Mirror, Mirror... OFF The Wall.

How does appearance affect our success? (Reposted from UNR.edu)

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Wed, 01 May 2019 23:50:00 +0000

Hi Everyone,
UNR asked me to participate in their "Ask The Professor" series, asking me to explain how appearance impacts our success. The original is posted HERE, and I've also included the text below!

Social science research shows that a person’s physical appearance has a meaningful impact on their life experiences and opportunities, but the story is more complicated than people might expect.

For the most part, attractive people enjoy a lot of perks. For example, a psychological concept called “the halo effect” that has strong ties to beauty; upon a first impression, highly attractive people are presumed by others to have a variety of positive personality traits, such as altruism, stability, and intelligence, compared to less attractive people, as though an invisible “halo” were shining down upon the beautiful. This helps to explain rampant appearance discrimination in the workplace, dating market, and even in our court system. In his book Beauty Pays, economist David Hamermesh shows that attractive people are more likely to be employed, are paid higher wages, are more likely to be approved for a loan, negotiate loans with better terms, and have better looking and higher-status spouses. Attractive criminals even receive lighter sentences for their crimes (and occasionally their mugshots go viral and they end up with fan-clubs and modeling contracts – Google “Hot Convict” for that story!).

The research I described above paints a picture in which beauty predicts having a good life, but the story is more complicated that. In fact, I strongly caution anyone from investing too heavily in their own appearance. There are two reasons I say this. The first is a critique of the research and its implications, and the second is a more holistic way of understanding “success.”

Okay, so what does this research really mean for individuals?

Most of the research on appearance and inequality relies on highly subjective ratings of beauty. In most cases, a research team ranks photographic images of people on a 1-5 scale, with 1 = strikingly unattractive or homely, 2 = below average appearance for age and sex, 3 = average appearance for age and sex, 4 = above average appearance for age and sex, and 5 = strikingly handsome or beautiful.

It may not be surprising to learn that the greatest differences in life experiences are found when comparing the “1s” to the “5s.” However, differences in life experiences between, say, a “3” and a “4” (one level of difference) or even between a “1” and a “3” (two levels of difference) were generally miniscule. In statistical terms, they were frequently “insignificant,” suggesting that even if a person were able to improve their appearance, they would have to change from being “exceptionally unattractive” to “strikingly beautiful” in order to experience meaningful benefits along the lines I described above. This is simply impossible, even with modern day technology. As David Hamermesh explained “While looks can be altered by clothing, cosmetics, and other short-term investments, the effects of these improvements are minor. Even plastic surgery doesn’t make a huge difference.” In other words, spending excessive amounts of time or money, or putting oneself through miserable weight-loss diets and/or painful or risky medical procedures is NOT a logical investment of one’s resources, time or health. Also, in one of the largest studies of this kind – with 2,774 participants – over 95% of people were rated as 2s, 3s, or 4s, so at the end of the day we’re all pretty much average, and I, personally, find some comfort in that.

What do we really mean by “success”?

My argument that people should not invest too much into their appearance because there won’t be much payoff may leave some people feeling quite discouraged about their ability to become more attractive and therefore more successful. It seems unfair. And yet…. this only matters if our definition of “success” is entangled with money and status. The good news (I think) is that, despite its other perks,BEAUTY IS NOT A STRONG PREDICTOR OF OVERALL HAPPINESS OR LIFE SATISFACTION. Gorgeous people are not happier than homely folks. Rather, decades of social-psychological research tells us that the single biggest predictor of human happiness in the quality of a person’s social relationships. In other words, if you want to be happier and more satisfied with your life, you should work on improving the health of your relationships, not the appearance of your body.

Wait - Does this mean that appearance discrimination doesn’t matter?

No. Absolutely not. In fact, my own research focuses on appearance discrimination in both the workplace and in cultural markets, such as the fashion industry. Happiness is more important than money, but income inequality and social stigma and bullying are both serious issues that need to be addressed. We need to change our culture at all levels to accept and celebrate bodily diversity, and our legal system needs to recognize appearance discrimination as an issue of civil rights. I tell my students to stop wasting their time and energy on the latest fad diet, and to instead channel those resources towards more reliable self-care projects and especially towards activism. In particular, I’m very critical of media messages that (1) tell us that our looks are the most important aspect of who we are (which simply isn’t true), and then (2) present images of beauty that are extremely photoshopped and therefore physiologically impossible to achieve in real life. These images and messages contribute to poor body image and eating disorders, and we need to hold advertisers and social media influencers accountable for the damage they cause.

Okay. Then does this mean that caring about beauty and fashion and makeup is always bad?

Absolutely not, again! I personally love playing around with fashion and makeup. As a feminist and sociologist of culture I value people’s enjoyment of creative self-expression and I recognize that indulging in beauty practices can be an element of self-care and pride for many people. Self-expression matters. Identity matters. Creativity matters. Pleasure matters. That said, for every person there is a point of diminishing returns on investing in appearance. I encourage people to thoughtfully find their point of diminishing returns, so they can more consciously decide how to spend their time and resources.

Dear KJ: How I can I talk to my trainer about body-shaming comments?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Sat, 17 Mar 2018 00:28:00 +0000

Dear KJ: Are there any ways I can talk to my trainer at the gym who makes body-shaming comments? (Posted HERE first, w/ expert advice from Dr. David Hutson)

This is a really important issue that hasn’t received enough attention. How can gym cultures be more body positive, and how can personal trainers, in particular, promote healthy body image in their clients? Far too many gyms and trainers seem to think that the only reason people go to the gym is to lose weight or otherwise change the way their bodies look. A more body-positive approach would instead emphasize helping gym-goers set goals tied to health and well-being, regardless of weight-loss or changes in body shape or composition.

Unfortunately, so much of our culture is obsessed with thinness that a lot of gyms and trainers similarly think that this is what clients want, or should want. But people truly can be healthy at every size. In fact, there’s a fantastic science-based movement called Heath at Every Size (HAES) that emphasizes the fact that body size and shape are NOT the best predictors of health and well-being, and that each person has a unique body with its own needs for optimal health. More importantly, there is ample research that people who experience body-shaming have significantly worse health outcomes than those who do not. In other words, if a trainer takes part in body-shaming, they are not only being rude, but are also harming the long-term health of their clients.

But back to your specific question about how to talk to a trainer who has done this. I had a similar experience several years ago when my yoga instructor tried to motivate the class by telling us to “think of how many calories you’re burning right now!” I was really upset when I heard this. Then, instead of focusing on my movements and breathing, I spent the rest of the yoga class stressing about (1) whether I should say something and (2) what I should say. I worked up the courage to approach the instructor after class and said, “I really enjoyed your class, but I’m wondering if I could give you some feedback on something that bothered me today.”

The instructor seemed very open to this and said, “Of course!” I took a deep breath and said, “One of the things I love about yoga is that it makes me feel strong and connected to my body. I’m in recovery from an eating disorder and yoga has been healing for me. But it didn’t feel healing today when you talked about burning calories. Would you consider using different language going forward?” My heart was racing, but it went fine. The instructor seemed more embarrassed than me! She apologized, and said, “I don’t even know why I said that! I want yoga to be body-positive. Thank you for telling me.” And it never happened again.

You might try using similar language to speak with your trainer. Also, since I don’t have specific experience having this kind of conversation with a personal trainer, I forwarded your question to one of my colleagues, Dr. David Hutson, a Sociology professor at Penn State, Abington who has published research on gym culture and personal trainers. Here's what Dr. Hutson suggested:

Dr. David Hudson

“Talk to your trainer directly about the comments. The trainer-client relationship may often feel like a friendship but, it is ultimately a business relationship. Your trainer’s body shaming comments might work to motivate other clients, and that may be why they’re using them with you. However, you are the expert on what best motivates you during a workout, and a conversation with your trainer about this is completely reasonable. It may also be helpful for your trainer to realize that not all clients are motivated by the same language or tone of voice. The majority of trainers are both fitness experts and salespeople—they need to keep their clients happy and buying training packages, so they have an interest in providing you with the best service possible. If, however, your trainer doesn’t stop their body-shaming comments after a conversation, then it’s likely time to find a new trainer, as that is a relatively clear sign they don’t have your best interests at heart.”

I wish you luck in having this conversation with your trainer. That said, if your interactions with this trainer have left you feeling uncomfortable, you don’t have to speak with them at all. You might instead speak with the gym manager about working with a different trainer. It is NOT your responsibility to teach your trainer to be body positive. Your only responsibility is to yourself and your mental and physical health!

Analyzing the Aesthetic Labor of High Maintenance Hair

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Thu, 04 May 2017 16:53:00 +0000

Blog post originally published HERE.

A few months ago the website Inc.com featured the essay "Why Women Who Want to Be Leaders Should Dye Their Hair Blonde, According to Science" as it's lead article. As a (blonde) sociologist studying how appearance shapes women's labor market opportunities I read the article with great interest. The research itself seems fascinating and important, but the coverage of it by writer @MindaZetlin is deeply concerning.

Zetlin over-extrapolates from the research findings presented by Dr. Jennifer Berdahl and Dr. Natalya Alonso, professors at the University of Columbia's Saunder School of Business, at the Academy of Management's annual meeting. Observing what seemed like an odd overabundance of blonde women in leadership positions, Berdahl and Alonso conducted a study with 100 men, to gauge their reactions to hair color. As summarized by Zetlin,

Asked to rate photos of blonde and brunette women on attractiveness, competence, and independence, the men thought all the women were equally attractive, but that the brunettes were more competent and independent. Then they were given photos of blonde and brunette women paired with a quote, such as "My staff knows who's boss" or "I don't want there to be any ambiguity about who's in charge." Suddenly there were big differences, with the brunettes coming in for harsh criticism, while the blondes were rated much higher on warmth and attractiveness.

