Mind of a Runner

Why not?

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 14:04:00 +0000

A few weeks ago my husband sent me this article on Title IX, which is celebrating it's 40th birthday this spring. Side note: regularly sending me links to articles I may find interesting is just one those cute endearing things I've come to love about him. When I opened the link, my first thought was, oh, another boring article on Title IX. I started to skim it anyway and what I found was quite the opposite. This article, focusing on the change and meaning, for some reason really forced me to reassess the role sport has had in my life and think about how different things would have been for me without this tiny little piece of legislation.

As a former college athlete and professional collegiate athletics administrator, I am very familiar with Title IX and am proud to be one of the millions whose life was forever changed as a daughter of this educational and athletic revolution. I consider myself so fortunate to have never known a time where I felt like I couldn't express my competitive side by kicking someone's butt (in a organized and civilized fashion, of course).

This article made me think back to what it was like growing up with two brothers and wanting to do everything they could do, better. I remember a specific spring/summer that my father coached my older brother's t-ball team, the A's. The little league organization had a separate softball league, providing opportunities for girls, but I knew a few female classmates who were playing t-ball on the "boys" teams and tried every angle to get my dad to let me play. At a critical point in the season, the A's were short a player and I found myself almost in tears begging my dad to let me play. Of course he said no, and I was crushed when another boy's younger brother who happened to be my age/in my class was asked to join the team and fill the spot. Damn you Chris Kebler!! If there's ever a way to motivate me, tell me I can't do something...

I was definitely a "tomboy" (how did that word even originate?) running around the neighborhood with messy hair and legs covered with cuts and bruises from climbing trees, rolling down hills and playing countless hours of tag. But thinking back on my earliest competitive opportunities (apart from not being able to play T-ball) the only restriction I felt was my own skill, ability or willingness to push myself to be the best. It wasn't whether or not I was allowed and for that I feel fortunate. I was able to be recruited by a Division I program, be on scholarship and have a college experience which forever changed me and the course of my life. Athletics for me has always been a main outlet for self expression.

So, in recognition of the 40th anniversary of Title IX, a special thank you to the women whose determination helped pave the path for so many of us who have been forever changed by sport. We still have a lot of work to do, but we wouldn't be where we are without the women who asked and continue to ask, "why not?".

The Lottery, a Game of Chance!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:13:00 +0000

The message I was waiting for, I think..

Dear Runner:
Congratulations! Your registration was selected in the lottery and you are now registered for the 33rd annual Blue Cross Broad Street Run on May 6, 2012.

Looks like I better start training!

Be still my heart

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:24:00 +0000

I took a quick break from work today to venture over to the new REI in soho to inquire about returning a pair of winter boots which unfortunately made my feet very unhappy. (Side note: REI has a fantastic return policy for members. I recommend signing up!) Anyway, I was trying on a few different pair of boots and from across the shoe wall a pair of gorgeous Brooks running shoes caught my eye. I originally thought they were racing flats, but as I examined them they seemed to have way more stability than a racing flat and are marketed for training. Now, I've been out of the running gear loop for a while, but I'm well aware of the bare foot running craze and the tragic aftermath of everyone showing off their ten toes. The shoes were the Brooks pureflow and they not only made my heart skip a beat but made my feet feel absolutely AMAZING (esp. considering #myworkshoesareunkind).

Brooks New PureProject - PureFlow

Here's how they are described on the Brooks site, "Experience a joy ride for the senses when lightweight design meets killer comfort in the PureFlow. For runners who love the feel of free feet but count on cushion to go the distance, this shoe strikes the perfect balance. Breathable on top, flexible underneath, and altogether awesome looking." I don't know enough about the pureflow to judge how they would hold up over the long haul, but yes, they do look awesome. I like where Brooks is going with the whole PureProject. I'm definitely looking into this more, and I would love to hear from anyone who is training in them, I would love to know what they think.

Run Happy, my friends!

Broken?

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 20:18:00 +0000

Did you ever feel broken? Like an aged, run down, lesser version of your old unstoppable self? I've never been one to buy into the idea of feeling sorry for yourself. I mean, where does it get you? But feeling like your options are limited, your resources are restricted and you basically just can't fix yourself is such a horrible feeling. I don't want to be filed away with the quitters or sent to the mysterious island of misfit toys, but finding yourself in this type of predicament and working to redefine yourself is so incredibly challenging. It use to be so easy being me. ;)

Having recently given birth to my first child, part of me thinks that I should be elated with joy over the new role of motherhood. And that this joy should trump any disappointment, fears other ("selfish") short comings. I mean, who needs to work to redefine themselves when they relentlessly keep trying to get their infant son to respond to, "mama"? Don't get me wrong, my son is the most important thing in my life right now and that does bring me great joy. But I can't help but long for, at the very least, the time I thought I didn't have prior to being a parent. I would do so much with this minimal time. Hindsight is.. well, need I say it? Being a parent doesn't directly relate back to being "broken" but in many ways has created a huge obstacle in my redefining efforts. Having a child just threw another 5mth/20lb/26inch (and growing fast!) element into the mix.

