I hope 2012 has been as exciting for you as it has been for me. As many of you know this month I welcomed the birth of my first child Sloane. The whole birthing process is simply amazing and I am happy to report Mother and Daughter are doing great!

My life has been so rich this past quarter but there is always room for improvement. In Positive Psychology two concepts that help people live happier lives are Relishing and Resilience. Relishing is the act of choosing to think about positive experiences when you let your mind wander – opposed to dwelling about negative past or future events. Resilience is, in part, the mental defense you build up against depression and negative feelings when you live optimistically and relish positive experiences.

Last month I had a great day… a wonderful day… leading up to a very short but negative interaction with a San Francisco bus driver. The incident lasted five minutes and was a distinct outlier from most of the happy experiences I have had in the Bay Area. Yet that day and a few days after I let this five minutes linger and influence the memory of an otherwise brilliant day. I let a moment in time damage an entire day of positive experience. I can do better! If you see me do this again, tell me to go home and read my newsletter.

For my health and wellness interview this quarter I was excited to get the chance to meet and interview Nadeem Kassam. Nadeem is a serial entrepreneur and investor who has been focusing on innovation in the health and wellness arena for over a decade. His latest endeavor is the new BASIS watch, a biometric device getting a tremendous amount of early buzz. My interview with Nadeem Kassam about biometrics devices can be found here.

This quarter’s business interview is with Jerome Breche. Jerome is the co-founder of SnapEngage, a customer engagement start-up that empowers anybody to quickly get a robust chat system embedded onto a website. My interview with Jerome Breche about customer enchantment can be found here.

Aside from the awesome life experience of becoming a father, this quarter’s other life experience was learning to fly. I really enjoyed the challenge and the thrill of being able to control an aircraft.

Learning to fly | Palo Alto Airport | 2012

Lastly, this quarter’s contribution went to Planned Parenthood. I’m comfortable going on record that it is my belief that health and wellness should transcend political and religious debate. Within the context of this belief, it is my opinion that Karen Handel’s political maneuvering to try and reduce the funding of Planned Parenthood was just short of diabolical. I am proud to be part of the movement that publicly rebuked her behavior through economics.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. – Margaret Mead.

Wishing you the best in the year ahead.

Warm regards,
Michael

It’s the seventeenth edition of the Live Life Love newsletter, which finds us almost at the close of 2011. First, let me open by wishing you and yours the best holiday season possible! This year please accept this email as a humble substitute in lieu of a greeting card. It has been quite an engaging quarter so there was no bandwidth to get out traditional cards unfortunately; as many already know my wife and I are expecting a baby girl come the New Year. I’m really excited to experience the changes fatherhood will bring and I’m fairly confident that more than a couple of the future quarter’s life experiences will include this new edition to the world. Hopefully she’ll be inspired to start a project of her own some day.

Last quarter I set the milestone of running a sub-nine minute mile pace in a half marathon. I missed that goal by 43 seconds, but in the process ran the first long distance race where the second half was faster than the first (referred to as a negative-split) and I still ran faster than any previous race (referred to as a personal record – or PR for short). These two events occurred while participating in the inaugural Walnut Creek Half Marathon. Although I would have enjoyed logging a sub-nine finish, I graciously accept a new personal record, and more importantly my first negative-split, as a victory and this quarter’s life experience.

Walnut Creek Half Marathon 2011 Finish | 1:58:43

For this quarter’s business interview I connected with Erik Allebest who is one of the founders of Exercise.com, a website that helps anybody improve their well-being and health through various innovative online tools. Among Erik’s specialties are Web marketing and building sustainable monetization models. He is also the founder of Chess.com. My interview with Erik Allebest about Web entrepreneurship can be found here.

My health and wellness interview this quarter is with Alex Gourley. Alex is a University of California, Davis alumni and one of the co-founders of Active Theory, the company behind BitGym, a mobile application that has been getting a lot of recent buzz including recent features in TechCrunch and VentureBeat. My interview with Alex Gourley answering five questions about technology and exercise can be found here.

