Well, it isn’t 2005 any longer.  I’m not 24, and I’m no longer fascinated with web technology, but I won’t back down from a challenge.

In an old blog post, I wrote about writing goals for work.  I was having a hard time coming up with meaningful ones, so I skipped that and came up with life goals instead.  If I remember correctly, I wanted to be able to attack a bear (if necessary), look people in the eyes more, keep old friends and make new ones, accept difficult solutions to difficult problems, and never say no to trying something new.  I think that post was about 4 years ago, and I’m happy to report I can say I am continually accomplishing those goals today.

A little over a year and a half ago I started a personal training program at work.  I was never in bad shape before, but I was no way ready to attack a bear if necessary.  Since then, I’ve lost 25lbs, lost 15% body fat, gained muscle and stamina.  I’ve ran in relay races, half marathons, and triathlons and have a feeling if a bear decided to bring it… I could take him… well, at least a small one.

I suppose more important than kicking a bear’s ass (or running away fast enough), is it started a trend.  A trend to continue to challenge myself physically and mentally.   I’m not entirely sure how far it will go, but the journey itself is worth it for now.

It was yearly performance review time a short bit ago, my results will be delivered to me next week. I don’t enjoy writing about myself, writing about my accomplishments at work, you know.. selling yourself. It feels wrong and cheap at times. Coming up with that bulleted list that will get filtered, diluted, overlooked, fingered through and largely ignored is task for a slimy greasy hair schmooze to take on. Or is it? I don’t enjoy looking for credit in things, yet leaving my future day to day activities up to the decision of others isn’t something I revel in. But is the key to success constantly selling yourself? Does it have to involve claiming credit? Even the turd parts? Or skip the turd parts… time for some cleaning.

For someone’s who’s brain-mouth connection is more limited than others, the delivery of inspiration is more difficult for me. This gets drastically easier when I’m making the case for something I’m truly passionate about. The other stuff gets rattled around and mixed up in the brain box looking for best way to deliver it, and it can get regurgitated too quickly. The passionate stuff has had more time to settle, more time to organize before it gets delivered. But that isn’t fair for the other causes. So, shooting from the cuff isn’t my strong suit, but stop me and ask me about a better way to tie your shoes and prepare to be dazzled. Blow your mind. Dazzled. I probably just need more practice.

The trouble I have is remaining consistent though. I can’t be all gun-ho one week about a trivial item, and then the next week, let it slide. People see through that very quickly. The secret might be picking my battles more carefully. Waiting for the good or easy battles isn’t the best solution, as they are too few and far between. Perhaps the new battle can be just the battle itself. Remain consistent for consistency sake.

Get angry, remain calm. Ignore credit, become a whore. Listen, speak. Ignore, kick some ass. The correct balance is typically somewhere in the middle, and that’s where I live.. fairly consistently too I feel. That doesn’t mean I’m uninspired. It means I’m open minded.

There is a lot power in middle… and it is time for that to be FUCKING NOTICED. please.

Can I even do it anymore?  I think I should be able to.  I think that I won’t get distracted, or discouraged.  It was pretty easy “back in the day”, when my mind was fresher.  Or was it?  I’m thinking it is just lack of practice, so.. here I am practicing.  No promises.  Ha.  There I go again.

My attention span has decreased.  Few things can seem to hold it past the initial excitement phase.  I wonder if that means there are too many ideas bouncing around in there, and none of them good enough?  I see something shiny, or think of something unique, and then the thoughts fade.  Not sure where they fade too, I think they just fade.  No, They don’t fade, They stay in there, because I keep thinking of them, and I get burdened by not acting on them.  So I think the solution is to either start acting on some of them, or stop letting them in.  Acting on them takes risks…

I’m stuck in short bursts these days.  Short enough to fit into a Twitter post, or a Facebook rant, but not long enough to warrant explanation.  That seems wrong.  There are a few things that remain constant.  There’s Cassie.  That’s a conscience choice that seems to not fade.  She’s there every day, she’s in my thoughts during the space between, she’s there every night when we come home.  She is my.. nearly everything.  And I’m completely cool with that.  Then, there’s M*A*S*H.  That’s a weird one, but it is peaceful and calm.  It reminds me of a constant in my younger life when change was difficult.  My childhood was far from chaotic, but I did move around every three years, and there was a time where that was very difficult.  But, then there was M*A*S*H, on everyday at the same time.  Now I watch it every night while going to sleep.  Another very “constant” place for me, bed.  Seems to match the need for M*A*S*H quite well now that I think about it.  Then more recently, there has been Dave.  I listen to music most days, and most of those days are filled with Dave Matthews.  I have a playlist on the iPhone that nearly I always click named “best of Dave”.  That playlist includes every song of Dave’s I have.  What does that mean?  I discovered Dave Matthews in college.. a defining time for most.  I really heard him in a Jetta that some dude that worked for Microsoft drove.  The Space Between was playing, and the Microsoft dude was singing with it.  Horrible horrible singing, but Dave was good.  I don’t really love that song now, but I appreciate the meaning and have quoted it often.  Ha, even in this post.  Not sure what it was about that car ride that triggered a desire to seek out his other songs and finally attend his live shows.  Now, I listen to mostly his live albums.. I like hearing the crowd with him.  That probably stems from the first of his concerts I went to when I experienced what it was like for thousands and thousands of people to actually feel “present”.  It was a calming yet profound experience.  The entirety of the Gorge was completely focused on the same thing, at the same time.  Sure there might have been some stragglers worrying about hot girl next to them, or finding the next beer, but those were drowned out by all the people actually There.  And there’s family.  My first constant.  Grandparents for breakfast every Sunday. A complete welcoming love every time I see mom.  A constant and powerful support from my father regardless of what I’m up to.  A brother that is always there for whatever is needed.. sometimes for poking fun of.. sometimes for letting me make him feel uncomfortable.. sometimes for having him cook me food.. sometimes for remembering random memories of grape wars or Blue Hawaii, but always there.  More recently there’s been my new family.  The antics and youthfulness of my niece and nephew.. they give me hope that the world is fine and balanced.  Then there’s my weird inherited sisters that get to live life a bit more.. freely.. and that’s fun to think about.  Some of it rubs off on me.. but probably not enough.  Their closeness to Cassie is rewarding and inspiring, and it is fun to build a little bit of that between us with them when they visit.

So.. are those constants enough?  They aren’t taking up so much as to not let others in.  If anything, they should be examples of what happens when you do.  I’ll work on extending my attention span.. focus on a few more things.  Maybe it’ll be my day job.  Maybe it’ll be bettering the people around me at my day job.  Maybe it’ll be the next wood working project.  Maybe it’ll be planing Airstream vacations. Maybe it’ll be working out.  Maybe it’ll be enjoying more movies.  Maybe it’ll be drinking.  Maybe it’ll be volunteering.  Maybe it’ll be… Maybe.

Made a bit nervous today, but all is well now!

Or another approach might be:
Plug in your iPhone

Go to the Apple menu, Click on “About this Mac” to launch system profiler

From there, go to USB and locate the iPhone. The serial number listed it actually the UDID. Input that on the register devices page and unplug and replug your iPhone

Melt butter with sugar, syrup and water in a pan.
Stir with a wooden spoon
Add the almonds when butter is melted
When mixture comes to a boil, set timer for 10 minutes.
When it crackles – pour mixture onto cookie sheet.
Spread thin.

Eat

Seems easy, makes sense. but it isn’t easy, it is tough when you are tired.  I could blame work, or I could blame staying up watching Alias till 12:30 on a Sunday, but that’s dwelling.  I don’t like to dwell (unless it is modern architecture magazine that has a hint of retro and a splash of scandianavian wonderment)  I shall just diverge.. leaving the work backlog, the missed opportunities, the monantanous-ness, the delayed shipments and the remaining few days of the Bush presidency behind.   Now is the time for good fortune, recycled holiday paper, splendid Russian Tea Cake cookies delicately rolled in sugar by a starry eyed 6 year old, fine wine and delicate snow flakes.

I get to give my dearest wife some gifts, but only after snorgling in front of the fire watching Love Actually.  I get to see the joy that is Bonsai after returning from the vet from a teeth cleaning session.  I get drink plenty.. and I mean plenty.. of perfectly prepared frothy chias.  Then, there are the friends, the family, the cans of cooked chicken… all there for me.  Knowing that, makes it that much easier to skip the water.  No thanks, I’ll have no more today.

