Oases

When He Becomes Emotionally Unavailable

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:33:00 +0000

Hi guys, you might want to look up this LINK before reading the writ below.
This is more like a rejoinder

Okay, so here goes.....

Most guys are used to love bombing or gas-lighting, as the case may be.
Please read more about GASLIGHTING HERE and LOVEBOMBING HERE

As ladies, we sometimes wonder where we got it wrong, if it's a crime to show emotions and love passionately, because we find somewhere down the relationship that our loving overtures and care is met with outright resistance. This continues for a while until we are finally able to write the guy off. Sometimes, when they come back, it's either too late or never as it used to be.
We move on to another person, and it's like a cycle.

For starters, we ladies must realize that we cannot keep doing things the same way and expect different results.
The reason why the guys who employ this sick method are able to get to us is because we look up to things that are without for validation. For example, we can only love ourselves and see ourselves as beautiful if that guy (who more oft than not is emotionally unavailable) sees us as such.
It is sad that we have attached our worthiness as humans to things that are without (e.g., people's affirmations, our cars, money, jobs e.t.c).
Smh.

Until they start looking inwards, within....for joy, peace, love, whole self acceptance and what have you...ladies aren't going to be redeemed anytime soon.
You will know that you are making progress when someone calls you Ugly or Fat or a Failure, and you look at them and smile....why? Because you have become connected to the reality that however you are, your curves, your contours, your smoothness, your sleekness, your edges, even the so-called imperfections are the same things that make you so amazingly beautiful and wonderful.
Let me ask this question:- How many of us can really believe this about ourselves?
Even if we can, we would rather allow society be our yardstick of acceptance, both of self and others.

And just so you know sis, I haven't arrived either, I am not perfect. But then, I'm determined to leave this world better than I met it, and that entails working on becoming a better me....

My dear sister, learn to be your own best friend, your own motivator. Learn how to be mentally strong enough to let go of emotionally abusive people and relationships. Do not let them and the negative energy they exude be the defining factor of your life.
Stop acting out of desperation. Do not become an "anything goes" lady.
Show yourself some dignity! Stop feeling like the guy is doing you a favor by dating or marrying you.
You are as much a blessing to him as he is to you:-* You are not valueless my dear, please rise above your mind.
Be confident enough that whatever you desire for yourself, you can have.
Dis-identify from the negative tendencies of your mind.
Your true nature as a woman is one that every celestial being envies.
Die daily to your ego. Allow your true being, your true consciousness grow more and more within you.
You are enough. You are worthy. You are complete. You are whole.
^^How willing you are to believe this about yourself is a direct determinant of the proportion of changes you will see in your life.

Sometimes, it's okay to be selfish. A love you have not given to yourself, you cannot give to others, and cannot receive from others either.

A word is enough for the wise.

Seeing Beyond Political Views

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 10 Aug 2015 13:28:00 +0000

DISCLAIMER:-

The views portended herein aren't meant to be foisted down anyone's throat as I'm a firm believer in the parlance; "to each, his own path".

I'm an inclusivist and a pacifist. I believe that if given the chance to, and all things being equal, I have the capacity to love a "devil".

It is common knowledge today that never a time in Nigeria's history have her people shown so much interest in governance, and by extension, politics.

Never a time also, has politics been this massively divisive. I have always held the view that the last general elections was an ethno-religious war which was executed using ballot paper and ink.

Gradually but steadily gaining momentum, we are reaching the epoch of an era where our whole acceptance of one another is based largely on political affiliation, not tribe anymore (or as it used to be).

I watched with interest, two Saturdays ago, at my neighborhood market, how two kids, not above 13 by my estimation kept throwing vitriols at each other...their banter was in the lines of...

Kid‎ 1:- Me I dey support Jonathan, una be wayo. PDP!! Power!

Kid 2 :- "Oloshi! Ode niyen! Ole Buruku! Which kain PDP‎, PDP wey don chop all Nigeria money finish, you no see as light dey now, God go punish you and that your jonathan. Sai Buhari Joor!!!!

