Yesterday, I wrote a post about comfort zones and how we can actually use them to create better businesses.  Today, we’re going to put that into action. Specifically, we’re going to learn how to spot our strengths, and how we can work them into our business models.

So, there are basically 4 ways to go here:

1. Look for repetitions of the same quality.  Bonus points if the patterns cross over into more than one aspect of your life.

*You’re in charge of a 20 person staff at work, and you’re the constant social organizer for your group of friends.  Leader? I think so.

2. Ask people (with whom you have varying levels of interaction) what they see.  Their perspectives (and the similarities/differences between them) will be eye-opening, for sure.

*Your mailman might say you’re always smiling.  Your best friend might say you’re an excellent flirt. Both are signs of an open, friendly person.  STRENGTH.

3. Look at what you DO, not what you say. We all talk a good game, but when it comes to strengths, the doing comes just as easily.

*A great way to see this is to think of the last time you had a major challenge/problem/hardship to manage in your personal or professional life. How did you deal? In crisis-mode, we always default to our strengths.

4.  Look at your bookshelf, computer bookmarks, Evernote notebooks, Pinterest boards, photos/art, blog feeds…etc. If the work speaks to you so much that you want to keep it close, it’s because you see yourself (somewhere) in there.  Everything that surrounds you has a little piece of you in it.

Make a very exhaustive list.  Don’t worry about it being too short or too long, or that you’re so self-absorbed and egotistical to be thinking all these wonderful things about yourself. It’s just the truth, man.  Let it out. Title the page: “I am:” and just…go.  Use descriptive adjectives (loving, warm, even-keeled, resourceful), roles (leader, team player, researcher, sharer, organizer, writer), or whatever phrases work for you.  The most important thing is that you have the sources to back up what you’re saying.  Walk your talk.

In terms of realigning your business model, we’re going to take that list, and ask ourselves 3 questions:

• Who am I?
• What do I do?
• How do I do it?

When I did mine, here’s what I came up with:

• I’m an extroverted leader who likes loves putting together the pieces, people, ideas, and projects that make good businesses and better lives. I’m all about empowerment, love, and community. 
• I teach.  I communicate on multiple levels.  I share knowledge. I connect.
• I do this through my blog/writing projects, the community and individuals I align myself with, and the knowledge I share through classes, workshops, digital guides, etc.

Now to the hard question: is this what I’m living right now? 

For me, the answer was no. (it probably was for you, too, or you wouldn’t be that interested in reading this post.)

Fact: I’m a classic extrovert who thrives on leading teams–>Reality: I’ve been working solo for a couple years in my home office.

I communicate on multiple levels and in multiple mediums–>I’ve focused mostly on the written text within my blog format.

I’ve aligned myself with the people/community I want to work with–>I’ve made connections more so than relationships.

These are my big three shifts that I’ll be working on over the next few months.  Note that this isn’t about everything I’ve done wrong…it ‘s about recognizing the need to course-correct to make my business fit me better. (NOT the other way around.) And that’s really the main goal, right?

Your business, your life, your way.

Next step to complete the 180 in 180?

Seeing.

Wow.  That’s easy. Not really.

One of the keys to thriving in your own business model is to, well…make it YOUR OWN. That is to say: stop trying to do everything the way everyone else does, stop thinking that if you were more like <insert awesomefamous person here> you’d be successful, stop looking for the next best trend in web marketing that will catapult your biz to the stratospheric heights you’ve been dreaming of.

In other words, don’t put yourself in someone else’s box.  To do so is not only short-range, instant-gratification thinking, it’s a disservice to yourself.

We spend an inordinate amount of time examining our problems and shortcomings–and berating ourselves accordingly.  Especially as we’re trying to build healthy, happy businesses and lives.  Nokay.

Why don’t we try something a little different, shall we?

Let’s (all) work on being strength-driven and power-focused.  Quit worrying so much about how you’re not like someone else, and start just being who you are.  Focusing on your power isn’t so much about dominating or conquering, it’s about getting out of your own way and into your groove. 

