Babs: Well, to me, it’s just being me.  I don’t feel I need to be defined by my color. Do I?
Cola: For me being a black person and a black woman and being black and educated are unfortunately three different things. In ways it’s like it’s expected of you to be three different people.
Babs: I agree with that.
Cola: And represent a whole race of people all while doing it. It’s stressful being the authority and the spokesperson for everything.
Babs: lol
Cola: From violence to if it’s cool to go to Essence!  News Flash… Just because I’m black and a woman does not mean I know every word to a Keyshia Cole song. I hate being put into this character, this box and being expected to understand.
Babs: lol.  hahahahahahahahha
Babs: But most of them though, right?  lol
Cola: Someone of another race actually asked me that about essence before.
Babs: hahahahha
Cola: No, I don’t know but one Keyshia Cole song… but I bet I can name some Jack White songs.
I hate when people do that.  Anytime there is a rap concert they automatically ask me. Yes I love rap, but I never told you that! You are assuming because I’m black that’s what I listen.  I also listen to Frank
Babs: See… that’s the thing. In order to be a successful black person in society, I have to know EVERYTHING!
Cola: YES, WE MUST KNOW EVERYTHING…ABOUT EVERYONE…EVERY PLACE.
Babs: I have to think 2Pac was the best!
Cola: You have to love Rick Ross and Soul Food.
Babs: And then I have to know every word to No Doubt’s Don’t Speak. lol
Cola: Well I honestly don’t love most soul food! There I said it!  I do know all the words to Don’t Speak.
Babs: I have to go see every Tyler Perry movie and laugh like it’s the funniest thing in the world and not be offended when people talk during the damn movie. lol
EVERYONE LOVES SOUL FOOD!!!!and Don’t Speak is a classic.
Cola: Sigh…..
Babs: Then… you have to be ok going to all white events because you’re well rounded. Not that you see many white people trying to go to black events. unless they are hipsters or think it’s funny. Though, my favorite bartender did ask me to take her to Spice and I have to act like I been there before. Because all black people go to the same bars and clubs and know each other! LOL
Cola: Someone say the word “hood” here comes the looks.
Not that you see many white people trying to go to black events. unless they are hipsters or think it’s funny.
Cola: As a black person… I’m told I’m not black enough.
Cola: As a black woman… I’m told I’m not twerking enough.
Cola: As an educated black person I’m told I don’t listen to Foreign Exchange enough
I can’t win!
Babs: Well… these days, unless you twerking by the milk at the Wal-Mart, you ain’t hood!
Cola: We have to be everything to every group.  Apparently you have to be a twerk master.
Babs: I don’t even know who Foreign Exchange is. lol
Cola: don’t get me wrong I can twerk but in privacy of my own home…
Babs: hahahahahahah. Me too
Cola: I’m just tired of all these expectations about how I should act. You act too white…You act too black…. What is acting “too”? Why can’t I just be me without being stereotyped by everyone!
Or assuming we all come from broken families…. Recently, someone once automatically assumed I only had a mom. UMMM My parents were married 35 years and my dad passed away!!!
Babs: It’s like that episode of south park when Cartman tells Token that all black people can place base and Token is like, damn it, I can.
Check out this funny yet some true points video from Baratunde Thurston on Being the Black Friend. Also, check out his book “How to be Black”

And another video… How Black Are You?

Babs: If you’re not good at sports/dancing, just pretend you’re too cool to be bothered and everyone will assume you still are.  I just want to keep that stereotype going.

Cola: This is true… I hateeeeeeee line dancing. I’m horrible at it but I always pretend; like whatever I’m above this,  I’m cool. Oh wait I just gave my secret away.

Babs: lol.  I’ll wobble in public.  If I’ve got a few drinks in me.

Cola: If it’s not bank head bounce, popping, or “get it ready dances,” I do not want any part of it.

Babs: lol

Cola: I cringe when the Wobble come on.

Babs: hahahahaha

Cola: I once told my friends if I ever get married I refuse to have line dancing.  They looked at me like  “ UMM CHICK U HAVE NO CHOICE YOU ARE BLACK AND YOU MUST HAVE LINE DANCING!

