Miles and Macey

Qik - Macey notices boys by Tara Smith

2010-05-23T20:30:00.001-05:00

Qik - The kids play "domestic abuse call" by Tara Smith

2010-05-23T20:18:00.003-05:00

In retrospect, perhaps we shouldn't let the kids watch episodes of "Cops."

Bad Language

2010-04-26T20:00:00.002-05:00

Macey, who is now three, has developed a new three-year old vocabulary, which includes the very naughty word "stupid."

A few minutes ago, I overheard her in the bathtub loudly insisting, "Kids are stupid!"

"Oh no! That's not very nice," I told her. "Why would you say that?"

"Because Adam is stupid."

"Oh, Macey, I want you to say sorry."

"Sorry." (Pause.) "But he says stupid words."

Macey, the Humanitarian

2010-02-13T00:45:00.004-06:00

Miles hasn't been feeling well the past couple of days: he's been pretty lethargic and complaining of fever, aches, sore throat, etc. I always feel sorry for him when he gets truly sick, but even if I didn't, he wouldn't let me forget for long that he's under the weather.

At one point we were in the van and he whined, "Mommy, I don't feel good." I expressed appropriate sympathy, and we road in silence for a few more minutes until Macey observed, "I want to kick him and see if he has a headache."

On a related note, Brett and I were happy to see her express actual sympathy last week. Bear Grylls from Man Vs. Wild bit the head off a squirming river trout, and Macey gapsed, "Oh, that poor fish!" How much does it say about her... erm... willful personality that both her mommy and daddy looked at one another in relief that she had shown her first real sense of concern? Oh, Macey, you little stinker. I love ya, girl!

Macey's Beautiful Picture

2010-01-29T11:14:00.002-06:00

Here's how the conversation went:

Mom: "Can I see the picture you were painting?"

Macey: "Yeah, I'll show you."

Mom: "Oh, wow... what happened?"

Macey: "It broke."

God and Santa

2009-12-24T14:41:00.003-06:00

Brett, Miles, and I were walking through the woods, discussing the relative competency of "girls." I pointed out that girls can be very smart.

"Yeah, but you're not smarter than Daddy," Miles retorted.

"Oh really? How do you know?"

"Because nobody's smarter than Daddy except God and Santa."

Mother-of-the-Year or Future Therapy Talking Point?

2009-12-20T21:15:00.002-06:00

I'm not a bad mom, I swear. It's just that... well, kids are so dumb. And my kitchen floor was really dirty. I can explain...

So the kids and I often play this game where they're at "school" and I'm the teacher, Mrs. Smith. A few days ago, I was trying to make dinner, but they wanted my attention. So I gave them a couple buckets of soapy water and some old t-shirts, stripped them to their underwear, and let them slide around on the kitchen floor until it got clean.

This all made a lot of sense until yesterday, when the kids started asking me outside our house, "Mrs. Smith, can we please wash the kitchen floor again?"

It's almost as bad as the rule Macey has taken out of context. She always decides she wants to cuddle right after she's eaten a particularly messy meal. So I made this innocent little rule where she's not allowed to touch me while her hands are sticky - she has to wash them first. That backfired, though, when she started asking me at random times around others, "Mommy, can I touch you please?"

Miles Makes Some Observations on Fear

2009-12-08T21:01:00.006-06:00

This evening we had our annual church board dinner. Miles and Macey were in childcare with some of the other kids, including adorable four-year old Addie (see picture), who has recently decided that she intends to kiss Miles and marry him.

When Brett picked the kids up this evening, Miles was a little troubled.

"Dad, I don't like girls."

"Oh? Why not?"

"I am very afraid of them." (Macey in the background: "I'm not afraid of them! I'm not afraid of them!")

Brett, chuckling: "That's not fear, son."

"Well, I think I am very afraid of them."

"Why do you think you're so afraid of them?"

"'Cause they just want to give kisses."

"Oh they do?"

"Yeah. It's their secret weapon... I don't have anything like that. Boys just have guns and swords."

Macey Can't Be Bothered To Keep It Straight

2009-12-06T11:40:00.005-06:00

Random comment on the way out from church: "You are Mommy, and the other one is Daddy."

It Might Be Funny

2009-12-05T13:22:00.004-06:00

Macey was playing with a needle-and-thread set I'd had out to fix one of Miles' toys. I said, "Oh no, Macey. Don't play with that. You might get hurt."

"Or," said Macey without looking up, "it might be funny."

Macey's Mission

2009-11-20T10:47:00.004-06:00

A few nights ago, Brett and I were in the car discussing "Radical Mission," the non-profit organization Brett runs through our church. Macey was in the back seat and had been pretty quiet until she chimed in, "I have a mission."

