vigxter's code!!

it feels alright, alright soon!...

2012-01-20T00:38:00.000+05:30

it has been days of searching
searching for things that can't remain

roads walked, days lived
days lived reflecting

a dark world is what i had in mind
mind that never stops trying to find

quietly standing under a shade and watching
watching, losing out on life over those years

as morning turns into night
night, when promises begin to break

looking around me and what do i see
i see some eyes mystifying me

cries that will soon turn into smiles
smiles, that says everything feels alright

what have i become???

2011-12-05T18:00:00.000+05:30

trying to kill time and everything that comes along

i see if it's still in me to feel what's known as pain

a sting on what's real with unremembered memories

for i know everything becomes ashes in the end

with broken thoughts that cannot be mended

sitting on a chair that's nailed to me but this ain't no grave

underneath the sands of time, feelings disappear

if pain was real, it would kill itself with the winds of change

making people think i am someone else, in my empire of dreams

well, i am being myself my friend but tell me, what have i become?

life is life...

2011-11-06T02:29:00.001+05:30

My friend, if I could give you one thing, I would give you the ability to see yourself as others see you... then you would realize what a truly special person you are. ~Barbara A. Billings

more often than not, you feel it's good to tell something like this, but it becomes really tough to a point where everything seems to be stagnant.. hearing things that you don't want to, seeing things that you don't want to, talking things that you doing want to.... making people believe in the saying "when it rains, it pours!"

we have the power and yet we don't give our best. we think about a whole lot of things every minute but forget to think about what's important.. we think so much about ourselves that we forget about the rest.. we want to sing and yet we remain silent.. we want to dance and yet we stay still.. you don't take the first step being afraid that it could be the last.. what we see ahead are just memoirs of what we have seen earlier.. life as the world seems to be, is round...

something is not alright, something is never alright... and this always seem to be the case... many a times i have wondered, why and what is the purpose of this life in this earth... and so it remains.. a mystery that will be solved moments before you pass..

Eulogy for a real hero!

2011-10-06T10:00:00.001+05:30

A genius looked up to by many and feared by a lot more... The innovator and thinker the world didn't deserve.. An amazing human being from what I have read. The person who actually proved that things could be done differently... A mentor for a lot of people including me and a great speaker whose words linger in my head when I am in doubt. He said "you've got to find what you love!"and boy!!!! he believed in what he said which is how his life became an example for people like us who share his passion...

A man who came into this world to truly make it better and interesting. This visionary who realized his dreams in such a short span of life was crazy enough to think that he could change the world.... and rightfully ," HE DID". A man who not only battled work and competitors, fought for his life against cancer, and that was a good fight too!! Owe it to his willpower completely and his commitment to take on every challenge.

3 apples changed the world, the 1st seduced eve, the 2nd fell on newton and the 3rd was bitten by Steve and offered to the world.. (twitter)

You leaving this place and the news of your demise has made me realize that I am still human and I can be affected.. All of us dream of following our passion and he has set something so high that he has pushed us to excel knowingly or unknowingly.. He lived as himself, without wanting anyone to follow and yet he has become a true leader without a title..

He came, he saw and he conquered!!! Steve, my iMan, you may be dead physically but you have left behind so many things to make yourself remembered... Including this particular post which is written on your own invention.. Reinventing design which i think was pretty much re-looking at devices which obvious weren't just pieces of hardware, but come to think of it, it is much more closer to us and hence the attachment and emotion for a person who we don't have a direct relationship with..

In life you excited us everyday and in death you continue to inspire.. an example of a man who made us know, life could be lived like this as well... You are truly an inspiration in my hall of fame and will be remembered forever!

what it take to be me.. atleast a little...

2011-08-19T18:41:00.002+05:30

A motivation of single-mindedness otherwise termed as obsession. A deviously unmitigated totally blank expression that says confident yet not arrogant. Seeing the tricky end for short assignments every time you close your eyes and wonder is this where you belong? Enduring the criticism and relying on your experience while taming the inner enemy in foreign grounds. Forgotten dates, memories left behind with a dash of suspense even after believing it was you all the way. When you think you are almost done, you gather your mysterious strength to hold back and the power to fly away…

the child in you...

