The Mid Life Opportunity

Grants for World War II Veterans - Can You Help?

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 09:01:26 PST

Many Midlifers have parents and grandparents who fought in World War II. A grant is available during 2012 to enable these veterans to revisit the theatres of war in which they fought.

The letter published below, from Ted Cachart, gives details and an offer of assistance.

Please pass on/tweet these details to ensure that a wide audience is reached, enabling our veterans and/or their surviving spouses to return and pay their respects to fallen friends and companions.

Ted Cachart

4 Cottage Close

Heage, Belper,Derbyshire.

DE 56 2BS

Tel: 01773 853 181

e mail: ted@49squadron.co.uk

Chairman of the 49 Squadron Association

Dear Sir or Madam,

BIG LOTTERY FUND GRANTS FOR VETERAN TO RETURN TO THEIR

THEATER OF WAR NOW EXTENDED TO DECEMBER 31ST OF 2012

As a former member of Bomber Command I am writing to you on behalf of World War II veterans who, due to a lack of advertising, may not have been aware that in 2011 financial grants, Heroes Return II, were available from the Big Lottery Fund to enable veterans to pay a visit of remembrance to the theatre of war that they were involved in.

Veterans, male or female, widows, and widowers of veterans, can all apply. The offer also extends to- Merchant Seamen, as well as WAAF’s, WREN’s and ATS who worked closely with active personnel.

It appears that the number of veterans claiming these grants were far less than anticipated resulting in these grants being extended during 2012. It would be extremely helpful if you can find space in your publication to make these details known so that veterans, who will now be aged 85 and over, may still take advantage of these grants and plan a visit. There is a further grant available (where required) for an accompanying carer.

The grants range from £150 to cover travel and accommodation for veteran, spouse and carer, within the UK, £1,300 to Northern Europe and £5.500 to the Far East.

As I have received a grant for a visit I made last December, I would be more than willing to advise any of your readers on how and where to claim..

It would also be most helpful, and if you have time and space, to reproduce this letter on your web edition.

My name, email address and telephone number may be published ,

Ted Cachart

Where Have All the Jobs Gone?

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 08:24:00 PST

Do you ever wonder where all the jobs have gone?

Where Have All the Jobs Gone?

Top 4 Reasons Why Most Career Dreams Fail

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 04:28:35 PST

Guest Post by Kathy Caprino

In my work as a career coach and speaker, I interact with thousands of highly functional, achievement- oriented professionals with fantastic gifts, talents and skills who have BIG career dreams. But despite their talent, intellect and enthusiasm for building an awesome career, many won’t get there, not even close.

In today’s challenging times, professionals are longing too to discover their “life purpose” – the one unifying theme they think will bring them the joy, fulfillment, and meaning they desperately yearn for. But a vast majority won’t be successful on that front either. Not for lack of trying or laziness — but because they are looking in all the wrong places, and taking actions that propel them backward or sideways, but not forward.

Why do so many career dreams crash and burn?

I’ve observed four key behaviors that guarantee you won’t achieve your deepest career hopes and dreams.

Below are the top 4 behaviors that will kill your dreams:

1) You’re doing the WRONG things to get what you want
The vast majority of professionals today can’t identify what they really want to create and achieve in their lives. They’re in the dark about themselves and their deepest longings.

But there are some people who DO know what they want, and can articulate it clearly, with passion. Unfortunately, among those who are clear, many aren’t taking the right steps to get there.

Here’s an example: I know hundreds of stressed-out, overwhelmed corporate women who long for more balance, control and flexibility. Suddenly, in a desperate hunt for a new way to work, they embrace the belief that chucking their corporate life and launching an entrepreneurial venture will be the answer to their prayers. The problem is, an entrepreneurial life is not suited to everyone, and is certainly no antidote for work-life imbalance.

What they don’t understand is that there are certain core values, mindsets, traits, and behaviors essential for entrepreneurial success (see Michael Gerber’s book E-Myth Revisited about why so many small businesses fail). It takes an amazing amount of effort, skill, know-how, leadership talent and vision to make it work. Going into business for yourself just to get more work-life balance is the wrong move. Other motivators and factors have to be in the mix, or your business will fail (see the harsh data on small business failure rates).

In the end, thousands of professionals choose the wrong “form” of work in an attempt fulfill the right “essence” of what they want. They know what they want, but have taken a misguided path to get it. Then, after crushing failure, they give up and stop moving forward.

2) You quit too early
You and I know hundreds of people who have deep longings to contribute to the world in powerful ways. The problem is, they want to contribute at this level NOW. They’re impatient for the reward and want it yesterday, without making the commitment.

People who have risen to the top of their field and are making a large contribution in the world, by and large have worked for many years to refine their craft, perfect their messages, amass knowledge and expertise, and close their gaps. They have demonstrated intensive long-term commitment and incredible courage – walking through walls of fear and resistance to make the impact they want to.

If immediate gratification is what you want or expect, you’ll give up and turn back long before you arrive at your destination.

3) You’ve confused a career with a “calling”
A job and a calling are very different. They require different things of us. Many people think their career dream is to have a “calling” and they yearn for that. What they don’t know is that a calling is a vision so compelling that you can’t stop yourself from wrapping your entire identity around it (even if you don’t want to), even to the detriment of your bank account, your relationships and your health.

People romanticize about a calling, just as they idealize “love.” A calling is not something that you choose – it chooses you. And when it does, it exacts a large price.

Neither a job or a calling are better than the other; they’re just different. There are costs and benefits to both. But you can’t fabricate a calling out of thin air, so longing for one is a fruitless endeavor.

he key to creating a fulfilling career is to find the right path for you that makes you feel passionate, powerful and purposeful, and motivates you to be all you can be. Stop wishing for what others have, and start creating the best version of you — your authentic self.

4) You’re too scared to stretch big enough
Finally, the biggest obstacle in the way of achieving large career dreams is an unwillingness to do the internal and external “stretching” necessary to get you where you want to go. The stark reality is that you can’t go from Point A to Point Z without transforming yourself. To have a fantastic career, you have to continually stretch and expand yourself far beyond your comfort zone and learn to walk directly into experiences that would scare the “old you” to death.

You can’t be a thought leader without doing the intimidating work of being on the leading edge with your thoughts. You can’t be a moving public speaker if you shy away from using your voice authentically. You’ve got to do the work of expansion.

To achieve big career dreams you also have to overcome your resistance around getting help. Many are deeply afraid of looking foolish or exposing their vulnerability. Or they simply refuse to invest in themselves (financially or otherwise) to grow. But you can’t do great things in a vacuum, all by yourself, without support.

If you long for the validation, recognition, respect, power, and self-esteem that come from an amazing career, then you have to earn them, by stretching yourself beyond what you thought possible and wrestling down your fears and looking your demons squarely in the eyes.

For the record, I believe wholeheartedly in dreaming BIG and having expansive career visions. I wouldn’t have reinvented my career successfully without them. But if you want to achieve your highest career goals, don’t make these mistakes. Figure out exactly what you want (take my Career Path Self-Assessment for a start). Then do what it takes to reach your goals in a planful, realistic and committed way. Don’t be fooled about the energy and effort it will take. Remember – a fantastic career takes fantastic risk.

