First, I am writing for the New York Times again in their Homefires section.  My first piece from this season is now live here.  I was thrilled to be extended this opportunity for a 4th time and am looking forward to being called a vicious baby killer in their comments section.  I’ve also become a contributing editor for Primer, an online men’s magazine.  I truly believe that Primer offers great content that is lacking from traditional men’s publications like Men’s Health, GQ, and Maxim, so I’m happy to be a part of it.

Next, as you may have noticed from my pictures, my hair is not exactly within regulations anymore.  No, this isn’t some kind of rebellion against the grooming standards that were forced upon me in the Marine Corps.  I’ve always wanted long hair.  See, my hair becomes a curly, frazzled bird’s nest whenever it exceeds about two inches. In order to get long hair I have to traverse a horrid stage where my mother can still recognize me, but if I’m standing on a street corner drinking coffee, someone is likely to drop change in my cup.  I’ve never been willing to traverse this stage because in high school I was concerned about getting a date.  I was married during college, after college came the Marine Corps, and now here I am: my first opportunity to grow long hair.  I plan to get it cut as soon as I look like the Beastmaster.

Next, I’ve made two trips to the ER in the past six months, which is more than the previous six years combined. This started with an allergic reaction. I’ve never had an allergic reaction to anything. I considered myself immune to the biotoxins that plagued those with inferior immune systems. Still, I awoke early on a Saturday morning and took an Aleve for muscle pain. I returned to bed and found sleeping difficult. My arms began to itch, but whenever I scratched the itching only spread to different parts of my body. I began to feel hot. Something told me to go look at myself in the mirror. I turned on the light and struggled to understand the form staring back at me from the mirror. My face was red as a beet and a rash was spreading across my chest like swine flu hysteria through a gaggle of soccer moms. On my way to the ER my body played a really neat game of swelling and contracting different parts of my face. First my nose swelled, then it receded and my lips swelled. This actually gave me a lisp when I spoke. My wife found that funnier than I did. Next my eyes swelled, and my vision became blurry. At one point my scalped itched terribly and a bystander on Highway 431 could have observed me flailing my head violently from side to side, scratching it with both hands as my wife drove me to the ER at 60 mph. Homer Simpson had taken the controls of my body’s nuclear power plant and was throwing levers and pushing buttons at whim.

My second trip to the ER was to relieve the worst pain of my life: a perforated ear drum. I recently started wakeboarding, and one day on the water yielded a series of bad falls. The first had given me a slight concussion, making me unable to remember the names of everyone in the boat. That should have been my cue to hang it up for the rest of the day. Alas, I did not. My next fall brought my left ear against the water at the speed of the boat (21 mph) plus an angular velocity that I estimate at “holy shit.” That trip to the ER happened to coincide with a local rodeo, which brought some of north Alabama’s most interesting characters to the ER to get repaired. While clutching my ear I had such thoughts as

“Yes, he’s definitely trying to put his shoulder back in its socket like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Wow, he did it!”

“I wonder how long she had to search for that peach-colored cotton tank top to match her peach-colored boots.”

“I think that man with the mullet and the Jeff Gordon t-shirt just kissed his son on the mouth.”

While I had admittedly tied myself to a boat in order to slide across water on a piece of plastic, I couldn’t help but think that tying myself to a bull and yanking on his testicles was an unquestionably worse decision.

The last and largest development in my life is becoming an entrepreneur. I have partnered with a friend to open a CrossFit affiliate in Madison, Alabama. CrossFit is a health and fitness program that develops a broad, inclusive fitness through very rudimentary equipment, methods, and movements conducted at high intensity. A Marine I served with in Iraq unknowingly introduced me to CrossFit. I always noticed him looking up crazy workouts on crossfit.com and performing them outside our work area. Fast forward three years and now I’m the crazy one in the gym hanging by gymnast rings, jumping on plyo boxes, and performing lewd acts with barbells. In early September I was certified as a trainer. I look forward to facilitating change in other people’s lives as CrossFit has changed mine.

However, opening a business has also fully exposed the bureaucracy surrounding anything that touches government, or even wanders closely enough to smell it (and it smells bad). Local and state governments are seriously like the mob when it comes to taxes. “Oh, you want to set up in our part of town? That’s gonna cost ya. We’ll be taking a cut each year. Call it a tax on your privilege of operating in our area…a privilege tax.” We haven’t earned our first dollar of revenue, but we’ve written countless checks for permits, licenses, privilege taxes, and use taxes for no other reason than we’ll have our collective knee-caps broken and be put in jail if we don’t comply. If I extorted another individual like this, then I would surely be thrown in jail. However, the cruel yin to that yang is that if I don’t comply when I am extorted by government, then I’ll be thrown in jail.

