Is social media to blame for an increase in extramarital affairs? I doubt it. More than doubt, I find the idea that a communication channel can be blamed for the choices of individuals as ridiculous as stating “the devil made me do it”. It seems that some counselors in Tulsa would prefer to see married couples unplug in order to avoid betrayal of one’s spouse. I suspect, like dogs in a park full of trees, human beings would have affairs by whatever means necessary. On a taxi ride home from the airport at a time when I was having a long distance relationship, the taxi driver asked me “aren’t you worried that your boyfriend will cheat on you?” I answered “isn’t he worried I may cheat on him? … either way we have trust or we have nothing and if either of us were to cheat it would not be a reflection of the other person.” We can’t hide inside our bedroom closet and cut off communication with the outside world because we fear loss. Fear is the opposite of love. In marriage there is a promise to be faithful, but in everyday there is a choice for both partners. Neither can control the other nor the circumstances or environment surrounding them. You can only ever hold true to yourself, your values, your character and your present moment. I like what my good friend Graham Long @waysidepastor says … “equally free, not equally bound.” The internet has provided us more opportunities and channels to communicate but before we call a witch hunt on social media think a little … I don’t recall anyone blaming the telephone directory because they made it easy for you to find the number and address of your “old flame”.

My final thought is that social media has not contributed to the increase of affairs, but it may well have contributed to the increase in affairs being uncovered. Social media has provided more ways for you to get caught having an affair. Digital signposts left all over cyberspace, makes a network of deceit vulnerable to discovery. A lesson I learnt the hard way, (but thankfully very young) was to NEVER put anything in writing that may incriminate you at a later date. Integrity is character … do no wrong, fear no evil.