What are you grateful for?

Take a second and think about it.  Really think.  Your family and their health probably come first, right? Then your home and your job, whatever that job may be (even if it sucks).  Right?

But then what?

Some days it may take a little more thought.  You know the type.  For me it was this morning, when I got splashed by a passing car in the pouring rain and my pants were soaked through.

These are the days when gratitude is a challenge.

One concept I keep coming across in all of my studying is the importance of having an attitude of gratitude – for all things.  Even the things that seem crappy at first glance.

The tricky part is retraining your brain to pick up on the things to be grateful for by seeing beyond the surface.  Most of us are habitually negative without even noticing it.  We get annoyed by people holding up a line we’re in, or at having to spend money on an unforeseen repair.  We’re in such a hurry to get to the next thing that we don’t notice now.

One way to change your attitude is to keep a gratitude journal.  There’s a great iPhone app for it which I use every day, throughout the day.  At first I’d write things like “I’m grateful for the beautiful weather”, or “I’m so glad it’s Friday”.  And these are totally legitimate things to be thankful for (especially the Friday part).

Now, though, I’m trying to go deeper.  Instead of being irritated at shelling out money for new glasses, I wrote “I’m grateful to have the money to be able to buy new glasses without thinking about it – we’re so blessed”.  Other examples: “I’m grateful for feeling so happy today”…”I’m grateful for the inspiration that keeps flowing my way”…”I’m thankful for the people who remind me to not take myself so seriously”.

This kind of thinking works on two levels.  First, it encourages a shift in focus which can lift your spirits instead of crushing them.  This good feeling trickles down through all areas of your life, and only good things can come from that.

The second level is even better:  When you feel grateful, the universe hands you more and more things to be grateful for.

In a clip I listened to yesterday, Louise Hay put it like this: If someone gives you a gift and you complain about it and show no gratitude, what are the chances that this person will ever give you a gift again? Meanwhile, if you praise the gift and the person giving the gift and show how happy you are, this person is going to want to keep giving you more and more.

Doesn’t that make sense? The universe (God, Higher Power, Holy Spirit – whatever you call It) wants to give us things that bring us joy and abundance.  What we give thanks for, we receive more of.  So if we live in a state of peaceful, happy gratitude (and are certain of why we feel this way), we’ll be blessed with more and more.

Give it a try.  Find the blessing in everything.  You’ll start coming up with all sorts of things to be grateful for.  And you’ll never be sorry you did.

What are you grateful for? Can you think of ways to turn an irritation into a blessing?

Should I hit "publish"? Will my readers like it?

What if no one cares anymore?

No one is going to want to read about this.

This is too far out there.  It’s not who you are as a blogger.

Stick to food, girl.  And make it good.

Do you really think people want to read about this nonsense?

There is so much going on in my head and my heart right now, friends.  So many new ideas, discoveries, messages.  I’ve been having “Duh!” moments left and right, and not for my normal goofed-up reasons.  Now it’s because so much of life is becoming clearer, every day.

And I want to share it with you.

I want to share stories like how I cried on Sunday because I wanted to eat “normal” food again so.darn.much.  Or how I realized that I started using this new diet as a way to punish myself, just like I punished myself by overeating in the past.  Or how I came across a great new teacher with a message that resonates with me.

But I don’t.  Because I’m afraid to.

It’s easy to become pigeonholed as a blogger.  It’s why I wanted to avoid a niche for so long.  I didn’t want to be defined by just one area of my life.

And even though I have started (finally) looking at new, GAPS-friendly recipes, I’m hesitant to share them when the time comes because they’re not my old style.

No one will care.

But I’m evolving.  I can’t help it.  We all evolve as people.

Is it okay for us to evolve as bloggers?

All I know is, this self-censorship is stifling me creatively.  I finally put two and two together earlier today, making the connection between my energy nosediving and the fact that I still feel like I can’t be fully and completely me.

On my own blog, of all places.

This is the same sort of fear that’s held me back throughout my life, and a large chunk of what I’m writing my book about.  That common fear of expanding, growing as a person.  Listening when the ego tells us that no one will like us anymore if we change things up, even if those changes are good for us.

Allowing those scary stories to hold us back, stifle us, prevent us from living in our truth.

The worst part is, it’s not as if we can just turn our backs on who we need to be and get on with life as-is.  It might work for a while but that longing, yearning feeling, the certainty that this is not who we’re supposed to be, shows up in other areas.

In my case, my creative energy has been non-existent the past couple of days.  In related news, I’ve been on Twitter a lot more.  So there’s that.

As of today, though, I give myself permission to be free and evolve, both personally and as a blogger.  I can’t let my blog define who I am and where my time should be focused – that’s totally backwards.

I’m giving myself permission to shine.  So grab your sunglasses.  Cuz you’re gonna need them.

Have you ever been afraid to evolve as a blogger? Do you feel like you need to stick to certain topics or else your readers will jump ship?

*See what I did there?

Photo via Creative Commons

You may have noticed that I haven’t been around much lately, either here or on your blogs.

I’m sorry, I really am.  It’s not that I don’t love you (I do!) or that I don’t care what’s going on with you (I super do!).  I’d love to be out there, giving you support or laughing at your hilariousness.  I really would.

I even have a few posts in draft form and just need to actually, ya know, post them.  I still want to share my experiences without sugar/starch, and how I prepare my “staple” foods.  Coming soon, I promise.

So where have I been?

Unlike in my past, uh, hiatuses, this isn’t because I’m sick or because of any drama or trauma.  I actually feel freaking fantastic right now. I believe that my diet is already helping me, along with meditation and other techniques I’m learning about and working on.

Here’s the truth: I’m birthing a baby of sorts right now.  No, not a human one.  A book one.

Yes! I’m writing a book!

All I want to say about it right now is that it’s non-fiction, based on helping others to get through issues which I’ve been working on for my entire life.

I’ve been so lucky in the past two months.  Thanks to the beautiful Erin, I was led to Amy Oscar and her Soul Caller Circle.  This Circle has inspired me and led me to work on so many things in my life – and the best part is, the more I learn, the more I’m led to new teachers and their wisdom.

I’m finally understanding how I can use my talents and experiences to help people, which is what all I’ve wanted to do for my entire life.

I have literally never felt so inspired and driven.  I am all about this right now.

I spend a little time every day telling myself it can’t be done – I’m not a professional, I have no credentials – but I know that’s just fear talking and I push it away.  I know there’s a way I can make this happen, because the end result is a desire to help people who are struggling with the same issues I’ve struggled with.

Not to be rich or famous.  Just to help people.

But rich and famous wouldn’t hurt.  #justsayin

By the end of the day I’m completely wrung out but I feel like I’m doing something special.  Even when I’m physically exhausted I feel mentally energized and positive, looking forward to another day of learning and writing.  Actually looking forward to tomorrow – something I can admit I haven’t done in a long time.

Except on Christmas Eve.  Duh.

Does this even sound like me? I’m sitting here laughing at myself because I’ve never felt like this or sounded like this before – at least, I may have talked about being jazzed over a project or new idea, but I’ve never had such conviction that the universe was fully behind me.

What did Oprah call this? An “A-Ha” moment?

FYI, I snickered when I typed that.  Rest assured, I haven’t changed so much after all.

So that’s that.  I’m writing, and trying to check in on y’all on the Twitter when I can, and reading & commenting whenever I get a chance.

I’ll be posting whenever I can, though maybe not more than once or twice a week for now.  But who knows, maybe I’ll feel a burst of inspiration here, too.

And I love you guys.  #thatisall

Nope. Not happening right now.

Last summer, I joined the lovely Galit of These Little Waves as she started the 17 Day Diet.  (Psst…she’s had terrific success with it – check out her progress!)

The first cycle is, how do I say it? Restrictive.

I was an unhappy camper.

The first week went fine.  I stayed strong.  The second week…well, let’s just say that by Friday I was jonesing for some CARBS.

And so I did it.  I indulged.  To put it mildly.  Dinner was pasta and bread, and for dessert I had a milkshake.

The next morning, I felt like I’d been hit by a truck.  I was groggy, bloated, nauseous and completely devoid of energy or, frankly, the will to live.  It was a mess.  And it felt familiar.

Then I thought back to the previous weekend.  I’d felt amazing.  I had energy to spare.  That Sunday I’d woken up at 5AM, wrote for hours, and was actually sorry that I’d done all the chores on Saturday because I was practically jumping out of my skin with energy.

Dead serious.

This was a mega-breakthrough.  Maybe carbs really were the devil, at least for me. They sapped me of my life force, especially when eaten in large amounts (and, let’s face it, I rarely eat carbs in moderation.  I won’t lie).

Also not happening.

The sad fact was that I was so used to feeling like garbage, it had become second-nature.  The way I felt that first weekend was like a miracle compared to my “normal”.  I just never knew that I could actually feel good.

I’d like to say that I stuck to the program but you know that’s not true.  I fell off the wagon and into a bakery.

So here I am again, this time on the GAPS Diet.  No starch or sugar.  I’m not gonna lie, I strayed over the weekend, but got back to it.

And you know what? I feel good again.

Granted, I’m still going through the whole sluggish “my body is addicted to sugar and now I’m not giving it any and zzzzzzz…..” thing, which I hope ends soon.  But otherwise I feel a million times better than my old “normal”.

I guess it's okay that I can't eat these.

Brain fog? Gone.

No more bloat.  I didn’t realize prior to this just how often I felt like a cow because I was so bloated.

I don’t feel nauseous and heartburny when I wake up in the morning anymore.

3:00 isn’t such an issue for me anymore.  I don’t have to fight off the urge to take a cat nap in the ladies room.

And my mood is improving every day.  I don’t feel so negative – even when I’m craving something on my “no-no” list.  Slowly but surely I’m climbing out of my depression and into the sunlight.

It’s actually turning out to be kinda fun to learn more about myself, rather than just shoving food into my mouth and coping with the results.

Do I claim that experimenting with eliminating certain foods from your diet will do the same for you? No.  I don’t know you like that.  I’m not a doctor.

But I’m challenging you, here and now, to give it a shot.  Just for a few days, avoid eating a certain thing, be it sugar or pasta or bread or dairy or diet soda.  See what happens.  You may be surprised.

If you do, let me know how it goes!

What could you stand to eliminate from your diet?

Photo via Creative Commons

Newsflash: I haven’t posted a recipe (or anything else) on here in a while.  Yes.  I know.

This is mainly because I’ve been spending time experimenting with a new method of cooking.  And because, well, I haven’t exactly been walking on the wild side with my diet, thanks to GAPS.

In the first stages and throughout the diet, homemade stock is key.  Making a good stock is easy and I plan to share my experience with you soon.  I ate a lot of boiled chicken and mashed vegetables last week.

Soon I added eggs.  It’s a good thing I like eggs.  I ate a lot of them.  I ate two today, in fact.

I also made yogurt! And it was super easy and waaaaaay cheaper than buying it at the store.  I’m definitely going to blog about that after I make it again.  You need to know how easy it is – no yogurt maker needed.

And my personal favorite: Homemade sauerkraut.  Seriously, y’all.  So easy and so yum.

The yogurt and sauerkraut are important because one of the cornerstones of the GAPS diet is repopulating the gut with healthy bacteria, and fermented food is where they’re at, y’all.

Now that I’m moving towards the “full” diet the limitations on what I can eat are going to lighten a lot – of course, still no sugar or starch – so I’ll be able to expand and try new recipes and even create some of my own.  I’ve been thinking a lot about where I can go with this and am super excited about it!

Tomorrow I want to share with you how I’m feeling – and how experimenting with the elimination of certain foods might help you, too, even if you’re not trying to heal from a disease.

Have you ever experimented with elimination diets? What did you find out?

FIL wasn’t exactly the outdoorsy type – unless it had to do with golf.

I had a million ideas on how I wanted things to look, and I still do.  Of course life gets in the way and plans take a back seat, but we’ve made progress here and there – putting in a shed, planting tomatoes and herbs, pulling out dead bushes.

One thing which really irked me to no end was the carpet of dead needles which covered the perimeter of the yard.  Yeah, the trees are pretty and blah blah blah…but they’re such a pain.  They cover the ground with needles and pine cones and kill the grass.

We don’t live in the woods, people.  We live in a development in New Jersey.

Finally I decided that I’d had enough of them.  And I started raking.

Two days and 25 bags of needles later, I’m only 3/4 of the way through.

Seriously, people.  I’m not exaggerating.  A carpet.

(Oh, and did I mention how this was during the first two days of my new eating plan, meaning no sugar or bread or anything that makes life fun? Yeah.  It was a good time.)

But the psychic weight of those bags was greater than what I took to the curb.

I don’t know what it is lately, this need to clean things up.  Granted, I always feel this way in the spring.  But this is different, heavier.

Maybe it’s really the need to get on with life and stop waiting for “something” to happen.

How many of us spend time waiting for that magic “something” that’s going to make everything better? The “something” that will unlock our potential or give us the green light to move forward with our dreams?

Are we waiting for permission? Or for someone to make a decision for us because we’re afraid that our choice will be the wrong one?

I want to live a beautiful life.  I want an oasis for myself, a sanctuary where I can relax and enjoy and breathe.  So what am I waiting for? I bought three rose bushes.  And I picked up a rake.

I kept my head down and worked and before I knew it what seemed insurmountable (a carpet, people) was accomplished.  At least 3/4 of the way, which is better than not at all.

What else can I pick up and get started?

Because no one can make my life happen but me.

What’s holding YOU back? What can you pick up and get started today?

Photo Credit

Friends, I’m on the verge of a major journey.

I’ve spoken before about my illness and the steps I need to take in order to function better and, if possible, heal.

Only problem is, UC is an autoimmune disease, and there’s no coming back from that.  Masking the symptoms and striving for remission through drugs and other methods is the only way to go.

Well guess what? That’s not good enough for me.

Recently I was blessed to be introduced to The GAPS Diet.  Basically it stresses a grain-free, sugar-free lifestyle in order to allow the intestine to heal and seal itself, while at the same time focusing on repopulating the gut with healthy bacteria in order to put things in better balance.

It makes sense that the only way to stop the symptoms is to heal the gut.  Doesn’t it?

So over the past several weeks I’ve been doing a lot of research, reading a lot of blog posts and articles, watching hours worth of videos from doctors and diet devotees alike.  And all signs point to me diving into this new lifestyle.

The good part is, it’s not for life.  Most people see results within 2-3 years and can slowly reintroduce “regular” foods after that.

The yucky part is…well, you’ve met me, right? This is primarily a food blog.  I like pasta.  And chocolate.  And buffalo chicken.  And pasta again.

And like I told Rob last night, even though I might only eat a cheesesteak once or twice a year (and that’s a generous estimate), knowing that it’s out there if I want it is comforting.  Knowing that I absolutely can’t have it is the hard part.

No flour, sugar, yeast, cured meats, chocolate (though there are conflicting stories on cocoa powder, but even then that’s an advanced food), almost nothing mass-produced or pre-packaged.  As we’ve seen in the news a lot lately, sugar is in just about everything.

I’m not gonna lie.  I’m grieving a little.

It helps that I love to cook, right? Mama’s gonna have to get creative up in here.

In the dark times, and I’m sure there will be many, I’ll need to remember that nothing is worth feeling this way.  Nothing is worth the shame and embarrassment and pain and despair.  The exhaustion and depression and fear while living with this disease.  Absolutely nothing.

I hope to share this journey with all of you and that I can help others who are going through the horrors of UC or any of the other ailments which GAPS is supposed to be able to treat.  I hope you come along with me.

Do you have to follow a special diet? Have you ever considered it?

I’m Pouring My Heart Out with Shell today – thanks again, friend!

I’ve posted about this beouf bourguignon before.  I know.  And incidentally, if you want a good Before & After of a blogger’s journey through the years, check that link out.  I’ll wait.

See what I mean?

This recipe deserves another post.  In fact it deserves songs written about it and a book deal which can be turned into a movie or at least a miniseries in which it is the star.

But I’ll just stick to another post.  For now, anyway.

I can’t even quite describe what a big fat deal this dish is.  It’s just unlike any other stew I’ve ever eaten.  And I’ve eaten my fair share.

Rob always describes it as “rich”, which is a fact.  There is such a lovely depth of flavor happening.  I mean, come on.  Bacon.  Red wine.  Beef.  There’s no going wrong.

Did I mention there’s bacon? Oh, I did? Okay.

Confession time: I don’t follow Julia Child’s beouf bourguinon recipe to the letter anymore. I’ve put my own “Jen” spin on it.

Translation: I’m too lazy to do it Julia’s way.

But my husband sure doesn’t seem to mind.  Neither does mah belly.

There’s one step I never skimp on, though.  That would be the browned mushrooms.  Oh my goodness.

I’m the only person in the house who eats them.  Notice how un-sad I sound when I say that?

All.for.me.

The mushrooms are just browned up in butter and olive oil with some parsley thrown in.  And yet they are so, so special.  I Instgrammed this photo and it was agreed – there are many of us who would just eat these for dinner.

