However, in my opinion...

Dear Salary

2011-11-05T14:47:00.000+05:30

You.
You work.
You make reports.
You analyse your data.
You make fancy slideshows.
Process numbers in spreadsheets.
Make photocopies & file them for record.
Plans, schedules, meetings, emails, fax, xerox.
Explain your boss why this month was not so good.
Prepare for appraisals hoping for that 15% rise in the salary.
Do you see how your monthly salary dominates 5/7th of your life?
What of the promise that you made to your five year old self?
What do you look forward to when you leave home?
Why are you just a copy of a copy of a copy?
What makes you work the way you do?
Where are your big fat dreams?
Where is all your passion?
Where is the romance?
Where's the fun?
Where?
Huh?

Dedicated to everyone still figuring what to do with their lives while they sit in their offices on a Saturday afternoon.

Copy/Paste: We are an underground.

2011-09-29T13:07:00.002+05:30

Soft rock, hard rock, pop rock, metal, thrash, death, grind-core, nu-metal, black metal, melodic death metal... we've got it all in this over-populated under-rocked country of ours. And yet all we see on TV, hear on radio, see at the BIG concerts is bhangra, indi-pop, remixes and film music. "Could you give us this stuff in Hindi ... and may be add some Indian influences??" is something that any rock band who has made the futile trip to their local record label would have heard. Screw that shit ... we are as Indian as anyone else, and we don't need tablas and Hindi lyrics to prove that. We... the rock and metal fans in this country owe it to ourselves to put ourselves on the map. We are the underground.

So what? This is what we're about. Composing songs, practicing till our neighbours call the cops, skipping work to play shows, putting our hard earned money to buy gear and then putting out records so that people like you can rock your asses off. SPREAD THE FUCKIN WORD. Buy some more copies of this CD, burn yourself still more, make tape copies, rip this fuckin thing to your computer and pass it on. And no, not just to your rocker buddies. Give it to your insurance agent, your aunt in Sri Lanka, your pen-pal in Bangladesh, your adopted cow in Bihar ... or better still, that label executive from Boston, who's half brother of the Dutchman your cousin married last year in Dubai. OK.

Bookstore Chronology: Your Love Life

2011-07-12T15:04:00.002+05:30

2011-06-30T21:47:00.001+05:30

With Facebook for family, LinkedIn for colleagues, Google+ for friends & Twitter for strangers, we now have a social network for everyone.

adidass

2011-05-29T22:28:00.002+05:30

It's Not Me, It's You

2011-01-18T01:05:00.005+05:30

(click image for a larger view)

Would love to credit the original writer. Don't know the source though.

Bombay and Mumbai: A Tale of Two Cities

2011-01-14T03:20:00.007+05:30

Bombay promises, dreams come true;
Mumbai claims its first right to dream.

Bombay makes room for thousands who come in each day;
Mumbai asks them where they've come from.

Bombay is into businesses;
Mumbai never lets anyone mind their own.

Bombay makes movies;
Mumbai makes movies call Bombay, Mumbai.

Bombay is full of colour;
Mumbai is saffron.

Bombay never sleeps;
Mumbai gives you sleepless nights.

Barcelona

2011-01-03T11:00:00.002+05:30

Q. What is the opposite of Barcelona?
A. Andar se lo na!

Airtel and Vodafone: #sameguy?

2010-11-18T21:10:00.004+05:30

eh?

Assorted tweets

2010-10-17T13:37:00.003+05:30

So, 6 posts in 2010 so far against 84 in the whole of '10... Somehow, blogging has taken a backseat. For now, at least. Might as well share what I twate over the last few days:

Corollary: Pedophiles love nursery rhymes. RT @69fubar: Every girl is a poem.

I don't get South Indian slang well... Does 'Kal Madi' mean 'do it tomorrow'?

We men made a huge mistake by sporting bare chests all the time. If we had not, there would've been a huge premium attached to men's chests!