I think strength recognition is one of the easiest/hardest things we can do–we incorporate our strengths into our jobs, relationships, activities, interests…basically every facet of living. They should be so easy to see, right? Not so much.  Its the ease that skews our vision.  We’re not used to seeing the things that come naturally to us as “strengths.” We’re conditioned to work hard, train hard, keep pushing.  We don’t value fluidity as much as we value force. A skill’s worth is directly proportionate to the blood, sweat, and tears (not to mention time, energy, and money) we put into building it. I’m of the belief that this mindset needs to change.

What I’m not saying here is that one is better than the other. What I am saying is that we can’t judge merit or value simply by how uncomfortable we were in the process.

A radical thought:  what if we spent a little more time trying to get into our comfort zones instead of out of them?

*Tomorrow: an exercise on strength recognition and my personal biz as a case study.  Stay tuned.

This post is going to hurt.

Just a little, though.

But I think you need it.

If you’re sitting with a business that’s making less money/gaining less traction/getting less clients…

If your life feels monotonous, uninspired, or just plain shitty…

Let’s talk.

I’m going to start with one question: how did you allow this to happen?

Oh, hell.  I can feel the defensive prickles rising on my neck just reading that question.  So I want you to know something:  this is so not about blame, being wrong, or self-pity.  Somewhere along the line, we have all given our power away to someone or something.   We’ve held on to a limiting belief about our own ability because someone told us we couldn’t do it.  We’ve all psyched ourselves out of sending “that” email because we didn’t believe it would ever get read.  We keep our work under wraps until we believe it’s perfect…and it never sees the light of day.  We’ve all shut up about our dreams because someone laughed or told us it wasn’t possible. We don’t make the dough because, deep down, we aren’t sure if we’re actually worth it.

A little bit of that might’ve hit you where it hurts, and for the pain I’m sorry.  But I’m not sorry that you saw yourself in those statements–in fact, I’m really glad.  To clearly see where you’ve given it away is the only way to get your power back.

One of the most important lessons of 180 in 180 is that although the Universe might have laid our path ahead of us, we’re 100% in control of how to navigate it.  There is always a choice, and the ability to choose is one of the greatest gifts we’ve been given as humans.

If you’re working on your own conscious shifting of life or biz, this is a huge step.  Recognizing just one block (whether its a belief, a person, a situation, or other aspect affecting your life) and eliminating it is intensely liberating…and really the ultimate in self-love. It’s like taking your first breath.

I really want you to try it.

Pick the smallest, simplest change you can make and see where it leads you.  Send that one email.  Send a few friends that manuscript you’ve been working on.  Find a person or group with similar dreams & spend an evening in that company.

…What could happen next?

Embarking on a giant life change (whether conscious or a total curveball)  is all at one completely daunting and thoroughly exhilarating. If you’re like me at all, you see the whole puzzle sitting in pieces in front of you, but can’t quite see the finished picture yet.  Some of you might see the end of the line clearly, but have no clue how to navigate the terrain from here to there. Others may just sense that some sort of shift needs to happen, have no idea of how it will happen, and even less of an idea of how they want things to end up.

If I had to guess, there are probably a million or so people in one of those three categories right at this moment. And 999,997 of them haven’t started yet.

Why?

Well, in a word:  fear. In another 14 words: the sheer magnitude of it all throws up every wall of resistance we’ve got. We have no idea of where or how to start, so we never do.  We’re going to break down some walls today, friends, with another very simple, single word that needs to become a daily fixture in your vocabularies:

Stop.

Danielle LaPorte has written masterfully about the stop-doing list, which is a practice I both use for myself and with clients.  Besides being intensely liberating (especially for uber-doers), it’s quite possibly the easiest first step you can ever take to any sort of change you want to make, whether its eliminating a bad habit or selling all your stuff and moving cross-country. Works every time.  100% guaranteed to get your wheels turning.

