and acknowledge the spirits of their forefathers. Traditionally dinner is usually a feast of seafood and dumplings, symbolizing prosperity and good wishes. Chinese New Year Dish includes prawns for liveliness and pleasure, dried oysters for all things good in life, raw fish salad to usher in good luck and prosperity, dumplings boiled in water signifying a long-lost good wish for a family and Fai-hai (Angel Hair), edible hair-like seaweed to bring prosperity for the family.
Traditionally, Red envelopes or red packets (Cantonese: lai shi or lai see) (利是, 利市 or 利事); (Mandarin: 'hóng bāo' (紅包); Hokkien: 'ang pow' (POJ: âng-pau); Hakka: 'fung bao'; are passed out during the Chinese New Year's celebrations, from married couples or the elderly to unmarried juniors. It is common for adults to give red packets to children. Red packets are also known as 壓歲錢/压岁钱 (Ya Sui Qian, which was evolved from 壓祟錢/压祟钱, literally, the money used to suppress or put down the evil spirit ) during this period.
The amount of money in the red packets should be of even numbers, as odd numbers are associated with cash given during funerals (帛金 : Bai Jin). Since the number 4 is considered bad luck, because the word for four is a homophone for death, money in the red envelopes never adds up to $4.Odd and even numbers are determined by the first digit, rather than the last. Thirty and fifty, for example, are odd numbers, and are thus appropriate as funeral cash gifts.
The act of requesting for red packets is normally called (Mandarin): 討紅包, 要利是. (Cantonese):逗利是. A married person would not turn down such request as it would mean that he or she would be "out of luck" in the new year (無利是). (mellowed blues - nice info, something that every kid can use to exploit the elders)
During these 15 days of the Chinese New Year one will see superstitious or traditional cultural beliefs with meanings which can be puzzling in the eyes of those who do not celebrate this occasion. There is a customary reason that explains why everything, not just limited to decorations, are centered on the colour red. At times, gold is the accompanying colour for reasons that are already obvious. One best and common example is the red diamond-shaped posters with the character 福 (pinyin: fú), or "auspiciousness" which are displayed around the house and on doors. This sign is usually seen hanging upside down, since the Chinese word 倒 (pinyin: dǎo), or "upside down", sounds similar as 到 (pinyin: dào), or "arrive". Therefore, it symbolizes the arrival of luck, happiness, and prosperity.

As with many traditional believes, there are some dos and don'ts for Chinese New Year that everyone will need to know. Here they are:

Dos

Opening windows and/or doors is considered to bring in the good luck of the new year.
Switching on the lights for the night is considered good luck to 'scare away' ghosts and spirits of misfortune that may compromise the luck and fortune of the new year.
Sweets are eaten to ensure the consumer a "sweet" year.
It is important to have the house completely clean from top to bottom before New Year's Day for good luck in the coming year. (however, as explained below, cleaning the house after New Year's Day is frowned upon)
Some believe that what happens on the first day of the new year reflects the rest of the year to come. Asians will often gamble at the beginning of the year, hoping to get luck and prosperity.
Wearing a new pair of slippers that is bought before the new year, because it means to step on the people who gossip about you.
The night before the new year, bathe yourself in pomelo leaves and some say that you will be healthy for the rest of the new year.

Don'ts
Buying a pair of shoes is considered bad luck amongst some Chinese. The word "shoes" is a homophone for the word for "rough" in Cantonese, or "evil" in Mandarin.
Buying a pair of pants is considered bad luck. The word "pants"(kù) is a homophone for the word for "bitter"(kŭ) in Cantonese. (Although some perceive it to be positive, as the word 'pants'(fu) in Cantonese is also a homophone for the word for "wealth".)
Washing your hair is also considered to be washing away one's own luck (although modern hygienic concerns take precedence over this tradition)
Sweeping the floor is usually forbidden on the first day, as it will sweep away the good fortune and luck for the new year.
Talking about death is inappropriate for the first few days of Chinese New Year, as it is considered inauspicious as well.
Buying books is bad luck because the word for "book" is a homonym to the word "lose".
Avoid clothes in black and white, as black is a symbol of bad luck, and white is a traditional funeral colour.

And finally, since most Chinese people can't take 15 days off for Chinese New Year, my friend, Evelyn sent me a "Auspicious Day To Start Work" calendar, that I assumed was "spammed" to her by some of her friends. Basically, it outlines the best days to resume work after you Chinese New Year break based on your zodiac (if you don't know what your Chinese Zodiac is, please look it up here. Remember, you can't base your zodiac on your year of birth because your zodiac year is based on the lunar calendar, not the Gregorian calendar).

(Click to enlarge)

I forgot to mention, 2008 is the "Year of the Rat". So I want to wish all my readers a wealthy, healthy and a prosperous Mickey Mouse year. See you next year.

psa: please help find sharlinie, 5-year old girl abducted from her home

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:56:00 PST

Today marks the 3rd week little Sharlinie Mohd Nasyar has been missing, after being abducted from her home in Taman Medan, Petaling Jaya. Please click here to read the news posting on her abduction.

Here's what she looks like:

And here's what the suspected abductor looks like:

Kinda looks like Snoop Dogg, don't you think?