Regarding contribution this quarter I was excited to use the platform Kickstarter to help a high school friend and a college friend get one more step towards their goals. Dean Yamada is an inspiring filmmaker with some significant success already under his belt, he is trying to “kick start” his latest film project Cicada (more details about Dean’s project can be found here: http://kck.st/ukdmI4). Eric Quick has a history of success in inspiring people to eat healthy with more than a decade of executive experience in the food industry. His latest project is a mobile application to inspire kids to make better eating choices (more details about Eric’s project can be found here: http://kck.st/uEfRXR).

One of the powerful ideas behind the Live Life Love project is data. In one respect it is the data/information I’m able to share from some brilliant minds in my areas of interest. More selfishly, it is the data/information that I submit each quarter committing myself publicly to create a life experience and contribute to the greater good (at least once every three months). Success is never a result of the “start”, it’s a result of the “continue”. If you have yet to experience keeping a journal or log where you track progress towards a worthy goal I challenge you to give it a try (whether it’s publicly shared like mine, or kept private is your choice). As we embrace the information age we’re living in it’s clearly evident that we can harness and utilize data in limitless ways to improve our lives. (Check out this great TED video highlighting the power of data…

…it is specific to improving health, but the concepts can easily be applied to improving overall well-being too.) By committing to collect data against a goal, you enrich your “continue”.

Whether this method towards success works for you, or it is another of your own design, my hope is that 2012 is one of many years to come that you exceed all your goals. As always, let me know if I can help in any way.

Warm regards,
Michael

I hope this latest edition finds you well and you’re in the process of wrapping up the end of a great summer. From the feedback I’ve received, or events I’ve been able to attend… weddings, birthdays, reunions, graduations… there was so much to observe and celebrate these past three months that it appears to have been a rousing third quarter for most. As many of you know, the entreating I did a couple of quarters ago paid off and resulted in a well-suited job in the health and wellness sector. Plus, the entrepreneurial hobby with my father continues to be engaging. For all of this I am quite grateful, especially to the college friend and the high school friend (KJ & JM) that helped make it happen. I look forward to keeping this momentum going and doing my best to pay it forward.

My next major goal is running the Boston Marathon by 2016. My best marathon time to date is just under 4:30:00 so I’ve a ways to go… quite a ways! To make it happen I’ll need to break the goal up into smaller milestones. This tactic towards achievement has served me very well with other goals. The first milestone is running under a nine minute mile pace in a half marathon race. I’m committed to making this happen as next quarter’s life experience. As such, I’ve signed up for the Run with the Jets Bay Area Half Marathon and the Walnut Creek Half Marathon. Goals are always more fulfilling when shared, so please consider this email an open call for training partners! Regarding the project’s deliverables this quarter, here you go…

I was extremely fortunate to get to spend some time with this quarter’s health and wellness expert Dr. Liz Applegate. Dr. Applegate has worked with a wide range of competitors from professional sports teams to USA Olympic athletes. She has also published six well-received books on nutrition. My interview with Dr. Applegate answering five questions about nutrition can be found here.

This quarter’s business interview is with Scot Hacker. Scot recently built an entire social goal sharing platform from the ground up. He also has authored two books about technology and is an all around incredible mind. My interview with Scot Hacker about website engineering can be found here.

My life experience this quarter was learning to kiteboard. A couple of friends and I took lessons out in the Berkeley Marina and loved it! It is something I definitely recommend trying to anyone that likes to be on the water. Anyone want to learn how to fly? That is next year’s experience and I have already reserved a spot for two. Let me know.

Kiteboarding | Summer 2011

Lastly, I was privileged to get the opportunity to support the effort of Robert and Kristen this quarter, a husband and wife team who walked a combined 120 miles during the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure event to raise money to help find a cure for breast cancer. I look forward to continuing to support more of these fine efforts as the project continues.

Warm regards,
Michael

The Godfather of Flow, Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, defined flow in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience as the “experience of optimal fulfillment and engagement,” and “a deep and uniquely human motivation to excel, exceed, and triumph over limitation” in anything we love doing.