I want to talk for a sec about why this is important. Danielle mentioned some great reasons in her article:  giving yourself some white space for your creativity to bloom, trading resentment for joy, having time for whatever really (really) matters to you…but what I want to hit home with all of you people at square 1 is that it’s really all about making room.  You can’t fill your well with anything fabulous or joyful or enlightened or even slightly-smile-inducing if its already full of shit like anger, resentment, bad habits, mindlessness, and soul sucking people. Clean out your psychic and literal junk. Today.

Stop watching the 2 hours of TV you invest in each night and start investing in yourself.

Stop staying at work late if you aren’t recognized or rewarded for it.

Stop giving other people power over you–that’s all being angry or resentful really is. You’ve got the power to change. Speak up.

Stop filling your garage with stuff you don’t really need and sell it/give it to someone who really does.

Stop giving your time to people who don’t give you anything back–all relationships are a two-way street, dudes. If it doesn’t build you up, let it go.

Stop the drama.

Stop needing your parent’ approval.

Stop eating lunch at your desk and go outside. And I don’t mean park your car in front of a tree and sit in there eating McDonalds.

Stop…and shifts will start to happen. Much faster than you think.

What can you stop today?

Wow. This has been one hell of a sabbatical from writing. More change than I could’ve imagined.

I decided to take an indefinite quiet period after a few months of feeling  continually “ehhhhh…” about my work.  I knew that I wasn’t feeling satisfied with the projects I was working on, and on the day-to-day I spent more time procrastinating and avoiding than enthusiastically rolling through the day.  I let the to-do list sit.  I waited until “tomorrow.” Many, many times.  Very frustrated with myself, uncomfortable in the space I created, and totally spinning my wheels and getting nowhere fast.

This, my friends, was a very, very good thing.

Here’s what I learned: procrastination & avoidance are sure signs you’re prime for growth.

When the work stops filling you up, it’s not a bad thing. It means you’re ready for something bigger.

My “something bigger”? Well…it’s currently living in my belly and set to arrive in September.

***

This new arrival is calling me to make some deep changes in the way I work and live…all with a very certain end date. To that end, I’ve decided to do a major overhaul of my whole enterprise.  Now is the time to create the “right” space for me to do the work I’m called to do, build a strong community of allies, friends, creatives and fellow change-makers, and speak louder and stronger.

Why?

Because it’s time for us, ladies. It’s time to step up.  It’s time to build your life & business your way. No excuses, no bullshit.

I’ve got about 6 months to make it happen before the kidlet arrives. Making a total life 180 in about 180 days.  Over the next couple posts, I’m going to outline the whys & hows of this project, and I plan on sharing the process with you guys throughout. A big part of this is to show that small changes over time get you to the same place as huge, sweeping, immediate ones—with significantly less fear involved.  

I hope you’ll join me on this little adventure. Let me know how you’ve navigated major life changes or your own processes to working through fear.  If you want to work through your own ch-ch-ch-ch-changes right along with me, awesome. I love a little co-conspiracy.

Let’s do this, ladies. For ourselves, for our nearest & dearest, and for our tribes. Do what you were made to do: create.

#180in180

When we normally talk about downtime, we talk about it in terms of resting, rejuvenation, stepping away from our businesses, and nurturing ourselves.

What I’m interested in today is something a little different. I like to call it active downtime

. (paradoxical, I know.)

I think there are many business lessons to be learned through the lens of downtime. Why? Because our downtime is spent doing what we are naturally drawn to do. We don’t do it because we have to, we do it because we want to. We aren’t up against any deadlines or having to please anyone but ourselves, and the results are usually of minimal importance. We simply enjoy the process.

I’ll give you an example.