Anyhow, if you've seen her or have any information pertaining to her whereabouts or abduction, please contact the following numbers:

Father (Nasyar): 016-270 9096 / 016-258 3450
Police: 03 7966 2222 / 999 (or contact your nearest police station)

You can also help by creating more visibility on her abduction in your housing and work area by printing and distributing this poster.

And pray to God, that she's still alive when we find her. We don't want another Nurin Jazlin on our hands.

And if you are the ass ramming, cock sucking, douche loving, motherfucker who has her. LET HER GO! PLEASE! Just go and fuck a goat if you need some release, damnit! Here's to your dick rotting off from contracting the flesh eating disease, you sick fuck!

are men are becoming pussies? is this where we are heading?

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:15:00 PST

Is it me, or are men growing softer? Is being a more feminine man more acceptable these days. When I say these days, I mean, days where we find men doing facial with chemical exfoliation and going to spas and shit. Where men utter things like "Am I getting fat?", instead of their woman.

That's not even it. We are at an age where.. let me start from the beginning... there I was just sitting at McD the other day, while waiting to watch a "man movie" Rambo 4, and I happen to snap these (discretely, I might add):

(Click to enlarge)

Notice those "guys" (and I use the term loosely) are holding onto their girlfriends' handbags. You'd think the guy was holding onto the girlfriends' bag while she goes to the loo (which is still acceptable to me), but no. They were walking around the fucking mall like hand-in-hand, with her holding onto nothing. The guy was carry his own bag and her bag. The guy didn't even notice it. He looked like he was happy to do it. He didn't even wince or anything. Nothing. I mean, WTF?

I know this is going to piss of a lot of my women readers but this has got to stop. Men, please make it a point NOT to carry your wives or girlfriends' handbags. It's just ridiculous. You LOOK ridiculous. It's like asking Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" to put on a flannel shirt with jeans jacket with Birkenstock sandals. The atrocity!

No poontang is worth such humiliation.

With the whole women lib movement being in full force especially this year (especially with Hillary Clinton running for president), are we men doomed to be our woman's bitches for good? Women are the bosses in the relationship now. Men don't really have a say in anything anymore.

They dictate where and what we eat ("I don't want to eat there, the cook serves veal. That's animal cruelty. And he puts a lot of oil in his cooking, I'm on a diet. Let's have a salad instead"), how we sleep ("Honey, can you please switch off the air conditioner, its cold in here and I hate being in the comforter"), how we work ("Darlng, you should definitely tell your boss that he is giving you too much work"). Shit, and has anyone ever notice that when you are trying to switch lanes in a gridlock, women are the most unyielding people in the world? You move, they move. And I don't know why, this never happens with men.

Maybe because women are becoming men a lot faster than men are becoming women. Maybe all the bra burning movement in the 70s, sort of started like an underground rebellion movement by the women to emasculate men, one penis at a time. Maybe that's why moms don't want their boys to climb tree (I know some girls climb trees too). Not because its the safe thing to do. Maybe it's because it's a male thing to do. Even dads these days are trained to be more subservient to the moms. You tend to hear a lot of "Yes, dear" these days, coming from mouths of a lot of men. I've never heard that shit with my parents when I was growing up. Don't believe me? Try and eavesdrop on your married friends sometime (someone your age please), especially the ones with kids. You'll probably hear something like this:

Kid: Dad, can I dig a hole at the yard.
Dad: I don't know, son. Ask you mom.

Even dads have to ask the moms about such simple things. I don't think that the dads don't care about the kid. It's just that dads are afraid of the moms. Oops, I meant, dads respect moms opinions more these days.

Of course, the whole women lib thing, with women being more independent and strong and possessing what traditionally deemed as male qualities aren't necessary all bad.

At least now I know, when I let any of my female friends go home alone, and if they encountered some sicko pervert, they'd know how to mace the mofo. And pull the foot to groin move on them.

But these are confusing times too. Especially when you are a man. It's not easy being a man in the new millennium. A simple thing like paying for dinner is no longer a simple thing. Some women expect the guy to pay for dinner. Some women pretend that they want to pay themselves, but if you let them pay, they call you "cheap". Or some, if you don't let them pay, they get insulted. Or if you spring for dinner, they'd insist that they have to pay for dessert. Hard times ahead indeed.

The boundary of what is socially expected from each sex getting blurrier everyday. What's expected of us before might no longer be valid. Man, no longer need to the the strong and dominant person. Woman are no longer viewed as a weaker sex, physically maybe, but other than that, Women are far superior than men in many many way. At least when it comes to physical torture, we, men will probably break first. Why? Have you have period cramps? I heard its a bitch, and women have it a few days every month of their life?

They wear corsets and heels. And I know those are a bitch to wear, not that I've worn them. Yet. Women squirt out baby bowling balls from a tiny orifice, after holding it in for 9 month! I mean, come on! Nothing can compare to that.

Finally, for the ladies who are reading this. Bring a smaller bag, so that you don't get tired from carrying it, and pass it off to your man. But if you insist on your man carrying your bag, please observe the following rules:

Nothing pink
Nothing cute on or hanging onto the bag. That means no Hello Kitty
Nothing that if any of your man's friends see it would cause embarrassment to him

And men, if you are reading this. Again, try not to carry your woman's bag. Fake an old sport injury if you have to. You know the drill.

teens sticking it to the adults via "teen buzz" ringtone

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 07:55:00 PST

As I was spring cleaning today, I saw a very backdated copy of NST (local newspaper), with an article about a special ringtone, called Teen Buzz that can be only heard by kids and not adults. I thought "Damn, this is interesting". So, like a good internet junkie, I Googled for it. Found it, swiped it from some website illegally, and uploaded it to Rapidshare.

