Millions of Miles

A Few Of My Favorite Things

2012-01-26T11:00:00.001-05:00

A few things I am totally loving right now:

Favorite Books:
Like everyone else in America, I devoured The Hunger Games Trilogy. If you liked those (and seriously, who didn't?) I'd recommend the Matched Trilogy by Ally Condie. They have that same ruling society thing going on which is just fascinating to me.

Favorite Movies I've Seen Lately:
In Theatres: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Holy moly, this was a good one. And a tear jerker- take a tissue.
On DVD: Dolphin Tale- this is such a great inspirational family movie- no bad words and a great message. It's one of those rare movies that grown ups will love just as much as the kids.

Favorite Thing I've Seen On Pinterest:

You can find the pin that leads to the tutorial HERE.

I made this little gem of a gift for my husband last week and gave it to him for the 12th anniversary of the day we met. Since I am NOT crafty in the least little bit, it took me well over six hours to make and I was totally buzzed off of the rubber cement, but the look on his face as he was reading it was well worth it. (or almost worth it!)

Favorite New Thing on TV:

Infested on Animal Planet: a show about people's crazy bug infestations. It totally gives me the creepy crawlies, but is fun to watch with the kids. It airs on Friday nights.

* And of course I'm always watching: Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, Teen Mom 2 and Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood. I love me some Tori Spelling!

Favorite Blogs:

For Style Ideas (that I will probably never use but like to look at) The Pleated Poppy

On Marriage and Family: Kingdom Twindom +1

About Adoption: Never A Dull Moment

When I Need A Good Giggle: Flower Patch Farm Girl

On Special Needs: Noah's Dad

Favorite Article Of Clothing:

I usually stick to blacks, browns and grays, but I decided to bust out of my comfort zone a little and buy a bright cardigan (not that a cardigan will allow you to go super far out of your comfort zone, but still.) I'm loving this pale purple cardi that I got on sale at Target.

Favorite Accessory:
A few months ago, I won a gift card from an auction to The Vintage Pearl. I ordered a hand stamped necklace with all my kiddos names on it. I'm a little bit addicted to wearing it. I love the way it jingles. I get so many compliments on how cool and unique this necklace is. It may just be my favorite necklace I've ever had.

Favorite Ethnic Hair Products:

For a long time, we've been exclusively using Miss Jessie's Baby Buttercream for a daily hair moisturizer. It is worth the price. The 8 oz. tub last us about 6 months. If your kiddos have really damaged hair or have just come home and their hair is needing a little extra TLC, Miss Jessie's Rapid Recovery Treatment is amazing.

Favorite Ethnic Skin Products:
After trying just about every single lotion and body cream on the market, I ordered some of Kiara's homemade organic body butter. It has been a lifesaver for Miles' thirsty skin. The moisture lasts all day and leaves his skin with a beautiful sheen and it smells delicious. Our favorite scent is the sweet orange. We've been using this body butter for almost a year now and I wouldn't put anything else on my little one's skin. It absolutely is the best thing I found to fight dry skin.

Favorite Thing On My Wishlist:
I have a birthday coming up in the spring and I only put one thing on my list: classic black shoes from Tom's. And yes, I have already mailed the link on how to order them to my husband's work email.

Favorite Quick Family Meal:
I've discovered this awesome soap mix (Bear Creek Potato Soup Mix) that is out of this world. Serve it with a crusty bread and you've got a hearty meal that only takes about 3 minutes of prep time.

Favorite Child To Advocate For:

Eva

Eva is an adorable 1 year old from Wisconsin with what is believed to be a near fatal form of sickle cell. She needs a very special family to love her despite her uncertain health prognosis Homestudy ready families can check out her profile HERE.

Always My Fave:
These three little hooligans who call me mom (and who also can't EVER all three look at the camera at the same time!)

What are you loving right now? Anything out there that's super cool that I should be aware of????

Big Giant Photo Dump

2012-01-24T10:46:00.001-05:00

As I exported all the photos off my phone, I realized that there are tons that I haven't shared! One day, I'll have a fancy phone that actually has a flash, until then, I apologize for the crummy quality :-)

Pedicure Time! I take pride in raising metrosexuals.

"Mom. Take my picture. I can make my foot touch my nose. And I can tell you that my foot smells terrible!"

Chillin' at the dentist. No cavities!

Papaw Johnny's Birthday dinner at Waffle House.
Because nothing says you are special and we love you quite like eating eggs and grits at the diner counter.

Papaw Johnny and Miles. Ladies, he is single (my dad, not Miles) I'm just sayin'. I'll hook you up.
*my dad will DIE of embarrassment when he reads this* but I'm totally SERIOUS!

I love this boy.

I found this at the bottom of Sadie's backpack. I'm assuming that the mean mom on the right is me.

Aunt Kennethia's birthday dinner!

Kamron's chicken was shaped just like Africa. He was not amuzed when I stopped him mid-cut to take a picture.

Miles and GranMary

Lazy Saturday morning pancakes.

I saw this truck at the grocery store and it horrified me.
And then made me feel sorry for this guy's wife.

Noah and Phil.

Riding the Attachment Roller Coaster- On and On and On and...

2012-01-23T13:19:00.001-05:00

I've been a little absent from this blog lately. Parenting has been a pretty much 24 hour a day job for the last 2-3 weeks. I mean, I get that it's always "supposed" to be a 24 hour a day job, but HELLO! Sometimes we get used to our cozy lives and click it into autopilot for a while. Those times are nice every now and then- those times when you can stop pedaling and just coast down the hill for a little while.

I always find it's those times when you are coasting and think that you've totally got this mothering thing down, that's when the wheels fall off. Our wheels are teetering right now with Miles. He's been riding the attachment roller coaster since he came home almost two years ago. (Dude- do they ever let us off of this ride?!?!) For the last 4 or 5 months, we'd been in an absolutely awesome place with him. He was doing well at school. He was loving. He was making and maintaining appropriate boundaries and relationships. The boy was firing on all cylinders. Then... well, then it all went to hell. Sometimes I struggle with writing about our attachment insecurity. I don't want to seem disparaging to my son. I don't want to put all of his private feelings out on the Internet. But at the same time, writing about it helps me to make sense of it. And reading other families' experiences with the same things has helped me on this journey tremendously. So for better or worse, I'm writing through it.

I can pinpoint the exact moment the shift happened in him. Our friends lost their sweet adopted son to leukemia a few weeks ago. Many families from our Congo adoption group were in town to attend the service and we all met for lunch with our children. 9 families. Lots and lots and lots of cute, little brown children everywhere. That's when Miles shut down. I could see it in his eyes. Surrounded by all those Congolese children, in his mind, Miles was right back in the orphanage. He has black children in his class. We have black friends, but for some reason, being in a room full of Congolese children is just different for him. He goes through this every time we have a reunion, get together, etc. Every time I think that this time is going to be different and it isn't.

Two years ago, this little incident would have resulted in continuous raging from Miles: tantrums, violence, screaming and aggression at levels that weren't normal for a two year old. We've figured out ways to tame the tantrums. In fact, it's been about a year since he's even had one. However, he's crossed right over to the other extreme of the insecure attachment spectrum: complete shut down.

It was almost like something in Miles just died inside and he wasn't sure how to make sense of it. He became physically frozen many times- almost like he couldn't remember that the next step was to move his leg or his arm. Two years ago, he was stuck in complete fight. Now he's stuck in complete fright (which is the third thing that I would add to fight or flight. Psychologists need to add fright in there. I'm just sayin'). There is a fear that has just taken over him. He's often been afraid to talk, sometimes becoming mute for hours on end or only muttering incoherent babble while he looks like he's in a trance.

He's gone back to hoarding his food. People, if you've never deal with a child who has suffered from extreme malnutrition, you just have no idea how often food issues arise. Two years without adequate nutrition (remember he was 2 years old and only 13.5 pounds) not only does a number on a kid physically, but damages them psychologically for years to come. Even though we've worked so hard for years to teach Miles that food will always be available, when he gets trapped in fright mode, he forgets that. He's been throwing up his dinner every single night as a result of anxiety and over stuffing his food.

He forgets how to do his everyday tasks like throwing something in the garbage. He walks in the kitchen and stops and stares. He stares at the garbage in his hand. He'll stare at the garbage can. He'll ask if the garbage is supposed to go on the chair or in the sink. When we redirect him to the garbage can, he then looks at it like he can't figure out how to open it even though he's done it a hundred times before. Same with hand washing. (You mean water comes out of the faucet?) Or putting on shoes (Do these go on my hands?) Or picking out clothes. (He'll get two shirts and no pants) I understand why he does this. I get the brain science behind it. I get the emotional trigger behind it. I get that he sometimes needs to test us and his boundaries to make sure that we will still love him. But it still is so frustrating!!!! I find myself screaming in my head, "Just put on the damn shoes!" and it makes me angry at myself.

