Miss Wordy Pants

Exercising My Right To Say No Doesn't Make Me a Bitch

2014-06-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

I'm baaaack! I know I had a little fallout (or a series of fallouts) with this blog. But there is nothing quite like being completely pissed off to get a blogger back at her keyboard.

I'll just cut right to the chase. I was out on business the other day in the company truck. Stopped at a stoplight, I noticed a girl in the passenger seat of the car next to me waving her arms around frantically. She was motioning for me to roll my window down, and I quickly did so. She was smiling at me, and I was in a vehicle clearly marked by the company I work for, so I assumed this had something to do with work.

Wrong. Next thing I know the rear window rolls down, and I see the face of a high-school aged prat with obnoxious sunglasses on. "Give me your number!" He yelled.

I was confused right off the bat. Silly me, I was still thinking this was a work thing, and I was trying to work out whether I should give him the number to my store or the location closest to where I was at the time. He must have caught my hesitation, because he repeated himself. He whipped out his cell and said "You're cute, I wanna call you,"

It finally clicked, and I replied with a quick and polite "Sorry, I'm taken," which is entirely true. I didn't add the part that, being 24 years old, I'm way too old for him. But I often pass for 17 and understood his mistake.

I was completely shocked when I heard him scream the word "Bitch," at me. Being on the job, all I could realistically do was roll up my window and wait for the light to turn green. But that situation really got me thinking, and I fumed about it the whole way back to work.

First off, notice the fact that he didn't ask me for my number. He demanded it. Give me your number. Call me an over thinker, but this tells me that he felt entitled to have my number. No matter if I want to give it to him or not.
Second, my refusing to give him my number (somehow) makes me a bitch. I had zero interest in ever being contacted by this little brat, and still I am a bitch for saying no. In a VERY polite manner, might I add!

What's even worse was how my coworkers reacted. I don't know if any of you know what I do, but I work at an auto shop, which is obviously a male-dominated industry. I shared my experience with some of them and, to my surprise, the general feedback I received was that I actually was a bitch for refusing to give him my number. Most of them actually thought that the polite option would have been to just acquiesce to his request, regardless of whether I wanted to or not.

This is a prime example of misogyny. Society tells us that a man gets what he wants from a woman, regardless of how she feels about it. She is generally supposed to appease him, because she will be labeled a bitch (or worse, in more severe cases) if she refuses. God forbid she deny a man what he wants!

But imagine the tables being turned. Imagine what a typical woman would do if she had been turned down like he was. Would she obnoxiously scream the word dick at him after being informed that he was taken? Probably not. Why? That's not a socially acceptable response. It's OK if he tells her no. No matter how she feels about the rejection, she'll just have to deal with it. But it's not that way when a male gets rejected, and that's a problem.

This is the reason why American women have a 1 in 4 chance of being raped in their lifetime. This is the reason why men are going on killing sprees because they can't get laid. Many men feel that women owe them attention, or sex, or whatever else it is that they want. Many women are forced into compliance. Many other women submit to this warped concept out of fear (fear of being hurt, fear of social repercussions, etc), which only perpetuates the situation.

Men: I have a right to say no. In fact, I have just as much right to the word no as you do. I don't owe you anything, and exercising my right to say no does NOT make me a bitch. It's not my problem that you feel I owe you something. It's not the problem of any other woman, either (except for maybe your mother, who obviously did a shitty job raising you).

Your inability to handle a very polite rejection with maturity and grace says an awful lot about your character.

Good Things Come to Those Who... What?

2014-04-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Good things come to those who wait!"

Didn't we hear this all the time from the adults in our lives since before we can remember? Patience was a virtue, slow and steady wins the race.

This advice never made any sense to me. Although I was often assured that I would understand when I'm older, it seemed like such a (for lack of a better word) backwards way of doing things. How are you supposed to get anything you want if you just sit around and patiently wait for it to happen on its own? Shouldn't you do everything you can to make it happen?

I'm now in my mid 20's, and I'm still hearing this advice! Even so, life has taught me a completely different lesson. I went through my childhood years watching the 'fighters' and 'go-getters' get what they wanted while absolutely nothing happened to me. I eventually caught on and realized that 'slow and steady wins the race' was completely bogus!

Good things don't come to those who wait. They come to those who get off their asses and work for what they want! Waiting for it to fall into your lap will get you nowhere. You'll end up in the same place you started, watching others zoom right past you.

No one is going to accomplish your goals for you. No one is going to hand you anything. You have to get up and get in that race! You won't get anything you don't ask for, so speak up! I wish I would have learned this lesson a lot earlier than I did!

Is Bad Grammar Trashing Your Credibility?

2014-02-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

Use Grammarly's plagiarism check because no two bloggers are alike, unless plagiarism is involved.

Writing is a skilled trade.
Not just anyone can pick up a pen and arrange words in a fashion that makes sense and speaks to a number of people at once. It takes skill to write a successful novel, article, or even a blog post!

And developing skill takes practice. Despite what some people may tell you, there is a wrong way to do it. It may come naturally to some, but most of us have to learn the ins and outs of this trade. Proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar seem to be the most troublesome lesson for many.

I've been trolling a lot of blogs and similar content sites lately, looking for something new to add to my reader. I have to admit that I'm a little bit disturbed by the amount of crimes against the English language that I discovered while I was out there!

I don't think people realize just how much those mistakes cost them, especially when they are trying to establish some kind of an expert status in a certain niche. Even if your niche happens to have nothing to do with writing, you still have to write about it well!

Your Writing Mistakes Will Cost You
Say you're doing some research on a subject like how to take care of a reptile. You come across two writers who have a number of articles published on the subject. One of them writes well, using proper spelling and grammar. The other one writes in all lowercase, uses run-on sentences, and consistently uses then and than interchangeably. Who are you going to trust more?

I don't know about you, but trusting anything the latter has to say would make me nervous. Their careless writing technique makes me wonder if they really know what they're talking about, or if they're just some schmuck spouting off a bunch of bull. The former will come across as much more credible to me. Writing well gives off the impression of being well educated, and therefore more likely to have researched the subject before writing about it.

This is why, if you're serious about writing and being successful at it (no matter what your niche may be), it's important to do it well. I know we all have our issues, just like I can never seem to figure out the rules for using commas! But that doesn't mean we have to risk our credibility just because we struggle with spelling or grammar.

Check Yourself!
At the very least, run your text through a spell-checker. With just about every writing platform offering a built in spelling and grammar checker, there is no excuse anymore for excessive errors! Pay attention to the mistakes you make consistently and learn from them.

We all learn and improve as we go, and you won't go anywhere with your writing unless you are consistently learning and getting better. Writing well will play a huge part in setting you apart from those who aren't really taking it seriously, and your credibility will skyrocket.

Has there ever been a time when you've noticed someone's bad grammar or spelling trashing their credibility?

*This is a sponsored post. Clicking on included links may yield commissions for misswordypants.com

Dirty Dishwater? Not My Style.

2014-01-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

After 24 years of life, I have finally learned to accept and appreciate my natural hair color, just the way it is!

For as long as I can remember, I've always hated it. I envied my mom's hair color, a beautiful milk-chocolate color. Even my siblings had pretty hair, lighter than my mom's but much darker than mine.

I, on the other hand, got stuck with what my mother always referred to as dirty dishwater blond. As if the description wasn't gross enough, the color matched my skin tone in a way that made my face almost entirely unnoticeable beneath my thick mess of "nasty sink water." The one feature that stood out was my thick and unfittingly dark eyebrows!

As soon as my mom considered me old enough, I dyed my hair. I started with red, then went to a shade of blond that was much lighter than my natural color. I've tried highlights, lowlights, and even almost-black (which I now realize was a horrible decision)! I copied my mom's hair color for a long time, as well.

Eventually, though, I got tired of the time and money it took to care for dyed hair. I also got bored after having tried just about every color imaginable. So, I decided to bite the bullet and stop dying it.

As my natural color started growing in, I realized that it looked nothing like dirty dishwater to me. Instead, it kind of reminded me of sand on a beach. Sometimes it looks lighter like dry sand in the sun, and other times it appears a little bit darker like the wet sand along the water line.

Just changing the way I describe the color has changed the way I feel about it. Of course, it also helps that I'm older and wiser now and can use makeup, which helps to make my face distinguishable from my hair.

It feels good to be free of hair dye and to be okay with the color just as it is! It makes me feel like I'm a little bit more "myself." No hiding behind a look that isn't mine because I'm not comfortable with the one that is.

I guess a rose by another name isn't necessarily still a rose. If that rose was called "freshly spilled blood," some may have a tainted view of it. Negative connotations are powerful, even if we may not notice the full extent of their effect. Just changing what I called my hair color changed my view of it completely!

What is it that you view in a negative light? What if you changed the words you used to describe it? Would that also change the way you feel about it?

The Narrator in Your Head

2014-01-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

Whenever I read a blog post by someone else, there is a specific voice that reads their words to me in my head. I have never heard most of my favorite bloggers speak, so the sound of that voice is entirely made up.

I build that voice over time based on their "about me" photo, and what I already know about them. I just come up with a voice that I think fits them. I can't help it, it just happens.

This voice plays in my head as I'm reading their posts, and it gets me wondering what my words sound like in my readers' heads. Surely there are others who do this weird voice-over thing when they read. Or is it just me?

If you're a reader and you don't know me in real life and have never heard me speak, what kind of a voice narrates my writing to you when you read it? Is it high pitched, or is it softer? Does it have a particular accent of any kind?

I would love to know!

Almost Puking All Over My Laptop. Almost.

2014-01-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

I opened up my blog this morning, only to be disgusted by the traffic report on the Blogger page. Look at it. LOOK AT IT! You see what my top traffic sources were this morning? WHAT THE HELL?

Now, thanks to Google Analytics, I'm fully aware that Blogger's traffic tracking isn't exactly accurate. And thanks to FeedBurner, I know that I actually have a decent amount of people who read this blog on a regular basis (although all you guys do is creep around and never leave comments. But hey, I accept you as you are). So, let me say it again, WHAT THE HELL?

I currently have 80 posts up on this blog. Most of them are tagged with #life, #blogging, and #writing. Most of those who read this blog usually find it with those keywords. Yet, Blogger is telling me that my top traffic sources are, well, you saw them. Are these spam sites? Are they crawlers? What are they doing here?

And what is Blogger getting at by telling me that these are where my readers come from? Again, WHAT THE HELL? I can't even... I just can't even... UGH!

New Years Resolution: Start Immediately!

2014-01-06T07:25:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of the arrival of the New Year, I've spent the last few days reflecting on the past 12 months and what I've accomplished during this time.

Normally, like everyone else, I make a list of things I want to accomplish. You know what's funny about these lists I make? I never accomplish anything on them. It's as if declaring those things as New Year's resolutions immediately turns them into a chore, and I end up seeing them as something I have to do instead of something I want to do. And in typical procrastinator's fashion, I put them off as long as possible. And then another year rolls around and those tasks are still on my list.

I finally recognized this as a vicious cycle and did something different last year. Instead of making goals and writing down resolutions, I vowed to do one simple thing during 2013:

Start immediately.

That was it. I vowed to myself that whatever I wanted to do, I wouldn't put it off until a later date, or add it to a task list or anything like that. And the result? I actually did most of those things that have been on my To-Do list for years! Some of those things are:

I read a lot more. Of course, it definitely helped that I found a web site that sends me emails every day with a list of free and discounted ebooks offered on Amazon that day. Most of the books I read were ones I bought on special for my Kindle, but that still counts!
I was definitely more active than usual! I discovered PopSugar Fitness recently, and really loved some of the crossfit routines I found on that site. My dog and I also made very good use of the gorgeous park near the house. 2013 consisted of countless scenic walks and games of fetch.
I started learning Spanish. It's something I've always wanted to do, but never had much motivation to start. Well, not only did I start this year, but I kept at it and learned quite a bit. This is something I will continue in 2014.
Projects. I did so many DIY projects that I've been wanting to do for years. My crafty side never really comes out because I'm usually putting projects off for a later date, and then never getting to them.

I'm incredibly proud of my 2013. All of those things have been on my New Years Resolution list for as long as I can remember. This time, they actually got done and I credit that to taking them off that damn list. That was when they stopped being just another chore to do, and went back to being something I actually wanted to do. That made it a whole lot easier to just get up and do them.

Naturally, I'm going with the same idea for 2014. No list of goals or tasks to accomplish in the next 12 months. Only a simple promise to myself to keep doing the things I want to do, when I want to do them. I can't wait to see what I end up doing with this year!

Writing in Pajamas

2013-12-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

Writing in pajamas has never worked for me.

I often hear so many writers going on about how awesome it is to be able to work without ever having to change out of what you slept in the night before. My favorite rants often come from one of my favorite authors, Patrick Rothfuss, whose posts about his habit of writing with no pants on often show up in my Facebook feed.

Let me just tell you, I've tried this method, and have found it very disagreeable. Personally, I cannot do a damn thing with my day until I am showered, dressed, and actually look like a decently functioning member of society.

Call me vain, but the way that I look plays a HUGE roll in the way that I feel. If I am in my jammies, I feel lazy and unmotivated. However, a quick change of clothes and a little bit of mascara make me feel as though I am prepared to take on the whole world (and accomplish my word count goals of that day).

Now, if it's my day off and I'm going grocery shopping, then I don't bother with my looks. I don't plan on doing much that matters that day, anyway. But if I'm spending a day trying to accomplish goals that I've set for myself, then I must look like the person that I want to feel like. When I can look in the mirror and see a pulled together person, then I can believe that I am a pulled together person. Otherwise, I just feel like a lazy bum.

Does the way that you look affect how you feel? Does anyone else notice that getting dressed increases productivity for that day?

Rant Post: I Just Want a Home

2013-12-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

I've lived in a lot of houses in the past several years. Most, if not all of them, I have lived in with the intention of only being there temporarily. And I am beyond over it.

I'm going to spare you the tragic details of my chronic bad luck with homes, but I will tell you that there is only one place I can remember living where I wasn't desperate to move out ASAP. That was four years ago. It was a cute little apartment that was only one block away from where I worked, and walking distance from the grocery store and every good restaurant in town. Not to mention the fact that the town's Christmas parade begins in the empty lot across the street every year. I should have stayed there.

But mistakes were made and I moved. I lived in a home where my privacy was invaded (and laws were broken) almost daily by the landlord, and an apartment in which a winter-time water leak turned into a gaping hole in the ceiling and prolonged exposure to black mold and insulation, among other terrible places in bad neighborhoods and with filthy roommates. My boyfriend and I currently rent a spare bedroom in his mom's house, where we have been for the last year. Let me just say that this place deserves an entire rant post of it's own. Maybe two.

I just want a place that is mine, and that is not temporary. I want a place where my bed doesn't also serve as my couch, work desk, dining table, and yoga mat. I want a place where I can buy groceries, and find them still in the pantry right where I left them when it comes time for me to use them. I want to leave the house and be at ease, knowing that my dogs are safe to roam the house and there is no one there who will let them out or feed them things they aren't supposed to eat. I want a place where I can put all of my stuff out, and don't have to keep it in boxes in the garage.

I am turning 24 this month. I have lived in homes I have viewed as temporary, with people who I cannot stand to live with, basically since the age of 17. I think it's time I had a home of my own. One where my boyfriend and I can live with our two dogs in peace. While we can't dream of affording that any time soon (we both might as well be working at a fast food joint for what we're making, but that is yet another rant post for another time), I can still dream.

Because dreaming is the only thing that keeps me going every time my dinner becomes a casualty of someone else's inability to tell a dirty dish from a clean one, and every time I find that someone else in my house has fed my dogs and used all of my laundry detergent AGAIN.

The Most Tasteful Flash Mob Ever

2013-12-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

A video was floating around on my Facebook feed the other day, and it was unlike anything I've ever seen.

A little girl puts a coin into the hat of a street musician, and he begins to play. But to everyone's surprise, one street musician turns into an elaborate flash mob as an entire orchestra joins the ranks to perform Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

A large crowd gathers to watch and enjoy the music. People smile and dance, and whip out their phones to record the event.

This video brought me to tears. I think it was mainly because I've never experienced something like this myself. Seemingly random events like this just don't really happen. People don't do things anymore just for the sake of doing it.

But these people did. They all came together at this one place at this one time, and performed a musical piece together, for no one in particular.

How often do you see someone do something just for the sake of doing it? And how often do you see someone break out of their routine, their journey from point A to B, just to stop and enjoy something they hadn't expected to encounter?

I think that's what got me the most with this. Seeing all of those people put a stop to whatever they were doing to enjoy something wonderful that they didn't expect to see. Also, it was partly because I've never seen a group of people so interested in something classic, something that wasn't new and trendy. Most people I know would have scoffed because it wasn't a hip-hop routine or a Beyonce ballad and kept walking.

Thanksgiving, You've Changed.

2013-11-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or is Thanksgiving just no longer what it used to be?

When I was a kid, it was all about being around family and taking time to remember the things we are thankful for. It was a humble time of joy and gratitude. We had traditions, like sitting around the dinner table and taking turns announcing what you're thankful for. Anyone else remember doing that?

But things slowly started changing over the years. People and traditions evolved, and now I wonder what happened to that holiday I used to enjoy so much. This year, especially, I'm amazed by the attitude people are taking about Thanksgiving. This is what it seems to be all about now:

Impressing others

The family is all getting together, and keeping up appearances is super important. From the four pies you're bringing to the outfit chose, everything needs to impress the extended family members you haven't seen since last year.

Fighting

Domestic violence reports skyrocket on Thanksgiving. Seriously, look up the stats for your local PD.

Stuffing your face

How does eating as much as you possibly can without puking translate to being thankful for what you have? I know people who actually plan what they're going to wear based on how much stretchability it has for an expanding stomach. Gross!

Getting more stuff

All anyone seems to talk about on Thanksgiving anymore is Black Friday. People go out and trample over each other to buy more stuff they don't even need, just hours after they were supposed to be with their families, being grateful for the things they already have. Go figure.

Since when is this Thanksgiving? Instead of remembering to be grateful for what we have, we have turned this holiday into just another excuse to over-indulge ourselves. It's like we've slowly altered it to stand for the very opposite of what it was meant to.

It makes me sad and I don't see what the appeal is in this distorted version of the holiday. To me, Thanksgiving will always be a time for my loved ones and I to reflect on our lives and ourselves, and to remember that we are lucky to have what we do have, whether the harvests were abundant this year or not. It is a time to throw out our constant want for more, and be humble. Maybe even help out those who have less than we do, and give up some of the things we have and don't need.

That's what Thanksgiving is to me.

Lessons in Blogging: Image Hosting

2013-10-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

I opened up my blog this morning to find that every single one of the pictures on it (even the images in the sidebar) were replaced with this image.

In case you hadn't assumed already, I use Photobucket to host all of the photos on my blog, and I've been doing this since the beginning of time. I do this because it's super simple to use the image codes that Photobucket generates for each photo, and then edit the code as I see fit once it's on the blog.

I decided that it was finally time to reorganize all of those photos into sub-albums on the site, not realizing that this would scramble the image source codes. Consequently, I had a lovely time re-coding all of the pictures.

I apologize if my blog looks like crap for a while until I manage to get all of the bad source codes weeded out. I definitely learned a big lesson, and I'm thinking that maybe storing all of my blog's images on Photobucket wasn't such a good idea after all. I'm currently looking for another method rather than just uploading it directly from my computer, which doesn't generate HTML that's easy to play around with at my very limited level of coding knowledge. Looks like I have some serious studying to do.

But please take note: If you use Photobucket for image hosting, and you have the HTML code for that picture posted on your blog or web site, it will not continue to exist there if you move it to another album on Photobucket. That HTML code references the photo exactly where it sits when you generate the code. If only I had realized that around this time yesterday...

Note to Self: Do Whatever the Heck You Want. NOW.

2013-10-08T16:59:00.001-07:00

When I sat down to write this post, I fully intended to vent about how much I hate my day job and so much of my time is wasted doing things I hate and I never have any money and hate this and that. Blah blah.

But somehow, by the end of the post, I managed to turn my attitude around completely. Don't ask me how. So instead of a rant on hate and self pity, this post is about having gratitude for the things I have and taking responsibility for the choices I'm making.

My day job.

I often hate on my day job for many reasons, the biggest being that I don't get paid enough, and my employer is constantly cutting my hours to the point where it feels like I don't really even have a job anymore. But really, I'm glad I have that job. It's that job where I met both the love of my life, and my best friend. They are two amazing people that I'm extremely lucky to know.

Also, I know that I would go nuts if I didn't have this job. I would just be cooped up in my house, pounding away at my keyboard all day. I have to keep reminding myself that this job gets me out of the house and exposes me to other humans, and that's why I took the job in the first place.

My starving bank account.

Entirely. My. Fault. I was originally going to complain that I don't make enough money at work. But in reality, I could just work somewhere else and get paid a lot more. Why don't I? Because I really like working where I work. I think it's fun. And I get plenty of time off in the week to write or get another job. That job wasn't supposed to be my primary source of income, anyway. I'm supposed to be writing for a living and using that part-time job as a backup source of income/a way to get out of the house three times a week. But I don't do that. I've fallen into the typical 'employer controls my life, must work more hours, MUST BE A DRONE' mindset. I really need to get my priorities back in order!

Always wanting to be somewhere else.

Why do I do that? I always feel that in order to make a change in my life, I need to pick up and run away to somewhere no one knows me. Shut up, self. That's a stupid notion. You love Sacramento. Everything you need is here, and your family is close by. You can change anything you want to change, whenever you want to. You don't need to pick up and leave to make those changes. You just need to be more like the person you really are!

I sometimes (read: often) forget that I am the boss of my life. I can do whatever I want to, regardless of who thinks it's crazy or disagrees. Sometimes I let my self-doubt get the best of me, and that keeps me way down in life. I know I'm not the only one.

I just need reminders now and then that if things aren't the way I want them to be, I can change them. It's as simple as that.

What Was I Thinking?! (Crap I Used to Write)

2013-09-27T10:05:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gone back and read through the stuff you wrote in the past?

I just did. And I kind of want to hurl.

I decided it was time to clean up my online appearance. Usually, I will write a post for the blog, hit publish, and then forget it forever. Or once in a while, I'll go through my list of post titles and delete the ones that no longer fit in with what I want for this blog (even though my sense of self and direction on here is blurry at best).

The same thing goes for the articles I self-publish on other web sites. I had seventy-something articles published on there, and many of them had outdated information and were no longer relevant. After all, timeliness is the key to a successful online article, blah blah blah.

So I set time aside, and I actually read through those posts and articles, intending to edit them and add new information as needed.

What I actually ended up doing was just taking most of it down. Immediately. The stuff I had written all that time ago was just outright embarrassing. Where did I even come up with those ideas? Why didn't I elaborate on the subject and did I even bother to use spell check?

Thankfully, I was able to edit some of the content so that it met my current standards for my work, but most of it was not salvageable. I sure did have my work cut out for me!

Aside from the humiliation of having my name attached to that crap, I took away a very valuable lesson from this little exercise.

I'm improving.

It was quite an eye opener to see how much my writing has changed since then. I've gotten so much better, and I've learned a lot. Those posts may have been utter trash, but at least I learned from them! I am getting better with every single word I write, and that inspires me to keep going.

I may not be where I want to be today, but I'll get there as long as I keep going. I'm willing to bet that in a few years, I'll look back at the stuff I'm writing today and think it's crap too. Because what I'll be writing then will be better. As long as I keep going.

One word at a time.

Avoiding Time Wasters

2013-09-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

You know that thing you should be doing, but you're not doing it? That one thing that you really want to get around to, but you just can't seem to bring yourself to sit down and do it until x, y, and z are done.

Maybe it's a project around the house. Maybe it's grocery shopping. There's a good chance it's school or work related.

Mine just happens to be the one thing I enjoy doing most: writing. Yep. I'm a writer. It's what I do. Yet I amaze myself with the excuses I can come up with to stall. I always manage to convince myself that I need to get everything else out of the way before I sit down to write. But before I know it, I've added about a hundred new things to the list, and I end up with a word count of zero at the end of the day.

My biggest distractions are:

Chores. This one is actually kind of a legitimate excuse. I just can't focus when I'm surrounded by mess. So I pick up dirty laundry and do the dishes. But it's not long before I'm vacuuming the floors and cleaning the garage.
Television. I love me some television! I have a few favorite shows (specifically Revenge, Supernatural, New Girl, and Pretty Little Liars), and I absolutely cannot do anything if there is a new episode waiting for me on Hulu.
Other Blogs. Whatever everyone else is writing is vastly more interesting than what I'm writing!
Games. The mysteries of Azeroth call my name. Constantly. It's kind of annoying, actually.

This may be a short list, but these time suckers can quickly consume my entire day if I let them. So how am I dealing with them? It's pretty simple really. Every one of them are directly related to either my home or the internet. So when it's time for me to write, I leave the house and switch the internet off. I write in either a notebook or using a word document so that I don't even have the option of being distracted by anything on the internet.

Another habit I've developed is scheduling. I schedule my entire day out, making sure to set aside time for writing and everything else that needs to be done. Then, I set deadlines for myself. I pretend like these deadlines are life or death situations.

This is how I'm avoiding putting off the things that I want or need to do. I've even managed to fit in a few new things that have been sitting idly on my To-Do list for months!

What are your biggest time-wasters, and how do you deal with them?

Penning my Way Through High Seas

2013-09-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything for a long time. Not blog posts, not articles, not even journal entries. This is not like me. I have always been that girl who had boxes on top of boxes that were overflowing with full notebooks, a journal in her possession at all times, and countless stories brewing on her keyboard.

But I haven't been that girl lately. My writing habits in the last couple of years have been sporadic, to put it lightly. And most of what I have written has been left unfinished, and eventually forgotten about. This isn't like me, and lately I've been wondering why I've been so quick to put the pen down.

I was sure that it was because my life was such a mess. It still is a mess, one that I just can't seem to untangle. I've been drowning. Waves of problems keep coming at me, and I barely have enough time to catch my breath between each one. I have found a few life rafts along the way, but the waters I'm in are full of debris. It's only a matter of time before my raft gets punctured and loses air. Then I'm back out in the water again, relying on my own strength to keep me afloat.

It's been exhausting. No matter how far I swim, or in what direction, I just can't reach land. I get close sometimes, but then I get caught up in a current and end up even further out than I was before.

I thought that this is why I haven't been writing. The waves have been really big lately, and I've found myself in a part of the ocean that is rarely traveled. No ship is coming this way anytime soon. I have to figure out a way to get back into not-so-deserted waters so I can hitch a ride on a ship somewhere, or at least find something to float on while I take a rest.

But then something occurred to me.

I was born in this ocean. These waves have been hitting me since the moment my life began and I have always managed to stay afloat, even through terrifying storms. I just have to remember how I've always managed to deal with the waves in the past.

