Memoirs of a Mommy

A Plea for Help

2010-02-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

Two and a half years ago, my life was forever changed.

Someone I didn't know, chose to donate their loved one's organs and in the process, saved my son's life. Because of their selfless act, Noah has the opportunity to experience life and I've been given more time with my baby.

But even before Noah was born, I have always been insistent that I was going to be an organ donor. I have always felt that it was the ultimate act of kindness. That no matter how I died, I could do it saving someone's life.

Since then, I have realized that you don't have to wait until you die to save someone's life. And that is what I want to share with you today. You see, a little over a year ago I came across a blog called Living in Grace. It's written by a woman named Kelli who is in desperate need of a new kidney.

Kelli is the married mom of two and in Stage 5 kidney failure. She began dialysis in 5/06 and was listed at Porter Adventist Hospital in Denver to wait for a cadaver donor transplant in 3/07.

Since then, it has been determined that she can't have a cadaver kidney and will need a living kidney donor, so she began the process of being approved into the transplant program at OHSU in Portland, OR last January. Kelli and her entire family moved to Oregon to facilitate the process.

A few weeks ago, she finally got accepted and the hospital has begun testing possible donors.

Did you know that you don't have to have two kidneys to live? You only need one. And I believe with all of my heart that the purpose behind us having two is so that we can give one to someone in need. Maybe you could even consider giving one to Kelli. Consider being her hero and giving her more time with her children.

The ultimate gift. The gift of life.

If by chance you are interested in being tested to see if you are a match for Kelli, or someone you know might be, here is some information about the living donor process:

She is listed with OHSU in Portland, OR. You can email her at jkbach@comcast.net and she will get you the contact info you need.
She needs a donor with the A or O blood type. If you don't know your blood type, they will have you get tested.
All medical costs are billed directly back to OHSU where her insurance covers 100% of all incurred costs. This allows the donor candidate to have all testing up to the end done at their local hospital or Dr. office at no charge to them.
Pre-screening involves an over the phone health questionnaire, then a simple blood test where her blood and the possible donor's are combined and cross-matched. If that is ok, then they will have a series of tests done locally (to the donor) and billed directly to her insurance.
All this will lead up to a scheduled date for everyone to meet in Portland for transplant. The process, from the time a suitable candidate is found, is about 3 months to the actual surgery.
Fundraising is currently under way for all costs not covered by insurance (all non-medical). This includes things like travel and lodging for the donor, her housing and support for the month or more she is required to stay in Portland after surgery, etc.

I know this isn't an easy decision to make. And if you decide you are not in a position to be able to be a living donor I hope that you will still consider helping Kelli in her quest. Help her spread the word or maybe even donate to her fund raising efforts. Someone out there is a match and can give this woman back her life. Can give her children one more day with their mom.

Maybe it's you.

Much Love,

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Pathetic Side of Pop Culture

2010-01-29T22:47:00.000-07:00

Even if you don't read the entertainment magazines or watch the entertainment related shows, it's still hard to miss the lastest "scandle" about Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston. It's really quite pathetic.

I'm not saying that I've never bought myself a People magazine. I totally have. But enough is enough. Brad and Jennifer broke up how long ago? Does anyone really believe the stories that Brad has left Angelina and gotten back together with Jen and that Jen even took him back for that matter? It all seems a bit much to me.

And then, tonight, I saw the most recent People magazine and on the cover is Jennifer Aniston with the headline "5 years since Brad" (or something like that). Ummm, really? Is this woman really defined by one single relationship that didn't work out?

I just don't get it.

I'm just glad that I'm not branded and only remembered because of my past relationships. There is a reason they didn't work out and I'm glad I don't have to be reminded of it at every grocery store register.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

P.S. Not that I care, but if Angelina and Brad do break-up I wouldn't be surprised. Regardless of how committed you are, I think it's pretty selfish to think that you don't need fidelity in a relationship.

A Sign of Relief

2010-01-28T21:19:00.002-07:00

Noah's recent appointment with a Geneticist resulted in an additional worry for me. Instead of his CHD being thought of as a fluke, it became a bit more understood as an inherited defect. I feared not only for Lilly but for my future children.

Today, some of that fear was resolved.

Lilly and I took a trip up to Primary Children's Hospital to have our own ECHO's and Cardiology appointments. And since I'm writing this without a whole bunch of cuss words, you can probably guess how well it turned out.

Lilly and I both were given the all clear. I have a few troublesome heart health issues to work on but I am taking control and fixing it. The anatomy of my heart is fine though. But the best news ever... Lilly's heart is perfect! I was elated!

And she was such a good girl. We sang songs and played tickle games while we waited (we were there over 4 hours). She stayed super still during her ECHO and was very sweet. She was thrilled with the little token gifts she got and the doll the nurse gave her... she even loves the blanket she got during the ECHO that is red (her favorite color). I think it's so nice that the Children's Hospital works very hard to help the kids ave a good experience and not be frightened.

The only downside of the entire thing was having to wake up at 5:30 in the morning. I know some people just do that every day but I am NOT one of them. I consider Lilly to be an early riser and she was even mad that I woke her up before the sun was up. The entire drive up there (about 40 minutes) she complained about how she wanted to go back home and stay in her bed until the sun was awake.

When we got home, it would seem Noah had been missing me because I was showered with a million kisses over the next few hours. Slobber face and all. It was really nice.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Few Random Questions About Yours Truly

2010-01-17T15:00:00.005-07:00

I haven't done an "about me" post or a meme in a long time so when I came across this one over at Posh Totty, I had to give it a go.

Opening…

Do you get regular massages?... Only if once a year (if I'm lucky) counts as regular.

Do you have an answering machine? ... No, but I do have voicemail. (I don't have a land line)

What cuss word do you use the most? ... I'd rather not say. I do try not to cuss. Although, I did cuss while on the phone with my mom today. Real classy, I know.

Are you underweight or overweight? ... Over. Nuff said.

Can you see your veins? ... Nope. And only one is accessible for blood draws. Weird.