Do you have the courage and the right stuff to make your career visions are reality, and are you taking the right steps?

Kathy Caprino, M.A. is a national women's work-life expert, career and leadership coach, speaker, and author of Breakdown Breakthrough. Founder/President of Ellia Communications -- a career and executive consulting firm dedicated to the advancement of women in business -- Kathy is a top media source on current career topics and trends, a Forbes contributor, and frequent invited speaker. For more information on Kathy's leadership and executive training programs or career coaching services, please visit www.elliacommunications.com. Follow Kathy on Twitter @kathycaprino, FB, and Linkedin.

5 Life Lessons to Learn from Sharks

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:31:23 PST

What life lessons can we humans learn from the predator of the deep? Apart from the obvious ‘don’t go swimming with them’, here are some other thoughts:

1. Sharks form Symbiotic Relationships
Fish called Remoras and Pilot Fish both form symbiotic relationships with sharks – relationships in which both parties benefit.
The Remoras eat any of the shark’s leftovers that they can find (the Remoras benefit) and also eat the parasites off of the shark’s skin (the shark benefits)
The Pilot Fish cleans the sharks teeth and skin (the shark benefits) whilst being protected from predators by the shark (the Pilot Fish benefits).

Do you form symbiotic relationships? Do you give as well as receive? Of are you just a Taker? Takers tend to win battles and lose wars...

2. Sharks can manage on their own or work together with other sharks
All sharks can operate as individuals. Some species more than others operate in packs – Scalloped Hammerheads, in particular, like to stick together. At times, working alone is fine. At other times, a group is needed to get the job done.
The point here is that the shark is adaptable to the circumstances prevailing at the time.

Are you?

3. Sharks have a reputation which goes before them
Most (sensible) people treat sharks with a great deal of respect. We don’t expect to go swimming with a Great White Shark and come out with all of our body parts intact. They have a reputation which we respect, whether it is true or not.

What is your reputation? What do your colleagues think of you? What is your online reputation – Google your name and find out. Now is perhaps the time to ‘hide’ some of those photos on Facebook...

4. Sharks go where they will find food (or a mate)
Sharks have amazing senses and can pick up sounds and smells at long distances. They move toward their food sources, following their senses. They congregate where they know that they will find food. They don’t swim aimlessly around hoping for something to float across their path. They may, though, swim thousands of miles to find a mate – but they know where they are heading.

When you advertise yourself or your business, do you know the best places to invest your money? Do you target the best websites and offline media? Take a lesson from the shark and ‘swim where you’ll find food’ - or a job, or a sale (or a mate...)

5. There are many different types of shark
When we think of sharks we generally think of ‘Jaws’, the Great White Shark. In fact, there are 354 species of sharks, 90% of which have never attacked a human. So when you hear the word ‘shark’ don’t always jump to the conclusion that the conversation is about Great White Sharks. Your colleague may be talking about swimming with Whale Sharks, a filter feeding species of shark that has a mouth over a metre wide but feeds on nothing larger than microscopic plankton.

Don’t jump to conclusions about people or organisations before you are sure of your facts – you could miss out on real opportunities.

=======================================

The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance on Relationships, Career and Midlife Lifestyles is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Join here FREE!

Does Job Security Matter to You?

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 11:08:41 PST

Guest Post from Simon Stapleton:

It feels like our jobs have been under threat for years… doesn’t it? With the recession starting back in 1998 with no improvement since, job security is something that many of us are feeling unsure about. How do you feel?

Take a look at this table of top ten jobs of 2010 in the US (from CNN). Note the top job roles, and levels of perceived job security. Then take a look at the table from the year before. Spot the differences? You’ll see a major drop in job security figures in 2010 from 2009, and a whole different set of top ten jobs. So how will it look this year, do you think? (I’ll announce when the figures are published, so follow my RSS feed!) I doubt, very much, there will be any improvement. Looks scary, don’t it?

But wait.
Earlier in the year, I wrote What Is Job Security (and does it really exist?) Job security is very dependent on our own outlook. It’s a feeling, connected with emotions, and it’s subjective. We won’t be told not to worry.
Job security can’t be given to us. We gotta feel it.

If the economy were to suddenly bounce back, would that change our sense of job security? Probably, but not directly. First, we’d need to believe that a fixed economy actually results in more assurance that our jobs are safe. The responsibility will still be ours.

It will still matter.

Adjusting our Perception
We’re all being subjected to a heap of news full of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD). TV, blogs… it’s everywhere. I’m having the odd sleepless night about it – are you? But here’s the thing – the ‘soothsayers’ who broadcast the FUD are only giving us a macro-level view – stuff that concerns the global, national, state or city-wide problem.

Your own particular situation, however, is unique to you. We gotta look at that too.

Our sense of job security is rooted in the work we do, the value we create, the skills we possess and the opportunities we can grasp. These things matter too – and much more than what we see on CNN. So look harder at them.

Take an objective view:

Understand what your work does in your organization, and its impact on it
Identify the skills you have, and not just the ones you write on your resume
Identify the opportunities you have – whether you’re taking them or not
Think about the journey you have been on since you began your career, and how far you have come
Spend a little time jotting them down.

I am 100% confident that you will feel better about your situation afterwards. This ‘taking stock’ is a reminder that there is more to job security than news tells us. Job security DOES matter. And because it matters to us, it’s within our control.

The new Mid Life Opportunity site is now live...

The new Mid Life Opportunity website is now live...

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 11:53:59 PST

Stimulation, Advice, Guidance and Support for people in midlife everywhere ... with a dash of humour along the way.

The Mid Life Opportunity blog will soon be moving to the new blog on the website - more details to follow.

Come and see for yourself and why not register while you're there..

www.MidLifeOp.com

Midlife Humour

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 09:59:14 PDT

Some midlife humour to brighten your week...

Will I live to see 90?

Here's something to think about:

I recently moved to a new doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 90?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or spirits?

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, walking, or cycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have lots of sex?'

'No,' I said...

He looked at me and said,..

Then, why do you even give a shit?

=================================

Stopped by the police at 1am

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

====================================

Sensitivity Training

A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral.
However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

The Master Chief answered, "Why yes sir. I couldn't help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes sir, you seem to be short one ear."

The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one bleedin' ear."

=============================

Don't forget Steve Preston's Career Master Class

For Midlifers everywhere - www.MidLifeOp.com - don't waste your Mid Life Opportunity...

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 07:43:49 PDT

Last month I mentioned Steve Preston's Career Transition Masterclass in a post.

Steve has now added one more date for 2011 - Friday 11th November.
So, if you are at a Career Crossroads, looking for a change of role, thinking about moving to a new employer or maybe you've been made redundant or your current job is under threat - put Friday 11th November in your diary.

The last Masterclass, in September, was a sell out and if you click on the link you can see a 1 minute video made by one of the participants.