In a Huffington Post interview, Berdahl is quoted as saying "If the package is feminine, disarming, and childlike, you can get away with more assertive, independent, and masculine behavior." In other words, having blonde hair appears to help women more easily navigate the double-bind of being seen as either likable or competent. In my undergraduate Gender & Society course we discuss how overtly feminine appearance work – or “aesthetic labor,” when that work is tied to the labor market – might be understood as a form of “female apologetic,” a gender strategy commonly associated with female athletes who strategically embody traditional femininity as a way to symbolically make up for their participation in stereotypically masculine sports.

I can relate to this. My hair own is naturally blonde, and I've long had a gut sense that I get away with more in terms of non-conforming gender behaviors because of my conforming fair skin and light hair. Looking “girly” (a concept which, of course, is not just about gender presentation but also race, class, sexuality and age), can serve as a social buffer when behaving, well, manly.

Berdahl and Alonso's research suggests this gut sense isn’t completely in my (tow)head. I've had (usually female) students come up to me at the end of a course to share that they wouldn't have taken my class – much less feminism – seriously if I hadn’t been "cute" and "fun." I love hearing that my classes are fun and engaging, but I HATE being called "cute." Cute is for puppies, not professors.

Indeed, one downside to being "a blonde" is not being taken as seriously. I feel like I have to be consistently articulate and "sound smart" in my professional life to keep colleagues and students from seeing me as I'm dumb or shallow. In fact, during my first semester of graduate school I darkened my hair to brown because I thought I would be taken more seriously. I’m not sure it helped. Maybe it did, but it came at the cost of feeling like myself. These days I instead lighten my hair to a purplish platinum (and I always wear "statement" glasses) because I think it helps me look a little more edgy and LESS "cute." I feel like myself, but it took a lot of overanalyzing to get here.

Despite my annoyance with the "dumb blonde" stereotype, having straight blonde hair is a privilege that has helped me navigate many social and professional relationships more fluidly than other women, especially women of color. That said - I abhor Zetlin's suggestion that all ambitious women should lighten their hair. For one thing, the science supporting this contention is incomplete. Berdahl and Alonso's fascinating research has only examined men's perspectives on women's hair color. Given the gender diversity of today's workplaces - as well as evidence that women may make appearance-related attributions differently than men - it is a mistake to believe that only men's perspectives matter. Further, understandings of "good hair" are not merely determined along gender lines, but are matters of race, class, gender, age, and other intersecting privileges.

Image found here.

For example, after presenting at an ASA panel on "Embodied Labor & Intersectional Inequalities" last summer, fellow presenter UVA grad student Allister Pilar Plater, and I discussed the observation that some professional Black women maintain chemically “relaxed” hair while climbing the corporate ladder, but transition back to their natural hair texture once reaching positions with greater power. What meanings and consequences come with natural hair for those Black women who choose it, and how are those meanings and consequences shaped by class status? The term “nappy” has often held shameful racist and classist connotations, but today the term has been reclaimed and embraced by some black women, from bell hooks who wrote the children’s boofk Happy to Be Nappy to the trending hashtag #NappyAndHappy. But can poor Black women claim #nappyandhappy in the same way as more privileged Black women? More intersectional research is needed before we can make confident claims about the multiple meanings and consequences of women's hair strategies (much less give proscriptive advice on what women should do).

The decision to "go blonde" or chemically “relax” hair incurs real risk alongside any potential upside. The expense, time commitment, and unknown risks of chemical exposure involved in high-maintenance hair color and/or texture might very well outweigh the social benefits any individual woman might hope to enjoy. Time, money and health are not minor sacrifices.

The upkeep of my own purplish platinum hair, for example, demands 2-3 hours of idle time every 6 weeks and costs more than my monthly gym membership. I justify it as an aspect of my "don't call me cute!" personal style, because time in the salon feels like self-care, and because it turns out that extremely damaged hair doesn't have to be washed as often as my natural hair texture (so I can make up for some of that time lost in the hair salon). I also believe – perhaps idealistically – that having purple-toned platinum hair is an expression of diversity rather than conformity (at least in the academy!), and that my visible non-conformity might have little consequence for me, while helping to make space for others. These are the things I consider in my most innocent personal calculations, but, of course, it is ultimately my class and race privilege that allow me to indulge in the considerable expense of "having fun with my hair" and "playing with color," while less privileged women – especially those whose natural hair color and texture are the opposite of mine – can neither afford such indulgences, nor are likely to find them quite so "fun" if they are pushed by the pressures of discrimination rather than pulled by the pleasures of aesthetic experimentation.

And here is where Zetlin is so wrong to say that, "women who want to be leaders should dye their hair blonde." Sure, there may be some sound personal "strategy" in doing so (alongside, of course, the risks), but viewing appearance discrimination as an individual problem that individual women should solve by changing their bodies is dangerously short-sighted. It's just one more "patriarchal bargain" that privileges some women (usually those already privileged) while perpetuating a fundamentally unequal system.

You Can Call Me ... PROFESSOR Gruys!

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 02 Jan 2017 21:43:00 +0000

Hello Everyone and Happy New Year!

I have an exciting announcement to share: I've joined the Wolf Pack! As of January 1st, 2017 I've OFFICIALLY begun my new position as Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Nevada, Reno. Yes, it's really happened! My graduate years (thanks UCLA!) and my post-doc years (thanks Stanford!) are behind me, and from this point forward you can call me ... PROFESSOR Gruys!

Over the next few weeks I'll be moving into my office at UNR and on January 24th I'll start teaching "Introduction to Sociology" and "Sociology of Gender." Next semester (Fall 2017) I'll teach a brand new graduate course on "Qualitative Research Methods." In this tough academic market I feel so blessed to have been hired to teach courses on topics I'm passionate about. And did I mention that my colleagues at UNR are some of the nicest (and smartest) folks I could have hoped to work with? Yes, indeed, life is good.

Come find me in my new OFFICE (not cubicle!) in Lincoln Hall.

So, yes, Michael and I have up and moved to Reno. It was hard to leave San Francisco, but we're close enough to visit when we want to, and we're enjoying settling into our new home here (twice as big as our SF place and half the price!). The snowy winter weather is taking a little getting used to, but the ski slopes are helping with that adjustment.

As for the boring practical stuff, my new work email is kgruys@unr.edu, though you can still reach me at KjerstinGruys@gmail.com as well. My Stanford and UCLA email addresses, however, are no longer in service. If you want to snail mail anything to me (congratulatory chocolate bars, etc.), here's my work address:

Dr. Kjerstin Gruys

Department of Sociology

Mail Stop 300

University of Nevada, Reno

Reno, NV 89557

And with that, I've got to get back to writing the manuscript proposal for my next book (more details forthcoming). I am, after all, officially on the "tenure track" so there's no time to waste. In the meantime.... Go Pack!!

Dear KJ: How Can I Overcome My Fear of Eating in Public?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 24 Oct 2016 13:00:00 +0000

Dear KJ: How do you get over your fear of eating in front of other people (at a restaurant or cafeteria, for example) after recovering from an eating disorder? (Originally posted HERE)

Image found HERE.

The experience of having—and recovering from—an eating disorder takes many forms, because many different kinds of people experience EDs. Many eating disorder sufferers experience crippling phobias and obsessive thoughts related to eating and body image. One phobia many people have heard of is having extreme fear of certain foods, or food groups. Another commonly known experience is one of obsessive counting, whether counting calories, carbs or minutes exercising.

Some less well-known fears, however, have to do with the social aspects of eating, which add an additional layer to an individual's struggles managing food or exercise-related symptoms. Eating is a social experience in most cultures, including in American culture. We see advertisements depicting big family meals as a time when people connect with each other at the end of the day. One of Normal Rockwell's most famous pieces features Thanksgiving dinner in this way. The common dating phrase "dinner and a movie" similarly links food with social connection, and pretty much every high school movie depicts the school cafeteria as a modern day Roman Forum! Suffice it to say, most of us associate eating with spending time with friends and family.

But eating socially can be a huge challenge for people who are suffering from or in recovery from eating disorders. Sometimes, this challenge is due to attempts to hide disordered eating habits from friends and family. Sometimes, those struggling eat in isolation not only to be secretive, but also to avoid scrutiny, critique or feeling freakish. It's also common for individuals with eating disorders to experience exaggerated feelings of being watched or judged while eating.

Once a pattern of eating in isolation has become a habit, the prospect of eating socially, or even of eating alone but in a public place, can trigger major anxiety, sometimes leading to panic attacks. Not everyone experiences this, but it's more common than most people think.

There are many well-researched approaches to overcoming fearful experiences. In extreme cases, such as when a person experiences panic attacks or if the social phobia begins to extend beyond just eating situations, it's almost always necessary to work with a therapist with special training on managing phobias. For cases that are less extreme but still distressing, here are some tips. First, when in recovery from an eating disorder, your first priority must be to take care of your body, even if this sometimes means neglecting social experiences. If your body isn't properly nourished and rested, your brain can't work effectively. If your brain isn't working effectively, your efforts on the psychological side of recovery will be even more difficult.

So, if nourishing yourself properly means missing out on a slumber party or two, so what? However, this only makes sense if you are actually able to nourish yourself in less social contexts. And it can't go on forever. At some point, whether it takes days or weeks or months, it's important to rejoin the social world of eating.

There are two strategies I've used when facing a fear. The first one is to deliberately—and in all seriousness—ask yourself, "realistically, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? How would I survive that?" (Note the choice of the word "realistically." That means you should avoid imagining scenarios of an asteroid falling on the restaurant, okay?)

Once you've answered this question to yourself, come up with a plan to survive it. Notice I did not say "come up with a plan to guarantee that this never happens!" Facing fears by avoiding them is what trapped in this situation in the first place. So let's try it: maybe your worst case scenario is that somebody comments on your eating in a way that is upsetting, whether it's a difficult relative or a nosy stranger. What would you do to survive it? Is there a phrase you could prepare in response, like "I know you think that commenting on my eating is helpful, but it isn't. Please give me some space."

Afraid that could be too difficult or awkward? What if your plan was to burst into tears and run out of the room? That doesn't sound fun, but could you survive it? Think to yourself, "Well, if I burst into tears and run out of the room I will probably feel really embarrassed, but I will survive. I will not actually be in any real physical danger." When I describe this strategy, some of my friends find it incredibly useful and calming to be so specific and methodological in their planning, but others find that it increases their anxiety to imagine possible worst-case scenarios. Only use it if it works for you!

The second strategy I've used is to convince myself that I'm just conducting a tiny little experiment, just to see what happens. To do this, ask yourself to take a baby step but nothing more. Perhaps you hope to someday go to a pizza party with your friends, but everything about it terrifies you (the pizza! the chaos! people seeing me eat! food decisions! strangers! ack!).

So, start really, really small, by just looking at the menu of a local pizza place and asking yourself what your favorite kind of pizza is. You don't have to go there. You don't have to order it. You don't have to eat it. You just have to take one small step toward these other things. If you can get through that first baby step, stop and observe the result of your experiment. Are you okay? Were you able to identify what kind of pizza you would like the most? Great! Now, the next step might be to go to the pizza place with no intention of eating there. Just walk by outside and look into a window. Still okay? Great. Next time you can go in, ask to see a menu (so you have something to say), and then turn around and leave.

The next step might be to go there with a very close friend or family member, but eat ahead of time, so all you have to do is sit in the pizza place while the other person has a slice. Or maybe the next step would be to go in by yourself to eat a slice of pizza on your own. Or maybe you'll ask for a slice of pizza "to go" and then eat it at home. Either way, the point here is to take very small steps without any expectation of doing more than that one step at any time. Then you take the next one, and then the next, and eventually you'll have "tested" each step of the way. This may sound excruciatingly slow or drawn out, but if it works, who cares, right?

You can do it!

Dear KJ: My Mother is Urging Me to Lose Weight for My Wedding. Help!

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 13:00:00 +0000

Dear KJ: I’m planning a wedding and my mother keeps telling me to lose weight to look better in the photos. How can I confront her about this without starting a fight? (Posted first HERE)

Image originally posted HERE.

Wow. I completely understand how you feel. In fact, the anxiety I felt about my body when I was planning my wedding was so intense that I ended up writing a book about it! I wasn't getting pressure from my mom to lose weight, but I was pressuring myself. You can read all about that in my book, or in this op-ed I wrote, but to answer your question I asked one of my sociology colleagues, Maddie Jo Evans, who is not only doing a research project on the wedding industry, but is also a wedding photographer on the side! Here's what Maddie had to say:

From what I have seen in my field work, in my interviews and as a wedding photographer, mothers and mother-in-laws seem to be the most likely to put pressure on their daughters/in-laws to lose weight. Many of the women I've spoken with have said that their mothers were the first to mention or "hint" that they ought to drop some weight for their wedding day. Most of them say that it is difficult for them to push back because their mothers are helping to pay for the wedding and the dress. Some brides even feel pressure to buy a dress in a smaller size than their current body.

Many brides say that their mothers have always been their biggest critics and many have dealt with their moms making remarks about their bodies throughout their entire lives, but things become amplified by the wedding. Being exposed to messages from bridal media, mothers, family members and partners make the idea of losing weight for your wedding a normalized and expected thing. Even women who were satisfied with their bodies on any normal day worried that their current body would not be good enough for their wedding day. This pressure can push brides into unhealthy eating and workout patterns.

My advice is to explain to your mother that you're is happy with the way that you look, and that you feel beautiful in your own skin. If you feel that you will be happy on your wedding day without losing any weight, then I hope you can respectfully tell your mother that and make it known that you aren't willing to change yourself for the expectations of others, even your mom.

Our culture teaches us that the only way to be a beautiful bride is to be a thin bride, and this simply is NOT TRUE! As a wedding photographer I can promise you that it is not weight loss, but happiness and confidence that make for the most beautiful wedding photos. Have a wonderful time!

Best,

Maddie Jo Evans

P.S. (from KJ) - Also, it might not hurt to remind your mother that all of this pressure for brides to lose weight is part of a huge wedding "industry" that makes gazillions of dollars by convincing brides AND their families that the only way to have a good-enough wedding is for everything to be perfect, from the dress to the decorations to the bodies of the people on display. This pressure is SO gendered. We assume that brides and their mothers are totally responsible for making sure everything is perfect, which is really sexist and stupid. But, given this, maybe your mom is feeling pressure from these cultural ideals, rather than from her own heart. She might even feel a sense of relief if you show her that your priorities are not about keeping up appearances, but about celebrating with your soon-to-be-spouse and family and friends. Assure her that she can help you have your dream wedding by worrying about what's best for you rather than striving for an impossible and expensive standard of perfection! - KJ

Dear KJ: How I keep college classes from unraveling my recovery?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Tue, 06 Sep 2016 00:16:00 +0000

Dear KJ: How I keep college classes from unraveling my recovery?

You may have heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” Usually, this is a true statement, but not always. SELF-knowledge, I would argue, is almost always empowering, but school learnin’ can occasionally push you in the opposite direction. I should know—between kindergarten and finishing my PhD I’ve spent about 25 years (!) of my life taking classes. Out of those years, over half were shared with an eating disorder, in recovery or post-recovery. Here are a few things that have been challenging to me along the way, specifically in relation to recovery, and how you might be able to address them.

Some classes can be triggering. Remember what I wrote above about SELF-knowledge being the most empowering? It’s self-knowledge that will help you avoid or at least disengage from classroom experiences (or entire courses!) that are triggering. While you’re still in active recovery, be wary of courses on topics that overlap with your eating disorder experiences. I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t ever take a course on, say, nutrition, but having an honest conversation with yourself (or your therapist) might reveal that some courses appeal to you precisely because they allow you to continue obsessing about food, exercise and body size stuff. I remember buying nutrition textbooks, thinking, “I’ll just replace my eating disorder with a 110% perfect ‘normal’ way of eating,” not realizing that in order for eating to be normal it cannot be anywhere near 110% perfect!

But here’s the thing—it’s rarely the course topic itself that is inherently problematic, but the style in which it is taught. If you’re interested in taking a course or two with triggering potential, it might be a good idea to get your hands on a syllabus. Some professors will provide "trigger warnings" to draw attention to course material that might be triggering to students who have had traumatic experiences, but don't depend on this. Many instructors strongly prefer to not provide them. Ultimately it is your responsibility to know the difference between course material that is challenging (good!) and course material that is triggering (not so good!). If you have concerns, speak with the professor to ask her/him whether or not any of their course material could be difficult for a person in recovery from an eating disorder. Even without specific training in body-positive teaching styles, most instructors will have a sense for how to answer this question.

Depending on the answer, you may opt to avoid the course, or you may become even more excited about it. You may also decide that most of the course sounds great, but that you’ll need to skip a day or two of class (I give you my permission!) if the lecture or readings seem triggering. Again, best to have a good conversation with yourself and/or your therapist.

The second challenge that classes present to recovery is simply that going to school, whether part time or full time, adds stress to your life. You’ll be managing lectures, homework, deadlines, grading, as well as the social elements of school. Having some stress in your life is normal and usually healthy, but this is not the best time to overwhelm yourself. Start out with what you think is a realistic course load, but don’t hesitate to drop a class if you notice that you aren’t able to keep up with your classes and also take care of yourself. Don’t forget to have some fun, too!

Dear KJ: How Can I Be a Body-Positive Role Model for Young Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 01 Aug 2016 17:38:00 +0000

Dear KJ,

What is the best thing I can do as a 20-something woman who has recovered from eating disorders to help young girls establish good body image? (originally posted here)

The best thing you can do to help young girls establish good body image is the same as what anyone else can do: be a role model for healthy body image and for having a healthy relationship with food. This means committing to talk about your body and other women's bodies in nonjudgmental ways, resisting fat talk, resisting diet talk and openly embracing and celebrating a wide variety of body shapes and sizes. Sometimes, this means faking it until you make it by resisting negative body talk and diet talk, even when you're struggling with negative body thoughts yourself. But, believe it or not, committing to being a role model for younger women can also empower you in your own health.

Learning to view myself as a role model for other women—particularly for my female college students—has been one of my most powerful tools for staying healthy and appreciating myself. To me, being a role model has never meant being "perfect." We have plenty of “perfect” role models out there in our popular culture of fables, fairy tales and romantic comedies, telling young women and girls that success, happiness and love can only be theirs if they look like Barbie dolls and make it their life’s work to please others.

Weird, nerdy girls don’t get the guy until they've had a makeover, which for some reason always involves ditching her glasses (What is it that they say? “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”)! This is not what I want for my students and other young women. I want them to take their unique lives, unique bodies and unique minds and stride confidently along their own paths. I want them to find love and embrace it, rather than doubt it. I want them to revel in their quirks, and say PHOOEY! to people and media who tell them they need to look or act a certain way in order to be happy. I can't truly encourage my students to do this while being a slave to the same systems I'm critiquing. (And it's not like students don't notice when their teachers are trying to look like Barbie dolls!)

Because of this, I think that imperfect women who have fabulous lives make great role models. So, when I consciously try to be a role model, I relish in being as vibrantly imperfect and quirky —yet successful, loved and happy—as possible. I believe that being a role model in this way is good for my students and the other young women in my life, and I know that it's been good for me. Numerous times when I’ve been tempted to go on a crash diet—or to otherwise look perfect and act perfectly composed and put together—I’ve talked myself out of it simply by reminding myself of how badly I want to prove to my girls that quirky, chubby, bossy, outspoken, clumsy, weird girls can absolutely achieve professional success, wonderful friends and fabulous love.

Fix your Face! (repost from Gender & Society)

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 02:27:00 +0000

(originally posted HERE at the Gender & Society blog)

Last fall, the New York Times ran an op-ed piece (here) about beauty, or really, about ugliness. The Gender & Society blog Erynn Casanova and me, to write responses to the article and comment on the 2013 book that prompted the NYT commentary. Both of our responses are below. What a fabulously fun intellectual conversation!

By Erynn Masi de Casanova

Ugly. Some words sound like what they mean. We avoid calling people ugly in polite conversation, but are usually bold enough to whisper it behind their backs. Julia Baird’s recent op-ed in The New York Times raises the question of how children are socialized into beliefs about and reactions to a less-than-lovely appearance. As a case study, she chooses a children’s book based on the real-life experiences of its author, Robert Hoge, which is a memoir recounting his childhood with a large facial tumor and distorted limbs. His book is simply titled Ugly. Baird wonders how children come to learn about and take part in a system of “looksism,” and “why we talk about plainness, but not faces that would make a surgeon’s fingers itch.”

Surgery came immediately to my mind on reading Baird’s column. Elective surgery to alter the human body’s appearance goes by many names. Plastic surgery emphasizes the malleability of the body and its parts. Aesthetic surgerymakes it sound as if we can turn our bodies into works of art. Cosmetic surgeryconjures makeup rather than sedation and scalpels. And while Baird acknowledges that surgeons might want to fix faces like Mr. Hoge’s, she doesn’t mention that the possibilities cosmetic surgery opens up also affect social judgements of appearance in everyday life.

If we stick with the example of “distorted” facial features, but consider adults’ rather than children’s reactions, we can imagine people thinking, “Why doesn’t he fix it?” Surgeries exist that can help people in their quest for a “normal” appearance, which some research has shown is a more common goal for patients than achieving drop-dead gorgeous glamour . Eschewing elective surgery seems like a conscious choice to live “with flawed features in a world of facial inequality,” as Baird puts it in her op-ed.

Here’s where the rise of what sociologist Victoria Pitts-Taylor calls “cosmetic wellness” comes in. In the United States and other wealthy countries, taking care of our health—and all the bodily practices that it involves—is now a requirement to be a moral person. Contemporary health morality pressures us all to monitor our health: this pressure and the blame it spawns are clearly visible in pop culture’s portrayals of obese people. We interpret an attractive appearance as evidence of physical and mental health. If looking good is health and being healthy is being a good person, then unattractiveness becomes an even bigger threat to social acceptance. Ugliness becomes as immoral and irresponsible as fatness or smoking cigarettes—also frowned on by the devotees of the new health morality. Good patient, good consumer, and good person are coterminous.

But “facial inequality” doesn’t exist outside of other kinds of inequality. Our financial resources limit our ability to participate in cosmetic wellness and health morality. Sometimes the answer to why he doesn’t fix it is that he can’t afford to. Elective surgery is expensive. Yet middle-class and working-class people pay in installments, take a second job, or cross national borders to be able to afford it. If a normal appearance can be bought, then those who aren’t able to buy it can be shunned. We begin to contemplate a future in which the high price of compulsory cosmetic wellness means that only the poor will be ugly. There’s nothing attractive about that.

Erynn Masi de Casanova is Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Cincinnati. She is the author ofMaking Up the Difference: Women, Beauty, and Direct Selling in Ecuador, winner of the National Women’s Studies Association’s Sara A. Whaley Book Prize, and most recently, Buttoned Up: Clothing, Conformity, and White-Collar Masculinity. She is co-editor (with Afshan Jafar) of the books Bodies without Borders and Global Beauty, Local Bodies.Casanova and Jafar also co-edit the book series Palgrave Studies in Globalization and Embodiment. She is a member of the editorial board of Gender & Society.

By Kjerstin Gruys (me!)

In the November 2014 NYT article, “Being Dishonest About Ugliness,” writer Julie Baird cites Australian author Robert Hoge, who argues that adults need to stop telling children that “looks don’t matter.” After all, he says, “They know perfectly well they do.” Instead of telling kids they’re all beautiful, we should “tell them it’s O.K. to look different,” and that, when it comes to physical beauty, children should “know that it’s just one thing in life, one characteristic among others.” In other words, it’s important for children to know that one does not need to be beautiful in order to find success, love and happiness.

Psychological research bears much of this out. Statistically speaking, beauty has only a negligible impact on overall happiness. For example, in one study, researchers found that, despite being highly-prized by respondents, physical attractiveness predicted only small variances in survey respondents’ reports of pleasant feelings, unpleasant feelings, and life satisfaction. In another study, participants were asked questions about their levels of happiness while, unbeknownst to them, their looks were being rated on a one-to-five scale by the research team (yes, this is kind of creepy, but let’s leave the methodological conversation for another day!). Those rated in the top 15% in terms of beauty were roughly 10% happier than those in the bottom 10%. Now, a 10% increase in happiness may seem pretty meaningful (I’d take it!), but be careful to remember that this means that the most stunningly beautiful people – the breathtaking outliers – are only 10% happier than the most profoundly unattractive.

“I’m happy to concede the point,” Hoge says, “that some people look more aesthetically pleasing than others. Let’s grant that so we can move to the important point – so what?”

People often state that, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but when the seemingly subjective concept – and social consequences – of “ugliness” maps again and again onto the bodies of poorer, fatter, and aging women of color, it’s time to acknowledge a broader structural problem. Yes, it’s important to help children develop healthy self-esteem and body image, but without addressing the power relations that drive our beauty standards, these efforts treat the symptoms rather than curing the disease.

Dr. Kjerstin Gruys is a Thinking Matters Fellow at Stanford University and a Postdoctoral Scholar (by courtesy) at the Clayman Institute for Gender Research, also at Stanford. Her research broadly explores the relationship between physical appearance and social inequality, with a particular focus on gender as it intersects with race/ethnicity, class, sexuality, and age. She is currently developing a book manuscript, tentatively titled: True to Size?: A Social History of Clothing Size Standards in the U.S. Fashion Industry.

Dear KJ: How Can I Talk to My Parents About Getting Treatment?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 11 Jan 2016 21:58:00 +0000

Jane Doe Asks: How can I open a conversation with my parents about getting treatment? (posted here first)

First, congratulations on deciding to take this important step in your recovery. It can be nerve-wracking to talk to your parents about getting treatment for an eating disorder. It’s difficult to tell parents about something personal, especially if it’s something you’ve been hiding from them, but your physical and emotional health must be the priority. Every family is different, so there’s no one perfect script that will work in every instance, but here are some ideas to get you started.

First, I suggest you do some journaling to collect your thoughts. What sorts of symptoms are you experiencing? How are these symptoms making you feel? What are you hoping to get out of the conversation with your parents? Do you want to see a therapist? Do you want to see your regular doctor? (Both are a good idea!) Writing down a short list of talking points will help you remember everything, and it will help you get back on track if the conversation takes off in a different direction.

Before speaking with your parents I recommend taking the NEDA Online Eating Disorders Screening. This quiz can help you develop a stronger sense of what’s going on, and sharing the results of the quiz with your parents is a great way to start the conversation. The results of the quiz may help your parents better understand what you’re experiencing, and they will also see that you’re taking this seriously. Once you’ve described your symptoms, it’s important to mention what kind of help you need, such as “I think I need to go to an eating disorders specialist” or “I’d really like to see my doctor about this.”

With luck, your parents will already be familiar with mental health concerns, including eating disorders, and will be comfortable helping you seek treatment. However, if your parents are less familiar or comfortable with mental health issues and treatment options, I suggest directing them to the Parent Toolkit on the NEDA website.

In my experience, almost all parents want to be supportive and are willing to learn about eating disorders to help their child. However, if you’re worried about how your parents will react, definitely tell them this in advance, and ask them to focus on being good listeners. If talking to them in person is too overwhelming, try writing them a letter instead. Hopefully reaching out to your parents will leave you feeling more supported. However, parents aren’t perfect and some are downright dysfunctional.

Therefore, if talking to your parents isn’t an option (or if you speak with them and it goes poorly), there are other sources of support available to you, such as a doctor or school counselor. Also, NEDA has a great program called NEDA Navigators, which connects individuals (aged 13 and older) struggling with eating disorders, or those supporting a loved one with an eating disorder, to volunteer NEDA Navigators who can share information, experiences and resources to help you figure out where to go next and how to get to recovery. You can find more information here.

Having big, serious conversations with your parents is never fun or easy, but seeking support from the adults in your life is a crucial step to getting healthy. I wish you the best of luck with it.

Dear KJ: How Can I Work for the Eating Disorders Recovery Cause?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 04 Jan 2016 18:51:00 +0000

What kind of Wonder Woman will YOU be?

"Jane Doe" asks: Where did you go to school? What are good programs for someone like me who wants to study the sociology of mental health, specifically eating disorders and body image? I struggled with my ED for years but can now say that I've been in recovery for five years. I want to devote my life to the cause, but I don't know how. (Originally posted at Proud2Bme.com)

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, I was an undergraduate at Princeton University, where I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in sociology and a certificate (equivalent to a minor) in gender studies. For my senior thesis I designed a study that examined body image among sorority women. I LOVED the experience of conducting my own research, but I wasn’t sure about continuing on to graduate school. Instead, I wanted a “cool” job, so I applied for positions in the cosmetics and in the fashion industries.

I ended up working at Abercrombie & Fitch Corporate, and then at GAP Inc. I enjoyed many aspects of this first career, but I missed the sense of excitement and purpose I’d felt when conducting research on topics I felt so passionately about. I also felt conflicted about working in an industry known for promoting narrow beauty standards (there are definitely ways to work in fashion without doing this, but I didn’t know that at the time).

And so I applied to sociology PhD programs, focusing on departments that had a strong reputation in research on gender, culture and the body. I ended up at UCLA, where I was able to work with Dr. Abigail Saguy, who does cutting edge research on gender, culture, inequality and bodies (among many other things!). It was a perfect fit for me, with fabulous training and many opportunities to conduct the kind of research I’m passionate about.

That said, a program that was perfect for me won’t necessarily be perfect for everyone. For example, you mentioned a specific interest in the sociology of mental health, which wasn’t my main focus, so I know less about programs with strengths in that particular area. However, the American Sociological Association lists a Section on Mental Health, which is a smaller organization made up of sociologists who share this interest. Their website lists more than a dozen sociology graduate programs that offer a mental health concentration, HERE.

As a sociologist, I’m naturally excited when someone expresses interest in my field, but I also want to make sure you know that there are MANY different ways to contribute to eating disorders prevention, treatment and recovery. I have friends and colleagues from all walks of life who have dedicated their careers to this cause, including: psychologists, therapists, physicians, activists, fiction writers, dieticians, nonprofit leaders, bloggers, politicians and, yes, even fashion designers! Whatever path you take, you will join a dedicated and diverse community. Welcome!

Dear KJ: Is it Possible to Love My Body at My Current Size?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 07 Dec 2015 23:05:00 +0000

Michelle asks: How can you reconcile needing to lose weight for health reasons with learning to love your body? Can they be done at the same time? (Originally posted HERE)

Image from HERE.

Paying mindful attention to what your body needs to be healthy is a critical aspect of loving it. Few things are worse for your health than feeling hatred towards your body, which is associated with all sorts of unhealthy behaviors.

So, the simple answer to your question is, YES, you can learn to love your body—an emotional and psychological process—while taking care of it, physiologically. Indeed, showing kindness to your body is often the first step to loving it, rather than the other way around. If we waited to be 100% in love with our bodies before treating them well, we’d be waiting a long time!

That said, I am curious to know why you think that you need to “lose weight for health reasons.” You see, our culture is quite obsessed with thinness, not only in an aesthetic sense, but in a medical sense as well. We are often told that it is impossible to be healthy at higher weights, which simply isn’t true. In fact, research shows that people who are categorized as “overweight” on the BMI scale have a LOWER risk of mortality than people in the “normal” weight category.

This finding is based on data collected on thousands and thousands of people, and it is statistically sound. That said, I’m not bringing it up to tell you that you should find a way to get yourself into the “overweight” BMI category, but because I want you to question some of the assumptions you may have about the relationship between health and body size/weight.

I’m a sociologist, not a medical doctor, so I cannot make determinations about your individual physiological health, but I encourage you to learn more about the Health At Every Size philosophy (which you can read about HERE), which contends that healthful habits are more important than the number on the scale. Below, I’ve copied 4 HAES principles, which I try to remember for my own health and happiness. Best of luck on your own journey!

1. Accept your size. Love and appreciate the body you have. Self-acceptance empowers you to move on and make positive changes.

2. Trust yourself. We all have internal systems designed to keep us healthy—and at a healthy weight. Support your body in naturally finding its appropriate weight by honoring its signals of hunger, fullness and appetite.

3. Adopt healthy lifestyle habits. Develop and nurture connections with others and look for purpose and meaning in your life. Fulfilling your social, emotional and spiritual needs restores food to its rightful place as a source of nourishment and pleasure.

Find the joy in moving your body and becoming more physically vital in your everyday life.
Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full and seek out pleasurable and satisfying foods.
Tailor your tastes so that you enjoy more nutritious foods, staying mindful that there is plenty of room for less nutritious choices in the context of an overall healthy diet and lifestyle.

4. Embrace size diversity. Humans come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Open your mind to see the beauty found across the spectrum and support others in recognizing their unique attractiveness.

Dear KJ: My Parents Won’t Accept My Gender-Nonconforming Appearance

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 22:58:00 +0000

Jean asks: So I choose to not shave my legs and wear boy shorts and get disapproving looks and comments from my conservative parents. How do you suggest dealing with familial pressure on gender-conforming appearance? (Originally posted HERE)

First of all, I applaud you for experimenting with your appearance and self-presentation. It’s only through trial and error (and success!) that we develop a sense for what feels most authentic. It’s unfortunate that you and your parents don’t see eye-to-eye on your choice of clothing and grooming, but I’m optimistic that you can work through this with both your sense of self and your family relationships intact.

Mainstream media images of beauty and style promote a narrow vision of what girls and women should look like in order to be stylish and attractive. Typically, the images we see present a very narrow range of body types (ultra-thin) and women are typically gender-conforming in their femininity. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with girls and women who happen to be ultra-thin and gender-conforming, but it’s highly problematic when the same images make up 99% of the women we see in mainstream media. With pressures like these, it can be hard to carve out a path of our own, one that allows us to feel comfortable in our own skin (and hair!).

But what should we do when the style and appearance that make us feel most comfortable makes other people feel uncomfortable? My answer is to consider each situation in its own context. For example, if you were on the receiving end of disapproving looks or comments from your peers at school, I’d encourage you to stay the course (assuming you weren’t breaking any laws!), to try to not worry too much about what other people think, but to speak with your parents, a teacher or a counselor if you felt bullied. However, it’s a bit trickier when the disapproving parties are your parents (particularly if you still live with them, which I am assuming to be the case). In this case, you need to consider your need for self-expression in relation to your desire for a positive and respectful relationship with your parents.

As a first step, find out what, exactly, is bothering your parents. Do they consider your appearance to be a sign of your respect (or disrespect) for them? Are they concerned that your fashion and grooming choices will cause you to be bullied or treated poorly by others? Are they worried that people in their social circles will judge them regarding your appearance? I can’t promise that your parents will be able to answer these questions, but it might be worth asking them and really listening to their concerns. Do everything in your power to stay calm during this conversation, even if you want to scream and stomp out of the room wearing combat boots! Listen more than you talk. Remind yourself that the conversation can continue at a later time, once you’ve given thought to what you’ve learned.

Once you understand their motivations, you’ll have a better sense of whether it’s possible to navigate the terrain in a way that makes both parties happy. Maybe they simply need assurance that you’re happy with your appearance (parents sometimes assume that dressing differently is a sign that you’re depressed or struggling socially). Perhaps the solution will be to dress however you want most of the time, but you’ll agree to dress more conservatively for events involving their social circle. Maybe you’ll decide to dress more conservatively when you’re with your parents, but dress as you like when you’re with your friends (this is the good ole’ “change clothes once you get to school” approach). This may be the best of both worlds, but keep in mind that this could damage your parents’ trust in you if they find out.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that they won’t be able to understand your perspective, and/or will refuse to accept your appearance. They might insist that you dress more conservatively and threaten to take away some of your privileges if you don’t comply. This will totally suck, and I’m sure you’ll start counting down the days until you’re able to start an adult life of living independently from your parents, when you’ll have complete freedom to dress and groom (or NOT groom) as your heart desires.

I realize that being flexible with your appearance might feel like you aren’t being true to yourself, but I encourage you to consider that your sense of style will likely change many, many times across your lifespan, as you encounter new trends, innovate with new looks, as you enter new social spaces and as times change. In the meantime, even if you decide to dress in a way that “preserves the peace” at home, I truly hope you won’t shave your legs, or anything else, if you don’t want to. It’s one thing to change your outfit; it’s another thing to change your body. I hope your parents can respect that distinction.

Introducing..... "Dear KJ"

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 09:00:00 +0000

Hi Everyone,
I'm very excited to announce that I'm partnering with the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and Proud2BMe with a Q&A advice column called "Dear KJ," for teens (and the adults who care about them) who have questions about body image, beauty politics, media literacy, eating disorder recovery, self-care, etc..

I've just finished my first month of answering weekly questions, which I've re-posted below in separate blog entries. (I'll be posting weekly from this point forward.) Sometimes writing about these issues from an academic perspective can feel a bit distant from the "real" world, so it feels great to be interacting with teens (and the adults who care about them!) more directly through this format.

Please submit any questions you'd like me to answer in the comments below!

Dear KJ: My Weight Fluctuates – Help!

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:00:00 +0000

Suzanne asks: What advice would you give to someone whose weight fluctuates? (First published HERE)

It’s hard to know exactly what advice to give someone who is experiencing weight fluctuations without knowing more details, but here are some thoughts. First of all, our weight can fluctuate several pounds in just ONE DAY, simply due to how hydrated we are, how much salt we’ve had in our meals and how much food we have in our digestive system, among other things. Many women also experience weight fluctuations due to hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle.

In all of these cases the weight gained or lost is mostly water and waste products that our body produces in its normal functions. These changes on the scale can happen pretty quickly, and they are totally normal. Sure, it might feel physically uncomfortable to wear tighter clothing when at the higher end of this natural weight range, but the solution here is simply to wear your “comfy pants” and get on with your day. I promise that no one except you can tell much of a difference between the highs and the lows.

Alternatively, some people experience weight fluctuations due to increasing or decreasing muscle mass and/or to changes in how much fat tissue we hold in our bodies. Sometimes these changes are simply due to healthy physical maturation, as we have growth spurts and move through puberty and into adulthood. For girls, puberty brings with it increased fat tissue in certain areas of the body, including breast tissue, hips, thighs and stomach area.

This, again, is usually normal, though it can feel alarming to find that your body has changed, seemingly overnight. Finally, weight can also fluctuate due to changes in diet and exercise, whether intentional or not. It’s a good idea to visit the doctor to check in about physical changes during adolescence, especially if you have questions about weight fluctuations.

Our body generally lets us know when we’re at a healthy weight, because our weight will stabilize at a point in which we eat when hungry, stop when full and stay active (though you will still experience some of the ups and downs as I described in the first paragraph!). Sometimes our weight fluctuates because we are trying to weigh less than our bodies want us to weigh. Dieting and extreme exercise regimes can often lead to “yo-yo” dieting, in which we lose and gain weight again and again, in a nasty cycle of under-eating and over-eating. This is the type of weight cycling that is not normal, and is certainly not healthy. Whether it’s 5 pounds or 50, when we push our bodies outside of their healthy range of weights, our bodies don’t like it and fight to get back to where they belong.

So how do we deal with this? First, accept that your body is supposed to fluctuate a bit, across the day and across months. Make sure to have clothes that fit you comfortably during your lower and higher weight days, and try to avoid getting too caught up in being a certain clothing size. I’ve developed the strategy of having 80% of my clothes fit me at my “average” weight, with 10% a size up and 10% a size down. This way I’m covered (literally!) across my whole size spectrum!

If you are losing or gaining weight in greater extremes or if you find yourself trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, it’s time to meet with your doctor and/or a therapist, who can help assess the situation more fully.

Dear KJ: How Can I Talk to Kids About Body Image?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 09:00:00 +0000

Kristal asks: What would you say to a young child who compares herself to what she sees in media? (First published HERE)

Dear Kristal, You are right to be concerned about this! Research has shown that when young and teen girls are exposed to media celebrating the “thin ideal” for women’s bodies—such as mainstream magazines, TV shows, and advertising—they experience increased body dissatisfaction, greater negative mood, higher levels of depression and lowered self-esteem. And these negative experiences aren’t limited to girls. Thanks to images of hyper-buff men in both media images and in “action figure” toys, 33-35% of boys aged 6-8 indicate their ideal body is thinner than their current body, and research further shows that boys exposed to hyper-sexual images of women may develop unrealistic expectations for romantic relationships with women. In other words, media matters.

But what can we actually do to counteract the negative effects of exposure to unrealistic media images? After all, it’s practically impossible to prevent kids from seeing these images, and even if we could lock our kids in the house watching only re-runs of Free to Be You and Me until they’re 18, they’d enter the adult world ill-equipped to deal with the social world. It’s a tricky situation, but here are my suggestions.

1) When kids start talking about media and comparing themselves to what they see, rather than simply disagreeing with them (e.g., “well that’s just not true!”) I encourage you to ask questions about what they’re seeing and how they’re thinking about what they see. What media are they viewing? Do they think the media is trying to send a particular message? What do they think of that message? Rather than being told what to think, asking questions encourages reflection and critical thinking. Also, try to avoid reinforcing unhealthy beliefs when talking about beauty. When a child comes to you distraught about not looking like what they see on TV, it’s tempting to say “well I think you’re beautiful!” or “don’t worry, you’re not fat!” but these types of statements, while soothing in the short term, ultimately reinforce the idea that it’s important to be beautiful and thin. I encourage you to instead celebrate the natural diversity of bodies in the world, of different shapes, sizes, colors, ages, etc.! Ask the child to think about all of the “real” people he or she knows and loves, and how different they all look. Reality is, after all, the best “reality check!”

2) Find alternative media. Avoid media that perpetuates gendered stereotypes or unrealistic body image, and seek out alternatives. Peggy Orenstein, author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter, a fantastic book about the “pinkification” of girlhood, points out that when searching for media alternatives we will be most successful if we “fight fun with fun,” and includes a great list of toys, clothes and media designed for girls aged 3-9 on her website. There also great alternative resources for boys. For example, a good friend of mine wanted to share his lifelong adoration of comic books with his 3-year-old son, Owen, but wanted to avoid violence, sexism and unrealistic images of hyper-muscular men and hyper-sexual women. It took some online research, but he found some promising options and went to the comic book store ahead of time to scout out the situation before bringing Owen along for comic-book bonding time. Oh, and let’s not forget that designating toys and media as “just for girls” or “just for boys” reinforces gender stereotypes, so by all means, mix it up!

3) Talk to your child’s school about including media literacy in their curriculum, whether through curriculum changes, by starting after-school clubs, or by bringing in workshops. A few great resources to learn more about this are about-face.org, commonsensemedia.org and therepresentationproject.com, which are organizations focused on media literacy. Finally, encourage your child to make his or her OWN media, by writing stories, drawing pictures, directing and starring in their own plays and (for older kids) using age-appropriate social media to share their media with the world. When kids create their own media they not only enjoy the power of writing (or rewriting) their own stories, but they also develop a more intuitive understanding of media as created rather than just appearing as some sort of "truth" about how things are or should be.

Check out our Digital Media Literacy Toolkit for specific ways to challenge problematic media campaigns and advertisements!

Beyond “Bossy” or “Brilliant”?: Gender Bias in Student Evaluations

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 17:38:00 +0000

By: Tristan Bridges, Kjerstin Gruys, Christin Munsch and C.J. Pascoe

Originally posted at Girl W/ Pen!

Not surprisingly, the new interactive chart Gendered Language in Teacher Reviews, drawn from RateMyProfessor.com (produced by Ben Schmidt—a history professor at Northeastern), has been the subject of a lot of conversation among sociologists, especially those of us who study gender. For example, it reminded C.J. of an ongoing conversation she and a former Colorado College colleague repeatedly had about teaching evaluations. Comparing his evaluations to C.J.’s, he noted that students would criticize C.J. for the same teaching practices and behaviors that seemed to earn him praise: being tough, while caring about learning.

We’ve long known that student evaluations of teaching are biased. A recent experiment made headlines when Adam Driscoll and Andrea Hunt found that professors teaching online received dramatically different evaluation scores depending upon whether students thought the professor was a man or a woman; students rated male-identified instructors significantly higher than female identified instructors, regardless of the instructor’s actual gender. Schmidt’s interactive chart provides a bit more information about exactly whatstudents are saying when evaluating their professors in gendered ways. Thus far, most commentaries have focused on the fact that men are more likely to be seen as “geniuses,” “brilliant,” and “funny,” while women, as C.J. discovered, are more likely to be seen as “bossy,” “mean,” “pushy.” These discrepancies are important, but in this post, we’ve used the tool to shed light on some forms of gendered workplace inequality that have received less attention: (1) comments concerning physical appearance, (2) comments related to messiness and organization, and (3) comments related to emotional (as opposed to intellectual) work performed by professors.

Physical Appearance

The results from Schmidt’s chart are not universally “bad” or “worse” for women. For instance, the results for students referring to professors as “hot” and “attractive” are actually mixed. Further, in some fields of study, women are more likely to receive “positive” appearance-based evaluations while, in other fields, men are more likely to receive these evaluations. A closer examination, however, reveals an interesting pattern. Here is a list of the fields in which womenare more likely to be referred to as “hot” or “attractive”: Criminal Justice, Engineering, Political Science, Business, Computer Science, Physics, Economics, and Accounting. And here is a list of fields in which men are more likely to receive these evaluations: Philosophy, English, Anthropology, Fine Arts, Languages, and Sociology.

Notice anything suspicious? Men are sexualized when they teach in fields culturally associated with “femininity” and women are sexualized when they teach in fields culturally associated with “masculinity.” Part of this is certainly due to gender segregation in fields of study. There are simply more men in engineering and physics courses. Assuming most students are heterosexual, women teaching in these fields might be more likely to be objectified. Similarly, men teaching in female-dominated fields have a higher likelihood of being evaluated as “hot” because there are more women there to evaluate them. (For more on this, see Philip Cohen’s breakdown of gender segregation in college majors.)

Nonetheless, it is important to note that sexual objectification works differently when it’s aimed at men versus women. Women, but not men, are systematically sexualized in ways that work to symbolically undermine their authority. (This is why “mothers,” “mature,” “boss,” and “teacher” are among men’s top category searches on many online pornography sites.) And, women are more harshly criticized for failing to meet normative appearance expectations. Schmidt’s chart lends support to this interpretation as women professors are also almost universally more likely to be referred to as “ugly,” “hideous,” and “nasty.”

Level of (Dis)Organization

Christin and Kjerstin are beginning a new research project designed to evaluate whether students assess disorganized or “absent-minded” professors (e.g., messy offices, chalk on their clothing, disheveled appearances) differently depending on gender. Schmidt’s interactive chart foreshadows what they might find. Consider the following: women are more likely to be described as “unprepared,” “late,” and “scattered.” These are characteristics we teach little girls to avoid, while urging them to be prepared, organized, and neat. (Case in point: Karin Martin’s research on gender and bodies in preschool shows that boys’ bodies are less disciplined than girls’.) In short, we hold men and women to different organizational and self-presentation standards. Consequently, women, but not men, are held accountable when they are perceived to be unprepared or messy. Emphasizing this greater scrutiny of women’s organization and professionalism is the finding that women are more likely than men to be described as either“professional” or “unprofessional,” and either “organized” or “disorganized.”

Emotional Labor

Finally, emotional (rather than intellectual) terms are used more often in women’s evaluations than men’s. Whether mean, kind, caring or rude, students are more likely to comment on these qualities when women are the ones doing the teaching. When women professors receive praise for being “caring,” “compassionate,” “nice,” and “understanding,” this is also a not-so-subtle way of telling them that they should exhibit these qualities. Thus, men may receive fewer comments related to this type of emotion work because students do not expect them to be doing it in the first place. But this emotional work isn’t just “more” work, it’s impossible work because of the competence/likeability tradeoff women face.

There are all sorts of things that are left out of this quick and dirty analysis (race, class, course topic, type of institution, etc.), but it does suggest we begin to question the ways teaching evaluations may systematically advantage some over others. Moreover, if certain groups—for instance, women and scholars of color (and female scholars of color)—are more likely to be in jobs at which teaching evaluations matter more for tenure and promotion, then unfair and biased evaluations may exacerbate inequality within the academy.

Dear KJ: How Can I Take Care of My Body Without Depriving Myself?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 09 Nov 2015 09:00:00 +0000

Janice asks: I don't believe in diets but I sometimes want to attempt some version of one or restrict, which can be triggering. I am not sure how to find a balance. I want to take care of my body but I don't want to deprive myself. Any advice?

We have something very important in common: I also don’t believe in diets. Well, to be more specific I don’t believe that diets work, at least in terms of long-term weight-loss, and tons of scientific research supports this fact. The weight-loss world is a $20+ billion dollar industry that completely depends on diets NOT working. I mean, think about it, if even ONE diet worked for most people, the weight-loss industry would crumble. We wouldn’t need a whole industry; we’d just need that one diet that actually worked. Too bad it doesn’t exist. Instead, literally thousands upon thousands of new weight-loss books and plans hit the shelves every year, all promising to unlock the secret of weight-loss, while accepting zero responsibility for failing 95% of the time, because it’s OUR fault for not having the “willpower” to eat nothing but cabbage soup for the rest of our lives! (BTW – Cabbage soup 24/7 is no life, and if the misery and crankiness didn’t kill your social life the flatulence certainly would!)

OF COURSE we feel tempted at times to diet and restrict, especially if we have a history of disordered eating. We’ve been indoctrinated to believe that we can’t be beautiful, worthy or loveable unless we’re as thin as possible. We’ve been led to believe that food and our appetites are enemies we need to fight and that taking pleasure in our food isn’t feminine or sexy (unless, of course, for those ultra-thin-yet-busty B-list celebrities in hamburger commercials). We’ve been (incorrectly) taught that dieting to maintain an unnatural low is healthy (it’s not), even though dieting and poor body image are associated with all sorts of negative health outcomes. Worst of all, we’ve been taught that it’s okay to hate ourselves if we don’t look like Photoshopped models, and that it’s perfectly fine to be cruel and hateful to anyone who isn’t thin.

Okay, okay, I’ll stop ranting. (Taking a few deep breaths…) Here are my suggestions:

1) Get angry. I’m not ranting about all of this to lecture you, I’m writing it in hopes that you’ll get as righteously ticked off as I am at our bogus, miserable, greedy and dangerous diet industry. Why do I want you to feel anger towards the weight-loss industry? That’s simple: anger is more powerful than fear, and it’s often fear that drives our urges to restrict food and “dabble” in dieting in the first place. Fear of not being in control, fear of being rejected for not being “perfect,” fear of being bullied, etc. You seek balance? Perhaps you’re thinking of a balanced diet (more of that below), but I say balance your fears with anger. Anger literally saved my life. I suffered from an eating disorder, and I felt like I’d never climb out of it. One day I decided I’d rather be an angry activist than a terrified victim. Did I ever feel triggered to diet again? Of course I did, and I still do sometimes. But instead of hating myself or my body, I direct those feelings of anger and outrage outward, towards the political and economic forces that benefit when women and men hate themselves. Try it sometime.

2) Find another outlet. Feeling triggered to diet or restrict is rarely about food, and almost always in relation to another stressor (or maybe dozens of them). Your first responsibility is to simply ask yourself, “What am I really feeling right now, and why?” Maybe this will come to you quickly (e.g., “I’m feeling anxious about school” or “I’m feeling frustrated about a relationship” or “I’m feeling upset about something that happened today”), but it might also elude you. Either way, if your first answer is “I’m feeling fat” I can tell you with complete certainty that “fat” is just psychobabble code for something else. Figure out what that is, and find another way to manage that feeling. I tend to feel better after talking to a friend or my sister, and if that doesn’t work I’ll write in my journal until I’ve exhausted myself.

3) Develop a more balanced relationship with food. What does a balanced relationship with food even look like? I can tell you straight away that it doesn’t mean eating perfectly at every meal or snack, even if there were an objective measure of perfect eating. Rather, balance is more about flexibility and trust. This means giving yourself the flexibility to eat a variety of foods in response to your feelings of hunger or fullness, and also in response to what’s going on in your life (e.g., if you’re running out the door it might make more sense to eat an apple and a granola bar than a sit-down meal). It also means trusting your body to make up for occasional over-eating or under-eating. Trust, by the way, comes from practice not perfection, so start practicing trust. When I’m out of whack with this stuff my mantra is “fake it ‘til you make it,” which helps me behave with flexibility and kindness to myself, even when I’m not feeling it. Sometimes your mind can change your behaviors, but other times your behaviors can nudge your mind back into a good place. Try it. Practice trust.

4) Seek treatment. Getting angry at the weight-loss industry, finding new outlets to manage triggering feelings, and practicing flexibility and trust are all awesome DIY approaches, but don’t hesitate to seek treatment with a therapist or physician who specializes in disordered eating if you’re still experiencing distress.

Dear KJ, What’s the Best Way to Overcome Emotional Eating?

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 09:00:00 +0000

Debbie asks: What’s the best way to overcome emotional eating? (first posted HERE)

Sometimes, after a rough day, scarfing down some deep-dish pizza until I’m in a “food coma” seems like the only way to quiet my mind. If I haven’t gotten enough sleep, cookies (or maybe a cold slice of that leftover pizza!) might seem like the breakfast of champions. The truth is that almost everyone occasionally eats/overeats in response to feelings of stress, anxiety or anger (or even joy and excitement), rather than out of hunger. Doing this occasionally is probably not worth beating yourself up about, but if you find yourself feeling “out of control” or miserable around food then it’s time to seek help.

Here are a few things you may find helpful:

1) Remind yourself that emotional eating doesn’t make you a bad person, it only makes you human. After all, humans evolved to crave high-calorie foods as a way to guarantee survival during stressful times when food was scarce. To make sure we don’t ignore or waste food, our bodies release “feel-good” chemicals, like dopamine, so that we feel pleasure in response to eating. These days our stress is not usually caused by food scarcity (unless, of course, you’re under-eating), but our bodies don’t necessarily know the difference. In other words, some aspects of emotional eating are built into our biology. Of course we have some control over how we manage stress, and how we respond when we do experience cravings, but feeling excessive guilt over something that your body is programmed to do just adds to the stress. When emotional eating happens, do pay attention to the circumstances leading up to it, but you should also try to forgive yourself and move forward, self-esteem intact!

2) Try to distinguish between hunger and emotional cravings. Our cultural environment can muddle up our hunger signals even more than the biology of stress. Nonstop food and restaurant advertisements send us thousands of mixed messages about what to eat and how, while a billion-dollar diet industry keeps us thinking that our perfect life is just X pounds away. This culture tells us there are “good foods” and “bad foods,” which makes every meal a high-stakes test of self-control. Screw that! That kind of black-and-white thinking is exactly what can turn a small serving of yummy ice cream into a “now that I’ve eaten this ‘bad food’ I may as well eat it all” binge session. But food isn’t the enemy, it’s our relationship with it that causes trouble.

If your stomach is growling and you haven’t eaten for hours it’s fair to assume that you’re experiencing biological hunger. However, sometimes neither of these things are true, but we still really feel like eating. What should we do then? I try to ask myself “what, exactly, am I hungry for?” If I could feel satisfied eating a variety of foods, I’m probably in need of a snack. However, if my answer is something along the lines of “PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!! AND NOTHING ELSE WILL DO!” I try to take a step back and check in with how I’m feeling, emotionally. Simply recognizing that I’m craving food because of my emotional state is often enough for me to redirect myself. Instead of ordering that pizza I might call a friend to talk about my day, goof around with my dogs, go for a walk or jog or write in my journal. Or, I might decide to…just eat the pizza and get on with my life.

Yes, you read that correctly: sometimes I make an intentional decision to eat “emotionally.” But, here’s how I do it in a way that works for me: I make sure to eat slowly and enjoy every single delicious bite.

3) Go ahead and eat that food you’ve been craving…but slow down, be mindful and ENJOY it!

