Mistakes !

My Dying Hope

2010-02-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

You used to be mine, but in my stupidity, we end up there. I regret those times, but I had nothing to do for it. I just hope and wait for you to come back. But yet I saw you with her. Right away I loose it all, I never bother to wait for you, I taught myself to forget you though it kills me so hard. From the time I saw myself contented of not having you in my life, destiny played me so bad. You came in my way again, begging for my help. With tears behind my eyes I accept your hand waiting for me to hold. From the day I started to ease your pain I know how much I would regret after all. But yet I never mind, as long as I could help you in any way.

We spend time together. And I found myself so happy with you. Days had past I realized again how much you mean to me, deeper than before. I also saw you so contented, never having a blot of pain anymore. I just think everything is so fine and forever be fine.

Tomorrow then, I am so happy seeing you. Wearing those smile came from your very heart. Then shocked me for those very long hug, then whisper me these:

“ Thank you for the help, I know you still love me, and I appreciate that very much. I know that when I am happy you’ll be very happy too,. And you know what, she call me last night, she wants me to be with her again, I am so happy that I can’t wait for this morning to see her again. But I’m here asking for your permission if you will allow me to be happy forever”.

Breaking myself into pieces, I answered you “yes” ..you kissed me goodbye and walk away without seeing how much you kill me. Though that would be a forever wound.., I can take it even forever just to make you reach your forever happiness. I’ll just be here with my -Dying Hope-..

I'll Never Let You Go

2010-02-08T04:59:00.000-08:00

Many times I have loved and lost, for so long my heart lay shattered and broken. I have given up on life and pieces of my heart scattered, have left it bleeding, numbing with pain.

Then you came along, patiently you picked them up, unceasingly healing it back with the warmth of your love. Slowly my heart began to feel again, like a flower awakening to the warmth of the sun. Bringing life and it's splendor back in existence into my world.

Yet with all the love you showered, the care you've lavished, reluctance still lurks in my heart and mind. You've given me everything and asked for nothing. Healed my heart, given me hope and selflessly asked that I let you love me in return. That was all you've ever asked from me, yet even that I didn't give.

I cannot blame you, everyone and everything has it's limit... even love... It's true that you never know what you have until you've lost it...

It's been 8 years since I left you and never a day pass that I don't think of you. It maybe late, maybe you've found someone who loves you and you love in return. Maybe you have now the kids you've always wanted and would have given up because for me. Maybe you're now living the life that you've always wanted, a loving wife, bunch of kids, home cooked dinners and picnics on Sundays.

Know that I'm happy for you, and that the love and care you've shown and given me was never a waste. It maybe a little late, but winter gave way to spring and I have you to thank for that.

Maybe we weren't meant to be together in this lifetime, maybe you were meant just to heal my heart so that it'll know your love.

In the next lifetime when we meet, my heart will know you and remember your love. And by then my true love, I will never let you go....

Illusion

2010-02-08T04:53:00.000-08:00

All i seem to think about is you, I sit here and try not to cry. Everyone is asking me why, why am I so dam depressed. I say it's nothing, but they know it's something. You are the reason!!! I love you so much, but it hurts so bad, to know that I can't have your tender touch.

My days n nights are so lonely, I think I might be going crazy. Your love is the only thing I need in this world, and without you I'm not whole.

I hate seeing you and not being able to be with you, I hate to see you laugh, because I know I am hurting so deep inside. Why should you be happy when I can't even laugh without you popping in my mind. My laugh turns to tears......... Why can't I get over you?

I need you in my life, my world seems so blue. Nothing makes me happy anymore. You took your love away, and I fell apart! but it seems like you don't even care! So why should I?

I wish I could just forget about you, I hurt you so now I guess you have to hurt me.

Hurt Me Again

2010-02-08T04:18:00.000-08:00

All i seem to think about is you, I sit here and try not to cry. Everyone is asking me why, why am I so dam depressed. I say it's nothing, but they know it's something. You are the reason!!! I love you so much, but it hurts so bad, to know that I can't have your tender touch.

My days n nights are so lonely, I think I might be going crazy. Your love is the only thing I need in this world, and without you I'm not whole.

I hate seeing you and not being able to be with you, I hate to see you laugh, cuz I know I am hurting so deep inside. Why should you be happy when I can't even laugh without you popping in my mind. My laugh turns to tears......... Why can't I get over you?

I need you in my life, my world seems so blue. Nothing makes me happy anymore. You took your love away, and I fell apart! but it seems like you don't even care! So why sould I?

I wish I could just forget about you, I hurt you so now I guess you have to hurt me.

