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Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Here is a quote which wraps it up:

When you are through changing, you are through.

~Bruce Barton

I am going to focus on changeS. The “S” is what is important.

When life is not what we expected, we know we need to make a change. That change could be:

• A new job
• A new career
• Go back to school
• End a relationship
• Move to a different city
• Buy a house
• Better diet and exercise

Once we decide on that change, and I know it is not easy, we put it into action and wait for life to get better…

That is the problem. A change doesn’t mean things will get better. It usually requires changeS.

How many? I do not know. It will take your own self reflection to determine this. You already know what needs to change but sometimes we are overwhelmed with the amount of changes needed.

So, how can we make this easier? When you decide you need a change, make sure to couple it with another change. Always commit to two changes at a time.

What two changes should I commit to? I am glad you asked.

When we decide to make a change, it tends to be from the list I mentioned above. Did you notice that all those items have to do with external things? The first thing we always commit to is changing the outside things of life but we forget we have to change the inside things as well.

Example:

I was in a relationship. It was going well but it wasn’t really making me happy. As time went on, I realized it just wasn’t right for me. It was hard to realize this and even harder to make the choice to end it. I was in love.

Weeks after, I questioned if I had made the right choice but life started to get better. I was happier!

In time, I met someone else. It was great and we started dating. It was only weeks into the relationship when it was already almost exactly like the one I ended. I wasn’t with the same guy? How could this be? Everything was different. Well, not everything…

I was still the same. I had not changed.

We change the external by ending the relationship but forget to change the internal. Remember in a relationship, it takes two to tango. What did you bring to the relationship that made you unhappy? What role did you play? What could you change to make things different the next time?

There are so many different views you can take on each situation and what changes you want to make. Just remember when you make a change couple it with something internally you will change as well.

You might just be surprised of the results.

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C is for ChangeS

We have all heard the saying, ” What is the difference between an ordinary life and extraordinary life? A little extra.”

That extra is balls!

We make choices in our lives all the time. We can choose to play it safe and remain where we are or we can go balls to the wall and shake things up.

We all know what we want in life but most of the time we are scared to make it happen.

• We are scared to ask the guy out on a date.
• We are scared to take a risk.
• We are scared to face a fear.
• We are scared to fall in love.
• We are scared to end a relationship that is not working.
• We are scared to come out.
• We are scared to switch jobs or careers.
• We are scared to stand up for what is right.
• We are scared to live our dreams.

One of my clients said this to me:

“I love working with you because you get me. You support me, make me laugh and allow me to be the best me. The one thing that is different between me and you is that you have balls.

As time has gone on, I have always wished I had the balls you did. To live your life the way you do. Through our time together, I realize what you have been helping me to do. I am starting to grow my own balls!“

And now it is time for you to grow your own balls too!

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B is for Balls

A lot time we are guilty for living life with blinders on. We avoid topics and conflict. We are afraid to take the time to self reflect. We don’t listen to feedback from our loved ones. We do not want to know, what we deep down already know about yourself.

When we commit to being aware, we start to look at what is right in front of us. We now start to take note not only of what we are doing but what the results are. We notice patterns in our own behaviors as well as repeated cycles we create. We can even see beliefs we hold on to be true, that really are not.

A friend of mine and I were talking one day. Throughout our lunch I would share with her my thoughts or experiences and she was reply with, “Yes but…. Yes, however…,” Whatever I said, she would agree but then have something to add to show how I wasn’t really correct.

I finally confronted her with how I felt. I said, “Every time I share something, I feel as if you are correcting me on my statements.” She told me it was not the case and she was only adding to the conversation.

As we walked to our cars to part ways, she said good bye and frustratedly said, “Why is that everyone keeps telling that I correct them all the time. I do not get it!”

It starts with awareness.

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A is for Awareness

Starting now, and hopefully until I finish, I will be creating 26 posts each starting with a letter of the alphabet.

This is going to be my simple of way of breaking down 26 things I feel are important to move you forward in life. I was share information, stories and insights for each letter.

I think it will be a fun adventure and I hope you enjoy it as well. Tomorrow we will start with A…

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ABC’s of Life

This week my dad was rushed to the ER. I was there with him and my family. I kept thinking about this moment in time. Was it all worth it? All the hours, the work, etc. Could live a better life with less money but more time?