I pay @VodafoneIN 30 bucks a month so that my callers can hear "Is caller tune ko copy karne ke liye pehle star dabaiye phir 9 dabaiye"

Did you hear about the English professor who was against verb? He was pro-noun though! #WordSounds

Why do they call it DoubleU? Shouldn't it be DoubleV? #justsaying

Notice how much MNS sounds like 'Am An Ass'

Shikha and Sanjay #8

2010-07-14T13:35:00.003+05:30

[Shikha has been offered a year-long stint in Singapore. Shikha tells Sanjay that she’s not going as she needs to give him time while he is still looking for a job.]

SANJAY
What? I’m fine! Let it go, Shikh.

SHIKHA
Would you let go, Sanjay? Would you leave me all by myself, looking for a job just for some random opportunity at work? Would you leave me lonely and depressed, Sanjay?

SANJAY
Whoa! Who said I am depressed?

SHIKHA
Not exactly, but… umm… See, I don’t want you to be alone, okay?

SANJAY
Don’t be crazy, Shikh! I’m not alone. I have Gopal and Rajan. Besides, this is a great opportunity. You’ll grow faster with this kind of experience. You’ll earn more, which means more beer for me while I’m still without a job.

SHIKHA
Shut up, Sanjay!

SANJAY
No, you shut up and listen to me… I’m going to fill this in and send it through.
Let’s see… First Name: Shikha…

SHIKHA
Sanjay stop it!

SANJAY
Oh, look at this box… Husband’s Name…

SHIKHA
…Sanjay!

SANJAY
That’s right! Last Name…

SHIKHA
…Sanjay, I’m pregnant!

[Pause. The pen slips from Sanjay’s hand, sliding on the form, almost marking a ‘1’ under the ‘Number of Children’ box. Sanjay takes turns looking at Shikha and the form in disbelief]

SANJAY
You are… what?

SHIKHA
Pregnant! I’m pregnant, Sanjay!

SANJAY
But how is that possible? I mean…

SHIKHA
[Laughs] …you mean you’re not man enough to get a woman pregnant?

SANJAY
Shhh… stop repeating the P word, Shikh.

SHIKHA
Sanju, this is not the best way to react to the news, you know!

SANJAY
Alright, I am sorry! But I wasn’t really expecting this, you know. I am not ready… Shit! This is so unplanned!

SHIKHA
I knew you weren’t ready, darling. That’s why I had planned on gradually getting you into it before I tell you. But you, with this form and all, you left me with no choice.

SANJAY
[Stares at her for a while, takes the form and sits next to her]
Alright, relax! I just wanted the best for you. I didn’t know I was putting you through so much stress.
[Sanjay tears off the letter and the form]
See, you don’t have to worry about it now.

[Shikha smiles]

SANJAY
And I’m sorry about my reaction. I’m glad we’re… pregnant!

SHIKHA
No, we are not!

SANJAY
What?! But you just… oh!

SHIKHA
You left me no choice, darling!

SANJAY
Shikha! I really wanted you to take up the opportunity… Why? Why would you lie to your own husband?

SHIKHA
Isn’t my husband happy that we don’t have a baby coming?

SANJAY
[Laughs] Well, to be honest, I am!

SHIKHA
Great! Now that I’ve made you happy, you’re taking me shopping tomorrow.

SANJAY
No, I cannot!

SHIKHA
Why?

SANJAY
I’m pregnant!

SHIKHA
[Giggles]
No baby, that’s the beer you’ve been drinking!

[She punches him in the tummy. He hugs her. Mush follows.]

--------------------------------------------------
The story of a couple living the Great Indian Dream... Shikha and Sanjay are both MBAs for a year, married for a year and in love for a little longer than that.

Check out the previous posts in this series here: 'Shikha + Sanjay'

Whose Bandh is it anyway?

2010-07-04T22:41:00.002+05:30

Isn't it funny? The same party that couldn't check the rising prices of onion back in '98 is now complaining about the already increase in highly subsidised fuel rates.

This TOI update on tomorrow's proposed bandh across the country, quotes L K Advani saying,

"This may be the first time in history of India's politics that almost all political parties will participate in the Bharat Bandh"

Further, he 'gives credit to NDA Convenor and JD(U) President Sharad Yadav for bringing together even the non-NDA political parties for the one-day strike.'