And then there are the weird little things that happen. Like my mom popping over and Miles telling her over and over again that she needs to leave because she's going to steal his stuff. My mom handles these kinds of things like a champ. She and I both calmly reminded him that he is safe in his house and no one will ever steal his things here. I get that he knows that she doesn't live here and he's protecting his territory, but he adores my mother and spends lots and lots of time with her and it was a little heartbreaking to see the whole thing play out.

Heartbreaking. That's a good word to sum the whole thing up. Heartbreaking and full of suckage. As much as I wish that I was always patient and loving in response to all the craziness, I'm just not. I try to give myself some slack and grace when I need it. After all, how can I give it to my son, if I don't believe in grace for myself. But holy moly! When my dinner gets interrupted for the fourth night in a row because the table just got puked on, I *may* just lose it. (and for the record, we are now giving him one bite at a time and praising him when the whole thing is swallowed and not hoarded) Sometimes it just too easy to get really mad when he's speaking gibberish or not speaking at all when I know that he has words in there and knows how to use them! Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to put Miles in his room for a break when I know that what he probably needs is some one on one cuddle time with mom. Sometimes parenting him makes me feel so inadequate. Sometimes it just reminds me that life isn't fair and that kids shouldn't have to go through abuse and trauma and all the other crap that people do to their kids.

No one is perfect at this "game". I screw up with my biological children all the time too. But for some reason, I don't give myself the same room to mess it all up with Miles. I feel like he's already been through too much and that he deserves only perfection from me. I know that it's not realistic. But for some reason, that's just how I feel. I can't help it. With Miles, I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I always wonder if I'm doing exactly what he needs or if my attempts at being therapeutic are just screwing him up worse. I'm working on letting that go and realizing that we all screw up our all of our children, no matter how they came to us. After all, what will they say in therapy when they are older if they couldn't talk about how their mother's screwed them up? :-)

I can feel this cycle coming to a close. He's back to using words 90% of the time. He's back to interacting appropriately. He's slowly coming back to that place where he doesn't magically "forget" how to put on his shoes, walk, eat, chew, open his mouth without drooling. He's sleeping well, and basically get back to himself. It's a process- and one that takes time and sometimes just has to run it's course.

As I think over the last 2-3 weeks where we've been in this "rut" I'm extremely grateful that we don't visit this place very often anymore. That this is now more of the exception than the rule.

For my own benefit, I'm just going to take a minute to list a few of the things that I love about Miles. Do you ever do this? I think it is great free therapy and an awesome way to get our brains out of focusing on the negative and creating a space for the positive to flood in. (This also works awesome for times when our husbands are being butt heads!)

Miles great qualities:
He is adventurous and loves to go out and try new things and meet new people.
He gives good hugs.
He looks adorable with his backpack on when he's ready to go to school.
He tries to do everything his brother and sister do. Which drives them crazy, but makes me happy to see him look up to them so much.
He loves his daddy and pounces on him the moment he comes home from work.
He tries to make funny jokes and laughs at himself all the time.
He's athletic and is not afraid to push his body to it's limits.
He never meets a stranger and is friendly to everyone he meets. He makes a lot of people's days.

Oh, and he's just so darn cute I wanna sqeeze him.

My New Gig

2012-01-20T16:03:00.001-05:00

I've got a new "gig" that I am so excited about. After treating my body like a human garbage disposal for the last 18 months, I'm proud to be Nutrisystem's newest blogger!

All my life, I've been a dieter. And not a good dieter. I've done just about every unhealthy thing imaginable to get my weight under control. As a very young adult, I thought that I was "fat" at 125 pounds. I'd kinda like to slap that girl now, but she's long gone. Over the years, my weight has gone up and down and fluctuated with pregnancy, extreme dieting, stress, depression and pretty much everything else that can affect a person's body. I've suffered from body image and self esteem issues my whole life.

But now... ahhhh, now...now I'm in a good place. For the first time in my life, I feel good about ME. I feel good about the path that I'm on. I feel good about my marriage. I feel good about my children. I feel like I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. So now that things on the inside are feeling good, it's time to make the outsides match.

For the last year and a half, I've put nothing but garbage inside my body. I'd like to give a list of reasons for why this is, but basically, they'd just be empty excuses. It all boils down to the fact that I just haven't made myself a priority or honored my body in the way it deserves to be honored. There are some days when I get in bed and realize that I've not put a drop of water in my body that wasn't in a carbonated form. Or had anything green. Or any fruit.  Or anything of any substance what so ever. My body has completely revolted.  Weight aside (because I do think you can be healthy at pretty much ANY weight) my body just hasn't felt good.   In the last 8 months, I've had to be scanned twice for suspected cancer. I've not had very much energy. I've not been able to sleep as well because the extra weight is causing me to snore.  What I've been putting in my body has directly contributed to the decline of my overall health. I'm a vibrant and happy 30 year old and my body and unhealthy habits are holding me back!

I've proved to myself that I can't make the lifestyle changes I need to get my health back on track on my own. Isn't that the first step? Admitting you are powerless and can't do it on your own? So when Nutrisystem came a callin' I jumped on that wagon as fast as I could.

You know that I don't use my blog to promote products very often. Or ever, actually. But, well, this is my space and this is what I need to get my body back to a healthy place. I've finally come to the conclusion that I am worthy of dedicating some of this space that I've carved out on the Internet to my journey back to health.

Nutrisystem is going to be my intervention.  Part of my first shipment of food arrived today and here's why I love it:

1. It's easy. The plan is all laid out and so simple to follow. I'm a busy gal. And while I want to be mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth, I also don't want to have to obsess over it. The food obsession is NOT good for me and Nutrisystem's plan allows me to be mindful without constantly having to worry about what I am or am not going to eat next.

2. My consultant allowed me to customize my meals. (they do this for everyone!) In my life, I've never felt more healthy and had more energy that when I was a vegetarian.  So I've customized all of my meals to have plenty of protein without actual meat.

3. With cancer being rampant in my family, I've read enough stuff to know that some of the things that we put into our bodies don't help with prevention.  With Nutrisystem, I'm able to take chemicals and preservatives out of pretty much all of my food because their entrees are flash frozen, instead of canned or processed and laden with preservatives.

4. The meals just look so darn tasty. And lets face it- if it doesn't taste good, lifestyle changes are never going to stick!

Nutrisystem Vegetarian Black Bean Tortilla Soup-
otherwise know as what I'm dying to have for lunch this week! Yummo!

I'm inviting all of you to follow along with me as I reclaim my health. I'll be posting a weekly update with how I'm feeling, how the plan is going and how much excess weight is coming off a result of actually putting good stuff in my body instead of junk. I'm super excited about it!

I just had my daughter take my before picture. I figured that today was as good a day as any since I actually had on real clothes and makeup after having coffee out with a pal today. I'm posting the picture, but I'm not quite ready to claim my weight or my jeans size publicly yet. I know that I am more than just a number on a scale or a number printed on a label in my pants, so perhaps one day I'll be brave enough to announce my starting weight to the world. For now, though, I'm just happy to be on the road to wellness with Nutrisystem! Stay tuned for my transformation...

My before photo

Disclaimer: As compensation for sharing my journey with Nutrisystem, I am provided all meals and support services free of charge. However, all opinions about the program are entirely my own.

The Bar Scene- Then and Now

2012-01-19T10:48:00.000-05:00

I went to a bar last weekend. Well, not really so much a bar, but a pizza place with a bar kind of attached to it. The kind with a bathroom that looks like a construction zone that has things like "Call Katie for a good time" written on the stall wall. Totally not my scene. But my husband's band was playing there and in my effort to be a better wife in 2012 I went out to support him. I had a friend meet me there- and she brought a friend named Davey Crockett. No lie. An actual decedent of the Davey Crockett. Only in Kentucky, y'all.

I walked up to the bar to order some drinks for my friends. I sat down in an empty chair and waited for the bartender to come and take my order. I felt a little tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to see who had tapped my shoulder and heard a voice that sounded like it was straight out of that bus scene on Forest Gump. "I'm sorry, you can't sit here," said a semi-attractive man who looked at me like I couldn't get out of the seat fast enough. I told him that I was just ordering a drink and I would be gone in a flash. But seriously! The nerve! He said that he was saving the seat for someone who was supposed to meet him. 30 minutes later, that seat next to him was still vacant, and I couldn't help but take it personally! (And *maybe* be secretly happy that perhaps the seat police jerk had been stood up?!?)

I flashed back to my early bar going days where random people would actually ask me to sit down next to them, not tell me to get up! It got me thinking about how different it is for me to go to a bar now, in my 30's as opposed to going when I was 19. And yes- I was going underage. Dating the guitar player in the band had certain perks. As in- you got to carry enough heavy equipment that the bar owners would never ever ask you to put it all down and actually show your ID. For the record- I am NOT proud of my 19 year old self. But oh-my-gawd, we had some fun back in the day! And if my daughter ever dreams of acting this way when she's 19, I will lock her in the tower (cause, ya' know- I have a tower) and throw away the key.

