When you look in the mirror, do you see Billy Mays?

When you look in the mirror, do you see a prostitute?

When you look in the mirror, do you see a douche bag with an undeserving sense of accomplishment?

For your sake, I hope you answered “No” to all of these questions.

So, when you look at your Twitter profile, do you see the words “online marketing expert,” “evangelist,” “full time blogger,” “social media extraordinaire,” etc.?

Once again, for your sake, I hope you answered “No” to this question as well.

Please excuse my rant today, but I can’t help but notice how Twitter is being invaded by people selling their personal services for professions that don’t exist. (Note: If you have any of these words in your Twitter profile, I’m probably not following you because I despise you).

Evangelists, Online Marketing Experts, Full-Time Bloggers, etc. abuse Twitter daily by turning their profiles and discussions into reoccurring infomercials from hell that are more obnoxious than Billy Mays (which is quite the task). This is their measly attempt to sell their “service,” “knowledge,” “expertise,” (much like a prostitute) or whatever make-believe product/service they have to offer. I can’t help but judge a book by its cover and label these types of people as douche bags when I see a new one is following me. You’re all a dime-a-dozen.

Why is it that people who have spent countless hours staring at their computer screen, and perusing the internet, with no credentials classify themselves as experts in the field of marketing, branding, social media, and countless other professions?

@AmandaChapel says it best when she explains that every time a person is fired or laid off, a full-time blogger, social media expert, evangelist, etc. is born. I couldn’t say it better. (You’re my hero, Amanda)

In a Michigan economy that’s reached the highest unemployment rate since 1984, (Note: our unemployment rate doesn’t even count those that took “buyouts,” which could raise the rate another 2-4%), the last thing we need is more evangelists, full time bloggers, and other non-existant professions.

Please, folks- Stop hoping for the next pet rock and earn your money with hard work and respect for the communication arts and sciences field.

If you’re offended by this post, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry.

]]> http://michaelsavoni.wordpress.com/2009/01/30/is-twitter-becoming-one-giant-infomercial/feed/ 2 michaelsavoni You? Dime-A-Dozen http://michaelsavoni.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/welcome-to-two-thousand-asinine/ http://michaelsavoni.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/welcome-to-two-thousand-asinine/#comments Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:26:52 +0000 michaelsavoni http://michaelsavoni.wordpress.com/?p=223 ]]> What happened to 21 and invincible? What’s with this 23 and a bullseye on my back.

2009? More like 200-AsiNINE.

“I want to read good news
I want to be a little kid again
I want to read good news
But nothing good is happening
I want to read good news
I want to go to sleep at night again
I want to read good news
But nothing good is happening”

Something Corporate – Good News

(Throwwwwback)

That crown belongs to Burger King (ha, pun intended!) Burger King’s recent moves in advertising lead me to think one of two things: Either

1. Jud Apatow and Seth Rogen are baking out in the back of a van while drafting some storyboards for Burger King’s advertising department, which is finding their hash-induced work of art a strong appeal to obesity for the general public
2. Burger King has replaced meat on their menu for solidified grease patties, allowing them to spend their extra money on endless advertising.

Although both may be true, one thing is certain- the last thing this world needs is obese loners- which is what Buger King is asking today’s tech-savvy generation to do. That’s right, Burger King is asking Facebook members to “un-friend” their friends (become loners) in exchange for a Whopper (obesity).

This is just the newest stunt in their bag of tricks- before this, it was all about “Whopper Virgins” and “Reverse Pickpocketing”, and before that it was the brilliant “Whopper Freakout“.

What’s next from Burger King? Replacing the “Extra Value Menu” with the “Extra Calorie Menu”?

Although these ridiculous, racy moves Burger King has been making may have slightly hurt their image, I’ve got to give them credit for what they’ve done. The chain has established themselves as a leader in incorporating advertising, online marketing, viral marketing, social media, etc. into their campaigns. And, they’ve got the attention of the entire world.

So, what’s your opinion- Is this the worst move since “Diet Beer”? Or is it worthy of the crown?

The government’s actions, combined with piss poor media coverage and a raunchy blend of ignorance and cognitive dissonance have taken us to where we currently rest in terms of the perception of the U.S. Auto Industry- 6 feet underground.