^^It is a reflection of what we, the adults have instilled in them. Even in our discussions, especially online, it has become a case of kill or be killed (verbally). The moment a person posits a comment which doesn't tally with that which we believe, automatically, our psychological defenses/offensives build up, we wait out an available opportunity to shoot them in the head (verbally).

It is becoming really worrisome that we cannot co-exist side by side with differing views.

"It's either our way, or the highway."

Among locales, you now hear stuff like "I AM APC" "YOU ARE PDP"

Individuals now derive their sense of identification from a political party and by extension, drawing a sense of worth and self from there.

Personally, I think this is a well thought out, veritable mind control manipulation tool which the elite uses, to keep the masses on a tight leash while ensuring that we fight their wars. We have been reduced to mere foot soldiers, who do not really gain any dividend of democracy, but defend these folks, even when they are clearly in the wrong like our lives depended on it.

Never a time have our youth from both sides of the divide been heavily bribed ‎to defend whichever side the elite need them to support, with a mandate to bring down those who do not share their views using subtle threats, emotional blackmail, cyber bullying, hurling scathing invectives and whatnots.

Now, let me come a little more closer to home.

The moment some of us declared support for a political party, ideology or politician, we lost friends, if we didn't lose them as friends, then surely, the bonds which once held us closely knit to one another became loosened.

In our social circles, online, offline, we are accepted wholly because we support one of either parties, either loudly, or by proxy.

Let me ask this question...I will use myself as an example...

To my close friends who are unapologetically GEJites, what would be your reaction be today if I announced that I no longer see anything good in GEJ ideologies, that my conviction has changed?

Would you still love, extol and honour me? Or would you consciously and unconsciously do anything to see me fall, because you're of the belief that I'm a political prostitute, a betrayer and whatever vitriol you seek to label me with?

Today, I congratulate the men and women who have remained true to one another despite‎ the difference in polarity, as it relates to political leanings/persuasion.

I congratulate those who still seek to love wholeheartedly, those who do not share their views.

I salute those who will not allow themselves be blinded by hate and unwarranted distrust for their fellow man.

Today also, I enjoin us to value friendship, fellowship and brotherhood above partisanship.

I enjoin us to see everyone as our brother, and sister.

While it is true that it is easier to love those whom we're on the same page with, I reckon that it is not an impossible feat to think good thoughts, and accept those who don't share our views.

The reality remains that some of us will be vocal in our support or dis-support ‎of this government, the reality is that we will not always agree with one another, sometimes, the views your friend portends will likely annoy you and you will likely lash out, I think it is healthy to do so, instead of beefing them, and while speaking your mind, please be careful not to cross that line, be careful that your actions aren't borne out of hate or averseness. Show more tolerance, apply diplomacy.

I believe that we can rise above hate, malice, vituperations, vitriols and whatnots.

I believe that on this cyberspace and offline, we can apply subtle jabs that don't bother on hate and bitterness, and still engage in healthy arguments. Yes We Can.

The Transformation, The Change, ‎The Positive Overhaul that we so desire for this nation must start with us.

How ready are we?

Living And Suffering Are Directly Proportional --->> Opinion

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 29 Jun 2015 12:23:00 +0000

That theater of dreams, of hopes, of lives to be lived, of expectations, of successes, of failures.

We sometimes struggle with who we are, heck, more oft than not, we are clueless who we are or who we wanna be.

We'd rather not go through the painful process of getting to realize who and what we are meant for.

I quite share the sentiments of those who tow this path. Why bother? Why allow oneself go through the fire? Why go through times of harrowing depression and different forms of identity crises, all in a bid to find self?

Why do all these, when there are already made personalities and identities in the world that we can easily garb on?

Before I go on, I want to apologize to my dear and esteeemed readers and visitors for not updating.

I have had a number of issues to deal with, but I'm back and better for it.

So, as I was saying...

Why should a sane human allow himself go through suffering? Apparently part of our human existence, we have developed and still developing plethora upon plethora of means and devices, to put an end to our sufferings.

Yet, no matter the mask we put on, we find that life's no thorough fare. In our pursuit of happiness, of the perfect life, and of perfection, we find that we're still shrouded in the inevitable; SUFFERING.

Well, what if? What if suffering is really a part and parcel of our existence?

What if suffering is meant to help us on our way up to transcendence?

What if suffering is the only way our true identities can be forged? By "Suffering" I mean experiencing unpleasant stuff.

How come some of us have mastered the art of glorying in our sufferings; counting it all joy...

Whereas, a large bulk of humanity would rather wallow in misery, in pain and in self pity....living in denial.

Why do we become hopeless or begin to tow that path at the sight of tell tale signs of unfavorable life tides, why?

Why do we find it so herculean a task to realize that we have all it takes to be better, and then subsequently take responsibility for our lives?

Why do we allow other people project their insecurities on us?

Why do we allow people define us, our existence?

Why, why are we so apt to believe the negative about us and allow it form our perception of self?

These things ought not to be.

We cannot keep doing things the same way and expect different results.

we must learn to stand for ourselves, and let our sense of belonging and identity come from within.

The truth is that, there's no more fulfilling way to live other than being whom your human spirit bears witness to, that you're meant to be.

I am going to talk about myself for a bit.

Those who know my online antecedents can testify that happenings in my life has been the main inspiration for this writ.

Before now, I used to be very proactive in giving romance and motivational counseling. One thing led to another and I lost the flair to counsel in those lines. I became more politically inclined, now that in itself was confusing to me, I'd thought of it then as some guilty pleasure, it didn't make sense to me how I could be so indifferent about politics and politicians (was I really so?) and all of a sudden, okay, almost all of a sudden, I find myself deep in this that I almost don't want to do anything else, many extra-curricular stuff I engaged in suffered for it. This blog, our blog is a testament.

Guess what, I was met with opposition, the ones that hurt more came from friends, in their opinion, I should go no where near politics, it was bad and dangerous for me, it would make me ill-mannered and intolerant....

Did I listen to them?

Yes I did!

I stayed away.

A seemingly endless tirade of mires and confusion it wa for me. I WAS PLUNGED INTO AN E-IDENTITY CRISIS, one that I've only started recovering from just recently; But that didn't stop my passion.

I wanted to know more about the business of governance, and the online world provided perfect opportunity, so I came right back!

And I determined that there would be no stopping me again.....no matter what.

It's been 3 months and counting.

Have I lost friends? Yes.

Have I gained new ones? Yes.

Will I lose more? Yes.

Will I gain new ones? Yes.

How is my life now? Do I feel a sense of emptiness? No.

Do I feel like I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing at the moment? No.

Does that stop me from giving relationships/motivational counseling when I can? No.

Do I feel a better sense of fulfillment these past days, Yes.

Can I get better than I am now and strike a balance among the things I'm passionate about? Yes, Yes & Yes!

AND SO CAN YOU!

The reason I'm sharing this story isn't to sound highfalutin or blow my trumpet, no.

I have always maintained that I do not want people to look at me and see some girl who is this definition of human perfection, no; I want people to see me for my good, and for my flaws. At the end of my sojourn in this world, I want to be remembered as someone who truly rose above her weaknesses, and as someone who was neither ashamed nor afraid to share her being with the world, however she was; one who truly rose above, despite her human limitations.

I am sharing a part of me, so you'd know that no matter the suffering you're going through, be it emotional or mental, or even financial, that you're never alone.

Take responsibility for your life today.

Identify with yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Stop looking to people to do the bulk of the work for you.

Embrace suffering, in whatever way it comes, it is inevitable. Pain is what is optional.

Do not let people stamp a negative identity on you.