Babs: Like when they play the bus stop and there’s always a new one that you don’t know. There are 29 bus stops. CAN’T WE JUST DO THE ORIGINAL?! I don’t know EVERY NEW ONE!

Cola: You want to know what’s my nightmare…. The day I do get married and I have to second line… Because you can’t get married without a second line. I’m just not ready for that moment.

Also, there is like three new bus stops every week.  Where does one go to learn all these!

Babs: I don’t know

Cola: Who has the time to keep up with them all.  I can do the original bus stop, but they never play it.

Babs: It’s always the same 2 people who look at you like you’re stupid for doing the one from last year.

Cola:It’s even 89 year old doing the fancy zydeco bus stop it’s just not fair!

Babs: lol.  hahahahha

Cola: It’s stressful.  I just sit there eat and drink.  Someone is always mad at me, like if they had a gun they would be like… LOOK YOU BETTER DO THIS DANCE OR I WILL POP A CAP IN YOU.

Babs: hahahahahha; lol.

Cola: I’m not a dancing machine people!  I will lean with it rock with it all night, but I just refuse to line dance!

Babs: lol. hahahah. You’re too cool

Cola: Weddings, Birthday Parties, Anniversary Parties, Divorce Parties, Just because parties… ITS THAT WOBBLE PLAGUING MY WORLD!

Babs: HAHAHAHA damn now i feel like doing the wobble.

Cola: Sigh

The Black Nod

Cola: If I go into an event and there is only one other black person there I am under law supposed to give them the nod at least ten seconds long looks. If not I think we will be shot down.

Babs: Yep.  One time, I walked into DBA with a white friend to see a band. Only other black dude pulls me aside and says to me and my friend “Sorry, I have to do a black check and make sure we are ok with this.” And I’m like; this is the most embarrassing thing EVER!  You couldn’t just give me the silent nod like everyone else??!?!!  You have to pull us aside and talk and say stupid stuff in front of white people?!   That’s just for US!

Cola: You just don’t go up to them directly.

Babs: Oh no.  Just a nod when they walk in.  Then after a while maybe chat.

Cola: You just suppose to let them know. I’m here you here… if something go down… watch where I go!

Babs: Exactly!!!!  That dude did it all wrong!

Cola: He needs to go back to black etiquette class.

Cola: I actually met one of my best friends at an event for technology where we were the only two tokens and he gave me the nod. And we talked about being only blacks for miles.  Sometimes the black nod can be beneficial if done properly.

Babs: Lol .  Very true I also met a friend from the black nod.

You know now all our white friends are going to read this and be looking for the black nod everywhere they go.

Check out this video we found!!!

BOMBAY SAPPHIRE SPRING FEVER

In a shaker with ice:
1 oz Bombay Sapphire
½ oz Aperol
¼ oz Elderflower Liquor
¼ oz Fresh Lime Juice
Splash of Grapefruit Juice
Shake well and strain in Rocks glass over ice. Top with Champagne. Garnish with Lemon Peel

Summer is almost here and the hot days are upon us.  It’s time for shorts to enter our lives. No matter who you are or what size you are there are some great shorts somewhere out there for you! To get you inspired about shorts shopping, check out some picks I found reasonably price.

Things to Remember:

• My plus sized ladies don’t be afraid of the shorts. They are fun and there are ways to make you feel more comfortable with them. I say go straight out with the shorts, but if you want to feel a bit more comfortable, try some funky tights with your shorts or a longer shirt. Check out some inspiration from Stylish Curves
• Remember super short isn’t for everyone! Look in the mirror and make sure you are comfortable with the length no matter your size. Longer works as well. Also, if you go longer you can always put a cute little cuff in them and maybe add some flair such as buttons and pendants if need be.

Babs:  OMG. YES. and NO….depends

Cola:  So… What I’m always told is that men and women can’t be friends because at some point someone has felt feelings for the other in many cases the guy has thought about you naked. That one of the parties is just waiting for their chance.  I personally don’t believe this. Three of my best friends are guys, but there may be a different rule book for nerds

Babs:  lol. I don’t know. I think it just depends on where you both are at in life.

I’ve made out with probably half of my male friends. but we are still friends.