Yesterday, as an attempt to clear some things up about the current situation with the automotive industry, the president of the PR firm that I currently work for sent out a rather intriguing e-mail to our clients and affilliates- An e-mail that made me crave a Budweiser, Marlboro Red,  2010 Camaro, an oversized bald eagle tattoo across my chest and an American flag draped across my back. His e-mail made me proud to be an American.

It’s rather lengthy, but well worth the five minutes spent reading. Check it out:

“Dear partners –

Our office, our families and our entire state of Michigan has been glued to the news the past few weeks watching the auto bridge loan saga unfold. Political views aside, it has been a fascinating PR issue. It’s clear that the domestic industry has done a poor job reaching out to Washington and the rest of the country for too many years. As PR professionals, one of our objectives is always to make sure that information in the news is accurate, so I cringe with nearly every article or newscast I see that talks about the auto bailouts (point #1…it’s a loan, not a bailout). So, I am on a bit of a crusade to set the record straight wherever possible.

Each of you are leaders in the world of public opinion; if I may, I’d like to share a few myths/facts about the auto industry that perhaps you could share at holiday parties if the topic comes up (though, if the auto industry is coming up at your holiday parties, it might be time to examine your circle of friends). Much of this information comes from the Detroit Free Press, theengineofdemocracy.com and industry sources.

Myth No. 1: Nobody buys the vehicles of the Big 3

Reality: GM, Ford and Chrysler sold 8.5 million vehicles in the United States last year. GM outsold Toyota by about 1.2 million vehicles in the United States last year and holds a lead over Toyota of nearly 700,000 so far this year. Globally, GM in 2007 remained the world’s largest automaker, selling 9,369,524 vehicles worldwide — about 3,000 more than Toyota. Ford outsold Honda by 850,000 and Nissan by more than 1.3 million vehicles in the United States last year. Chrysler sold more vehicles here than Nissan and Hyundai combined in 2007 and so far this year.

The #1 and #2 top-selling vehicles in this country are from GM and Ford, and 5 of the top 10 are made by the Big 3.

There are over 40 car-producing companies globally…3 companies, Ford, GM and Chrysler, account for more than 50% of market share of the cars sold around the world. Somebody’s buying their vehicles.

Myth No. 2: Their cars are built poorly

Reality: The creaky, leaky vehicles of the 1980s and ’90s are long gone. Consumer Reports recently found that “Ford’s reliability is now on par with good Japanese automakers.” The independent J.D. Power Initial Quality Study scored Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, Ford, GMC, Mercury, Pontiac and Lincoln brands’ overall quality as high as or higher than that of Acura, Audi, BMW, Honda, Nissan, Scion, Volkswagen and Volvo.

J.D. Power rated the Chevrolet Malibu the highest-quality midsize sedan. Both the Malibu and Ford Fusion scored better than the Honda Accord and Toyota Camry. The 2008 Chevy Silverado earned the highest ranking in the Large Truck category; the Dodge Dakota and Ford Ranger were #1 and 2 for Midsize Pickup initial quality.

The 2008 North American Car of the Year was the Chevy Malibu; in 2007, it was the Saturn Aura, and the Truck of the Year was the Chevy Silverado.

If you look at recalls in 2008, the worst auto companies (those with the most recalls as a percent of sales) in North America are 1. Hyundai, 2. Mitsubishi, 3. Volkswagen and 4. Nissan. The only domestic automaker to break the top 5 in recall rates is GM, which is essentially tied with Mercedes.

Have you driven any of their cars lately? The Cadillac CTS, the Chevy Malibu, the Ford Fusion, the Buick Enclave, the Dodge Grand Caravan, and so many others…incredible, innovative cars. These are not the Citations and Pintos of the early ‘80s.

Myth No. 3: They build gas-guzzlers

Reality: All of the Detroit Three build midsize sedans that the Environmental Protection Agency rates at 29-33 miles per gallon on the highway. The most fuel-efficient Chevrolet Malibu gets 33 m.p.g. on the highway, 2 m.p.g. better than the best Honda Accord. The most fuel-efficient Ford Focus has the same highway fuel economy ratings as the most efficient Toyota Corolla. The most fuel-efficient Chevrolet Cobalt has the same city fuel economy and better highway fuel economy than the most efficient non-hybrid Honda Civic.