The day includes an action packed 8 hours full of individual and group activities and coaching with a small group (maximum 6 people) of talented like minded professional people all at a career crossroads and looking to change something about their life and career.

Plus: 60 minutes of follow up telephone coaching!

For details, see Career Transition Masterclasses

If you can't get to London on 11th November, Steve also runs a very informative Career Transition ecourse, available to download now. This contains 12 sections and 14 - 16 hours of content - invaluable if you are serious about landing that new role!

For detail, see Career Transition ecourse.

Please mention The Mid Life Opportunity when booking.

Good luck!

The Mid Life Guide to Losing Weight ...

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 05:25:20 PDT

The Mid Life Devil’s Advocate – Losing weight

Most of us would like to be slimmer and we have all (almost without exception) tried to lose weight at some point. Midlife is a time when we are prone to putting on weight and dieting becomes more important in our lives – at least for those of us who worry about these things.

So we do our research and find out which is the best diet for our own particular body and our own particular lifestyle. When I was doing my degree, some years ago now, one of my friends went on a ‘beer diet’. He didn’t eat for 5 days, but carried on drinking beer every evening. He did lose weight but this is definitely not to be recommended!

We might try the Atkins diet, the cabbage diet, the ‘this’ diet and the ‘that’ diet and we lose some weight. Hooray. So what’s the problem?

The job of the Mid Life Devil’s Advocate is to help you to understand the reality of dieting. The Advocate isn’t trying to dissuade you from dieting, quite the reverse. He just wants to give you the reality of what you’re contemplating.

So what is the Devil’s Advocate’s view of dieting? Here are some points to ponder:

Statistically, most of us don’t keep our weight off when we finish our diets – so why bother?
To maintain a constant healthy weight, men need 2,500 calories per day, women need 2,000 calories per day – not fair, but that’s the way it is.
So anything more than this will be stored in the body as fat.
All the things you like to eat are fattening – it’s one of the laws of nature:

A Big Mac and medium fries (UK size) contains about 800 calories.
A Danish Pastry contains nearly 300 calories
100g of chocolate contains about 500 calories
100g of popcorn contains about 400 calories
A traditional Christmas dinner contains about 1,000 calories
A medium size tub of potato salad contains about 1,000 calories
A decent BLT sandwich contains 800 calories
A Caesar Salad (which you might expect to be low in calories) contains about 750 calories (it’s the dressing)

On the other hand:

An apple contains about 50 calories
A portion of carrots contains about 15 calories
You can see where this is going …

You need to have a calorie deficiency of 3,500 calories to lose a pound in weight – so, if you’re a man and you eat 2,000 calories per day (2.5 decent Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwiches) you will lose 1lb per week. It’s a long haul.
So willpower and staying power are important. Do you have will power?
You will start off very confidently – then you get hungry.
You won’t lose much weight in the first few days so you lose your enthusiasm.
You decide to keep a food diary – you conveniently forget to write down the biscuits that you eat with your coffee.
You do very well during most of the day and then start nibbling while you’re watching TV. And you don’t nibble apples …
You decide to have just one alcoholic drink – then two, then three. Fun, but alcohol is loaded with calories.
A bag of crisps (fries) has about 200 calories in it – that’s a small bag though, not the big ones!
Cereals for breakfast are a healthy option and the adverts tell us that there aren’t too many calories in a portion. True, but not the portion size that you eat!
You will lose weight if you use more calories than you consume. So you decide to do more exercise. This makes you hungry and you eat more.
You join a Gym on January 1^st. On February 1^st your membership lapses.
Exercise is hard work and you decide that, rather than exercise, you will eat less. This is hard work too.
It’s the QUANTITY of food that counts. It’s all very well eating the right type of foods but you mustn’t eat large quantities of food. You know this but you still eat Seconds, sometimes Thirds.
When you have friends for dinner you cook a lot of food, saying that you don’t want your guests to starve and any leftovers can be eaten the next day. You eat it all anyway, because it’s there, on the table, looking at you.
You go out for drinks with your friends and you’re really good. Slimline drinks all evening. Then one of your friends suggests going for a curry or a kebab. Oh dear, all that effort wasted!
You will soon start to believe that the bathroom scales are broken.

If you are keen to go on a diet, don’t let the Mid Life Devil’s Advocate put you off. The points above are all exaggerated (apart from the calorie contents) to give you a real flavour of what’s in store for you.

If you feel that you need to lose weight, then try to lose some of your excess pounds. Just understand that you’re in it for the long haul. It’s really about a lifestyle change more than a short term diet and you need to understand this. Try making some simple changes – stop having sugar in your drinks, use semi-skimmed milk, don’t eat after 8pm, only put butter/spread on one side of your sandwich (and not too much butter/spread either!) These are simple changes which add up.

Remember – taking in more calories than you use up will lead to weight gain. Pig out occasionally by all means, but make sure you restrict yourself afterwards to make up for it.

Good luck,

The Devil’s Advocate

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The Mid Life Opportunity (www.MidLifeOp.com) is a community for Mid Lifers. Advice and Guidance will soon be available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join so what are you waiting for? Join hereFREE!

Are You at a Career Crossroads?

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 08:59:16 PDT

Are you at a Career Crossroads? Perhaps you're looking for a change of role, thinking about moving to a new employer or maybe you've been made redundant or your current job is under threat.

Worried? Most people are not keen on change, particularly when change is imposed upon them. This is especially true when your livelihood is threatened. How will you pay your monthly bills if you don't have a job?

This situation is increasingly common for people in midlife.

If you can get to London on Friday September 23rd 2011, then help is at hand. Steve Preston, a member of the Mid Life Opportunity Coaching Panel is running another of his Career Transition Masterclasses

The last Masterclass, in June, was a sell out. The day includes an action packed 8 hours full of individual and group activities and coaching with a small group (maximum 6 people) of talented like minded professional people all at a career crossroads and looking to change something about their life and career.

Plus: 60 minutes of follow up telephone coaching!

For details, see Career Transition Masterclasses

If you can't get to London on 23rd September, Steve also runs a very informative Career Transition ecourse, available to download now. This contains 12 sections and 14 - 16 hours of content - invaluable if you are serious about landing that new role!

For detail, see Career Transition ecourse.

Please mention The Mid Life Opportunity when booking.

Good luck!

The Midlife Gap Year

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 12:21:27 PDT

Guest Post by Mid Life Opportunity member James Cave
There used to be this really strong feeling that gap years were only for school leavers and youngsters, luckily for us, this feeling is on the way out. Our culture is changing, and that means all of us travel-hungry folks who are well past our twenties don't have to just sit back all dewy eyed thinking about all the opportunities we missed out on, we can go and make some new ones for ourselves.

I think the biggest road block people faced when they thought about travelling as an older person is the idea that it might have some lasting ramifications on their career. And don't get me wrong, this is a really valid concern, but there's a definite change in perception these days.