Favorite…

Soap? ... I'm not a fan of soap as it can be super drying on my skin. But then I found all natural Goat Milk Soap. It's FABulous! My entire family loves it. (My favorites are Pure and Watermelon)

Fruit? ... Raspberries

Kind of red meat? ... Prime Rib

Fish? ... Salmon

Candy bar? ... I don't really have a favorite. Candy bars aren't really my thing.

Have You Ever…

Eaten a whole bag of potato chips? .... You know, it's true what they say about Pringles. Once you pop, you just can't stop. Make of that what you will.

Eaten lobster? ... Yes. I love seafood but lobster isn't my favorite. I prefer fish, shrimp or crab over lobster.

Climbed a mountain? .... Not all the way to the top but high enough to feel the burn.

Been skydiving? .... No and I don't feel like pressing my luck either.

Been water skiing? ... Yes but I prefer Wake Boarding.

Do You…

Wish you could change something about your life? ... I would like to be completely out of debt.

Like your nose? ... I've never really thought about it. I don't hate it though.

Like salt and vinegar chips? ... Nope.

Eat salsa? ... Yeah. Even though I don't like tomatoes, I do like salsa.

Own a boat? ... I wish. I really really wish.

What Is…

A small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequences? ... Their integrity.

Your most macho trait? ... I like to watch UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship aka cage fighting).

The longest relationship you’ve ever had? ... I've been with Shane (dating and marriage) for 10 years.

Your most embarrassing thoughts? ... I don't even know. That would require thought.

Your most shameful moment? ... See the answer to the previous question.

This/That…

Bath/Shower? ...I prefer showers but take at least one (sometimes more) burning hot baths a day to help release the pain in my legs.

Markers/Crayons? ... Probably markers for me but crayons for the kids.

Pens/Pencils? ... I like pens better.

Jelly/Cream Cheese? .... I prefer Jelly for sandwiches and cream cheese for everything else.

Bagel/Toast? .... I like them both but have toast more since we usually have bread in the house.

Finish…

My greatest weakness is … Soda pop.

I wish I was … not in pain on a daily basis.

Three things I wouldn’t do for a million dollars are … Have "relations" with anyone other than my husband, pose nude, hurt my children.

The oddest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth is … breast milk.

Firsts…

Credit card you had? ... My first is also my only.

Loan you got was for? ... A house.

Paycheck was for how much? ... Not enough.

Time you had stitches? ... I've never had stitches. I've had staples though. In my head (after brain surgery to remove a 9inch blood clot) and on my foot (to attach a skin graft where my foot had been ripped off). Oh wait, I did have stitches after each of my kids were born but I never saw them (that would have been tricky).

Time you went to the hospital for something? ...A car accident and child birth.

Lasts…

List everything you ate in the last 24 hours? ... Eggs, bacon, broccoli, coke, tuna fish.

Last thing you used a credit card for? ... I don't remember. I stopped using it a while ago.

What was your job previous to the one you have now? ... I've been with the same company for 9 years but the last position I had (before the one I have now) was Assistant Manager of a retail store.

Last thing you celebrated? ... Christmas (I was near death on New Years Eve so it didn't get a celebration).

Last time you were at a sports bar? ... I was going to say I've never been to one but then I remembered I had. Once probably 9 years ago.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Win 500 Free Business Cards {A Giveaway}

2010-01-17T10:00:00.002-07:00

The fabulous people at Overnight Prints have generously offered a pack of 500 free business cards to one lucky reader of Memoirs of a Mommy. Overnight Prints is pretty awesome. Not only do they offer business cards, but you can also find postcards, greeting cards, magnets and more. You can either upload your own design or choose from the many options they already have available, making the process incredibly easy.

You may think you don't need business cards unless you own your own business but you know, that's not entirely true. I have several different sets of business cards. One set has all my contact information including my email and blog addresses for me to give to friends and family (or for use at one of the many blog conferences). Another set has contact information to give to babysitters, other moms, or even prospecting employers (just an idea). So you see, even women with blogs (with or without kids) could benefit from having their own personal business cards. OH! And I just had another thought! You could even use them to enter into those "leave your card to be entered into a drawing for a free meal" contests that you see at restaurants.

How to win?

Leave a comment on this post and you will be entered to win your own pack of 500 FREE business cards from Overnight Prints. You can tell me your favorite color or just leave you name. Just be sure that there is a valid email address either in your comment or your profile that I can use to contact you if you win.

You can enter once every day.

I will pick the winner using random.org. Contest ends Saturday January 23rd.

Fine Print: This contest is open to residents of the US, UK or Canada. Overnight Prints is sponsoring this contest and I haven't been compensated in any way for hosting it. I just thought you might like the chance to win something cool.

UPDATE: Random.org picked comment #6. The winner of 500 business cards is Debbie!! She has her own fabulous blog called Debbie's Divine Deals where she posts about giveaways and discounts. You should check it out.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

The Emotional Life: Rethinking Happiness

2010-01-16T18:08:00.001-07:00

I came across a show on PBS the other day called The Emotional Life: Rethinking Happiness. Right after switching to it, the researcher who was hosting the show said the following quote that grabbed my attention
pretty fast.

Human beings have a talent for adapting. A talent for finding happiness were we least expect it. But if we can adapt to a life time in a wheel chair or a decade in prison, then why can't we adapt to the ordinary misfortunes of every day life? The answer is that adaptation is something the mind does when there is nothing else it can do. We adapt to misfortunes when we know we can't change them. But when we stand a fighting chance, we fight. And that's why we struggle so much with temporary misfortunes.

I have some thoughts about this. There is definitely a reason why it grabbed my attention enough to save the program, transcribe the quote, then type it out to blog about it. But before I share, I would like some additional perspectives.

Do you agree? Is there more to adapting (and possibly acceptance) than just the brains subconcious decision of possible change? If you would, please share your response in the comment section or blog about it and leave a link to your post. In a few days I'd like to come back to this topic and share what I've been hashing out in my brain.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

What Do You Think?