You may be wondering, where is she going with all of this? Patience! I'm getting there.

Transitions are tough, yet each and every one of us has to go through them. They keep us on our toes and challenge us to redefine how we perceive ourselves, our environments -- our lives. Through most of my transitions, I have always looked for what I would best describe as "angels". I'm not an overly religious person, but I do very much believe in human kindness and
following rainbows (in the figurative sense ;) ). Overall, I would say I've been rather lucky in life and have been fortunate to be surrounded by fantastic friends, been offered wonderful opportunities, found love, found love again and experienced great adventures. I also now have a son who is so beautiful that I often find myself wondering how (again) I got to be this lucky. I could never have done it alone. I have met many "angels".

Through the ups and downs of life, though all of my life transitions to date, I can't say that I always had a clear sense of purpose. Most of the time, I don't. I try my best to take the good with the bad. After all, as my mama told me, "that's just life: it's both good and bad". When things are tough, I break down but ultimately remind myself, tomorrow is a new day. But there's just this one hurdle that I can't seem to surmount, one transition that has me feeling stuck, one predicament for which I can't find the right "angel". And that is the issue of the physical pain that has been plaguing me for the past four years and has stopped me from training/racing. FOUR YEARS! Has it honestly been that long? I have to fight tears thinking about it.

The positive outcomes of this crap situation is that I have become a stronger swimmer, I really enjoy cycling and power yoga rocked my pre-parenthood world. But now, five months postpartum (and five pounds lighter than I before I got knocked up - go me!), I want nothing more than to take my 45mins of me time and hit the pavement. However I find myself in more pain now than I was right before getting preggo. More pain that I was when I was carrying around 30 lbs of extra weight. The pain has tightened up my entire left side of my body, from my left sesamoid to left neck. I want it to disappear. I want to get back out there. I want to not feel (physically) broken.

As a competitive athlete and fire sign, I pride myself on my passion. My college coach once sat me down and told me I would never be as talented as some of the "stars" on our team, but that I had a lot of HEART. Some people would have taken offense to this "Rudy" type of pep-talk, but I take pride in the fact that I put my heart in to what I do. And the best way to fire me up is to tell me that I can't do something or that I'll never be the star. I PR-ed in most of my events that year.

But I'm losing hope that I'll get through this transition and come out better for it. I want to push through, but is my passion and persistence enough to go on? Will another "angel" come meet me and point me in the right/life altering direction? Am I looking to hard or not looking enough? I haven't by any means completely given up, but I just can't help feeling a little broken, restricted and directionless in this department.

I will run for food!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:15:00 +0000

Let's just say I was inspired..

The Hungry Man Marathon may not be NYC's premiere running event of the season, but will it will cause a few runners to salivate none-the-less. This event is taking place later today in the city. Runners in the form of five-person teams will scour the city to hunt down 26 participating restaurants and 2 taco stands in search of a souvenir/proof of their find. The bonus comes after each team crosses the finish line which is when the 60+ participants will get to sample food from most if not all of the participating restaurants. A fellow runner friend of mine helping the West Side YMCA to run/organize this event, which is in it's first year of existence. I'm sure it's going to be a huge success!

You're lying if you can't agree with me that one of the best parts of being a runner is getting to do some extra "fueling".. even better when it's post race!

Best of luck to the Hungry Man participants. Run fast and eat up!

- TRC :)

"Dear Runner (LT) Chick"- Response (original msg in post below)

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 04:19:00 +0000

Here's my response to a fellow runner chick from Austin, TX (see original message in post below)...

Hi Leslie,

I often think about my abandoned blog and it makes me so sad, like i left my baby in a dumpster or something...sigh... (sorry, inappropriate reference). Sorry that I haven't posted any updates on my recovery in what seems like ages. I guess you could say that I've pretty down about things. Running is our lifeblood and it gets tricky sometimes without that regular outlet... very tricky.

So, here I am 5 months post op, wondering if the tear in my labrum was actually really the cause of my pain. I'm back to full strength and am getting around town just as well as I did prior to surgery, but as for running, I haven't really been making the progress I'd like to. For instance I ran outside for 20mins last night and it was like the highlight of my week. My chest was burning since I'm royally out of running shape at the moment, but every step gives me hope of getting back to where I once was.

It sounds as though, like me, you have quite a few different things going on. Without looking back to see what I wrote on my blog, I can tell you that I've come to find out (after surgery) that I have some pretty serious hamstring tendinitis. The whole idea with going in the direction of surgery was to fix my labral tear in order to then properly treat the tendinitis (with PT). However, we're still in a touch and go phase and I still haven't found anyone who will talk to me in more than generalities. SO FRUSTRATING! But for the most part, my PT and physician (who are working together on this) have remained positive, but seemed stumped on the day to day - up & down of my progress. One day, I feel fantastic (meaning, I can walk and sit comfortably with no pain or tightness) and then I push a little further with running or some other form of exercise and then the next thing I know the throbbing, achy pain is back. I've come to terms with fact that there are quite a few things going on in there... and unfortunately, I didn't get the right help/treatment five or six years ago when the first signs of this started. I did have a labral tear, but I also have hamstring tendinitis and I think there's some piriformis (nerve) stuff going on in there too. So, I know it's still a long road of treatment and patience ahead.

So, (much like my doctor) I don't have a clear answer for you, but definitely go for an MRI and skip the regular MRI and go for the MRI arthrogram where they inject you with dye. This will better show what's going on in there (my tear didn't show on a regular MRI). As I mentioned before in my blog, some people have labral tears and are completely asymptomatic. So, definitely do your research and find someone who is well studied in this injury. I found the Runners World Discussion Board on Injuries and specifically the LONG thread on Labral tears to be very helpful. You'll also probably see me on there if you go through this past year's posts. You'll come to see that there are many of us out there with similar symptoms. It's a very poorly diagnosed injury and there are many people out there grasping at straws to find out what is going on.

Hit me up when ever you want to vent or trade symptoms. I could talk about this for hours (while I'm not out running).

But don't get me wrong, I still have hope and WILL get back out there... hopefully soon!

Take care and best of luck to you!!

Denise

Dear Runner (Labral Tear) Chick

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 04:10:00 +0000

A message I received @ about five months post op...

Hey there!

I found your blog googling for "labral tears and runners" or something like that.

First, how is your recovery from surgery going?

Second, thank you SO much for your blog. I cried and cried while reading it. I am still in the diagnosis phase of my injury, but I started having issues in September 2008. I'm also a long distance runner, and was training for my 7th marathon and hoping to (finally) BQ, which didn't happen since I couldn't do my race. I had some hip clicking before that, but I could still run, no problem. Then I was doing speed work one night, and all of a sudden I couldn't raise my left leg up like I wanted to. It just felt impossible. From there, I have been to (so far) two doctors, one physician's assistant, a chiropractor and a PT. I have had an MRI of my hip, pelvis and back (all came back completely clean). I was on steroids for a week (nothing). Currently I'm taking Lyrica which is meant to help with my neural pathways because one doctor thinks I have meralgia paresthetica. I've tried running, not running, yoga, core work, tons of PT, etc.

Then last week my chiropractor said, I think you may have a torn labrum. I hadn't seen the chiro since January, so he was taking a fresh look at things (i.e., he had said completely different things in the past). I went to my PT, and he was like nope, that's not it. He wanted me to do a nerve test b/c they think something's affecting my femoral nerve. Then I went back to the chiro today, and he said the same thing about the labrum.

So I went back to work and started my googling. When I found your blog, it was like the biggest "aha!" The first post I read was after you had already had your surgery, so I went backwards to see how you were diagnosed. It all sounded SO familiar. All of the appointments, all of the treatment, all the different diagnoses. All of the frustration. With all the different diagnoses I've received, I've always thought, "That might just very well be what I have." When I read your blog I was like, that's me! That's exactly what I have. My pain does not present in my hamstring like yours (it's more directly in the hip and will radiate down my quad).

So now I've written this incredibly long email to a stranger, but I just wanted to tell you thank you so very much for your blog. I am more convinced than ever that this is what I'm dealing with, and now I feel like I can be more insistent on getting to the bottom of this. And as much as I hate to know that anyone has gone through what I've been through (and yes I agree with you, things can be worse), it's so reassuring to hear from someone else who really knows what this whole thing is like. At times, I think people have even questioned if anything is wrong with me at all.

Please let me know how you are doing. Recovering from the surgery makes me nervous. And I, like you, already feel like I've had to sit a fair amount of time out. I missed my marathon in December and was hoping to do some trail runs this summer, but if I require surgery then that will probably be out. I'm curious to know what all you can do, when you can't run. I've been doing yoga (since earlier this year when my mileage became too pathetic to feel like I was still a runner). It sounded like you've done yoga too, so I'm hoping I can at least get back to that somewhat quickly.

Anyhow, if you've read this much, you're amazing. If I do hear back from you, once I get my diagnosis for certain, I will let you know. There's a pessimistic side of me (from all of this) that still worries maybe this isn't it, but my mind is probably 99% made up, and that's saying a lot at this point.

Thanks again,
Leslie (Austin, TX)

Rain drops keep falling on my head!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:07:00 +0000

Since I'm still on my crutches, I certainly could have used one of these today! This guy looks like a total dork. My hat umbrella would most definitely need to have been much bigger. This one doesn't even look like it would keep his shoulders dry. My question is, when you close it, wouldn't it cover your face?

Yesterday, I had my second PT visit in the morning and first post-op appt. with Dr. Bharam in the afternoon. Both seemed to go smoothly. Bharam seemed to think I was making great progress. He reminded me that since I'm not the "typical" patient for this procedure, that he and my PT would be keeping a "close eye" on me. I had already gotten scolded (at PT) for showing up with only one crutch (whoops!). What can I say? I was feeling stronger and thought it would be more manageable to have one arm free. ugh... oh well, back to two it is (at least for one more week).

I can stand and walk a bit on my leg pain free, but aches and pains seem to be popping up in other places (apart from my left hip). I'm so happy with the progress that I've made so far (and please don't get me wrong), but yesterday I just felt so sad about it all. I was just so overwhelmed with sadness last night as I crutched home in the dark. I started to feel the dreaded hamstring pain which is what got me to where I am right now. And that combined with all the other pain (from compensating) just started to get to me. Both PT and Dr. Bharam's packed with patients (I suppose due to the holiday coming up) and not that I felt rushed, but I just began to feel a bit like a guinea pig or a lab rat in that some things about this whole procedure/recovery are still so vague. I know I have to stay positive, it's just been difficult to do. I don't like being in such a vulnerable position; having to have people help me with things and tell me what I can and can't do. It just doesn't suit me. I guess it's good in a way because it's definitely slowed me down for a bit, but I just wish that my anticipated outcome was a bit more clear. At least then, it would be easier to keep my chin up.

Maybe I just need to go back and read my posts on postiive thinking. ;)

What causes a Labral Tear?

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:45:00 +0000

Because so many people have been asking me this question, I thought I'd post it. The following is information on Labral Tears courtesy of www.hiplabraltear.com:

What Causes the Hip Labral Tear?
Almost 80% cases of hip labral tear have no known direct cause. Tears may occur with a slow progression in human life. The known caused factors include degeneration, injuries, osteoarthritis and problematic recurring activities and movements on hip joint, may cause hip labral tear. Many osteoarthritis patients suffer from hip labral tears (acetabular labral tear). Because hip fractures may tear their labrum. However the contribution osteoarthritis to the development of the hip labral tear is still a controversial issue within the medical society. On the other hand, majority of the physicians in this field believe that there is a close relationship between osteoarthritis and labral tears.

The cause of hip labrar tears (acetabular labral tears) are
Capsular laxity
Femoral acetabular (acetabulum: concave surface of the pelvis, it is the socket of the hip joint) impingement (impingement syndrome that affects the hip joint)
Dysplasia (pathologic abnormality in maturation of cells within a tissue)
Trauma
Degeneration
Bony pinching
There is a theory that supports the idea that the cause of hip labral tear is because of femoroacetabular impingement (FAI) which generally occurs two forms; pincer and cam. FAI is a disease where the bones of your hip joint come too close and touch tissue or cause too much friction. Thus femoroacetabular impingement is associated with articular cartilage damage and labral tears and as a consequence a hip arthritis may arise at a younger age than usually takes place.

Physical activities that involve force adduction of the hip joint in association with rotation in either direction be likely to worsen the pain.

The length of the leg is also an issue. If one leg is shorter than other leg, this may affect your walking and may put pressure on your labrum. There are specially designed pads
in your shoes to support you for a proper walking.

Recovery is still going well and I can bare weight on the leg, but I'm trying not to as much as possible. I'm up to 80 degrees on the CPM machine (started at 40 degrees), so I'm at my max already with no pain! I have my post-op appt tomorrow at 2pm, so I'm excited to get feedback from my doctor on my progress. My PT homework is going well and I've also been able to ride the upright bike again for 20mins pain free. I'm excited about the progress I've made so quickly and hope it still keeps moving forward at that pace. :)

I'm too sexy for my crutches!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:01:00 +0000

Good morning, party people!

Here is a picture of me before my first outdoor crutch-about on Wednesday night
(day after surgery).
PS: I look kind of crazy.

Recovery is going well so far and now that I'm an "old pro" at my daily post-op routine, I'm kicking it up a notch to add some new homework (courtesy of my PT duo of Ben Gelfand and Rebecca Kalb at STAR Physical Therapy). My first session of PT was last night and I was able to do the upright bike for 20mins (very very slowly)!

I'm amazed at how much stronger I feel every day. I was crutchin' around like a fool yesterday (to/from PT) and am paying for it a bit this morning. My leg is a bit sore and so are my arms. Oddly, my right glute (opposite leg) is super tight. I think because I've been using my right leg so much more for stability. So, I have to be careful not to hurt anything else while compensating the next few weeks.

I just want to thank all my friends and family for their thoughts and well-wishes this week. It's meant a great deal to me to have so many friends and fellow runners so concerned with my recovery. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

And so the come back mission is on, baby! Stay tuned!

We All Need Somebody To Lean On

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:16:00 +0000

Whether it's through blogging or posting on discussion boards, our resources and ability to lean on other runners/athletes for support is infinite. When I was at my most heightened point of frustration with my injury, I turned to a Runners World discussion board for support. It was a few days after my initial diagnosis when I found one of the longest and largest discussions in under the "injury" section titled "torn labrum in hip". The discussion was initiated in September of 2004 and has about 2,098 posts and over 110,000 views. Of course, I have not read the entire discussion, but I have followed the stories of a few of the more frequent runners who have posted. I have also posted there, seeking advice.

When my PT and Doctor gave me the nod for surgery, my PT (in the presence of my Doctor) told me that I would be "underwhelmed" with the recovery. So, I had myself taking tomorrow (surgery day) and Wednesday off with the idea that I might be able to return to work on Thursday. However, I'm starting to think that taking a few more days off might be a better option after reading a response from another runner who has gone through the same surgery. I have posted his suggestions to me (from the discussion board) below,

.

TheRunnerChick, I live in NYC so I can give you some advice. The CPM machine only bends your knee and hip to a certain degree determined by the doctor. Although it does look a bit crazy the motion it does is very simple. While you should be able to strap yourself into it you won't be able to lift it so someone will have to set it up for you. I did wear a hip brace. It's not too bad. THe first week really is the hardest...is there someone who can help you for the first week or two? At least drop by and do basic household things and help you out?
.

As for getting around NYC: I assume you have a week or two to just rest. You will need it most likely. You definitely do not want to go crutching around NYC in the first week even if you're feeling good. One, you don't want to overdo it and two if you are in a crowded area you definitely do not want anyone bumping into you. I would not attempt the subway on crutches. Wait until you are off of them...just not worth the risk of hurting yourself especially if you're by yourself. You could probably manage the bus, but it's hard because although you are on crutches you still really have to be careful not to overdo it and prolong your hip recovery. I took taxis. Yes, expensive, but I wasn't taking them often and it was the best way for me to get around. I am in school and I live about 3 blocks from school so I would go there and back. When I needed PT, doctor's appts, etc...I took cabs. My groceries were delivered from Fresh Direct and I had roommates in and out if I needed something. I did have to do a lot on my own and it's struggle, but hang in there, take it slow, and know that you will be frustrated at some points, but it will work out. Let me know if you have any other questions. Good luck!!

So maybe my original plan needs to be tweaked just a bit?? I suppose I won't really know what I this recovery is going to be like until I'm at that point, but I think the advice of "taking it slow" is something we can all benefit from when on a come back mission (like me).

Anyway, just wanted to promote sharing (again). I plan to continue posting on the Runners World discussion board as well as my blog to keep everyone posted on my progress. I promise not to make every post about me (because that's boring). If you know other runners who could benefit from more information on this injury, forward them to my blog or to the discussion boards on runners world. I know there are other helpful resources out there too, so if you would like to share them, please add a comment to this post.

Godspeed, mighty runners!

- TRC

Oh, that's hot!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 01:04:00 +0000

So, it's four days until surgery and I really wanted to show off all of my flashy (post-op) accessories!

READY OR NOT....

Accessory # 1: The (deluxe) Bledsoe Philippon- Post-Op Hip Brace:

Oh yea, baby! You know you want one!

Accessory #2: The (incredibly comfy looking) foot positioning brace

As "Vivian" from the medical supply company told me (in her life long smoker sounding/native new yorker accent) ,

"if you have any friends with crazy fetishes, now's the time to invite them ov-ah"

Wow! lol!

Accessory #3: The Knee Continuous Passive Motion (CPM) Machine

I'll be riding this baby (the CPM machine) four hours a day!

Sorry boys, I don't think the chick's included. :)

Oh, and there's so much more! Just wait until you see my ice machine! wooooowhoooo!

I'd show you, but I just wouldn't want to make you too jealous! :)

Running in the Rain!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:23:00 +0000

I'm heading up to Central Park tonight to do a short (ceremonial) fair well run with RUNNYC! It's been so long since I've gone up to run in the park and it looks like this will be my final chance to do so before surgery next week. I'm a little bit bummed because it's raining here in NYC, but as my grammar school track coach, Mr. Guano always said, "It never rains on a runner". :)

See ya in CP!

Free Ballin' !

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:45:00 +0000

Just in case you've been in sort of a cave (as I have been) for the past 3-5 days and haven't seen this, I thought you might enjoy a laugh.

If anyone can tell me whether they figured out if this was staged or not, please let me know. Real or fake, it's still mighty hysterical!