Click here to download the file.

I played it, I had no problem hearing it. I guess I'm not so old after all. Tried it on Mom, she can't hear it. I guess it works. Nice.

Brilliant, don't you think?

Oh, and please try it out. Try it on your friends. See if you or any of your friends hear anything. Do leave me a comment if you hear it or don't hear it.

P.S. You should hear a very sharp piercing sound.

malaysian mp wife admitted to ICU for botched plastic surgery

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 17:12:00 PST

Malaysia prompts draft guidelines for cosmetic surgery
Sun, Jan 20 02:16 PM

Kuala Lumpur, Jan 20 (IANS) The wife of a Malaysian MP is fighting for her life following a botched cosmetic surgery, prompting the government to plan guidelines for aesthetic medicine and surgery.

Serves you right, you vain bitch! A cheap, vain bitch, in fact. No. A stupid, cheap, vain bitch.

Stupid because she ignored the ignored the cardinal rule of medical consultation. "Reference, reference, reference". Get some testimonial from an ex-patient or something. You'd think someone would do a little background check, on their surgeon before letting these hack of doctors carve them up. This so-called plastic surgeon of hers took a 3-week correspondence course in plastic surgery. I mean, come on. A 3-week correspondence course? I can't even finish one semester of "Biology 101" in 3 months.

Cheap because, she's a Datin (look it up here if you don't know what a Datin is) ferchrissakes. Can't she afford to pay for an overseas surgery? Get one of those Extreme Makeover guys to do it, they've never fucked up, well, not that I know off. You know their work. No offense to the Malaysian medical community, but I no confidence in their (M'sian doctors) work at all.

One, the whole healthcare industry has become like a business. I sincerely don't feel like they care about their patients. They look at you like a fucking cash cow. I dare you to tell them that you have health insurance the next time you are the hospital. Tell them that you have a fever. They'd recommend that you go through the works, the CT Scans, EKGs, the blood work, the poking and probing, before telling you have a stupid flu. And if you tell them you don't have insurance, and you are paying for it yourself, they'd just give you a few pills and tell you to come back in a few days if you are not dead yet. Fucking double standard.

The other thing is, have you noticed all the doctors in the hospitals are fucking young, the older ones usually have their own practice? Walking through GH KL, is like walking through a sea of fucking Dougie Housers with a little facial hair? Geez. I'm sorry, but if I'm going to let someone cut me up, I'd prefer it if he's at least done it a few times first.

Thirdly, and finally, I just have no confidence in our education system. It's like everyone's a fucking doctor these days. How can I trust you to cut me if you can't even hold a decent conversation in English (I'm not saying I have perfect English, but at least I can hold a decent conversation without resorting to explaining things in another language. I'm not someone who's pro West btw, I have complaint about them too). Heck, even our national standard for excellence *cough* SIRIM *cough, cough* isn't even recognized by other countries. I'd take foreign grad doctor anytime over our local grad doctor, thank you very much.

Finally, Vain because when she went for plastic surgery, it's not because she needed it. She didn't get into freak accident that left her deformed like a fucking Frankenstein monster. She's not a fucking celebrity or a prostitute. She doesn't need to look good to make a living. She's just doing to satisfy her stupid vanity. Maybe that's God punishment for her. She's a multiple sin offender. Pride (the worst sin of all) and Sloth. Pride for loving herself so much and not be content with God's gift. Sloth of being a stupid fat pig who resort to surgical corrections instead of "tears and sweat" exercises to loose those stupid "spare tires" around her gut.

The ministry of health has picked up for questioning a doctor in his 30s who treated the woman. The doctor and the 44-year-old woman have not been named.

See, first mistake. Young doctor.

The woman is on a life-support machine at a private hospital and her condition is very critical, The New Straits Times said Sunday.

'All she wanted was to look good. She had an eye bag surgery, a tummy tuck and liposuction. Now she is unconscious and has been hooked to the life-support machine since last Friday,' the newspaper said.

Pray for her. Pray for it to be over soon. If you are thinking that I'm wishing that she die soon and get it over with, I'm not. Shame on you.

'We are investigating and action will be taken against the doctor if he is found not qualified to do the surgery or (if he) had performed shoddy work,' director general of health Ismail Merican said.

They need to do an investigation on someone who fucked up a surgery big time after he went to a 3-week correspondence course? That's not enough? If that's not grounds for conviction, I don't know what is.

But I doubt anything serious would happen to the guy. I mean, the lady did sought him out. It's not like he solicited her. Plus, even before the surgery, I'm pretty sure she signed a fucking waiver, which would later be used to exhonorate him anyways. It's not like he's performing the surgery without any license, he's certified isn't he? Legally, the most he'd get is probably a slap on the hand and he might loose his license to practice, big deal. He could be a lecturer at a local college. Like they say, those can't do, teach.

A plastic surgeon who declined to be named said the woman could have suffered brain damage.