2010-01-15T00:16:00.002-07:00

I decided it was time to redo my blog template and go for something a bit more... professional. Turns out, I can't handle professional.

I found this template that I really liked and figured it would be no problem installing and redoing my extra stuff. I've done it numerous times and it's never been an issue. This time, I was outsmarted.

I think I finally got it figured out enough to be satisfied with it. It's not perfect. But then, neither is my html knowledge. Either way, here it is.

I would LOVE to know what you think. Does it work on your computer and your web browser? Is it all messed up? If you could let me know, it would be very much appreciated. I'm sure I will have to keep working on it and your input will make that easier for me.

I will miss my old header though. Those are my favorite pictures of my family.

Much Love,

Crystal
Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Cha Cha Cha Changes

2010-01-14T20:24:00.006-07:00

Please excuse my mess.

UPDATE: This turned out to be a lot harder
than I expected. I really made a mess of it.

Crystal

Delurking Day

2010-01-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

Are you a lurker? You know what I'm talking about.... you stop by or read in a reader and never leave a comment? (I know that you know that I know that I am a lurker myself... if that even made sense.)

Well, I found out over at this blog here, that today is Delurking Day.

Help play along. Leave me a comment and let me know who you are.

I would LOVE to return the favor.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

I Bring My Bottles Back

2010-01-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

I don't watch much Late Night TV. It's not that I don't like it. I'm just usually watching my TIVO line up or on the computer working. That said, if I had to choose a favorite Late Night TV host it would be Conan O'Brian. Back when he was on later, I would pick Letterman any day of the week over Leno. (Can you tell I like the weird and unscripted humor best?)

One night, several months ago, Shane had fallen asleep on the couch next to me and our Tivo schedule had been watched so I was surfing channels. I came across a rerun of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I caught the show right as he was about to do a song/skit for Green Week.

I laughed so hard. I actually recorded it to show to Shane the next morning.

I have now gone to the trouble of finding the video clip for your viewing pleasure. Please, you don't need to thank me. *wink*

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Are We Friends?

2010-01-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

I spend way too much time on Facebook.

I Facebook from my phone checking status updates and micro-blogging way more frequently than I would care to admit (even to myself) and I'm always on when on my computer. It's fun! I love seeing and making new friends, building new connections and finding old ones.

I have reconnected with several friends from my past that I had lost touch with. I have also become closer friends with many people I've known over the years but was never very close to. It really is a fabulous tool.

I was never into Myspace. I still am not Linkdin or share my Namez- or whatever it is. But Facebook? It's like crack... if I knew what crack was like that is. And as much as I'm reluctant to admit, I even own a farm.

I've already connected with many people who I first became acquainted with through their blogs. But I wish I was connected with more. Between the posts that show up on my reader, I often wonder what people are up to or how they are doing. (I am nosy like that I guess.) So I decided to send out a friend request here. If you read this (or I read your blog.... yes I realize you probably don't know that I do because I never comment, but I do and I'm planning on trying to be better at that) then I want to be your friend.

The email I use for my blog and all the comments is a special email that gets forwarded to my personal email. So if you have searched for me with that one, it won't show up. However, I am there. Search for me with my personal email crysmartin11 (at) gmail (dot) com. This is where I beg...... PLEASE!!! I want to get to know you better. I want to build friendships and connections. I want to get to know my readers better.

And if you have a farm.... I'll even be your neighbor. But if you don't, I promise I will NEVER send you an invite.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Noodle Between the Eyes

2010-01-08T12:00:00.002-07:00

Yesterday, Noah was being your typical ~~naughty~~ two year old. Instead of eating his lunch, he threw it. Jasper (our puppy) kept trying to catch the noodles and eat them.

He didn't walk away from the exchange unscathed.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Wrapping It Up

2010-01-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

It would seem that I've been taking an unplanned blog break. I don't believe I have ever gone this long without posting. But with the holidays now behind me and the schedule settling down a bit into something that resembles a routine, I think I'm ready to jump back in again.

I don't know why I stay away. It's not like I didn't write a million posts in my head. I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and write. My muse was missing, I guess.

So to get me started again, I need to catch up. Here are some of the things I meant to blog about and never did. (It might be long, sorry.)

Sometime around the beginning of November our TV was acting strange. Since we had purchased an extended warranty when we bought it (2 days before Noah was born) we sent it in to be fixed. Turns out it couldn't be repaired and we were authorized to get a replacement. That was such a horrible no good very bad experience. I don't want to hash out all the details yet as it still makes me upset. Needless to say, we got a new TV but don't like it and feel like not only were we treated horribly, we had to spend way too much money that we didn't have regardless of having a warranty. I'll share the story soon enough. For now, just beware of big electronic purchases at Best Buy.

Thanksgiving was fabulous! We spent the morning at home then went over to my parents house for the feast. It was great spending time together and seeing everyone. The food, was divine. I wish I could post some pictures of the great day but I was lazy and left my camera sitting in the bag the entire time we were there.

Shortly after Thanksgiving, we started the Holiday season by going to Winder Farms for scones (a yearly tradition). They were warm and yummy and since we went a bit early in the month it wasn't a mad house like usual. We actually could sit together and hear each other talk.

None of the pictures in this post are cleaned up or edited. O well.

Afterward, instead of driving around and looking at decorated houses, we decided to go to Temple Square downtown and look at the lights. It was so much fun. It was the most enjoyable night.

Lilly had a Christmas concert for school. She had one last year but didn't get to go. The first time it was canceled and reschedule due to a blizzard. But the day it was rescheduled for she ended up being too sick to go. It was a real treat seeing her all dressed up and singing Christmas songs. She got to be right up front and center. It was just too dark and I was too far back to get any good pictures. But I think you get the point. Daddy even snuck out of work for a few minutes and came with us.

