Okay, maybe I exaggerated just a little in the title. I still have possession of my soul and gathered up enough cash to pay the rent… by selling my furniture and various smaller things. I actually didn’t sell all that much, since the majority of the cash came from a friend that I hadn’t thought about asking but I did sell a few things.  I realized there was no way I would have had enough time, or space, to move everything (into my friends garage) and posted up a bunch of classified ads before heading to bed last night.

Most of the people who came by to look at things were just what you would expect; They came, they saw, they left. One young man, who had actually only come for one of the items I was giving away for free, ended up buying several things and overall made my day. Not because he bought things, but because he hung around talking to me for a while and seemed genuinely concerned. He asked why I was selling/giving things away and I’m fairly certain he only bought the stuff because he knew I needed the money.

Not everyone was friendly. A few people sent nasty emails in response to my ads, but I shrugged them off. The entire issue isn’t resolved, since I still need to deal with the bank and possibly the police (more on that later), but not having to be evicted lifted a huge weight off my shoulders!

First off: There is a lot of information that I simply cannot post here, so if you can’t quite connect the dots… well, apologies in advance.

Let me give a tiny bit of back story here before I go on with the drama. I’m the type of person who will help others before helping myself. I tend to have my quirks, and come off as submissive-yet-intimidating when my confidence level is at it’s highest. At it’s lowest, anxiety takes over and leaves me fearful and timid. People who don’t know me generally avoid me, but the few that have managed to break through my walls will tell you I’m one of the nicest people they know.

I also make it through each month on less income than anyone I know.

So this lifelong friend of the family, who I didn’t personally know very well starts coming around. She’s nearly my opposite personality wise and I knew right from the beginning that she was trouble, but out of respect couldn’t make anything of it. I tuned her out when needed, and learned to tolerate her without pulling out any hair.

In the beginning, she would talk highly of her boyfriend; about how he gave her a massage every night, take care of her needs, was an excellent father, and generally all the things that a boyfriend should be doing. Things started tapering off after that, she would have stories of a new argument between them nearly every day. She didn’t share all the details of the arguments, but was dead set that she was right-he was wrong-and there was no other way to look at it. When I say they argued, they are the type of people who regularly called the cops on one another when they argued.

They were having an ongoing argument about whatever, and the boyfriend moved out. She came to me, saying she had these checks that he had presigned for her and wanted me to cash them in my bank account. My account does not place a hold and wait for checks to clear – the cash can be withdrawn immediately.

In total she withdrew $2000 from my bank account, swearing to me that there was no way that these checks would bounce. I wasn’t comfortable doing it, and originally said no but it obviously didn’t work out the way I wanted (did I mention that I’m also easily intimidated?). I’m betting you’ve already guessed this by now (or maybe you read about it on the EdenFantasys forums) but yes, the checks did bounce.

She insisted that when her boyfriend found out that she cashed the checks, that he showed up at her house to take the cash from her. She kept telling me I had to wait until she could talk some reason into him on paying the money back, and then she finally said I would get the money on (this past) Thursday for sure. Thursday comes around, and when asked if she had the money she said “maybe tomorrow”. That was it. We decided to contact her boyfriend to see what was up, only to find out that he knew nothing about any checks at all. She signed his name on the checks. Furthermore, the checks were for an account that she knew had been closed some time ago.

Turns out, she did take money from his actual account. Quite a bit more than what she took from mine. And she spent it all on fucking crack. No one in the family even knew she had a problem.

I’ve been evicted from my house because I couldn’t pay the rent, I need to be out by tomorrow afternoon. (OMG) My bank account is overdrawn by over $2000 and I can’t see any way that I can recover from it. I’m a nervous wreck and my mind is spinning with the possibilities of what the future will hold. I tend to just stop thinking about things that stress me out, which is why I’m bad for putting things off for months without even realizing how much time has passed. I have managed to make it through every obstacle in the past, and am sure I will somehow make it through this one too but DAMN! How does somebody do this to another person and still feel good about themselves?

Despite all this, I’ve decided to go ahead and help another family this Holiday season through Eden Gives Back. You can find all the details about the local charity I’m teaming up with and follow along with what I will be doing over the next couple of weeks on the forums here. EdenFantasys gift cards and points can be donated until December 13th by emailing: Sam @ edenfantasys.com with a subject line of Eden Gives Back Christmas donations.

Some reviews will be coming soon, sitting and writing this was quite therapeutic. I’ll also be putting up a giveaway in the next couple of days, exciting! Right? Right?

This post brought to you by EdenFantasys, an online sex toys retailer.

Parasol by coldmarble

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists 138? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 140? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday July 24th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• “Mail” Fun: Fleshlight Vibro Giveaway Deadline: July 22nd.
• First Mate Silicone Dildo Giveaway Deadline: July 24th.
• Dotted Delight Silicone Dildo Giveaway Deadline: July 27th.
• Win a Nexus Ridge Rider Deadline: July 28th @ 12am Eastern.
• Shay’s Contest! Deadline: July 30th.
• Crystal Causes $12,000 sex toy giveaway & community fundraiser Deadline: July 31st.
• Buy Short Erotic Story PURR And Win A Free Sex Toy! Deadline: July 31st.
• K-Y Brand Intimacy Experiment Kit Giveaway Deadline: August 6th.
• Giveaway! Deadline: August 7th.
• Fetish Fantasy Pink Passion Bondage Kit Giveaway Deadline: August 10th @ 11:59pm Eastern.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Berman Venus G by Red Vinyl Kitty
• Bnaughty Unleashed by buzzvibe
• Treeze by Evil Poptart
• Evolved Speeding Bullets Armor Piercing by Bzzingbee
• Hidden Treasure by Bzzingbee
• LELO Gigi by Lucid Obsession
• Toy Joy Lady Killer by DIY Orgasms
• LELO Soraya by Epiphora
• Shag Factory Flower Power Bullet by Sammi
• Pirates Pendant by CLP
• 10-Speed Remote Controlled Egg by Kari Rose

Dildos

• Doc Johnson Sasha Grey Swell by Nymphomaniac Ness
• VixSkin Buck by Mistress Kay
• Icicles No. 21 by Nymphomatic Ness
• First Mate by Teagan Shepard
• Captain by Teagan Shepard
• Captain by Bzzingbee
• Cyberglass Spiral G by Mistress Kay
• Phallix Twisted Lattachino Wand by Nymphomaniac Ness
• Nobessence Seduction by Mistress Kay
• Dotted Delight by True Pleasures
• Frosted Ice by Lucid Obsession
• Doc Johnson Veined Slim by DIY Orgasms
• Bad Dragon Elden the Faerie Dragon by Bzzingbee
• NobEssence Allure by Epiphora

Anal Toys

• The Groove by Triple X Mama
• WhipSpider Rubberworks The Screw by Misfit Momma

Sleeves, Cock Rings, & etc.

• Tarra White Private Girls Fleshlight in Primal by Sex & Coffee
• Motor Stroker by LadyToyBox
• Tenga Double Hole by Teagan Shepard
• Stroking Power Pump by Lucid Obsession
• Super BoyZ Swirl Girth Ring by Nymphomaniac Ness

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Kingman Sensuous Massage Oil by Pixel
• Boy Butter by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Kama Sutra Sweet Heart Box by Beanfiddler
• Blossom Organics’ Global Duo Kit by Teagan Shepard
• Kama Sutra Love Liquid by Bzzingbee
• Chocolate Body Cream by Lucid Obsession
• Glow Oil by Lucid Obsession
• I Love BJ Kit by DIY Orgasms
• Jimmyjane Afterglow by K__

BDSM/Fetish

• LELO Sensua by padme amidala
• Leatherbeaten Imp Paddle by Pixel
• Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System by Toys in Love
• Ruff Lust Spike Collar w/ Heart Cutouts by Misfit Momma

Adult Books & Games

• Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by LucyLemonade
• 52 Sex Positions Cards by True Pleasures
• 52 Sex Position Cards by Dusk
• Loaded Questions: Adult by Mistress Kay

Adult DVDs & Porn

• GUSH: The Official Guide to the G-Spot & Female Ejaculation by Pixel
• Ultimate Surrender #30 Featuring Amber Rayne and Madison Young by J.D. Bauchery
• The Curiously Obsessive Peepshow – Lucy by Ginger Leigh
• Tribade Sorority by J.D. Bauchery
• Razordolls by Ginger Leigh
• BBW Ink by J.D. Bauchery

Sex Furniture

• Liberator BonBon by Lucid Obsession

Miscellaneous

• Advanced Clitoral Pump by LadyToyBox
• Mystim Electrode Conductive Gel 50ml by Nymphomaniac Ness
• Pin-Up Balm and Bullet Set by Nymphomaniac Ness
• FleshWash by Misfit Momma
• Tit Bits Biscuits by DIY Orgasms
• Touche Dukes by Mistress Kay
• Braun Silk Epilator by Joanna Cake

REGRETS

1. What was the last thing you regret buying?

A toddler bed for my daughter. It’s gorgeous. At least it looks like it is in the picture on the box. I still haven’t set it up, partially because I don’t have room for it, and partially because I have yet to buy a mattress for it. I’m sure if I ever do set it up before she gets too big for it I’ll love it, but she is 2 and a half now. Maybe I should sell it and get some money back?

2. What was the last sex toy you regret buying?

This is a tough one. I buy a lot, but I’m very picky about what I buy. Right now, I’m going to say the Nobessence Fling. It’s a great toy and all, but it doesn’t do a whole lot for me. Certainly not enough to warrant the huge price tag when the handmade wooden toy I got from Knotty Wood Arts is just as good at a fraction of the cost.

3. Briefly describe a time that you had sex, and you should not have. Why did you do it?

The first time I had sex. A boy I had been hanging around with for a while wrapped his arm around my back and called me “his girl”. In that moment it felt so good for someone to think of me in that way that I would have done anything he wanted, and I did. He started leading me towards the bed, I played dumb and asked him what he was doing. I can’t remember what his response was, but I knew exactly what he was doing. We continued dating for a few months, but he was never the type of guy I could see myself with in the long run and we mutually agreed to just stop talking to one another.

4. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

I don’t think I would want to stay one age forever! Every age has it’s ups and downs.

5. A good friend’s significant other flirts with you; would you tell your good friend?

It would depend on who the friend is. Most of the people I know do regularly flirt with me and anyone else who happens to be around so I generally shrug it off or flirt back. If a friend specifically asked for me to report back to them, then I would. Otherwise it probably wouldn’t even occur to me that they had done anything wrong. (There is a big difference between flirting and making a move!)

6. What is your greatest professional regret? For example: Promotions you did not accept; Internship opportunities you did not pursue; Inventions/ideas you did not share.

Not graduating High School. Yup, I’m a High School dropout. I had my first child when I was in grade 10, and my second in grade 11. I completed grade 11, hauling my two baby boys with me, but after summer break I never went back. Thankfully, I’ve never had an employer ask for proof when I check off “Graduated High School”. If I had known that people win Scholarships at graduation, I would have stuck it through. By then I was convinced since there was no savings for me, that there was no possibility of going to University. Why didn’t they tell us people win Scholarships? I totally would have won one.

Bonus: What is your biggest regret?

Not moving in with my Dad when he asked me to. If I had, he might not have gotten as bad as he did (He was a hoarder and an alcoholic), and I might have been able to keep him out of a nursing home. (And thus, he would not have died at the age of 69.) I miss him every single day.

When I first received this, it looked a little on the small side. I looked up the measurements and found out that the Love Pacifier Advanced was supposed to have a 1 1/2 inch diameter while the Love Pacifier Beginner is supposed to be 1 1/4. A quarter inch is not a huge difference, but I measured this plug multiple times and am convinced that the two plugs are the same size. I suspected that a beginner size plug may have been packed inside the advanced box accidentally, but the beginner size does not come in black so this is not possible. Before making the crazy accusation that both plugs are the same without any actual proof, I bought the beginner size so that I would be able to compare them side by side. What do you think?

Here are my measurements vs. the measurements listed on FunWares:

Here I’m showing them stacked on top of one another:

Please note that I am not trying to say that Funwares has intentionally tried to misrepresent this toy in any way.  The measurements they have listed do match up with measurements from other websites (Other than the length, but their listed length may be insertable?). I will say that I have spoken to a couple other reviewers who own this particular plug, and they said that their’s did measure the full 1 1/2″ diameter¹ . Did I somehow get the runt of the litter? Did California Exotics use the wrong mold when pouring this batch of advanced plugs? It’s definitely a mystery, and I may very well be the proud owner of two beginner sized plugs, but I suppose I’ll never know.

Packaging states "Actual Size". As you can see, it is not.

The good news is that these plugs are made out of a body safe, non porous silicone which can be sanitized by boiling, bleaching, or ran through a dishwasher between uses. If you absolutely do not want to sanitize it, you can wash it with some soap & water or toy cleaner but I highly recommend sanitizing all anal toys between uses even if you are the only one using them. They are also one of the most affordable silicone butt plugs on the market, and are fairly comfortable for both long or short term use.

The teardrop shaped head doesn’t offer quite as much of a taper as some other plugs do, and inserting them feels like shoving a large bead into my butt. This can be both good and bad, depending on what you like. (It isn’t entirely bad for me, but I do prefer plugs that offer more of a warm up such as the B-Bomb.) The handle and neck unfortunately aren’t strong enough to be able to simply push the plug in while holding it, so you do need to hold the end of the bulb while inserting. Once in place, your anus will be able to close around that skinny neck and it will (almost) be as though nothing is there at all. Ok, I lied. You will know something is there, but you won’t feel overly stretched out the entire time. These are great plugs if you enjoy the “pop” feeling which can be achieved by using anal beads or dildos with a pronounced head.

As you can surely see in my photos, these plugs do have a visually noticeable seam that goes all the way around. I wasn’t able to feel the seam during use, and neither was my partner, but if it’s something that bothers you it may be possible to shave it off with a razor blade.

Would I recommend them? Definitely! Despite my confusion on the sizing, I’m happy to have these plugs in my collection. If you are an absolute beginner to anal play, you might want to work up to these using one or two fingers or consider getting a toy with a longer taper like the B-Bomb I mentioned above. For the price, you can’t go wrong!

Don’t forget to use code “Misfit” in the checkout to save 10% off your entire order when shopping at Funwares. Alternatively, you can get free shipping on orders $99 and over with code “shipme”.

1. I have not been lucky enough to find someone who has BOTH of these plugs to compare notes. Do you have them both? Speak up!

This review brought to you by my partner in kink & marriage, Sex & Coffee.

Specifications

Length – 10″
Girth – Approximately 3″ inner wall (stretches)
Material – Patented Superskin
Special features – Removable sleeve, discreet case, realistic material, phthalate free, waterproof, highly textured inner sleeve, lube included
Color – Flesh sleeve, red case
Sleeve Type – Primal

As a newbie to the FleshLight brand, but not to masturbators in general, the over all size of this toy threw me off. At 10″ in length, and an 8″ circumference around the casing (12″ at the end) it’s easily double the size of my long time favorite toy, the Pirate Booty Stroker. It’s rather heavy, and not as discreet as one might think; the idea of storing this among every day flashlights just doesn’t seem plausible. The tin which it comes packaged in however, suits my storage needs since I’ve no need to worry about discretion.

The Superskin sleeve on the other hand, is quite impressive. While soft to the touch, the surface does cause a bit of drag but that is easily solved with a little water based lube. Well, maybe more than a little. About 3 squirts of Maximus does the trick for me, whereas my wife generally only uses one squirt when playing with her own toys.

The inner texture (which is uniquely named Primal) can definitely be felt during use but, despite the fact that the sleeve features multiple textures, I was unable to differentiate one from another. In order to take full advantage of the sleeves length, one would need to have at least an 8 inch dick. Mine isn’t small by any means, according to the wife I’m above average in size (and we all know women don’t exaggerate about things like that).

The end cap can be adjusted to create the desired amount of suction during use, which is a feature that sounds great in theory, but it didn’t do a whole lot for me. In fact, I didn’t notice a difference at all. When it comes down to having a choice, I still prefer using the Pirate Booty Stroker over the FleshLight. The awkward size alone would be enough to bring me to that conclusion, but I also enjoy the open ended aspect quite a bit. Perhaps I would enjoy the FleshLight more if I had the chance to try it out with a Liberator mount and been able to use it hands free.

To clean, pass it on to your wife and she’ll know what to do. If you aren’t lucky enough to have a wife who’s willing to clean up after your masturbation sessions, just rinse the sleeve and case under warm water (no soap), spray a little FleshWash over the surface if desired, and wipe or air dry.  You can then dust it with cornstarch or renewing powder to maintain the realistic feel of the SuperSkin.

Unfortunately this particular model is sold out, but Fleshlight is a brand of variety and there are many more to choose from over at PinkCherry Sex Toys.

As far as butt plugs go, I’m at an intermediate level of experience. At 4″ long (3.5″ insertable) with a 1.5″ diameter at its widest point the Screw is pretty near the perfect size for someone with some anal experience. It isn’t overly large, and may also work out for a beginner who’s a little more daring (My first anal toy was only slightly smaller than this one). The base sits comfortably between my cheeks, and since the neck has a 1 inch diameter the stretch can be pleasantly felt during use.

It’s made out of a squishy yet firm silicone and is formed into a spiral (or screw) shape. While inserting, it feels like three bulges; each one slightly bigger than the last. The silicone Whipspider uses is softer than the silicone many of my toys are made out of, but this is my third Whipspider toy and I love the way they feel! The soft silicone does make this plug feel smaller than it really is while inserted, but that is in no way a bad thing for me. On the base of each Whipspider toy there is a small circle with a spider, and WSR is usually carved somewhere on the base of each toy as well.

As for actually screwing the Screw into place, I haven’t been able to, but spinning a plug while it’s in my butt isn’t exactly my thing either. For this, and most other butt plugs with a base, I prefer to set them down on a flat surface and lower myself down onto them. I’m usually able to insert the Screw without another toy to warm up with, just by slowly working it in, but a beginner might want to start with a smaller toy. (Fun Factory Bootie continues to be a personal favorite for warming up with.)

It’s easy to clean. I just wash it with soap & water or toy cleaner, but if you would like to sanitize it you can boil it for 3 minutes, dip it in a 10% bleach solution, or place it in the dishwasher. Other reviewers have mentioned their Whipspider toys had a tendency to hold onto odor, but I haven’t noticed that to be the case with mine. It does hold onto hair & lint, which is pretty common with silicone toys, but rinsing before each use solves that. I store it in the packaging it came in (a plastic zip bag), but you can keep it in a satin bag or whatever you like using for storage. Be sure to stick with water or oil based lubricants to avoid possible damage to the surface that could be caused by a silicone based lube.

I bought the Blue/Lavender color, and it’s really a gorgeous (and sparkly!) color. The colors are blended together, and it’s hard to tell that there are really supposed to be two colors on mine but each one is unique. The Blue/Lavender color is currently sold out, but it is also available in Black/Blue and Black/White from EdenFantasys.

It can also be purchased from my personal store, Misfit Momma’s Toy Box.

$32.99The screw Butt plug by Whipspider rubberworks Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

Ah… the perfect collar. If I wasn’t such a hoarder collector, I would never buy another collar after using this one. Yup, I love it that much.