Here's a little rundown of how the bar scene is different now that I'm a lame

@ss 30 year old:

(click on a pic to enlarge it)

The Lead-up:

Getting Ready:

The Shoes:

The Drinking:

The Dancing:

The Leaving:

The Thing That's The Same:

Yes, this hot guitar player in the leather pants circa 2001...

... who has thankfully traded in his leather pants for a nice blue suit.

Thank you God that we are NOT 19 anymore!

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

2012-01-12T13:42:00.002-05:00

I would give about a million dollars to remember what it feels like to be bored. Someone in our tiny town hit the lottery last night for a cool mil. My mom told me about it this morning and for a split second I truly thought that maybe it was me. And then I remembered that I didn't buy a ticket. But seriously- can someone deliver a chill pill or a sedative to my door STAT? It feels like we have been bombarded lately with more than our fair share of bad news, busyness and other crap.

In that spirit- there will be no coherent blogging today other than some bullet points. Here goes:

Noah left his coat outside overnight a few nights ago. In a mud puddle. Which then froze into a mud/coat/leaves and grass popsicle of fabric. I tossed it in the washer and dryer and threw it on him in time for school. Luckily we noticed that my pair of giant, big lady, pull-up-to-your-boobs drawers were stuck to the velcro before I sent him out the door. It broke my heart a little bit that my knickers stretched all the way down his coat and covered three whole strips of velcro. Also- I just said knickers. Boo.

We had one afternoon of really nice weather and we needed a break in the worst way, so we ate dinner out (at the ripe ol' time of 3:45 pm because we roll like old people) and then stopped at the park for about an hour to soak up the sunshine. It was really good for the soul.

Our classes to become foster parents (in hopes of adopting through foster care) began this week. It is a ton of paperwork and another ton of information but I kinda like it. It's the logical progression toward some more estrogen in this house. I am super pumped.
We are all still madly in love with Phil- our new guinea pig. He is the best pet we've ever had. He sits on the kids' laps for hours and loves to watch tv. If I would have known how great of a pet a guinea pig is, we'd have gotten one a long time ago. The kids are actually eager to take care of him and feed him every day. They even clean out his cage without having to be asked. Sadie has been begging (read: whining incessantly) for days and days for me to bring him to school so that she could show him off. Her teacher agreed to let him come and Sadie took Phil to 2nd grade. She got in front of her class and talked to them all about caring for guinea pigs. I was so proud of her :-) She's going to be a great teacher one day! That is, if she lives to be an adult. I'm convinced that 8 is the new 13. Can I get an amen?

They are calling for a whopping 1 inch of snow here, which means that we had to make a run last night for milk and new sleds. The boys have discovered that sleds are a lot of fun on the stairs. Shoot me now.
We also took a little trip to the bookstore so that Sadie and Kamron could spend some of the giftcards they got for Christmas. Bookstores are like crack for my kids. They love 'em. And I love seeing them get so pumped about reading. Noah is very into the I-Spy series. Miles will only read/play/watch/wear/look at things that have Lightning McQueen or Mater on them. Sadie is reading The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. Have you read that one? We are loving it. It's a great read aloud. Last night we all curled up in bed and Sadie read it to us. She now officially reads faster than her father- who hates to read with a passion. Don't tell him I said that.

Noah's our little illogical child. As we were grocery shopping he said, "Mom. Did you know that bigfoot exists?" "Really?" I said, "How do you know?" Noah replied, "Well, are foxes real, right?" I told him that foxes were in fact real. "Then that means that bigfoot is real." Ummmm, not sure how that relates, but he was convinced. Perhaps we have a future attorney in our midst?
I've become obsessed with reruns of The Big Bang Theory. At night when I'm trying to turn off my brain, it seems to be the perfect thing.

In addition to sliding down the steps on top of sleds, blankets, each other, etc., the boys have also discovered wraslin'. This is one of those things that no one warned me about when we brought a second boy into our family. They will beat the absolute crap out of one another and laugh the entire time. And somehow, Miles always ends up with his pants pulled down and his crack hanging out. I consider the exposed crack to be part of his wrestling uniform. I'm in full agreement that it is better than the unitard high school wrestlers wear, so I'm all for it. Also- he is on an underwear boycott. (I have some big lady undies he could have)

And the other thing... they have decided that climbing into Phil's cage is super fun. Does anybody want to buy some boys? I'm not joking. A dollar? A quarter? Free? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Struggling

2012-01-11T14:29:00.001-05:00

I've been really struggling to put my fingers to the keyboard and share what's in my heart. Our little Congolese adoption community was rocked last week with the passing of little baby Theo. Theo came to the US about 10 months ago. Within a few weeks of coming home to be with his sweet family, Theo was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia. He passed away after a hard fought battle. Another one of our dear friends also lost their baby this week. Two little precious lives lost in one week. It's one of those things that I will never understand.

I attended my first funeral service for a child and with that, my emotions are all over the place. I'm having some tough conversations with God. If I were to write about all of it and share my feelings about the unfairness of life sometimes, it would not be pretty. I just can't seem to make sense of any of it. Perhaps soon I'll be ready to talk about it, but not yet. In the mean time, could you all go and leave Theo's family some love today? They have been a pillar of strength, but I'm sure they could use all of the prayers and words of encouragement from strangers that they can get.

Theo

Tiny romantic

2012-01-09T14:41:00.000-05:00

Noah: "Mom. Can you hang this leaf from the fan so I can pretend it's a disco ball while I dance under it?"

He turns on Don't Stop Believin' in the background.

"Mom! Come dance with me!"

That boy is going to be a hopeless romantic one day.

I ♥ him.

Eye Update

2012-01-04T13:11:00.000-05:00

It's been a little over a month since Miles had his first eye surgery and about 2 1/2 weeks since his second one. We are SO pleased with how his eyes are healing. I was terrified of having this done, but two eye doctors told us he could have permanent vision loss as a result from how droopy his lids were. I was afraid that he would come out looking like Micky Roarke or some other plastic surgery disaster. I was afraid that he wouldn't look like my same little sleepy eyed boy. But I also didn't want him to go blind or have further difficulty with his eyes. This is just a little update on how our little man is doing.

Here he is before the surgery- with no crease in his lid at all. He had to tilt his head back to see most things out from under his lids. I promise, we did not allow him to smoke a doobie before we took this picture.

Here he is mid way through the healing process. He's messing with me in this picture so it is a little extreme, but it's the only one I took of him mid way through. But seriously- it was a pretty gruesome looking post surgical site.

And here is my sweet boy now. My boy who can see! I think it looks pretty good! There are still a few stitches left to dissolve on his outer lids (the internal stitches are permanent). I think he still looks like himself- just a more rested, less stoned version :-) Oh- and handsome, too! Yep, I think I could stare at those chocolate brown eyes for the rest of my life. *sigh*

Someone please sentence me to solitary confinement

2012-01-03T11:52:00.002-05:00

Two weeks ago, I thought that I was the best mom on the planet. We were doing Christmas projects, loving on our neighbors, talking about Jesus and loving being all together for Christmas break. Fast forward to this week and I think someone needs to perform and exorcism on me. I have been taken over by something awful. Actually, I think that lots of awful just piled up on me.

I kept a smile on all through Christmas. I reveled in it. It rocked my socks off. And then the Christmas let down happened. Kids were tired and cranky. I was tired and cranky. Our house was a disaster of the worst kind. The kind where there are no clean forks for days on end. And then the thing happened that just pushed me over the edge. Hubby had surgery 3 days after Christmas. Yup. The man had surgery. Not the "man" surgery (although I'm working on that!) but nose surgery. Which is about 300 steps closer toward shoot me now than the "man cold".

He tried to be a good patient. Really, he did. He picked up 95% of his own grody tissues. He made his own cups of water after the second day. But he slept for like 20 hours a day for five straight days. (which was fine. He needed it.) But that meant that for over 100 hours I was saying, "Shhhh! Daddy's sleeping!" which by day two advanced to "Hey! Be quiet. Do NOT wake up daddy!" to "OH MY GOD! DO YOU ALL EVER SHUT UP? DADDY IS STILL SLEEPING. DO NOT MAKE A PEEP OR I WILL PULL YOUR TONGUES OUT!" It was not one of my proudest moments.

I think that because this was the third surgery in a month in our home (2 for Miles and 1 for Kamron) and Sadie had a bout of pneumonia and Noah was diagnosed with childhood migraines, and we threw 4 Christmases in there, I was quite literally hanging on by a thread. I think that I was a born caregiver. But come on. That is a LOT of caregiving. I think that I only had 3 days in all of December where I got more than 3 hours of sleep at a stretch. All the coughing, Tylenol administration, changing of bloody nose bandages and other middle of the night duties had taken it all out of me! I may have even googled "would I enter a state of catatonic bliss if I take two weeks of antidepressants at one time." By the way, I didn't because then I'd have to pay for the next bottle out of pocket since insurance wouldn't pay to fill it before the two weeks were up. I now know that for me the price of happiness is NOT worth the $114 copay!