And consider this: GM has 2 times as many models that get 30 mpg or better than its nearest competitor. GM also has 8 hybrids on the road today with a total of 20 planned by 2012. Its 2-Mode Chevy Tahoe full-size SUV was named Green Car of the Year in Los Angeles last November. And the new Ford Fusion Hybrid and Mercury Milan Hybrid beat the Toyota Camry Hybrid by 6 miles per gallon.

Myth No. 4: They already got a $25-billion bailout

Reality: None of that money has been lent out and may not be for more than a year. In addition, it can, by law, be used only to invest in future energy-efficient vehicles and technology, so it has no effect on the shortage of operating cash the companies face because of the economic slowdown that’s killing them now.

An interesting point here – it’s reported that the Japanese government paid for the R&D for the Toyota Prius, a 10-year project that cost nearly $100 billion.

Myth No. 5: GM, Ford and Chrysler are idiots for investing in pickups and SUVs

Reality: The domestics’ lineup has been truck-heavy, but Toyota, Nissan, Mercedes-Benz and BMW have spent billions of dollars on pickups and SUVs because trucks are a large and historically profitable part of the auto industry.

The most fuel-efficient full-size pickups from GM, Ford and Chrysler all have higher EPA fuel-economy ratings than Toyota and Nissan’s full-size pickups.

Myth No. 6: Their workers are lazy and overpaid

Reality: Chrysler tied Toyota as the most productive automaker in North America this year, according to the Harbour Report on manufacturing, which measures the amount of work done per employee. Eight of the 10 most productive vehicle assembly plants in North America belong to Chrysler, Ford or GM. And GM has more plants today leading their respective segments in productivity than any other competitor, foreign or domestic.

Those opposed to the bridge loan often cite the $70-an-hour wage and benefit figure for UAW workers. This figure inaccurately adds benefits that millions of retirees get to the pay of current workers, but divides the total only by current employees. That’s like assuming you get your parents’ retirement and Social Security benefits in addition to your own income.

Hourly pay for assembly line workers maxes out at $28; benefits add about $14. New hires at the Detroit Three get $14 an hour. There’s no pension or health care when they retire, but benefits raise their total hourly compensation to $29 while they’re working. UAW wages are now comparable with Toyota workers, according to a Free Press analysis. Overall, labor makes up just 10% of the cost to produce a vehicle…’labor’ is not the real cause of the current state of the industry, the economy is.

Myth No. 7: The Big Three are dinosaurs and have done nothing to improve their bottom lines

Reality: Ford was profitable in the first quarter of 2008 before the economic crisis began. The company has been working for two years on improving its balance sheet through aggressive restructuring while accelerating the development of safe, fuel-efficient and high quality products.

GM has reduced structural costs in North America by $9 billion since 2005; eliminated raises and bonuses for executives and salaried employees; and aggressively addressed its manufacturing footprint, shifting from trucks and SUVs to smaller cars and crossovers.

Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler in the late 90s, stripped it down like an abandoned car, and spit it back out. Its new owner, Cerberus, is acting fast to improve its foundation; the economic downturn could not have come at a worse time for this company.

Myth No. 8: Letting them die won’t affect me

Reality: The auto industry provides $293 billion in annual economic benefit to this country. If the domestic automakers do not receive this loan to help them weather the economic downturn and credit crunch brought on by the financial markets, the manufacturing base of the U.S. is in jeopardy. The reason Toyota, Honda and others assemble some of their cars is because of the Big 3. If the Big 3 disappear, there will be little reason for the others to continue manufacturing here.

The auto industry is a complicated, far-reaching industry that impacts millions of jobs. For example, the automotive supplier industry, which would face a disastrous domino effect should the Big 3 fail, employs 4.5 million people in the U.S. alone. The supplier industry is the largest manufacturing employer in seven states (Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee).