The times when we chose a career in our teens and stuck with it right through until retirement are long gone, now we're expected to move around and hop from company to company every few years. In fact, our culture has now changed so much, that changing job or moving organisation is often seen as the only way to gain a promotion or pay rise for a lot of sectors.

What does this mean for adults hoping for a gap year? That the gap on your CV isn't going to be looked at in the kind of negative light you've been worried about. In fact, employers may even look at it as a positive. As the popularity for gap years has grown, so has an opinion that by going on one, people are not only broadening their horizons, but showing a willingness to learn and a flexibility that’s really very desirable in the working world.

On the other hand, if you’d love to go travelling but are actually happy in the job you’re in just now, sit down and have a chat with your boss or HR department. You could find they already have a set of rules for circumstances like that, and many businesses will offer an unpaid sabbatical, often for something more like three to six months, but occasionally for a whole year. This makes sense for a business that values their employees, as not only does it mean they are likely to come back more enthusiastic and with new skills, but there’s evidence that finding replacements for skilled workers isn’t cheap.

Another thing to think about is the fact that your gap year could leave you with some real, long-lasting benefits if you decide to learn a language or take part in some overseas learning while you’re away. Whether you choose to travel to France to learn French, or fly to French-speaking Canada (Quebec) to do the same, or even just decide to spend a few months in Australia, working in a bar, you’ll be adding new experiences and skills to your portfolio, something you should never put off doing.

Getting Your Midlife in Order

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 10:18:56 PDT

A Timely reminder for people in midlife...

The tutor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty glass jar and proceeded to fill it with big rocks. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the tutor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the big rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The tutor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous - - yes.
The tutor then produced a can of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour it into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the tutor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life.
The big rocks are the important things - - your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions - - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - - the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the big rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Fall in love. Spend time with your friends. Take your partner out for a meal. There will always be time to go to work, go to the gym, give a dinner party and clean the car.

Take care of the big rocks first - - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The tutor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a drink!"

What are your 'Big Rocks'? Do you put them in your jar first or do you tip a lot of 'Sand' in at the same time? Take a few moments to list your 'Big Rocks', 'Pebbles' and 'Sand' and prioritise them in your mind.

Then it's time for a celebratory drink!

The Solution to the Current Economic Crisis? - study The Full English

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 14:00:23 PDT

Those people who commute to work in overcrowded trains and roads must wonder why the economy is still in such a mess. All of these people still have jobs, they are still getting a monthly pay cheque. Why, then, has the economy not started to recover?

The answer, of course, is that people are worried about what might be around the corner for them. They are generally pessimistic about their futures and worried that the might lose their job. (Actually, very few people worry about losing their job; almost everyone worries about losing their source of income – the two should not be confused). So they have cut back on their discretionary spending. The difference between a healthy growing economy and a flat or declining economy is determined by the level of discretionary spending.

Prior to the banking crisis, discretionary spending was too high. Now it’s too low. When people are worried about losing their income they batten down the hatches.

So how can the government encourage people to have a more positive outlook on their future without pouring billions of pounds into a black hole? The solution can be found by studying the content of the Full English Breakfast!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with The Full English Breakfast (otherwise known as a ‘Fry Up’), this consists of any mix of eggs, bacon, sausage, tomatoes, fried bread or toast, black pudding (very optional), baked beans, mushrooms and a recent addition – hash browns.

In providing the ingredients for a full English breakfast, it’s fair to say that the chicken is involved but the pig is committed. The chicken carries on its life after laying its eggs, the pig which provides the bacon and sausages, sadly, does not.

In the current economic climate, everyone feels like the chicken. Involved in worrying about losing their job, paying more for their pension or that their standard of living is declining. Yes, that’s true, but by worrying and reducing their discretionary spending they are generating a self fulfilling prophesy. Living standards are declining as companies and organisations cut back and don’t recruit new talent because people aren’t buying their products. The economy contracts or grows very slowly.

Those who lose their jobs, on the other hand, are the pigs. They are committed. They aren’t worried about losing their jobs because they’ve already lost their job. They aren’t worried about paying more for their pension or a drop in their standard of living because they are bearing the brunt of the recession. They have no income and need a new job. They have fallen off of the roundabout and need to find a way to get back on.

The effect of the recession is being uniquely felt by those who have lost their job. Everyone else plays the role of the chicken, those that have lost their job are the pigs in this production.

So what is the answer? Reduce VAT? Reduce Income Tax? Perhaps, but these measures benefit everyone including those who don’t need help and those who don’t contribute.

The answer would seem to be quite straightforward. Take away the fear from the chickens and the number of people who become pigs will dramatically reduce. Introduce measures which will protect people if they lose their job, to take away their fear and apprehension. Do this, and confidence will return.

How about this? Guarantee that if someone loses their job they will be paid an amount equivalent to their salary by the state for a year, on top of their redundancy pay. That would give people a realistic breathing space to find a new job and take away the fear of redundancy.

Obviously this must be done in such a way to avoid paying the workshy. So people who lost their jobs wouldn’t receive the maximum payment unless they’d worked for say four out of the last five years. But that’s detail to be agreed. The important thing is to focus on taking away the worry from the ‘chickens’ of this world (most of us), to encourage a more positive outlook on life which will grease the wheels of commerce and drastically reduce the number of ‘pigs’ who find themselves out of work.

This should be followed up by funding training – real training, not lip service – to help the jobless to find new careers.

The focus of recovery investment must be on those who lose their jobs, not on everyone. To take away people’s fears of not being able to pay the mortgage or the rent. Do this and people’s ‘chicken’ fear will subside, the number of ‘pigs’ will fall dramatically and the world will look a much better place to all of us.

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Rob Horlock has established The Mid Life Opportunity (www.midlifeop.com), a community for people in Midlife. Advice and Guidance is available from The Mid Life Coaching Panel. It’s free to join - click here

Midlife Joke of the Week

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in Insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact!

But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap.. It's £1,000 an inch."

The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

So the man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're having granite worktops……"

Midlife Success

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:04:35 PDT

We tend to think that it is the strongest that survive. The strongest boxers win their fights. The strongest athletes win their events. Those with the strongest intellects win the argument.

Whilst this is undeniably true, Charles Darwin recognised that whilst the strongest might survive (and thrive) in the short term, there is no guarantee that this will last.

Darwin identified that “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change”.

Responsiveness and adaptability are the keys to success in the longer term. So we can all succeed, even if we aren’t the strongest or the most intelligent.

Having the best plan is not enough – how that plan is executed is the key to success.
Having the strongest relationship with your partner isn’t enough – those in successful relationships work at it and adapt as they go along.
Being the brightest and most intelligent is not enough – those who understand the insight and exhibit high levels of emotional intelligence are the most successful, in any walk of life.

So there’s hope for us all!

Those of us in midlife are particularly well placed in this regard. We have amassed a mountain of experience in a number of areas during our lifetime and we (more or less) understand the implications of our decisions. We have transferable skills – yes, you have transferable skills, list them!

These can be used to our advantage in every situation. Promotion at work, finding a new job, starting a new relationship, moving to a new area – it’s all down to your adaptability. Whether you succeed or fail is down to you.