So... I went from being the very best mom version of me that I could be to being the very worst version in a matter of days. I went from thinking that I have the very best life in the world to thinking that I am just not cut out for being a stay at home mom and that if my husband ever had a serious illness where he needed to sleep 20 hours a day for the rest of his life that I would probably just need to crawl in a hole and die. There. I said it. Yikes. Go ahead. Judge me. I judge myself. In fact, I'm sentencing myself to at least a month of solitary confinement. (How wonderful does that sound?!)

And then, like magic when I was just at the end of my rope a miracle occured. Those blinking lights came around the corner at 7:10 this morning (no, not the cops to take me away) The bus came to take 66% of the children in this house to school. Halle-freakin-lujah! Then 100% of the husbands that I have went back to work. Y'all, the balance has been restored. (cue the angels) I spent the morning in my pj's with one little cutie snuggled up on the couch reading books and watching cartoons.

The bus has already dropped one back off at home. But because this is all back to normal I was able to laugh it off when Miles screamed, "Noah pulled my pants down and my butt came out!" instead of lose my chit. Ahhhhh, routine is an amazing thing. I'm so glad it's back. I'm going to take that routine and love it and squeeze it and call it George. Megan + George = True Love.

Too Much Wine...A Cautionary Tale

2012-01-01T09:07:00.003-05:00

My husband had surgery on Thursday. ( I know, it feels like all we do in this house is have surgery!) He had a deviated septum repaired and it has NOT been fun for him! He was back in surgery and recovery for what seemed like FOREVAH. I decided that I needed to wander out of the waiting room and stretch my legs for a bit. I'm so glad that I did, because just down the hall, I found this little gem of a statue just waiting for me.

Isn't it a dandy? I call it "Too much wine will turn your pubes purple". In case you overindulged a little too much last night on New Year's Eve, perhaps you should take a peek in your pants and make sure that you didn't fall victim.

I hope that your 2012 is all you hope it will be!

What A Year It's Been!

2011-12-31T20:19:00.001-05:00

Wowza! If 2010 was the year of craptasticness, then 2011 was the year of healing. After adoption and attachment disorders rocked our world, rocked my marriage and rocked our entire sense of what made us a family in 2010, I think that this was the year that we put ourselves back together and learned how to love and how to have fun together again. It truly was a healing year for everyone. For that, I am so grateful. This time last year, I really felt like it all could have gone either way and thankfully, it went in a way that kept us all in tact and stronger than ever before. Here's a little look back on our year.

Winter:
* Miles got dreadlocks that only lasted about 2 months before we all got frustrated
* We attempted to move our giant dog into the house. This also didn't last long as the kids stressed her all the way out.
* With your help, our annual vacation raffle raised $10,000 for people in DRC and Haiti. Y'all rock my socks off.
* I spent some one on one time with Noah and he learned a whole lot about dinosaurs
* We celebrated Miles being in our family for an entire year.

Spring:
* I got called fat on the Internet and freaked all the way out. Then I won an award for my freak out as I was named a Blog Her Voice of the Year for that post..
* Hubby and I went on our first vacation ever sans kids. We rekindled the romance in Hawaii. It was 12 kinds of awesome.
* I got a hamster stuck in my hair.
* We saw MAJOR improvements in our attachment and therapy with Miles.
* I asked plaguing questions including some regarding moldy butt soap.
* I turned 30. Uh-huh, yes I did.

Summer:
* We got a visit from the guardian ad litem and my children discussed boogers with her.
* Sadie kicked serious butt in karate.
* We spent the whole summer in the blowup pool in the backyard.
* We took the whole family to Mexico and it was also 12 kinds of awesome.
* Sadie got mono, we fostered 2 kitties and I talked about all the things I was in love with this year.
* Miles turned 3 years old and became a citizen!

Fall:
* We announced that we are beginning the adoption process again for a daughter (from foster care)!
* Noah turned 5.
* Sadie turned 8.
* All three kids started school (at three different schools!)
* I met Bob Harper and Guilianna Rancic and my boob came out of my dress.
* My husband won an award- Best financial advisor in Shelby County. GO Kamron!
* We took a weekend trip to Chicago and had a blast.
* I had my first mammogram and a cancer scare.

And now here we go into 2012- a year full of promise. A year where we will hopefully add another child to our flock and make many more memories as a family of 6. But first, a look back on the most buzzed about, commented on and most viewed posts of 2011. Enjoy.

THE ANATOMY OF A HAIRCUT: ...Then come the foils. Oh my Lord. Whoever decided that putting tin foil on one's head while coloring one's hair must have been high. That is the only explanation. And we DO IT happily! And we feel like we are PAMPERING ourselves! Putting on aluminum helmets in the name of pampering? Maybe we are the ones who are high. I'm just sayin'.

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO? ...It seems to me that everywhere I turn, people are getting and giving more and more rules about how to be good advocates for people in the third world. In some ways, I think that this is really good. The masses are being educated about how to help without being harmful. We are learning to be mindful and respectful of culture, local economies, etc. But on the flip side, I now have no idea of what to do. All I hear is that pretty much every single humanitarian act that people do, actually hurts more and creates more bad policy than if regular people just did nothing. It seems that the more I learn and the more that I study poverty, that there is really nothing left to do because it all seems wrong.

FOR THE CLAIRE DUNPHY'S AND NOT THE CLAIRE HUXTABLE'S: ...I'm the mom who forgets to take snacks to the soccer game and the mom who forgets to send in a toy on toy day at school and all other matter of things that make my kids feel crummy. I'm the mom who looks at the floor with last nights dinner all over it where the kids dropped it and thinks, "I signed up to be a stay at home mom. Not a maid." I always envisioned myself spending hours reading books with my kids and making healthy lunches to send to school and doing craft projects all the time and somehow, after life has pulled me in all it's other directions, those other things just don't get done. And they are the ones that are most important.

THE COST OF THE ROYAL WEDDING... WHAT IF? ...WHAT IF... instead of spending $800,000 on the royal flowers... 320 houses were built for families displaced by the earthquake in Haiti. What would that look like?

RULES FOR BOYS: ...#8. You are not trying to kill anything in the toilet when you pee. It is not necessary to shoot so hard that it splashes. Pee is not short for torPEEdo.

400 POSTS- OPRAH MADE ME THINK: ...Because someone is gay, does that mean that they have less of a heart for God? Or because a woman is an unwed mother does that mean that her family is less pleasing to God? I think not. I think that the ultimate reason that each of us is created is because there is something unique in each person that delights God. I think that all the circumstances that bring us to each point in life, create that uniqueness in us that brings pleasure to Him. He created those things in us for his delight for a reason. Even though we don't always understand different lifestyles, cultures, or behaviors- doesn't mean that they are wrong or that they separate us from God. I think that God created YOU to be YOU and man's judgement is inconsequential. When the church becomes a place where ALL people are truly welcomed and valued, only then do I feel like we are carrying out the true mission of the church to bring ALL the world to know Him.

THEM BOTH GOOD: ...People outside the adoption world often don't understand why people adopting internationally don't adopt "our own" children (meaning American children). I've heard families (and even heard myself say) that at least in America there is a system. There is a foundation in place to make sure that children are fed, have access to schools, etc. While it is argued that children in third world countries would often face death or starvation in an orphanage if they were not adopted. I'm mad that I ever heard myself utter those words. At the root of adoption- families are created. It doesn't matter where the child is from. It doesn't matter that the child had and opportunity to go to school or not. It doesn't matter that the child had access to free and reduced lunch or not. It simply doesn't matter. Just because a child could go to school, doesn't mean that the fundamental need to be a part of a family goes away. Essentially what I am trying to say is that this hierarchy is ridiculous. All of these children deserve a FAMILY.

RAISING HUMAN BEINGS AND LIFE LESSONS FROM THE DUGGARS: ...I'm just as guilty as the next person at sometimes looking at my children and thinking that I need a break or that I need to do "something more" with my life. We've been tricked into thinking that being a mother is not enough. We've been told so many times that money, success and happiness can't happen with too many children in tow. But what if we took a step back and remembered that our source of joy comes in our community and relationships with other people? What if we remembered that the world's definition of success is not the same as God's definition? What if we remembered that the lives of the children we are entrusted with matter more than all the other "stuff"? What would that look like? Would that look like the pure joy that Michelle Duggar has for raising children? What if that wasn't so radical? What if delighting in each creation was the norm, instead of the exception?

TALKING TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT RACE: ...I think so many times as "white Americans" we feel like we aren't allowed to talk about "black people". Or we pretend that we are all the same. And while yes- it is SO important to teach our children that our hearts and capabilities and human nature ARE the same- that there are some differences in culture and lifestyle and looks that we need to respect, appreciate, accept and celebrate. Kids need to know how to handle themselves and make sense of the situation when they encounter other people that don't look like them. I can not tell you how many times children (and adults) come up to Miles and rub his hair and say something like, "Wow! His hair feels weird! Why does his hair feel weird?" I think that we are failing our children by not pointing out that differences are what make us unique! We are not talking to them about how skin, hair, noses and eyes can look different across different cultures. We are not teaching them that the white standard of beauty is not always the right standard of beauty. We have worried so much about being politically correct that we have neglected to teach our children that unique looks and cultures are something to celebrate! We fear talking about race because we are afraid of looking racist.