I started running just after I started my business. If I’m being honest, it was simply to get my ass off the couch and avoid this freshman 15 that had subtly crept up on me now that I was working from home in front of my computer all day. That was it. As I built up to my first 5k last year, I started noticing a few things. First, my ass got smaller. (yay!) Second, I started having great ideas while I was running. Third, my ability to focus while I worked drastically improved. I usually have a ton of energy, and had always had very active, on-the-go types of jobs–the sitting-at-my-desk-all-day thing was very challenging.

Running (really) became a tool that helps me be awesome at what I do.

This year, I started getting more into distance running, and plan to do a half marathon in 2013. Distance running is whole. different. beast. (Am I right, runner friends?) You have to pace yourself, manage your energy well, focus your attention correctly, and listen to what your body’s telling you. We won’t even mention the emotional/mental battle that rages on until you cross the finish line. Here’s the funny thing I’ve learned about distance running:

The first two miles are always the hardest. Your body rebels a bit & your brain screams “I do not want to run!!!” Something always hurts. You can’t find a comfortable pace and your breath won’t stabilize and settle. Then, like clockwork, the two mile mark comes and something just clicks. Your body settles in, your brain gets quiet, and your breath moves steadily in & out. One foot goes in front of the other, legs stretching gracefully out over the pavement. You’re content. Peaceful. You know when you can lean into your edge a little bit and gain some time, and know when to dial the pace back and conserve some energy. Simply, you just keep going.

If this isn’t the biggest metaphor for the first two years of business, I don’t know what is.

My little hobby taught me the greatest lesson of my entrepreneurial journey.

You have to settle in to your own rhythm–and just keep going.

Do you have a similar experience with your downtime? Is it an active tool, just fun, or a passive way to spend some time? Do you see any lessons that you’ve learned within your downtime that have made you consciously improve as an entrepreneur? Do tell.

Uncertainty happens. Fear happens. Stuck-ness happens. Facts.

Also facts: Movement happens. Change happens. Good things usually follow.

In that fear space, it’s not really the circumstances (a relationship, a business, etc.) that make us scared, anxious, and overwhelmed. What we’re really afraid of is our own powerlessness, our lack of control over some aspect of our lives (or ourselves). So what do we do? We cling. Tightly. We dig our heels in and try to weather the storm around us.  We basically hold on for dear life and hope we’re still in one piece when it’s all over.

I’d like to suggest an alternative approach.

Your ability to choose is a fucking privilege.  Use it.

Here are 12 +1 decisions you can make today, tomorrow, in a week or in a year–they’re all different, but they all get the same result. Change, on your terms. That’s a wonderfully refreshing sense of power, isn’t it?

1. If it doesn’t feel good, I’m not going to do it. Your body bears the brunt of your mind & soul’s heavy lifting. Gut feelings are there to be heard. If hanging out with a certain “friend” always sends you home with a headache, don’t. do. it.

2. I really admire her bravery/selflessness/ability to knit/sense of style. I’m going to ask her how she got it. Look for what you admire in others, and ask them how they got it. Everyone has a story, and moreover, everyone loves telling it.

3. I’m choosing a tribe of 5. That old saying that “we are the product of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” is, well, true. Surround yourself with greatness, and you really will become great.

4. I’m going to allow for delight, wonder, and pleasure. Why do we always need to be reminded of this? I watch this video when I need to reignite my delight. Which is usually at least once a week.

5. I’m going to make room. Change requires movement, movement requires space. Clear it–literally, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually.

6. I’m willing to white-knuckle the reins, and then completely let them go. Surrender is a life lesson worth learning.

7. I’m gonna get dirty.

8. I see myself in the mirror of my relationship(s). All of our relationships reflect us at our best and our worst. What are yours saying about you?

9. I’m going to cut away the dead weight. This is not the same as making room. Here, you recognize the people, attitudes, and situations that don’t improve your life anymore, or worse, hurt it.  It’s your decision to not spend your time and energy on them anymore.

