I’ve already been made to feel bad and argued about the fact that I didn’t comply with what one guy wanted. So I didn’t come over? Don’t insult me because of that. That’s a new experience. I haven’t been in a situation like that before. Otherwise, the other experiences thus far aren’t as foreign to me. For instance, being ignored¹ buy a guy I kinda started liking. I sent him a straightforward message that would, assumingly, bring any guy crawling, and it was left un-responded too. That was kind of a blow. The other would be going on a date with a guy and being sober, realizing, I’m just not that into him. Even casually, I’m no good with rejecting people. I try and be too nice about it but always feel super bad. Any advice on how to get over that? And then just trying to reconnect with a guy who I know only where he occasionally goes, but no phone number. Needless to say I haven’t been slacking or lacking in attention or choices, and I’ve been having fun overall. Go me?

Now on to the double-post of my Project 366 progress thus far! I’m quite proud as I was late with just one photo. Here we go!

1. Do you live close to where you grew up? Why?
I live ~3 hours south from where I grew up¹. I moved down here when my (ex)husband finally started his ATC job.

2. Have you ever been so angry that you almost lost control?
Absolutely. I end up throwing stuff and it usually breaks…

3. Are you a fan of a musical act that slightly embarrasses you?
Does Cher and Celine Dion work for you?

4. Is there a movie that always makes you cry?
A Walk to Remember.

5. Who is the most famous person that you’ve met?
Kobe Bryant and Drew Brees are the most recent, and also the most currently famous. I have a list of celebrities I’ve seen/met, though²

6. Before you leave your home, what must you have?
Phone, keys, lip balm of sorts, debit card.

7. What do you miss the most about being a kid?
Not worrying about bills.

8. Tell us about a passion of yours that your readers would not expect.
I really love Worship music. It’s how I connect to God. It makes me cry sometimes.

9. At what age do you think you’d be to think, “I’ve had a great run”?
70.

Shall I mention the different train station platforms? The one I boarded today is modest and nothing special. However, I do pass through Los Angeles Union Station and it’s a beautiful landmark. I only wish I was able to disembark the train and take in the architecture inside. The exterior ain’t too shabby, either. Then there are the more quaint stations, like Santa Ana and San Juan Capistrano. I think San Juan Capistrano is my favorite. It’s very garden-y and reminds me of my friend, Vanessa. Very earthy, quirky and creative.

I have to say, driving up to Los Angeles, I consumed two cans of Starbucks Vanilla Double Shot. I chose to forgo sleeping and departing around 5am to beat the morning rush hour traffic that’s inevitable once you hit LAX, but not arrive too early compared to my 11:30am train departure. While I only had to make one pit stop on my way, I think I’ve tinkled half a dozen times once I got to my parents’ house.

Now it’s time for a snack of Cheetos and mustard. I know, I’m weird, but I think mustard can make almost anything better

I haven’t really been home and sitting still by myself in several days and I can tell you that I don’t like it. It just gives me too much time to let my mind over think, making me sad or angry. I just spent the past hour or so reorganizing my Facebook photo albums and pruning some photos, especially now that I’m trying to figure out what to do with the memorabilia from my relationship with Devin. For instance, I’ve merged any album that was him-specific with more general albums. I’ll need to start an ex-box soon, too.

Something else that I’ve taken up is Project 365. However, since this is a leap year, it’s more appropriately called 366 if one, such as myself, is aiming for that extra day. I’ll try and post a weekly digest of my photos, and here are this past week’s.

Admittedly, I’m using a camera app on my phone to apply filters and post them to various outlets, such as Flickr, Twitter, Dropbox, & Tumblr¹. I’m not doing it so much to work on my photography skills as I am to just try and keep something up for longer than a month.

The badge I’ve used is courtesy of a PSD by http://www.pixeden.com, in case you were curious

January

• I had my first tooth pulled; my lower left wisdom.
• Bowled my 2nd or 3rd ever 200 game, buzzed no less.
• Opened Veracity MB with Angel, Jennfur & Kristen.