OMG, WTF, SOB AND OTHER THREE LETTER WORDS I WANT TO SCREAM : ...I have very thick hair. Typically, in between cuts, I'll pick up my thinning shears and pull some of the heaviness out of my hair. It was time to do that little trick on my reddish atrocity. I thought that I picked up the thinning scissors. In error, I picked up the regular scissors and proceeded to cut a giant chunk out of the side of my hair. (mistake number 4). It was very, very horrible. I may have panicked a bit. I mean, first the God forsaken color and then this- the cut heard round the neighborhood. In my panic, I thought, I can salvage this! If only I thin out the chunk, it won't be as noticeable! (Mistake number 357)

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS! 

Foto Friday- Christmas

2011-12-30T10:47:00.001-05:00

Every year I say that it was the best Christmas evah. I mean it every single year. But this year was A to the Mazing. The kids thought everything was so magical. We did four Christmases in 3 days and there was not a single bit of family drama at any of them (now that I have never been able to say!) We hosted two of those and they were fabulous times of having family together. And y'all, hubby even cleaned the whole house by himself before hosting his family while I ran last minute Christmas errands. I kid you not, it was all very Mary Poppins. So, before the New Year approaches, I wanted to share some of our Christmas pictures.

My mom's house. Classic Overachiever. Maker of all things beautiful and matchy. I love her.

Sadie and Daddy

My cute mom and sweet step-dad trying to make all seven of their grandchildren sit still for 22 seconds.

Me and the sexy man I married.

Christmas Eve after church

the outtake

Miles and aunt Kennethia

Kamron's side of the fam.

Christmas Morning!

Her first American Girl doll.

Papaw Johnny blowing up the giant flying fish that he got for Noah. Unfortunately, it was missing half the pieces and is on it's way back to flying fish return heaven.

I never want to forget how cute they look in footed pj's on Christmas morning.

The boys playing with their Uncle Bradley.

My whole maternal side only missing a few cousins. I think it will be awesome to have two brown kids in this picture next year :-)

This is what happens when you celebrate Christmas a little too hard!

Happy New Year! May 2012 be full of awesome.

Life List

2011-12-28T13:03:00.000-05:00

It's the season of New Year's Resolutions. This year, I'm not making resolutions because I never seem to follow through with them. Instead, this year, I'm making a list of things that I want to do, see, learn and accomplish in my life. Here are 100 things that I'd like to start working toward. I hope that I can cross lots of these off in the next year. (I'll update this from time to time with my progress!)

learn to speak a foreign language fluently
apply to be on The Amazing Race
record my grandmothers telling me their life stories and how they met and fell in love with my grandfathers
learn to focus on health instead of weight loss
travel to at least 10 foreign countries that I've never been to
go to midwifery school and spend at least a year using those skills in a 3rd work country
write a book
be on a talk show as a guest
learn to knit
read something by Charles Dickens
get rid of my children's outgrown clothes
move one last time to a home that I will live in forever
enter and run in a half marathon and actually RUN the whole way
stay in a hut over the ocean in Tahiti
renew my wedding vows on my 20th anniversary in Hawaii
take a road trip in an RV and visit as many National Parks as I can in a month
continue having a weekend retreat with my girlfriends annually
continue going to at least one conference a year that is just for me and my writing "career"
learn how to dress for my body type
stop drinking diet Pepsi... again
start my own non-profit organization and get a great board of directors
take a cooking class
visit Washington DC and do the tourist thing
learn how to make my Mamaw's sourdough bread
learn how to make my Granny's pulled cream candy
find a church that I am in love with and pour myself into it
learn how to accessorize
take a dance class of any kind so that I am not self conscious about dancing in public
learn how to coupon and meal plan
have my own garden
grow fruit trees in my backyard
find an excercise that I actually like and commit to do it daily
have built in book cases
get laser hair removal on my eyebrows
get very drunk in Las Vegas with my husband, visit a wedding chapel and make a big scene
fly in a helicopter
learn how to scuba dive
float in the Dead Sea
snorkel on the Great Barrier Reef
learn colligraphy
go vegetarian
be completely debt free with the exception of our home
learn how to use power tools and then build something
actually print all my digital pictures and scrapbook them
meet a sitting president
read the entire Bible
get a job when the kids go to school with some sort of global health or global missions organization
become a CASA advocate for children
go on a series of mission trips to minister to missionaries to help them ward off burnout
learn how to play Tiny Dancer and Piano Man on the piano
learn how to play a few tunes on the guitar so I can have a common interest with my hubby
read Anna Karinina
convert all of the home movies from my childhood to digital
study yoga and learn to meditate
go to Disney Land
sleep under the stars with nothing but a sleeping bag
ride in a hot air balloon
complete Christine's sexperiment sex challenge
go to the Smithsonian
complete a triathalon
go to intergenerational church camp with my children
own a vacation home that we can share with our friends and family
eat at In And Out Burger
have a living room with enough seating so that my entire family can sit down all at one time
sing a song at karaoke
get a masters degree
have an actual defined muscle somewhere (anywhere!) on my body
publish something where my name with be in print
go on a safari
get naked under a waterfall
join a book club
learn to accept compliments gracefully
learn to make jelly and how to can vegetables
do 5 pullups in a row
see a play on Broadway in NYC
learn how to take really good pictures
be a more attentive wife
learn how to fold fancy napkins
create a grant to help other families afford adoption
walk on the Great Wall of China
see U2 in concert
have a garage that I can park a car in
tithe a full 10%
learn how to correctly fill in a US map with all those darn tiny New England states
find a form of seafood that I can stomach
see the Everglades
eat brunch at Brennan's in New Orleans
hug a chimpanzee
own a pair of really awesome red high heels
go to a taping of a sitcom
read something I've written in front of an audience
learn a card trick
learn a good joke that I can tell in public
ride on a train that has sleeping quarters and a dinner car
climb a volcano
go to the summer Olympics
go to a wine tasting and stomp on grapes like the scene from I Love Lucy
become a regular blood donor
make a time capsule and bury it
go to a New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square

Phil

2011-12-27T10:29:00.000-05:00

Santa must have thought that the Terry kids were extra good this year because he took their request of getting a guinea pig seriously. Christmas morning they bounded down the steps to find this:

They got a guinea pig. It was as if all of their dreams came true. Our newest little family member's name is Phil. Miles calls him "refill". I'm pretty sure he can't hear the difference in the two words! Phil is a rescue-rescue pet. He was originally bought at a pet store and then returned. Then a great little couple rescued him from the returned pet center. But they were both youth ministers and didn't have enough time to give Phil all the attention that he deserved. So Santa got Phil from them and dropped him off at our house. You can tell that Phil was taken great care of. He's enormous and is sweet as candy. We are thankful that his other homes loved him well because he is making the perfect pet for our children.

My husband says that the only thing that could have made Phil any better is if his name was Steve. For some crazy reason, Kamron has always wanted a pet named Steve. But Phil is pretty dang close. In fact, I'm glad he came with such a cute little name! Phil Terry. Kinda has a certain ring to it. Kamron has given him the middle name of McCrakin but we won't explain that one to the children. Phil McCrackin. Get it. Yeah- that's how my husband's brain works. I'm so proud.

For the last 2 days, this has been the scene. Sadie has been a Phil hog.

She has carried him around in a little blanket for hours and hours on end. It's kind of a Fern and Wilbur relationship. She says they are BFFs. Sometimes she lets her brothers have a turn. Noah just rubs him and rubs him. It blows my mind how these wild and crazy boys become so tender around Phil.

If there is any evidence of how far Miles has come and what a testament to how intensive therapy can actually work- here it is:

A year ago, an animal in our house would have sent Miles off the deep end. Holding one would have been out of the question. It would have meant an emergency session with his therapist and me calling and begging for sedatives for both of us. Now look at him. Loving and enjoying an animal with no anxiety and experiencing a meaningful connection with it! It's a Christmas miracle. (Actually, it is not a miracle. It is the result of almost two years of hard hard hard work, but you get the point. It's a BIG deal!)

And truly- how could you resist this adorable little face and darling cowlick? Ahhh, we can't. We are madly in love.

We are rocking Christmas!

2011-12-25T08:12:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas! Love Megan, Kamron, Sadie, Noah, and Miles

I was almost funny

2011-12-23T10:03:00.000-05:00

I finally decided last night that I should start to wrap some presents. Hubby was sitting in the living room chair talking on the phone. I was wrapping my nephew's How Do Dinosaur's Laugh Out Loud book. Do you know this series? We love 'em. Anyway, it is a lift the flap book where they make jokes and you lift the flap to see the punchline. They were all very corny and dinosaur-y. At that moment, I had a stroke of genius. I came up with the most wonderful dinosaur joke known to man.

I looked at Kamron who was wrapping up his phone conversation. The second he said "bye", I decided to deliver it. Now, keep in mind, I am not very funny and I am a HORRIBLE joke teller. So I had a little nervous thing going on trying to deliver this joke to make sure it was as funny as it was in my head. And in my head it was HI-larious.