The last few years we have had to skip our extended family Christmas party since we were on lock down. We had planned to skipped this year too due to the H1N1 flu and just wanting to keep the kids healthy before Christmas but we decided since Noah has been doing so well that we would go if everyone was healthy. It was SO much fun. We always have such a great time and this time was no different. We always meet at my Aunt and Uncles beautiful house (seriously, the word work is something) and my uncle makes a fabulously delicious dinner of prime rib. Everyone else brings side dishes and desserts. Everything was so good. I definitely over indulged. Then we draw numbers and play the gift stealing game. We laugh and tease and visit. It's the best party of the year, hands down. And it was so nice to see my family. Most of us live so close to each other but due to busy life schedules we just don't get to see each other much. My cousins kids are adorable and fun and just way too cute. My grandparents even came back from their summer home in Arizona so we got to see them too. It was just a wonderful night.

The first week of December I got the news I had been suspecting (I was keeping hope but I still wasn't surprised). The company I have worked for for the last 9 years was laying me off. My last day was to be December 4th but was stretched out till the 31st. I spent the entire month worrying that come Jan 1st, I was going to be unemployed. Not only was I worried about bills and expenses but I was also hurt. Hurt that after 9 years of hard work and loyalty it was so easy to just cut my position. Where was their loyalty. But I stayed positive and kept praying. On Christmas Eve my boss (who had been fighting for my job the entire time) called to tell me that he had finally convinced the Vice President to allow my position to be "hidden" under a different title. My hours are being cut (and my work load increased) but my layoff is officially off. I still have a job. I am beyond grateful. See, I don't choose to work. I wish I didn't have to but due to medical expenses (and less than stellar money management skills during that time), I have to. That said, I am extremely grateful that I am able to do it from home so I can still be the primary caretaker of my kids and make decent money (to help pay off that hefty debt) while I'm at it. Not only did I feel like my loyalty was being repaid, I know the Lord answered my prayers.

Christmas Day marked the 30 year anniversary of my birth. Also known as a Birthday. I am now 30 years old. 3 years ago the thought of turning 30 really bothered me. In your 20's you are still considered a young adult. 30, though, means you are all grown up. As I mentioned, 3 years ago this was hard for me to wrap my mind around. That I was really going to be 30! But after Noah was born I guess I finally felt like I had enough experience under my belt to have earned the grown-up title. My birthday came and went and here I sit, a 30 year old, and it really doesn't phase me. If anything, I figure the next ten years will be wonderful. I spent the majority of my 20's being sick. My 30's are going to be the years of great health.

Christmas Eve and Christmas day were wonderful. Some of the best in recent years. Christmas Eve I spent the day cooking a Thanksgiving style feast. We invited my parents and sisters over for dinner. It was so much fun having a big special dinner on Christmas Eve. We have never done that before. But I think it's going to be a new tradition. I was very pleased with how it turned out. I didn't screw it up!! The turkey was tender and juicy (all 20lbs of it) and the rolls and stuffing and the gravy and corn.... man I'm making myself hungry thinking about it. The only disappointment was that I didn't invite my brother and his family. I was so worried about messing it up and feeding all those people (stupid the things we worry about, eh?) that I had planned just to have it be my parents and the girls still living at home. But they were here, I realized how stupid it was of me to fret about it and I really regretted not inviting them over. After dinner, my dad read the kids The Night Before Christmas and we watched the cute Prep and Landing Christmas cartoon.

Then, I let the kids open their first Christmas present (new jammies). It was kinda sad (and cute at the same time) because Lilly was so excited for toys that when she saw jammies she couldn't hide her disappointment.

Christmas morning we woke up (around 830am... I'm gonna enjoy that while I can) and realized Noah wasn't feeling well. I should have suspected it when he didn't sleep more than 30 mins at a time and screamed all night. But I was tired and didn't. Luckily he wasn't too sick to enjoy everything but he was sick enough. Still, we had a fabulous time. Lilly peaked around the corner of her room and jumped with excitement when she saw Santa had been there. Santa brought Lilly a new doll house for her barbies and Noah got a block table that even has a train set on the other side. There were balls (Noah's favorite) and a few new barbies (all 3 colors of the 3 Muskateer Barbies that Lilly wanted so much). They even got soft new blankets for their beds along with a few small items.

When gifts were done, I made breakfast burritos for everyone. My parents came over to see the kids gifts and visit for a bit. It was really nice having them come over. Later that afternoon, after relaxing and playing around, we went over to my parents house for dinner. My mom had made a yummy ham and shrimp salad and warm rolls. Then we did our family gift exchange. My sisters are so sweet and get the kids gifts too (we siblings draw names to help us keep the cost down... something to think about when their are five of you plus spouses). My parents spoiled me. We had discussed, several times, that we would keep it small since times were lean but it sure didn't turn out that way. I got a gift certificate to my favorite clothing store and a Belgian waffle maker. Two things I had been wanting forever! It was fabulous. That night, after the kids were in bed, Shane and I relaxed and watched a movie. I hated for the day to end.
By the time New Years Eve arrived, Noah's cold had spread like a wild fire. We were all sick. This particular virus had it out for us "grown-ups" too. While the kids weren't feeling well, Shane and I felt like we were on our dealth beds. The kids went to bed early. Shane fell asleep on the couch (after a long day at work) at 6pm and snored the night away. I welcomed the New Year in on the couch with the worst sinus headache I have ever had.

Now that we are officially in 2010, things are going good. The pain and exhaustion flare up that I had almost the entire month of December is finally calming down and I am feeling better. I'm busy with work. Lilly is back to Pre-School (I have to register her for Kindergarten this month!! There is something I just can't wrap my mind around yet) and Noah started his first once-a-week preschool through the Early Intervention. Today is the last day of Holiday hours (Shane's work- the same company I work for- really stuck them hard this year. Open to close weekend shifts all month and extra extended holiday hours.) for Shane.

I'm excited for all the opportunities this new year will have in store for us. I am hopeful for a year full of joy and laughter and lots of smiles. I hope everyone else had a wonderful Holiday season and a Merry Christmas. My wish is that 2010 will be a year of happiness for everyone.

And who knows, between all that laughing and smiling I plan on doing, I may even blog a little.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Bit of Something Resembling a Post

2009-11-22T23:46:00.000-07:00

If I thought blogging on my BlackBerry was hard, then this thing is so much worse. Which is why I haven't posted as much even from my phone like I had been.