February

• Grandma turned 80!
• Bowling in my company’s bowling tournament.
• Devin’s dad got married in Costa Rica, but I didn’t go .
• Took Drew Bree’s order at work; I had no idea who he was.

March

• My first trip to & from L.A. on the train.
• ZinFest with my parents.
• Bought my new camera.
• My first experience with the flu in concious memory.

April

• Ordered my first Animal Fry from work.
• Watched my first baseball game at Petco Park.
• Experienced a 14 hour day/night in Gaslamp. Way too much drinking!

May

• I made my newest, awesome friends from my bar: Jessica, Missy, Henri & Bobo, amongst others!
• Was named customer service person of the period at work.
• My brother turned 21 and we all went wine tasting in Temecula for the occasion.

June

• Went fruit picking with my Marinara group.
• Devin’s sister was married.
• Got to see Jennifer Love Hewitt sing her own song karaoke (and got it on video!).
• Went up to Silver Lake for the first year without my grandma.

July

• Was surprised by Moon Amtrak day!
• Saw Wil Wheaton at an outdoor screening of “Stand By Me” at Stone Brewery.
• Went to Rocky Horror for the 2nd time ever!

August

• Moved to a new apartment.
• Turned 25 and celebrated at my first gay bar!
• Saw Jimmy Eat World!
• Served Kobe Bryant his food in the drive-thru at work.

September

• My Marinara friends visited me down here in S.D.!
• Experienced the massive blackout that affected most of Southern California
• Snorkeled for the first time.
• Went camping alone with Jess.

October

• Bought my first corset.
• I was served divorce papers on the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing.

Yes, there are two more months that I haven’t mentioned, but that was just the cherry on top of what had been a very tumultuous couple of months with Devin. Everything else since has seemed to be overshadowed by my dealing with that. I experience a bunch of up & downs, of course, but I think I’m not doing too badly in regards. It is what it is and for the best. We just haven’t grown up together and we want different things. Or rather, he doesn’t want to be married and I can’t keep trying to make things work on my own. Time to start anew.

Here’s to a new year with many new beginnings to come…

I will say there’s nothing I’m more thankful for than a good web hosting FAQ. Even if my specific question isn’t in a FAQ, there may be more resources leading me to an answer, or may answer a question I’ll have in the near future. Not to mention, I really hate looking like a dunce, asking questions when they’ve already been answered! There’s really little else I enjoy less than coming across as stupid. Here’s to educating one’s self! Especially in the new year!

As promised, I would provide a retelling of my week up in L.A. with my friends & family that was more positive then the last two posts I provided.

Tuesday was one of my best friend’s 25th birthday. Her boyfriend planned a wonderful surprise party for her at a sushi bar. I was late, unfortunately, and she was already wasted, but the night was fun nonetheless. After that was over, her older sister and I went to the bar I frequent up there to finish up with Porn Star Karaoke and she was a hoot. She loved it.

The next day, my friends from the Marinara group got together to do our Secret Santa gift exchange and make a Hanukkah dinner. We called it Chrismukkah, of course. Our out of town Vanessa was in town from DC and she, along with the other Vanessa, Ryan and Alissa, provided quite a delicious dinner of tri-tip, latkes and matzo ball soup! The rest of us just stayed out the kitchen since we wouldn’t know what we were doing. We lit the menorah for the 3rd night of Hanukkah and exchanged gifts. Of course, we finished up with some highly offensive and questionable rounds of Telestrations.

Christmas with the family was different. We celebrated with all the extended family on the 25th, instead of the 24th like we have done for forever. So, for Christmas eve dinner, it was just the parents, brother and I and we enjoyed tri-tip¹, homemade mashed potatoes ², Yorkshire pudding³, and baked asparagus. The brother and I watched most of Forrest Gump before receiving our traditional Christmas Eve presents of PJs from mom & dad. He got a set of Angry Bird PJs and my mom got me a 3-piece set of pink ones with pants, shorts and a long-sleeved top. I tried trading my brother for his, but he wouldn’t go for it