Have a spectacular week ... and remember to "be well and stay happy!" :)

PDF Champions Marathon Team - Spots Available!!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 15:16:00 +0000

PDF Champions Marathon Team

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Marathon A-listers... such amateurs!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:44:00 +0000

I was reading this article a few minutes ago and it got me thinking, why do we think it's such a big deal when A-listers run the NYC marathon? Well, I should actually rephrase that, because I don't think many New Yorkers actually care, but why does everyone else get hyped up about it. Yes, it's so very nice of them to run for charity and to also spend 4-hours surrounded by "normal" people, but really, why all the hype? What makes them different than the other thousands of runners out there shedding sweat and tears to raise money or just achieve a personal goal?

Although I must say that I found Actor Ryan Reynolds' post marathon comment quite humerous. After crossing the finish line, he told the Daily News, "I am going to allow three to four hours for my scary marathon face to go away and then I am going to eat my body weight in raw dough"

Huh! That's a heck of a lot of dough!! But let's get serious, only an amateur would care about their "scary marathon face". The rest of us just embrace it and go get drunk to numb the pain and to forget about how silly we look walking down the street. :)

But I am feelin' him on the dough comment. Personally, I dream of Philly soft pretzels after finishing a marathon. yum!!!!!!

I Feel it All !

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:45:00 +0000

NYC MARATHON 2008

Wow! What a show yesterday!

It may have been a bit chilly for spectators, but what an unbelievably perfect day for distance running!

Watching a marathon (especially in NYC) is truly magical. It's so hard not to let the passion that flows from over 37,000 hopeful, energetic, and enduring marathoners permeate your soul. It's incredible! And there's just something about the buzz of this city that puts the icing on the cake.. and make's you "feel it all". :)

Congrats to all the 2008 finishers!!!

All Aboard!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:19:00 +0000

Where will you be at 4:45am the morning of November 2, 2008? If you are planning to join the other 40,000 some people running the 2008 New York City Marathon tomorrow morning, you'll most likely be getting ready to hit the road to get on over to Staten Island.

And if you're planning to make your way to Staten Island via the Staten Island Ferry, you may just see my bright and smiley face at the ferry terminal. I've signed up to volunteer tomorrow to help as an escort and "unloading marshal". I'm not certain at this point if I'll be actually on the ferry or just at the terminal (Staten Island side), but I'm pumped to help out in any way I can!

Hope to see you there!

Best of luck to all our NYC 2008 runners!

PS: Remember to turn your clocks back tonight!

"Favorite Thing" Fridays - COME BACKS!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:47:00 +0000

Everybody loves a come-back!

So, now that I've answered the question, "Is she still alive?", what about you? Are you still out there? :)

Wow! Well, its certainly been a while since my last post. I just got increasingly difficult to keep posting since I felt that most of my posts just focused on my hip/hammy drama. And since in the last (almost) two months, I haven't really been doing too much running and nothing had changed with my injury, well, there seemed to be little I wanted to write about.

Watching everyone gear up for marathon season has been so difficult. I'm okay with not running one this fall, but I'm not okay with the fact that I still can't run.... well, can't run fast and frequent like I normally would be. Also, my new career as a medical circus poodle has consumed my life and temporarily sucked the passion out of my very being. ...and yes, I have become a bit of a drama queen!! However, things in the circus poodle realm did take a bit of a twist a few weeks ago. Let me explain, but let me start from where I left off in the summer...

Since my labrum tear diagnosis in early August, I have been on a steady recommended diet of slow, flat, infrequent running. I have complimented this insufficient meal with a few servings a week of the elliptical and swimming. As you may recall, following my diagnosis my Orthopedist, Dr. Bharam said that he wanted me to go to physical therapy because he did not feel comfortable operating on me until he was certain that my symptoms could not be fixed by PT treatment. In his words, "I treat patients and symptoms, not MRI films". I found this very honorable, but frustrating since, in my mind, it meant that the saga would continue. He sent me to his "go-to" Physical Therapist, Ben Gelfand (owner to S.T.A.R. Physical Therapy) in midtown who spent a decent amount of time assessing me and asking questions. He prescribed two weeks of VERY slow and flat and short (could this get worse) running. Ben had a great sense of humor and I like his action plan, so I was content with backing off and logging my progress. After two weeks, I e-mailed my progress to him, which really wasn't all too promising. After a few weeks of phone tag and a long over due conversation, I was set up with an appointment to meet both Dr. Bharam and Ben together at one place.

Finally, judgement day arrived (or at least that's what if felt like) and I met with both Bharam and Gelfand to discuss my fate. After another evaluation and a significant conversation about my progress (or lack there of), they decided that surgery to repair my labrum tear would be the next best option. And so there you have it... I'll be going in for the procedure next month with the hopes that my symptoms have been related to this injury or that they will be better treated by first fixing this deficiency in my hip.

When I first met with Ben he promised me the Broad Street Run in 2009. And not just a "you can finish" the race, but a " you can race the race". When we met to discuss the surgery, Ben assured me that I would be underwhelmed with the recovery. A few days on crutches, a few weeks until I was returning to activity and then a few months (4-5) until I was out running.