Trying new dishes and savoring my favorite “comfort” foods is one of the greatest pleasures I enjoy in my life. But, for a long time, this enjoyment of food made me miserable. I spent almost a decade, in my teens and early 20s, fighting my appetite with rigid rules about “good foods” and “bad foods,” afraid that if I let myself enjoy food I’d lose control. After a lot of therapy and time practicing new behaviors and thoughts, I finally accepted that my black-and-white thinking was stealing both my health and my happiness. So I made a deal with myself. I gave myself permission to eat any food I craved, even if I knew that it was an emotional craving, as long as I ate it slowly enough to really savor it. I forced myself to chew each bite completely and swallow it before taking another bite. I deliberately considered my food using each of my senses, one by one. How does it look? What does it sound like to take a bite and chew this food? How does it smell? How does its texture feel in my mouth? And, of course, how does it taste?

Food isn’t the enemy; it’s our relationship with food that causes trouble. Slowing down to savor each bite completely changed my relationship with food and my own appetite. I quickly learned that eating super-rich food at every meal and snack doesn’t feel great to my body (heartburn anyone?!), and I also learned that it IS possible to grow tired of chocolate. I realized that I didn’t even LIKE some of my go-to “comfort” foods (this blew my mind!). By eating more slowly I gave my body the chance to let me know before I became uncomfortably full. Lastly, by intentionally savoring my food and eating it mindfully I actually get to experience the “escape” from life’s chaos that I really crave.

This approach helped me tremendously, but I couldn’t have gotten there without the help of several fantastic therapists and the support of my friends and family. If emotional eating is causing distress in your life, it’s important to bring up your concerns with your doctor, and I also encourage you to reach out to an adult you feel comfortable with (a parent, teacher, school counselor, coach, etc.). Ideally, your doctor and/or the other awesome adults in your life can help you connect with a counselor or therapist experienced in treating people with eating disorders/disordered eating. The experience of emotional eating is different for everybody, and a specialist will be most equipped to help you identify patterns in your thinking and behavior and to develop alternative strategies for managing your emotions.

Body Image Inspiration from Home Renovations & Artist Carol Rossetti.

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:05:00 +0000

Badass inspiring artwork above, by Brazilian graphic artist Carol Rossetti

Good morning everyone! I can't help but be joyful today because (1) Autumn - my favorite season - is finally in full swing here in San Francisco (I wore TIGHTS last week and ate OATMEAL for breakfast this morning!), and (2) I just spent an entire 3-day weekend sweating through home renovations. Yes, I realize "scrape off popcorn crap from ceiling" isn't at the top of most people's "super fun" list, but I LOVE sprucing things up and making them more functional and beautiful. Feathering the nest turns a house (or apartment) into a home.

There's a meditative quality to the way that the physical work of renovating distracts my mind from its usual to-do list cycling; in an uncrowded mind, new ideas and thoughts have space to emerge and be noticed. This happened yesterday. I contemplated my love for "home improvement" last night while sweatily tearing up base-boards with a crowbar, and it suddenly occurred to me that I used to reserve this kind of time, energy, and passion for various "self-improvement" projects, instead.

Before: My house, yesterday afternoon. Beloved chaos with "potential."
After?: Still TBD

The creative energy I now put toward home renovations used to be fully spent by my body and beauty obsessions. Two hours spent putting a fresh coat of paint on the walls used to be two hours researching, sampling, and buy "miracle" makeup or anti-aging treatments. Thirty minutes of rearranging furniture used to be thirty minutes of trying on different outfits each day, until I found something I liked "enough." Hours spent pulling up old carpet used to be hours spent each month tweezing, plucking, waxing, and shaving various part of my body; I now put "shave legs and pits" on my calendar for the 1st of each month, and I haven't been arrested by the fashion police yet! (The Carol Rossetti artwork I posted at the top of this post is gorgeously inspiring to my newfound razor-minimalism.)

Anyway... these days I still enjoy my makeup/fashion/beauty routines, but I've changed them so that they take up a lot less time and so that they feel more like creativity and self-care, than "required-before-I-can-leave-the-house." Speaking of leaving the house, once I'm done with all of these renovation projects - including a TBD fabulous home-office revamp - I'm not sure I"ll ever want to!

So now I'll ask you: where do you spend most of your creative energy? Is this where you want to be spending it?

PS - ONE MORE Rossetti image because it makes me happy!

Peace.

Inspired by Yoko Ono's "Mirror Piece" Poem

noreply@blogger.com (Kjerstin Gruys) — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 01:04:00 +0000

I'm no expert in poetry, but I do know what it feels like when writing resonates in the soul, when I consider a creative work and somehow feel more known, more centered, and more connected to the world.

Yoko Ono's 1964 poem "Mirror Piece" has that effect on me. It will forever be pinned on my inspiration board! I hope it inspires you too.

Does anyone know more about the context or history of this poem? I'm hungry for some knowledge!
PS - Thanks, Tessa, for sending this to me!

Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall Book Reading @ Books Inc. Opera Plaza - July 10th, 7pm

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 20:40:00 +0000

Looking for something to do tonight (7/10/14)? Join me at Books Inc., Opera Plaza, for a book reading of Mirror Mirror, Off the Wall. Sponsored by About-Face, 15% of ALL book sales (not just MMOTW) will benefit their programs to help girls build healthy body image and self-esteem. Hope to see you there! Here's the scoop:

Kjerstin Gruys, author of Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year

Thursday, July 10, 2014

7pm to 9pm

Books Inc. Opera Plaza,
601 Van Ness Ave., San Francisco

see map below

About-Face is proud to co-sponsor a special book reading and benefit with Books Inc. Opera Plaza featuring author Kjerstin Gruys. A former market researcher and merchant in the fashion industry plus recent Ph.D. graduate from the Department of Sociology at UCLA, Kjerstin shares Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year. Part memoir, part women’s studies, Kjerstin’s observations offer an important look at body image and how women view themselves with society’s standards in mind.

Please join us for the chance to meet the author, hear a wonderful book reading, and enjoy the opportunity to have your copy of Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall signed! Copies of the book will be available for sale during the event, so please consider purchasing your copy and gift copies at the event (amongst other book shopping) to support your local Books Inc. store and About-Face.

During the event, Books Inc. will donate 15% of ALL book sales (not just sales of Mirror Mirror Off the Wall) to About-Face.

Admission is free for this event, and parking is available in the building.

Note for parents: This event is appropriate for adults, pre-teens, and teens, too!

RSVPs appreciated but not necessary. Click here to RSVP.

Map of event location:

For further information, call our office at (415) 839-6779 or e-mail About-Face.

Paperback Release of Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall is July 1st!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 19:33:00 +0000

I'm so excited to share the news: the paperback release of Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall is July 1st. Join me that evening at 8pm EST for a kick-off live TweetChat hosted by the Academy for Eating Disorders (#AEDchat). More info at the end of this post.

Check out the fabulous new cover design!

Here's the scoop on the AED TweetChat:

It's easy to join in the #AEDchat! - Try it!

1. Login to Twitter with your Twitter account.*

2. With your Twitter account already running, you'll open up Twubs at: http://twubs.com/AEDchat. ("Twubs" is the site you can login to and use during the chat. It will allow you to participate and watch all the action!)

3. At the bottom of the page, click the Twitter badge that says “Log in with Twitter,” and then click “Authorize app” to allow Twubs to read/send your #AEDchat tweets.

Note: Twubs will automatically add the #AEDchat hashtag at the end of everything you tweet, so no need to do this. However, you will need to check the length of all of your prepared responses to make sure there is room for Twubs to add the #aedchat hashtag at the end (in other words, Twitter allows you 140 characters for each tweet, so you’ll have to subtract eight characters for "#AEDchat" hashtag in order to be under the limit for your tweets).

*Don't have Twitter account yet? You can create one here. #AEDchat

See you there!

It's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week! (And I'm on TV!)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 23:02:00 +0000

Feels great to officially kick off NEDAwareness week. Don't forget to join me tonight at 8PM EST for a Twitter party hosted by Adios Barbie and the National Eating Disorders Association. I'll be one of the four panelists, tweeting at #AdiosED!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, check out my interview with San Francisco's ABC7 "Beyond the Headlines" show. I'm featured in "Part 2" of the four segments, but all of them are worth watching. See below for my segment, and click HERE for the full show on ABC's website!

What a great turnout of San Francisco's finest body image activists! :)

It's almost National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and I'm Getting Psyched!! (and busy)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 02:12:00 +0000

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDAwareness Week) 2014 is almost upon us! The official dates are February 24 - March 2, and I've got a busy week lined up.

Expect timely blog posts right here, of course, and please mark your calendars to join me for the #AdiosED Twitter Party on Monday 2/24, from 8-9PM EST. I'll be joined by a panel of other activists and mental health professional who can answer your questions and help clarify common misconceptions around eating disorders. The other panel members are Brain Cuban (@briancuban), Melissa A. Fabello (@fyahmfabello), Anne Wennerstrand (@endgrdbodiesnyc) and Mae-Lynn Reyes Rodreguez (@MLReye_PR). Feel free to tweet any of us directly during the chat with your questions about our work, or field of expertise. To learn more about the panelists, click here.

Finally, at the end of the week I'll be hopping on a plane to Tennessee, where I'll be giving a set of talks at UT Chattanooga on March 3rd. In addition to a luncheon and book club meeting where I'll discuss my book, Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall, I'm leading an event titled "Feel Good Naked with Kjerstin Gruys." Yeah - you read that title correctly. Grandma's Ruth and Rita, have no fear. I will be fully clothed, as will my audience. I'll be talking about body image and body confidence. Can't wait!

Also, while we're on the topic of UT Chattanooga, I just found out that my fabulously brilliant sister-in-law, Mandy A., has been accepted into UTC's competitive veterinary residency program. Soooo.... GO MANDY and GO MOCS! That is all.

Oh wait, sorry: that's not all.

How will YOU be celebrating NEDAwareness Week 2014? See you there!