Milligrams

Forged in Retail

Mo — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 09:53:21 +0000

It’s nature plus nurture, it’s genes expressing themselves within a particular environment, it’s ending up like your parents. We’ve both got something that’s gone wrong with our heads, my mom and I, and have each shuffled through several medications to squash it, whatever it is (something on the bipolar spectrum). In the meantime, something must [...]

After Midnight Effects

Mo — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 09:58:12 +0000

4:30 am, buds, and you know what that means. Electric fire on the brain. Not just awake but really really awake – but not aware that this is very out of whack. I think I’ll make it all day on less than 5 hours of sleep, every time. I guess not this time. I almost [...]

Roller coaster

Mo — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:49:10 +0000

Wow but am I on a roller coaster these days. I fly into fits of interest in things and then not only abandon them a day or two later, I even forget all about them. I’ll come across a profusion of bookmarks and possibly even books on the subject and think, now did I really [...]

My Insomnia Can Beat Up Your Insomnia

Mo — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 10:37:19 +0000

It’s the other kind – not the one where you can’t fall asleep, but the deal where you wake too early. I started out slowly: wake up just before the alarm, day after day, then a half-hour, then an hour before the alarm. Then I just stopped with alarms altogether. And all my life I’ve [...]

A little hypomania in the markets

Mo — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:57:33 +0000

All right, I’m hypomanic. I spent $950 on stocks today before 10am. I bought an SSD drive for my computer that I totally did not need for $400 over the weekend. Thank god it is the start of a new month, and I can set some limits. And thank God that Mint is working again, [...]

Journaling again, and advice needed

Mo — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:55:37 +0000

I thought I’d lost all my MacJournal entries, and at first I wasn’t disappointed or depressed, then I realized that the power of looking back a year, two years, and more is invaluable. Now I just have to figure out a way of integrating my Journlr (the program I used to use before it ceased [...]

The Freelancer’s Margaritaville

Mo — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 18:19:34 +0000

Day One of my unemployment. I’m freelance, working usually 7 weeks to 6 months at a stretch. Then it’s out into the jungle again to look for work. It’s exhausting, and has made me wonder whether I was smart when I chose my profession. Back then I didn’t know this bipolar time bomb lay in [...]

I call him Spendy

Mo — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 21:11:20 +0000

I call him Spendy. This is what I feel like on some of those mornings when I wake up at 4:30 am, wired and hypomanic. The urge to spend is strong, and my mind is wired for acquisition. When I played World of Warcraft years ago, I’d spend most of my time in the auction [...]

Mo — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 02:34:40 +0000

My highly keyed-up, observant but pedantic shrink wants me to get a neuropsychological exam for ADD. I haven’t looked it up yet, can barely type it, don’t know anything about it. I don’t want to read what I know is out there — yet. I’ve read Addy Bell’s post and I feel like that’s all [...]

No eye contact

Mo — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 02:43:37 +0000

Going months at my current job, still fairly new even though I’m freelance, and several months as a freelancer can be like forever — but I feel new to it still. All the more today, because I came to an understanding about office life that I’d never had before. I normally work in an editing [...]