Forever Love =)

2010-02-08T03:57:00.000-08:00

The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew, that we'd spend this life side by side I still feel the same though you are so far away I swear that you'll always be mine, forever love I promise you someday we'll be together forever love, I wont give up no matter what I'll be waiting for you forever love.Minutes and hours and years may go by but my heart knows nothing of time so dont cry just keep me right there in your dreams and hold onto these words of mine.
Forever love I promise you someday we'll be together forever love I wont give up no matter what I'll be waiting for you forever love is the road to our destiny nothing can change what is meant to be forever love no I wont give up no matter what I'll be waiting for you forever.

Waiting

2010-02-08T03:55:00.000-08:00

You've let me down, you've let me believe, you've walked away and you let me grieve.
You told me your life, and i told you mine, we told each other everything would be fine.
Secret loving was the game that we played, leaving me with a heart now frayed.
You had your chance, you had to decide, once again you chose her, it killed me inside.
I am not brave enough to tell you, I'm not strong enough to walk away, you will know in time, hopefully one day.
One day your gonna realize what you really missed, the way you took my heart and crushed it in your fist.
I say that i wont be there again for you to just break me, but i know that i will, how long will it take me?
Its sad that i am so vulnerable to you, after all you put me through.
But i cant walk away, your all that i want, so i will wait until i have our love to flaunt.
There comes a point where i just don't care how long it takes, I've made bad choices, I've made mistakes.
So i guess you'll be another one to add to the list, but at least this time, I'll take my heart from your fist.
I know one day, we'll come through, so when you finally wake up, I'll be here, waiting..for you...!

Blind Girl

2010-02-08T00:54:00.000-08:00

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. “JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES PLEASE.”

This is how humans change when their status changes. Only few remember what life was before, and who has always been there in the most painful situations.

Hum To Har Baat ko Khuda Pe Chor Dete Hain, Totay Na Dil Kisi ka, Dil Apna Tor Dete hai

Main Bhi Insan Hon Pathar Nahin... Jo Log Har Toofan Ko Meri Janib Mor Dete Hai =)

My Story

2010-02-08T00:52:00.001-08:00

I close my eyes alone in the tub. The bathroom has always been a silent place for me. I sit and think of you for another hour. I wish so much you could see all the pain you have caused.
I had fallen in love once and that was with you, and not once I regret it. The love between us no one could replace. The endless love making with your warm embrace. I think of all the things that went wrong with us.

When you decided to become the big time player and I decided to change into, what you wanted me to be. But i realized you should love me for me, however you never did.
I truly miss you with all my heart and nothing or no one will change that part. Sometimes I wish for the strength to hurt you. However whenever I see you my body becomes weak and I can barely speak.

I will get over you, it just takes time. I need to let you go because your no longer mine. I am jealous of your beautiful boy yet I do with for happiness in her world. Just to let you know I will be ready. When you come back to me like you always do. But this time I wont run back to you. I can say this so, its time to let me let you go.
I'm over everything especially you. This is something I'm willing to do. I cant get hurt again, its to much pain to take. My heart isn't yet whole from the first heart break. I open my eyes, my mind is clear. Am Awake At This time,
[drowning in my own tears]

Island Of Feelings

2010-02-08T00:50:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name. When they arrived on dry land, the elder went her own way. Love, realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.

The Ring

2010-02-08T00:48:00.000-08:00

A girl was sitting on a chair at the gas station she worked at. She looked up and saw her boyfriend walk in. As he was looking at snacks, a man walked in and pointed a gun at her. He had been admiring her ring her boyfriend had given to her as a token of his love. When he asked her to give it to him, she said no. Her boyfriend looked up just in time to see her shot. He ran over to the killer and beat him over the head with a hammer that was for sale. Then he ran and called 911. When the ambulance came, he was sobbing uncontrollably near his girlfriend.

The doctor came over and felt for her pulse. Then he stood up and said she was still alive. Later at the hospital, as he was sitting beside her, he asked"Why didn't you just give him the ring?" and then she softly spoke"Because when you gave it to me, you said it was part of your love for me and I knew if I gave him the ring, I would lose that love." The next day, she was pronounced dead.

Missing You

2010-02-07T04:31:00.000-08:00

As I look back on all that's happened.. growing up,
growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed
together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I
realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be
gone forever.. and whatever the future holds, our today's make the memories of
tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold ...

Lonely ~ Akon

2010-02-07T04:28:00.000-08:00

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, I was dreaming, for her I was Feeling, so I had to take a little ride, back tracking over these few years, trying figure out what I do to make it go bad, cause Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashing Can't believe I had a girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put you through you still stuck.
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke your heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I Really wanna make things right, cause without you my life is so lonely!

True Love Story !

2010-02-07T04:21:00.000-08:00

Here's a story of a girl who left all alone in her life... I was in 9th grade when a guy started loving him like hell. He was actually crazy for me. Used to gift me flowers, chocolates and many more and I never ever accepted his proposal.He even cut his nerves and wrote my name on his wrist which was actually too daring but still I never ever realized his love for me. I always thought it's just an infatuation. But he never stepped back. In the school parties he used to follow me although his subjects were different but still he used to manage that. The irritating thing he did was he hired a Video maker to shoot only my video in the school party. Which was too much... But when his friends asked him about this he used to say he is crazy for me. Not even him all our tachers as well. And it was still me who was not realizing his love.

Every day he used to follow me from school till my home and this happened for at least 3 years. But one day he didn't come I thought he might be busy with something. And the days passed away I couldn't see him. I thought he is fed up of coming after me. But I started missing him. After 2 months when he didn't come after me I met his friend and asked about him. I came to knew that he is in Hospital, there are only 3 months left for him to live. As he got Brain tumor which was not curable I was stunned. I couldn't stop myself and rushed to the hospital where I saw him lying in the bed and only asking for me. And when he saw me there I think he was the happiest person on this world he said that he really loves me and wants to marry me. I knew the truth but I accepted his proposal we couldn't marry but I gave him my love for next 3 months. I gave him all I have physically as well as mentally.

I recall that day when he was in his last stage. He was terribly weak and there were only three words he was saying that he loves me more than anything and will come back in my life soon. He was just praying for one thing that in every Birth he gets me as his love.

He is no more now I lost him on 15th March 04 but I have his love for me... Our baby (which came when we made love in those 3 months) and I have never married anyone. As I don't want to share our love with anyone. It's been a year passed I am living with my baby and with his love. I know he is there with me and will protect me every time.

LoveBallad

2010-02-07T04:12:00.000-08:00

Since you've been gone... Every morning when I get out of bed, I look into the mirror
hoping to find my smile. But as usual, no smile. I look and I look, but it's
nowhere to be found. I keep my eyes peeled wherever I go, but still no luck.
When I try to think just where it might be... I can't help but wonder... if
maybe you know where I left my smile, 'cause the last time I saw it, I was with
you.

2010-02-07T04:09:00.000-08:00

They say memories last forever. I sit here, thinking about you, and all the times I had you by my side. I remember the smiles that crept on my face and the happy tears that ran down my cheeks. I see your warm, gentle eyes looking at me, and I can feel your presence when I close my eyes, but when I reach for you, I feel you slipping away... It's like my memory is fading.

I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you

Will I Ever See You Again ?

2010-02-07T03:51:00.000-08:00

Will I ever see you again?
My dear friend?

Why did we have to say Good-bye so quickly that night? I had so many things that I wanted to ask you and tell you! You left without warning, No way to stop it, No way to stop the pain That I now feel.

Why is it that everyone Has to die? Why can’t we all stay alive Live forever and be content!? Then we could fix our mistakes, Change the wrongs And make them right. So no one has any pain anymore?!

Maybe we missed something Along the long winding path. Did we stray from it
In doing so, forgetting What we have or had?

But everyone has to die someday To live again and be happy and content In spirit and in my heart Is where I will keep you. Till the day we can see each other again” ?

Dark Corner !

2010-02-07T03:44:00.000-08:00

Somewhere There's Someone Who Dreams Of Your Smile, And Finds In Your Presence That Life is Worth While.....

So When You Are Lonely, Remember It's True:
Somebody, Somewhere Is Thinking Of You

A Dark Corner Where The Spiders Crawl Over My Back And The Rats Look Up To Me Like A God. Where i Sit And Cry, Crimson And A River Of Blood Flows From My Arm.I Scream But No One Hears Me..

The Real Love

2010-02-07T03:35:00.000-08:00

You'll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening..

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad because I miss you I remind myself how lucky I'm to have someone so special to miss

2010-02-06T21:34:00.000-08:00

I Look Into Your Great Brown Eyes,
Where Love And Loyal Homage Shine

And Wonder Where The Difference Lies

Between Your Soul And Mine

As Long As You Live

2010-02-06T21:31:00.000-08:00

To Say That You Can Love One Person All Your Life,

Is Like Saying That One Candle Will
Continue To Burn For As Long As You Live

2010-02-06T21:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love. And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes... you get it back and live happily ever after.

2010-02-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

Before you met me, you were sad, i was as happy, then i gave you my smile , and took away your sadness,

And now I'm going away forever, will take your sadness and hide it in some part of my life and you will never feel that the smile up there is not yours.. its mine.

2010-02-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

I know that time can never change the love I have for... Except to make it deeper still with everything we do... In all my dreams of coming years, You play the greatest part,for I know that time will never change the luv within my heart.

2010-02-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

I Was Never, One To Patiently Pick Up Broken Fragments And Glue Them Together Again.. I Know Well What Lies Beyond My Sleeping Refuge, The Nightmare I Built My Own World To Escape ...

Dont Ever Leave

2010-02-05T22:51:00.000-08:00

I cant sleep tonight, I'm too busy thinking about u,about us.i really care about u N I'm so terrified that if i told u my true feelings about u that i would scare u away.
So i hold my feelings in and i write them down and i hope that one day you'll feel the same way too..!