Which plastic surgeon is this? The guy who cut her up, or some guy who diagnosed her? If it's the guy who cut her up, I wouldn't want my name to be in the papers either. How would it look on his resume if his only published work was to put someone in ICU?

And the brain damage bit? You sure she didn't have it before she went to see the doctor?

Merican said the ministry was coming out with guidelines on aesthetic medical practices.

To quote Jojo, "too little too late" ain't it?

'Those who want to go into such practice must have evidence-based training and procedure. We do not allow doctors who have completed a three-week correspondence programme to do aesthetic medicine and surgery,' he said.

Apparently they did.

But I don't see what's the big deal here. Just because she's the MP's wife, now, all of us are supposed to care? We are supposed to give a rat's ass because she's some big shot's wife? I'm wondering if the government would do anything if it was just some random fat woman? Nigga please.

This just shows how much we are behind the world when it comes to shit like this. Like the Chinese proverb, "Hugging the Buddha's leg at the last minute", which can be translated to "the ball gets rolling once the shit hits the fan". Shouldn't this stuff be already part of your medical law or something already? Geez, this plastic surgery shit has been around for some time already. A couple hundreds of years (who knew. I wikipedia-ed it), in fact. But in Malaysia, it's been around since the 70s. Even after being around for 30 odd years or so, we should be fucking ashamed of ourselves because we still don't really have any really concrete laws on the practice of plastic surgery. WTF!

my first psa: kam lun tai restaurant, seri petaling

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:52:00 PST

I've actually received this "notice" from Vivien about a month ago, I thought nothing of it. Read it, IM-ed everyone I know who eat there regularly or has ever eaten there, we laughed, we puked (if any), and deleted the mail. Up until last night, I received this again from Queenie (who was in another clique and not in the original spam list from Vivien). I think it's fate. I think it came back for a reason. I had to publish this in my blog. So here goes:

> From: Tony Pua
> To:
> Subject: Beware of Kum Lun Tai Restaurant
> Date: Mon, 05 November 2007 13:01:20 +0800

I write to inform everyone about the apalling experience my family and I went through last week at Kum Lun Tai Restaurant in Seri Petaling. This is quite a sad experience for me because I have been eating at Kum Lun Tai restaurants (but at another branch in Chinatown, KL) and also always buy their mooncakes for many years.

After what my family and I experience last week at Kum Lun Tai Seri Petaling, we have decide to boycott Kum Lun Tai and and to inform all our friends so that they do not fall prey to such disgusting and filthy people.

It was our first visit to the Seri Petaling Branch and We were having our lunch when my wife had to bring our young three years old daughter to the washroom. They wandered into the kitchen area accidentally when looking for the washroom, and my wife was horrified because she accidentally saw something that she wasn't supposed to see!

She saw one of the foreign waiters (a young guy, dark, wavy hair - he look more like Vietnamese or Indonesian!) spitting into one of the customer's food and another waiter (young, dark, skinny guy) putting out his cigarette butt over it before bring it out. I seriously wonder what that customer had done to deserve that! Even so, the restaurant manager was just standing by there doing nothing, according to my wife!

How totally appalling and disgusting!

But what is worse, when she recalled the incident to me, she told me that she was so shocked that she just stood there, and when the waiter notice her looking at him, he swore some bad words at her in cantonese and malay and threaten her! And he appears to speak both languages very well (or maybe only the bad words, huh?) even though he is a foreign worker! And she told me the cigarette smelt and looked funny, like it was something more 'potent' and the guys were like a bit high. My daughter was also
scared by them and she kept crying non-stop.

I believe that even though Kum Lun Tai restaurant and brand name has been around a long time, even when I was a small boy, but the standard of foreign workers that Kum Lun Tai hires is seriously bringing down their quality in terms of service, professionalism, and hygiene.

I can't believe that the restaurant manager can just stand by and do nothing when the foreign workers are doing such things. It is like they are scared to do anything to those thugs or just simply close one eye! And moreoever, they are not suppose to be smoking in the kitchen, whatever it is they are smoking because seriously, I smoke cigarettes too and my wife is familiar with cigarette smell, and she said definitely what they are smoking don't smell like regular cigarettes!

Would you eat at a restaurant where you know the food is contaminated by filth from uncouth people who don't deserve to work there nor do they even deserve a job in this country for that matter? we are really appalled and will never ever patronize Kum Lun Tai again after that experience!

Needless to say, we barely finish whatever food was on our table, having lost our appetite after what my wife and daughter went through.

Anyway, I just want to warn everyone, don't eat at Kum Lun Tai, especially the Seri Petaling Branch. If you really must eat there, watch out for the foreign waiters. They are more like a bunch of bad hats. And I'm sure you don't want to give your business to a restaurant that hires such people. You definitely don't want to end up with a stomachache, food poisoning or something worst!

Cheap labour or not, I just can't believe anybody will want to hire such people let alone bring them into the country to cause trouble! And why do people want to patronize any eating joint that hires such people!

Please forward this email to those you care about to warn them so that they don't go through the same disgusting experience.

