Do you ever feel like a fraud?

Do you worry that other people will “find you out”?

Do you battle your inner critic…the way I do?

If this sounds anything like you, you’ll want to visit Things I Can’t Say today, where the lovely Shell is allowing me to share my personal story of how my inner critic still rears her ugly head from time to time. Which is unfortunate when you’re trying to build a business centered around helping other women silence their inner critic.

Unfortunate, I say.

So come see me over at Shell’s, and don’t forget to leave a comment about your own experiences with treating yourself harshly. After all, when we open up with each other, we realize that we’re not so different.

Also? Have a great weekend!

Lately I’ve been busy. Like, super busy.

And you know that I’ve been on the self-love train for a while now, too. You’ve been with me as I talked about issues such as fat hate, honoring dreams, asking for help and living your life with intention.

Just posting once a week on these topics wasn’t enough for me, though. I wanted another platform where I could help other women get through the sort of issues I’ve spent years struggling with. Food addiction. Low self-esteem as a result of self-loathing. And the idea that once life improved – once I lost weight, found love, whatever – I would start treating myself better.

I’ve since realized that treating myself better has to come first. Getting the picture in my mind of who it is I want to be, how I want to feel and what I want my life to look like, then acting according to that vision.

That’s when things start to make sense. That’s when they start rocking and rolling.

And I want more than anything to help other women realize that, see their worth and work their way out of whatever is holding them back.

So I officially introduce to you my new endeavor: Honor Yourself Now.

Check out the About section – if my story sounds similar to yours, maybe you should stick around! Sign up to be part of the community so you can get weekly updates on blog posts, not to mention information about programs I’m launching.

For example, I have an amazing group of women going through my first 30 Day Bootcamp, which I’m working on refining and developing into a self-study ebook and workbook. I’m also outlining a few more ideas on materials, free offerings and other programs which mean the world to me, and which I hope benefit other people.

Once they’re available I’ll be announcing to my email pals, so siiiign up!

Oh, and if you sign up for weekly emails you’ll get download instructions for my free ebook, The Honor Yourself Now Handbook: Five Simple Steps To A Life You Love. I mean, that alone is worth the sign-up (if you ask me, anyway).

And what about this beautiful blog, you ask? Is it going away?

No!

In fact, I want to devote this blog to healthy recipes. You know, the kind of stuff that helps people feel more radiant, healthy, energetic…all that crazy goodness.

Will I abandon desserts and pasta, though? Um, no. I hope my last meal is comprised of pasta and chocolate, actually. Or sushi. But that’s beside the point.

I really hope you come on this journey with me. I’m so excited to be able to reach out to other women who need a little love and inspiration.

Tell me: Have you ever faced issues when it comes to making yourself a priority? What’s been holding you back?

As I told you a couple of weeks ago, I was accepted into the Shaklee 180 blogger program and since March 1st have been drinking Shaklee smoothies and eating their meal bars and snack bars. Also provided were energizing tea and metabolic supplements. The Shaklee180 weight loss program promises that I’ll lose belly fat (which, as you can see from the photos below, I need help with) and of course to help me maintain muscle while losing weight.

It helps that I think everything I’ve tried so far is delicious. My favorite smoothie involves the vanilla shake powder, almond milk, frozen peaches, vanilla extract and cinnamon. It’s ridiculous in an amazing, “I could drink this every day for the rest of my life” way.

So without further ado, here are my “before” pictures:

And my stats:

Bust:    49″

Waist:  45 1/2″

Hips:    50″

Arms:  14″

Weight: 230 lbs

It can only get better from here, right? I’m trusting that the Shaklee weight loss program, plus the support of my wonderful fellow bloggers, will get me through.

Stay tuned for my progress for the next six months!

Disclaimer:  This is a sponsored post as part of the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. I have received free products, online support and incentives for participating. My opinions are honest and my own. People following the weight-loss portion of the Shaklee 180™ Program can expect to lose 1-2 pounds per week.