Oddly, I had peculiar dream last night which concerned my recovery. I dreamt I already had the surgery and had just woken up in the recovery room. To my surprise, Coach Cane was in the next gurney and he had just had the same surgery. After saying hello and exchanging the normal niceties (of course) I jumped to my feet and started walking. Everything felt great! So great that I was like, see ya Coach Cane and I went in the next room where there was an indoor pool and I started swimming a few laps. ha! I mean Ben did in fact tell me I'd be underwhelmed by the recovery! Anyway, my hip and hammy started to hurt of course and so I went back to tell Coach Cane who immediately said, I told you so. ha! ...That Coach Cane, such a wise man!

So...back to reality and now it's count down to surgery day. I'm back bloggin' for now.. but the true comeback starts November 18th. Stay tuned!

"Courage + believe = life"

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 19:36:00 +0000

John Challis, the teenager from western PA who became nationally known the past few months, died of liver and lung cancer Tuesday afternoon at his family's home in Freedom Township. He was only 18, but he passed away with a sense of accomplishment.

John's story is truly inspirational. He had an amazing way of looking at the world and was able to touch so many people and change their perspective on life. I wrote about him a few times earlier this year after seeing him on TV at a Penguins game. He was an amazing young man and his story touched my heart. Hopefully he has touched yours as well.

"Life ain't about how many breaths you take. It's what you do with those breaths" - John Challis

Circus poodle

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:28:00 +0000

Over the past month, progress on my hamstring issue has been minimal while I worked to sort out a few billing issues with my health insurance (again). I'm not going to lie, a few weeks were also spent vacationing and trying to forget about it all. But this week I got the results of my third MRI and met up with "Orthopedist #3" again to go over them.

Basically, I got a call yesterday from my Doctor's office saying the results were in and that I needed to make an appt. immediately. All they told me was that they had found a "small tear" and I needed to discuss it with the Doc. Since this past MRI was a (painful) arthrogram, the focus was more on my hip/hip joint rather than the hamstring muscles. So when I got this call, all I could think was, finally a diagnosis!

Before my appt this afternoon I couldn't hold myself back from googling away to try and find runners with similar symptoms who were also found to have a labral tear. Just in doing a simple search, "hip labral tear and hamstring pain", I found Tim here who seems to have similar symptoms as me (sans the catching/clicking in the hip). Although thoroughly depressing, I felt somewhat relieved to finally know what was causing this pain. So, it seemed to me (at this point/earlier today), all I had to do was go speak with my Doctor about what I should do next.

However things took an unforeseen twist when I got to my Doctor's office. He showed me the films and confirmed the small tear in my labrum cartilage, but then explained to me how the symptoms for a typical hip labral tear really do not include hamstring pain. Considering that I do not seem to have the normal symptoms for this type of injury, he was concerned that this was not what was bothering me. He explained further that he "treats patients and not MRI films".
He mentioned that I could be experiencing displaced pain, but that basically "he really does not know". He confirmed that the tear will not heal on it's own and "could" get worse (yes, "COULD"). He also said that he could operate, but since my symptoms are "displaced", there is no guarantee that surgery would help the pain I'm experiencing.

So, what he suggested was sending me to a Physical Therapist for another evaluation and strength test. He said that after "his PT" evaluates me he will have a better idea of how to proceed. Well, damn-it if this news didn't make me well up with tears... again. I'm so fucking sick of this (sorry to cuss)! I'm in pain most days of my life and have cut my running back to a pathetic amount. If my hamstring looks fine but I have a tear in my labrum.. well, let's just get on with things. Let's just fix it if it won't fix itself. I'm so tired of whining about this and I just want to get out there and run, but I don't want things to get worse and I'm frustrated by the worsening pain and my inablity to run as fast and as strong as I know I can. I'm losing fitness and friends. ha! okay, maybe the last part was an exageration, but my friends are all out there running. I watch race after race go by.. and it plain out stinks!

But I guess I have no choice but to keep jumping through hoops until I find an answer.

Mighty or Mousey?

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:16:00 +0000

Did anyone else read this article, Couch Mouse to Mr. Mighty by Pills Alone ? The idea of a normal, healthy person popping GW1516 so they don' t have to get off the couch and workout is about as silly as a mouse who is dresses like Superman and has super powers which allow him to fly and defend the world from crime and disruption. Seriously people?!?!?

To be honest, I actually love the idea of mighty mouse, he's just so cute! But the idea of GW1516 or Aicar for use other than to help individuals in poor health (i.e. diabetes), I don't like so much.

Now if science could just redirect focus to engineering real life mighty mice to help stop the evil in the world, well, that would just seem like better use of their time. But that's just my opinion, I suppose. I guess some people might not like millions of flying mice with bulging muscles and capes defending us from crime. oh well.