In the days following 9/11, the president went to the Big 3 and requested they do something to get the economy going. In addition to sending hundreds of vehicles and tens of millions of dollars to aid victims and the city, the companies quickly introduced its “Get America Moving” program with 0% financing and incentives on vehicles. The companies stepped up again to aid the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Go back to World War II when, again at the request of our government, the companies stopped producing cars to instead make tanks, armor, ammunition and supplies to support our troops. These actions were taken without hesitation, complaint or question, to support the country…the same one that now seems to take joy in stepping on them.

It is easily arguable that a domestic manufacturing base is essential to national security. Other governments seem to understand this notion. In Germany, the government agreed last month to $1.25 billion in loan guarantees to its auto industry. The French government has agreed to a $1.9 billion boost for its auto industry, the provision of a $1300 bonus to car buyers who trade in their old cars on a new, more fuel efficient one, and $400 million in state aid for R&D and restructuring costs. The Swedish government has agreed to provide over $3 billion in the form of credit guarantees, loans, and R&D investment to Volvo and Saab. And Australia recently announced $4.2 billion of taxpayer funds would be made available to make the Australian auto industry economically and environmentally sustainable by 2020. Industry minister Kim Carr noted that between 2001 and 2007 the auto industry received $2.5 billion in assistance under the automotive competitiveness and investment scheme and spent 10 times that amount on plants, equipment, research and development, wages, salaries and taxes.

The automakers are requesting a bridge loan, not a bailout as Wall Street has done. The companies need the loan – which they will pay back with interest as they have done before – because the U.S. credit freeze has essentially closed capital markets and squeezed their cash flow from operations that are being devastated by extremely low consumer demand across the industry. This freeze happened as the automakers are in the midst of huge restructuring costs, heavy pension and health care payments and massive-yet-crucial product and advanced technology investments so that today’s and tomorrow’s vehicles are even safer and more environmentally friendly.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening, and please feel free to share this information. If there’s a side or point I’m not considering, please let me know – I welcome any thoughts and views you have on the issue. Now get out there and test drive some vehicles!

All the best,

Tom”

Get excited...

But, how can we overcome this?

Tactics? Strategy?

What to do? The grass is green on both sides.

Time for a cost-benefit analysis-

Now I’m starting to understand why I should have paid attention attended Economics class back in college.

What’s your strategy when it comes to life-altering decisions?

Prior to beginning my career, I had unlimited time to kill. So, I spent a couple hours in the gym everyday to reverse the high caloric intake from the previous night’s binge (Yes, college will do that to you).

The luxury of time finally came to and end when a new door opened up, leading in a foreign direction in my life: a trip down my career path.

As a young professional working a 7a-7p day, I began to find it hard to make time for exercise. That, and a surgery that hopefully salvaged my running career, put a damper on my efforts to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

But, recently, I put together a plan to get back on track. Upon completing my final session (let’s pray) of physical therapy, I made a commitment- I purchased a membership to a local gym.

Is my goal to look like this?

(Absolutely NOT)

My goal is to maintain a healthy lifestyle so I can live long enough to need Viagra.

Just like any other commitment (like I should be talking about commitments…), even if there isn’t time, you must make time.

Time spent on personal health today is time earned in the future. If you can’t get away from the economical cost-benefit analysis, think of making time for your health today as an investment for your future.

What’s your biggest issue when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle? Time? Money? Energy?

Meaning, the majority of species can survive without a backbone.

But, what about a figurative backbone? Does that mean there’s a (slight) chance Michigan could survive without its backbone (Automotive Industry)?

Or, will Michigan fail?

Was F. Scott Fitzgerald correct when he said, “Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.”

Or, better yet, will Michigan stand tall and overcome the crisis?

Alcohol.

For $49, young public relations professionals were granted access to the exclusive second floor gathering, filled with food, drink tickets, and a handful of some of the finest young minds in the public relations industry. But, what wasn’t included in the $49 ticket was the ability to perform the expected task: networking.

Surprisingly, alcohol wasn’t the answer to reducing introversion and producing extroverts. Attendees were too focused on shoveling in food from the buffet and downing liquid courage (delectable microbrews and ostentatious fine wines) to notice one common theme- segregation.