Things just happen…when you’re out at a party or a parade

and you’ve been drinking

and you’ve been drinking

and they’ve been drinking

and you both want to make out

but not with a stranger.  it happens

Babs:  Idk I have been drinking hardcore with two of my best firends and in all ten years we never made out.  But we can still be friends the next day without it being a big deal

that’s why I say it depends. Because I have other friends like that where it’s never come up.

I don’t think anyone ever catches feelings.. It’s just something that happened that one time

or 4 times or once a week. but no feelings HAVE to come into play

but maybe that’s just me. I can shut off my emotional from my physical real easy.

Cola:  I don’t think many folks are able to shut off those feelings and I think it all boils down to what was the initial intention and if you two are REALLY friends or were you just friend zoned.

Babs:  LOL. Yeah.

Babs:  I have a friend that I’ve known since college. He wanted to date me, but I friend zoned him. We stayed friends but I knew he wanted more. I made the mistake of kind of hooking up with him many years after we graduated and to this day he still wants to be with me.

It can get awkward at times.

but, I just look at it like we are good friends. I can’t be responsible for how he feels.

Cola:  I should teach a class on being strictly platonic friends with guys.

Babs:  you should

Cola:   You actually can never be friends with that guy

Babs:  why not???

Cola:  You are now out of friend stage.  He is just holding on for dear life for the day when you decide to give him a shot. He just waiting faded into the background like Neyo. Until you say the coach is gonna put you in the game since you always been a good friend

Brooke:  lol

lol

never going to happen

I tell him that all the time

Babs:  In your head, but not in his head.  That’s why I said I can’t be responsible.

Cola:   He wouldn’t stick around unless somewhere deep in his head he didn’t feel he still had a shot

Babs:  He knew what the deal was from the beginning

Cola:  True he knew and he decided

Cola:  Expensive wine is also for reading and drinking or champagne showers of course but that’s another story.

Babs:  Um. champagne showers? really?

You give yourself champagne showers?  because I feel like that is impossible?

and I guess that’s a con of being single.  no one to give you champagne showers!

Cola:  No I never gave myself a champagne shower, but I think that would be like the saddest moment in single life to give yourself a champagne shower.  It won’t even splash all over you right just in one section

Babs:  LOL

Cola:  And you standing there with one wet spot and that’s just wrong

Babs:  That is probably the saddest thing I ever heard.

Cola:  Me too.

I can see it now.  Someone on instagram, giving their selves a champagne shower, as much as I like selfies that’s just one selfie I do not approve of.

Babs:  LOL

Pros

Cola:  Giving someone a champagne shower. Mine as well start there.

Babs:  You can do whatever you want without worrying about anyone else.

Cola:  You don’t have to schedule dates

Babs:  You can give champagne showers to anyone you want all day everyday

Cola:  But it’s more special when it’s the one you love

Babs:  You don’t have to check with anyone about plans. you can get up and go.

LOL.  You can date fresh, new boys every day of the week.

Cola:  You can go to Ihop in peace.  It’s something more romantic about going to chain restaurants with your loved one.  idk why

Babs:  You don’t have to look cute all the time. even on Skype. Lol

Cola: Well IDK You need to at least 89% of the time be cute.

Cola:  Like couple therapy movie everyone needs someone to go to Applebee’s with although I no like.

Babs:  You are not talking about pros to being single

Cola:  that is a pro! Going to waffle house. Sharing a waffle and cheese eggs. You can get two meals and share!

Babs:  How are you sharing if you are single?!

Cola:  Oh wait… I’m so confused. I have been dating myself so long now.

Babs:  LOL

Cola:  I’m not sure I know what a pro to being single is anymore

I can always go somewhere really expensive. Don’t have to worry about someone paying for me or paying for them

Babs:  um. That’s a CON

I want a dude to PAY FOR ME!

how is paying for your own fancy steak a PRO?

Cola:  I don’t.  I never order what I want on a date especially a first date. But even when friends are paying too.

Babs:  well then you’re dating wrong

Cola:  I like some things that can be a bit pricy so I tend to be courteous even when they want me to order anything.  They always want me to, but it’s something in my head that won’t allow me.

Babs:  ugh. you’re one of those girls that order a salad or a crab cake and one drink

Cola:  Hell no, I’m not ordering a salad but I normally ordering the steak, lobster, scallops something 30 and up lol so I take it down normally to a pasta or something lol

I don’t believe in ordering salads. it’s against everything in my life to order a salad as an entree

Babs:  It would have to be a good salad

Cola:  It better have scallops, shrimp, chicken, and steak on that salad

  Tell us your thoughts!!! Or leave us a question or topic to tackle at minoritywe@gmail.com

One of my favorite Spring/Summer time drinks is Pineapple Mint Water. It cools you down, but also gets you a refreshing yummy yet subtle taste to your water. Not only is it tasty but is very good for you. The pineapple is filled with vitamins such as A and C and can help with prevention of colds, helps support bones, and eyes as well as improves digestion. The mint is good for your skin as well as know to aid in regulating blood pressure. These two combined with water make a energizing drink.

Recipe:

• 10 Cups of  Water
• 1 Cup of fresh pineapples (cut in cubes)
• 12 Mint Leaves

Combine ingredients and let sit over night. Enjoy

Similar Recipes:

Martha Stewart

Dr. Oz

Cola:  Okay let’s start with Cons

First off a con to being single is when you need to zip a dress or put on a bracelet and no one is around!

Babs:  lol

I don’t have a problem with that so much, but I see what you mean.

Babs:  Being single mostly sucks because I don’t have a dependable plus one.

I’m completely fine going places alone, but there are things I want to do, or places I want to go and I get tired of looking for a date or asking one of my friends.

I need someone who will hold my purse when I go to the bathroom.

Cola:  True. Sometimes you need someone to take cute funny pictures with at events

Babs:  Yes.

Being single just means you have to be ok either doing everything alone, or really good at getting people to do things with you. And that can get old fast.

Also, dating can be stressful, as you know. It’s like the hunger games out here. We’re all killing each other to find adequate men. Sometimes the game is fun, and sometimes you just wish that you didn’t have to be in the game.

Can’t think of anymore cons to being single??? LOL.

Cola:  Ummm. lol

I’m thinking. lol

Babs:  hahahahahah. Not having someone to cuddle with anytime you want kind of sucks too.

Cola:  Yes….The cuddling issue may be the worse issue to being single or not having someone you can force to go to the wizarding world of harry potter can be devastating.

Babs:  Yeah. I think a cuddling business would be very profitable amongst single women.

WHAT?

Why you always got to go crazy?

Cola:  Not crazy

Babs:  lol

Cola:  But they should just do things I want them to do. Isn’t that a boyfriend’s job?

Babs:  lol.  um.

Cola:  Like isn’t it in the job description?

Babs:  I’m not sure that’s the exact job description. lol.  I JUST WANT A DEPENDABLE PLUS ONE! and when you’re single, you can never have a dependable person for every event.

Cola:  True.  you need multiple trophy guys for different events. Create a schedule for them.

Cola:  I didn’t realize how there weren’t man cons until today

Babs:  You don’t think there are cons for single men?

Cola:  I think there are probably more cons for single men than women actually.

Babs:  Oh really. Like what?

Cola:  Like who is going to bake them cute cupcakes?

Babs:  Lol. A factory?

Cola:  Or have someone to watch romantic comedies with them and then blame it on their significant other if they like it or someone ask.

Also, factory cupcakes are not the same as coming home to a chick who just wants to bake you cupcakes.

Babs:  that’s all you. I don’t bake cupcakes

Cola:  well bake whatever!

Babs:  I think single men get just as lonely as women, but they hide it more.

Cola:  I know they have it worse I feel.  I only get lonely when I look at Facebook though.

Someone new has a baby or engagement every day. Wanna know what’s worse than the blue screen of death… the upper right corner of Facebook massacre.

Babs:  LOL. Facebook doesn’t bother me. those people always look miserable to me. (Except for any of my friends reading this post. You look awesome. And you baby in sunglasses is totally cute!)

I think men maybe do have it worse now that I think about it. Women have friends they can talk to and be with on an intimate level. I don’t think men can be themselves on that level with anyone other than their woman.

Cola:  Nope men can’t their idea of being intimate with their friends is sharing a beer and watching football. They won’t sit around and talk about feelings. Although I believe in secret they do

Babs:  True.

Cola:  They have men crying fest and talk about how everything sucks and they pat each other on the back

Babs:  I don’t know about that.  lol

Cola:  And one of them makes lasagna and then they play poker to feel manly again. That’s how I see it.

Babs:  hahahaaha.  lasagna? not bacon? or steak?

Cola:  Bacon is in the lasagna.  You can’t cry and eat steak. I think you can get sick from that or something

Babs:  Um. I have cried and eaten steak. MANY TIMES.

Cola:  You eat steak u don’t cry u do a push up

Babs:  lol

Cola:  I refuse to cry when a beautiful steak is sitting in front me

Babs:  Sometimes steak and crying go together!

Cola:  I prefer to cry over Cobbler

Babs:  A big sexy bone-in rib eye and some serious crying with wine and a friend.

Cola:  I don’t like crying with friends. Maybe I am a dude

Babs:  You have lots of dude mentalities.

Cola:  Only one of us can cry at a time and most likely it won’t be me

Babs:  LOL.  we have to take turns crying??? damn.

Cola:  Only a few people have seen me cry.  my cry is like an urban myth

Babs:  HAHAHAHA. You have the Lochness Monster of crying.

Cola:  I cry in privacy over cheap wine.  You can’t cry and drink your expensive wine.  It’s just against everything I believe in life

Babs:  Expensive wine is MADE for crying. cheap wine is for being mad because it just makes you madder!

Cola:  Expensive wine is for me to stand in the mirror drinking it and dancing when I’m happy

Babs: we are so off topic right now.

 Tell us your thoughts!!! Or leave us a question or topic to tackle at minoritywe@gmail.com

Babs:  We could talk about how most people don’t date anymore.

Cola:  ok

Babs:  I think that you and I might be the two best people at it that I know.

Cola:  lol.

Babs:  I mean, a lot of the women I know just hang out or hook up.

Babs:  Friends are constantly telling me about this new guy. And I’m like “Do you actually like, date? Eat drink, anything outside his or your house?” Usually the answer is no. Or I get things like, “I told this guy I would stop by this bar.”

Cola:  I don’t believe in hanging out, hooking up, or “chilling.”   No you will not come chill at my house. I’m not that chick!  If there is no plan there is no me.

Babs:  Only occasionally, do I hear about DATES.

Cola:  Now I can see if you are a lady looking for just some fun.. Then by all means… Hang out. But if you are looking for something else, do not lie to yourself and cheapen what you want and don’t want.

Babs:  And I get texts all the time from guys who are like, “I’m at this place, you should stop by.” That’s fine every now and again, but not all the time.

Cola:  Why would you just go “chill” if you want something more. You giving in to what he wants will not make him want you any more or less than any other time.

Babs:  You should have at least thought about me before you got there.

exactly!

Cola:  I don’t like texts that say… “Let’s chill” “Let’s hang out…at the house”… NO SIR WE WILL NOT BE DOING NONE OF THE SUCH! I’m gonna let you know. I don’t do that. Now if you got a problem with that by all means find someone who doesn’t. I’m cool with that and respect that. But… if you want something more of me then you will be cool with the fact I’m not comfortable just chillin with you.

Babs:  YES!

And I hate “What you doing right now?” I’m busy. If you wanted to see me, you should have asked before. Again, not all the time. If you got out of work early or whatever, and you just want to see me, GREAT! But just because you don’t have anything to do, don’t think I’m sitting here waiting for you.

Cola:  I notice from conversations with many of friends instead of asking them out on dates they say let’s chill. Why would you want to just chill with a young lady you just met in a house if you were looking for something real? Why bother?  Just say… HEY COME OVER … LET’S HAVE SEX … ARE YOU DOWN? You both doing the “chill” thing only creates an environment where you putting her or yourself in a position to decide if sexual tension will win out right then and there.

Well…. Brooke you know I can write a book about the term Busy…. Oh you are too busy… You are a Busy Body… Ummm No… There are a few things on this….

Babs:  Also, what is with the, “Maybe we could do something Saturday.” I just want to say “Maybe. If you got off your ass and asked me.” Don’t half-ass ask me out so when Saturday comes you are nowhere to be found and then I’m the crazy one for being like “I thought we had a date” and you can be “I said maybe.”

No more maybes. Learn how to ask me out on a date and then DATE!

Cola:  1. Maybe she just not that into YOU. EVERYONE… MALE AND FEMALE MAKE TIME FOR WHAT THEY WANT AND WHO THEY WANT… If you are constantly getting turned down by her she obviously she  just doesn’t want to date you.

2. Don’t ask me out one hour before wondering if I want to do something and when I state I have plans automatically think I’m too busy for you…. NEWS FLASH most women are not waiting around on you to hit them up. I would hope they have a life and you need to do your part to try and fit in that life and once you do she will make the most time for you.

Babs:  YES!

LOL

Cola:  Why is it one party must always think their time is more valuable than everyone else? No both of your times are equally important and should be respected as such.

Babs:  TRUE!

Cola:  And to go back to what you said about MAYBE… Well maybe I will just have other plans. Because I know media has you thinking women are sitting by the phone waiting for calls…. but that’s not the case.. I’m pretty sure I will be out somewhere so you maybe won’t work.

Cola:  I hope I don’t come off as angry because it’s not my intent. I just want people to understand you need to ASSESS the situation in the beginning. What is this going to be? Do you like me or not? So you can decide if you will be going on dates or just chilling. And decide how you both will make things work equally.

Babs:  I’m just tired of this culture of “causal relationship”. If it’s a relationship, it’s not casual, it’s a FWB.

And if that’s what I want, cool. I won’t expect dates.

Cola:  And when I say figuring out what’s going on… I don’t mean ladies hearing one thing and doing something totally different….. If a guy tells you he only wants to be FRIENDS… BELIEVE HIM.. You will not change that. Stop always trying to change some man’s mind. It’s exhausting. He either wants you or he doesn’t. He shows you he doesn’t; it may hurt but move one. Don’t be caught still there and being upset calling him a bad guy, when in reality he is not a bad guy he just an HONEST GUY.

Babs:  but don’t try to trick me into thinking this “causal relationship” is a thing. If you’re seeing other people, and I’m seeing other people we’re either dating or just hooking up.

Cola:  I personally don’t think men are trying to trick in most situations, not all. I think it’s pretty much the ladies fault. They always think they can change someone’s mind or that their vajayjay has magical powers and will make him want to wife her.

Babs:  I think we’ve delved into a different topic.

lol

Cola:  it’s not happening. He knows what he wants and you know what he want! So deals with it accordingly not like you in Disney!

lol we did lol

Babs:  lol

Cola:  this topic makes me the angriest lol

Babs:  hahahahha

I see

I personally think that a lot of people would like to date more. They are tired of the chillin’ etc., but they don’t know how.

Cola:  Women are their own worst enemy… men too but I only know about women because I share the same genitals as them.

We create this idea in our head

Babs:  Men don’t know how to ask. Women don’t know how to get a guy to ask. So they all just accept what they get.

Cola:  and try to force this guy to fit in it and not all of them will.

Babs:  Nope.

Cola:  I think guys have a pretty good way of showing and in many cases saying it… Just not everyone listening to those words.

Oh I want just a friend.

Babs:  I just say, I have a lot of friends.

Cola:  I’m looking for a permanent cuddle buddy (someone just recently told me this wackiness and I had to let him know I’m not the cuddle buddy type)

Babs:  lol

Cola:  You got to know what you want.

And you got to listen

Babs:  yes. LISTEN.

Cola:  some folks will be real with you and some won’t be real with you but you gotta listen.

Babs:  people will tell you exactly what they want

Cola:  Sometimes we all just do not want to listen because it just feels so great being in that person presence.  Also on the other hand sometimes we are listening too hard and end up sabotaging the whole situation because it’s something different

Babs:  If a dude you just met online wants to come see you in the same hour as he messaged you for the first time, he is not looking for a relationship.

He didn’t even ask your name, but he wants to know where you live.

and you think that’s sweet????

No, honey. it’s not.

That’s true to. analyzing every word will get you into trouble.

we should post these and ask people to send us questions.

Cola: I know for a fact I am a victim of that sometime. I’m the queen of analyzing… It’s also what I do for a living. But I will analyze myself into not even liking the person anymore. It can be bad.  We all get in the way of our own self.

Babs:  yeah we do.