Jovial complaints aside, opening my business has been a great endeavor. I found that I will create endless time and energy for a task that rewards me directly in accordance with my competence. If I know my competence will go unnoticed or unrewarded, then I am much less apt to completely devote myself to a problem. However, every ounce of energy I pour into my business is retained and not lost to anyone else (until we become profitable and government extortion begins anew). My efforts create a product that is a reflection of me, and I will do anything to make it an accurate reflection of my desires and intentions. While maintaining my full-time engineering job and laying the groundwork for an evening job has been an immense strain on my schedule, I make time for the things I care about. I can’t think of anything more exciting than positively impacting people’s lives in a way that is rewarding to both of us.

Lastly, I’m very close to completing my MBA from UAHuntsville. That journey will conclude next summer.

I hope you’ll keep up with my posts on Homefires and Primer.  Feel free to comment here or on each site individually and let me know what you think.  I’ll be updating this blog whenever a new article from me goes live on either.

Update: Right now the full episode is available here. I don’t expect it to last long.

Quick background for non-veterans: The Montgomery G.I. Bill is a benefit that subsidizes education costs for veterans. While on active duty service members can elect to pay $1200 one time and in return they receive 36 months of payments towards full-time education after they leave active duty.  Thirty-six months is the equivalent of the time required for a 4-year degree based on a 9-month academic year. Yes, it’s the best $1200 investment you could ever make, as the full-time benefit is currently $1321 per month.

Congress recently passed the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill. Veterans that served after 9/11 are eligible. Service members also now receive the benefit automatically and do not have to pay $1200 as before. Veterans that originally had the Montgomery G.I. Bill but are eligible for the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill may elect to change their MGIB (known as Chapter 30) to the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill (known as Chapter 33). This is an irrevocable decision. This is also not financially advisable for all veterans. As a matter of fact, unless you attend school at least 3/4 time and pay all your expenses (no scholarships, tuition reimbursement, etc.) it’s probably not a good idea. This post aims to educate veterans on the basics of the two programs and why they should weigh all factors carefully before electing for the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill. It’s a decision that cannot be changed and might cost them thousands of dollars. Here’s why:

The Chapter 30 MGIB pays you monthly simply based on whether you are enrolled in a qualifying degree program. Enrolled full time? You get $1321 per month. No other factors are involved. Did you get a scholarship and you don’t owe any tuition? Good for you. The VA doesn’t care; you still get your $1321/month. Did you pick an inexpensive school where tuition is relatively cheap? Good for you. The VA doesn’t care; you still get your $1321/month.  If you are taking classes at 1/2 time or better then you simply receive a flat rate payment, scaled appropriately for 1/2 and 3/4 time students. However, students taking less than a 1/2 time load just get reimbursed for expenses.

(Note: To the non-veteran this may seem like the veteran is scamming the system, but he is not. The VA is well aware of how the program works. The Chapter 30 MGIB just cares that you are enrolled in a qualifying degree program. That is the requirement to draw the money associated with the benefit. If the veteran meets the requirement, then the VA is unconcerned whether the money exactly meets the veteran’s education expenses or whether it’s going towards pizza and beer.)

The Post-9/11 G.I. Bill is a little more complex. First, it pays your tuition and fees directly to your school, up to a maximum limit determined for each state. Did you pick an expensive college that consumed all of your Chapter 30 MGIB? Good for you, now the VA will pick up more of the tab (up to the limit for your state). Did you get a scholarship and you don’t owe any tuition? The VA thanks you wholeheartedly, because now they don’t have to pay the school for your tuition. See the subtle difference? Next, if you attend more than 1/2 time, then you get a housing allowance. The allowance is calculated as the BAH for an E-5 with dependents in the zip code of your school. Use this site to look it up for your zip code. If you attend at 1/2 time or less then you don’t get the housing allowance–not even a scaled one. Finally, you get a stipend for books equal to $500/semester or $1000/year for full-time. Those three payments comprise the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill: tuition paid to the school, housing allowance paid to you (if you qualify), and book stipend paid to you.

Crunch the numbers and you’ll find that you may want to stick with your Chapter 30 MGIB. The Post-9/11 G.I. Bill is lucrative for full-time students receiving no other type of assistance, and those attending expensive universities that don’t participate in the Yellow Ribbon Program. All other cases should perform a careful comparison before switching. The VA has actually done something really superb and posted several different example comparisons on their web site here. Note their assumptions at the top and plug in the numbers for your own scenario. Don’t include the MGIB $600 buy-up unless you purchased it before leaving active duty. Scale all the payments correctly based on how many hours you are taking and whether your school considers it full-time or less. Payment scales are linked below. Remember, 1/2-time and less means no housing allowance under Chapter 33 while 1/2-time and more begins your entitlement to flat-rate payments under Chapter 30.

Finally, the VA has indicated that veterans eligible for the Chapter 30 MGIB that exhaust all of their benefits under Chapter 30 may then change to the Chapter 33 Post-9/11 G.I. Bill for an additional 12 months of benefits under Chapter 33. I do not fully understand this, but it appears like it might sweeten the deal even more for veterans using Chapter 30. The blurb appears here on the VA website. I suggest talking with a VA representative personally about this plan, as it doesn’t seem to be as well-documented as all other facets of the change.

Here are some more resources to further research your decision:

Full Pamphlet on Chapter 30 MGIB Benefits and Eligibility

Chapter 30 MGIB Payment Rates

Chapter 33 Post-9/11 G.I. Bill Max Tuition for each State

Full Pamphlet on Chapter 33 Post-9/11 G.I. Bill Benefits and Eligibility

Text of the Law Instituting Post-9/11 G.I. Bill

General Benefit Comparison Information from the VA

• President Obama is a socialist.
• Jeremiah Wright is President Obama’s best friend. They eat lunch together twice weekly.
• President Obama is Lucifer, and Nancy Pelosi is Beezelbub.

I see at least a glimmer of truth in some of his points (the last one excluded, of course). However, I know the sun rises in the east…that is true. If my wife starts telling me that ad infinitum every morning while I eat breakfast, then I may want to throw a plate at her, truth notwithstanding. Really, in 2012 will he still be talking about Jeremiah Wright? Sean also doesn’t really debate his callers. Every call (excluding the “you’re a great American” ego-stroking extravaganzas) is a boxing match. He throws the GOP talking points, and his callers throw the liberal talking points. Neither person seriously considers the other’s points, and Sean will probably try to lead the caller into agreeing with Marxism, which was fun the first 20 times I heard it.

Instead of listening to talk radio in my car, I’ve been listening to audiobooks. I’ve found this a mixed experience. I first tried The Structure of Scientific Revolutions by Kuhn. I really liked the book, but I don’t think I absorbed enough of it via audio. I found it difficult to fully comprehend non-fiction without being able to easily re-read some passages. I’m currently listening to Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I’ve read this once in print, and I loved it. The audiobook has proved just as enthralling. The reader is also very good, which I think makes a big difference. In this case I already know the general story, so the audiobook just reminds me of things I forgot and lets me experience the story again, which is awesome. Overall, I don’t think audiobooks are an acceptable substitute for reading—especially non-fiction. However, for classical fiction they can be very entertaining.

“It is refreshing to know that voters still care about the issues affecting them and our state…This is my first campaign for public office and it is evident that people desire fresh ideas and real reform.”

BTW, some news outlet are reporting “controversy” surrounding the election because of emails and fliers circulating with the old gag “…due to expected turnout, Republicans should vote on Tuesday, and Democrats vote on Wednesday.” I can’t believe that is even being taken seriously. But of course, what would our local media do without stories of this caliber to tease their timed comparisons of fast food drive thru service that headline the 10 o’clock news. Sad, really.

10. Rogue Shakespeare Stout

OK, I cheated. At 6% ABV this was already legal in Alabama…but it’s so good I had to include it anyway. Rogue is one of my favorite breweries, and this is one of my favorite beers. Rogue is located in Newport, Oregon.

9. Terrapin Monk’s Revenge

A one-time release brew, Monk’s Revenge promises to bring the best of a Double India Pale Ale (IPA) and the best of a Belgian Tripel together in one beer. Terrapin Brewing Company out of Athens, Georgia is also one of my favorite breweries. 9.8% ABV

8. Torpedo Extra IPA

Sierra Nevada Brewing Company from Chico, California produces some great brews, and this IPA should be no exception. Introduced in January of 2009, this beer is quickly becoming a favorite among beer lovers. 7.2% ABV

7. Terrapin Big Hoppy Monster

Nothing tastes like a quality red ale with plenty of hops…and nothing tastes quite like Big Hoppy Monster.  8.3% ABV

6. Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA

Beer Advocate rates this the 93rd best beer in America. Number 93 sounds like something you get for making the solar system out of styrofoam balls at the science fair, but in a competition comprised of thousands and thousands of beers, the top 100 are all outstanding! Dogfish Head makes a ton of great brews, including it’s 120 minute IPA at 20% ABV which still isn’t legal in Alabama. Dogfish Head Brewery is located in Milton, Delaware. 9% ABV

5. Rogue Double Dead Guy Ale

Rogue Dead Guy Ale is a familiar friend to beer lovers. Ruby Tuesdays generally carries Dead Guy on tap. Double Dead Guy refits the old favorite with 9% ABV for even more punch.

4. Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout

Russian Imperial Stouts aren’t for everyone…sometimes including me. However, Beer Advocate ranks Old Rasputin the 88th best beer on the planet. Produced by North Coast Brewing Company in Fort Bragg, California. 9% ABV

3. Ruination IPA

Named for its “ruinous effect on your palate,” Beer Advocate rates this IPA from Stone Brewing Company in Escondido, California the 78th best beer on the planet. A hoppy, bitter, and bold IPA. 7.7% ABV

2. Rye Squared Imperial Pale Ale

Terrapin Rye Pale Ale is brewed with rye instead of barley, giving the beer an incredibly unique and refreshing taste. Terrapin Rye Squared is exponentially better, and even more potent at 8.5% ABV.

1. Arrogant Bastard Ale

Another fine product of Stone Brewing Company that lives up to the condescending tone on its label (pictured below). At 7.2% ABV with a perfectly-balanced taste, this is a winner for everyone.

1. Why should I care?

Do you like beer? If so, you’ll now have a much greater selection to choose from. The archaic 6% ABV restriction kept countless craft breweries from selling their brews in Alabama. Even if you don’t like beer, I assume you like money. Because these beers weren’t available in Alabama, enthusiasts traveled to neighboring states to purchase craft beer. Those tax dollars now come to Alabama. Finally, no defensible reason exists for the alcohol content of beer to be restricted, especially when hard liquor can contain up to 100% ABV. The law was nonsensical, and it’s change is a win for liberty—period.

2. Why the new 13.9% restriction? Where did that number come from?

In Alabama, table wine is limited to 14.9% and taxed at a higher rate than beer. Businesses were afraid that if the ABV limit for beer were raised above that of wine then Montgomery would decide to tax beer at the higher rate.  This does mean that some outstanding beers will still be excluded from Alabama, but the 13.9% restriction was a necessary compromise.

3. What’s the thing about a license?

Another compromise. This amendment was added when the bill passed the senate. Some senators were concerned about the high alcohol beer being available in “convenience stores.” Yes, the concern is nonsensical, but in Alabama politics you have to tolerate some nonsense or you can’t get anything done. Three types of licenses are available to establishments that want to sell beer:

A) On premises- Beer is sold in open containers for immediate consumption. (restaurants, bars, etc)

B) Off premises- Beer is sold in closed containers and consumed elsewhere. (most gas stations, some grocery stores)

C) On/off premises- Beer can be sold in closed containers and consumed elsewhere, or the business can host events where the beer is served immediately, much like a wine tasting. (some grocery stores, most wine stores, some gas stations)

The amendment means that stores with an “off premises” only license will not be able to sell the new beer. However, the on/off premises license is not difficult to obtain and costs the same as the other licenses. Furthermore, more stores have the on/off license than you might think. This is an unfortunate compromise, but once again…Alabama politics.

4. So the fight is over?

Not by a long shot. The 6% ABV restriction was the first priority of Free the Hops, the grassroots lobbying organization that drives alcohol legislation reform. However, Alabama still has many problems with its beer laws—all left over from Prohibition. First, container sizes are limited to 16 ounces or less. This means that you can’t buy beer in 22 oz bottles, a common container for craft beer. Some beer is only available in 22 oz bottles, meaning that the container size restriction is a de facto ban on those beers. Next, Alabama law makes opening a new brewery, brewpub, or distribution company almost impossible. Homebrewing is also tightly regulated to the point that it’s almost illegal. All of these issues choke viable business plans and should be reformed.