I opened my mouth to speak and here's what came out, "Hey, Kamron. What do you call it when a dinosaur has trouble ummmm "performing"............ EREPTILE disfunction!  I died laughing.

Seriously, y'all. I thought at that moment that I was the most brilliant comic who had ever lived. I saw this joke as being my big break. First it would turn into something of a phenomenon, like the Bloggess' Beyonce the Chicken. Then Ellen DeGeneres would catch wind of me and invite me to be on her show.   Then Leno and before you know it, everyone would know that Megan Terry had now coined the term ereptile dysfunction and I would be known as the queen of dinosaur sex jokes.

And then it happened.... Kamron said, "I'll bet if you google that, some really funny comedy bits would come up." WHAT!?!?! How could there be comedy bits about it? I just made it up. Me and all my comedic genius. Surely, no one else could have come up with something so freaking hilarious.

I tiptoed to the computer and typed in ereptile dysfunction. Google changed my search to erectile.  I took that as a good sign! I mean, if google didn't recognize ereptile dysfunction than I MUST have made it up. But then I saw it. A single line from Urban Dictionary that says, "Ereptile Dysfunction- dinosaur impotence". My heart just sank. No Ellen Show. No world wide fame on Leno.  No "Megan Terry, dinosaur sexologist" on my business cards. Dammit. In fact, I'm so late to the dinosaur impotence party, that there are already mugs and t-shirts and cartoons with the EREPTILE DYSFUNCTION slogan on them. Grrrrrr.

Oh well. It was fun to think that for once in my life I'd been clever, even it was just for a fleeting moment. :-)

A Very Country Christmas

2011-12-21T12:23:00.003-05:00

God must have been feeling really spunky on the day that he created my dad. He's a very complicated yet simple kind of man. He's the kind of guy that could go missing in the woods and survive there communing with wolves and living off of berries for about 20 years. I think that Hank Williams' "Country Boy Can Survive" was written about my dad.

My kids adore him. Papaw Johnny is one of their favorite people and his farm is their very favorite place in the world. But y'all, my dad was lacking the Christmas spirit. Since he and my mom divorced over 10 years ago, he's never had a Christmas tree. We set out to remedy that on what we are dubbing...

Team Real Tree. And yes, that's my dad with ketchup all over his shirt.

It's one of the thousands of reasons that I love him. How cute is he?

We took off hiking through the woods in search of the perfect tree...

Sadie fell in love with this little twig of a tree sprouting up out of the ground and had to have it for her room.

We kept looking and looking for the perfect tree for my dad and his simply country boy taste. At last, one little Charlie Brown like tree called to us from the woods. It was bare on one side and spindly on the bottom. It was perfect. Papaw Johnny took the saw and performed a little tree removal surgery.

I love how he obliges when I say ,"Look up here and smile!" while he's hard at work. Then it was time to haul the tree and the tired little one back to the house.

We got that tree back to the house and stuck it in a five gallon bucket full of rocks as a tree holder. We are nothing if not classy people. That is, if classy equals resourceful. A few strings of lights and some discount ornaments later, and we brought that little tree to life and brought the Christmas spirit to Papaw Johnny's house.

Pure perfection. Sometimes it's the little things that make Christmas brilliant and meaningful.

6, 7, and 8

2011-12-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

Christmas Kindness is in full swing. I think we've hit our stride and the kids are eager to find out what projects we are doing when they wake up in the morning. Every time I post about this, I feel like I need to say that I'm not writing about these things to be "braggy". That is the last thing that I want to do. I just know that there are other families doing similar things and it's great to share ideas on how we can get our kids involved in serving. I first saw the idea about kids doing random acts of kindness on another blog and the whole thing spiraled from there- so the Internet can be a great tool for things like this! It's been so good for our children (and me!) to do this year after year. After all- if we don't teach them, how will they know?

Day 6: On the sixth day we went to one of our local nursing homes and helped to pass out ice cream sandwiches to the residents there. I don't know what it is, but people who don't always get to see children around, get super excited about having little ones in their presence. Going to the nursing home is always one of my favorite things that we do because it reminds me that it doesn't cost a thing to brighten someone's day. More than anything, people just want to be loved on and to feel like they matter. Noah was our hugger. Miles was the smiler and Sadie was the server. I love how they each develop their own ways to give back that perfectly match their own little personalities.

Day 7: The seventh day brought a trip to the animal shelter. This is always the kids favorite thing to do. We went through our cabinets and gathered up supplies that they needed (old towels, blankets, cleaning products) and delivered them. The littles LOVE to play with animals. They could do this every single day if I'd let them. Sadie and Noah want to be a vets or farmers when they grow up so this is the perfect project for them.

Sadie and her BFF petting on this little dog with a disfigured leg. They were madly in love.

Day 8: The hope is that if we just show them the way enough, our children will figure out how to be loving and giving on their own. This morning I walked into the kitchen to this:

Someone took it upon herself to wash the dishes WITHOUT being asked! Hallelujah! Just when I think that 8 is the new 13, she goes and does something like this to surprise me. She said that today's Christmas kindness was for me. *sigh* I'm not a good receiver (something I'm working on) so I deemed that we still had some Christmas kindness to share for the day.

Because today is low key and we don't plan on leaving the house, I let the kids pick a charity to donate to. They love to look over my shoulder when I read other blogs and they love looking at pictures of other people's children. They especially love looking at pictures of the Blocks (links to the recent post about the needs at the orphanage) so we chose to make a small contribution to the orphanage that they work with in Guatemala. They are at capacity but won't turn children away. They need more space to keep serving the children that show up on their doorstep. They are doing amazing work. If you want to help them or learn more about their ministry, you can visit The Eagle's Nest website.

**If you are not a friend of Millions of Miles on Facebook, I'd recommend liking the page. On one of the upcoming days of Christmas Kindness I will be giving away a copy of Kisses From Katie to one of our FB friends. I LOVE being kind to you :-)

Do you have room?

2011-12-20T08:52:00.000-05:00

Originally posted 12/6/2010

I put up my nativity set that I got in Congo last night. My children got out their nativity set to play with. Noah took all of the nativity people and tried to fit them on to his aircraft carrier toy. He said he was playing "Noah's Ark." He told me that all of the people wouldn't fit on the boat. I noticed that the one he left off the boat was the baby Jesus. There just wasn't room for him.

Just like the first Christmas. No one could make room for Jesus and he was born in a barn. The Christ child! There was no room for the Messiah! I can hardly bear the thought of my king being born in a barn and put inside a feeding trough. How easy is it for us to say that without a doubt we would have taken in the pregnant Mary? But would you really?

"Wait!" I'd like to think I would scream, "I have room! Come and let Jesus be born here!" But if Mary and Joseph had taken me up on that offer, would I have really done it? Or would I have said, "Well... actually, it's kinda cramped in here. And we have our routine and you might get in the way of that a little. Oh, and by the way- we all snore. You know, come to think of it, we're really pretty comfortable here just as we are. Are you sure you want to stay here? We don't have a lot of money and our TV is very small. If you went down the street, they'd probably let you stay there and their house is way bigger and they have a lot of money. You might really be more comfortable somewhere else. I'll tell you what- here. Here's a few dollars. Good luck. I really do think someone else could accomodate you better. And if they can't, well... I'm just sorry. It's just not a good time for me. You understand, right?"

Meanwhile, Jesus gets born in a barn...

And meanwhile, millions of children all over the world go without families because we tell ourselves the very same excuses. What are we doing about that? What are YOU doing about that? Are you telling yourself that it is someone else's problem? Are you saying that surely someone out there will take in these children who has a bigger house, more money, and more time? What if they don't? Excuses. We are full of them. Myself included. A 5 and a 6 year old set of sisters needing a family have been on my mind lately. I've stared at their pictures almost every morning for nearly a month. I can't shake them. I found myself praying for them by name at the alter yesterday. I heard myself saying, "God, please soften the heart of a family who would take these two precious girls in. I'd sure love to have them as my daughters, but God, I'm just not sure that person is supposed to me right now because we're just out of room and not ready to start that now." If God would have talked to me right then, he would have probably said, "Meg- those are all great excuses, but did you ever stop to think that you're heart is the one I'm softening?" How many times do we throw our excuses around? All the while, they wait...

Josie

Amya

Isaac

They wait all alone. Hungry. Lonely. Scared. Hurting. They wait because we think we don't have enough room. Or the nicest house. Or have enough money to complete the process. Or, or, or...

So before you and I judge the innkeeper, are we making room in the inn? I know that not everyone is supposed to or needs to adopt. But are you supporting an adoptive family who is making room? Are you sponsoring a child? Or are you making excuses? My prayer this Christmas season, is that as I reflect on the birth of Christ, I look around my inn and see the things that I have made room for. I pray that the "things" that I have made room for will lose their value. I pray that in letting those things go, I will realize just how much "room" I have, not only in my home, but in my heart.

...Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,

I was homeless and you gave me a room,

I was shivering and you gave me clothes,

I was sick and you stopped to visit,

I was in prison and you came to me.'

"Then they are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then HE will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.' -Matthew 25:33-40 The Message Bible

Oh, Monday

2011-12-19T11:05:00.001-05:00

A little rundown of all the happenings in our home over the last few days...

* One of the boys had a weird accident yesterday. I won't tell you which one it is, because they may be embarrassed when they are adults and realize that their mom broadcast this all over the Internet. ~~It was Miles.~~ I was in the bathroom drying my hair and Miles was sitting on the toilet. All of a sudden he starts shrieking, "MY EYE! MY EYE!" I panicked since his eyelids are still full of stitches from surgery last week so I ran over to check and see if he'd popped any stitches. When I got to him, he had pee dripping down his forehead running in a stream down to his eyes. The boy had peed on his own face. From a sitting position. I do not know how this happened, but it was gross. At times like these he is my husband's son and I lay no claim to him :-)

* Noah's school play was magnificent. There were about 40 kids all singing off key and performing their little hearts out. Noah's only line of "V is for virgin" was a huge hit and he delivered it like a champ. Throughout all of these weeks of virgin talk, he has surprisingly never asked what a virgin is. I kept trying to decide what I would say if that happened and couldn't come up with anything good. I was tossing around the idea of explaining olive oil creation tactics or non-alcoholic beverages. Why don't they put these things in the parenting manuals?

* I had a little mom melt down yesterday. We had a couple of free hours yesterday afternoon and I thought that it would be the perfect window of time to make some Christmas cutout cookies. I suggested it to the kids who all enthusiastically said, "WooHoo! We want to make cookies. You are the best mom ever for coming up with such awesome things for us to do!" Not really, but they did want to make cookies. So I spent a ton of time mixing up the dough and scrubbing all the remnants of playdough off of the cookie cutters. I put out what seemed like a half a bag of flour all over the kitchen table and called in the troops. Noah immediately picked up a container of sprinkles and in his haste to figure out how to get the top off, dumped the entire thing on the floor. Green sprinkles balls bouncing and rolling all over the floor. I smiled and shrugged that one off and we started rolling out the dough. We have two rolling pins and three kids. You do the math. It quickly spiraled out of control with one constantly feeling left out because they didn't have a rolling pin.

I finally rolled out the dough and handed over the cutters. They each picked up a cookie cutter, cut out one cookie and decided that they no longer wanted to make cookies and that they wanted to go play instead. They all ran away from the table and there I stood with smoke coming out of my ears. I went ballistic. I *may* have even immaturely told my children that I would never ever ever plan anything fun for them to do ever again in their whole lives and they would grow up to be old people who never got to do anything fun. I *may* have started banging dishes around to wake up my napping husband so that I was not alone in my anger. Only he didn't take the dishes slamming seriously and stayed in bed. Probably a smart move on his part. I just loooooove my passive aggressiveness. I put a few crappy looking cookies on the cookie sheet and put them in the oven with no sprinkles or chocolate chip eyeballs and no Christmas joy. I scooped up the rest of the dough and slammed it into a bowl and jammed it in the refrigerator. I wiped up flour until I thought that I'd have enough flour paste to make a salt dough map of the whole world in correct proportions. I swept up green sprinkle balls for what I was sure was at least 5 hours. I muttered under my breath about ungrateful kids and other such nonsense.

When those sad looking little cookies came out of the oven everyone suddenly became interested. I went all Little Red Hen on their a$$es and didn't let them have any. (I finally caved at bedtime and shared my cookies) Dude. Sometimes trying to be a good mom just does NOT pay off. It just proves my theory that no good can come from trying to be "that" mom who bakes beautifully decorated cookies with her children. That mom sucks. I digress.

* How do you like our new look? Lauren at LC Designs redid my blog for me. She was awesome to work with and I'm a little bit in love with the new design. Also- we now have a different comment form if you want to leave comments. It will make it easier for me to reply to comments, etc. Did you know that comments make bloggers just stupid happy? They do. Just sayin'.

* My mom and Sadie and I went to see the Nutcracker on Saturday night. It was my first time to see the ballet as an adult and Sadie's first time ever. It was pure magic! I'm hoping that we can make this a new Christmas tradition.

* I told my husband that all I want for Christmas is for him to clean out my kitchen cabinets so that an avalanche does not occur every time one of the doors is opened. For mother's day, I got new pots and pans (because nothing says "We love you, mom" like further enslavement to the kitchen!) and instead of passing on the old pans, there are now two sets shoved into a cabinet built for one. I just can't bring myself to tackle it which is evidenced by the fact that my cabinets look like this:

*Note: no cookware was harmed in the making of this photo.

My aunts probably just looked at this and said, "Oh my. She's turned into her granny!"

* My children are upstairs playing school right now. I can hear Sadie telling her "students" that they will get F's if they are not quiet and the boys screaming out "Yes ma'am! We'll be good!" It is quickly making me forget the pee on the face and the cookie making incident yesterday. Thank God. They may actually make it til Christmas after all.

Christmas Breakfast Casserole

2011-12-17T15:58:00.002-05:00

On the sixth day of Christmas Kindness we made dinner to deliver to our great friends who have been going through a lot over the last 6 months and (including having a pace maker put in this week). Having meals delivered to me is one of my love languages. I know when things are hectic and people are ill, the last thing you want to do is grocery shop and prepare a meal. Many, many times I've had my socks blessed off with a crock pot full of yumminess or a casserole of some sort while we're going through a tough time.

My kids are usually great little helpers (they help make messes, help spill things, etc.) in the kitchen. But, in the spirit of Christmas Kindness, they jumped in and helped me make dinner to bless our friends with. I decided to make one of my favorite casseroles. It is one that I usually only make on Christmas morning. Thus, we've dubbed it Christmas Breakfast Casserole.

Christmas Breakfast Casserole. A food photographer I am not, but you get the point :-)

Over the years, I've tweaked the recipe here and there until it is now something that we all love and look forward to on Christmas morning. My favorite thing about it is that I can make it ahead on Christmas Eve and pop it in the oven to bake on Christmas morning. I don't know about you, but I have enough going on that morning, that I don't have time to make a hot breakfast from scratch. This recipe is the best of both worlds!

Megan's Christmas Breakfast Casserole:

4 eggs

6 slices of bread (I think that cheap, thin sandwich bread works best)

1 3/4 cups of milk

1 pound of sausage (browned and crumbled)

8 oz. shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp black pepper

*optional- add bell peppers and onions to taste

Directions:

1. Mix eggs, sausage, cheese, salt and pepper together in a medium sized bowl.

2. Cut all the bread into small cubes.

3. Add the bread cubes to the egg mixture and stir until all the bread is evenly coated.

4. Pour into a greased 9x13 pan

5. Cover and put in the refrigerator overnight *I have cooked it right away after mixing and it doesn't set up as well. I would chill it for as long as you can even if you can't refrigerate overnight)

6. Bake covered for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. Uncover and bake for an additional 20 minutes until cheese is brown and bubbly.

When I make this, I almost always pair it with hashbrowns casserole. My favorite hashbrown casserole recipe is a knockoff of a Cracker Barrel recipe that is delish. You can find it HERE.

Enjoy!

My boys tearing it up in the kitchen.

Lending Your Voice: A Chat with Willie Garson

2011-12-16T09:40:00.005-05:00

National adoption month came and went. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I think that there are so many children who need to find families and so we should be talking about it and "promoting" adoption. I also think that most posts that I saw about adoption month were a little Rah Rah without the balance of saying that adoption is tough. It is traumatic and painful. So let's just agree that it is all of those things- hard and wonderful, challenging and worthwhile, difficult and amazing. As an adoptive parent who has been through the hard (and still goes through the hard) I can still say without a doubt that adopting our son is the most amazing thing that has every happened to our family. I'd take all the pain and the transition and the worry and the therapy again anyday because for us the benefits and the love outweighed all the other things and it made our family stronger.

I think that in the world of celebrity adoption, especially, it's difficult to get the full story. We see celebrities adopt and there is never mention of the plight of orphans or the pain that children go through to become adopted. The voices of those families get reduced down to photo ops and paint an unrealistic picture of adoption. That's why I'm glad that there are celebrities out there, like Willie Garson, who are not only painting realistic pictures, but who are lending their voice to advocate for children who desperately need families.

Willie Garson

You may know Willie from his role of Mozzie in the current hit show White Collar. If you go a little farther back, you may recognize (and LOVE) him from role in Sex In The City where he played Carrie's male BFF, Standford Blatch. Or you may know him from the other billion roles he's had on television and film over the years. But you may not know that his favorite role he's ever played in his life is Dad. Willie adopted his son, Nathen, from the LA county foster care system in 2010. Nathen was 8 at the time and the two had an instant connection. What I love most about Willie is that he recognizes that adoption is an emotional two way street but stands firm on the fact that adopting a child and creating a family where there once was none, has been the most rewarding thing that he could ever do with his life.