I'm thinking about returning this new phone and going back to my crackberry. Its not nearly as techie and cool as this phone but it is smaller and hurts my fingers less.

Anyways. That's not what I was going to put. This is just a pre-sleep blurp that will makes sense to no one.

But if you stick with it, I have some interesting posts coming up.

*disclaimer: if you read this, I am very sorry. I put all blame on Ambien. Who suddenly makes me loopy before I get sleepy. Since it hit right when I started this post. So I can not be held responsible.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Fire Ball In The Sky

2009-11-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

The other day, Shane told me he had seen something strange on his way home from the gym the other night. He was just driving along and suddenly there was this huge flash of light that lite up the entire sky. He said it was as bright as day and then dissapeared. We talked about it for a few minutes wondering what it could have been.

Then I kind of forgot about it.

Until I saw a news article about it. I watched the video of it and sure enough it really did light the sky up. I was so surprised. It's not that I didn't believe Shane when he told me. I did. But seeing it caught on camera really surprised me at how bright it was.

Check this out:

SALT LAKE CITY -- A fast-moving meteor lit up the night skies over most of Utah just after midnight Wednesday. Moments later, the phones lit up at KSL as people across the state called to tell us what they saw and ask what it was.

Scientists are calling it a "remarkable midnight fireball." The source of all the excitement was basically a rock, falling from space.

In addition to KSL, witnesses to the meteor quickly began call 911.

"I'm currently driving, but I just saw a giant blue flash in the sky, and it came down into the city," a caller from Ogden said.

A caller in Bountiful told dispatchers, "It flashed from the west, and it lit up the whole freakin' neighborhood."

A Salt Lake City caller said, "Ma'am, I'm not kidding you. I am terrified."

Professor David Kieda is chair of the University of Utah's astronomy department. He said the energy of the meteor coming into Earth's atmosphere was so powerful it has to be measured in Terawatts.

"It's almost like the consumption of the United States all at once. It was a fraction of a second," Kieda said.

When a meteor enters the atmosphere, it gives off a lot of heat and light. Folks at the Clark Planetarium say this rock was big--between the size of a microwave and washer-dryer unit.

"I mean this thing lit up the sky, literally. It was like daylight." - Patrick Wiggins, NASA Solar AmbassadorAt exactly 12:07, people from all over the western United States watched as the bolide meteor crashed into Earth's atmosphere. In some areas, the flash of light was so bright it caused light-sensor street lamps to shut off.

Clark Planetarium Director Seth Jarvis said the stony meteorite was probably traveling 80,000 miles an hour when it hit our atmosphere. He said it happened 100 miles up in the air; so despite the brightness, Utah was never in any danger.

"These collisions can do damage, but they are extremely rare; and literally once in a century do you observe something that's actually doing damage," he said.

Witness Andy Bailey said, "Oh, it lit up the whole sky, like almost brighter than the day. It was bright."

Don White was in Wyoming and told KSL Newsradio for a moment he suspected a nuclear strike. "With something that brilliant and that fast, it was like, whoa, did we just get hit or something? It would have been some bigger noise I guess if a nuclear device had gone off," he said.

"I've seen falling stars before, but nothing like that before," said witness James Albin.

KSL received reports that the light show was picked up as far away as Tucson, Santa Fe, Butte and Frisco Peak near Milford in southwest Utah.

The University of Utah has an observatory at 9,500 feet on Frisco Peak, which captured images of the fireball itself.

"All of the sudden the whole entire sky turned blue almost like lightning was striking." - Jon OlschewskiEveryone who saw it has a once-in-a-lifetime story.

Resident Jon Olschewski said, "I noticed to the left something streaking through the sky. It was this meteor that was exploding. It was breaking off into at least five big chunks."

Many surveillance systems captured the spectacular blast of light.

"When you got this mass coming through the atmosphere, and these things are going fast, it's like if you could travel that fast on I-15, you could get from Salt Lake to St. George in a matter of 5 seconds. So these things are really going, hits the atmosphere and it makes so much pressure on its leading edge that it just shatters itself," Jarvis explained.

Roy Merrell also saw the light. He said, "There was this flash in the room, the room basically just lit up."

Others recorded a sequence of shadows as fantastic as any Hollywood studio could create.

Patrick Wiggins, NASA Solar System Ambassador to Utah, said, "To realize it was up so high--people are thinking it's right close--but the thing was up so high it was seen between L.A., Las Vegas and, of course, all over Utah. I mean, this thing was way up there."

Scientists believe it was not part of the famous Leonid debris stream; instead a sporadic asteroid, a midnight fireball, which exploded in the atmosphere with an energy equivalent of up to one kiloton of TNT.

"It was almost, I could say, like celestial," Olschewski said. "You know what I mean? One of those kind of moments like 'oh my gosh,' like 'I'm not ready' kind of thing."

In Tooele County, residents reported that they felt that moment when the meteor shattered. Wiggins said it took about 5 minutes for the sonic boom, but said he's not surprised people felt it.
"Most meteors, you don't hear them, but this one was close enough and big enough that, yeah, you definitely heard the thing. It was exciting," he said.

In fact, seismology monitors at the University of Utah picked up the rumble from the air.

Wiggins said, from his calculations, the pieces of the meteor likely fell over Dugway. He said it's possible meteorites could also be found elsewhere. He said it can't hurt to look around your yard; if you happen to find one it could be worth thousands of dollars.

Courtesy of KSL.com

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Our Swine Flu Vaccine Journey

2009-11-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

I posted the story of how Noah finally got his H1N1 shot over at Noah's Adventure. For those of you who are kind enough to read both my blogs (thanks Mom!), I won't double post.

For those of you who don't, please go check it out.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

The Pain in Pop Culture

2009-11-02T22:40:00.001-07:00

I am painfully aware of many of the more important topics that I could devote a blog post to right now.

However, I have a thought (which is rare and hard to come by these days) so I am going to share it.

I watched the Kate: Her Story interview this evening. It made me sad.