Do not let their negative perception of you stand.

Believe that you are the best.

Speak it to yourself, even when it feels like lies and mumbo jumbo.

If you haven't started the journey yet, begin now, to walk your walk of self discovery.

You are bound to falter and fall most times, but continue.....perhaps you started out, but now feel so discouraged to keep on, let this writ spur you, let it encourage you.

Those who are miles ahead of you, in whatever endeavor(s) it is that catches your fancy, began with a step.

TAKE THAT STEP TODAY.....You'll get there.

Just Believe.

I'd Rather My State Of Being Remains Joyful Than Happy

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 16:17:00 +0000

JoY is a state of Being

Happiness is a state of emotions.

Yes! There's a difference between joy and happiness. Let's prod further, shall we?

"The difference between shallow happiness and a deep, sustaining joy is sorrow. Happiness lives where sorrow is not. When sorrow arrives, happiness dies. It can't stand pain. Joy, on the other hand, rises from sorrow and therefore can withstand all grief. Joy, by the grace of God, is the transfiguration of suffering into endurance, and of endurance into character, and of character into hope--and the hope that has become our joy does not (as happiness must for those who depend up on it) disappoint us." ~ Walter Wangerin Jr.

Joy is borne out of the supernatural and spiritual...it is deeper, it produces this peace and contentment, despite life's surmounting difficulties. It is largely connected to belief in the divine.

Happiness on the other hand is what we all crave. It is why we wake up every other Monday to begin life's rat race ---> To quench an insatiable need for money and the good things of life.

It is the reason we wear the best make up on our faces, attend gym workouts, shave, trim, massage, and flatter ---> To catch the attention of those with whom we perceive we're "in love" or want attracted to us.

The latter's more superficial.

Some of us prefer something genuine, something that would outlast that seeming ephemeral and rather peripheral emotional sway; That which causes us to smile and look up to the hills from whence cometh our help....

My dear, YOU need Joy!

Next time you look yourself in the mirror, say this out loud to the person you see there...

"Hi there, I know about your struggles lately...I know how much of a sucker you to think you are in certain areas...

Well just so you know; I (insert your name here) am proud of you.

I am proud of your unseeming achievements.

I am proud of your will to live.

I am proud of you because I know you won't give up.

As a matter of fact, I am proud of the person you're becoming.

I am proud of you because I see you for who you really are (Now go ahead and say just one thing you like about yourself, don't stop there, think of something else, don't stop either, a third one's coming.....just continue till you can't think of anything else - How do you feel now)?

If you cannot envision yourself saying the above stated to yourself, then you need either or both of these - a reconfiguration of your mind (Positive Illumination) and LARGE doses of joy.

It's very easy to get, if you believe either directly or indirectly in the divine.

Just say you want joy or you want a refill, believe me, there is a power within you, a dimension in you that'll ensure you bubble with loads and loads of it.

Pursue Joy, Happiness will come looking for you.

Have a nice day friends :)

Enough is Enough!

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 16:12:00 +0000

Can the issue of tribal glorification be put to FINAL rest now?

Must we pay our "perceived opponents" back in their own coin?
Does that make us any better?

Can the enlightened and sane among us foster the spirit of one accord despite our geographical differences?

How long do we intend to keep defending and offending ourselves while trying to correct an adjudged wrong?

Towing this path creates an "us and them" mentality, it drives an unseen, yet real wedge into our closest bonds, friendships, and marriages. It'd be fool hardy to underestimate the power of words and the gargantuan influence of social media in our world as we know it today.

What we should be concerned about, what we should promote and explore is our profound interconnectedness, our gifts, our uniqueness, our individuality, our humanity.

The Social media has been awash with tales of monarchs from the older generation whose very utterances are responsible for the upheavals and calumnies we experience and see, both offline and online.

Somewhere in Lagos, I know of an Igbo guy who was beaten black and blue for so much as proceeding to a polling booth in the recently concluded general elections.