Dr. Csikszentmihalyi stumbled upon Flow in his youth. As a child growing up in Hungary Mihaly saw how many in Hungarian society were affected by war, many devastated because of the loss of their social status and/or finances. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi wanted to avoid the perils of this negativity and see if he could find meaning outside the confines of what was happening around him. In his own words, he wanted to, “live life as a work of art, rather than as a chaotic response to external events.”

He was intrigued and studied why some people did not lose their sense of self during this time, even after losing everything, where as others were devastated and were not able to reclaim their sense of worth. He discovered that people found pleasure in very profoundly different ways.  As Csikszentmihalyi matured he continued to be fascinated by this and conducted hundreds of interviews with people from different walks of life including athletes, artists and CEOs to discover what compelled their passions.

He continued to find people define this state very differently but discovered a common theme, that people that really enjoy internal pleasures described enjoying those pleases like being in a trance. He began to develop a concept of Flow, that of being an extremely productive and fulfilling state where one forgets about their self and is extremely focused at the task at hand.

He observed that people experiencing flow do not notice fear, they do not really keep a mental record of what they are doing and actions are instinctual. That is not to say that you can find Flow in routine tasks, on the contrary the mundane has been shown to hinder flow because the lack of challenge does not provide the right stimulus.

So what does Flow mean (in the mind of Dr. Csikszentmihalyi):

1. Concentration – being completely involved and focused
2. Elation
3. Inner clarity – clearly seeing tasks and executing them flawlessly
4. Confidence
5. Serenity – complete self-trust and lack of fear
6. Timeliness – absorbed in the Now
7. Intrinsic motivation – doing for the sake of doing

.

As I previously discussed achieving flow cannot be found in the mundane, Dr. Csikszentmihalyi believes there needs to be balance between skill and challenge. It is the sweet spot between arousal and control. Too much arousal and you might get anxious about the outcome, too much familiarity and control and boredom may get the best of you. Find the balance between the two and you are able to fully engage yourself in a desirable state.

First off, thanks for taking the time to check out this quarter’s newsletter. My invocation experiment last quarter was met with unintended results, none-the-less I’m filled with gratitude from all the warm responses I received. I assure you all is good and things are moving in the right direction. One of the main aims of this “project” is to stay publicly committed to succeeding at the goals that were set forth when it was launched. The project’s success, and by extension my success, is influenced by engaging these commitments and taking some risks. I’ve been dogmatically preaching the benefits of optimism and positive psychology for more than three years now because it has served me well. However, last quarter I was compelled to highlight that there are a few more pieces to the puzzle.

This short allegory quickly sums it up better than I can: Throughout his life a man asked his creator (insert the deity that works for you) to assist him in winning the lottery. Almost every week without fail he pleaded, yet lottery winnings never manifested. He kept his faith and continued this ritual until the day he died. Now face to face with his maker the man proclaims, “I asked you my whole life to help me win the lottery. I made the best attempt to live life with love… plus you must have foreseen I would’ve used the money for good… yet I was never obliged. I’m not bitter as I’m sure there are reasons, but I am curious to know why?” …the reply, “I’ve wanted to help you your entire life, but buddy… you never bought a ticket.”

Things are getting exciting and I want to again extend my gratitude. This summer is filled with weddings, races, and concerts, which means there is a good chance I will get to see many of you in person over the coming months. Until then, I wish you a fantastic and rewarding summer! Without further ado, here are this quarter’s deliverables:

Entrepreneurship: This quarter’s business interview is with Deena Varshavskaya who is the founder of Wanelo (short for Want, Need, Love) which is a community platform for online shopping that recently made Entrepreneur magazine’s list of the most brilliant companies in 2011. She has a lot of great information to share about social shopping and female entrepreneurship (there is a must see illustration of antiquated gender roles within the post). The interview with Deena Varshavskaya about Wanelo can be found here.