I turned to look at her, surprised she even knew the word and thinking maybe she had picked up something insightful at Sunday School. "Really? What's your mission?"

She looked out the window dramatically. "Oh, it's about ducks and stuff."

Macey's Promises

2009-11-06T23:16:00.007-06:00

Macey is always assuring me of random rules that it hadn't occurred to me to establish. Like, "We don't cut off our fingers," or "We don't eat paper." A few weeks ago, I pointed out a spider in our laundry room. The conversation started out about the same as usual:

Macey (solemnly): "We don't eat a spider."

Mom (distracted): "No, we would never eat a spider." (Pause.) "Wait... would we ever eat a spider?"

Macey: "Yes."

Mom: "When?"

Macey: "Um, thirty minutes."

Mom: "Who was with you when you ate the spider?"

Macey: "Miss Rene."

Mom: "What did she say when you ate it?"

Macey (matter-of-factly): "She said 'ew'."

Car Trip Chatter

2009-09-21T21:20:00.003-05:00

A couple of great moments on the drive to Indiana today:

Mom: If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be, and why?

Miles: A cheetah, because I could run really fast!

Macey: A tiger, 'cause rawr.

Then, later, when we'd been on the road several hours and morale was low, Macey ran out of things to tattle on Miles about. I knew she'd hit the bottom of the barrel when she fussed, "Miles is... um... looking at horses, Mom!"

My Blogging Strategy

2009-09-18T11:08:00.003-05:00

I feel my plan to alienate everyone who reads this blog by not updating for eight months is nearly complete. Anyone up for some new Miles and Macey stories? Anyone still know this blog exists?

Throwing Rocks

2009-04-03T09:57:00.003-05:00

I have proof that Miles and Macey are not dead. I saw them recently. Although their parents don't update about their lives, I thought I should. Maybe it will get the ball rolling. If I had video of the following story, I would post it. That is most likely because I'm a mean uncle, and I think that pictures of my nephews like this one are really really funny. Here is goes:

Miles and Macey came to visit last weekend. We had a great time with them. Macey is as rotton as ever, and Miles is growing up way too fast. I got to see his soccer video, and I was so proud of the way that he played. He played way above his age group, outside of the cluster of other 4 year olds that attacked the ball, waiting for a pass, and then would make a break for the goal. He had all his teams shots on goal, and 2 goals (although the blind ref only counted one of them). We took Miles to a bridge near Kevin and Teresa's to throw some large rocks off the bridge because that is really fun. Miles selected a rock that was about the size of half his head. He proceeded to pick it up over his head to throw it in the water. Unfortunately it was a touch too heavy for him, so instead of throwing the rock in the water he dropped the rock on his head. He cried a touch, but was actually okay very quickly, in my book that makes this a funny story, not a sad story.

We're the Winner

2009-01-21T14:48:00.004-06:00

So today we took the kids through the drive through at BackYard Burger for a quick lunch. As I was ordering Miles was apparently watching over my shoulder on the order display screen. As I finalized the order, the clerk said, "Your total is $15.93" and the display flashed "$15.93" on the screen. Miles said with glee, "Wow, we sure got alot of points on that one huh dad!?!?!"

Seriously, the kid needs to get a job - soon.... : )

The red coats are coming! The red coats are coming!!

2009-01-14T22:14:00.005-06:00

We recently moved Macey into a toddler bed which has so far proven to complicate the whole sleeping event. At 12:44 a.m. the comforting hum of static in the baby monitor was shattered, as was my sound sleep, by a long drawn out "mooooommmmmmyyyyy" - oh boy, just wait it out, it could be a false alarm, just sleep talking or something. It came again this time a bit louder and more concerned "mommmmyyyyy??!!??" Mommy never wakes up mind you, unless I give her a convincing shove in the ribs. I was still holding out hope that perhaps that little sleep thief would just doze off again. No such luck, the final cry came - this time louder but muffled sounding "moooommmmmyyyyyy!!!!!!". I rolled out of bed, mumbling about how lame it is that kids don't just sleep soundly, or feed themselves, or change their own diapers, or get a job....

As I opened the door and my eyes adjusted to the night light I could see that Macey was not in her bed, but was still moaning unintelligibly. I spotted her laying on her face in the middle of her bedroom floor. There my was my little Paul Revere, half way laying on the floor draped over the top of her rocking horse (which had fallen over). Not sure at all what she was doing in that position at 12:44 this morning but she looked terribly uncomfortable and sounded the way I would imagine a person would sound if they were thrown from their rocking horse.