2011-06-07T23:55:00.002+05:30

remembering those young laughter days
everything seemed funny in a way

trusting the soul of a person
where color of the skin wasn't a reason

being serious was only when during a fight
silliness and craziness was like our birth right

responsibility was just another word in the dictionary
handling us was considered legendary

with experiences we have come a long way
it's time we guide and not let the deserved astray

inspiration is like a child born to you
all you need to see is green, brown and blue

growing older through this world of strife without a clue
wake up and awaken the child in you...

written for Amaara Foundation

wishing every day there is a rainbow....

2011-06-01T01:33:00.000+05:30

waiting for people to tell what you need to hear

sometimes you need to let go and face your fear

blinded by the colors you want to see

drawing the world only that you want to be

looking at you now, wonder who i am seeing

lost in frenzy with a rough feeling

standing all alone wondering if it is unreal

stop, feel your heart and soul for real

acting like monkeys who just fell out of trees

communicating like a bunch of buzzing bees

there is no right or wrong in this life

misunderstandings very small, lead to long goodbyes

wish there is a clean slate every morning

not wake up trying to see what needs explaining

live life not on memories but now

wishing every day there is a rainbow....

the ugly truth...

2011-05-22T00:18:00.000+05:30

ok, how do i do this? well, this wouldn't be my post entirely as it would have lines from something that i asked one of my dear friend to share..

the theme is profiling a character, a character among all of us... hmmmm.... let's give a name for this artiste, how does droid sound? duh! nah! thinking, thinking, thinking.. rowan! i have no clue how that name came up, anyways.. it sounds good.. so i'm going to stick to that..

rowan, a very slow growing bloke, at least from his exterior looks, pleasant expression, a charmer in vivid ways and mostly in an even-tempered nature.. rowan always seems to be in a good mood which he happily cascades it to people around.. he is known for his self control and rarely seen to bug people with problems... he respects others according to what they deserve rightfully and treats them with dignity. totally independent character who knows when to stand his ground and when to open his mouth.. he mostly goes with the stream of life that takes him off beat sometimes..

a thinker by nature who likes to calculate every single step and who gets upset when things get out of hand.. a person who would take all the blame when things start going out of hand and would do anything to make things easier for people around.. even if it means destruction of his character and make him look like a villain...

rowan is not one of the easy ones to deal with, he has equally negative traits as much as his positive ones which makes it hard for others to feel very relaxed around him... for some, he looks like a very complex character and from a different world altogether.. as much attentive that he is, the span for the same is very less.. imagine talking to a person who would bring up every slip of the tongue, notice every frailty and point out all the goof ups..

he overlooks peoples imperfectness but doesn't forget them... with a smile he would accept the mistakes they make and sometimes even agreeing to them.. forgetting is something that doesn't come easily to him, a curse that is there from his birth.. a conversation with rowan seems like a constant test as he is persistently seeking explanation....

rowan would give it all for people who he likes and seen as a character with very less expectations... while truth is ugly, what is uglier is when he is stabbed in the back, the word forgiveness just disappears from his dictionary... from being kind, wise and patient, he can turn dangerous, angry and harmful in a jiffy.. there is no in-between for rowan, its either black or white, or, keenly angry or fully kind..

a demanding perfectionist with high altitude goals who lives among imperfections which is far away from being an ideal situation ever... very few times would you actually see rowan turn down a person and a reason for which he get manipulated... a better way to put it would be, he lets others manipulate him... adapting to every possible life condition, he has a way with things.. as much as he lets others manipulate him, he can make you like him for no reason and make you feel cursed.. ability to guess the most secret thoughts and can very easily imbalance the so thought of balanced solution..

pieces of jigsaw put together to form a bigger puzzle.. "riddle me this, riddle me that, would you like to be this big bad bat?"....... :-p

beauty and what it means...

2011-05-18T20:24:00.005+05:30

Everything is relative in its own terms and differs with perspective from person to person, based on age, up bringing, society, attitude and a whole lot of things that influences your mind in making a perception. So is beauty... some call it a judgement of the eye i.e. what your eyes see, you believe and for some it just exists as merely as a tingle in the mind on which a reaction starts and contemplation begins..

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, that's something I have heard, yes it does lie, literally.. ok! jokes apart, is it really our eyes or is it the mind that plays as usual, making the eyes see what it wants to see? mind takes precedence only when there is a considerable amount of time to assess, evaluate and realize.. not the case with the eyes and hence the lies..

beauty, an underestimated word is undefeated when it is seen from the inside... sometimes even anger has its graceful beauty... as the darkness surrounds us every night, a candle destroying itself for a greater purpose of spreading light, the pain it goes through... memories that make us look back at times and smile when you think about it... people drowning in their so called life and holding on to their hopes to see miracles... new born baby's cry that brings tears in the eyes of the parents... the uncertainty of life... now, these are beautiful... everything is, it just depends on who is seeing it, from where and how they perceive it to be...

Picture this, sitting beside a lake on a sunset evening, an old man looks at his lovers face who with all the wrinkles (which by the way mostly due to the cosmetic effect) is sitting opposite him.To him, she is beautiful.... to her, he and the sunset are breathtakingly beautiful and to me the entire scene is beautiful.Every creation for the creator is beautiful like and as they say, there is only one beautiful child in this world and every woman has it.. you could be ugly as hell (not that i have seen hell, if earth is hell, thats beautiful too) but there would be atleast one person in this world to tell you "you are beautiful"..

what doesn't... thick skinned will...

2011-05-17T23:08:00.000+05:30

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. well, that's the old saying.. now i think the "stronger" is replaced by the word "bitter".. seriously, i am not joking.. its like it appears in parts, going on and off and you wonder when it would actually kill you.. there are these whole lot of problems people have and its kind of what they have put themselves into not to blame them entirely but yea to most extent..

problems as i see is kind of relative, first problem is a big problem and then another one crops up.. what do you see now, exactly, the process of fascinating comparison starts.. suddenly the first problems seems smaller than the second one.. and the process goes up until you accumulate enough for your life... realizing you are just an actor in this whole process and you have the freedom to make a choice to cut loose but holding on to it makes some sense.. by the end of your acting career, you would have realized what you have accumulated apart from being a thick skinned of course..

the so called "drafts" and finally...

2011-04-24T04:12:00.005+05:30

Has there been a day when you thought to yourself, "i wish i had not done or said that? Do you believe, there is a past, there is a future and the present that we live in is the so called path towards the end? Do you continue to live your life as if nothing ever happened?

Have you ever sat down all alone and looked back at your past and wondered where you are now? Have you seen the world through another person's eye? Have you seen fear? Do you know when your journey of life started? Was there a day in your life when you thought to yourself "I dont know what to do"? Has there been a day when every word you said just turned out to be wrong in any possible way that you saw?

Well, this was a post that i had started writing in 2006 among the "drafts" as we call it now, it remained hidden.... Most of us have thoughts that are frozen in our mind, we tend to over look the fact that the other person could be right. What creates the problem is not because of the person or the topic under discussion, but the failure to accept...

What we have heard through our childhood as advice from our parents and elders just turns out to be true when you look at it... it's the perspective from where we see that matters and to which the maturity factor comes in life a puff of dust clouded with a number called "age".... i think the moment you understand life, the very reason for being alive becomes a factor for your non existence...

Every minute of your existence has a learning and a meaning in itself that we forget to grab the actual perspective and focus on something that is totally irrelevant... A life without depending on anyone yet dependable for everyone is really something if you know what i am talking about.. controlling what happens around you with your mind and yet no control on the mind itself is like having driving a car around in a crowded place without brakes.. let's face it, can you imagine the commotion it can create?

when i say assumption is the mother of all f!@# ups, expectation then definitely has to be the father.... either way it is a good combination, i just wonder for whom... today, may be years later when i review my past and bigger if to say if i am sane enough, i would be really surprised seeing me and how things have turned out to be what it is now..

pleasure of pain....

2011-03-10T20:55:00.000+05:30

my first post this year.. its not like i did not want to write, but the words were not superfluous... past couple of months my thoughts are faster that it used to be and it reflects on what i type. i actually miss words while i am typing, either my typing has become slow or my thoughts are going faster.. or age is catching up ;)

i think most of you would choose the last one ;) anyways.. been thinking about making my life a little more useful that what i am doing right now. its been work, eat, party, travel and a lot of other stuff.. i don't want to talk about a purpose in life and all that.. its all about perspective and what you feel is your satisfaction.. a lot depends on perspective and when to let go of your perspective when you think its wrong.

i want to do something different, something which would prove useful to someone when i am not around. i don't want a life well lived, but i do want a life that could touch someone's life and make it easier if i may say..

so where is the focus? that's something i still haven't figured out yet. life has been good & bad.. bad cos of some of the choices i made and good because some of them happened to fall in place. i think how and why people treat me in the way they do. i put some thought together and i was like, its you and your behavior that makes them treat you the way you want them to treat you. your reaction, your thought, your response, the way you look all plays a role in the way people treat you.

lately i heard about a relationship go off balance, should i just keep it as off balance or just say it dropped down dead? hope it is off balance, anyways, guess any relationship can go off track, even the best valued and the ones you never thought would have a skid mark... a lot of it has to be because they don't speak out, not objecting, not expressing their thoughts, not asking and just let yourself be exploited to silence and assuming everything is fine. well if everything was fine, it wouldn't be the way it is now. would it? a "no" in a relationship, could mean a "no" to the relationship. anger to everything that is right or wrong is a sign that something is bloody wrong. you have a choice to just ignore it assuming "all is well" or talk and figure out what is wrong. who has got to lose anyway if people just talk?

i really don't do anything to prove myself, i don't think i have tried either. now a lot of monotony is coming in and i'm kinda feeling restless. when more is given, a lot is expected.. staying without expectations, its tough, yea but possible.. sometimes i feel i thrive on that.. otherwise it would be pleasure of pain ;)

why do you even want to know?

2010-11-28T23:43:00.000+05:30

pretending to be a rebel and claiming to hate rules is so futile these days. it's a little nice to be really blunt and speak the honest truth in the darkest way possible. i just wish i could call someone an idiot, cos of the number of times the mistakes are repeated after and after again.. what they don't realize is what will be, will be and what will be, should be!

hoping that everyone is a coward in their own senses and claiming yourself to be a saint when everyone thinks you are the devil... people are tactful and they are not just polite cos thats how they want to be thought of.. its good to be polite, but foolish to repeat the same ounce of mistakes with the same amount of humility...

the consequences for the actions are so inane that invariably it comes back with pointing fingers making the person guilty of what is not supposedly their fault... why does people want to be so human? i really don't understand.. i should have been normal in some vague sense at some point of time to really make a clear understanding of why it feels that way.. or to find out the deeper truth if there was any..

screwing up flashes in your head and trying to figure out things that are not really a matter of disposition by inflicting pain on others.. is that really a thing? every single time when this happens and people let their guard down, the archangel has come twisting the thoughts and making people do something they regret the most... and they wonder or ask themselves, did i do the same mistake again or how does it matter.. i am f@#ing used to it anyways!

avatar.. how does it matter?

2010-11-01T19:46:00.000+05:30

my new avatar is that of a "hitman", it looks and feels like me. well, thats my profile picture as of now on FB. i am sure people know what these short forms stand for.. in some time, words will start shrinking and people would be like "hydm, ltns" wondering what the hell that is? its nothing but "how you doing mate?, long time no see..

sometimes with kids around, we anyway talk in these terms so that they don't get the words we speak.. weekends are like 4 movies a day and i sprained my neck trying to watch in an awkward position. ouch! it hurts... the color of the skin makes such a difference in some parts of the world that you just stand astonished by they way people treat you. we go to this cafeteria for lunch and sometimes we get stopped asking if we are employees, blah, blah, blah.. and then a white guy comes, whether he works there or not, if he has an id or not, he is just free...

how did this happen? well that by itself is a story and i am not wanting to get into all that.. looking from the other side and listening to the news, we too treat people by their color.. guess its everywhere so we will just leave it at that.

a couple of weekends back went to kingdom towers, its got a sky-walk on the 99th floor.. it was a nice sight to see the entire city from the top.. and we reached 99th floor in like a minute or so.. let me see if i can upload the video i took.. ok i am not able to get the video out of my fone.. will update it when i transfer it..

listen... and get paid!

2010-10-26T15:56:00.000+05:30

jabber, jabber, jabber.. and it keeps going on.. i am just done with my lunch here and looking at the tasks that are pending not from my side, but others is really irritating.. i really think i have reduced the amount of talking that i do these days not that i used to talk much anyway. still, when compared to like say a year back, i think i have reduced a lot. sometimes i feel there is nothing left to say, sometimes its like, what the hell, what difference does it make if you talk? it goes through one and out another..

i very hardly talk about work outside and now i really don't at all. now i keep listening to a lot of it and i am staying with a lot of colleagues and up until now i have had about 5+ people wanting to talk to me alone. i sure did give them my time of course. all i did was just listen.. coming to think of it, i think this could be the next best job! i din't get paid for it, but in a few years i guess, people would pay!

think about it, its like you get paid for listening to someone and with utmost attention.. now thats a job!

shades, layers and protection...

2010-10-16T17:00:00.000+05:30

a long time back there was a reader who wanted to comment on my blog but wanted to do so anonymously and i was wondering why.. now when i think about it a little more and try to understand why, i see a lot of reasons....

people are seeking layers of protection, and this protection seems to be accumulating over the years.. after a point of time, you realize you are just not yourself.. it's like you are wearing a dress for every situation that you encounter.. the problem is you forget to remove the dress once the curtains are down... you forget to get back to your natural way and continue to stay behind the dyes...

you get into your own vessel, your own private protection, building walls around you that at some point of time when you stop and look back you don't see yourself... all you see is the shades of skin layered one on top of the other.. If you keep living trying to protect yourself, you realize nothing is ever going to touch you, right? and yes, it gets a little messy!

call me an interesting lunatic for i am not saying something that you don't know but try removing those shades and you know it's not easy now... eventually if you happen to rip apart all that was covering you, you feel that you don't know that person standing at the end of the line.. it is you who is standing overshadowed by mistakes, choices and most importantly fear... it's like you have handcuffed yourself to protect your virginity, well, i don't see that working very well... do you?

time and machine!!

2010-10-15T01:04:00.000+05:30

i did think i would write something on my birthday which just whizzed by the hours that were left to spare on an eventful day.. a special one indeed, can't forget to mention the fact that the date stood as 10.10.10.10.10.10 for a second on that day. i will never get to see that one again for sure, don't want to either.

my second time here in this country and my 4th yr outside of India. most of my travel happens around my birthday, don't know why, but it's really strange. first time on the 9th, then on the 10th and then on 8th! wonder where its gonna be next... that's a long way anyway and really don't want to see so far sitting in this country for sure.

someone said, hope you start liking the country so that you don't go back again! yea, i hope i start to but doesn't look like anytime soon. time management is something that i am picking up here.. how much ever i try to look at the bright side of things, i just can't help but notice and make a blog out of it. so excuse me! ok, where was i? yea, time management, it took me close to 3 hrs to wash my clothes whites separately and colors separately. i have been used to certain luxuries in life from a very early age and hence these aspects.. the management part comes in working with the time factor, this is a semi-auto washing machine, ok "supposedly semi-automatic". you have to fill a bucket with water and then pour it in the washing machine, the water from the pipe is like really slow, so you imagine the shower as well.. the best part is the reason that the apartment guy gives.. cos its on 7th floor, can you imagine? alright, the rinsing starts and by then you have to place the bucket for filling up for the next rinse... once the rinse is done, and you turn a knob to allow for water to drain.. i am sure, a kid will take a leak faster than that one.. ;) by the time it drains, your bucket is ready for the next action... and it goes on... always, everyone wants to know the brighter side.. yea, a lot of exercise lifting the bucket and patience.... ;)

sadness in the smile..

2010-10-07T15:14:00.000+05:30

something is wrong, something is not alright... hope the wrong becomes right... relationships! its a twist to everything that you felt was non existent. i could see, the sadness in the smile, the sorrow in the dance and the fear in the obvious...

yet, i was quiet, a hug with a blessing, a blessing wishing happiness for the future, wishing for happiness to show as smiles.. smiles that would last forever..

many a times, everyone wishes this life ended even before the purpose is met, but the reality is there isn't any... green apple twist is really making a difference and its been quiet a while since there has been a post which is under the influence.. stopping here right now but there is one place i need to be, i wish to be for a friend who is stepping in to a new phase of life, but i am afraid i wouldn't be able to make it...

same ears... same blood...

2010-10-02T01:33:00.000+05:30

there are so many things happening at work that my mind keeps randomly saying something which i fail to capture. there are a lot of words that are lost and a lot of them purposely forgotten. right now i am in a phase when i do a lot of watching than thinking or even talking.

things need to just take its due course instead of forcing it to happen. everyone needs a push, not a force to make things work. forcing would mean to do things not out of their free will which has its own rebounds and complications.

recently we had a client visit at work and there were some foreigners trying to assess our company for their future prospects. they did list down things that they wanted us to comply with which we too have been wanting for a long time but of course due to environmental issues it was possibly not done. we had to comply, we din't, and we had to have foreigners come in and ask us to comply with. don't really know what has changed since the time we got our independence... we still want someone from outside to come and tell us to do things we already know of.

where is the problem or should i ask what is the problem or who is the problem? everything starts and ends with us. we make our own problems and keep running around trying to find the right solution... as i try to analyze putting myself in those shoes, shoes that fits and kept aside, i would say, if things need to work, there needs to be authority and with it comes freedom to make the change, solve problems and to make a difference.

a road less travelled...

2010-09-01T16:21:00.000+05:30

every one fears dying alone and most of them work on it trying to avoid it as much as possible... but everyone dies a lone death.. that is unavoidable, and why would people try something that they already know about?

all of a sudden i want nothing... material things don't excite me anymore... a feel to feel freedom and own nothing amongst things that you really called "your own". when you let go, probably the only thing that you have are these little relationships that have kept you afloat.

in a world where saying "no" would only display to the listener as "he thinks he knows too much"... there is a need to be aloof of all these worldly desires and just take a hike.. there are things that you want to talk about, things that you don't want to hear, things which you can't be silent about but more often than not, every now and then some things just speak for themselves...

so here i am, trying to do something without any agenda or a plan to achieve something.. a trip for a road less travelled... a dreamer in a world where you are the creator and you are the destroyer. there is no one to blame but yourself yet you are in bliss...

what makes you....???

2010-08-09T23:00:00.000+05:30

makes you fall
makes you rise

makes time fly
makes you give an all time high

makes you dance when you walk
makes you sing when you talk

makes you get lost in the shadows
makes you fall deep in the darkness

makes you trip onto light
makes all wrong as right

makes trouble difficult to understand
makes us demand

makes you dream all day
makes bitter taste sweet today

makes you look mysterious
makes enough look oblivious

makes you get a chill down your spine
makes you shine

makes you feel funny deep inside
makes you different from all the side

makes you not realize the complicated truth
makes you feel like you are a youth

makes you feel happy to be alive
makes you take the biggest dive

makes hell look like heaven
makes twenty four look like seven

makes you feel horrible for some time
makes you give enough reasons to smile

makes you feel the pain
makes you dance in the rain

makes you give an excuse of dying
makes you give a reason for living

makes you feel the joy
makes you say wow

makes everybody needs it
makes everyone cant live without it

makes yourself look like a fool
makes you want to go back to school

makes life look like an enchanted dream
makes you want to scream

makes you believe there are no seasons
makes you rhyme without any reasons

makes you break your heart
makes you tear yourself apart

makes you want the day to rise
makes you get back on your knees for a price

makes you live in the moment
makes you give all the excitement

makes you live
makes you die

are you giving your share of craze??

2010-07-31T01:31:00.000+05:30

i write when i want to and i don't write because i have to. i really thought i would run out of topics when i started this, but every day experiences is a topic on its own. the other day i happened to watch this movie called inception. it's about getting inside someones mind and implanting an idea or influencing him to do something which is obviously not his own.

we too do this on a regular basis and what is it in comparison to our real life situation? we may not go three dream levels deep but still try to do a similar kind of artwork by talking in a way that is very convincing. i call it "artwork" because its not everyone who has this way to change the person's outlook of what initially was different and make him rewrite his perception.

i dont know about others but i do think when i am sleeping, may be, that is what is known as dreams. my flow of words in my dream is so subtle and channelized that i fail to capture it and blog it when i wake up. it is really a strange feeling to wake up and try to recollect what has been going through your mind and it sometimes feel that the real world is not as good as the dream one.

you do not fear, you own your dream, your world is in it and everything that encompasses it in a surrounding that has nothing but freedom. there are no limits or protocols or rules and even if there are, it is what is defined by your own self.

have you had a dream that felt so real that you never really wished you woke up from it? with every step that you take, would you be sure of what is next? this world with its many illusions looks huge and theatrical to us who among the smallest creatures is trying to crawl with doubt, deception and delusion.

in this world of constant confusion, are you giving your share of craze?

if you want to be heard, use a microphone....

2010-07-17T22:07:00.002+05:30

been through a lot of mess lately and sometimes it so helps not to react and keep your mouth shut. keeping quiet doesn't necessarily mean that you agree nor do you disagree. it's probably nature's way of saying, there is a storm coming! have you heard of the saying "there is always a silence before the storm"? something close to that..

ignorance is bliss and what's even more blissful is to watch some of them open their mouth and talk... as i see things, the more we age, the farther we lose who we are and begin to restrain ourselves for the fear of others. sometimes it's easier to support something blindly than exploring all the options. the problem with some of us is that we are not loud enough to be heard, may be that's not our cup of tea either.

if mind is a problem solver then the tongue is the problem creator, it makes it easier as it does not have bones and it twists and turns the way it wants to. the equation must be balanced and each and everything in this world has a purpose. you need some one to balance the equation and someone to unbalance it. it's like a positive and a negative would make the equation normal.

i have been refrained from driving because my time is not good according to some astrologer and this i happened to tell one of my colleagues to which his immediate reaction was "why did your parents have to go to an astrologer to find that out, they could have asked me and i would have told that for free ;) i couldn't stop laughing to that one..

if you are not aware of any problems, then you can just plug in your ipod, eat food and go to bed. we need to apply our beliefs to solve some real problems. if they're right, it will work. otherwise, you'll encounter new problems and learn from your mistakes. you wake up the next day and realize that life still goes on.. C'est la vie

my tech blog...

2010-07-11T14:47:00.000+05:30

it's been a while since i wanted to start a tech blog and in fact i started one a while back.. but that it took a different turn. so here is my attempt for a long lasting one and hope i don't get too bored with it.

i have named it "Byte Me!" ;) so there it goes ;)

whose life is it anyway??

2010-07-03T22:36:00.000+05:30

as i reiterate my thoughts caught up with the reasons which would be "why", i feel the need to take a step back and relish the period and the state of affairs as it has been. a person asked me "what is it that you loved doing when you were 18?" i really din't have an answer then not more than i do now... but, let me try taking a stroll and see...

hmmm... 18, thats like 12 yrs back.. i'm sure it wouldn't be a gallant task to guess my age by now!!! if you did have a problem calculating, you sure are bad in math!! worse than me i'm sure.. what has not changed from then till now, obviously my marital status... which let me tell you has been under a lot of rumors. the other day i get a message on Facebook congratulating me for my "marriage fixation" if thats what you call it.. my very obvious reply was "how come i din't know about it" 'WINK'

ok, where were we? yes, 18... i guess i would have been just about getting done with school.. wow, that is a long way back!! good ol' times i must say.. most of the things hit me early and 18 was the time i kinda had to figure out what i was supposed to do which to this day i am yet to find out. the very purpose of my existence is what i meant here.. after school and just into college, i wanted to become a CEO probably like BG and write an operating system... oh, BTW, if you are reading my blog for the first time, i am supposed to be a "techie" and not a literary person...

i wanted to and i guess even now i try to be perfect in whatever i do.. which includes my highly contagious OCD too.. which is a boon as well as a bane.. yea, yea, i can hear you say "JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE"

what i wanted to be then is sure a mystery and a lot of people say you shouldn't forget your 16th birthday... well, i really don't remember.. i guess i was too busy thinking of something else i kinda missed that one! may be if i get to remember it, i will put it up here... not just 16, but what ever that comes to my mind.. if someone comes up to me and asks "why did u do what you did then?" i have a very good answer for my friend.. "the devil made me do it" 'WINK'

one quick question, if there were no god, there would be no atheists... so does that mean that the people who call themselves "atheists" accept there is god? ;)

until next time... Bee Tee W, whose life is it anyway????? "GIGGLES"