Oh and by the way, did you see that I’m hosting a giveaway which closes Monday March 11th? Rob is going to redesign the blog of one lucky reader! Don’t miss the chance to enter!

Do you have any weight loss goals you’re pursuing in 2013? Tell me about them!

And it just so happens that having free tech support on hand isn’t such a bad thing.

He designed the blog which you’re visiting right now. But he’s done a lot of other work as well. Check out the website for his business, RDB Interactive. As you can see, he’s sort of a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to computers and design.

I can report first-hand that he’s a perfectionist who would simply not publish my new site until it was perfect down to the last element. Not just because he lives with me and I cook much of his food – he’s like that with all of his clients.

And because he’s generous like that, my husband is offering one lucky reader…a blog re-design.

For free.

That’s right, kids. Crazy, huh? Well if he wasn’t crazy he wouldn’t have married me.

“So what do I have to do to enter?” you’re asking. Good question.

Leave a comment below, telling us what you think doesn’t work about your current design. Simple as that.

But I can’t leave it there! If you want additional entries, do any or all of the following and leave a comment telling me you did so:

1) Tweet it! You can leave up to one tweet comment per day over the course of the giveaway.

Use something like this: I just entered to win a FREE blog design by @RDBInteractive, via @mrsjenbardall #giveaway #blogging

2) Facebook it! Tell your friends about this giveaway via your personal and/or fan page (and you can leave two separate comments if you do so).

I just entered to win a FREE blog redesign courtesy of The Misadventures of Mrs. B and RDB Interactive!  http://misadventuresofmrsb.com/2013/03/time-for-a-giveaway

3) Sign up for the Honor Yourself weekly newsletter (the sign-up form is on the right of this page, under the social media buttons). Be sure to confirm your enrollment – keep an eye out for the confirmation email after you sign up (check that spam folder!).

This giveaway will be open until 11:59PM EST March 11, 2013. The winner will be announced Tuesday, March 12.

Good luck!

Some fun facts about me, in no particular order:

I have scars up and down both shins which I earned when I fell down my parents’ back steps. Twice.

I have sprained my wrists more times than I can count, after falling while trying to roller skate. Eventually I gave up on the rollerskating thing. It was for the best.

I like to cook. In related news, I have scars all over my hands and wrists from burns and cuts. My favorite are the two on my knuckles from where they touched the oven rack.

I have rolled my ankle and fallen in public more times than I can possibly count. This includes my worst day ever, the story of which still makes my mom laugh until she cries.

It’s in light of all these facts and many more that I’ve taken such a liking to Jennifer Lawrence. It looks like I’m not the only one – my Twitter feed went berserk during and after her red carpet interviews, and on Monday you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting an article, blog post or status update applauding her and her lack of pretension.

She’s definitely a breath of fresh air.

And it’s not just because Hollywood is so full of what seems to be false earnestness (*cough Anne Hathaway cough*). I think it’s because we all need to see people who remind us of ourselves in the spotlight for once.

And maybe we all wish we could be as fully and truly ourselves as she appears to be. That’s the beauty of authenticity.

Authenticity, transparency – these are hot words for bloggers and just about anyone who presents his- or herself publicly. After all, no one wants to feel like they’re the only one who has verbal diarrhea from time to time or who doesn’t like to wear heels while walking down the street because they’re afraid of falling. Okay, maybe that’s just me.

Is this why we gravitate towards people who are open, honest, vulnerable, flawed?

Do we wish we could wrap our arms around them? Do we wish we could be more like them? Both?

We need more people like Jennifer Lawrence in the spotlight. We need more people like her in our daily lives. We need to remember that it’s okay to be imperfect.

And we need to understand that even though she’s beautiful and talented, the reason she’s captured so many hearts is because she’s so real. That’s a lesson we should all internalize and do our best to emulate.

For ourselves, and for those who look to us for inspiration whether we know it or not.

I’ve had a lot of trouble just being me in the past. I guess when you’re bullied you learn to suppress the version of you which isn’t up to snuff.