This is just another joy of parenting, thought I would share.

Because I said so......

2008-12-21T18:39:00.003-06:00

We were gathered to watch Elf the movie and my daughter recognized me on the TV - I was starring in an Iron Gym infomercial - She screamed "daddy!!!" as she pointed at a perfectly sculpted man doing chin ups. What a sweetheart!

Not two minutes later as Elf came on the screen, a small troll of an elf came on the TV and Miles screamed "daddy!!!". What a chump!

I guess it's just hard to know sometimes how our kids are perceiving us - except when they make it this easy. Merry Christmas to me!

Thursday Feature: Dear Miles

2008-12-18T10:30:00.005-06:00

I didn't have a question to ask Miles today, but fortunately he supplied one for me. He's got to be the only kid in the world who regards the story about Santa Claus with suspicion:

A few nights ago I was tucking him in and he looked troubled. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Mommy, why is Santa Claus so.... so sneaky?"

"What? Sneaky!? What do you mean?"

"Why does Santa not want you to tell me what my Christmas presents are? I just... you... like... you don't have to give them to me. Just tell me what they are."

I told him I can't tell him what his presents are, but I'll have to think about why Santa Claus is so sneaky. So what, dear reader, do you think my answer should be? I'll ask him again later tonight when I tuck him in and see if he's thought of a solution. I'll post his response in the "comments" section. (Facebook readers, you can see comments in the blog itself - www.milesandmacey.blogspot.com.)

What I Miss Out On While At Work

2008-12-16T14:02:00.013-06:00

Macey is sick today, so I stayed home from work with both the kids. Sometimes I wonder if we're not paying the day care enough.

----------------------------------------------------

Cartoon character on TV: "Let me get you some hot tea."

Miles: "Did he say hot pee? Ewwwwwwwwwww!"

Macey [chanting delightedly in the background]: "Hot pee! Hot pee!"

----------------------------------------------------

Later, after a particularly startling moment on the cartoon...

Miles: Whoa. That made me poot a little.

Macey [wandering aimlessly down the hallway and still sweetly singing]: "Hot pee! Hot pee!"

New Lexicon Words

2008-12-06T11:53:00.002-06:00

I've added two new words to the Miles Lexicon. One of them is particularly timely, so be sure to look to the right

(this way --------------------------------------------> )

for a great new addition your Christmas vocabulary this year.

If you usually read these on Facebook, be sure to scoot on over to the blog (www.milesandmacey.blogspot.com) to see the Miles Lexicon.

Thursday Feature: Dear Miles

2008-12-04T17:51:00.005-06:00

I admit I've put this one off for awhile, but April Shrum really set me up with a loaded question: "Dear Miles, Where do babies come from?" (Thanks a lot, April!!) It went something like this:

"Babies come from heaven," Miles answered without even looking up.

"Oh," I said. "So how do we get them here?"

"Well, mommies and daddies drive to heaven to get them. Well, first the baby grows inside someone's belly, then you take pictures and it comes out. Then that one guy Jeff, he comes over to keep the house safe--"

I interrupted him, "You mean Pastor Jeff?" (I have no idea where that one came from...)

"Yeah,that guy."

"So are you pretty sure a baby grows inside someone's belly?"

"Yeah. Probably a girl grows inside your belly, but I'm not sure about a boy. I'll have to ask Dad. He's pretty smart. But I... I was born before him, so I'm smarter than him."

"Oh we'll definitely have to talk to him about that. So tell me one more time." I prodded him, "Do babies start out in heaven first or do they grow inside someone's belly first?"

He gave me a withering sigh. "It's both, Mom. Heaven is inside people's bellies."

Because I said so......

2008-11-28T21:38:00.004-06:00

I was driving with the kids this evening and the newness of Christmas lights still gets Miles gloriously excited. As we drove by a neighbors brightly lit nativity scene Miles yelled excitedly, "Dad look! It's God! He, he's right there in those peoples yard!" I said, being sure to emphasize that Jesus was there in the manger - and he is God, "yes, Miles, there is Jesus in the manger." This was a typical nativity scene with the Mary and Joseph and donkey and cow present. Miles was still so surprised as I responded he finished by saying "Holy Cow! They have God in their yard".

A New Euphemism

2008-11-25T12:16:00.003-06:00

I was walking down the hallway past the open door to the bathroom when I saw Miles sitting on the toilet, with a particularly strained expression. He noticed me and said, "It's okay, Mom. I'm okay. I just need to get this sorted out."

Welcome to Miles' World

2008-11-18T16:17:00.005-06:00

For a slightly larger view, go to the YouTube version.

Otherwise, here ya go: