Misusing eCards

You remind me of my last boyfriend... except for the verbal abuse.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 04:11:00 +0000

You know those videos we made? They're on YouTube. Totally my bad.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:35:00 +0000

The safe word is "Ponyboy."

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 04:34:00 +0000

I bought us matching leopard print thongs!

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 04:32:00 +0000

Photo Credit: juuichimei / sxc.hu

My porn name is Mad Dog Martin Luther King, Jr.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 04:30:00 +0000

Photo Credit: reznor70 / sxc.hu

Would you, could you, on your knees? Could you, would you, do me, please?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 04:31:00 +0000

How do you feel about dudes with swords?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:17:00 +0000

Will you or your sister go out with me?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:18:00 +0000

I don't cry after sex only during.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 04:18:00 +0000

I'd get a sex change for you.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:45:00 +0000

Photo Credit: weirdvis / sxc.hu

Nice! The Cialis is finally kicking in.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 04:41:00 +0000

Do bugs turn you on?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 04:39:00 +0000

Photo Credit: Konrad Mostert / sxc.hu

Honey, I swear... This isn't what it looks like.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:28:00 +0000

For a dude with a beer gut, you're not TOO disgusting.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 06:38:00 +0000

Photo Credit: mzacha / sxc.hu

How flexible are you?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:44:00 +0000

Photo Credit: Martin Sach / www.design-networx.de

Did you cry at the end of "From Justin to Kelly"? I sure did.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 06:36:00 +0000

I want a divorce.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:36:00 +0000

You know, for a fatty... you're kind of cute.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 01:55:00 +0000

If Jesus were still around, he'd want a Wii, too.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:52:00 +0000

I decked the halls and shattered my hand.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:51:00 +0000

I donated $50 to charity in your name. Just kidding, I'm cheap.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:49:00 +0000

Santa's bringing sexy back.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:48:00 +0000

I'll jingle your bells if you roast my chestnuts.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:44:00 +0000

Nothing says Christmas like an army of midget slaves making toys in a workshop.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:42:00 +0000

Photo Credit: Richard Sweet / www.richardsweet.com

I killed a guy for the last iPod at Target. His blood is on your hands.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark J. Lehman) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:38:00 +0000