A Concerned Consumer
Tony Pua

Legal Disclaimer: The information contained in this message may be privileged and confidential. It is intended to be read only by the individual or entity to whom it is addressed or by their designee. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are on notice that any distribution of this message, in any form, is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please immediately notify the sender and delete or destroy any copy of this message

Now that you've read it, what do you think? I guess you should believe what you want to believe. Honestly, I stay near this restaurant and I've been there once, CNY reunion dinner. Their food, sub-sub par. Their menu, not really creative (they served me "Hokkein Prawn", sort of like Hokkein Fried Noodle without the noodle, for CNY instead of the regular Butter Prawn). Not really a loss for me if they shut down.

But here are a few golden rules that I follow, when it comes to restaurants.

Don't ever go to the kitchen of your favorite restaurant. Just like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're gonna get.
If you have to pee but you have to pass through the kitchen to go to the bathroom. Hold it in. You can pee later. If you need to go #2, that's another story. Get a blindfold.
Don't be an asshole to the restaurant staff (waiters, chefs, busboys ..etc). They might accidentally drop something or leave something in your food. You wouldn't even know it. You might not even realize that you are actually gnawing on a booger filled sandwich.
Fuck reviewers or spammers (like what I just posted) or PSAs. If you've eaten there, you like the food and you haven't been sick (knock on wood) before. Go ahead. Just chow down. You don't have to listen to anyone.

Finally, if you have any PSAs, please send them to me. I will post them here.

wtf, where was i when evil dead turned into a musical?

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 06:11:00 PST

Where was I when this happened? Was I in some sort of hibernation when this happened? Was my "net-dar" (internet radar, like the much like the gay-dar) out of whack? Rosie O'Donnell was still on the View, and this was Halloween. It can't be that long ago, can it?

This is just sick. They turned a classic into a piece of shit amateur musical. And the sad part is Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell green-lighted this piece of crap. The songs suck. The cast looks stupid. What were they thinking?

What's next? Exorcist the Musical. Wait. That already happened.

Fucking hell. What's the deal with all these musicals? Can't they just leave the classics, classics? What else? Braindead the Musical? Re-Animator? Fucking hell.

My only solace is that I know Sam Raimi is making another Evil Dead movie in 2009. But please, PLEASE bring Ash Back.

Anyone think I should start an online petition just to make sure Sam Raimi doesn't fuck it up and replace the Ash character with Matt Damon or something?

Support me. Support Ash! Support Bruce Campbell!

standard workday for me

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 18:21:00 PST

Typical day at work for me.

8:45AM Arrive at work, late. Punch in. Pretend to look frustrated. Head straight to cubicle without making any eye contact until properly seated.
8:50AM Remove notebook from bag. Place notebook on table. Plug in mouse, headphone and LAN cable. Power up notebook.
8:51AM Propose to workstation by going on one knee to plug in AC adapter to power socket under workstation. Once placed AC adapter is power socket, get out from under workstation to consummate the marriage by sticking the AC adapter's 'power stick' into notebook's 'hole'.
9:00AM Log into network. Load Outlook. Click 'Send/Receive' and wait for mail to download. Leave cubicle while waiting for mail to download.
9:10AM Head to cafeteria. Get food. Look for fellow slacker. Position ass at fellow slackers' table. Force self to scarf down cold breakfast as food is not heated.
10:00AM Stroll back to cubicle. Position ass at cubicle.
10:05AMLog back onto network. Check Outlook mail. Reply if/when necessary.
10:20AM Load Hotmail and Gmail. Read and clear spam. Check for job postings from Jobstreet and JobsDB. Apply if interested. Forward to friends if applicable.
10:35AM Read news from Internet.
10:50AM Work/pretend to work/blog/day dream/stare at wall/plan weekend (if it's a Friday).
12:30PM Look for lunch buddies. Lunch. Go for "offsite" if mood strikes.
02:00PM Get back to office. Repeat step 10.
03:30PM Run to convienient store in office building to get gum before fall asleep on cubicle.
04:45PM Do some Photoshop work for Blog.
05:15PM Check weather and traffic from office window.
05:30PM Unplug everything. Shove notebook without shutting down (leave on Standby mode) and cables into bag. Punch out. Leave quietly to avoid being given the 'evil eye' for leaving on time.

Rinse and repeat, Monday through Friday.

Just like this stupid song I found on Youtube.

Anyone doing the same thing?

shit happens doctor, and patients rights in malaysia

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:10:00 PST

I snapped this on my way home from work, I was driving when I snapped this, in you are wondering why the picture looks crooked. Click to enlarge.

Which got me thinking about the guy behind the wheel. Like what kind of doctor would put that combination of car-sticker in the back of his/her car. Could he/she be a:

proctologist (colon)
I think it would be really funny if the guy's a proctologist. A really ironic play on words, don't you think. I mean, the guy deals with assholes (the rectal kind, not the human kind) all the time, a little shit here and there would be part of the job.
surgeon (any kind)
Surgeon calling patient, "Er, Mr Smith, I don't know how to tell you this, I accidentally left my forceps in you when I cut you up earlier last month. So you'll have to come in and let us take it out of you. And that probably explains why you can't lie down on your stomach properly. Oh, by the way, it turns out that we did not have to amputate your penis after all. That red rash that you had could have easily been treated with a mild shot of antibiotics" Mr Smith, "What?". Surgeon "Well, what can I say, shit happens".
veterinarian (animal)
Vet nurse, "Someone's dog just pooped on your doorstep doctor". Vet, "Well, animals can't really control their bowel, especially when they have explosive diarrhea. I guess, when you have to shit, shit happens. And nurse, please clean that shit up".