This man nailed it. Look at the world we live in, everything is amazing. If you want a cheeseburger, you can haz one with a click. If you see a cute girl you can just go up and say, “I think you are really cute.. I’d like to have coitus with you.” and magically it won’t happen. This kind of thing is just amazing, just picture that conversation centuries ago, and the outcome. Now we have shows like The Big Bang Theory that people download off bitorrent at 456K/s and stream wirelessly to their hacked AppleTv’s using 802.11n wireless protocols that will show young nerds visually the results before they attempt it themselves.

If you comment on your sister-in-law’s facebook page, they will gladly send you presents out of the blue.. nice presents.. thoughtful ones.. just like that. Baked goods, a bluray player or exotic lumber all work. Last year, that would have required a phone call! And seriously, that would just be awkward.

You can talk into your iPhone, ask it anything you want and it responds. Try it, I just asked mine if icanhascheezeburger and it displayed a cat riding around on a roomba. How amazing is that? If you tried that before yesterday, it wouldn’t have worked, nothing would have returned, and now.. a cat riding a roomba.

If people wish for world peace when they blow out their birthday candles, Bono dies a little inside because he’ll have nothing to do. Years ago, he would have welcomed the help! Think of how great people like Ben Bernanke feel these days that people know who he is. His middle name is Shalom, I know, because I just asked my iPhone, and I just wrote about it on my Wordpress blog.

My “boss” had a birthday today and we get a day off next week. He didn’t have a birthday yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that. I know, I just asked my iPhone, I won’t share the response it gave me. But imagine how amazing it will be to have 4 days off, in a row. It wouldn’t have been amazing before if I hadn’t had a day off in months and months. Why aren’t people happy about that?

Come on people, enough is enough. We have flying seats sending you from NY to LA in less than 1 generation, we have cats and roombas living together, cheezburgers, Penny in shorts, semi-autonomous iphones, horribly generous sister-in-laws, and old “bosses”. Be happy. Everything is amazing.

I’m not a big fan of the holiday (or taxes) but I buy the candy. Cassie bought 5 bags of it this year, 5 bags for 10 kids in costumes. The leftovers will be brought to work and shared with my fellow coworkers.

My vote for Obama tomorrow is my vote for Halloween, or my bringing extra candy in for my coworkers. It is my choice, my opinion, my voice that people need help and I want to give it. What’s weird about this candy is that I would get more candy back, because I don’t hide 250,000 snickers in Switzerland a year. But, if, and when I do, I want to share those candy bars with those in need, all those different people in all the different socially affected costumes we force them to wear.

It is always more fun to share.. with everyone. Both my parents taught me this, all my friends and family have benefitted from it. Now it is their turn to share.

Vote for sharing. Vote for caring. Vote for hope.

disclaimer:
If sharing isn’t enough of a reason to vote for hope tomorrow, how about making sure everyone is healthy regardless of preconditions, leaving a place where they don’t want or need us, talking to everyone (regardless of whether they like us), ensure the Internet is open and free to everyone, or ensuring the future will be one made up of educated individuals who like to play with everyone regardless of race or creed or religion or genitals or without.

Hold on to hope.

Splendid picinick at a park w/ a wedding in the background, with my someone special.

Enjoyed a hike on a summer afternoon to the top of a mountain, breeze was blowing, with my someone special.

Drove to a casino one evening, a sunset was out, we won enough $ to buy a small metal boat which I spent many wonderful hours, with my someone special.

Built a home, our home, with my someone special.

Approved for a home loan, filled out 1000000 pages of paperwork, with my someone special.

Picked out a wonderful orange fuzzy puppy, with my someone special.

A great move across the state to get closer to family, with my someone special.

Adopted a cat, whom is acceptable the majority of the time, with my someone special.

Using milk frother for the first time, and all the subsequent chai’s, with my someone special.

Drove across Canada in my German land cruiser, eating everything in sight, with my someone special.

On August 23rd 2003, around 6pm on a very splendid evening, I had a wedding, and married, my very special someone.

There are more, but it is time to drive home to my special someone. Dooce; says no matter the vastness of an event, it can be summed up in 3 seconds afterwards.  The last 5 years were about as vast as I have had.. but yet..

“Happy Anniversary Cassie.  I love you.”