Parenting is becoming so much cooler these days. Thanks to the parents we’ve met, we’ve come to learn so many stories that just touch our hearts and tickle our souls. All parents seem to have these moments when they just get it – and achieve the state of flow in parenting creativity. I’ve also a new-found respect for the moms who somehow manage to juggle it all, and find the delicate balance between being a mother, and being a friend.

In comes Gina Romero, a dynamic rock-chick-entrepreneur-supermom whom I met this week (with an email signature that speaks volumes of her dynamite personality!) A gamer herself, Gina and her husband formed a family team with her two boys in World of Warcraft. In the most animated fashion, Gina recounted the moments of impeccable family teamwork, lessons in strategy, and the occasional outbursts of a mother’s natural instinct when her youngest one (the weakest link) charged ahead in a moment of impatience – “Don’t worry!! Mommy’s coming to save youuuuuuu!!!”. Fantastic story. Till today, Gina’s boys are still pleading her to join them on WOW.

How big an act humor plays! I’ve found the ability to laugh at ourselves so key to encouraging exploration and creativity. It must takes great courage I think, for parents to just let go. Perhaps that is the art of parenting 2.0 – to observe, to listen, to understand, to relive your childhood through your kids, without your expectations, and to let them re-inspire your curiosities, to let them be your muse, and to infuse play into the process.

Thanks to Conan O’brien who inspired this post with this awesome tweet today.

It’s an interesting time to be in Singapore, at time when our democracy is beginning to take it’s shape. It’s fascinating to hear the reasons WHY people are rooting for the candidates of their choice. Everyone’s pretty open about their allegiances now, which seems like a big step forward.

Some have really taken the time and effort to gather all competing evidences they can possibly lay their hands on, and deliberate on who might be the best man for the job. Some have chosen to vote for higher order and minority issues, or whichever candidate best represents their interests, definitely no harm in that.

I overheard a group of uncles who were discussing the candidates’ dates of birth and zodiac signs, who’s face they liked the most, followed by some really sensational gossip they heard online. It was quite astonishing.

I guess we have all grounds covered.

Vote wisely folks!

The Essence of Play

Children were everywhere – flying in the air, sprawling on the ground, underground (I wouldn’t be surprised), climbing into suspended aluminum containers that made for make-belief space travel, crawling inside metal structures, and playing inside the top of a large mechanized caravan. This wasn’t a Disneyland that designed the perfect dreamworld. This was raw and dirty. Makerfaire presented you only the primitive blocks, showed you the possibilities, and then gave you the chance to let your imagination take over. Kids were in awe, kids were learning through play, kids were asking questions, kids were experimenting and failing. There was so much I didn’t know, I felt like I was a kid again.

The Art of Make-Belief

Enter Steam Punk. The League of STEAM (Supernatural and Troublesome Ectoplasmic Apparition Management) paraded some sophisticated equipment for detecting paranormal activity – all beautifully finished with neo-Victorian detail: leather, wood, cast iron, lead and black paint. They even demoed an ornate steam-powered gun that would fire a zombie-catching net onto the unsuspecting walking dead. Kids gawked in awe, as the Steam-master rattled off specifications on leather-clad detection devices that would have had a fighting chance of working, had zombies existed. Too convincing!

More Magical Moments

Amongst the robots (Arduino and Android were a strong force this year), radio controlled devices, arts, crafts, jewelry, science experiments and food, the most effective demo was, if audience reaction was a measure, the van de graaf generator manned by a grey haired scientist in a lab coat. He smiled unflinchingly as he charged his generator, at which point his hair would stand up like a dandelion. He’d then invite members of the passing public to shake hands, at which point the static discharge would make touch guys squeal, toddlers laugh, children smile, and friends roar.

Also note-worthy was Fossil Fool who used to be a bike-powered electric guitar played by a single man, but now it’s an entire band, with drums, guitars and their own stage on the lawn.

But perhaps the most spectacular was the ArcAttack twin Tesla Coil coupled to an electric guitar. The guitar player (decked out like the Stig from Top Gear) used discharge from the tesla coils to emulate musical notes. One word: awesome.

The Power of a Generous Passionate Community

What struck me the most was the ease in which enthusiastic inventors wanted to share their creations. Everybody was welcome to touch, play, participate and ask questions, and nobody was allowed to leave unsatisfied. We learned that a jetpack does exist: it is powered by 93% Hydrogen Peroxide, is propelled by steam at 180 bar and propels you 3 meters into the air for 30 seconds (good luck finding a tree). But most importantly, when using a real jetpack, you don’t really look that cool: you’re lifted by your armpits and have your legs dangling below you in sympathy. Sadly we weren’t allowed to try the jetpack, but the scientist behind it was so enthusiastic, we might as well have!

Nurturing the next generation of Makers

It dawned on me how we are gradually losing this spirit of tinkering in Singapore, eroded by our rapid pace of progress. We now have trouble even fixing the simplest of things (guilty as charged). Well, solutions! Every parent can encourage their kids to make their own toys instead of buying one ready-made off the shelf. You’ll be surprised at how many nifty things one can make out of trash! For the bolder parents, I recommend fifty dangerous things you should let your children do (I heard there’s a sell-out Summercamp in the US on the same topic of guiding children to play with dangerous objects in a safe manner). For the educators reading this, one simple idea: dedicate a small corner in your school, make an announcement to accept old electric appliances and computers, throw in some tools for good measure. Let children play, take things apart, put things together, fail, get hurt, learn, and try again.

About fifty people along waterloo street
Some pointing, gossiping, most giving quiet stares
All looking up, wondering, praying
That he wouldn’t make the jump

I couldn’t get it out of my mind all through the day. At least one person takes his life every day in Singapore. It’s the kind of numbing statistic you don’t think about until you come face to face with a victim. Worse, the post-traumatic effects ripple across those who have loved, or have seen.

It was like a solemn slap in the face. In the light of the upcoming presidential elections, I’ve been watching people speak with an emotional charge, whether it for the sake of intellectual argument, the expression of choice, or as an outlet for their grievances. And then I’m reminded that there are some who are completely removed from all this, with a magnitude of despair I don’t think we can even appreciate.

It’s been quite a trying time in between kicking off the startup, overloading my university modules AND having to knock out a thesis. I’m surprised how it all came together at the end. In those times, sacrifice was really the name of the game.

All’s good now thanks to the immense support of people around me. It couldn’t be more liberating being out of school, finally being able to spend all my time actually learning and devoting my time to larger purposes and people.

Am back more inspired than ever. I’d also like to introduce a new co-author who’s been such an inspiration and pillar in my life. From him I’ve learned to better understand myself, love others, examine life more deeply and appreciate even more all the beautiful mysteries this world has to offer. Thanks Alam :)

A time comes when you experience a swell of maturation and a heightened sense of clarity. You realize the gravity of your undertaking, and you discover a new lens in which you see the world. You become defined in what you stand for, yet are humbled by the wisdom and unconditional favors of others. You learn to be grateful for the patience of your friends and the understanding of your family. You go forth with a conviction like never before.

This is your awakening.

You realize that passion is quite the understatement, because really, it is an obsession. It is the gut indignation about how screwed up the whole problem is, an agonizing discomfort with the speed at which things are moving, and the nagging urgency to find a solution. This obsession is the reason you feel no inhibition putting your ideas out in front of everyone and anyone you meet. You know that it will be a different product tomorrow, and tomorrow there will only be progress. People can run away with ideas but they can’t run up against your obsession. You pitch your idea the hundredth thousand time with the same level of energy and excitement as the first, except that it has evolved into something much more polished than when you first started.

You raise your first dollar, and it happens so quickly that it catches you unprepared. There’s a saying we have in the valley – ask for money and you get advice, ask for advice and you get money, I couldn’t agree more. The euphoria after your first close lasts for approximately five seconds, before you walk out of the meeting in complete silence because you’re now reconciling the feelings and responsibility associated with taking someone else’s money. You let the gravity of operating on borrowed funds sink in, making the commitment to squeeze out as much value as you can for every, single, dollar you even think of spending.

Upon retrospection, you realize that the fund-raising process is really an exercise of trust, credibility and negotiation, and not some classical valuation technique you picked up at business school. You later learn that your investors had already made up their minds even before reviewing your business deck, which served really just as a sanity check. Every entrepreneur can have a world-changing plan of action, but what seals the deal is an alignment of intention, and the trust in your ability to honor your word.

And then you face the perennial problem of recruiting your first full-time hires. You need to hire fast, but you have to hire slow (we’re still hiring). It’s something that’s so out of your control that you sometimes wish you could just clone your co-founders and programme them with a whole set of new skills. Finding a culture fit is paramount, and we use the yardstick of asking ourselves how long we can imagine being stuck on a remote island with every new addition. And then it hits you that you’re now responsible for putting food on someone else’s table, and you make a special effort to know their families too because they’re now indirectly depending on you.

You get your first paying customer, and that is when you experience the real euphoria. You’re suddenly running a real business. But more than that, watching children and parents reacting and benefiting from your product sets your heart on fire. A mere vision becomes a reality. You remind yourself every day of the tremendous responsibility of designing for children, because you’re sowing the seeds and shaping their minds. You are mindful of user testing because children are not experiments, and it goes beyond mere compliance of some child privacy act, but a dedication to protect them, to empower them with the right teaching and values, and to fundamentally keep them happy and safe.

You also discover that there are many smart people in the world, but there are very few who are very wise. Too many people get seduced by their own smarts to the detriment of their companies, their families, and themselves, but you never know by just looking at the surface because the media celebrates them. You realize that changing the people you surround yourself with can change your life. And after meeting so many people from all walks of life, you suddenly get it… because it ultimately boils down to a particular feeling of positive energy you experience with someone, and within the first few seconds, you just know.

Then again, there are only a few things I know for sure. And one of them is that we as a team will learn everything there is to learn, and fail as many times as we need to fail, to ultimately do what needs to be done. At the end of the day, it is really about abandoning yourself to what is to come, knowing that you will figure it all out, and to simply let your love for your users guide the way. Because every single time we see our moolah kids, we couldn’t imagine trading what we’re doing for anything else in the world.

For instance, most people do not actually work for money, but they work to earn a better quality of life – big idea in building a startup culture! People fork out real cash to purchase Farmville cash, so they can spend less time playing on Farmville (they call it a time hook, but aren’t we a walking paradox?) Do couples choose not to conceive because baby bonuses are insufficient, or because they simply cannot afford the quality time – might Europe’s mandatory maternity and paternity leave set an example?

I’ve found that the most valuable thing that anybody can give you really, is their time. Time too, in it’s natural passing, is also a human construct. Perception of time is time itself, and can expand in times of boredom, and contract in times of flow. Our psychological perception of time affects our decisions. And our decisions affect our lives.

A Balanced Appreciation of Time

In The Time Paradox, Philip Zimbardo (better known for the Stanford Prison Experiment) and John Boyd suggests that each of us hold biased time perspectives with which we make decisions with, that ultimately become ingrained as a mental habit. Some of us are trapped in the past, some relish the present, and some simply live in the future. Past-orientation can be focused on good memories or trapped in miss-opportunities; present-orientation can be hedonistic or fatalistic; and future-orientation can entail excessive goal achievement and risk taking.

No prizes for guessing – I happen to be excessively future oriented.. which comes at a high price in terms of family, health, and present enjoyment. I soon figured that at the rate I was going I might delay simply living my entire life! That would be a pretty bad deal, and definitely not much fun. There is a point in time where delayed gratification has to be taken in moderation.

Life changes when you achieve a full appreciation of time. Keeping an optimal temporal balance in mind, I make extra effort to appreciate the past for providing the identity and accompanying backstory that no one can deny, to focus on always being present and live life with vigor, whilst still keeping my healthy dose of optimism and excitement for what the future holds.

Generation NOW

At times, I do find myself a slave to time. It manifests in the frustrating five seconds when a page takes a longer time to load than I am used to; those moments where a hundred thousand things pile up on my to-do lists. It’s those times when I feel a impulse to be on top of current affairs, or be led by my curiosity and know everything I can possibly know about a subject.

There is a new expectation of immediacy, and and an accompanying need for action. Call it the attention economy – brands are just paying to grab our mind-share. In this cacophony and bombardment, we are expected to respond, respond, and respond.

But with what basis can we respond if we do not have time for thoughtfulness?

Clarity of Thought

This isn’t surprising. We spent most of our early school years marching to the beat of timetables, optimized for input. We were all was trained to think in 40-minute blocks of time, each with it’s own function of what to do and how to think. There was a time for Math, and then a scurry to the time for History. A time for play, which often meant being late for the time for English. We developed an incredible ability to absorb information without rumination, and to switch between various mental modes required for each domain.

I recently volunteered at an elementary school and met one teacher who had an extraordinary respect for her student’s time. After recess, the little ones streamed back into their classroom and laid their heads down on their desks. The lights went out, and soothing music soon filled the classroom as she started to narrate scenes of meadows and butterflies. “And now we shall all learn with calm minds and fill our hearts with generosity…” I saw the boys recovering from their beads of perspiration, and noticed some others who had dozed off to sleep. It was just 5 minutes, but it felt like a spiritual experience.

How often do we reflect on our intentions and actions? To reason and contemplate meaning? And to explore the whole substance of an issue? How frequently do we think with a sense of priority? Do we even give ourselves enough time to change our minds?

Budget Time for Inaction

Because I’m pretty lost without my calendar, I have resorted to budgeting time for all the important things – having free but bounded times for thoughts that matter.

To all founders, teachers, and parents, inaction is not a waste of time. Between action is the reflection, analysis, the study of why, and the prioritization of what is to come. Give yourself time. Be patient with your thoughts, and remember the following -

“It is not the time it takes to take the take that takes the time. It is the time it takes between the takes that takes the time.” – Roy Scheider, American actor

Think about it.

Am a big fan of futuristic user interfaces. Here’s one of the most exciting ones from Minority Report science adviser and inventor John Underkoffler. It’s a big claim that such remarkable technology can be commoditized in 5 years, I wonder how motion can be detected after removing the glove?

There are epic possibilities marrying spatial navigation to the cloud (see Ringo), but the web application layer is not yet prepared for such a transition. It leads me to think of a new call for a whole industry of 3D designers simply re-engineering and visualizing data. A field I that I think has yet to break the dawn of it’s time.

Imagine if classrooms were fitted with such technology, harnessing the power of visual explanation, simulation and collaboration for teachers and students to explore together. What do you think are some killer apps?

I have a feeling that the world in 10 years will be unlike anything we can imagine.

One of the most beautiful things I look forward to, on my flights from Singapore to San Francisco, is getting to witness two sunrises in one day, in the air. It feels almost indulgent. The feeling of flying above the Pacific Ocean being lost in space and time – not knowing what time it is, or where exactly I am. You simply revel in the serenity of calming pastel shades, or take in the inspiration born from the clash of ravage colors in the sky.

Back in the bay area, nothing has changed. It feels like I’d never left?

The San Francisco of Europe
Two Malay girls donning a hot pink tudung, spotting short mini skirts, audacious patterned stockings, and wearing their bras on the outside. It transported me back to one of those typical San Francisco love parades. A self-selecting crowd descends on this city where they can finally be understood. Add in the familiar smell of weed for full flavor.

World cup mania
Hup Holland Hup! The city decks itself in orange banners and streamers. An old man sits in his orange wheelchair with a beer in his hand. I noticed him a mile away because of the bright orange hat on his head shaped like a soccer ball. He spreads the world cup cheer to passerbys, mostly tourists who probably don’t understand a word.. but his smile and energy speak a universal language. To top it off, visit the airport restrooms and find orange toilet paper. Nuff said! It was enough to make me root for Netherlands this season.

Countryside
The countryside begins as soon as the city ends, what a breath of fresh air, literally. The tranquility of vast grasslands weighed down by fog, with an accompanying light drizzle. Grey shades of barns and windmills that are better appreciated from the distance. When you get close enough, you realize these have been preserved and manicured for all the tourist who get lost milling around in the souvenir shops.

Full Netherlands album here.