M!nd @nd 3mot!on

Like a Butterfly

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 12:47:00 +0000

We were all once a cocoon and in every one of us lies a beautiful creature... Spread your wings and FLY...

I Almost Forgot

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 01:21:00 +0000

Dumbfounded, I was about to bite my lips but my jaw dropped. If there's someone willing to get in, certainly, it's not me. They didn't pin me down but rather put me there where my right to decline was overlooked. An excuse is a "no" in disguise so I tried to make an acceptable one. But before I could unlatch my lips to utter my sweet escape, all needed materials were laid in front of me. "Get ready" , my teacher said.

I could draw shapes and lines but with complete honesty I never thought of it as a legitimacy for competition. The class has limited options or rather no options at all to pick for the representative. On my fifth grade in school, all I wanted was to join a Science quiz bee, not an on-the-spot poster making contest. So I asked myself, "Why me? Any other living organism?"

The truth is I didn't feel bad, I felt shy. I entered the room with shambled feet. A lone empty chair was waiting for me. With my white cartolina (white thick paper for sketching) laid flat on the spatial table, the competition began. Just in time my mind went blank. If I got nothing to start, what more do I have to win?

I harrased my imagination, that's the term you use if you force anything that is not ready. The theme for the poster making contest was about garbage segregation and I was afraid that by the time it ends, the austerity of my piece would make it fit for a trash. Well, then, I should know it's non-biodgradable.

If it's about garbage segregation then I thought maybe I could start with something clean and cozy. Trash cans with labels, people wearing a kind of smile that I don't. With pencil and colors, my left hand began to work.

The awarding came like a bad weather - you know it's coming but there's no way to stop it. To lose was long since anticipated. It was uncomfortable not because I had hope to win but because the awarding was just an explicit way of letting others know how hapless I am by not mentioning my name.

The host began to call names...

Drum rolls...

Okay, as if I have exciting next to say. Of course, I didn't get the 1st place. But with my eyes popped out, I got the 2nd place. Initially, I took it as a joke but when they asked me to be on stage, it was then that I realized they were serious. My prize? An Avon bag filled with art materials, huge enough to carry me home. I just couldn't believe it...No, not the huge bag, I mean the 2nd place. You might think it's more exciting to have an iPad as the prize, but as a child who appreciate little things it felt like I won a lottery. Anyways, I was just a fifth grader by that year 1995 and to wish for a gadget which was not yet invented is too ambitious, I went home jubilant.

Pulling my self from the past, it's been so long since I last slumped on the floor and draw with my pencils. My hand is even getting stiff when I do the conventional way of handwriting. And I strongly believe that computer keyboards should be held liable for that.

My hand at work

When life changes its course, so do your priorities. From my passion that lost its fiery, I had constantly admired people having the skills that I don't. And from my own frustrations, I turned out to be a proud fan. As for now, I'm happy seeing my siblings nurture their gifts. Here is one of my brother's masterpiece that keeps my eyes on it. Created through charcoal pencil.

He's into details...

I hope I had developed this much skill...

It was one of the chosen few posted by their professors.

I'm no longer the kid who joins poster making contest, no longer the one who usually sharpens her pencil. But art will always be a part of me. I will always admire creative minds and skilled hands.

With so much comparison to my brother's work, I'm just like that dog on my sketch - failed to catch. Haha. But I knew that no matter how you turn your back from some things, they will always be part of you.

Well, I guess...

There are things that you almost forgot but you will never forget.

A Short Message

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 03:40:00 +0000

It was four days ago when I received an email from other part of the world. Though it was a short message, it turned out to be compelling. It made me realized how long I've been far away from home (blogosphere) and reminded me of one thing I love.

A message from a co-blogger...I've been rocking myself to get back, I even disabled one of my online pages so I could pour more time in blogosphere but then spent most of it thinking where would I start.

Oh well, now I just started. :)

Replied. If only I could send hugs as an attachment.

I'm back to the place of diamonds.

At 60

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:49:00 +0000

Not knowing where to find it, I approached my father.
“Pa, have you seen the flashlight?” He gave me a blank stare which means I had to repeat my words.
“Pa, the flashlight, have you seen it?” I rephrased.
“You’re looking for the plies?” He responded.
“No Pa, flashlight, I’m looking for the flashlight. You know the one you use when it’s dark?" Then I had to act with my hands as if I’m holding one.
“What are you looking for?” He asked with creased eyebrows. I almost give up.
“F-L-A-S-H-LIGHT Pa,” I spelled, teary eyed.
With the newspaper on the chair, I picked it up, rolled it like a cone and from the smaller hole I bellowed.

Seeing my full effort, father laughed at me and the most appropriate thing I could do is to laugh with him. By then I got the answer needed. He just turned 60, the age for a privilege of 20% discounts as a senior citizen and 50% hearing deterioration. These are the days when megaphone becomes a necessity.

I’ve grown up with a father who gives dedication to his job. For so many years of working, I once asked “Pa, how many times have you been late?”
“Once” He answered. It amazed me. It’s amazing for someone who’s always late in school.
“Aren’t you tired of what you’re doing? I mean, doing the same thing over and over?”
“Sometimes, but that’s how I could make a living, I’ve known the ins and outs so well and it’s much harder going back to zero.” That explained well. So I guess nothing could be tiring for something you love.

As a child, I always look forward for Saturday, the payday when father is expected to bring bags of groceries. Dangling sound from the key chain on his bag would be our cue. “Papa’s here!” good news cascaded. All of us would rummage through those groceries and ask for a penny to buy candies but there’s one condition, someone has to prepare him a cup of coffee.

If my mother is a ferocious tiger, my father is a meek sheep. That disqualified him to be the disciplinarian. He’s the most patient person I’ve ever known. A father who went through a lot of disappointments and burdens but never held grudges. You could easily tickle his bone, an incurable giggler. He loves chocolates and my Aunties would tell us how he would fight over a piece of Chocnut when he was a kid. He hates Philippine government as much as local movies. He loves music but rarely sings. He hardly remembers all our birthdays so he keeps a record of it on a piece of paper. Simplicity is his middle name.

So time came when we no longer hear the key chain’s dangling sound. Father won’t be late again, at 60, he went through retirement. He had left the job he loved. I felt his fear, not about having no regular compensation but about doing nothing. He’s not used of being idle for a long period of time. It’s like work-home-work-home and then suddenly he had to adjust to home-home-home-home. It’s not going to be that easy. I would remember those few nights when he’s asleep and I would tiptoe downstairs handling ensaymada (a sweet bread with butter and cheese). Carefully, I would unzip his bag and slip the bread into it. The next day he would ask who put it in his bag and I’ll just prompt the question “How does it taste Pa?” Then he knew it’s me. Sometimes it could be a piece of apple. But now, that bag is just hanging over the door knob and I hoped I could have slipped a lot inside prior to his retirement. Slip things more surprising than ensaymada or a piece of apple, like a crawling crab or a turtle maybe.

He began staying at home, became abreast of the latest shows on TV, enjoyed playing with his grandchildren and spent more time chatting with neighbors. One afternoon he called my name and handed a familiar silk cloth. He didn’t say a word. When I sprawled with my two hands I took aback, father stitched my bathrobe which was torn below the armpit. I stood still asking my self “How many fathers on earth would be willing to stitch his daughter’s bathrobe?” So I guess I’ll be the first one to make statistics for that. I don’t have the figures yet but my father is counted.

So we had plans for him, we can’t let him sit there because we know that’s not him. Treating him like a King is something that won’t make him happy, just a cup of coffee will do. The plans went through, father is now busy. He thinks, he moves, he earns. Doing it lightly and we’re always here keeping track and backing up.

As I wrote this post I had to leave my computer for a while. I stood, passed to my father’s bed and stared to his face with traces of wrinkles where his smiles usually rest. I’d like to hug him but I’m afraid that will wake him up. Just like other fathers, he has shortcomings but those are not enough for me to stop adoring him. So all of us will always have a new chapter in our lives. The age 60 is good one because challenges and blessings never stopped from old age.

In his deep slumber, he has no idea I was writing about him. But I’m not sure if he has an idea how much I love him. If given a time I utter and let him hear those words, I would be more than willing to spell it...a million times…

Regards to your father. :)

Deranged

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Does the heart think to understand the mind? Does the mind feel to empathize with the heart? Or will they go against each other 'till only one overrules?

When the mind gives up, the heart still goes on.
It's over. After all the was said and done, the mind finally curtailed all positive reasons for the heart. But the heart knows no reason, it may know but ignores. The mind sets when enough is enough and adherence is a rule. But does it matter for a heart that perceives things immeasurably? One against the other. Don't they know they just share the same misery?

When the heart chooses to drift away, the mind goes against the tide.
Directions are there but the sense of having it was lost. In the sail of life, there are times that mind and heart can never be the same as wind and wave -two elements dancing harmoniously till it make a complete thud against the shore. Who's handling the compass? If one does, how accurate is it? Will you let the mind determine the right course? Or will you let the heart go to the course that seems right?

When the mind owns reality, the heart lives with a dream.
How close is reverie to reality? The mind shrouds the heart with reality but the heart resists to embrace it. Dreams are like bonfire that keeps you warm to survive the cold night. But reality is creeping underneath your bed , quivering the surface, creating tremor of doubts until your eyes are wide open. Truth, why do we escape from it like fugitives despite the adage that it will set you free?

When the heart has so much to remember, the mind starts to forget.
Just when you thought that only the mind could remember, the heart holds on good memories. It was as if the blood that pumps through the heart as it throbs. Good memories heaped into the tall shelves but the mind grabbed a ladder and began to pull everything out. Have you tried to run away, lurk behind or even hope you could evaporate just to forget? Is hurting thyself more bearable and a form of preparation for a much painful truth? You hurt yourself, but what if by doing so, you might just hurting someone else?

How do you fool a foolish heart? How do you outsmart a shrewd mind? How could emotion let you feel yet dumb most of your senses? When logic hampered the way to happiness then how would that make sense? An outstretched soul between two forces dragging each other. Anything more frustrating than that? Is life too complicated to simplify? Or is it too simplified that we just make it complicated?

Once, a deranged soul asked...

In the battle of heart and mind, who shall prevail?

When Nature Strikes

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 03:11:00 +0000

September 26-27, in the wake of Typhoon Ondoy (Typhoon Ketsana -international name).

Cuddling her 3-year old son, the mother put down her belongings and sat beside me. Her husband left them to save their daughter from possible danger. On their way to Marikina City, they left their residential place to save the family from flood only to find out they were heading to a more flooded area.

Slouched in the corner was a college student who had been sitting silently for hours . I initiated a conversation. She left her school to purchase materials for a class presentation and when she's about to go back, the University was surrounded by flood. All her personal belongings including her money were left at school. Unfortunately there's no way for her to go back.

Sitting between them was me. I left the office at 4:00 PM to make my way home. Jeepneys and buses stopped their operations. In lieu of the usual path, I took a different route. But whichever route I may take, I'm trapped. Main roads were already submerged into flood. Vehicles were not moving and there's no way to leave the place but for me to fly. It was lucidly impossible to go home. I was handling my niece's mobile since mine was recently stolen but due to poor reception, I couldn't make a call to let my family know where I was.

We were three of many people stranded at Katipunan LRT station. I didn't make it to Santolan Station, the last station. There was an announcement that it was already flooded. Passed 9:00 PM, my stomach began to grumble. Most of the stores were closed and I was fortunate to have the last order of tuna sandwich. I had my dinner. It was 11:00PM, we were still slumped on the floor. I tried to keep my self awake by reading a book that I always carry in my bag. Then I played with the 3-year old kid, we talked though the only word he kept saying the whole time was "daddy". The hand of the clock reached 1:00 AM, my eyelids turned heavy and the kid slept with comfort wrapped by his mother's arms. I took off my jacket and used it as a blanket. Never in my life that I imagined myself sleeping at a train station in sitting position. From time to time I had to wake up, other than the uncomfortable situation, I was hoping things will get better. It was 5:00AM , vehicles began to move but a walking turtle is much faster. The college student began to cry, she doesn't know where to go. She was able to call her father and after learning that her family was fine, the line got cut off. Her father told her to go somewhere else, their place, Tumana Marikina City was already engulfed by flood. She had no money for fare, not a single penny. I don't have much cash that time. With 100 pesos in my wallet, I handed her the 50 and asked her if that would be enough. She was reluctant, wiping her tears. "Come on, take it", I said with a smile for her not to feel shy. I took her hand and tucked the money in. We exchanged names and said goodbye.

As I struggled to make my way home, Typhoon Ondoy continued to devastate the Metro Manila.

Photo courtesy of ABC News Australia

Photo courtesy of ABC News Australia (Reuters: Erik de Castr)

Photo courtesy of ABC News Australia

From Santolan Station, I had to walk few kilometers to reach Sta. Lucia East Mall . It was still dark, the road turned to a field of mud. Private vehicles were abandoned, no streetlights and there, on my way was a flood. I could see the other end of the road and it seemed feasible to pass through. The water was below my knee, I began to stride. Trucks also began to move and from the motion of its wheels waves began to form, it was coming to my direction. I had to find something to clutch on, if not, my exhausted feet will helplessly let me plunge and I'll swim like a frog. Thanks for that sturdy tree.

I reached the other end where crowds were swollen. People spent the night inside the mall. I had to stay under a waiting shed. I leaned on, covered my face with my jacket, closed my eyes and unknowingly slumbered. When I woke up, I was still with the same volume of crowd. I had to ride in a cargo truck where I and a friend bumped with each other. We have almost the same story. My friend recognized her neighbor who was a truck driver, we transferred to a 14-wheeler truck. A field reporter was roaming around, I ducked in to make sure I won't be interviewed or captured by the rolling camera. I have no plans to let my self seen on TV miserably like that and yes, I'm a camera shy.

My usual 1 1/2 to 2 hours of travelling time was off -the-record. It took me 22 hours to get home. After all I'd been through, I couldn't complain much but to thank God I was safe.

For all the victims of Typhoon Ondoy, it took my heart out. I pray that resilience will take over and everyone can start again. Life goes on.

I Won't

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:15:00 +0000

photo by Ebenezer Dominguez

Don't expect me to lose hope. Why would I? That's ALL I have...

When The Thrill Becomes A Threat

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:45:00 +0000

"The innocuous sea began to surge bigger waves and the falling drizzle blurred what's in sight. We tried to remain calm but the ocean seemed not. Worst, no one on our boat has the aptitude to swim, except, of course, for the boatman. My life vest will keep me floating but I'm not certain if after hours I would still be floating alive. Going against the tide, at any moment a huge wave will devour our frail boat. If we lose balance, the boat will make a complete overturn and all of us will adrift the vast ocean..."

Saturday morning.

Everyone went to work all packed up and good to go after the day of shift. It was our team building but I'm not sure if that's how you call it if half of the members wasn't there. Nine headcounts, one had to go. Midway as we're having dinner at the province of Bulacan, one received an emergency call- his father was rushed to a hospital. With our sympathy, he went back home but his ice bag went with us. After several thoroughfares and stop overs from 6:00PM to 11:PM, we reached our destination- the province of Zambales.

We met our contact person and assisted us to our place nearby the shore. My exhausted feeling dwindled when I got what I never had from the city- fresh air. Only through our illuminating flashlights and star-filled sky we were able to see our way. It was dark and I could only hear the soothing gush of waves from the void. The night turned deep and we took rest.

After a good night sleep, we had our breakfast and sails were ready. Three boats shoved off to cross another island.

Gigantic mountains surrounded by the sea. I'm always drawn to nature, how it could survive on its own and the symbiosis among living organisms. I don't really want to speak biology, I just can't help it. Things like these always leave me spellbound.

Thirty minutes had passed, we're close to Anawangin Island and welcomed by the mist fading through the morning.

I did island hopping before and I'm used to reach lands where there's no one but us. So far this one was the most crowded island I'd ever been. Local and foreign tourists everywhere. We strode through the place.

Had our lunch ashore and got ready for the second island. There's more to go, well...that's what we thought. Once more we shoved off but in the middle of the sail, little raindrops started to fall. The innocuous sea began to surge bigger waves and the falling drizzle blurred what's in sight. We tried to remain calm but the ocean seemed not. Worst, no one on our boat has the aptitude to swim, except, of course, for the boatman. My life vest will keep me floating but I'm not certain if after hours I would still be floating alive. Going against the tide, at any moment a huge wave will devour our frail boat. If we lose balance, the boat will make a complete overturn and all of us will adrift the vast ocean.

The boatman seated at rearmost asked me, "Are we still going to proceed to the next island?!". There's more about his question, I felt his fear- a fear contagious enough to pass on me. And I thought "this man had fully sensed the seriousness of the matter". I was next to him and I turned to my colleague next to me. As if playing the game of pass-the-message, I asked the same question- "Are we still going to proceed to the next island?!". We're just few inches from each other but kept shouting as we compete to the deafening sound of the boat engine. My friend responded by telling me not to panic. How could I possibly panic? I have no way to run, nor I have a way to jump. All I have is the edge of the boat to clutch on, the beat of my blood-pumping heart, a moment to decide and a prayer in silence.

I was thinking of the worst and the next possible way for survival. It struck us, a wave approached and went higher than the tip of the boat as if ready to swallow us, we lopsided. Three boats were still in motion with distance in betweens. Looking at each other, no one seemed to make any move. The way of survival is just at hand and that is- to decide. I let my left hand gripped at the edge of the boat, heaved my right hand and swayed my arm suggestive for retreat. I hollered " Let's go back!". Then the other two ladies with me second the motion. My team leader decided with a little less urgency. He pointed his finger to their boatman as if telling me the decision lies to the one who manages the engine. Yes, they supposed to manage the engine but not as to whether we drown or not. After few minutes, my team leader waved his arm as a signal to trail off. One by one, each boat deflected. It was a great sigh for visible land. When we stepped on the ground, all fears burst out and each has their own version of stories. If only I had a chance to take a shot of that moment. But in a matter of life and death, one won't have time to yank a camera and take a snap.

It wasn't a strong rain but unlike the ground that stood still, the ocean danced with the raging wind. We decided to spend the next few hours at a falls. Unfortunately, we kept the cameras from getting wet so we never had a chance to capture the moment.

It's almost over, we headed back to our place. Four of us said that the rest can go ahead and they will just follow. I let the other three go their way and found my self alone. Slowly, I strode through the shore, took off my footwear and let my feet feel the grits of sand with gush of waves. Those passed hours had been unpredictable and unforgettable. Sometimes, we can choose how will things end only by how we choose to survive.

It doesn't feel great not being able to make it to the second island but nothing can be greater than making it to a second life.

I will still be able to see my love ones.
Thank God.

A Mother is God's Idea

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Mon, 11 May 2009 04:39:00 +0000

A Mother is GOD's great instrument for without her a child's first cry won't be heard. I always look with amazement to see a pregnant woman. A life inside a life, isn't that amazing? But being a mother ain't just about 9-month conceiving and painful delivery. It's a round-the-clock job, a fervent commitment, something that requires a whole heart and a keen mind. I am very blessed to have one. A mother is God's idea and he's indeed a genius.

To my mother, I may not be the sweetest daughter in the world but I am loving you at the best way I could. Thank you so much.

Happy Amazing Mother's Day!

The Dungeon Behind Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 02:55:00 +0000

My friend and I were striding on the way to their house. Suddenly a woman emerged from the rear, passed through us, running like a thief in search of a place to hide. She reached the gate and grabbed it with fear but before she could let herself get in, a sturdy man dragged her out and with his other hand gave a slap on her face. With the sound of its wallop, I felt the pain. But the fumed man found no satisfaction, he beaten her until she fell on the ground. The woman had little strength to fend off and so she took every furious blow of fist from her so called...husband.

They say in any serious matter, keep placid. Right, I didn't even get the chance to move. And while everyone motioned briskly to defuse the man so as to save the woman, I was there, agape and stood still. I didn't panic, I was shocked.

No lights and cameras, no director that will holler "Cut!" to end the gruesome scene. It's not a movie with great casting. Something that I thought could only be seen on TV. It was real and at that very moment, before my bare eyes...it's happening.

The woman was my batchmate during grade school and her husband is my friend's cousin. With how they went through their relationship, the couple is a perfect emblem of a sadistic husband and a battered wife. On that night before my eyelids turned heavy, questions filled my mind.

It was 9 years ago but the resonance came to me when recently my colleague was gone for two days and went back to work with bruises throughout her body. Contusions were gained from her husband who has been physically abusing her. She found him guilty of having an affair with another woman and doesn't help her with the financial responsibilities as a family. Their marriage has been dismal and beautiful. He's dismal, she's beautiful. In spite of everything, she has hope that things will fall into place and her husband's ill demeanor will soon change. I am between pity and admiration with what's going with her and how she sees it.

Once more, my mind filled with questions. How could a man physically hurt his woman? What's running through his mind while doing it and hearing his wife screaming for help? Is there really a point where a woman deserves to be beaten? Does the knight shining armor had a change of heart by pointing his sword to his forgotten princess? Do these men took their words seriously when they vowed " 'Till death do us part " where death means it will be through their own unscrupulous hands? Can you blame the woman if she choose to stay with hope in spite of violence? Why did they tell me that being alone is miserable where in fact having a partner can be more miserable than that?

In a headline from Inquirer (December 06, 2008), one of the leading newspapers in the Philippines, PNP Women and Children Protection Center had given report that indicated case statistics for violence against women. From 4,881 in 2006, cases incremented to 5,729 in 2007, it had risen 17 percent. Cases of 1,892 fell under the category of physical injuries and wife battering. Thanks for the facts and figures but these ain't satisfying most of my questions.

Marriage is like opening a crystal clear gate of paradise where there are beautiful promises ahead. But for some, the paradise seems to reach its end 'coz with few more steps, they're on the way to dungeon. A dungeon where one will struggle to find the way out.

While I'm typing every word in this post all I know is that...Love may have winter season when some things turn bitter cold but respect, despite the weather changes, must be kept fairly warm.

A Cut of Diamond

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 02:50:00 +0000

It's funny how arduous it is for me to fill up the field "About Me". I don't know, I just can't describe myself or maybe I'm not sure if I'm picking the right word. Only in my resumés I was able to forge myself for description where I have to indicate that Iriz is a dedicated person while pondering "Am I?".

'Till my best bud asked me to post "25 Random Things About Me". I even bargained if I could make it 2+5 random things instead, I only need 7 then. But anyways, let's not break the chain. Here's my homework and at end of it, we have bigger space to share your own cut.

"25 Random Things About Me"

01. A bit off- I'm not a vain person. I don't try hard when it comes to how I look. Less make up. I'm not perfectly pristine as if always ready for a photo shoot. I'm not a mess though, just someone imperfect but knows how to take care of herself.

02. Intro Amnesia- I'm not good with names. So after an introduction from a common friend and we bump into each other, I would start guessing whether your name is Stephanie or Stephen. After hours of convivial conversation as if we were long lost friends, forgive me if I'll say "Sorry...what's your name again?" (Well of course that does not apply here, we weren't introduced but yeah we bumped into each other *smile*)03. Not Right- I'm a left handed.

04. Folded & Hung-If there are ladies anxious and taking time to prepare about what to wear the next day, I'm not one of them. Only 2 things bother me, a job interview and a big event, other than that, as long as everything's folded and hung, tomorrow's what-to-wear will be fine. Pull out that jeans, pull out that shirt, mix and match and then I'm good to go. I don't prepare, I do it on the spot.

05. Piercing- I got 3 piercings on my body, 2 for the pair of my ears and another on my navel. No plans to add more.
06. It's a Must- When I was a kid I used to believe that there's a monster underneath my bed and a blanket was my shield of protection. Now, I realized how stupid I am to have that kind of imagination but I had outgrown that blanket, I can't sleep without it. Even in sultry temperature, I still need one to at least cover my feet. Without a blanket it feels like I'm sleeping naked.

07. Irresistible- I could resist a handsome guy but not a body massage. LOL. Anyways, who can say no for relaxation?08. Collections- Silverworks accessories, beach pebbles/stones, books, magazines, price tag, mistakes.

09. Shoe Wrecker- My mother told me "I really suggest you buy shoes made of steel". Most of my shoes don't last, not even the ones made in Marikina (A city in the Philippines where you can find the best shoemakers). I've been observing my feet if there are some sort of sharp teeth or alike but I found none. Or maybe because even though I have other pairs of shoes to wear, I always wear the most comfortable one. I use it everyday 'till it fed up on me.

10. Turn it Off- I can't sleep with lights on. I'm not sure if there's a scientific explanation for that but for now all I know is I can't. I just can't.
11. Chocolate Drunkie- I have tasted all, if not, almost all chocolate drinks in the market. When I'm not in a good mood, a sip of chocolate drink can sedate me. Maybe it's true that chocolates provide happy hormones in your body.

12. Adventurous- I'm just thinking life can't be entirely stagnant.

13. Turn it On- During rest days when I have so much time for general cleaning, I can't do better without the music on. With dust and dirt I let the music play and when I'm carried away I use the broom as a microphone. Crazy, I know.14. Hard-to-Gain -I don't have a diet, I eat anything I want as long as it's not alive and well cooked. I have a close friend, we eat almost the same amount of food and I would sometimes initiate for an invitation to eat out and she would burst "You're hungry again?!". I feel guilty 'coz while her body keeps ballooning, I remained slender. By weight, she's frustrated to lose and I'm frustrated to gain. I have a fast metabolism so might as well take advantage of it.

15. It Runs Through- My father has a Chinese blood, my mother has a Spanish blood. Now, I'm not sure what do I have, It could either be Chinish or Spanese.

16. It's the Color- I have a pair of eyes that doesn't lie but seems to make me a liar. One asked me "Iriz, how much did you pay for your contact lenses?". Busy riffling through folders, I took a pause and responded with wonder "Me? Uhm...I don't wear one...". and then he said "Oh come on...". Since then I have to convince others that I'm not really wearing one. I don't! and you have to believe me! It's not a pretty pair of eyes though, there are just instances that my eyes turn hazel brown but it's not something noticeable unless in a closer look and more apparent only when struck by light.

17. Id Rather - In some situations, I'd rather have nothing than to have something that I don't really like. You can't forge satisfaction and there's no trick for happiness but to get what you really want. Again, in some situations.

18. Form of Relaxation- I could spend 30 minutes for taking a bath and if it's my rest day when I don't rush, I could spend an hour. Yes, of course, I am certain that a guy like you hates a girl like me. As my brother would shout "You've been in a bathroom for so long! Are you planning to have a vacation or live there for good?! Then I would holler "Neither! Just bring me some pillows and a blanket, an overnight will do!
19. LOL -I am an incurable giggler and I love people who make me laugh. Sometimes I would laugh not because of the joke you crack but I am laughing just because of how you laugh.

20. Never Been- I want to be... a field reporter, an astronaut, a secret agent, an author, a scientist, a photographer, a chef, a pilot, a mother. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a piece of "wanna be".

21. Balanced- I am a person who takes time to mingle and takes time to be alone.

22. Shake Me - My sister once told me in a sulky mood "Know what? Asking a help from you is always been so easy but finding where you are is the hardest one". My sister always need me for an opinion or at least a conversation 'coz I am someone who can be serious and silly at the same time. She needs my time and she demands it. And with her few words, I guess I've known myself somehow. Better shake my busy world rather than just waiting 'till I come out and when I come out I'll make up for those times I was gone. Because of her words that threw me one of the guiltiest feelings, now I couldn't resist when someone insist.

By the way, meet my sister, she turns green when feels upset.

23. Mark - I have a birthmark on my left leg that took me time to realize what it is because of it's light color. I thought it was a dirt or something but when scrubbing with soap and antiseptic alcohol didn't let it go away then I knew that tiny map-like is part of my skin.

24. Conscious - I'm a health conscious person (something I don't realize not until my sister told me I am) believing that it always start from within. I get sick when my body don't sweat, that's why I enrolled in a fitness class. I spend my spare time by going to the gym. Not sure if you'll agree with me but you won't look good unless you feel good.

Oh my... I can't believe it, Im almost done!

25. I do and I dont- I don't smoke. I drink, occasionally.

Now, I realized a list of 25 isn't enough. LOL. But again, I won't break the chain so I'll stick on it.

Okay, okay...so when I say "Diamond", you know I'm pertaining to YOU, right? Now it's your turn! Give me that cut, tell me at least one thing or anything about you that you'll be glad to let me and let us know.

We have a bigger space down here. Let's do it randomly. Who'll go first?!

Another 365 Days

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:40:00 +0000

Another year gone by and a new one is welcoming a smile. In retrospect, the past 365 days became a mirror of ups and downs, laughters and tears, friends and enemies, success and failure, peace and war, love and hate. I'll keep the good memories and learn from the bad ones. I don't expect life to be perfect for this year but just like you, I'm looking forward for something better. There are lot of things that I am thankful for, you're on the list. Thanks for staying around!

I have some unfinished businesses and all of them will be carried over. As usual, I have plan B's just in case plan A's won't work and since things didn't work well for me recently, I'm thinking maybe I should have plan C's or maybe up to plan Z's :). I'll try to learn three new things for this year and others that will come my way. I'll satisfy my greatest frustrations, in fact, I just began.

New year's resolution? I guess I always have resolutions though the year haven't start afresh. Continuously learning from my own blunders and others goofs, trying new things and swearing to heaven with stars as my witnesses that I won't do such thing again (stars won't spill it out, just in case). But yeah, new year's resolution, why not? For now , I'll make a mental note of it. ;)

I'm wishing you guys a great year ahead. Good health and happiness. More posts for all of us!

And as long as you stay around, I'll watch over.

Happy New Year!!!

---

The Gift

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:30:00 +0000

The greatest gift in life can't be donned by expensive wrappers, can't be tied by colorful ribbons and can't be found in any fancy store. It's beyond what eyes can see and what a hand can grab.

Just look around and never let every little thing be taken for granted.

Don't forget to stand in front of the mirror and see the GIFT meant for them.

You are a gift that satisfies someone's heart in ANY SEASON...

By the way, Thank you.

The Blah-gger

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:38:00 +0000

As I perched on my tilted chair with my nape leaned on and my face looking upward, I was hoping that a painted ceiling could amuse me. Right where I was seated, it felt like I'm being grilled by dullness. I squinted to the right, there was an empty chair and to the left was a colleague, dozed and slumped to his arm, drooling. So one must experience solitude some time but not all the time. I needed to talk to anyone about anything in anyhow. It was a moment of excruciating boredom and I am excruciatingly bored.

Computer, that's the closest thing visible to me. Talk to a machine with gestures, what will I suppose to say? 0110011010011? Speak the binary language? That must be nice but not when someone sees you. Unless you want them to think that you have left your sanity somewhere else. But yeah, talk to a computer, what are keyboards for? I opened a browser and my fingers sprightly on each keys, I typed on the address bar...www.blogger.com . I really don't know much about the site except the fact that you could create you own page and post anything you want. I just thought that must be cool.

I signed up, chose the template and there! A less ornate page no one would have an interest to view. It's a good thing I never told anyone that once, I dreamed to be a web designer or else after seeing my blog page, someone might sneer at me and ask where did I get the nerve to wish of becoming one. There's a link that says "comments" at the bottom, I know it was there for a reason but I guess I won't to make use of it. I told myself that I would remove that option, but how? A primitive one still navigating through the settings. I forgot to remove it though, I prioritized on what would be my font, its size and whether I'll make it bold or italic. Yes, I took it seriously but end up with a funny crap page. I chuckled furtively on my seat, making fun of my boring piece.

The title. What would be the title? I thought of a nice one I could muster. "Iriz's Blog" would be nice but the 'Z' and 'S' slur together, I tried to pronounce it and there's a little effort separating 'z' and 's'. Try to pronounce it yourself so you would know (come on just try it). It sounds like a bee turning to a snake . I know I don't make sense that much but I must come up with a title that depicts one. Just like how Fish Eye got her title, I had learned that a fish eye is a kind of camera lens and relatively logical for posting about photography (am I right?). And so I pondered for my blog's sake.

I could say that how a person thinks and feels clearly define who he or she is. How you behave is based on the reasoning or arbitrary choices. Let's not define what's good from what's not, it doesn't matter, the point is, it's YOU. So you say "It's me" and you give them two choices, " take it or leave it". That's what I thought trying to come up with a good title, not sure if I'm right or wrong but one thing is certain, I got a title for my blog. That was the birth of Mind and Emotion.

Have you ever heard of an introvert blogger? Yes, someone who writes and yet she was so shy of letting someone else read it and so she reads her post alone. Introvert blogger, yes, that's me. I was writing on my desk doing my second post when a friend of mine emerged from the back. "What's that? Is that your blog?" she asked. I covered the monitor screen by my two hands and told her it was nothing. For a moment, I forgot that every browser has a minimize button that you can click on if by any chance you want to hide the active page. Way more convenient than covering the screen by your hands or feet. She forcibly removed my hand as if swatting a mosquito away. She gave me no choice and after going through it, "Why are you hiding it where in fact you have to let others read it?!". Her tone was somewhat threatening or she seemed in need of sedatives. She talked too much and too fast, I wasn't able to grasp some of her words but If I'll put it into brevity, I guess she meant like this, "Iriz,don't you see it? A blog is designed in an interactive format and you have to make sense of it. Now go and do some blog roll!". As I tried to absorb her words of wisdom, I thought to concede is the best way to shush her. "Really? Okay...", I said just to get away from it but I took her advice anyways.

I got my first comment! "Would you believe that?", I told myself. Someone just landed on my page and Finding Eben was the first one who found me.

Never thought I could write until I did. Perhaps one may doubt my words from what I say but not from what I write, I may not tell it all (Sorry, I don't want you to read a post that will take you two days to finish) but what was told must be undoubtedly real and from within.

Roaming around the blogosphere, I have seen a bigger world. From boredom it became my solace, from solace it became my home. A home with a door left ajar, you don't need to knock, you just come in. No competition 'coz one is solely unique from the other. You meet great people, not based on how they look but who they are. Here, you just dare to be you, and either through words or photos,you let your private mind transpire. They may care what you say but who cares how you say it? You just go on and bubble over. Incessant conversation through comments , it's like sitting with friends in a circle and everyone has their turn to say anything with buoyancy. We may have disparities but no opinion or comment is WRONG, 'coz here, we do it the WRITE way.

Okay, all I really want to say is...IT'S NICE TO BE BACK!

Swaying Goodbye (For a While)

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 13:54:00 +0000

I'll step out of the blogger world for a while. Perhaps a month or two or more. I'm not sure until when but one thing is certain...I'LL BE BACK. Undeniably, I will miss you all, the circle of friends we have. As I go, I'll carry this one I got from a friend 'coz this is the same great thing I have for each of you guys.

Love you all!

I Explore

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:35:00 +0000

We paddled through the rushing water and every step was a darker mystery. With illuminating flashlights and accruing curiosity, we traversed the dim place. The deafening silence depicts that something is lurking behind, alluring us to come closer. My every step was done with caution or I'll find myself plunge into the shallow water, gain bruises of recklessness and a chance for them to laugh at me. What convenience do I have stepping on something I can't barely see? Thanks for the one who invented the flashlight. I went on, painstakingly.

An aloft squeaky sound passed through us, I felt the soft gush of air. Little wings flopped and I could vaguely visualize the adroit creature.

"Is that a...bat?" I asked.

"It is." My friend confirmed.

And I thought I made a hogwash question. Of course, what flying creature would I expect inside a CAVE?

"That might be a playful one who got lost and now finding the way abode or maybe the winged creature was just trying to break the boredom of hanging up there." I told myself.

So much for that bat. I was fascinated by the strange place, somewhere I've never been but always wanted to be. At the moment, it's not a just a mere image printed on a photo paper, I was there experiencing every detail. If you're not an adventurous type, you might not have the interest to scroll down. If you care to do so, just try to imagine, I was there and you're with me.

Careful okay....slippery surface can put you into shame...

Oops, it's darker here, well of course...

What if walls in your office will be like these? Would you still come to work?

Come on... don't think about earthquake, not now!

Look closer, just like scintillating diamonds.

See that? No exquisite hanging chandelier but what a great ceiling!
Those are Stalactites, it's a chemical reaction between water and limestone.
It's also a deposit of calcium carbonate resembling an icicle.
Will take million of years to form, so it's an extremely slooooow process.

Wow...

It was a worthwhile experience...

Sometimes you have to scramble your life. Go somewhere you've never been, do something you haven't done. For a moment, leave that boisterous city and forget that heap of work. Look forward for something unusual, I'm not saying you go for caving but anything that allures your interest.

Perhaps, that bat which flipped and flopped left the usual herd hanging on the cave's palate and then tried to explore, and just like that winged creature, you can also break the boredom.

Location:
Cacupangan Cave
Mabini Pangasinan, Philippines

Auditory Sense

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 04:30:00 +0000

It became a usual scene, a table between as she seated in front of me like a purring cat gone insane.

"Iriz, tell me what must i do?" she asked.

"Get out of it. You just told me...that man is still living with his wife who will give birth few months from now. One day you'll have your own family and I'm sure you won't be glad to know your husband is having an affair with his employee." I gave my advice.

"But I love him." She retorted.

We all know that the word "but" is a conjunction where two phrases are joined together, the word is usually in between. In her case, "but" is where everything begins.

"Sometimes you have to choose what is right over what you want. I'm telling you, it's a mess." Me, pressing it harder.

We've been discussing the issue for the nth time. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advise... guess what? I gave her one. And as we looked at it in a split overview, it seemed we're both consistent.

For couple of days she'd been struggling with flu. I bought her medicine and kept track of her intake. She told me it's not just a flaming temperature, once again she's being attacked by her cervical infection. It was her major health problem for years but stopped to get medical assistance when she began to feel better.

"Don't you think it would be better to consult a doctor? I'll accompany you." I insinuated and so we did.

I was waiting at the lobby, she slowly approached and with her pale face I'm not expecting her to tell me she's fine.

"What did the doctor say? " I was gleaning for details.

She clutched my hand as if I'm going to run somewhere. I could feel her trembling flesh and it began to bother me more.

"What?" In a demanding tone, I asked.

"I-t-s p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e." She stammered.

Few words followed, enough for elaboration. I looked into her eyes and I saw the break of the dawn. A tear didn't easily fall but it surrounded her eyes like a deep well of fear I could not fathom. In my mind, I found a scant vocabulary to pick the right words that would console her. It's more than just a cervical issue...

She got a Sexually Transmitted Disease...

The doctor asked her to go back with her partner but it never happened. The guy she used to love ditched her in the middle of abyss. Then there came darker revelations, her colleague, the accountant, was also having an affair with her boss. It's a circle of fools and I hate to know she belonged.

Did you ever come to a point when you sought for advice, you got the best one but you just didn't take it?

I did.

Now I'm thinking about my parents. From the kitchen, my mother would usually remind me in a shrill voice.

"Iriz, make sure that you bring umbrella, I think it's going to rain!"

"Yes Ma, I gotta go. Bye." I responded with a little lie just to leave her at peace.

Then I wafted through the door without any umbrella at hand believing it's going to be a sunny day but it turned out that my mother was right. The next day, I was not feeling well.

Sure, I didn't get STD on that day but that made no difference between me and my friend. I am just like her. Sometimes...

We hear but we don't listen...

Hearing is using your auditory sense. Listening is processing the data that was gathered by your auditory sense. So hearing is just hearing alone but listening is hearing that requires thinking. Do I make sense?

It's good to rely on our own judgement and consider certain actions, by then we can call ourselves " DECISIVE". But that doesn't mean we have to shut our mind from external opinions and concerns. You might not know how these few words can save you from trouble. Hear, listen and weigh things over.

Years had passed and regarding health and emotion my friend fully healed.

And yes, my mother doesn't have to shout as I leave the house. Rain or shine, I always have my umbrella on the go.

The Science of Cuts and Stitches

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 06:40:00 +0000

Along with our fluid society comes the human race with unstoppable innovation. They discover, experiment, and dare to achieve more. With array of indelible breakthroughs, could we say that we had lived our lives to the fullest? Science is too vast and discoveries are spontaneous but narrowing it down as we focused on human itself, let's talk about the science which also becomes the current lucrative and risky business here in Asia....Cosmetic Surgery.

A colleague of mine spent a not so frugal expense of P74,000 to have his nose done. He loathed his big flat nose and swear to heaven that one day he'll have that pointed nose he'd been coveting for. After series of medical examination, finally, he undergone 3 hours of operation. During the recovery period of two weeks, there was an abstinence from oily food, he was not allowed to smile or laugh, or any facial movement that will intrude the nose in progress. So I thought at that moment, if you're holding grudges against him and you want to get even, tickling his feet is the best revenge.

The result was good. It was like a pencil turned around the sharpener...pointed. He adored himself like never before and his boyfriend loved it (yeah, you read it right).

It's been a trend that after a certain operation and and desired result was achieved, one keeps coming back for more. In the business of cosmetic surgery, people are going across countries within Asia to look for affordable prices. Few months ago, I've read from The Reader's Digest magazine that major spots are Thailand, Korea and Singapore. Seems that we have nations in the pursuit of perfection.

Here, someone who was once a customer of cosmetic surgery is called "retokado" from the word "retoke", meaning "repair". The process itself we called "Thank you Doc". Sounds like you owe someone a huge favor though you just paid for it, tax inclusive. Nowadays, people are very open about it and going to cosmetic surgery ain't a secret. But it's also "ain't a secret" that during surgical operation, there are failures which lead to death. Life...that's too much as a trade for vanity.

I'd like to be a surgeon but I want to do it in a life saving situation. Let's say you're too clumsy walking , you slip on the ground and lay on the railroad, then a train passes your face. If that happens, might as well borrow a face from a dog or just call me, the surgeon to the rescue. But anyways, I'm daydreaming here, it's too late to shift career though.

My body alone can define the word "imperfect" and heaven forgive me for hating it sometimes. I'm fine with changes for it is inevitable but I don't want to do it in a drastic manner especially if health is a huge thing to consider. But this doesn't mean that I'm trying to contempt people who have silicon implanted under their breast or those who are wrapped like mummy after extracting fats from liposuction. I guess people have different interpretation for the adage "love thy body".

Whether it's vanity or anything other than that. For whatever reason one may have, the world revolves in a fast pace and human had found ways to make things easier. Thanks to science and technology, we have gained tremendous advantages. Just beware of the other way around.

Cosmetic surgery...the science where it's just a matter of being ready to go under the knife.

Ooppss....sorry not that one.

There you go...

Just In Time

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:30:00 +0000

Why is it that when you're in so much hurry, JUST IN TIME, things turn VERY SLOW? Feels like chance is smiling at me peevishly.

On the road, loading stations were jam-packed with people making their ways to schools and offices. Fortunately, I was the one of those who had a great and laborious morning on the way to work. I clambered through the bus not being sure if I could make it inside and with the hope that chance will be so kind to have me spot a vacant seat. If not, I have no choice but to stand up, grip on bars to keep my balance and wait 'till the bus is partially unloaded. It occurred to me that gentlemen nowadays can be considered as endangered species and I'm afraid they're close to non-existence. In a public vehicle like this, expecting a guy to stand up and offer his seat to you is like winning the major prize in a most exciting raffle draw. So, I gave myself a wish of good luck.

Luckily, I got my individual seat.

Must be at work as early as 8:00AM but the bus was making a turtle-like motion. There was no car accident on the way or a crowd having massive social rally, one can call it just an ordinary day. This explains why people in our local area are starting to believe that heavy traffic isn't an issue but something to embrace as "normal". Who would ever thought that normal can be so ridiculous as this?

Since the vehicle was at the same spot for so long, I could tell you that it felt like we're in a parking lot. The weight of the bus remained static on the ground and the gravity on earth is not helping me. I'd like to to push the window open, crane my neck out and shout at the top of my lungs "What the @%^#$? is this?! Move your wheels! I'm getting late!" But of course...that's a stupid idea so there's no way that I'll do that, just a by-product of my burning frustration. I remained on my seat holding sobs.

I can't blame the bus driver who managed the steering wheel, can't blame the car before us which also waited on the long queue, can't blame the innocent traffic lights that no matter what color it had didn't make any difference with the traffic flow, can't blame the traffic enforcer...for I didn't see any. So let me blame the government for not being able to construct wider roads and let me blame myself for having an erroneous estimation of time to reach my destination. Wish I could dig a tunnel that begins from our house and ends straight to my office. Don't you think that would be great?

When the bus made a complete halt to unload passengers, I rushed out the door and crossed the road. I got only few minutes and to beat the time I'd like to run just how they do it in marathons. But no, not with my 3-inch high heels. I actually hate high heeled shoes but I'm pretty sure you won't like to see me wearing a corporate attire with comfy slippers.

At last, I'm at the main entrance of the building but it's not yet over. The elevator was waiting for me, it opened up and employees rushed in. I'm in a total impatient mode as the elevator stopped at every floor.
Finally, I'm at the 11th floor and made my way to our training room. I didn't think that greeting them a "Good morning!" was appropriate at the moment and for me.

A smile along with my shrinking feeling, I uttered...

"I'm sorry....I'm late"

No matter how you rant today due to heavy traffic, distance between your house and work office will be the same distance you'll go through by tomorrow. So either you reside to a closer location or wake up earlier. Perhaps you could include that huge tunnel as well. Can you think of any other options?

Careful

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Fri, 23 May 2008 02:44:00 +0000

Look at those eyes... it seems like she's saying a favor you could hardly resist...
How about her fur like cottons to touch? One may want to give her a hug...
You might wish to pinch her sweet little nose...Don't you find her beguilingly cute?
Well for me...SHE'S NOT!!! THAT CAT STOLE MY FRIED FISH!!!
You know when you patiently heat a pan and have the oil hot enough for the white meat and you're too hungry to cook and serve yourself ?
Then you have it well cooked and placed it on your table only to be eaten by NEIGHBOR'S CAT!
Why can't she wait 'till i finish my meal? By then I can have the fish bone shared.
Oh...my last glance on that crispy fish tail as she ran for her living.
I don't know if she has a name but maybe I can give her one like...THIEF!
She must be a wolf in a cat clothing.
Great...i had to forge myself a satisfaction with a can good!

That cat is smart by the way...and I...feel like a fool.

(Don't worry, she's still alive and had the nerve to show up on me to had herself captured )

Deceitful...we have them around, with greedy fangs and sharp claws to grasp a dark chance but not all of them do meow...it might be just someone beside you with a sweet smile.
Careful.

Extra Syrup

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sat, 17 May 2008 02:30:00 +0000

I came from an event that began late at night and ended too early in the morning. It was 3:00am and heading home alone won't be safe. I stopped by a 24-hour fastfood restaurant to have some breakfast. Pancake, it's always been my favorite and made my order.

On my table, it was served hot with butter and syrup at the side accompanied by coffee and pineapple juice. Two thin and fluffy pancakes, I took my first bite. I could sense an awful taste, the second bite. I'm wondering if it's the pancake or the syrup, the third bite. For a pancake, it's a taste offensive for my taste bud. It's sour!!!

As grimace traced on my face, I read something printed on their plate just below their proud name. "A taste that will keep you coming back"

Yeah right...

I called for a crew. "Excuse me, can you please check this one? It taste awfully sour."

The crew brought the pancake back to the kitchen and went back on me not able to deliver a precise explanation.

"Just go ahead, replace it." Me, being too tired for the day.

I've always been their customer exclusively for pancake. I won't come in to their store unless I'm craving for one. The second serving was great, to my surprise, for the first time in the history, pancakes were thick and wide and I could splurge with syrup. Is that what you call a peace offering? And from the crew who made the second serving, I had learned that a vinegar was accidentally diluted with the mixture.

As I made my slices, I guess the syrup wasn't enough so I called someone for assistance
"Is your Manager here?" I asked.

"Yes Mam" a polite response from the crew.

"Good, get me an extra syrup and your Manager please" My favor and demand.

"Manager Mam?" the crew asked who I guess a bit deaf and gave my clear "Yes".

Staff around were somehow frozen and every one's looking at me as the Manager approached. With how I see them it was like they could sense an impending trouble.

"Are you the Manager?" For me, he neither look like a security guard...nor a Manager.

"Yes Mam. Anything I can do for you?" the Manager asked.

"Oh yes, can you make sure that all your condiments are in proper place?" I responded.

The Manager gave me a blank face.

"And keep it away from your pancake mixtures". I continued.

As I am distracted by his wide forehead, I narrated what happened to give him a full idea.

"Well, I'm not totally upset (If I do you'll see how it is to be slapped by a pancake). We make mistakes (thinking of a cook working in a 24-hour store and haven't got enough sleep) but as the Manager (which I doubt) you should know what's happening inside the kitchen. I just don't want it to happen again, not just to me but to all of your customers".

There was a burning shame in him and I'm trying to lessen the tension by keeping a smile. Through his eyes I'm pretty sure he's wondering how was I able to manage a composure after the frivolous service. No, I'm not trying to be nice, Im just too tired to throw the table out of the store.

He apologized sincerely and thanked me for my concern.

Vinegar in my pancake? I let it slide...anyways it's an ingredient frequently found in my mother's recipes. I don't really have an intention to make a scene, I just don't want to leave the place knowing I haven't speak up my mind. As a customer, it's my right to give negative feedback but I guess being frank doesn't necessarily be loud and raging.

In situations where you have to speak up to raise your point don't hesitate to do so 'coz you might leave the room with "could have beens" and "might have beens". As a customer, you have a say on how they render service and your negative feedback is a vital piece for them to do better with their business. Go complain!

In my case, I can't ask the spoon and fork to stand up for me and uphold with my point or have the pancake fold itself into two, form like a mouth and do the talking. Well, that's cool! But the the thing is we're not in a puppet show.

I reached home with a peaceful belly and I'm thinking what if it's not a vinegar? What if it's a cockroach or something? Well, they should apologize but it's going to be beside a lawyer

Hmm...again...I'm craving for a pancake...

Kids: I guess What They Mean Is...

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 01:14:00 +0000

My older sister got married and now has 3 wonderful kids. Well, me, playing the role of a nice Aunt has no choice but to call them wonderful. Lol. Kidding aside, they really do. They used to call me "Tita I" (Tita means Aunt).

Anytime my sister is not around and I have to keep an eye on them is a moment that I realized the laden of being a parent. During lunch when everyone was so busy consuming their food, I had noticed the youngest one can't balance the spoon very well. I offered to do it for her but she intensely refused. The spoon turned out to be a rope being pulled from different directions that whoever let go first will lose. Of course... she won. As she struggled to take the food into her mouth 15% was successfully swallowed and travelled through her belly, 80% fell helplessly onto the table. The 5%? Stranded between her teeth. The little girl enjoyed her lunch and I hoped I feel the same way as I cleaned her mess. Watching me as I picked some grains, the beam on her face was like telling me she had done something perfectly on that day.

I guess kids really mean that sometimes you have to get out of your box and take initiative. There are things you won't learn unless you do it on your own. If you want to be good on something, no one can stop you...even your most pretty Aunt.

Busy doing home chores, I let the kids play on the floor with toys cluttered and had the chance to go upstairs. As I arranged my stuff, I heard a commotion and dodged through my way downstairs. There, two kids I left with serenity a while ago are now trying to slay each other. You know toys, they aren't just for fun, it can also create a chaotic atmosphere and can be very useful for a kid under emotional rage and feels the need to hit someone. Dolls turned flying saucers, bolted through the air and reached the ground dilapidated.
-

"Stop it! I said stop it!" I scolded after making my quick few steps. The two little monsters were too ferocious to unravel and seemed too deaf to hear me. After few minutes, finally, I was physically between them.

"What's the problem huh?" The interrogation began.

"She stole my car!!!" An accusation from the little boy screaming for justice.

"I just want to borrow it!!!" A defense from the little girl trying to acquit herself.
"Okay...okay..." Me, thinking if I could bring it to the supreme court.

Unfortunately, the judge, their mum, wasn't around so I had to take and weigh things over. And to be little less harsh I made sure that whatever my verdict would be won't lead to imprisonment.

"Little boy, why don't you just let her borrow your toy for a while. Anyways you have a lot of other toys to play with, I'll just make sure that you'll have it later. And you (looking at the little girl) promise him you'll give it back and don't forget to thank him" I closed the deal.

The little girl did nod and the boy turned his back, he gave way but with a heavy heart, found a corner and play as he wept. Being swamped by so many things to do, much of my time was wasted but I had to sit for a while and stay more to assure that the war had ceased. The little girl stood beside me, her elbow touched my knee. Handling the toy, she got what she wanted but unhappy seeing her only playmate for the day with river of tears.

"Go, say sorry to your brother" I uttered. A bit hesitant but slowly made her way to the corner and gave the toy back.

"Brother...I'm sorry, let's just play." She sheepishly uttered as she hugged her brother and gave him a kiss.

I'm telling you, they look really cute and I tried to remember if I've been like that to my brother when we were young. I'm still trying to recall until now and perhaps by tomorrow I still do.

I guess kids mean that siblings with given disparities on attitude and thinking is just one reason not to expect a total harmony. Conflicts will come your way but what vital is you know how to forgive, far more than that, you also need to know how to admit your mistakes and apologize.

I love having conversation with kids.

"Tita, when I grow up I'll buy you a bunch of slippers!." The little girl told me with enthusiasm as she moved her hands trying to describe a mountain.

"Wow! well that's great but where will you get the money to buy me some?" I asked with a smile.

"Ummm...I'll asked grandma to give me money!" She answered then I took a pause.

"That is so sweet!" I responded with appreciation and gave her a tight hug not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

She could have answered "I'll finish my study, find a good job and earn a living" or something like that, by then she can purchase a slew of slippers enough for me and our neighbors. But talking to a 3-year old kid wanting to do something extra for her Aunt, it's definitely a smart and sweet answer.

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I guess kids mean that one must have a dream, even little ones and when you dream go share it. On the day of your triumph, you'll never know how many people will be proud of you 'coz they know as you declared. If you failed, well that's a shame but at least you still have them around to sympathize for the same reason...they know.

Haggard from work, I reached home and opened the door. After the squeaky sound were tiny shrill voices "Tita I!!!". One hugged my right leg, the other hanged into my waist while the other was pulling down my left arm. I hobbled as I came in. My nieces and nephew stayed and waited for me 'till evening. Smart kids, they know it's my payday. I put down the box of donuts and they ate it like a tornado. After a while, my niece pushed herself up and sat on my lap.

"Tita, I miss you and I love you" I was touched by the little monster who used to let me always clean her mess.

"I miss and I love you too...So where's my kiss?" I tenderly responded and asked.

She pulled her sleeve and wiped out the flour on her mouth that she got from eating donuts. I felt little hands on my cheeks and gave me a kiss on my lips. I was amazed how kids freely say what they feel.

I guess kids mean let them know. If you missed them, what's stopping you to say it? You'll never know how these little things touch the biggest part of their hearts.

Kids, they have a lot of things to share but I guess they don't really need to say what they truly mean.

The Show is Over

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:00:00 +0000

She thought she'll get hurt to hear the truth.
Surprisingly she was just disappointed and had a deep sleep by night.
You could have said nothing when she asked you, leaving it as a secret instead of a lie.

You made her believed.
Perfect.

Now, don't you think it's time to give yourself a little rest?
'Coz the show is OVER.

The Game of Fire

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Have you ever spent a night with someone and by the next day your ways crossed, exchanged hi's and hellos as if nothing happens? The casual way.

Playing game is fun but how far can you go to please yourself?

This might be one of your games...Are you ready?

Straight from her lips, she confessed. Details by details, how it began and how long it's been goin' on. The set up? No commitment, no strings attached...just a bed buddy. It's when two pieces of flesh joined together, did such thing over and over but never talked about it. Well, I guess that is just fine not unless one gives in and goes beyond the agreement.

She became emotionally susceptible and felt a pinch whenever another girl roves around her bed buddy. In every game, there's a rule and NO DEMANDS is a big thing for this one.

The guy, on the other hand shows no strong feelings of any kind. And the girl admitted that made her flinched. I don't believe that the guy wasn't aware of how she feels. Someone's trying to pretend that everything's fine.He knows but tries ignore it and so the game goes on.

One thing is for sure, in the middle of the spiralling flame is a burning dilemma.

Dunno how will it end but it's a matter of choice and how you adhere with it.

Whether it is wrong or right, I'll leave it all to them, I'll leave it all to you.

Anyways it's hard to judge and show total acuity on a situation you've never been.

I'm not here to lay my verdict.

Just here to remind the adage "YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS"

Wanna play?

For the one who wants to initiate, don't lay all your cards, if you do...that's how you'll lose the game.
For the one who wants to join, go ahead...amuse yourself but be cautious enough to be aware of what a fire can burn. Ashes ain't a broken glass, no pieces to reclaim.

This is the game of fire.

Now, can you tell me who wins?

Simplify

noreply@blogger.com (iriz) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:26:00 +0000

In equation, when formula gets tough due to COMPLEXITY, we might need to go back and master the BASIC. It will take another time but getting the right answer is what really matters

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In life, when situations gets tough and COMPLICATED, after exhausting everything, we might as well go back from where we BEGIN. It's not a waste of time either 'coz as we travel back, we know we just learned a lot.

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Sometimes the ambiguity of life is resolved by having it SIMPLIFIED.

I'm starting to simplify one equation of my life.