For Christmas day, my brother woke me up around 8:30 in the morning after he started making coffee. I started the day with some coffee & Bailey’s, followed by champagne. After opening presents and finally drinking the Civet coffee I bought my dad for Father’s day⁴, we got ready and head over to my uncle & aunt’s house. We were the first there in regards to those who weren’t already staying there. Over the course of several hours, my grandma counted at least 37 people in the end, who’d gathered to share Christmas in that house. We had our usual tamales, refried beans, salad & ambrosia dinner and a lot of wine. Nobody suffered from any accidents, there weren’t any fights, everything was very nice as usual. That’s why I love my family. Although, I do wish I still got presents from everyone like I did when I was little lol! That’s okay, I was able to give most of my close extended family something and that made me happy

Now, here’s my Christmas haul:

• Navy scarf (from Sandra)
• Lindt Lindor chocolates (from Sandra)
• Handmade necklace & earrings (from Vanessa, my Marinara secret santa)
• Handmade bookmarks (from Vanessa, my Marinara secret santa)
• Tiltpod (from Jenn, my Lavish secret santa)
• Box of liqueur filled chocolates (from Jenn, my Lavish secret santa)
• USAF sweatshirt with the Hap Arnold on it (from dad)
• Pink PJs (from mom & dad)
• $15 iTunes giftcard (from brother)
• Burt’s Bees lip balm, tic tacs, coffee mug, lotto scratchers, nail files (from santa)
• Check for $$$ (from mom & dad)
• $30 cash (from grandma)

The end

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
As it will come out eventually, I’m going through a divorce. That is what started in 2011 that I’ve never gone through before.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No. I don’t even think I made one. I’ve spouted off that I’m going to quit smoking for this coming new year. We’ll see how that goes.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, can’t say I can think of anyone.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my theatre teacher’s son

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Stability.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 20th. It was the 3rd anniversary of my grandpa’s death and the date I got divorce papers served to me (excellent timing, Devin).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Fuck… I don’t know.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Marriage?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had the flu earlier this year. At least, I think it was the flu… it was pretty gnarly, regardless.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My phone.

12. Where did most of your money go?
The bar.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The final Harry Potter film and seeing Jimmy Eat World.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
As much as I can’t stand it anymore, Adele’s “Someone Like You”

15. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Older or wiser? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
Sadder, wiser, thinner, richer.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Living.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Fighting, crying, waiting around.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
With my parents and brother, at home.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
Dexter, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yes.

23. What was the best book you read?
I don’t know if I’ve finished a book this year…

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’m not sure… Adele?

A camera.

26. What did you want and not get?
My husband.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Deathly Hallows 2.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to a couple of gay bars with my friends in San Diego. I turned 25.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being fought for.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Comfortable but trying to catch up on the times.

31. What kept you sane?
Laughing and friends.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jared Leto.

33. What issue stirred you the most?
The people playing the part of victimized Christians. STFU and GTFO.

34. Who did you miss?
The guy I fell in love with.

35. Who was the best new person you met?
All of the friends I’ve really made this year in San Diego <3

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
If you’re not being fought for, they’re not worth being fought for.

I’ll talk about my gatherings with friends in another post, but for now I just want to whine about how I’m feeling sick now. I started feeling it on Monday, but I just figured it was due to my getting drunk on Christmas. Nope, it was the start of the all too familiar settling of mucous in my lungs, and with that comes the labored coughing, trying to get it out and burning from trying to do THAT. Ugh. Monday, my sinuses just felt raw. I presumed it was from the dry air¹ and maybe smoking more than I thought I did. I slept with my humidifier on last night, but that didn’t seem to help much. Either way, it’s time to load up on the Mucinex and Theraflu, as well as continual sleeping with the humidifier.

The one thing that made me feel better was Gunny missed me enough that she slept with me for quite a while last night, at various points. She doesn’t do that on an everyday basis, so yay! haha

I’ll post more positive things later, I’m sure. I said I wanted to whine, and I did, so now it’s time for bed. Thankfully I get to sleep in, as I don’t work until the evening tomorrow!