I picked up a pen, and it all came back to me. Writing is my ship. It is the tool I use to navigate these vast waters. It is my shelter from the storms, and it is the keeper of things I need to survive. It is my home on this ocean.

In the beginning I thought that my exhaustion was to blame for my not writing. But really, it's my not writing that's to blame for my exhaustion. Writing is my way of getting through things, and working things out so I can better deal with them.

Now that I know that, I'm going to write myself the coolest ship anyone's ever heard of. I will fill that ship with everything I could ever want. With my loved ones and my faithful dog aboard, I will explore this vast ocean I've been fighting against for so long. Maybe I'll even write wheels onto it so I can take a little vacation to that land I tried to hard to swim to. And when I get through with the land, maybe I'll write in a rocket launcher so I can ride my ship through the skies.

Maybe...

Pen Pals

2013-06-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

Very few people use snail mail anymore. I, myself, rarely use it. After all, it is so much easier to just type out an email, or send a text message.

But there is still something so exciting about receiving a letter in the mail. Whether it be from a faraway friend, a family member, or someone you've never even met!

I had a pen-pal when I was a little girl. Her name was Allison. I met her through a pen-pal matching program through American Girl (remember the dolls??). She lived in New York and we wrote letters back and forth for a few years. Back then, it was the only way of communicating with someone that far away, aside from making a long-distance phone call that would cost my parents a small fortune. But there was still something so magical about exchanging correspondences this way. I still have all of the letters she sent me, tucked away in a shoe box.

Now, at the age of twenty-three, I have a new pen pal. She is a fellow blogger, and I met her through reading her blog. She lives in Texas, and I've never actually met her in person. But one day we agreed to be pen-pals, and exchanged addresses. We send letters back and forth, discussing life and other things. But it turns out that I'm a pretty bad pen-pal. I have two excuses for this:

She is my friend on Facebook, and I read all of her blog posts. This is exactly why people don't write letters anymore. All you have to do is check out someone's timeline on Facebook, write a few emails, and voila. You are all caught up!
I am an over-thinker. I tend to sit on ideas for outrageous amounts of time. Whenever I want to write something, I ponder the idea for a few days, then I sit down to write it. But I always hate the way it comes out the first time, so I toss it and walk away. I think about it every day, and write it a million different ways in my head, until one day I sit down and just wing it, disregarding all of the planning I have done. It's a vicious, destructive cycle, and I do it with everything, including letters to my pen pal.

But I still enjoy having a pen pal! Even though I am terrible at responding promptly, I still love getting letters in the mail, especially from someone who lives so far away. Holding a physical letter makes the writer seem so real, compared to an email from them on the computer. A snail-mail letter is much more personal. It takes much more time, thought, and care. And that makes it much more special.

Headline: Queensland Heeler Passes for Famous Hyena

2013-05-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

The picture on the left is my dog, Roxy. The picture on the right is Ed, one of the Hyenas from The Lion King. You all know him, right? He's the stupid goofy one who keeps his tongue on a really loose leash.

Recently, someone said to me, "Oh, my god, your dog looks like a hyena!" A few days later, I happened to catch a clip of The Lion King on TV. It was Ed, drooling uncontrollably. The resemblance was unmistakable.

So I had to put together this post, so I could share it with you guys. I think it's hilarious.

PHOTO

Why Are You Laughing?

2013-05-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

It was something I heard daily as a little girl. "Why are you laughing?"

I was that little girl who was wildly entertained by everything everyone else did, and I definitely didn't hide it well. I laughed at everything. Things that the other kids merely chuckled at had me cracking up. And I was relentlessly made fun of for this.

Now, I know why I was like this. I was home-schooled up until sixth grade, so I didn't have much human interaction during that time. That meant that when I finally did get into school and around other kids, everything they did amazed me.

And since I didn't spend any time around other kids before then, I never learned what was normal behavior and what wasn't. I never learned to "play it cool" like all the other kids did. So I went on being amazed by every joke, every cool stunt on the playground, every sarcastic comment.

But the other kids didn't appreciate my appreciation, so I became embarrassed by my laughing, and did everything I could to try and hide it. I started stifling my laugh. Unfortunately, this often turned out looking like I was stifling a sneeze. Not pretty.

So then I started covering my mouth when I laugh, it was the only way I knew to hide the fact that I was laughing. And this became a very bad habit. For years I would cover my mouth with my hand when I laughed, and sometimes just to cover a smile. It was the only way for me to avoid looking uncool to the other kids, and revealing the fact that I was a total weirdo who laughed at everything. But no matter how hard I tried to hide it, I never did grow out of laughing.

The thing is that now, I've learned to be proud of it. Laughing isn't something to be ashamed of. Laughing shouldn't be stifled. If you ask me, all of those other kids who played it cool all the time should be the ones who are ashamed. They hid their emotions from one another. They tried so hard not to show each other that they were affected by another's actions. They all became drones, acting exactly the same as everyone else. All in the name of being cool.

I see now what it was all for. It was all so that they could withhold validation from others. If someone tells a joke, and instead of laughing you make a mean face and walk away, the joke teller is going to feel terrible. They're going to feel embarrassed. That's what everyone wanted everyone else to feel. And my expression of my entertainment messed that all up for them.

So now, I'm thankful that I remained different. I'm grateful that I was the weird one. And Mom, if you're reading this, thank you for keeping me away from other people during those critical learning years of my life. It allowed me to be who I am without having it altered by stupid and pointless social norms.

And from here on out, I won't be trying to hide my laugh. Laughing is just an expression of happiness and joy. It makes you feel good, and it makes those around you feel good. I feel sorry for those kids who taught themselves not to laugh, and I hope they managed to grow out of that phase of stifling emotions. I can't imagine what an unhappy life one must lead if they refuse to laugh when life calls for it.

Bookish Nightmares

2013-04-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

I recently bought a copy of Bossypants by Tina Fey, after the book had been sitting on my To-Read list since well before its release date. I just have to share with you what I dreamed about that very night...

After a long while of anticipation, I finally sit down to read Bossypants. I lean back in my lounge chair, take a sip from a tall glass of fresh iced tea, and begin to read.

I quickly realize that something about this book is terribly wrong. I'm just not comprehending what's going on. None of it makes any sense. It's as if there's a huge part of the story that I missed.

That's when I double-check the cover. To my horror, a single line of fine print reads: "Third installment in the best-selling trilogy."

I gasp, chocking on a mouthful of iced tea. I manage to spit it out all over the book, and the cover becomes spotted with a yucky brown color.

I jump out of my chair and rush to the nearest book store in search of the first two books. After a long hunt on my own, an employee informs me they are sold out. Great. So I move on to the next book store. And then the next.

Before I know it, I have checked every book store within a 200-mile radius of my home. Not one has the first two books in stock!

It's a tragedy. I can't begin to read the book I just bought before I've read the first two books in the series! What ever will I do?

Believe it or not, this story is entirely true. Please tell me there is someone out there who also loves books a great deal and can relate to this. I can't be the only one who has nightmares about accidentally buying the third part of a trilogy before the first two... can I?

Today, the Coffee Shop Comes to ME!

2013-04-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

This is where I write. Every day. For hours at a time. By myself.

Don't get me wrong, I love to write. That's why I do it so much. But this one spot can get pretty old, you know? I've been looking for ways to switch up my scenery while getting my word count in.

Since I love coffee so much (I pretty much drink it all day, every day), naturally I would default to the coffee shop. After all, it has everything I could possibly want while I'm writing.

Never ending supply of coffee.
Those cool tables that are freakishly tall. You know the ones I'm talking about. When you sit in them, your feet dangle in the air, miles above the ground. It's really quite liberating, if you ask me.
Noise. I enjoy the noise of coffee shops very much. Mellow background music, low chattering of other people. It inspires creativity for some strange reason. I get more done in one hour at a coffee shop than I do in the silence of my home.
Power outlets for my laptop, and free wi-fi.

However, as you can imagine, doing this regularly can get pretty pricey. Coffee shops generally aren't very welcoming if you show up every day, order only one drink, and stay for hours. Trust me.

Today, I figured out a way to make my usual writing spot (see picture above) into a coffee shop. I know what you're thinking and no, it's not black magic. It's THIS:

http://coffitivity.com (Go ahead, click the link. But first, prepare to be amazed!)

I found this completely by accident, and it's awesome. It plays a really cool MP3 that mimics the sounds of a coffee shop. So, with that web site and these supplies:

I've got my own coffee shop at home. And I am a happy girl.

Oops, My Nerd is Showing!

2013-03-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

Extremist statement of the day: Harry Potter is a gateway drug.

Harry Potter is to the nerd world as marijuana is to the drug world (supposedly).
Harry Potter is to the nerd world as fish is to vegetarianism.
Harry Potter is to the nerd world as.... eh you get it by now.

It will change you. One day you'll wake up and you will be the nerdiest nerd there ever was, and you'll wonder how on Earth you ended up there. You might think: "but it's just a book! Everyone has read it at least once. I draw the line here, and won't move on to anything else." Well I'm here to tell you that this is false. I should know, it happened to me. And I want to share my story with you.

It all started when I was just out of high school. I had managed to avoid Harry Potter (for the most part) up until then. I was all into hip hop and dotting my i's with little hearts and saying the word 'like' a lot. I tried my hardest to keep it cool. No nerdness allowed.

But I am a writer. I looooove me a good story. So I got curious about Harry Potter. Ten sentences into it, I was hooked. I loved it. It was exciting. It wasn't like those other books I was reading, which told stories that fit within the world I knew and was used to. No, this was a whole new world. One with witches and goblins and HOUSE ELVES!

And so it began. I loved the Harry Potter world so much, I started searching out similar books. Soon, I found myself lost in books like Name of the Wind (if you haven't read it, DO SO NOW). That was when many of my friends gave up on me and left. I had no idea that it was about to get much, much worse.

Of course, I am a writer. And writers don't just read. We like to make stuff up. We like to create characters and then destroy them. We like to think up people and worlds and scenarios and then play the 'what if' game with them. So naturally, I was a huge fan when I discovered The Sims. I would spend hours playing out different scenarios with those little virtual people. It got much more fun when I learned how to mod the game and install fun downloads and cheats that allowed me to get around many of the restrictions of the game.

When this got a little old, I turned to other games. Thus, I was officially introduced to the gaming world.

And it didn't stop there. Nerdiness continued to seep into my life. It affected the movies and T.V. shows I like to watch, the magazines and blogs I like to read, the clothes I buy, the way I decorate my home, even my eating and drinking habits (butterbeer, anyone?).

Now, my life is completely upside down. I spend much of my time in Darnassus, creating potions and selling them in the Alliance Auction House. I am anxiously awaiting the release of the PS4, and the day when someone creates a way to play Quidditch in real life. I shout Avada Kedavra at spiders, I still get all teary-eyed when I watch the last episode of Firefly, and I REALLY miss Rose Tyler.