I can not find a better example of national integration - All the parties of the opposition coming together to decide that the rest of us should not go to work this Monday.

And while TOI reports protest against the hike in fuel prices as the reason for this one-day strike, I saw some Shiv Sena banners fine-tuning the same to their own audience by cribbing about the rising vegetable prices.

Whatever be their motivation, the aam aadmi has no option but to stay home for the day. And since that means having a long weekend, I don't think we have a problem with that really, what say?

Rebel Inside

2010-02-08T14:46:00.006+05:30

Reverse psychology...

(Translation: Please do not spit here, observe cleanliness)

...wonder if it works the other way round.

---------------------------------
Related: 'Now where shall I stick this one?'. Also, check out rest of the 'Seen Somewhere' series here.

Documents for Breakfast

2010-01-26T10:47:00.000+05:30

Happy Republic Day.

Most Indians have a day off today. I went to office though. Correction: I returned from office today. At a time when I'd reach office on a normal day.

23 hours, copy-pasting numbers and formulae. That's what I do these days...
Spreadsheets and slideshows fill my days. And nights. Is this life? I mean, I love marketing for sure. A brand is like your baby and I sure can be a good father. Just not the kind of father who likes writing too much about his kid.

I struggle to use all the reserve energy in getting a ride back home. But eventually, I have to get down. And walk through that lane where the auto cannot enter. I pay him three five-rupee coins. The auto driver gets his bohni. I get on my feet and walk into a one-way street. In the opposite direction.

Somehow, I reach ~~home.~~ the guest house. It's a tough choice between waiting for a cup of tea and submitting myself to sleep. But then, I see my colleagues, fathers of other children, who stayed up for much of the night themselves. And they're just through a third, or less, of all that I just completed. The reports are due on Wednesday morning.

"Happy Republic Day", I wish them, with a grin almost as wide as the one I had the day I landed this job. It is always good to know that you're not the only one suffering.

Happiness is relative.

2010-01-17T07:46:00.002+05:30

there is nothing more terrifying than the protection of fear

there is nothing more disappointing than the victory of defeat

there is nothing more justified then the inappropriateness of truth

there is nothing more reassuring than the clarity of confusion

Stopping at Work for a Lousy Meeting

2010-01-12T11:25:00.003+05:30

My take on this classic poem by Robert Frost.
Written in November 2006, this one is dedicated to all the poor souls who are stuck in their office for most of the time they are awake...

In my GM's cabin I go,
What he thinks, I guess I know.
He's gonna ask me to stay here,
He has a new proposal to show.

It's close to 6, I think it's clear,
Much to my disgust and my fear,
He has a long presesntation to make,
Way past 8, it'll go for sure...

And my boss is a fake,
probably His biggest mistake!
The GM's shit, he will endure,
and preserve it for our sake.

My GM sucks, my boss is a creep,
but a fake smile, I'm obliged to keep,
And tons to yawn before I sleep,
And tons to yawn before I sleep.

Forgive a little lameness, this is some 3 years old. Oh and talking of years, happy 2010!

Shikha and Sanjay #7

2009-11-29T17:29:00.004+05:30

(This is a very special episode in this series, written by Rain, my favourite writer and a great friend.)

SHIKHA
I've just had the worst day at work. WORST.

SANJAY
I got fired.

SHIKHA
What? Baby, are you serious?

SANJAY
No. I just wanted to see if it'd take your mind off your day.

SHIKHA
[getting off the couch and taking slow steps towards him]
You are such. A. Brat.

SANJAY
[walking backwards with his hands held up]
It worked, didn't it?

SHIKHA
[inching closer] I'm going to kill you.

SANJAY
[stops and folds his arms]
Oh yeah?

SHIKHA
Oh yeah.

SANJAY
You'd kill your only husband?

SHIKHA
Uh-huh.

SANJAY
I'm so scared.

SHIKHA
[letting out a giggle] You should be.

[Sanjay pounces on her and starts tickling]

SHIKHA
[through breathless laughter]
Stop, stop , STOP! Please!!

SANJAY
Okay, first say you love me.

SHIKHA
You love----AAAHHH----okay, okay! I love you.

SANJAY
[softly]
No matter what?