He's now lending his voice, in conjunction with the National Adoption Day Coalition, to help advocate for children in foster care. I had the wonderful opportunity to interview Willie Garson to help him spread his message that every child deserves to have a loving and stable home.

The Interview:

What circumstances led you to decide that adopton was the right choice for you?
Willie: I was in a relationship for a long time, and she didn’t want to have kids, which is fine, that’s people’s choice. After that relationship ended I realized, ‘What am I waiting for? I don’t care if I ever get married, but I know I want a kid.’

The Alliance for Children’s Rights, a kids’ advocacy group in L.A. and member of the National Adoption Day Coalition, is one of my charities. So, when I decided to adopt I worked with the Alliance for Children’s Rights and the Westside Children’s Center, who guided me through the adoption process.

Finish this statement, "I chose to adopt from foster care because…"

Willie: I knew a baby wasn’t right for my lifestyle; I’m an actor, we’re gypsies. Many children in the foster care system are older, and through no fault of their own have a harder time finding a permanent family. By adopting a child from foster care, you can make such an impact on that child’s life. I can see in my son Nathen’s eyes that it means something different when he calls me ‘dad.’

What was the hardest part in transitioning Nathen into your family? How did you work to overcome those obstacles and help him understand permanency after being in the system?

Willie: The hardest things for us were all emotional; Nathen knows his family, he knows his former foster homes, he knew kids at his old school, and on and on. While logistically it was easier as he knew what he liked to eat, washed himself, etc., there were times when I knew he didn’t believe this was permanent. We just dealt with it every day, with a LOT of promises KEPT, never broken...but that's good advice for any parent.

What do you think are the biggest myths surrounding children in foster care and how to you work to dispel them.

Willie:
Myth: Only married couples can adopt.

Fact: I am a single working actor, and a loving father trying to be a good role model for Nathen. With my paternal clock ‘ticking’, so to speak, I reached a point in my life where I realized that having a child was something I didn’t want to postpone until I was married.

Myth: Children in foster care have too much ‘baggage.’

Fact: Most children in foster care have been through something negative or traumatic in their early lives, but they are not ‘damaged goods,’ they are children. These children may have never experienced a loving, stable home. Nathen for instance, was withdrawn and had some behavioral issues, but in less than a year in a nurturing and stable home with me he has blossomed into an outgoing and stellar student. He is very social and enjoys his time playing baseball, learning karate, and playing music with me. Nathen and I were meant to be a family.

What has been the most unexpected reward of adopting out of foster care. Was it different than you expected?

Willie: There are countless unexpected rewards, but that's true of every parent. Just to see Nathen get more secure and confident is reward enough, but we are partners in this adventure, we take care of each other.

What was the process like to make Nathen your son? Was he legally available for adoption when you met or did you foster first and then make the decision to adopt? How was the process emotionally for you?

Willie: I met Nathen at an L.A. adoption fair in Oct. 2008. Instantly I knew he was, ‘my kid.’ Nathen was legally available for adoption. From the beginning to end, it took only 20 months for us to finalize his adoption.

There was definitely an emotional roller coaster, but the strength actually came from Nathen himself, as I would imagine it comes from every kid...they adapt more easily than we do.

No matter their age, every child needs a loving home.

What do you think are the best ways for people who maybe aren't interested in being foster parents or adopting from foster care, to still reach out to children in the system?

Willie: Become an adoption advocate and help raise awareness of the 107,000 children in foster care waiting for their forever families. There are a number of ways to get involved by contacting organizations such as CASA, or you can get involved, like I did, by supporting some of the National Adoption Day coalition members who are working to find homes for children in foster care every day.

Thank you so much to Willie Garson, for lending his voice and his platform to do so much for the children in foster care and for taking the time to answer my questions (and for his honesty about the tough parts as well as the unbelievable blessings!). For more information of the National Adoption Day coalition (which works to advocate and find families for foster children) please visit their website.

Days 3 and 4

2011-12-15T21:59:00.001-05:00

We are continuing to work our way through our 12 days of Christmas Kindness projects. Every year, I think that it takes us a few days to hit our stride- for the kids to get out of "me" mode and get into servant mode. I'd like to be able to say that they are servants everyday. Heck, I'd like to say that I'm a servant everyday, but way too many times I make it all about me. Or they make it about themselves. It's hard not to.

The truth is, servant hood doesn't come naturally.  It seems like there is never enough time, or enough money or enough motivation to always be living a life of servitude. In all these years, I've realized that if we don't make it a priority, it won't happen.

Day 3 was one of those days that we didn't make it much of a priority. With pneumonia in the house, we've all been awake a lot at night so on day 3 we laid around. (excuses, excuses) We talked about doing our project for the day and it just seemed like we couldn't get it going. By bedtime, we still hadn't done our good deed for the day and had to resort to our trusty freerice.com to get in some giving. If you've never played on freerice.com, I'll give you a little rundown. You answer trivia questions and for every question that you get right, the United Nations World Food Program donates 10 grains of rice to hungry people. 10 grains doesn't sound like a lot. But if you play for a while, those grains add up.

Sadie and Noah (well, mostly Sadie because Noah kept guessing the wrong answers!) played for a long time and gathered up several hundred grains or rice to donate. We talked about how when one of us plays and gets a few hundred and someone else plays and gets a few hundred and then another plays and gets a few hundred, how we can ALL work together to make a difference. These little side lessons are one of my favorite bi-products of doing these projects. Somehow we saved day 3 by the skin of our teeth.

Today was day 4. My sweet friend, Elizabeth, is one of the most awesome people I know at seeing a specific need and finding a way to fill it. She knew a family in our community with three kids and a single mom who needed some help making Christmas and meeting some basic needs happen.    Elizabeth put the call out for help for this family on Facebook. It was the first thing that I saw when I woke up and I knew that this need had our name all over it.

The family needed basics like coats and toothbrushes and soap. As a mom with three kids myself, I can't imagine sending my child out to the bus in the morning without a warm winter coat. I take for granted that my grandmother buys my kids new coats for their birthdays every fall. After having traveled to Africa and seeing the screaming need there, it's so easy to forget that sometimes those basic needs exist in our own communities. I felt so much in common with this mom that I'd never met because we both have three children (two of whom are the same age as my kids). I think that's one of the best parts of being a mom- you can instantly connect with other moms. I loved this woman for the strength it must take to be a single mom and for the lack of credit and appreciation she probably gets for juggling a hundred balls in the air at one time. Single moms are heros in my book.

The kids and I went and picked out some new coats, soaps, toothbrushes and a few things that were just for fun for this family that looked a whole lot like ours. We're all in this together. We're all on the same journey.  We are all one.

Buying an itty bitty baby girl outfit made my whole Christmas!
We are boy heavy in our family and shopping for baby girls is SOOOOO fun!

Noah picked out the coat for the boy that was the same age as him.

Dropping the gifts off to our friend Elizabeth to take to the family.
The kidlets must have wordlessly conspired to make these weird faces.

My Winter Top 10

2011-12-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

I think that I am one of those people who needs one of those light boxes during the winter months. I'm an outside girl and I can get down and out quickly with the prospect of the 4 months of cold we get here in the Bluegrass State. So today I'm focusing on the things that I LOVE about winter to ward off those winter blues:

1. There is NO need to shave.  When no desire to shave meets no need to shave, this girl is HAPPY (and hairy on my legs like no one's business).

2.  Keebler Almond Crescents. Do you eat these? Oh Mah Word. They are da bomb and they only are in stores from Thanksgiving til Christmas.  If your name is Megan Terry you have strategically learned to go and clean out the store the day after Christmas.

3. Toboggans. Nothing cures a bad hair day like a cute toboggan. Same with a scarf. Nothing disguises turkey neck and neck fat like a good scarf.

4. Apple Cider and Cinnamon scented candles. It's like a little vacation for your nose.

5. Bralessness. When it's freezing outside and I need to run out of the house to get the kids off the bus or run to the quickie mart, I can just throw my puffy winter coat on and no one can tell that I'm not wearing a bra underneath.  Score!

6. Unexpected snow days. Here, we get out of school if someone spits and it makes a slick spot on the roads. Which means that we get to sleep in but can still get out and do fun things.

7. Hot chocolate with marshmallows. Lately, I've been putting one of those giant campfire marshmallows on top of the hot chocolate and then nuking it so that it makes marshmallow goo in the top of the mug. We are all in love.

8. Craigslist. Have y'all noticed how Craigslist explodes this time of the year? People are purging and trying to make a little bit of money to buy new junk and I've scored some crazy deals on Craigslist this winter. It's a great place to pick up things that Santa's elves can't figure out how to make. Like a new to me stove. I doubt Santa could fit that in his sleigh.

9. Butter.  Everything that one wants to make at this time of the year requires butter. As someone who usually restricts the purchasing of real butter, I love splurging in the winter for some good salted butter. It's the little things in life.

10. Christmas music, Christmas lights, Christmas trees, Christmas plays, Christmas music and the four main food groups at Christmas: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

What's on your list?