The worst part is, I get so flustered around others I end up double and triple guessing myself, which only makes me more awkward and clumsy. And not in a refreshing way.

Maybe it’s time to let go of that mess…be myself, warts and all…and let the cards fall where they will.

Have you ever had a problem being the most authentic version of you? Do you have a funny or embarrassing story you’d like to share in order to make me feel better about my spaz self?

Sharing this post with Shell at Things I Can’t Say

If you’ve spent any time at all reading my blog (and if you have, I humbly thank you, truly) you know that weight has been an issue for me throughout my life.

Even when I was a little girl and not overweight at all, I was still bigger than the other girls in my class. Taller, bigger boned, with chipmunk cheeks. I would never be tiny and petite like my classmates.

Kids don’t understand that. To them, “big” means “fat”. “Fat” usually means “Picked on mercilessly”.

Over time it was that image of myself as the “fat girl” that, along with other issues, led to compulsive overeating. It sent me straight to 280 lbs by the time I turned 25.

That compulsion still lingers in the back of my mind, even though I’ve lost a lot of weight since I was at my heaviest. Even though the mental picture I have of myself carries a lot more respect, admiration and love than it did when I was mindlessly shoveling food into my mouth until my chest hurt.

Yes, things have gotten better. The fact remains, though, that I need help releasing the rest of this excess weight.

Which is why I’m over the moon excited about what I’m sharing with you right now.

Last week I found out that I and 89 other amazing, lovely women were chosen as Shaklee180 bloggers!

What does this mean? It means that I’ll be spending the next six months working hard. Getting down to the nitty gritty. Letting this amazing sense of responsibility I have towards my life, my health and my happiness trickle down into some concrete hard work. And Shaklee (not to mention my fellow bloggers) will be by my side.

I mean, it’s one thing to know that I need to make positive choices. But I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been resting on my laurels, letting my 12,000 steps-per-day goal be as far as I go sometimes, eating that extra piece of chocolate (or two) since I only had a salad for dinner. Having that extra glass of wine (or two) because “it’s the weekend”.

So the Shaklee180 program could not have come at a better time.

I’ll be sharing my “before” photos with you soon (the program starts March 1st) and I hope I’ll have you all by my side, cheering me on as I bare it all.

In my next #Shaklee180 post: Before pictures/measurements and my ultimate goals (both for my weight and my self-confidence!).

If you want to chat with me or any other Shaklee blogger, check us out under the #Shaklee180 hashtag on Twitter!

This is a sponsored post as part of the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. I have received free products, online support and incentives for participating. My opinions are my own. People following the weight-loss portion of the Shaklee 180™ Program can expect to lose 1-2 pounds per week.

Do you have any health or weight loss goals? Tell me about them – we can cheer each other on! 

Dreams. We all have ‘em.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent a lot of time second-guessing them. You may have put your dreams in a box for one reason or another, either lovingly “for later” or angrily because you didn’t feel as though they could come true.

You may store this box o’ dreams under your bed, where it’s always right there waiting for you. Or maybe it’s on the tippy top shelf of your closet behind a bunch of junk. Better to not remind yourself of what could have been “if only”.

It’s time to take the box out from wherever you hid it, dust it off, and revisit what’s inside.

In my case, that box holds a lot of stale old dreams. Dreams which, had I struck while the iron was hot, may have panned out.

There are many, though, which still have some life left in them.

Am I the only one who has found herself too timid to stake a claim in her own life? Who has shied away from stating, loud and proud, “I AM”?

There are many reasons why I did this. Well-meaning but ill-advised adults who shot down my dreams without even knowing it. Playground bullies who taught me to stay quiet, to not attract too much attention or else risk being laughed at.

I absorbed and internalized the silent messages passed along from the grown-ups in my life who showed me that life is hard work, that dreams are nice but not realistic. And that’s okay! They were only acting out of what they knew to be true for them.

But it’s time to move past that and live what’s true for ME. And if my story sounds anything like yours, it’s time for you to do the same.