10. I see my own power. God, that is so New-Agey. Forgive me. But it can be so difficult to see all the amazing things that make you “you.” It’s hard to see your strongest qualities because they come so naturally to you. Listen when you receive compliments.  Ask important people in your life to describe you.  If someone comes to you with a problem, notice what they’re really looking for from you–is it compassion? Empathy? A practical solution? Just a sounding board? This is your power.  Own it.

11. I’m going to find something to practice. This sounds weird, but go with me. As someone who’s been in the midst of change for the better part of 3 years now, I know a thing or two. The thing about change is that it constantly makes you feel unsure of your footing, as if the rug could be pulled out any time. Also, all that leaning out over your edge stuff can be pretty damn uncomfortable. Finding something to practice (Paper-making? French? the violin? Tennis?) not only gives you a bit of an anchor (and, thereby some comfort) but it gives you something to constantly improve upon—hello, momentum!

12. Take a day. My nan always said that you get one day to be miserable/cry/throw things/hate life when your personal shit hits the fan. Tomorrow, you pick yourself up.

*13. I’m going to just have fun. When was the last time you had no expectation of anything other than to just enjoy it?

*although 13 is probably a bad list number, I just thought of that last one and had to include it.

A  final thought: 

Everyone and everything that “happens to you” is really just a piece of your puzzle. All you need to do is figure out how the pieces fit together. But they always do.

**Preparatory note: I’d like to have this conversation with your real, human self…not your noble, high-minded self.

There might be only one thing I truly hate about working for myself. (and I don’t throw the word hate around easily.)

I have never experienced so much noise in my life.

Until I learned to manage it (which, if we’re being honest, took me about a year to figure out.), my brain would be clattering all day/all night with ideas, conversations, thoughts on other people’s work, what I’d read,  feedback I’d gotten, worries, doubts, the episode of Dexter I just watched, what I didn’t accomplish in the day–you get the picture.

Needless to say, this became quickly deteriorating–to my psyche, to my sleep, and on my ability to be 100% there with my clients.  Bad news.

Now, managing the noise is a daily discipline for me: I have a set number of blogs I really follow instead of wandering the blogosphere day after day. My social media time is lim-it-ed. I focus on having 100% pure interactions with friends, clients, and peers in my sphere. I would much rather have 1 really solid, mutually beneficial relationship with a fellow coach/consultant than 100 half-asses ones. I surround myself with people (professionally and personally) I seriously value.

But, as with most things in life, I offer you a paradox:

I think that to be really, truly alive and present in your business, you need to remain fully and completely open within it.  But is it really possible to be completely open?  Is filtering your input a survival mechanism, an active choice, or simply a product of the broad exposure we have to the internet and social media channels? Do self-imposed filters limit your ability to connect and receive?

How do you choose which voices really matter to you?

And does any one really matter but your own?

–I *really* want to hear what y’all have to say on this one. We are all human beings blessed and cursed with limitations, whether we view them that way or not.  We are all individual beings navigating a very, very big internet sea–and its only getting bigger. This is an important conversation to keep on the table.

One of the most rewarding (and frustrating) parts of the indiepreneur’s journey is, really, the whole indie part of things.

That is to say, finding yourself, what you’re going to sell, how you’re going to sell it, and what the h$*% you’re doing it all for is time-intensive, difficult, and more-than-occasionally uncomfortable.

I’d like to help you with Step 1.  Finding yourself.

So, here’s the thing: the process of finding yourself isn’t so much about seeking or searching.  The process should be centered on uncovering.

Why?

Because you were stamped with those entrepreneurial genes before you could even say the word “entrepreneurial.”

Case in point:

Check out this kid.

I came across this photo while I was packing up my house last week–and it really struck me.  (as did the bright pink sweatsuit.) We are so stamped with who we are wayyyyyy early in life. At four years old, I had a mike in my hand and had the “stage presence” to pop a knee and pose as I was singing onstage (my parents’ bed) to my audience (my mom, obviously). About 10 years later, I started doing theater pretty actively, both musicals and plays, and participating both onstage and off. About 10 years after that, the “performer” vibe stuck with me in college and as I started writing and exploring other ways to be creative and express myself. Almost 10 years after that, here we are. I’m not so far off from that photograph, really. (except no pink sweatsuit, thanks.) I’m at the mike every day with my clients, blogging, coaching, and teaching classes, and my book writing this winter is going to evolve into some live speaking gigs and workshops–at least that’s how I’m planning it.