I saw a woman sitting there. Alone and sad. A woman who has made mistakes, continues to make mistakes (but don't we all?).

But I'm not judging. I'm not in her shoes nor do I have all the information to try and form an opinion.
But what I see is a woman, a mother, sad and heart broken.

It made my heart hurt for her. For her share of the responsibility of current events. For the things she had no control over.

It makes me sad to see any marriage fail. It makes me sad to see anybody hurt.

I don't have any cool or insightful thing to say. A lesson shared or point of view explained.

It just made me sad.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Good Friend Is Worth Their Weight In Cheesecake

2009-10-30T00:00:00.000-06:00

I've never been one to have many friends.

I could come up with a whole slew of reasons but what it just comes down to is loyalty. I guess I always found it easier to be fiercely loyal to your friends when you didn't have a million of them. Don't get me wrong, I have many friends. But close, dear, sisterhood friends... Well, those numbers are few.

But when you have friends like I do, it doesn't matter if there is 1 or 100. Let me explain:

One of my dearest friends ever is Jen. We met when I transferred to Orem and was working with her Husband Gary. The first time I met her was at our store Christmas Party. We were all out in the living room and kitchen eating and playing games. She was stuck in her bedroom with a broken leg. Serious enough to have needed surgery.

So I guess I didn't really meet her then, I just heard her voice. But I digress.
When I transferred back to Murray and a position opened up for an additional Tech (I was a phone technician at a Nationwide Cell Phone Provider) I thought of Jen.

During that time in my life I was not a nice person. But that is a whole blog series of its own. Needless to say, its a true glimpse of Jen's character that she is still my friend.

We have been pregnant at the same time with both our children. Their due dates were always SO close. And it was a HUGE shock to us as it was NOT planned. Our daughters ended up being born about 1 1/2 days apart.

We were able to experience those first time mother things together and then remind each other how to do it the second time around. We had the same parenting schedule so we could call and ask for tips and advice. Play dates were awesome because we did things the same way.

When Noah was born and I needed someone to care for Lilly, she was there. I didn't want to take Lilly away from her home, knowing that we would be leaving for a long time very shortly. I tried to keep things comfortable for her. Jen understood. She brought her family up to play with Lilly while Shane and I were getting the transplant transportation and odds and ends taken care off. There are no words to explain what that meant to me. But she knew how much I needed it.

These sort of events continue to repeat themselves. As is the case when you find yourself blessed enough to have a friend like mine.

Tomorrow (Friday, as I am writing this late Thursday night) is her Birthday. Tonight was her Birthday dinner celebration and I had to miss it. Lilly being sick, chance we are all infected, and the yucky side effects of the Tamiflu that makes you feel like crud... It just wouldn't have been right to crash her party and bring a gift (of the pig variety) to her guests.

So what does she do?

She drives, completely out of her way I might add, to my house to give Shane and I our favorite flavors of Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.

She missed us and didn't want us to miss out on the treats. You would think it was my birthday and not hers. But see, that's just the type of friend she is.

One time, she even drove the 30plus minutes to my house, in the middle of the night, to bring me a slurpee.

I adore her. I respect her, I admire her. I love her. She is a sister to me. Her family is part of my family. And my life is blessed just to have known her.

Happy Birthday Jen!

*Why don't you come and sit right here? *patpat*

**hugs**

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Gone To The Pigs

2009-10-28T18:30:00.004-06:00

I tried to get the kids the H1N1 vaccine. The lines were insane and the quantity, limited. So we never did get one. But we did get the seasonal flu vaccine.

I know there are many people out there who don't or won't get a flu shot. For us, the small risk associated with any vaccine isn't enough to prevent us from getting it. And it's not just because we don't want to get sick.

Yes, it's true, that with Noah's suppressed immune system he is more susceptible to getting germs but he is also more likely to get sicker. When he gets sick, it revs up his immune system. The whole reason he is on immune suppression is because with a fully active or revved up immune system, it starts to attack his heart. Causing rejection and heart failure.

So, you see, it's not just a desire to avoid getting sick. It really is a life or death choice for us.

Monday afternoon, Lilly started seeming a bit sick. She had a small cough and complained of not feeling well. By the next morning, she could barely breath and I was afraid she was going to cough up a lung. She had a fever of 102 and was so tired. Classic symptoms of the flu.

We headed to the Urgent Care (our ped was out and the on-call Dr is the one who told me Noah was fine when 3 days later I found out he had pneumonia... so not worth the drive up there). They ran all the standard tests, including Strep and a flu test.

Everything came back negative, except the flu test. She did indeed test positive for Influenza A. And, since the seasonal flu has not made an appearance here in the great beehive state, I was told it was a 95% chance it was of the H1N1 variety.

In all honesty, this really worried me. I've heard how awful this virus can be on a persons lungs. I could see what a hard time breathing that Lilly was having (her O2 sats were in the high 80s). I couldn't help but think of Noah and his lowered immune system and his damaged lungs.

Thankfully, Noah's transplant coordinator is FABULOUS and she had already called in an Rx of Tamiflu for the entire family. If we can keep from getting sick, it will help keep Noah from getting sick.

Lilly is still not well but her breathing isn't as labored and while I have heard some coughing during the night from Noah, he has yet to get sick. I really think the Tamiflu is making a big difference.

By yesterday evening I was even feeling lousy, but I put the Netti pot to some good use and started my own Rx of Tamiflu and today I am feeling much better. I think the trick of it is to get it started as soon as possible and not wait until you already have a fever and cough. Although, that isn't always possible.

We are still not out of the woods. Lilly is still sick and her cough is pretty horrid. Noah could still get sick and that could be a whole world of hurt for him. But I feel more confident that all will be okay.

Many of you have reached out to me on Face Book and Twitter to offer your support and prayers. It means so much to me. As I have said many times, I know first hand (many times over) the power of prayer. So thank you for caring about the well being of my family.

Here is to hoping you all stay healthy and avoid this horrible virus.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

A Breath of Fresh Air

2009-10-24T20:50:00.000-06:00

The past few days I've been me again.