I firmly believe that, had it not been for Harry Potter, I would still be ignorant of the nerdy life I live now. I wouldn't be concerned with guilds and golden snitches and time machines and mechanical problems on the Serenity.

Or, maybe I was a nerd all along. Maybe it was just hiding away in the darkest corner of my soul and biding its time until its inevitable release. Maybe it would have relentlessly clawed its way out eventually. Either way, I'm here now.

But don't worry I'm still the same girl I've always been...

Bazinga!

P.S. Anyone up for L.A.R.P. in my backyard this weekend? Anyone?

Versatile Bloggers

2013-03-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

I was nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award! This is another one of those tag-you're-it games where you link to fellow bloggers whose blog you really enjoy. Let me just make it very clear that I LOVE THESE!

So thank you, Kimmy, for nominating me! I feel quite honored that you thought of me when awarding for Versatile Blogger.

In case you're new to this, here are the rules:

If you're named as a Versatile Blogger, thank the person who nominated you.
Link to the person who nominated you.
Select 15 bloggers or blogs that you follow and enjoy reading. Nominate them for Versatile Blogger (you might want to let them know somehow, so they can keep the ball rolling).
Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

I don't think that I even read 15 blogs on a regular basis, but there are some that I subscribe to and always love reading.

Kimmy at Inside Kimmy's Mind. Yes, I'm probably cheating by nominating the person who nominated me, but I don't care. She's one of my favorite bloggers. She deserves it.
Sarah at SillyGrrl. She's a web designer. She has saved me several times with her blogging advice, and it's always really fun to read about her adventures in aerial acrobatics.
Kristie at Kristie Was Here. I love reading her posts because she's always so honest. She is incredibly inspiring.
Jenna at Recently Roached. She's hilarious!

Wow, that's only four. I really need to start expanding my horizons...

So I'm really not sure how much Kimmy knows about me already, but I'm really not that interesting. I don't think I could tell a complete stranger 7 things they don't know about me. But I'll give it a shot, anyway.

I am a huge fan of coffee. It's pretty much the best thing in the world, in my opinion.
I like all kinds of music. Seriously, I can jump from 50 Cent to Ellie Goulding to the Silversun Pickups to Irish folk music. I do not discriminate.
I am quite the closet-feminist. You usually won't know it until someone says something stupid like "girls belong in the kitchen" and I'll flex my muscles and bite their head off.
I am also a closet-gamer. I just got into World of Warcraft, and now I am quickly losing my grip on reality. (More on this in a future post, I think...)
I put sour cream on everything. If I happen to be eating something that I can't put sour cream on, I will dip it in sour cream. All of the extra fat I have on me can be attributed to this, but I just can't bring myself to care.
I love my dogs. They keep my up off my butt for significant amounts of time.
I hate matching socks more than any other chore there is.

There. Seven things Kimmy probably doesn't know about me. That's seven things the rest of you probably didn't know, either. Feel free to participate on your own blog, even if I didn't link to you above. You can leave a link to your post in the comments below! And if you want to know more about Versatile Blogger Awards, read about it <HERE>. Have fun!

Oh, Please Excuse the Mess...

2013-02-25T11:56:00.001-08:00

I know it's a disaster up in here.

I neglect this blog like it's no body's business. Well, apparently it really is no body's business lately. My business should be all up in this shizz like it's the thing to do this season. Because it is the thing to do, you know? But I'm not doing it.

What I'm trying to say is, I know I'm not keeping up with this blog like I should. Believe me, I slap myself on the wrist every day because of it. It keeps me up at night. Sometimes I dream about my poor blog drowning in an ocean of disconnected and scattered words. Words that should be organized content on my blog.

Trust me, I'm working on it. I'm working very hard. So hard, that I'm even taking an online course in HTML so I can redesign this blog myself. So far, I haven't been happy with any of the pre-made layouts I've chosen because they all feel so generic. I want to be able to customize everything. I want this blog to be 100% mine. So keep an eye out for new a new layout and design in the near future!

And I sincerely thank those of you who are still reading, regardless of my sporadic attendance here. Those of you who subscribe still are troopers and I appreciate you! I promise, things will get better. Soon. Expect a steep incline in the quality of this blog, guys!

Alternative Attitude...

2013-01-28T11:27:00.001-08:00

After giving it much thought, I decided not to make any "resolutions" or "goals" this year. After my complete failure to keep the ones I made last year (not that I even remember them), I've decided to take a different approach this year.

I'm abandoning all expectations. I'm choosing to live this year free.

Free of the pressure to get up every morning and work out so I can acheive that fitness goal I set for myself. I'm just fine the way I am.

Free of the never ending reading list I assign myself. I find that when I really want to read something, it gets added to the bottom of a list of 20 books (or more!). I will read what I want, when I feel like it. I'll enjoy it a lot more because it's no longer an ongoing chore.

Free of the stress of completing a task just because I promised myself I would. I will not force change on myself because it's trendy to commit to change of some kind at the begining of every year.

I change every day. Things are happening all the time that make me think, teach me something new, and alter my opinions. Those little changes are the ones that I will embrace this year.

Because it's not always about the big picture. When I look back on my life later, it won't be the years that I remember. It will be specific moments and events that I experienced. I don't want to overlook those because I'm too focused on what I'm 'supposed' to be doing.

I know it's already almost February, but I wish you a happy 2013. I hope you sqeeze as much out of it as you possibly can!