But seriously, if a doctor pulled a "Oops, my bad. Shit happens" routine on my ass, I'd kill him. Well, maybe not kill him. I'd definitely sue his sorry ass (if I'm not dead).

Since we are on the subject of crappy doctors, I've decided to Google on the subject of Patient Rights, right here in Malaysia. Here's what I found out.

RIGHT TO HEALTH CARE AND HUMANE TREATMENT
Every individual shall have access to competent health care and treatment regardless of age, sex, ethnic origin, religion, political affiliation, economic status or social class.

Health care services shall be available on the basis of clinical need regardless of the ability to pay and it shall be the responsibility of the Government to ensure that every person has access to essential health services.

Every patient shall be treated with care, consideration, respect and dignity without discrimination of any kind.

All drugs dispensed shall be of acceptable standards in terms of quality, efficacy and safety as determined by the Drug Control Authority of Malaysia.

Every individual shall have the right to prompt emergency first aid treatment from the nearest government or private medical and health facility.

Patients shall be interviewed and examined in surroundings designed to ensure reasonable privacy and shall have the right to be chaperoned during any physical examination or treatment, except in cases of emergency where such conditions may not be possible.

A child admitted to hospital shall, whenever possible, have the right to the company of a parent or guardian.

II. RIGHT TO CHOICE OF CARE
A patient have the right to a second opinion at any time.

A patient shall have the right to know the investigations conducted, the results of these investigations and a copy of the medical reports and have them explained. The patient shall also have the right to authorise in writing another health professional to obtain a copy of the same and inform him or her of what they contain.

A patient shall, whenever possible, have the right to be treated at a hospital of choice and to be referred to a consultant of choice.

A patient who has received adequate information about his or her condition during consultation shall have the right to accept or to refuse treatment.

If a patient's health professional refuses to allow another health professional to be called in, or breaches any other provisions of this charter, the patient shall have the right to discharge that health professional and seek the services of another.

III. RIGHT TO ACCEPTABLE SAFETY
Before any treatment or investigation, a patient shall have the right to a clear, concise explanation in lay terms of the proposed procedure and of any available alternative procedure. Where applicable the explanation shall incorporate information on significant risks, side-effects, or after- effects, problems relating to recuperation, likelihood of success, risks thereof, and whether the proposed procedure is to be administered by or in the presence of students. A patient may refuse any treatment or investigation.
IV. RIGHT TO ADEQUATE INFORMATION AND CONSENT

A Patient shall have the right to know the identity and professional status of the individuals providing service to the patient and to know which health professional is primarily responsible for the patient's care.

A patient shall have the right to information regarding all aspects of medication, including :

The right to adequate and understandable information on prescribed and purchased medicines.
The right to the most effective and safe medicines. Safety must be ensured by the manufacturers and by legislative control.
The right to convenient access to medicines.
The right to choose among competitive products.

All medicines shall be labelled, and shall include the international non-proprietary name (INN) of the medicine, the dosage and how often the medicine has to be taken. In addition, the patient shall be informed about medication, including the following :-

The purpose of the medicine
The possible side effects
The avoidance of any food, alcoholic beverages or other drugs
The duration necessary for any medication prescribed
The measures to be taken if a dose is forgotten or if an overdose is taken.

A patient shall have the right to an itemized account after any treatment or consultation and to have this explained.

If a patient is in hospital or any health care facility, the patient shall,unless unconscious be consulted about any decision to discharge or transfer the patient to another facility.

Where it is appropriate to a patient's condition or treatment, the patient shall be given advice about self-care, drugs administration, special precautions, which may be necessary or desirable, and the existance of special associations, facilities, aids or appliances which may be of assistance.

A patient's consent shall be required before any procedure is carried out and in the case of a minor the consent shall first be obtained from the parent or guardian. If a patient is unconscious and delay would be dangerous, a doctor is entitled to carry out any necessary treatment or operation.

A patient's consent shall be required for the inclusion of a patient in any research. The patient shall be adequately informed of the aims, methods, anticipated benefits and potential hazards of the study and the discomfort it may entail. The patient shall be informed that he or she is at liberty to abstain from participation in the study and that he or she is free to withdraw his or her consent to participation at any time. To ensure that the informed consent is not obtained under duress or from a patient in a dependent relationship to the health professional, the informed consent shall be obtained by a health professional who is not engaged in the investigation and who is completely independent of the official relationship between the patient and the health professional. In the case of a child the informed consent shall be obtained from the parent or guardian.

A patient shall have the right to have the details of the patient's condition, treatment, prognosis and all communication and other records relating to the patient's care to be treated as confidential, unless :

authorised in writing by the patient
it is undesirable on medical grounds to seek a patient's consent but it is in the patient's own interest that confidentiality should be broken.
the information is required by due legal process.
V. RIGHT TO REDRESS OF GRIEVANCES

A patient shall have access to appropriate grievance redressal mechanisms.

A patient shall have the right to seek legal advice as regards any alleged malpractice by the hospital, the hospital staff or by a doctor or other health professional.

