Was your birthday entered incorrectly? That’s OK, because your mom will correct your birth date when she signs up with the company and tells us she’s your mother. Your parents will let the company know where they’re living and where you used to live. Your brother will inform the company of your entire extended family. Did you leave your alma mater blank? No problem, the company already knows where you went to school because your best friend already entered your information from their iphone. In fact, your friend, who just became Mayor of the Starbucks on 5th and Main Street, told us where you’re eating dinner tonight. And where you are at this very minute.

But wait, there’s more. Friends and family will upload photos of you, your kids, meal, car, license plate, street, home and even your dog. Your friends will even tag your name to the photo. And if you’re really lucky, no boundaries Batman will upload a photo of you during a routine doctors visit. See SNL Batman Digital Short video below.

Think your strict online privacy settings will prevent you telemarketing? Not a problem. Just because your mom can’t see what you’ve been doing doesn’t mean it’s not there. The company has your entire life and information stored on their server. Forever.

Now you can get advertising targeted specifically for you based on the personal data that’s been disguised as a profile page. Online advertisers will send you the right ads even though you’re still in the closet but don’t worry, we won’t tell your mom.

And that’s not all. If you deactivate your account, friends can still tag and invite you to events because you’re still in our database! That’s right, folks… we’re so dedicated to keeping your life on our server that even if you delete your information…you won’t even know which friends are still providing a window into your life.

One last thing, should you decide to delete your own personal life….we’re keeping photos of your children because we’re creepy. And we know where you live.

Michele: writer, culture, policy, politics, tech + mom blog - writing on culture, policy, politics, tech, apps, video games, parenting, photos, sports and sometimes a what is...

For those who think media’s Primary Polls influence voters, feel free to vote in the GOP Primary Poll below.  This primary poll isn’t which candidate you believe is most likely to win the presidential election. This primary poll for which candidate your boyfriend or girlfriend likes.  And this isn’t a primary poll for which candidate you think has the most television coverage.

This is an American gut primary poll.  Which GOP Primary candidate has the best message and strategy for Americans.  If voting today, would you vote for Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney or Rick Santorum?

Percentage results will appear after your vote.

Michele: writer, culture, policy, politics, tech + mom blog - writing on culture, policy, politics, tech, apps, video games, parenting, photos, sports and sometimes a what is...