Remember ‘No-one’s coming’. It’s down to you and you alone (with advice and guidance from as many sources as you can find).

Now here's the punchline....

How adaptable are you?

Do you recognise yourself?

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 03:56:30 PDT

According to my wife, we are all live our lives somewhere along the autistic spectrum. Some of us are further along it than others. Those at the extreme end are diagnosed as suffering from Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism. Sufferers of autism are sometimes brilliant at one particular skill – they may have a fantastic memory or they may be brilliant artists or musicians. Stephen Wiltshire is a famous example of this.

Most of us are way down the other end of the spectrum. But we all exhibit traits which show our individuality but these can often irritate others – those who sit further up or further down the spectrum.

Do you recognise any of these examples?

Your partner lines up all of the packages in the cupboard very neatly with labels facing the front? You throw the new groceries in on top of the old ones.
Your partner leaves the wiping up cloth dirty in the sink. You always rinse it out so that it’s clean for the next person.
You make the bed when you get up. Your partner doesn’t.
You fold up the clothes waiting to be ironed. Your partner doesn’t.
At work, you sit next to someone who cracks his knuckles all day – it drives you mad.
You can always hear the lady on the other side of the office when she speaks on the phone – it would really help you to concentrate if she spoke more softly.

You get the idea. Does any of this matter? Well, yes it does. If you don’t recognise these traits in those close to you, relationship issues will follow. Whether at work or home, recognise that we are all on the spectrum somewhere and we all have to make allowances for each other. Few of us are likely to change. You can point out what you see as deficiencies in others but you are more likely to start an argument than change behaviours.

So accept that we all have to make allowances for each other and you’ll spend less time stressed.

What habits do you recognise in yourself?

Now, I’m off to tidy up everything in the fridge...

The Chapters of Change

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:29:22 PDT

The Five Chapters of Change - author unknown

Chapter 1.
I walk down a street.

There's a deep hole in the pavement.

I fall in.

I am lost … I am helpless.

It takes forever to get out.

It's not my fault.

Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street.

There's a deep hole in the pavement.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in the hole again.

I can’t believe I’m in the same place.

It still takes a long time to get out.

It isn’t my fault.

Chapter 3.
I walk down the same street.

There's a deep hole in the pavement.

I see it is there.

I still fall in – it’s a habit.

My eyes have been opened.

I know where I am.

It is my responsibility.

I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street.

I see the deep hole in the pavement.

I walk around it.

Chapter 5.
I walk down a different street.

The Trials of a Modern Day Family

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 08:52:25 PDT

Guest post by Rebecca Fordham

Finding Mr Right as a divorced mother is as fulfilling as it is stressful. With children intact, how easy is it to blend two families through marriage or co-habiting? Rebecca Fordham investigates the issues remarriage causes and how to tackle them.

Lucy Taylor has recently moved in with her partner of five years and is in the process of renovating their four bedroom house. Their future as a couple is solidified, the excitement of coming home to someone is a novelty and the feeling of happiness clouds the prospect of having to live with all his annoying habits. This may seem like an enviable stage in a woman’s life. But Lucy is 45, mother to two children aged 21 and 17 and has not lived with a man for over ten years since she divorced her children’s father.

Remarriage for many in the UK is likely as divorce rates remain high. The Office for National Statistics show that 113,949 couples separated in 2009. In over forty per cent of marriages, couples have walked up the aisle at least once before. One in five people who get divorced remarry. However with a high percentage of those already having children from the failed marriage, the decision to then embark on a new relationship, move in with a partner and eventually marry comes with an abundance of responsibility that wasn’t there the first time.

“It wasn’t a decision to take lightly, there were many things to consider in my situation such as finances, what my family thought, whether it would work but ultimately I had to think of my children”, Lucy explains. “How would they react to this situation, after all this man is not their father. He is my choice, not theirs.”

Inviting someone else into an existing family unit that works well can cause disruptions and upset. Lifestyle coach and relationship expert Karen Morley helps with similar situations everyday in her line of work. “It is about communication, communication, communication. You have to be practical and sit down together as a family to look at all the difficulties or practicalities that need sorting. Having meetings to help merge the two families is key.”

She advises parents to reassure children of their importance and to stress that they have a voice too. As well as easing the children into the idea of a new home-life by explaining the new marriage or living situation, ensuring that everything remains as normal as possible is a vital step in preparing everyone for the new challenge.

And it is necessary for everybody in the situation to prepare. For the partner, who in Lucy’s case is without children, they have a whole new way of life to mould to. “Whereas he previously lived by himself, he now has three extra people to contend with and we have met difficulties. We were both used to being in charge of a house so you have to learn to do things together.”

For many, both partners will have children and this situation can be the hardest of them all. Karen advices that parents who wish to blend two sets of children should make a very clear plan. “They need to sit down and work out their strategies, their compromises, and decide how everything is going to run. When an agreement has been reached they need to sit down with the children and do exactly the same with them.”

Natasha Walton was 6 when her parents divorced 17 years ago. Her dad is marrying his partner of ten years, and her mum has been in a relationship for over 8 years - both parents have young daughters from the new relationships. “At first it was strange accepting two new people into my life but I lived with my dad and soon-to-be step-mum and she became a big part of our family. Now she is more like a mother to me than my real mum. I’m not very close with my mum’s boyfriend and we both agree he will never really be a step-dad to me - but we get on.”

So what happens for those unlucky families whose children and partners don’t get on well? Karen explains that in this instance seeking outside help is the answer. “If you can’t work it out from within, then some help is needed as the problem doesn’t go away. Seeking help in a third party is not about being told what to do but being helped to work out what will work best. It involves compromise from everybody.”

It is the responsibility of the adult to try their hardest but sometimes finding their role within an affirmed family can be difficult. They may struggle to find where they fit in - many may even be thrown into parenting someone else’s child. Everyone’s preconception of what family life should be like is different. But a way to combat this is to sit and discuss how you envisage things to be beforehand, what each of your roles are and how compromises can be made so that everyone feels happy.

Amy Czapnik a 25-year-old events manager, felt resentful when her mum remarried. “It was strange to suddenly have someone else as part of your life. When my step-dad moved in I had to change my behaviour at home as it wasn’t just mum and I anymore. At the time when things started changing around the house I didn't like it and would try to keep things the same - as well as keep my mum's attention.”

We can’t forget that parents themselves have a lot to take on and adjust to in a remarriage. For many, they have lived as the sole earner, decision maker and rule enforcer of the house. Great independence has been gained and as much as a support may have been craved when buying a new car or when a teenager is being difficult, sharing your life again can be hard to get used to.

Keeley Townsend, a counsellor who specialises in couple and family relationships explains how the adult relationship must be strong in order for the merged family to work. “The most successful relationships will be the ones that are able to connect to being a couple as well as being parents. Although the family is important, couple time is vital because that is what will make the family function. Family time and individual couple time is so important”.

Both men and women have expectations of how it will be living together but these aren’t always realistic. If only one partner has children, the other may find they feel jealous or even pushed aside. Every couple has to work at their relationship so time alone is essential whatever your situation. Scheduling date nights, spending time together once the children are in bed, and finding someone to babysit from time-to-time can help. Keeley explains that keeping the relationship fresh is the answer.

Psychologically a merged family is faced with a harder situation than most. Whereas a family who hasn’t split have history together, know one another and have grown together to reach the stage they are in, a blended family lack this growth. They can appear to be at this stage from the outside but they have missed out on the all important developmental process. This solid family image can be hard to live up to and a lot of pressure to be under. Keeley advises that the best course of action is to understand each other’s family history. “Sometimes people don’t want to know about others past but that’s their life-script and has brought them to where they are today. If you are able to understand one another’s family history, then you’ll know where they come from and what makes them who they are.”

A positive that comes with blending two families is of course the gaining of additional family members. However the obligations that come with this can cause unnecessary stress or worry. Both Amy and Natasha are in agreement that the situation can become complicated at this point. “On special occasions there are so many strands of the family to see and having the time to do that is hard”, explains Natasha. “I have a responsibility to go and see them but sometimes I don’t want to because they aren’t real family.” However gaining two half sisters for Natasha and having extended support for Amy makes the situation very rewarding.

This is one of many great advantages to being part of a blended family. Others include a great support network, more people to love and love you back, having happy parents which should in turn create a happy home environment, and gaining step-children. There are many issues that make the decision to remarry or even cohabit with your partner daunting. As a parent you will always ask yourself; “how long do you leave it before taking the next step?” But there is no easy answer and there comes a point where you have to take your own happiness into consideration too. The process will always have you asking; “is it worth it?” or, “have I done the right thing?” - but you have to try. It won’t be an easy ride but you will have someone there to share it with.

Rebecca Fordham http://www.writtenandposted.blogspot.com/

GUTSY Is as GUTSY Does!

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 14:11:52 PDT

Guest Post by Sylvia Lafair

I remember when I was 46 wondering what would happen when I was 64. That old Beatles song would play over and over “Will you still love me when I’m….”

I believe it is never too late to prepare for that time when we look in the mirror and say “Who, in heaven’s name, is that peering back at me.” So, I decided before I reached the big 50 to take my life in my own hands and make vital life decisions about what really mattered.

I told my husband my plan and he tossed me a “this should be interesting” look.

You see, I am totally challenged when it comes to directions. I believe that whatever way I am facing must be north. So, to take a sleeping bag, some water and a few energy bars and head into the desert near our home in Santa Fe was, well risky business at best.

He dropped me off and pointed me in the direction of Nambe Falls. My logic was I would be able to get more water and since I like the sound of running water I would be contented for the three nights and four days I was going to stop the world and listen to my inner self.

Vision quest; just the sound of the words made me tremble. It felt so, so ancient, so connected to Mother Earth. Vision quest, what a gutsy thing for a city bred gal to do. Vision quest, I would come back with all my deep questions answered.

Off I went, going due north (which meant following my nose). Time, as the poets like to say, stood still; actually way too still. It seemed like the sun never moved and evening was a long way away. I became, not really afraid; actually my fear was of being bored. And bored I was. My fast paced city life was far behind. I had no computer, no books, and no cell phone; only the silence of the desert.

Someday I will write about what I really learned in those three loooong days. Now, I just want to talk about my reentry into the world of bathrooms, cool Margaritas, reality television, and human relationships.

I marched back into town with my orange baseball cap perched on very grungy hair. I lost my canteen somewhere toward the end of my stay and walked, ever so the conquering hero, into the Eldorado Hotel smack in the center of Santa Fe.

It was late afternoon and very quiet. I was amazed at the tile floors, the clear glass that housed the water I had requested, the flushing sound that was made in the bathroom. It was as if I had entered a foreign planet. I sat waiting for my husband to pick me up.

Two women at the next lounge table were sipping their drinks looking over at me. They would put their heads together, chuckle and then look some more. Finally one asked where I had been. With the pride of accomplishment I puffed myself up and told them about my vision quest.

When I finished there was silence. I was used to silence, it had become my friend so I just sat quietly and waited for what was next. They leaned toward me again and one woman queried “Does your mother approve of this vision quest thing.”

At that moment I knew the success of my journey; it saved me from ever needing a face lift!!!

Sylvia Lafair PhD is an author and business leadership and communications expert. www.sylvialafair.com

If I Had My Time Again...

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Fri, 27 May 2011 23:48:24 PDT

Midlife is the time when most of us start to think back on our lives and consider what we might do differently if we had our lives over again. We might regret leaving school before we should have done because we were impatient to start earning real money. Many of us will regret some of our relationships and most of us would probably take a different career path, given another chance.

Those of us who have succeeded in life (however you measure it) will have done so due to a mix of good fortune, a gritty determination to succeed, our inbuilt intelligence and the right family support. Those of us who have fallen short will have lacked one or more of the above – that’ll be most of us then!

But we are where we are now. As so many before me have said, ‘Life isn’t a rehearsal’ and we won’t get the chance to try again so what are our options?

Cry into our beer and do a great impression of being a victim
Carry on as we are
Think about what’s gone before and what lessons we’ve learned
Look around and identify new opportunities that might be open to us
Set ourselves measurable targets to achieve, to improve the rest of our lives

The answer? Obviously, it’s the last option. But is it? Most of us won’t set ourselves stretching targets to achieve – that’s likely to be very uncomfortable and too much like hard work. (We’ll say we’re going to do it, of course, but will we? Unlikely…)

The answer is to do what’s best for you, in your own circumstances. It’s what you can commit to and what you are likely to achieve.

What I would say to you, is please try to leave your comfort zone. That is the single biggest thing that you can do to move your life forward. Start small – cold call a customer, pluck up the courage to start a conversation with the person that you fancy (but not if you’re already in a relationship), start an exercise regime, etc

Start small and persevere. You will be amazed at the difference that other people will notice about you – that’s a good measure isn’t it?

What would you do differently if you had your life over again?

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Midlife Joke of the Week

A midlife man is stopped by the police around 1am and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

“My wife” the man replies….

Job Hunting Tips For The Midlife Job Seeker

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Fri, 20 May 2011 10:31:46 PDT

Guest post by Nicole Rodgers

We all know that the economy is down and unemployment is a very real and serious problem in our society right now. Finding work has arguably never been more difficult. This statement holds especially for midlife job seekers. Despite having years of experience, their age works against them. There is more incentive for most employers to hire younger workers who, either just out of college or otherwise new to the workplace, will be willing to work for a lower salary.

While the employment situation is bleak, that doesn’t mean that there are not steps that mature job seekers can take in order to make themselves more competitive when looking for work.

First, older job seekers must remember that many things have changed since they last likely looked for work. In particular, it is imperative to keep abreast of the latest breakthroughs in technology. If their technological skills are lacking, there is no need to fret, as they can easily get them up to speed. Taking a course in basic or intermediate computer skills will go far in making seasoned job seekers more appealing to potential employers; as will being up to date with the latest developments in business technology. Remember, being tech savvy is not just about being able to open an email, but also about being well-versed in the wide array of productivity software that is now on the market as well as social networking. Again, this is something that can easily be learned by taking a class or by buying a few books and is in no way a daunting or overly demanding task. It can be completed quite easily with a bit of hard work and determination.

Of course no amount of technological know-how will do much good if a resume never gets read. Therefore is it of the utmost importance to create a resume that will truly stand out and make a powerful impression. A resume should convey not merely that a person is qualified for a position, but instead that the employer would be remiss in not hiring an individual for a given job.

While this is where a person’s years of experience are going to shine the most, it is important to job seekers with years in the workforce to limit themselves in what they put down. Ultimately, only the last 10 to 15 years should be listed.

Here some more general guidelines to follow: Do not include personal details on your resume such as marital status or date of birth. The details that employers want are name, address, and contact information. A job seeker should make sure to highlight the skills that are relevant to the job they are applying to. Finally, if a degree was finished more than 10 to 15 years ago, it’s better to leave the date of completion off altogether.
In today’s job market, it is important for people to stay flexible and make the most of their natural personal networks. That means, if full-time work is not panning out, then part-time work should be considered as either a stop-gap measure or as part of the new economic reality. It also means that jobs may come from sources that people are already familiar with, such as contacts made in professional or civic organizations. Volunteering is also a great way to make professional contacts.

Finally, a key part of the job hunt is remaining optimistic. While optimism may not guarantee finding work, pessimism will likely ensure continued unemployment.

Nicole Rodgers has been blogging for three years; she is also blogging about budgeting techniques and finds sites to get deals on such as Savings.com

Achieving Your Goals in Midlife

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 14 May 2011 01:43:37 PDT

An American named Charlie Whittmack recently completed a remarkable feat; the longest triathlon ever undertaken.

Firstly, Charlie swam the whole length of the River Thames up to London (he didn’t swim the London stretch due to the amount of river traffic and the dangers involved). He then swam across the English Channel to France.

Having completed the swimming section of his triathlon, he then got on his bike and cycled across Europe, into Asia and right up to the foothills of the Himalayas – an incredible distance of 10,000 miles!

After a break for medical attention following a road accident, Charlie then set out on the ‘running’ section of his triathlon – although in this case, it was more ‘climbing’ than ‘running’. Charlie climbed Mount Everest!

This is a truly amazing feat of endurance, stamina and willpower.

How did Charlie achieve this magnificent feat? When asked that question, he said ‘Every day I got up and (when I was swimming) put one hand in front of the other. That’s all I thought about – the next step.

What a lesson this is for the rest of us. Almost all of us are unlikely to complete a triathlon, let alone consider anything the size of Charlie’s effort. Yet we all have our own challenges to face which sometimes appear very daunting.

Why not follow Charlie’s example? While he was focused on achieving his goal of reaching the summit of the world’s highest mountain, he managed that in his mind by thinking about what he needed to do in the ‘here and now’ – what he needed to do next. To put one hand in front of the other.

So don’t be frightened or overawed (or depressed) about the challenge facing you, think about what needs to be done next, in the context of the overall goal.

Little by little, if you keep positive, retain momentum and stay on course you will reach your goal. It’s very easy to throw in the towel if you concentrate solely on the size of the final goal.

Much less likely to throw in the towel if you’re concentrating on putting one hand in front of the other!

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Anti Establishment Joke of the Week...

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.

He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!!

No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety

The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

(I just love this part....)

"Your badge, show him your BADGE! !"

Midlife Depression

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 07 May 2011 12:16:32 PDT

Guest post by Wendy Bailey

Many men and women experience the effects of a midlife crisis, however, some go through emotional and physical changes that can cause severe depression. Midlife depression differs from a midlife crisis, and it can often be more debilitating than a typical midlife transition. Many circumstances can trigger depression in someone facing a midlife change, and there are numerous forms of treatment that vary according to the individual’s needs.

What is a Midlife Crisis?

A midlife crisis generally occurs near the age of 40. Some men and women experience the change of life much earlier or much later as well. While this is considered to be a natural part of growing older, some people have difficulties dealing with the changes. In many cases, men and women who are not capable of facing the transition may become clinically depressed. When the depression becomes severe, psychotherapy is often necessary.

What Triggers Midlife Depression?

Midlife depression is triggered by a number of internal and external stress factors. These triggers range from person to person to person, and they can be caused both positive and negative experiences. In most cases, the person affected does not realize the magnitude of each situation.

Internal stress factors include:

- Low self esteem
- Anger at a significant other
- Confusion about what the future holds
- Questions and fears about the meaning of life
- Sudden discontent or boredom with lifestyle or people
- Doubt about an intimate relationship
- A feeling that something is missing

External stress factors include:

- A sudden change in job requirements
- Weddings
- Births
- Financial issues
- Family emergencies
- The death or illness of a loved one
- Changes in health
- Relationship upsets

What are the Symptoms of Midlife Depression?

Everyone experiences midlife depression in a different way. Men and women face different challenges, and their reactions to these stresses differ as well. Because a number of people ignore the feelings that are brought on by depression, it is important to identify the symptoms in order to prepare a proper treatment.

Depression symptoms include:

- Hopelessness or extremely pessimistic views
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Guilty thoughts
- Feelings of extreme helplessness or suicidal thoughts
- Loss of interest in favorite activities
- Anxiety or restlessness
- A change in sleeping or eating patterns
- Chronic physical ailments such as stomach problems or headaches

How is Midlife Depression Treated?

There are many forms of treatment for midlife depression, and each person responds differently. For some, a proactive approach is all that is needed. One of the best ways to prevent depression or limit its effects is to develop a healthy lifestyle. Positive alterations in eating and exercise habits can go a long way when it comes to preventing depression. Another way to keep depression in check is to get plenty of regularly scheduled sleep.

Developing healthy relationships is also beneficial in preventing midlife depression. In later years, it is essential to have close relationships that are born from trust and compassion. Maintaining healthy relationships allows a person to lean on someone else in times of need. This can prevent many of the depression triggers from taking a firm hold on a person’s psyche.

When the feelings of depression become severe and life-altering, it may be necessary to seek the help of a professional. A therapist can use behavioral therapy or antidepressants to curb the harmful effects of depression. In most cases, midlife depression can be remedied when the right course of action is taken. Men and women struggling with midlife depression can find happiness with the proper treatments.
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Tess Hardwick - Changing Career in Midlife

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sun, 01 May 2011 12:30:05 PDT

Guest Post by Tess Hardwick

Five years ago I sat in my large corner office in downtown Seattle with a view of the Puget Sound, behind a cherry desk holding business cards with the Director of Human Resources title etched in blue letters under my name. Outside that office sat my nearly perfect staff, taking care of every detail I asked for. Down the hall sat my smart and compassionate female manager. I had great compensation, bonus opportunities, and the esteem of really smart people good at their jobs; all a culmination of fifteen years steadily building a career.