Health and Wellness: This quarter’s wellness interview is with Ellen Burton. Ellen is currently the program officer for Exercise is Medicine®, which is a multi-organizational initiative coordinated by the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) to help promote exercise as a form of preventative care. It is an extremely important and ambitious endeavor. My interview with Ellen Burton about the Exercise is Medicine program can be found here.

Life Experience: This quarter I traveled to Miami for the first time to enjoy the Winter Music Conference. I went with a great bunch of guys and got to listen to a lot of great music. Miami is as crazy as it is made out to be.

World Music Conference | Miami | 2011

Contribution: There were some great opportunities to give back this quarter. I helped sponsor Jamie’s sister in her London Marathon effort raising money for Mencap. I sponsored another friend’s effort to raise money to help fight Angelman syndrome at the Angelman Walk-a-thon in Sacramento, CA. Finally, continuing with my effort to help music based charities, I made a modest donation to Musicians On Call, which is an organization that connects musicians with ailing patients in health-care facilities.

Warm regards,
Michael

Let me set forth the argument that in the world of achieving peak human performance, optimism is the desired course. When evaluate your own performance, there is evidence to show that over the long-term you are better off overestimating your abilities. In the paper, On the Evolutionary Emergence of Optimism, researchers Aviad Heifetz and Yossi Spiegel show that high performing individuals are regularly found to be overly optimistic. These results run contrary to what one would expect. However, one of the many differences between optimists and pessimists is that pessimists are more realistic about their performance by way of either underestimating themselves, or more likely giving themselves a realistic self-evaluation.

Optimists on the other hand are likely to self-evaluate themselves as more effective than they actually are. Intuitively one would assume this to be a negative. However Heifetz and Yossi found being optimistic changes the structure of one’s environment and with optimists (as opposed to pessimists) successful tendencies proliferate faster (even when overestimated).

When pessimists accurately perceive their performance they often can find the motivation to continue. Viewing the situation as unsuccessful, it is easier for a pessimist to classify an activity as an unworthy pursuit. The positivity possessed by optimists provides these individuals with the drive and emotional support to continue, eventually mastering the skills needed, and influencing outcomes. What was once an unrealistic evaluation (by the optimists), over time now becomes reality.

This has powerful applications outside of achievement as well. Looking broadly at human performance, optimists are fighters. We (I fancy myself an optimist) do not go gently into that good night. In the study Optimists vs pessimists: survival rate among medical patients over a 30-year period when a person shows a pessimistic explanatory style (determined by the Optimism-Pessimism scale on the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory assessment) their risk of mortality is 19% higher than someone who is optimistic. Being realistic is often just a defense mechanism of someone who wants to protect you or themselves from the future based on a perceived failure often with roots in a personal failure from their past. Optimists believe the past is not a good determinant of the future, and science backs us up. So if you are an enthusiast of optimizing human performance, dream big, it will suit you well.

While researching positive psychology I have seen the studies that point to a genetic predisposition to happiness. Some researchers in psychology argue that we inherit our ability to be happy and that the level to which we are able to derive satisfaction in life is significantly influenced by our genetic make-up.  However, in the study Long-Running German Panel Survey Shows That Personal and Economic Choices, Not Just Genes, Matter for Happiness researchers observed 60,000 Germans over the span of 25 years, and found that levels of individual happiness actually correlated stronger with setting goals and personal choice and less on genetic factors.

In the long-term, those who value family and personal relationships seem to be happier than those who are focused on material success and/or career advancement, which strengthens the argument about happiness as a choice because personal relationships are an area where we have much better control over external outcomes.  For example, we can decide to be a good friend (or not), but we cannot decide to force our company to give us a promotion.

So how is happiness affected based on personal choice? There are many easy ways we can influence our own behavior that will help improve your mood. One way we can increase happiness is by making a conscious effort to focus on the positive attributes of any given situation. Deciding what to focus on in any given circumstance is a personal choice, and one of the most straightforward ways to increase happiness.  There are more subtle ways as well… For instance, making an effort to keep a mild and friendly pitch when we talk has shown to increase mood. In the study Speech Pitch Frequency as an Emotional State Indicator, evidence suggests that the pitch and tone of our voice reflect and affect our emotional state. Gentler tones will also maintain low stress levels in the people around us.  Another example is, accordingly to the brief report Keep Smiling: Enduring Effect of Facial Expressions and Postures on Emotional Experience and Memory, the simple act of choosing to smile. Simply making an effort to smile more has been shown to have a positive effect on our well-being in numerous ways and happiness is one of them.