I know it doesn’t matter how much you make, you always seem to want or need more for some random reason. You can easily get addicted to spending as you can get just as addicted to saving.

I think we forget to look at ourselves and decide are we living the quality of life we want? Is it worth it?

I love what I do. I really do. It is great knowing I make a difference each day.  I think you have to balance that with making a difference in your own life as well. You need your life.

Justin and I talk about this all the time. I always want him to be happy. Happy with what he does and how he lives. I forget to check in with myself and make the same choices.

It is so easy to get caught up in the game of life to forget to enjoy it. Forget that you do not need as much as you think. Forget that life is so short. Forget that it is not about the money you but the wonderful memories and adventures you have. It is all about being happy.

Take sometime this week and ask yourself, is it worth it?

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Is It Worth It?

So how do you increase your good karma?

One thing I do is random but a lot of fun for me. I love to be in a drive through at Starbucks and when I get to the window, I ask how much the order is behind me and I pay for them.

They do not know who I am nor will they get a chance to thank me as I will be gone by the time they find out but, what a surprise they must get to know their order is taken care of.

I do it because I love surprises. I do it because it is fun. I do it because I believe sometimes we just need that in ourselves, to have a stranger do something nice for us. I also enjoy having a opportunity to give to someone else.

Now, don’t you wish sometimes you were behind me in Starbucks?

I am very close to my mother. When I am walking around and I see people who look like my mom, I tend to  reach out to them. I open the door for them. I smile at them. I will talk to them while I am waiting in line.

Why do I do this? Because deep down, I hope someone will do the same for my mom. If it raining, I would hope someone would hold the door for her when I am not there. I would hope if she needed help, someone else would help her.

I am putting it out there because I want it to return to my mom.

To me, karma is all about sending out how you want to be treated by the world. The more you put out there, the more you will get the same.

My mom’s friend, Jinx was like a grandma to me. One thing I really learned from her was that she loved the world and, in return, the world loved her.

I work hard each day to put out what I want in the world. Trust me, I mess up just like everyone else. It happens.

The important part is I am aware of a change and I am working to make it a habit. How would your world be different, if you did the same?

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Increasing Your Good Karma

I have lived in the same city my whole life, in the same house for over 10 years and I have had the same cell number since the 90’s. And the same name if you are looking on Facebook!

Not that it is hard to find me. I am everywhere but it is the fact they reached out to me.

I believe people may come and go in our lives but they have changed our lives for the better. If it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be who you are now.

Sure there are people in our lives, we let go because it was time and they impacted us negatively BUT our life is still better because of them. They taught us a life lesson we can now take with us. It might not have been a great experience but we learned from it which allows us to have better experiences going forward.

The people I have been connecting with are very positive. We had our ups and downs but there was a lot of laughter and a lot of love. I am so excited to be reconnected with them.

My life is better because of them.

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Blast(s) from the Past!

I am sure you can list a bunch of quick items or goals but you can see your life? Can you see what your life will be in the future? Are you even sure all you want will get you to the future life you deserve?

It is better to focus on the end. Not the end of your life but your vision. A vision of what you want your life to be.A crystal clear vision.

It is easy to have a vision that is 20 years, 10 years, even 5 years way. That was me. I had a vision and it was 5 years away. I learned when I told myself this, my vision took longer to achieve. I was moving forward but at a pace of 5 years.

I also learned that I kept putting things off because it was going to happen in the future. No need to rush. No need to celebrate yet. I had more time. I could achieve more or add more. I had 5 years.

I would met a goal and then be surprised it happened faster than I expected so I would just redo the goal. How could I be living the life I wanted? It hasn’t been 5 years…

Not anymore.

Now I know exactly what I want my life to be. Not my life in the future, but my life now. I understand my life is not there yet but I do not have time to wait. I have to work  to create that vision in the here and now.

I am not longer setting huge goals where I keep pushing myself to do more each time I get close to the end. Instead I accept that this is a journey. I will always be growing. As long as I am clear on exactly what I want my life to be, I know where I am headed and what I have to do.

It is moving me from waiting for the better future, dreaming of a better future to creating a better life here and now.

I am unhooked from goals that lead me no where, dreams that would only be lived when the time was right and the fear I will look back on wasted time.

I am creating my life now. I know what I want and there is no time like the present to bring it forth.

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Set It and Go!