The room was divided into groups (most of which were designated by each YP’s representing company). These groups failed to interact with other groups. Conversations were exclusive to those involved in each group. The closest groups came to interacting with one another was an awkward glance over, followed by a quick glance in the opposite direction.

It took me back to my days in middle school- you know, “Face to face, leave some space.” The kind of middle school dance where all the girls still had cooties and all the guys were way too cool to be seen on the dance floor bustin’ a move (guilty as charged). Aside from the pubescent misconceptions, the only thing missing was a playlist full of Sugar Ray, Len, Blink-182 and Shaggy.

And, don’t get me wrong- my coworkers and I were no different from any others. We stayed at our table and failed to branch out and meet other newbies (aside from chatting with those we know from the glory days of college). But, I believe we at least deserve a brownie point for adopting a lonesome @DGoodrich who had to bravely make the journey alone.

As the YP’s began dropping like flies as victims of the early work day, we began to see the first movement in the room (once again, aside from those craving ‘seconds’ from the buffet) since everyone entered and retreated to their safe place.

When I got the “I’m ready to leave when you are” from a coworker, I took the hint to stand up, say my goodbyes, and begin the journey home.

What’s wrong with this situation? We’re the youth of the nation. The go-getters. The risk-takers. The outgoing group of professionals. We’re members of Generation Y- a group of individuals that can MacGuyver their way into, or out of, any situation that comes their way.

But, we couldn’t network.

Why is this? Are you one of those people that fails to take advantage of ideal networking situations like this one? Are you Willy the Wallflower? Phyllis the Phone checker? Bob the Beer drinker? Or are you Nancy the Networker?

This isn’t intended to be a bash on our generation, nor a negative assessment of the great event put on by the PRSA New Professionals Affinity Group. Rather, this was a call for action. A kick start to get our generation to live up to their hype. So, let’s get out there, fight the urge to be shy, and network in person the way we network using social networking – with no fear.

Why?

Because movie producers are finding it economically feasible to hit the road and take advantage of Michigan’s film incentive program. But, how long will the program last?

And, can Detroit really be the Capital of the Automotive Industry and the Capital of the Entertainment industry? Well, the auto industry is going to need to shape up if it’s going to last. If all else fails, we could always use the excess silicon from the automotive suppliers to use in… well… certain parts of the entertainment industry.

Can Detroit transform (hah, get it?) from one of the most unhealthy states with poor air quality and high crime rates into a health-conscious, sushi eating, wheat grass shot-taking, ego-maniacal state? Oh, and will we get our own version of Variety? I find it hard to imagine the dissipation of Ford and General Motors cars, and an exponential growth of Leonardo DiCaprio followers cruising the Detroit streets in their Toyota Priuses.

Regardless, the facts don’t lie. In the past month, we’ve seen Sigourney Weaver filming in Royal Oak, Drew Barrymore filming in Northville, and Clint Eastwood filming in Troy. Oh yea, and Sex and the City’s PR Star, Kim Cattrall, and Brian Dennehy filming in Metro-Detroit for Miss January, which takes me to where we are now.

Filming for Miss January finished up on Wednesday (10/15), followed by the wrap party at Bar Louie in Laurel Park. Why do I know this? Because my best friend of many years, David, worked on set as a production assistant (gopher) for the filming, and invited me as his (heterosexual) “date” to the wrap party and after party. During the party, an overworked, underslept cast, crew, and families smiled, talked, and tinked their glasses together in honor of their endless hours of hard work coming to an end. Producer Keith Bearden, and main actors Dustin Ingram and Kim Cattrall shared laughs and drinks in their first stress-free environment in months.

But, Kim shared a little more than that. In the form of a glorious kiss with me. And I liked it.

After a great night at the exclusive wrap party, I decided I had to draw the line and be somewhat responsible, knowing that it was a Wednesday night, and the alarm would sound at 5 a.m. regardless how tired/hungover I might be. So, I guess I learned a few things:

1. I want to be rich and famous (I’ll get right on that)
2. I am learning how to be a responsible young professional (more to come in a S.T.A.B.L.E. post)
3. I value my friends more than anything else in this world. (Thank you, David)