I was also pregnant with my second daughter. Every morning before I entered my corner office, I dropped my three-year-old daughter off at a Montessori, five blocks from where I worked. Each morning, her enormous blue eyes that were round like a doll, filledwith tears and her arms reached out to me, begging me not to leave her. Minutes later, as I took the elevator up to the 26^th floor of the high rise that smelled of Starbucks and new carpet, I was plagued with guilt and an aching sense that I was living someone else’s life.

Despite all I had, I was miserable.

I yearned to be with my daughter more, feeling keenly that time was slipping away, that she was growing up while I sat behind that desk. Also, I yearned to do work that inspired me instead of work that made me feel as if I were shriveling into a mockery of my former self. The self I was when I was a young woman just out of high school who studied acting at the University of Southern California. Back then I imagined the world like a tree that dripped with succulent fruit ready for my plucking. I dreamt of being a writer, joking with friends about penning the great American novel, knowing that buried beneath my normal exterior was a storyteller. But as the months of the calendar turned, page after page, year after year, the further I felt from that dream.

And life happens. Bills and marriage, the desire to have a baby that is biological or hormonal, maybe even spiritual, because it is not a choice that makes logical sense.

And that urge to live the life I felt I was meant for, nagged at me. Maya Angelou says you know what you’re truly passionate about if you’re willing to sacrifice for it.

I was willing. I vowed to write that novel.

There were finances to think of. There was my husband, who five years before this, had married a woman that brought in as much income as he did. Regardless, after my second baby came, I closed the door to that corner office for the last time. I gave up my power suits for sweats and t-shirts with baby spit-up down the back. I spent the time I wanted with my children. I was the mother I wanted to be. And I wrote that novel I’d dreamt of for twenty years.

How? By focusing on exclusively on what I wanted to accomplish. We sold our large home and downsized to a town home. In addition to my own children, for extra money, I took care of other people’s children. In every spare moment I conjured a keen and determined concentration, until word-by-word, Riversong, was done.

I gave myself the deadline of getting it done before I turned 40. I made my deadline. Then I spent another two years trying to find a publisher, which I did, finally, in the most unexpected way. In the meantime, I wrote another novel that will be ready for publication in November. And now, people are buying and reading my work. The day it went up on Amazon.com, I knew the dream was real.

I’m not even close to making the kind of money I made as an HR Director. But I’m free. I’m happy. When I look back on my life, I won’t remember that corner office. I’ll remember the way my now eight-year-old daughter’s eyes widened and filled with light the first time she saw Riversong in book form. I’ll remember the comments from my readers the last few weeks, telling me how much they love the book. I’ll remember the delighted faces of my friends at last Saturday’s book launch party.

So whatever it is that you dream of, think how much you’re willing to sacrifice for it. Next, make a practical plan.Then, go do it. The world is waiting for you, like baskets underneath that tree of life, anticipating, hoping, for your fruitful gifts to fall, one by one, until it is full.

Tess's novel 'Riversong' is out now. To find out more, visit www.tesshardwick.com

Your Midlife Mindset

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 04:02:10 PDT

Here is a story for you to ponder:

There were two woodcutters named Jim and Shaun working for a timber merchant. They both went together to the forest in the early morning to cut wood and then return by evening. They both, however, worked differently.

Jim would slog for ten hours to cut a tree and pile up the wood blocks.

Shaun would not been seen for hours and would arrive at the wood cutting area much later than Jim. But within two to three hours he had cut and collected more wood than his friend.

Jim wondered how Shaun was able to cut so much wood in such a short time. Even working as hard and as fast as he could, Jim couldn’t match Shaun’s productivity. Jim even began to wonder if Shaun possessed any magical powers.

So one day Jim went to Shaun and asked him how he could achieve so much in such a short time.

Shaun replied, "There is nothing magical about it. I sit down and sharpen my axe for four hours and then I start cutting the wood. Because my tools are sharp, I can perform the task efficiently. But you never do that. That is why it takes you so much time to do the work with blunt tools."

Are you a Jim or are you a Shaun? Many midlifers fall into the ‘Jim’ trap. They rely on the skills that they have used for a long time and wonder why their (younger?) colleagues perform better than them. If you are in midlife, make sure that you sharpen your skills by keeping them up to date. Learn new skills and put your self forward for training courses whenever the opportunity arises.

If you don’t do this and redundancy looms, your colleagues with better (sharper) transferable skills will find new employment before you do.

And they won’t be blaming ageism in the workplace in the same way that you will be…

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Don't stand still

noreply@blogger.com (The Mid Life Opportunity) — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 01:30:13 PDT

Spring is here (in the Northern Hemisphere, at any rate – you guys in the South have had your turn for a few months…) and The New Forest, where I live, is changing almost daily. The days are noticeably warmer now, a welcome change from winter. The most noticeable change in the Forest this month is the increased level of birdsong.

Finches sit on top of the gorse bushes, Great Tits in the upper branches of the bare-limbed trees, Robins perch on top of the hedges, Thrushes in the distance. All singing at the tops of their voices and for a worthwhile cause – it is the start of the mating season, the annual ritual when birds look for a partner. In the background, somewhere deep in the forest, the ‘rat a tat, tat’ of woodpeckers boring holes in trees also signals that the nesting season is beginning. To round it off, I heard the first cuckoo of Spring this morning, the annual sign the ‘Spring is here’.

The birds sing for two reasons. Firstly, the males sing to attract a mate. This is why they choose a prominent position, where they can be seen and their voices carry. ‘Look at me’, they sing, ‘Choose me. I’m big and strong and just the father for your chicks’. Males also sing to mark out their territories and to defend them against rivals. Each species has its own recognised song and the effect of the medley of different tunes, repeated over and over again, is magical. It’s part of Spring, like the daffodils, the clocks going forward and the sound of lawnmowers being used for the first time since last Autumn.

This is the start of a process which is repeated every year. It’s similar to many annual tasks and projects that we find ourselves carrying out in our working lives. The birds, though, will start afresh with a new plan. Many species find a new mate every year; most build new nests and many build these nests in new territories. They don’t expect to come out of the winter and pick up ‘business as usual’. They have to sing (advertise) for a new mate, find a suitable nesting site and start the process of bringing up their new family.

In our working lives, how much time to do we invest in planning for annual projects, the ones that we did last year and will do again next year and the year after? Very often, we expect everything to carry on much as usual. We’ve done it before and it worked, so we’ll do it again the same way. This is especially true for people in midlife who have been in the same role for a number of years or who run their own business.

Whilst this approach is fine, do remember the birds singing in the trees. They are thinking about how they will do it this season, who they’ll do it with and where they’ll do it. Do take some time to review what happened during your main projects last year and make any necessary changes this time around. What worked, what didn’t? How has the environment around you changed? Were the right people involved at the right time last year, or did you have some last minute panics? Was everything in the right place at the right time? What has changed since last year?

Time spent up front planning your work is always time well spent, as the birds singing to attract this year’s mate will testify!

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