No anger, no yelling, more patience with the kiddies... What a relief. I was starting to wonder what happened to me.

Looking back, I think I figured it out.

I had started a new BC (darn hormones), I've been having some womanly issues going on 3 months now so I must have been a bit anemic, and the Lortab I've been taking (since my surgery in August) was starting to react badly in my system. Hence the meanness.

A few days ago I switched back to my old BC, started taking an iron supplement, and stopped the Lortab (now using Tramadol for the Fibro pain).

I can't believe it. I still have pain and exhaustion. I still don't feel good but I've gone to bed each night feeling peace. I haven't been yelling or losing patience. I have played and read books(lots and lots of books... It seems Lilly found her love of reading like her mom). Gotten my work done. Cooked and of course played around on Facebook. And all with a smile on my face.

Praying and reading scriptures and inspirational talks (like that quote from President Hinckley I shared in the post below) got me through the rough patch. It inspired me to keep trying and help ease my guilt.

But, boy... What a difference I feel now.

A HUGE sigh of relief. I don't have to hate myself anymore (until the next rough patch I guess.)

Loves,

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Buffet: Blog Style

2009-10-22T16:11:00.004-06:00

I've done a lot of posting about being a mother lately. Unfortunately, I've been having a difficult time. It's my fault. My children are really quite good kids. I've been very blessed in that way. They are sweet, loving, playful, happy kids. My patience has been suffering though. Dealing with horrible pain on a daily basis has taken all my strength from me.

I know that even the best of mothers have bad days but it's difficult for me not to feel like a total failure when I haven't done my best.

I'm sure I'm not alone. So I thought I would share a quote by a very wise man.

“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them. Fathers, control your tempers, now and in all the years to come. Mothers, control your voices; keep them down. Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts. They may do, in the years that come, some things you would not want them to do, but be patient, be patient. You have not failed as long as you have tried. Never forget that” Gordon B. Hinckley (Salt Lake University Third Stake conference, 3 Nov. 1996).

Mothers: You have not failed as long as you have tried. Never forget that!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was reading this post over at Paul Cardall's blog Living for Eden. This man is a personal hero of mine. (He is a fabulous example of strength, faith, and a positive attitude) Through the tears that were uncontrollably springing from my eyes, I saw this...

Then I really started bawling. I have no words. If you have been there, you know exactly what I mean.

Check out the rest of the series here. So very moving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tough times call for desperate measures and desperate measures mean I've been cooking. If effort counts toward success then I've been really successful. *eyeroll*

Shane says I've been keeping my cooking skills a secret for the past seven years. But in all honesty, I've had just as many failures as I have successes. But let me tell you, it's very upsetting to work super hard at creating a meal and putting in all this effort and time and have it just not turn out.

I've also learned, I am much better at "cooking" than I am at "baking". We ran out of bread this morning. So, instead of getting dressed and going to the store *lazy*, I decided to bake bread. It smells good. It even browned up nicely. Problem is, it didn't raise very well. They are stubby little things.

Better luck next time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are ALL about getting the flu shot at our house.

Immune suppression, asthma, heart transplant.... yes, I've read the risks (and done the research) and the benefits out way them.

We have every intention of getting the H1N1 vaccine. All our doctors have recommended it and we just don't have the luxury of not getting it. So I am getting super frustrated that they are so hard to find. They finally got them in my county but they are so limited none of us can get one besides Noah. Lilly should qualify but because she is 4 months over 4 years old, she can't have the shot yet. She is only allowed the Flu Mist. Problem is, because Noah is immune suppressed, no one in the family can get the mist version. It's a live virus and could make Noah VERY sick.

We are staying in and avoiding crowds but I sure would feel better if I knew we had done everything we could to keep us healthy. Come on Government!! Get with the program. You ask us all to get the vaccine... give us enough of it to do just that!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of my best friends is moving and it makes me sad.

It's not like she is moving out of state or across the Country. In all reality, she is only moving about 10 minutes further away. But I can't help but admit there was a part of me holding on to the dream of having our kids go to school together and go to church together. Until they decided not to move close, I was keeping up hope. Now, I'm like a little kid who doesn't get a treat at the supermarket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's my update for now. It's time to finish working on dinner. I am roasting a ham. I made homemade cheesy scalloped potatoes. That's all cooking. So now I need to roast some asparagus (or maybe I'll cook up the artichokes in the fridge... hum...) and set the table.

Can I just say, I can not wait until my kids are old enough to do the dishes.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Nuts and Bolts

2009-10-19T11:58:00.002-06:00

It's supposed to rain tomorrow. Yes, this might be a common occurrence during the fall, one that shouldn't cause too much extra fluff. If anything, it makes for a good day to turn on the heater, snuggle on the couch, and watch movies with the chillin. (aka the kids)

But not today. Today there is extra fluff. See, while driving to my parents house for dinner yesterday the weather was fabulous. It was warm and sunny. So we rolled down the windows. Now, the window by Lilly's seat won't roll back up.

If the weather was going to stay nice I might think this was a good opportunity to get some fresh air. But since its going to rain and I don't want to drive a swimming pool on wheels, its a bit frustrating.

Then, because everyone likes frosting on their cake, my dad informs me he thinks I have a hole in my muffler. When we started the car he could hear a rattle and smell exhaust by the passenger door. Oh yay! Frosting!

And because there is always room for jello too... Let's not forget to mention the needed oil change, the squealing breaks, and the broken valve on the natural gas canister.

So here I sit, at the mechanic. This place has treated me well in the past but I'm always a bit nervous and leary of trusting someone who can mess with my cars.

The plan, is to at least get the window UP before it rains. Then save up some dough to come back and take care of the rest (one thing at a time).

After all this dessert talk, I think I need a treat.

**UPDATE**
The cables are completely broken so there is no way to get the window up and have it stay up. $120 for parts $130 for labor and now I'm broke.