Over the weekend I sent out a tweet: Sometimes taking the first step is all you need. Others will propel you along after that. 

See, I finally decided to start a newsletter in which I’ll be continuing the #HonorMyself posts, rather than featuring them here. So I put up that opt-in form which you’ll notice over there in the right sidebar. See it?

Why did I do this? Because I want to continue the discussion, to share the inspiration and motivation with others, but I want to keep it separate from the rest of my blog.

You know what happened? People started signing up.

Crap! Now I actually have to create a newsletter because I said I was going to and people took my word for it!

It’s like the universe said “FINALLY!”. If you put up the opt-in form, they will come. Well, Rob put it up for me. And here they come.

I’m finally honoring my dreams, y’all. And I want you along for the ride.

And while you’re at it – honor your own dreams. Start today. Dust off that box o’ dreams and take a look inside.

What’s in there? What do you intend to do about it? I want to hear from you!

Starting next week, my #HonorMyself posts won’t be here. They’ll be delivered in newsletter form instead. Along with those posts will come vlog entries and conversation (as soon as I learn how to edit video because I am just that unsophisticated).

If you want to continue getting weekly reminders of how you need to honor YOU, be sure to sign up! And don’t forget to confirm your opt-in via the email you’ll receive when you first sign up – I’ve noticed a few people never confirmed, and that’s a bummer.

Image via Creative Commons

Today may be Ash Wednesday, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up all indulgence for the next 40 days.

Otherwise how would you be able to enjoy lusciousness such as that which I’m sharing with you right now? And it is luscious, and it is worth breaking a few Lenten promises for. Plus it’s a perfect Valentine’s Day dessert!

I’d seen cakes like this before, usually on TV food shows. And in my dreams…

I always felt that a layer of cheesecake sandwiched between two layers of cake was the epitome of over-indulgence and would roll my eyes even as I secretly wanted to give it a try. Then I found a gorgeous version over at Recipe Girl and I absolutely had to bite the bullet.

So I did. And it was good.

I just had to use my own cream cheese buttercream recipe, though. Because it’s my favorite thing in the whole wide world.

For the record, I’m a much bigger fan of creamy cheesecakes than dense, dry ones so whenever I bake a cheesecake (this includes Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake and Chocolate Cheesecake) I whip the heck out of the cream cheese until it’s extremely smooth and light. This always results in a much lighter, airier finished product which everyone seems to enjoy.

I think you’ll enjoy it too. Call me psychic.

Lent doesn’t mean the end of all things delicious – and this weekend might be the perfect time to remind your honey just how much they mean to you. This cake will definitely get the point across!

Sharing with these fabulous bloggers!

Let’s talk about fat hate, especially the stuff going on last week.

First it was the hoopla over Chris Christie’s girth, which has been a running gag since he first hit the public eye but seemed to reach a fever pitch last week, between his appearance on Letterman (God bless his donut eating heart) and the comments made by that former White House doctor which resulted in a characteristic smackdown.

At the end of the week I then saw reports of Rex Reed’s insulting remarks about Melissa McCarthy’s weight in his review of Identify Thief.

“What’s with all the fat hate lately?” Rob asked as we watched the news and saw this story.

And it did seem like we’d reached the saturation point after the week’s events. But I knew, just like he does, that fat hate is always out there. We just don’t hear about it on the news every night.

I think Christie would be the breath of fresh air this country needs, and if he were to run for President I’d vote for him in a heartbeat. We need a kick in the pants, and he’d deliver it.

So how many people do you think wouldn’t vote for him solely because he’s obese? Without knowing anything else about him, his policies, his political leanings?

Honestly? I think there’d be an awful lot.

And many of them would get on their sanctimonious soapbox and explain that they couldn’t see voting such an unhealthy person into office. What sort of message is this sending our children?

And yeah, I get that. Even though I believe in some cases that “health” stuff is just words.

But the rest of the anti-Christie voters? Well, I won’t quote some of the comments I’ve read about the man on the internet in the past, but “fat f*ck” ran rampant, I assure you.