SHIKHA
What kind of question is that, Sanju? Obviously.

SANJAY
Even if I really did get fired?

SHIKHA
What?

SANJAY
I did. Okay, no I didn't. Oh, yes I did. No, I didn't. Okay, really, I didn't. I did, I did.
You're confused now.

SHIKHA
No, I'm not. And you did get fired, didn't you?

SANJAY
How do you always know?

SHIKHA
I just do.

--------------------------------------------------
The story of a couple living the Great Indian Dream... Shikha and Sanjay are both MBAs for a year, married for a year and in love for a little longer than that.

For excerpts from their lives so far, check out the label: 'Shikha + Sanjay'

It's not you, it's me

2009-11-22T17:24:00.002+05:30

Is it still about the big tree?

2009-11-19T16:17:00.006+05:30

It's been 25 years since Rajeev Gandhi trivialised the murder of 3000 Indians.
"When a big tree falls, the ground beneath is bound to shake", he said, suggesting that the big tree that Indira Gandhi's was, the deaths were a mere consequence of her assassination.

The speech was delivered on 19th November 1984. And those were not a son's words. He was the Prime Minister then.

It's been 25 years and justice is yet to be delivered.

Meanwhile, congressman Sajjan Kumar, one of the key accused, has enjoyed power as an MP (2004-09). There are many more of them - rich, influential Congressmen who led mobs, killed hundreds innocent Indians and got away with it.

And the Congress still believes, perhaps, that it was all about the big tree.

She & He

2009-11-13T16:36:00.000+05:30

She knew there was a spark somewhere
and he knew there was a story in place.
She gave him all the chances & cues
and he too, never failed to impress.

Some days went here, some days there,
she lost patience and he lost pace
Neither did she wait for him to speak,
nor did he have the nerve to express.

Someone Said

2009-11-10T13:39:00.004+05:30

"If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty"

- Benjamin Franklin

Kids in Bihar, I tell you!

2009-11-09T11:29:00.007+05:30

This, I believe, explains it all...

(Image taken on Raxaul, Bihar on 28-Oct-09)

Check out my previous posts in the 'Seen Somewhere' series here.

Shikha and Sanjay #6

2009-10-29T16:10:00.004+05:30

SHIKHA
[Wakes Sanjay up with a kiss] I love you darling.

SANJAY
Ya.

SHIKHA
Ya?! Sanjay forget good, that's not even an acceptable answer... [mocking him] Ya!

SANJAY
Oh come on, Shikh! I just woke up... can I have some tea please?

SHIKHA
Only in your dreams now. So why don't you go back to sleep, darling?

SANJAY
[After a little pause] Hmmm... [shuts his eyes]

SHIKHA
[Climbs over him]
Wake up, you pig!

SANJAY
What now?! You just asked me to sleep!

SHIKHA
Gosh, I didn't mean... literally!

SANJAY
Oh you women! Can't understand you at all...

SHIKHA
...how many women do you have 'experience' with, Sanjay?

SANJAY
Well, I was quite a stud in college days, you know.

SHIKHA
Ya, sure!
[Chucks a pillow at him. Starts walking out]

SANJAY
Hey where you going now?

SHIKHA
To get you tea.

SANJAY
Thanks. I love you!

SHIKHA
Ya!

And

2009-10-27T15:16:00.001+05:30

In school, we were taught that sentences cannot begin with 'and'.

That's crazy! I love starting sentences with 'and'... They make a lot of sense.
And they drive the point home really well too!

A bit of my bit

2009-10-23T20:20:00.001+05:30

Caught these two cops red-handed, taking bribe at Brigade Road, Bangalore.

Govindaiah (left) and Adiveppa R Latti stopped casually at Geetha Export Garments yesterday evening, close to 6.45 PM. It got me suspicious and I pretended to browse through clothes and talk on the phone.

The moment the shopkeeper passed on the hafta to these guys (probably for using the footpath to display his merchandise), I caught them red-handed and gathered people, who joined me in complete support. I made a call right there to 100 and filed my complaint.

I know it's not going to change the world. But I guess we all need to drop all skepticism and do our bits. I am glad I did.