And then there’s the brown braised onions which normally go with the dish.  I make them if I’m feeling fancy.  If not, no biggie – I just eat the onions which cooked in the stew.

I really fly by the seat of my pants, don’t I?

Anyway, I don’t say “this is the bomb” very often (because there is no way to say that without sounding corny), but this is in fact THE bomb.  It is close-your-eyes-in-blissful-tranquility delicious.

It also helps that I generally serve this over brown buttered egg noodles.  Oh yeah.

I mean, seriously.  Just look at it.  There’s nothing more to say, is there?

You want this.  You need this.  You will have this if it’s the last thing you ever do.  Because you’re worth it.

Sharing at these awesome blogs!

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As bloggers, there’s one thing we have in common.

And it’s not a lack of quality sleep when reading “just one more post” turns into three hours of getting lost in our readers.  Though that’s been known to happen, I’m sure.

We always want more, or at least wish for it.  Be it more subscribers, more comments, more followers, more pageviews, more interaction, more opportunities.

Don’t you? I mean, I do.  I’ll be honest.

Otherwise why do we blog? Certainly there’s something to be said for sharing a part of ourselves with others, and supporting them in return.

But that’s the thing.  We want to share with people.  Or else this would be called a journal and it would sit on the nightstand.

So an audience helps.  A large, engaged audience helps even more.

What happens, then, when a blogger is trying to grow their blog and the time comes to set a goal?

Because I still want to grow and build and reach and stretch myself in new directions.  And to do that, I need a goal and then a plan.  There has to be a destination in sight before you can map out the route.

But what’s the difference between a goal and a fantasy? What’s reasonable? What’s attainable?

Once a goal is set, what’s the most efficient way to get there? And what happens after that?

Is there ever an end?

I’ve said it many times: I had no idea what blogging entailed when I started this blog three years ago.  I had no goals and no plans.

Things have changed, of course.

But still I work in generalities.  More is good.  Bigger is better.  That’s pretty much as concrete as it gets at the moment.

Now to figure out what that means and how to get there.

Maybe one day I’ll figure out what “enough” means.

Tell me: What is YOUR enough when it comes to blogging? Have your blogging goals evolved with time?

I’m Pouring My Heart Out with Shell over at Things I Can’t Say.

If I had a will, I’d have to leave a small part of my ill-gotten gains to one of my favorite food bloggers.

Her name is Brandie and she blogs at The Country Cook and she helped make these biscuits a reality and honestly, is there anything else I need to say?

Yes, I know I need to make up a will.  I’ll get around to it, Judgypants.

First I need to make and eat more biscuits.  This is how my priorities fall, people.

They’re probably the easiest things in the entire world.  The biscuits, I mean.  They don’t even need to be rolled or patted out and cut.

Microwave butter right in the baking pan.

Mix together the other ingredients just until they’re combined.  Be careful not to overwork the dough because much like with brownies, overworking leads to toughness and nobody likes a tough biscuit.

And this leads me to an important part of the recipe.  It calls for buttermilk, which is thicker than “sweet”, aka regular, milk.

Don’t have buttermilk? Easy substitution time! If this were a YouTube video, this is the part where I’d use some funky dance music and cut to a quick series of shots of me dancing.

Pour juuuust slightly less milk than you need, then add white vinegar until you make up the difference.  This shouldn’t be more than maybe a teaspoon or two.

Let it sit for a while and then voila! Curdly milk with lots of tang which reacts with the baking powder, thus leavening your biscuits.

It makes them fluffy, in other words.

If you don’t have vinegar either (which…why do you not have vinegar in your cabinet?), you can use regular old milk but you’ll need to use a bit less milk – maybe a cup and a half – or a bit more flour to make up the difference.

Back to making biscuits.

Spread the dough over the melted butter and cut it into squares before popping the pan into the oven.

I know.  It doesn’t even seem right.  But it is.

20 to 25 minutes pass, during which time you will do some intense cardio to burn off the calories you’ll soon be consuming.  Trust me.

And then you have biscuits, my friend.

It’s just that simple.

Somewhere, angels are weeping because they’re jealous over not being able to eat these little pillows of buttery goodness.  I’m serious.  I can hear them.

You know what these go perfectly with? Chicken bacon chowder.  Or beef stew.

Or preserves and a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.  Holy goodness gracious.

What is your favorite way to eat biscuits?

Sharing with these awesome blogs – stop by and check out the talent!