Btw, the runner chick still alive! muhahahahaha! ...She's a bit more tan these days and still only running a few days a week on a bum leg. However, I'm happy to report, that she has continued to work hard to strengthen her own muscles the natural way ....and hasn't resorted to pill popping at this point (thank goodness!).

have a great weekend!!!

Afghan Female Olympian Missing

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:22:00 +0000

I know this is last week's news, but I'm just catching up to speed. I wanted to share this story with anyone who also maybe missed it last week or who is just interested in how it continues to develop. It saddens me when I realize that we still live in a world where not all female athletes are supported and encouraged to excel in sports and take pride in such accomplishments.

Mehboba Ahdyar, a 19-year-old track runner who competes in the 800 and 1,500 meters disappeared from the training center she was staying at last week. Her luggage and passport were gone and rumor has it that she is seeking asylum in Norway. She had been training on an International Olympic Committee (IOC) scholarship. The IOC scholarship program assists athletes from smaller, under -developed nations.

With the 2008 Summer Olympics less than a month away, it seems as though there is little hope of her participation this year. The Afghan Olympic body, Sayed Mahmoud Zia Dashti, said Ahdyar had suffered a leg injury and was receiving treatment in Italy. The linked article quotes Sayed Mahmoud Zia Dashti saying, "I can confirm that she has injured her leg and that she has will not participate in the Beijing Olympics and that her family in Italy is taking care of her,". However as of last week, no one had heard directly from Mehboba Ahdyar as to her where abouts.

This more recent article states that Mehboba Ahdyar has been in contact with her family she in formed them that she was seeking asylum because of fears for her life. She has received death threats on her mobile phone from Muslim extremists who object to a Muslim woman participating in sports. The article further reads that "...earlier this year, her neighbors called the police, claiming she was a prostitute -- a charge that landed her father in jail until the matter was cleared up."

And to add another twist, I found this article which states that her parents are "reportedly" under pressure from members of the Afghan Olympic Committee who are telling them that they risk being thrown in jail if Mehboba does not come back to participate in the games.

This sounds like an awful situation and my heart just breaks for this poor young girl and her family. Being able to represent your country in the Olympics should be a joyous event for everyone, but this is clearly not a joyous experience for Mehboba and her famly.

AWESOME!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:31:00 +0000

I can totally get through 3 miles. :)
Almost Famous is one of my favorite movies!
What a great event! Go Nike!
LOVE IT!

.
"The only true currency in this bankrupt world...
is what you share with someone else when you're uncool. "
- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous

MRI - Arthrogram - Postponed!

noreply@blogger.com (DFerg) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:58:00 +0000

Not that I was really looking forward to having dye injected into my hip (sounds lovely huh?), but I was very interested to see what this image would show. It seems that I will not have that opportunity, well at least not right now. As it turns out, the price of the Arthrogram was about $3,000! This is about $2,400 more than what the same imaging center told me it would cost the day before (when I called to find out). Plus, that price doesn't include the x-rays I'm schededule to get done as well.

Interesting how no one seems to know what they are talking about when it comes to medical billing and insurance. It seems like everyone just guestimates and hopes they are right. I imagin the United Health Care - customer service center as a whole floor of cubicals filled with customer service reps all sitting around chearping in the phone their best bullsh*t guestimates. With the corporate moto hanging on a banner over head, "Do your best to make sure the customer thinks you know what the hell you're talking about!" or "when all else fails, talk in circles until they give up".

Anyway, after going back and forth (on the phone) with my Doctor's office and the "peach" of a lady behind the glass at the imaging center, I decided to reschedule at a later time. I need to first figure out how I will pay for this.

It just frustrating knowing that I could shell out $800+ for MRIs and x-rays and have them turn out normal. Is that worth the peace of mind? I'm still trying to figure that out. Seriously, what do people do that have SERIOUS medical issues. On a scale of severity, my issue probably wouldn't even qualify as a "2" out of 10... and yet I want to scream.

I left the imaging center and sat by the east river watching a few trash barges and a couple yahts move up and down the river. I watched the happy runners trotting along the river path below and along the edge of Roosevelt Island on the other side of the river. I sat there for about 20mins hoping no one would come over and question why I was bawling like a big fat baby and that's when it started to rain, hard. nice. Anyway, the rain was enough to make me laugh at the entire situation. And then I started my trek back to the subway. Btw, who puts an MRI imaging center 3/4 of a mile away from any subway? idiots! This thought made me laugh too. The walk gave me enough time in the rain to notice that my leg hurt just walking home and that I probably need to cough it up and get the test done. Today just wasn't the day.

On a positive note, this morning is the most gorgeous day I've seen in a while. The skies in NYC are clear, bright blue and there's a slight breeze. GORGEOUS! :) Nothing like a fresh start of a new day to make you feel a whole lot better.