**UPDATE #2**
I was quoted the wrong price. This window is more pricey I guess. Now the part is $200. So he cut the labor down for a total cost of $280. Just wanted to clarify.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Bread and Butter

2009-10-18T23:47:00.000-06:00

This is a post that is hard for me to share. I don't want all my weaknesses and struggles posted for the world to see. As fake as it would be, I would still love to only share the good angle pictures or moment-of-strength stories.

I'm hoping, though, that here you will find truth to be more powerful and that my doom and gloom won't frighten you away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Lord of the Rings, Bilbo tries to explain to Gandolf what the ring of power has done to him. Stretching out his years... He describes it as butter spread too thinly across a piece of bread (yes, I paraphrased. Its been a while since I've seen the movie.)

This is how I feel. I feel thin. Stretched too far. Transparent.

But I also feel heavy. Weighed down by the pressures of life and the guilt of missed expectations. I could go on and on about it all. How I haven't been pain free in over a year. How that affects me as a person, a wife, and a mother. How I find myself relying on medication for even a sliver of relief. And yet, avoiding it, and making myself sicker in the process, to keep from becoming too dependent on it.

There are changes I need and want to make. I find myself questioning my abilities every day. Can I do it? Do I have anything left to give? What if's plague my thoughts.

I feel stretched thin.

All that said, I have to remind myself of a lesson I learned while living in a Ronald McDonald House, away from my husband and family, doing everything I could while my baby got sicker and sicker needing a heart transplant.

I felt thin and heavy then too. Different than now, yet the same in many ways.

Before I left for Denver, Shane and I met in a private room with my father and a close family friend.

My dad, a worthy priesthood holder, placed his hands on my head and gave me a Father's Blessing. During that blessing, I felt the love of both my fathers. My father here on Earth and my Father in Heaven.

I was promised, that when those times of great need came I shouldn't feel alone. That if I were to get on my knees and ask, I would be given strength beyond my own. That I would be lifted up and sustained through the tough times ahead.

I can say now, that the blessing given to me that day was what got me through the last 2 1/2 years.

I vividly remember having a very rough day. Seeing Noah getting so much sicker and then having to take Shane to the airport to go back home. Driving back to the RMH that night was awful. I didn't even have the strength within me to cry. I was lost and alone and empty.

I walked into my darkened room (Lilly and Jen were sleeping) and I went straight to the side of my bed and fell on my knees. I remembered the promise given to me that day in an empty hospital conference room. And now I found myself on my knees asking for what I needed so badly, comfort.

In the Bible there is a verse in John that says "I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."

That night, I felt the truth in those words and I put the promise to the test, I asked.(Or pleaded and begged might be more fitting.)

That entire room was filled with such peace and love. A feeling of complete comfort came over me. I laid down and I slept. Knowing that my Heavenly Father was going to help make me strong enough to make it through.

So now, how can I find myself feeling thin and heavy again? Worried about the future?

Because these times aren't as trying as before so I don't deserve to even ask?

Will I ever learn my lesson?

No, these times are not as difficult as before. But I'm struggling just as much because I'm not asking for help. The help I have been promised would come... If I asked!

Don't misunderstand. I still pray. I pray for my children and my husband, I pray for health and healing. I ask forgiveness of my weaknesses. But I haven't gotten down on my knees and asked like I did that night back at the RMH.

Why? Is it pride? Guilt? Do I wonder if I'm still worthy of that same promise if the trial isn't as severe?

But see, we all have been given this same promise. He will not leave us comfortless. He will come to us. He will give us the strength and comfort we need.

It's been said that the Lord will never give us more than we can bare. But what I think He meant was that regardless of what He sends our way, He will be there for us to give us the strength we need. He definitely doesn't expect us to do it alone.

So next time my pain is overwhelming or the withdrawal from the pain pills makes me sick, or in my weakness I struggle to be a good mother, I will remember that I don't have to do it alone.

Now that I've put this out there, I have to hold myself accountable. I have to get over my pride and humble myself before my Savior.

I feel silly even telling you all this. I know that in the big scheme of things and even compared to some people's little things my trials are small. I guess that just shows how truly weak I am.

But I am grateful for my faith. I'm grateful that everytime I'm not perfect (which is every moment of every day) I can be forgiven and try again. I am so grateful that I've been given the tools to make this earthly journey a good one. And yet I am so disappointed in my own stubbornness.

So next time I whine or have a bad day (or post on Face Book "Help Me Tom Cruise! (My FB status when I'm overwhelmed, that I borrowed from Taladega Nights)) Please, give me a swift kick to the rear and remind me where my help really comes from.

Regardless of how stubborn I am, I don't have to do it alone.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Confession Update

2009-10-15T23:01:00.000-06:00

Last night I was riddled with guilt. Mommy guilt. One of the most crushing kinds (I think).

My tears were a very painful reminder that I needed to try harder. I prayed for forgiveness and renewed patience.

Today was a much better day. I needed my heart healed just as much as I needed to heal my babies.

We played. We sang songs. We cuddled and gave kisses. We smiled and laughed.

Today, I was a good mom.

I can't do it alone. Everyday I realize this. I need my Heavenly Father to help me be worthy of the angels he has blessed into my care. And He never disappoints. If I'm willing and humble enough to ask. He is always there for me.

Today was such a better day.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.

Confession

2009-10-14T22:54:00.000-06:00

My children don't deserve me.

They are sweet, trusting, loving, perfect little beings.

I am irritated, tired, frustrated, and missing any patience.

I love them more than anything. There are no words to describe my love of these two little people.

And yet, I keep ending my days wishing I had shown more patience, more understanding, more love.

I pray every single day that Heavenly Father will make up the difference for me. That my children won't suffer because of my weaknesses and sins.

I remember dealing with infertility and praying to be a mom.

I remember watching my baby sick and praying that his time with me would be lengthened.

I haven't forgotten.

Yet, I have a lot of work to do to be worthy of those blessings.

Makes me sick to thing I'm not doing the best I know I can. I feel guilty.

My kids deserve so much more than just me.

But I am still so thankful for their beautiful smiles. They given reason and meaning to my life.

Be A Hero. Be An Organ Donor.