In short, current scientific findings are challenging that happiness is somehow outside of our control. Simply being cognizant that you have power over your emotional state, and coming to the realization that you can actively decide how you are effected by certain life events, can help increase your overall happiness in very profound ways. If you have any tactics that work for you, please share them in the comments below.

David Christian is a Professor of History at Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia and is currently collaborating on a venture called the Big History Project with Bill Gates. He gave a talk about the Project at a recent TED conference. Within Dr. Christian’s presentation there was a topic that might be of particular interest to performance psychologists and researchers, which is the concept of “collective Learning”. Dr. Christian credits collective learning as being the catalyst that has allowed humans to flourish, but he also warns that this power might not be completely in our control – highlighting our species complexity and fragility through historical and current events.

Much like DNA is the system that stores biological information, collective learning is a global system that stores our vast body of knowledge. It began to exist the moment human language was created and was immensely empowered further with the advent of the Internet. Collective learning outlasts the knowledge of any one individual and evolves with the passing of each generation. Our ability to share and improve information is what makes humans different than every other known species. It has allowed humans to improve performance and achievement with each passing generation. Honoring the idea of collective learning one is able to learn for others and contribute to the greater good.

Our beliefs are much stronger. Beliefs are often attached to emotional occurrences (ex. not wanting to be overweight) and/or reoccurring events (ex. habitual exercise) which create stronger neural pathways in the brain (than opinions). It is possible to change our beliefs as well but it requires more effort than merely changing an opinion about something. Using the same running analogy, a belief can help you push through fatigue because personal experience and prior accomplishments create resolve.

The highest form of certainty is our convictions. Throughout history many have achieved incredible successes through conviction, where others have created incredible chaos. Using the running analogy, a runner with a conviction to finish might push through an injury to complete a race (at considerable risk).

Convictions are extremely empowering (for better or worse) and can operate indiscriminately of ethical boundaries and common sense. There is much debate in psychology about the formation of convictions. Classic nurture versus nature arguments are applied throughout broad topics ranging from religious convictions to prejudicial ideologies. The truth is there is still a lot we don’t know about how people develop their concepts of certainty.

What we do know is that certainty is needed to help drive decisions and initiate tasks. This should be intuitive… if someone can’t make up their mind this indecisiveness usually leads to inaction, and a lack of action is the quickest way to get nowhere. Peak performers create positive certainty by creating experiences and references that strengthen their beliefs and convictions. In the beginning this can be as simple as gathering information and talking to people that have previous knowledge. Eventually it requires taking continuous action. Action advantageously strengthens certainty and moves opinions to beliefs, and beliefs to convictions, which leads to more positive action so peak performers use this loop to create powerful cycles that lead to continuous improvement.

There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.
– John F. Kennedy

Training and acquiring mastery in anything requires work and practices. The good news is that there are many ways we can train ourselves to improve self-control. Here are 10 tips to increase self-control from the May / June 2011 edition of Scientific American Mind:

1. Become aware of the risks and long term negative consequences of undesirable behavior.
2. Increase your personal engagement by, for example, telling friends about your goals.
3. Transform abstract overarching objectives into intermediate steps of milestones.
4. Take pleasure in achieving partial successes and reaching intermediate milestones.
5. Formulate “if then” resolutions to deal with critical situations.
6. Replace old bad habits with new good ones.
7. Change your impulse by learning to associate the mere sight of temptations with negative stimuli.
8. Identify situations that pose a particular risk and avoid them as much as possible.
9. Train you working memory.
10. Plan enough breaks and relaxation periods to prevent depletion of your mental resources.

If you have any additional tips on how to increase self-control please share them in the comments section below.