A patient shall have the right to recover damages for injury or illness incurred or aggravated as a result of the failure of the health professional to exercise the duty and standard of care required of him or her while treating the patient.

VI. RIGHT TO PARTICIPATION AND REPRESENTATION
A patient shall have the right to participate in decision-making affecting the patient's health :

with the health professionals and personnel involved in direct healthcare:
through consumer and community representation in planning and evaluating the system of health services, the types and qualities of service and the conditions under which health services are or were delivered.
VII. RIGHT TO HEALTH EDUCATION

Every individual shall have the right to seek and obtain advice with regards to promotive, preventive and curative medicine, and rehabilitation to maintain or regain good health and a healthy lifestyle.

VIII. RIGHT TO A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT
Every individual shall have the right to an environment that is conducive to good health. This includes and extends to a healthy and safe work environment, a healthy and safe home environment, and a healthy and safe environment at the place where he gets his medical care and treatment

Source : www.mma.org.my

Who knew there's such a thing. Too bad I can't find any statistics on medical malpractice in Malaysia.

malaysian health minister admits he was caught on video having sex with a woman

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 19:43:00 PST

Chua says sorry over sex DVD
By NELSON BENJAMIN and HAMDAN RAJA ABDULLAH

SEGAMAT: Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek has admitted that he is the politician shown in the sex DVD that is being circulated in Johor.

Another politician sex tape? Oooooh...like it's something new. This is NOTHING new. Come one, Chu Mei Feng (Taiwan), Yahya Zaini (Indonesia), ring any bells? What's the big deal? But funny how this happens to surface when its election year.

He said the woman seen in the DVD was a personal friend.

Oh, god forbid it's with a non personal friend. Having sex with a personal friend makes it better than a non-personal friend? WTF? Just for fun, lets look the the definition of the word friend. According to Wordnet at Princeton, a friend is defined as:

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
We know that there's affection there, if there isn't, he won't be humping her. And he trusts her to get him off
ally: an associate who provides assistance
An associate that provides assistance in sexual relief
acquaintance: a person with whom you are acquainted;
He knows her name, I assume. Because she's a close personal friend, like a masseuse, or a barber.
supporter: a person who backs a politician or a team etc.
Back, front, top, bottom. Whats the difference? She's taking one for the team.
a member of the Religious Society of Friends founded by George Fox (the Friends have never called themselves Quakers)
Probably not this definition, unless she feeds him Quaker oats to relieve his constipation problem

In a press conference yesterday, Dr Chua said: “Who did it and why is obvious – but it is not important now. What is most important is that my family, wife and children have personally accepted my apology.”

He's saying it like he knows who made the video. Maybe he knows. Maybe he doesn't. So what. What's important is damage control. Fuck the wife and kids.

Dr Chua flanked by Tenang assemblyman Datuk Sulaiman Taha (left) and Tan speaking to reporters at the press conference held at the Labis MCA office Tuesday.

Him and his pussy posse.

His wife Datin Seri Wong Sek Hin said later in a statement that she and the family would stand by him. Dr Chua, who is MCA vice-president and Labis MP, said he would not be resigning over the sex DVD but would let the Prime Minister decide on the matter.

What else do you expect the wife to say? I mean, we all know she won't divorce his stupid ass and forgo the fucking millions she's entitled to for being the wife of a minister. Fucking politicians are all the same. They'd probably have more skeletons in their closet than the fucking killing fields. A smart politician wife is a tolerant wife. A smart politician wife is someone who'll keep quiet and pretend everything is alright even know she knows otherwise. Look at Hillary Clinton. She kept her cool when her husband was caught getting blowjobs from interns. Now she's running for president.

“I have seen Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and MCA president Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting and I have personally apologised to them,” he said, reading from a one-page statement.

So what. The damage is already done to the party.

He also apologised to Malaysians, his supporters and colleagues.

I don't really care. He's done nothing for me. I can excuse the sexual discretions but not the stupidity of getting himself caught on video.

Dr Chua said he did not record the video clip.

Of course he didn't. If he did, noone would know it was him. It's going to be on 'penis-cam' (first person) like Pam and Tommy Lee's video. You'll probably see the cock going into and out of orifices of the female companion and nothing else. Just closeup shot.

“I saw the DVD on Sunday when a friend gave a copy to me,” he said. He said he was unsure whether the clips were recent or old.

I think he was misquoted. I think this conversation probably took place:

Friend: Dude, check out this DVD I found at the pasar malam (that's night market for you, my non-Malaysian friends). This dude looks kinda like you.
Chua Soi Lek(CSL): Firstly, why the fuck are you buying porn from the pasar malam when you know fully well that you could download that shit for free over the internet. And secondly, what dude that looks like me?
Friend: This guy. This sex tape guy. He looks kinda like you.
CSL: Pop that shit into the DVD, nigga. Don't keep a brutha waiting. Show me.
Friend: (pops DVD into the player, and said) This dude, dude.
CSL: Fuck.
Friend: That's you, right? That's you face right there?
CSL: Yes.
Friend: Pretty good performance, for an old guy. You gave yourself some prescription blue pills? A little medicinal assist eh? You are a doctor after all.
CSL: Fuck you. That hard on is all me alright? None of that Viagra shit. Plus, you saw her right? Schhhwwwiing! If she lives in the prehistoric times, she'll be called Babe-a-saurus Rex. Schhhwwwiing! Schhhwwwiing!
Friend: ...
CSL: I mean, look at her. Look at my wife. No fucking brainer.
Friend: But they caught you.
CSL: Fuck it. I'm going to rock out with my cock out!