In another part of Lagos, I know of some Yoruba folks who didn't so much as utter a word or flex muscles because they were surrounded by Igbos.

These are just the few I'm aware of, it could have been worse!

I am sorry I didn't take this stand early enough.

Nonetheless, I am appealing to the enlightened among us, to desist from the hate comments.
I am appealing that we stop seeing ourselves as superior to one another.
I am appealing - despite our different political ideologies and convictions; that our actions be borne from a motive of true patriotism, let all feelings and thoughts of segregation be cast out from among us....bearing in mind, that first and foremost, we are Nigerians.

It is on this note that I hereby heartily congratulate His Excellency, the incoming president of our nation, the soon to be CiC of Nigeria's AFs; Rtd General Muhammadu Buhari and his Vice.

God bless the incoming and outgoing administration.

We look forward to a positive and transformatively changed Nigeria.

It begins with You and I...

Sometimes, I Think Marriage Is So Overrated

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Thu, 26 Mar 2015 10:31:00 +0000

I penned this before my blogging days. Folks kept liking and sharing it, so I had to re-read. I am re-inspired. Hope you'll be too.

My hands feel somewhat weighty now that I've decided to put my thoughts to screen.

More oft we ladies (and guys) too only prepare and look forward to our wedding ceremonies.
Except those who are lucky to go through series of marriage counselling, one is never quite sure what to expect in that new phase of life called MARRIAGE and consequently, MOTHERHOOD.

I was in the hospital today and I saw women lying helplessly, with their wrappers faintly covering them up, those in the CSection looked worse............they couldn't pee (their we-we had to be attached to these bags) and they weren't allowed to bathe completely. Somehow, that pride of being a lady with all the finesse was gone, temporarily, I think...

I began soaking in how they cared for infants, how they weren't allowed to eat till they fart, some had gone 2-3 days with neither food nor water - eisshhhh.

Then my mind diverted to the men, my cousin's hubby and the other man.
At the sight of her hubby, my cuz glowed............

Then my mind delved deeper...........
Into random thoughts and questions:-

Just recently, (in real life) not without learning some invaluable life lessons albeit, I let go of a relationship I thought was emotionally abusive, I felt I deserved better, and someone who clearly had my interests at heart.
In this day and age where being married is like a golden title of sorts, if you've never been there, you will never understand what it means to let go of a guy who looks "eligible"

I wondered,
What if I were in my cousin's shoes, would I glow that way?
Or would I silently cuss him in my mind for making me go thru all that shiiiii?
Would I see him as - "worth the stress"?
Would he be there for me?
Would I be happy with him like she clearly was?
Would he pet me, hold me, kiss me, whisper sweet nothings in my ear?
Would he hold my hands?.......

What if I chose to manage that relationship just so I could join the so-called "elite few"?
What if I chose to bear it all, feeling all bound and caged, like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, just to be "married"?
What if I remained in it out of fear, of the unknown, of others' expectation?

God Forbid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thoughts I've put to screen above are not peculiar to me.
Many ladies go through such, much worse even, and it becomes really bad when they have no one to talk to nor a platform like this one, where they can talk about it, without fear of being stigmatized - fearing what everyone else would think of them.

Marriage is not child's play.
Marriage is different from wedding/honeymoon.
Marry your friend.
Marry that person whom you can bare all before.
Work on yourself.
Work at becoming a better person.
Work at becoming someone YOU can love.
Always pray for wisdom for the moment.
See yourself as the person of inestimable value and worth that you are.
Steer clear of sex - if you can (it'll help preserve your sanity in the relationship).
Its never too late to do the right thing.

Love Yourself
Love God
Love your family.
Be nice to everyone.
Be nice to guys (but know thyself)
Be nice to ladies (but apply wisdom)
Be nice to animals too! (roaches n rats).

Just Be!
Be.

Like me, you can pray in these lines too -

Dear Lord:
For the things I do not see, show me.
For the things I do not know, teach me.
For the life you've prepared for me, prepare me.