So, you see, you know exactly who you are and who you’re supposed to be really early on. It’s the expectations, self-consciousness, bad experiences, and life that gets in the way.  Peel away those hard layers.  Get to the essence of you–that’s what will make you a successful indiepreneur. Honesty in expression is just where its at. You do business cleanly and happily because it just feels right. You work with clients that feed your business as much as you nourish them. You find that you draw people into your orbit who help you grow–all because you rooted in a true, authentic space.

Tell me–how do you get to the essence of you?

Hey! Did you know that subscribing to my newsletter gets you access to some great exercises and action steps you can take to dive a little deeper? Hop to it! You can subscribe right here: http://www.megangall.com/. 

Kate Courageous & I took on some big questions in our interview a few weeks ago, and I’m so excited to share them with you today. I love having these deep talks with you, too. Let’s dive right in, shall we?

This final part of our interview focuses on implementation.  It’s one thing to talk about authenticity, shifting insecurity, and practicing courage, but fully another to show up and do it. So I asked Kate:

What are some real-life, everyday tools or practices that creative entrepreneurs can use to practice courage? I’m talking smallest possible action–manageable, quick, and easy to implement.

Here’s what she said:

Kate, on Tools for Practicing Courage

• Create stillness, daily. Make space for yourself to just be. How you do this is completely yours to own. If you’re into learning meditation in a way that actually works and is amazingly transformational, check out Susan Piver’s Open Heart Project. Seriously. I started it a few weeks ago–who knew that 10 minutes of my morning could so radically alter the whole rest of the day? And, really…my life?
• Find a guiding question.  I really thought about this at length after our talk. While the deep, introspective self work is really important, the simplicity of the guiding question really makes it a tool. You can constantly check in with yourself and gauge your actions/thoughts against it.  It can provide a quick perspective shift when you can feel the day going to hell. You are fully in control of your own life–proactive, instead of reactive.  Kate’s guiding question is:  “Is this really living?” I think mine might be:  “Do I want more of this?”  Way too often lately I find myself going through the motions instead of really doing exactly what I want to do. And I don’t always check in with the negative feelings there, OR the positive ones I experience when I’m riding the crest of an awesome creative flow, or eating a lovingly prepared meal, or running on a trail on one of the crisp, sunny fall days we’re having here on the East Coast. It’s almost a little Pavlovian, but if I really soaked in those good feelings I bet I’d create more of them.

So, over to you:

Do you use a stillness practice as a daily discipline? What is it?

What is your guiding question?

What tips & tools do you use as a courageous indiepreneur?

This was such a lovely conversation, and I’m so grateful to Kate (and to you) for making these such enlightening, food-for-thought conversations. Kate’s newsletter is jam-packed with great information and practices–it’s one of the few I not only subscribe to & read, but continually forward along to friends. Make sure you sign up, and get in touch with her on Twitter & FB.

 Kate Swoboda is a Life Coach, speaker and writer who helps clients to lead unconventional and revolutionary lives through practicing courage. She’s the author of The Courageous Living Guide, and creator of the Courageous Play and Create Stillness retreats–as well as The Coaching Blueprint, a resource just for Life Coaches. When she’s not writing, coaching, or leading retreats in Italy and San Francisco, she can be found sipping chai in libraries, buffing up on her Italian, training for her next road race, or getting all bendy-stretchy on the yoga mat. Learn more at http://www.yourcourageouslife.com , sign up for her free newsletter, or follow her on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/katecourageous or Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/YourCourageousLife.

Related posts:

An awesome interview with Kate Courageous: Part One

Interview with Kate: Part 2