Well, he can't do much anyways. It's his stupid face on the video. Maybe he should have taken the "I fucked her, but I didn't enjoyed it" route, sort of like a play on Clinton's "smoked but didn't inhale".

And check out his quote earlier, "He said he was unsure whether the clips were recent or old". How many fucking times has he done this? My god. What a stupid fuck, he's admitted to several other extramarital encounters and filming them too.

Asked about his political future, Dr Chua said: “I leave it to party members, leaders and the Malaysian public to be the judge. It's not for me to speculate.”

What else can he do right? Sit and wait.

Dr Chua, who was clad in a yellow batik shirt, said he met with Abdullah on Monday.

Asked about what had transpired and the reactions from Abdullah, Najib and Ong, he said it was better to get the reactions from them as he could not comment on their behalf.

Najib, Abdullah, Ong (behind closed doors): Hi-5 dude. High 5. What are you on?
Abdullah: Yes, seriously dude, what are you on? I mean, how the fuck did you manage to keep it up for hours? Help a brutha out, the missus is complaining.

On his next course of action, Dr Chua said: “I will think about it after meeting the press.”

CSL: Hmm, maybe I can add it to my resume when they are forced to sack me.

He said that although so far no police report had been lodged, the Inspector General of Police himself has initiated investigations.

“Of course, as a responsible citizen I will assist in the police investigations. It is a crime to intrude into people’s privacy or into a person’s room,” he said.

The Inspector General's probably thinking, "I better nab that sum-bitch before he turns up with my sex tape".

Dr Chua said it would be business as usual for him. He had earlier attended a function at the Segamat hospital before holding the press conference at 4.10pm.

A little meet and greet, to show everyone that even with his sex addiction, he's can still perform the duties of a minister.

Also present at the packed press conference were about 100 supporters and leaders, including state MCA deputy liaison chief Tan Kok Hong, Pulai Sebatang assemblyman Datuk Tee Siew Kiong, Senai Assemblyman Chun Yoon Fook and Pengkalan Rinting assemblyman Low Teh Hian.

Him and his pussy posse hard at work. Admirable.

After the press conference, Dr Chua left for Bekok to meet with the Indian community there. “I will not let people tarnish, prevent and stop me from carrying the duties entrusted to me as a minister, MP and party leader,” he said.

He thanked his colleagues, supporters and Malaysians for their concern and support which he had received through phone calls and SMSes.

Asked how his family was coping, Dr Chua appealed to the press to give him and his family space during this difficult time.

CSL: Stop fucking digging. My wife doesn't have a sex tape damnit. I don't even like to have sex with my wife. Let alone, film us together. Eww.

I saw the this on the Sun newspaper today.

I guess Neo is no longer the One.

another week wasted at home. thank you, god of procrastination

noreply@blogger.com (mellowed blues) — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 18:01:00 PST

Shit! I haven't posted in a week. Been procrastinating a lot the past week, as I was clearing my residual annual leave. Took a couple of days off. But since it was a long week, I've decided to set a few goals for myself. They are:

Goal 1: Get replacement IC - Done
I've been wanting to do this for the longest time. My MyCard crapped out on me. It turns out that you can't do shit at banks when they can't read the fucking chip on the card. And when you want to open a new account at the bank, they need to be able to read the chip so that they can validate that you are who you are against the National Registration Department's (NRD) database. Ain't that a bitch? Well, went in, paid RM10, took a picture and came out within 30 minutes. The only problem is, both the NRD staff I spoke to with (sounds weird), told me two 2 different ETA on when I was able to pick up my new card. Fuck!

Goal 2: Visit the Eye on Malaysia - Procrastinated
I actually planned to go to the Eye yesterday (30th), because I thought I could squeeze it in the last minute, and the fact that noone could go with me any other day last week. So what happened was I was supposed to pick someone up at 6PM last nite (she wanted to catch the night sights on the Eye, go figure), but I woke up with a splitting headache. Had to cancel. Fuck. Can't go today either because of road closures. Even if the roads are not closed, I hate the fucking crowd.

Goal 3: Renew my passport - Procrastinated
I think my company is sending me to Singapore sometime in February, for like a week, for training. So I thought, since I'm off this week I might as well get my passport renewed (expired as off last year), so that I don't have to do it coming Feb. But mom said something to me that really clicked in my head. If I renewed it now, I would lose a month on the passport because I'm paying for annual renewal. Why am I paying for January if I'm only traveling in February? Sounded good to me, I guess I'll see them in February then.

Goal 4: Checkout gym membership fee at gym near my house - Done
Went to MyFitness (a stupid name for a gym) and checked out their package. A little pricey but seems reasonable, so I'm considering it. All I need now is the motivation to go to the gym. Told the consultant there I'll get back to him. Doubt I would.

Goal 5: Tell someone about something - Procrastinated
Can't. That person went on vacation the whole week. Should have done it earlier. So it has to be next year.

And since this is my last post for 2007, I want to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2008 bring you much health and wealth.