Measuring 17.5″ long, the Ruff Lust Spike Collar with Heart Cutouts is shorter than my others which means there isn’t a lot of overlapping leather getting in the way during use. As far as collars go, this is a very good thing in my case. It’s 1″ wide, just under 1/4″ thick (not including the spikes which are 1/2″ long) and has 5 holes 1 inch apart which should allow it to fit necks with a circumference of approx. 11″ to 15″. For reference, I wear it on the second hole from the end and I measured my neck at 14″.

Showing how the rivets come off.

Straight out of the package (which is just a plastic bag with a simple hang tag), the collar feels stiff but it softens up pretty quickly after being worn. The eight adorable pink suede hearts were what really drew me to this collar. If you don’t know this by now, black & pink is my favorite color combination and after seeing this collar there was no way I could pass it by.

The back of the collar is lined with a soft suede and there are no exposed rivets except for where the buckle is. There are four spikes and one O ring, which can all be removed and replaced if you happen to know where to get new ones¹ . At first I thought the smaller O ring would be a down side, but it turns out I like it better than the larger O rings. It’s just the right size to thread the chain from a set of tweezer nipple clamps through it, and I absolutely love the look created from the combination of collar & clamps. I also like that I can pull on my nipples just a bit by tilting my head back.

Click to see the rest of the clamps!

I do have one small complaint, and that is that when putting this collar on and off it feels like I’m doing it backwards. My other collars are universal in that they won’t be upside down regardless of which way I put them on. In order to put this one on with the hearts facing the right way up, the buckle needs to be held in my right hand while fastening with it behind my neck. It’s a small complaint and personal preference, and doesn’t stop me from wearing it at all even though it can be slightly annoying.²

If you like this collar (and how can you not?) you can get your own from FunWares. Don’t forget to use code “Misfit” to save 10% on your order, or code “shipme” to get free shipping on orders $99 and over!

1. I don’t, at this time, unfortunately
2. As strange as it sounds, when I put on a necklace I hold the clasp in my right hand, but with my collars I find it easier to hold the buckle in my left.

Each page in the book is numbered in the form of a date, starting with January 1st and ending with December 31st. There are 366 positions in total, including February 29th, so leap years are not excluded. Most of the positions feature a heterosexual couple, but some are made for two men, two women, and even group positions. Each position is accompanied with a humorous title like “Oops!… I Did it Again.”, “Chairway to Heaven.” and “The Empire Strikes from the Back.”.

Some of the positions require the use of chairs, walls, coffee tables or other props. Liberator shapes would fit in well with several of them as well. If you aren’t the same height as your lover, you would likely need to use additional props (like a stool) to accommodate for the height difference.

If you’re looking for a fun addition to your naughty library, or for a great gift, head over to Good Vibes and pick up your own copy of Position of the Day written by Em and Lo from Nerve.com. You can also check out the rest of the selection of sex books & erotica available for purchase if you don’t think this one would be right for you!

FleshWash is made by Fleshlight, and is safe to use on Superskin, latex and silicone. It uses the powerful anti-bacterial ingredient, Triclosan to fight bacteria and keep your Fleshlight clean and sanitary. To use, simply wash your Fleshlight sleeve with warm water as you normally would, then spray FleshWash onto your Fleshlight sleeve and allow it to air dry. Once dry, powder it with a little cornstarch or FleshLight Renewing Powder to keep your masturbation sleeve as good as new.

This is great for those of you who are a little squeamish about not using soap to clean your FleshLight, or if you don’t like using rubbing alcohol. It doesn’t leave the sleeve feeling greasy, and won’t irritate your skin.

FleshWash is not tested on animals, is alcohol free, and comes in a 4oz spray bottle. The ingredients as listed on the bottle are:  Triclosan, Water, Sodium C14-16 Olefin, Disodium, Lauroamphodiacetate, Sodium Trideceth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Propylene Glycol, Tetrasodium EDTA, Citric Acid, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Mint Green.