This is for all of the nasty, narrow-minded people out there. Straight from the heart of a fat person:

You don’t need to hate me. I’ve spent more than enough time hating myself.

Do you know how difficult it is for me to love myself now? To every day remind myself that it’s okay what I’ve done in the past because today’s a new day?

Do you know the courage it must take people like Chris Christie and Melissa McCarthy to go out there into the public eye every day and face such nasty, mean-spirited criticism?

And yet they do it, because it’s in them to do so. They are living their truth and you’re probably not.

And whether or not their truth is your particular cup of tea, you can’t deny that there are more people – skinny, fat and every size in between – who aren’t brave enough to do that than there are warriors who go out and live the lives they want to live regardless of how they look or what you think of them.

Just like playground bullies are only acting out of the unworthiness they feel inside, grown-up bullies are lashing out, too. They see something lacking in themselves and so they hurt those around them.

There must be an awful lot of sad, frustrated, unloving and miserable people out there in order to spread so much hatred.

Yes, I’m working to improve myself and my health. Is it out of fear of disease or early death? Is is because I hate myself the way I am now?

No. It’s out of love. Because I’m worth the effort.

Rex Reed and all the other haters can continue to spread hate.

I’m choosing to spread love, and I’m starting with me.

What about you?

How did you honor yourself last week? How can you do it this week? Tell me about it!

Image via Creative Commons

Sharing this with the lovely Shell over at Things I Can’t Say.

We all live. But how many of us are living intentionally?

Let’s get real.

How much of our days are spent moving mindlessly from one activity to another? Multitasking, which basically means doing a bunch of things half-assed and not actually paying full attention to anything?

Meanwhile, how many times do you find yourself saying “I’d love to do that…if I had the time”?

I’ll speak for myself.

I spend too much time trying to handle too much at once. My mind is in a million places. When I’m writing, the TV is on. When I’m focusing on my blog, I have Tweetdeck and Outlook open. While I’m doing chores I have my phone where I can see it, in case I get an email or someone tweets me.

And let’s not even get into the amount of time I spend with that phone on one side of me and my husband on the other. Which is unfair to him.

Meanwhile, I experience entire days in which don’t feel as though I’m authentically a part of anything I do. Days at a time, come to think of it.

All the while I know there is so much more I could be achieving. Because when I break down my day, on paper it appears as though I have tons of free time.

So why is my book not finished? Why can I not carve enough time out to blog more than once a week or so? Why have I never learned Italian or read the half dozen or so books clamoring for attention on my shelves or re-sized my old, pre-Wordpress photos?

I guess that’s why I was so drawn to Go Mighty’s 20 Minutes of Intention when I read about it at Farewell, Stranger. The idea of setting aside 20 minutes a day – just 20 minutes! – to live mindfully, with a sense of intention, resonated with me.

Spending 20 minutes on just one thing, though, is sort of a novel idea. I didn’t realize until I started this just how distracted I can be, how there’s always this pull toward what I should be doing when I’m doing what I want to do.

For instance, I decided to spend the past few days focusing on my meditation practice – or rather, the lack thereof. Yeah. Try calming your mind down for an entire 20 minutes when you’re not used to doing it for more than five. Clearly I need to start smaller.

You know what I’ve noticed? When you’re not using distractions such as TV and the internet as a way to fill time, time stretches.

When time isn’t being marked by the TV (Jeopardy! at 7:00, Wheel at 7:30 and so on), and instead is filled with things that matter, it seems to expand. There have been evenings when I sit down with a book after dinner, without the TV on, and I read for what feels like forever. When I look at the clock I find that it’s only been an hour.

So maybe the point is to not only live intentionally, but to eliminate distraction wherever possible. More than simply 20 minutes a day.

Still, it’s a place to start.

How can you live more intentionally? Are there any goals or dreams which need a little love? Could they benefit from 20 minutes of tending every day?

Tell me how you have been, or should be, honoring yourself.