Inspired by Kris (Collage Contessa), I’ve joined her Creative Vibrations to fill the month of June with creativity, which I’ll be blogging along with her and with several others in a related project titled “30 Days of Creativity.” Some of what I create will be shared here (& on Flickr & Twitter & on & on), but some of what I’m hoping to do is like the project above–it’s not a thing I made or even particularly love, it’s just me, playing in the studio, making marks and having fun. Courting my creativity or the muse, if you will, with just the sheer habit of showing up and doing something. It will be lots of fun for me (I hope!), but not always something spectacular to look at.

Having said that, if you’re inspired to join us and want a burst of creativity in your month or just an excuse to play, I hope you’ll join us!

And, at least for me, habits require record keeping, temperature checks to see how I’m doing. So I whooped out one of my many bookmaking guides and made one of the simplest books I’ve never made:  a stitched pamphlet with only one signature. It came as no surprise to me that I had whizzed past this style of book, anxious to make other more interesting or complex creations, but, as this project shows, the simple pamphlet book also has its place!

One of my closest friends is a book conservator which, in turn, has given her the skills to make kick-ass handmade books. This is one of the beautiful books she’s gifted to me.

I have a love for ephemera, for odds and ends, and, when these objects follow me home, they invariably end up in these metal slide organizers where they wait to inspire a bit of artwork or a journal page. Not much of what I collect/organize gets attractive containers like this (I see so many studios with glass jars, but I think my cats would enjoy redecorating with those too much!), so I’m extra appreciative of the aesthetic appeal of the old slide organizers.

What would you give someone you loved if it might be the last gift you gave to them? My mother chose this silver bracelet with the inscription “BLESS THIS WOMAN” inside to give to me for my 28th birthday. She died 292 days later. If I could, I’d wear this bracelet every day but, unfortunately, it has a bit of a weak spot/crack and now I worry that the whole thing could fall apart.

I don’t allow myself many collections, but I do gather these pressed pennies on my various travels and adventures. They seem like some a piece of Americana, I was quite surprised to also find them in Europe and, as a result, have pennies from the London Dungeon and Dublin Zoo among the collection. I also have a a coin I hammered myself at the Jorvik Viking Centre!

The other collection I must own up to: books. We have bookshelves of art books, of cooking books, of gaming books and, of course, fiction and other types of nonfiction. I regularly try to whittle down, but have to acknowledge my short comings every time we move, people express shock at the number of boxes labeled “BOOKS—HEAVY!!”

I was 28 and my brother was 11. She had just celebrated her 48th birthday four days earlier. In the late hours of the evening, she died as a result of cancer that had begun in her lungs and metastasized into her bones and brain.

My mother was such an important and complete part of my life that nothing could have prepared me for her absence. I often lived far from her in terms of distance, but she was always a phone call or email away; even when I went off to college and studied abroad, she bought a toll-free number so nothing would prevent our weekly chats.

Lyrics: Laura Nyro, To A Child

The first couple of years after her death, I had a lot of difficulty seeing past her absence and I definitely turned to art as a means to find my way out of the subsequent depression and to explore who I was now, not only as a motherless daughter, but also as a parent—my husband and I have been raising my brother, now a high school student.

The loss is still deep today, but, having traveled some miles through my grief, I am also able to appreciate the ways she is still with me, the gifts she so lovingly bestowed upon me. I feel a connection to her with every rainbow in the sky, every purple item in my possession (too many to count; purple was her favorite color and, if you look closely in one of the photos above, you’ll even see a purple tint to her hair!).

What confidence I have in myself is rooted in the utter faith and support she showed me; she raised me to believe I was awesome, and I know not every girl gets that message growing up.

Looking through these photos and many more photos Tuesday night, I appreciate all the smiles and goofs we shared—not just Mum and me, but also with my brother, my cousin, my friends, whoever else was willing to share in the joy. My mother approached life with enthusiasm and gratitude; her constant quest was to “Let’s go see what we can see.” I inherited that curiosity and joy and hope I’m passing it on to my brother, too.

Among her belongings, I found a mother’s day gift book that I had filled in for her with my words and drawings around the time when I was 8. It’s a little heartbreaking:

So, today, I remember that not all our wishes, however deeply felt, come true. You can pick up that penny, crack that wishbone and search for a shamrock, but there are no guarantees. We have only today, so let’s go see what we can see.

A collage of my studio tools, including an oh-so-cute chalkboard from soZealous; check out her Etsy shop.

Direct download of the desktop above at these sizes:

• 1024 x 768
• 1280 x 960
• 1440 x 900
• 1600 x 1200
• 1680 x 1050
• 1920 x 1200

Enjoy!

PS If your desktop size isn’t represented above, just give me a shout, and I’ll see what I can do.

