Michael Pantalon

Motivator or Influencer: Which Would You Rather Be?

Michael Pantalon — Mon, 21 May 2012 20:12:22 +0000

Why are some people uncomfortable with the idea of influencing others, yet they’re fine motivating them?

I think it has to do with the fact that some think influencing amounts to manipulation and/or trickery, where you make people change for only your own gain and you influence them without their knowledge.

The truth of the matter is that influence simply means that you’ve helped someone make a change. Whether the change is for your gain, their gain or both is as up to the influencer as it is to the motivator. And while I guess it is possible to influence someone covertly, again, it is up to the influencer. The motivator too could work under the radar, so to speak.

So, then what is the difference between motivating vs. influencing someone. To my way of thinking, when you motivate someone, you get them to want to do something. However, when you influence them, you motivate them to the point of actually doing it.

In other words…

Motivation = Desire to change
Influence = Motivation + Action

So, think about it, what outcome are you looking for when you’re trying to motivate someone? Do you only want them to want to change or would you like to see actual change? I think most would want the latter and that’s why I say that most people should aspire to being influencers versus motivators.

But how do you influence someone with manipulating or tricking them?

Here are 3 simple steps based on my ultra-brief method called, Instant Influence, which is the only scientifically-proven method of influencing people in 7 minutes or less (see my book):

1) Stress the person’s autonomy or freedom of choice by saying, “I can’t force you to change. It’s up to you” (even if you’re the boss, because the reality is that it is up to them and science tells us that people change in more sustainable ways when they have freely chosen to do so.)

2) Ask what I call “Positive Why” Questions like, “Why might you want to take a step toward change?” and “Why are those reasons important to you?” (Notice that it’s about the person’s motives not about yours. Therefore, it’s not manipulation or trickery. We ask these questions because people are moved to action by self-interest.)

3) Feed back or reflect on only the positive motives for change (by reiterating the reasons why the person has told you she may change. Leave alone the excuses or reasons why a change wouldn’t be good.)

My method is Instant Influence and my promise is 7 Minutes to Results. Influence even the most resistant people at work or at home by using these and other strategies from my book.

I’d love to hear how it goes or call on me for coaching or training.

Exert Your Influence!

Share/Bookmark

What is the biggest mistake a person makes when trying to influence others?

Michael Pantalon — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:34:51 +0000

Click here to listen to my Real Recognition Radio interview with Roy Saunderson & S. Max Brown (It’s FREE on iTunes). We had a great time talking about Instant Influence - my off-the-beaten-path and sometimes counterintuitive way of motivating people in the workplace, our children and even ourselves!

Share/Bookmark

Real Recognition Radio Interview

Michael Pantalon — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:26:12 +0000

Be sure to catch my interview on Real Recognition Radio on Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 at 1pm EST. We’ll be talking about how to motivate people in the workplace. Don’t miss it!

Share/Bookmark

Influencing Your Way Into a Sold-Out Event

Michael Pantalon — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 01:48:47 +0000

Check out my new blog post on Psychology Today.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-influence/201111/influencing-your-way-sold-out-event

Share/Bookmark

Don’t Break the Dead Man’s Rule!

Michael Pantalon — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:22:23 +0000

Here’s a tip to get you prepared to use Instant Influence, the only scientifically-proven method to motivate anyone in 7 minutes or less, with the people in your life who are not doing what you would like them to do, whether you find them at work or at home.

The first step in any process of influencing or motivating someone is to pick a target behavior – the thing that you would like the person to do that they are not doing. And the first step toward picking a target behavior is to make sure you “Do NOT break the Dead Man’s Rule,” which is an old saying in the motivation business. In essence, it means,…

Don’t try to motivate anyone to do anything that a dead man could do just as well.

For example, we try never to break through resistance to get people to not drink or stay away from fattening foods or stop getting in your own way. A dead man doesn’t drink, he never eats fattening foods, and he’s long past getting in his own way.

Instead, we might try to move someone to refuse the next drink or stick to healthy meals and snacks or call up that company and ask for a job interview. Now the person has an active role to play—something you need to be alive to do.

When you ask people why they might want to do something or how motivated they are, you’re asking them about behaviors, not outcomes. Most of the time, we can’t control outcomes, but we can control behavior. We can’t commit to losing weight, but we can commit to sticking to a meal plan. We can’t commit to getting a job, but we can commit to making 10 job-interview calls by the end of the week.

It’s also useful to focus on the next step rather than on the final step: I’ll stop texting and IMing during the next family movie night rather than No cell phone or computer ever during special family times. Some of the people I’ve trained have objected to this “baby step” process, feeling that I’m asking them to be too easy on the people they’re trying to influence. But we only get somewhere by taking one step after another, and having taken the first step, however small, we almost always find ourselves motivated to take another. Trust the process, don’t rush the process, and let the process work for you—one step at a time.

More Instant Influence TIPs coming soon!

EXERT YOUR INFLUENCE!
~ Mike

Share/Bookmark

Want to be more influential with your kids?

Michael Pantalon — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:49:13 +0000

Listen to my interview on LA Talk Radio Show, “Answers-4-The Family.” In it I discuss how to use my Instant Influence approach with your kids and many others. http://www.latalkradio.com/Players/Allen-103111.shtml.

Share/Bookmark

What’s the magic wand to get things done?

Michael Pantalon — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:08:28 +0000

Mid-Day’s review of my book.
http://www.mid-day.com/lifestyle/2011/sep/190911-magic-Michael-V-Pantalon-Instant-Influence.htm

Share/Bookmark

Heart Before Head: The Legacy Of Steve Jobs

Michael Pantalon — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:20:31 +0000

A Huffington Post blogpost co-authored with Margaret Moore.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/margaret-moore/steve-jobs-advice_b_1004898.html

Share/Bookmark

Does Being Influential Make You Healthier & Happier?

Michael Pantalon — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:14:38 +0000

My NEW blogpost in Psychology Today.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-influence/201110/does-being-influential-make-you-healthier-happier

Share/Bookmark

Instant Influence in Psychology Today

Michael Pantalon — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 21:03:41 +0000

Read about “Instant Influence” and other strategies of influence, persuasion and negotiation in this month’s issue of Psychology Today.

The Art of Influence

Share/Bookmark