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different—you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

Last month, I wrote a bit about an exercise from The Declaration of You e-course where I asked friends and family what they admired about me, what they felt made me different/awesome. So much of what was shared is relevant to this question, but I want to focus on one friend’s comment in particular:

I think Angelique is awesome because she’s funny, wickedly smart, willing to go out on a limb, has a soul, uses it, isn’t afraid to condemn actions, doesn’t give up on people easily, has a creative streak a mile wide…

There’s a lot of generally kick ass things said about me there, but the thing that gave me great pause was “has a soul, uses it.” Have you ever heard someone jokingly retort, “Hey, I resemble that comment?!” Reading this comment was like an alternate universe version of that…because that comment embodies the very person I want to be. And here, someone who I admire and love, was telling me, “You are already that woman. You are the person you wish to be.”

That’s powerful, beautiful stuff to me. In the context of this prompt, it makes me think of the phrase, “Beauty isn’t skin deep.” No, it’s much deeper than that. Into your core, soul deep. Beautiful.

Reverb 10 is an opportunity to reflect on this year past and manifest forward into 2011. This project involves daily prompts throughout the month of December and you can learn more about it—and join!—here and you can follow participants on Twitter using the #reverb10 hashtag.

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

There are a few communities I’ve been a member of over the past year that I am profoundly grateful for:

• The artsy community on Twitter. Working from home, I often say that Twitter is my watercooler, but the community there is so much more. We dish about TV shows and politics and other watercooler topics, to be sure, but there’s also a lot of inspiration and encouragement and advice. And opportunity—I first discovered Patti Digh via Twitter and now two of my works are in her most recent books, Creative is a Verb and Four Word Self Help!
• The spiritual community at my local UU. Prior to my move, there was a lot of drama and problems erupting within my UU congregation in Florida, heartbreaking and confusing. I approached a new congregation with more than a little bit of trepidation, but have found a core group of people who I really admire and enjoy spending time with.
• My pal Gingy‘s stitch and bitch group. Though they originally accepted me even though I wasn’t a knitter and let me show up every week with my not-knitting (embroidery, more often than not), I’m now deep in their fiber passion, first spinning, and now attempting my first knitting. And, while the accumulation of new skills is wonderful enough, it’s really about the community of folks who show up, the stories they share, and the good times had. And there have been many laughs, many shared cups of tea, and I’m more than a wee bit blessed to be welcome into such a circle within a few weeks of moving back to Maryland.

I look forward to continuing to grow and benefit from my connections to all these groups in 2011, as well as the wonderful women I’ve met through the Declaration of You e-course (note: affiliate link).

Reverb 10 is an opportunity to reflect on this year past and manifest forward into 2011. This project involves daily prompts throughout the month of December and you can learn more about it—and join!—here and you can follow participants on Twitter using the #reverb10 hashtag.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I’m always making something. My mother-in-law said recently that I can’t stay still, and I’m starting to see some truth in that. Recently, I’ve made another couple loaves of artisan bread. I made myself memorize Mary Oliver’s poem The Summer Day. I’ve made plans. I made love. I’ve made the chore of walking the dogs 4-plus times a day into a ritual of attention. I made yarn out of fluff. I’ve made countless cups of tea. Some days, I’ve even made the bed.

Reverb 10 is an opportunity to reflect on this year past and manifest forward into 2011. This project involves daily prompts throughout the month of December and you can learn more about it—and join!—here and you can follow participants on Twitter using the #reverb10 hashtag.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

I let myself get messy with paint and other materials, I turned dog walking into an excuse to explore and imagine, I treated myself to new tools and materials to court and inspire my muse, I didn’t try to box my creativity in with rules.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of my mother’s house in part because that’s exactly what it was: her house. It was never going to be my house. I choose to think of the house as an article of clothing—a dress with a cut that looked fab on her, was in her favorite color and a material she just couldn’t get enough of. When I put that dress on, it hangs all wrong and, instead of making me feel good about me, it only serves to remind me of her. And I don’t need more memories of my mother:  I am her only daughter, I am raising her son and sharing my home with her dog. I have some of her clothes, her books, her knickknacks, her china, her jewelry, the dress she wore to my wedding. In addition to all that and so much more, I didn’t need to keep her house or to continue to live in it. No matter how many times I walked through that front door, she would never be there to hug me hello. And no amount of paint or redecorating would make it anything but her house—and I’m not even certain that I want it to be anything but that.

So, I let go. “You can never go home again,” that’s what they say, but I don’t know how much truth is in that. I just couldn’t go back to that home again and had to let go in order to make space for the prospect of having and sharing my own home, a place with my own mark, my own memories.

Reverb 10 is an opportunity to reflect on this year past and manifest forward into 2011. This project involves daily prompts throughout the month of December and you can learn more about it—and join!—here and you can follow participants on Twitter using the #reverb10 hashtag.