You have no idea how much I love to read your comments, are your thoughts in sync with mine? Or you have a different view? Let's hear from you!

Also...
Here's hoping that things get a lot easier and better for us even as #NaijaDecides
Your Vote, Your Power.

I Don't Believe In "Spiritual WarFare" - I Stopped!

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Sun, 22 Mar 2015 00:16:00 +0000

By the time you're reading this, I'd be in my house, or even better, an eatery or a filmhouse....celebrating myself!

It's my Birthday TODAY!!!!!

So sitting here this Friday afternoon, I thought of how best to share this special day with my friends online.

And then that train of thought, which is basically as a result of my Christian upbringing puts a fear of sorts in me....

More like,

"you want to announce your birthday to the world.....if someone that hates you now go and do juju nko?"

And I'm like,

"....ohhhh not again."

What is it with this fear of the unknown, what!?

We don't get married early enough (according to our respective timing) - village people are at work.

We don't land that dream job we've always wanted - somebody must have put juju on your chair in your former place of work.

Children aren't coming forth in our marriages - someone must have tied juju to one or more of our wedding presents.

Razor cut us while trimming our toe nails - village remote control at work!!!!

What of that headache that just hit us from no where? - somebody must have called your name from the water!!!!!

Haba!

My Nigerian people, I hail thee!

That fearful thought caused me to pick my memo again and continue where I left off on this writeup.

You see, there are ideologies, mindsets, thoughts and habits which rule us from within......we've allowed them to form the very hinge of our being and existence.

But today, just like Paul said to the people of old.....I say to us....

"We have to tear down those strongholds.....those thoughts, those ideas and false notions (presenting themselves as true) in our lives.....those things that exalt themselves above the knowledge of what the spirit of our creator has done for us.

We cast down those imaginations....and we stay in constant awareness of what He Did for and in ALL of Mankind!

For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world.

I don't care your religion, your sexual orientation, or your view of me right now....If you are a living being, then you are born of God, and if so, YOU are an over-comer.

You rule.....You are one with him.

The power that the enemy has over mankind today is that which we have freely bequeathed to him/it.

Which brings me to the main topic.

Spiritual Warfare, My Take.

Permit me to share with you briefly, part of my story.

I was raised in a fundamental Catholic/Christian home.....I was taught to be more aware of the presence of winches and wizards and demons than I was ever taught to be aware of God, the one in me, whose power supersedes them all.

So I went about my life, believing that at every turn, there were winches waiting to devour me or see me fall.

Matter of fact, I held their powers in high esteem, I kinda revered it...I tried not to do anything that would get me in any perceived bad person's bad books.....I underplayed, not just that, I was totally oblivious of the greatness that laid un-awakened within me.

Some twenty something years later, as my creator would have it.....I learned that he is LOVE. That there is no fear in love.....and there's no love in fear.

Simply put, knowing that I am of life, of light and of love......the moment I begin to feel shades of darkness, or fear.....the simple logic is that I have unwittingly strayed from my rightful place.....it means that I have let a foreign element encroach that beautiful territory of love and light within me.

What do I need to do?

Simply expunge it!

Speak to it to leave me be.....

Focus my mind on the love of God; that love without bound, breadth or length......an infinity I may never understand in this life. Almost in that instance, I find peace, the strength and courage to live fully again.

For perfect love casts out fear.

These days I find it almost impossible to pray fall down and die by fire, or to carry out most Christian rituals and dogmas..... perhaps, I'm losing my stand and favor with God, perhaps I'm losing my way, perhaps....... or, perhaps not!

I say this with a measure of confidence, my life has improved a whole lot more now.....compared to when I was the prayer warrior girl......am I advising folks to stop praying? NO.

But we sure need to work on our motives and perspectives in the place of prayer.

What is Prayer? (Prayer is simply talking to God-Within, no need to over complicate these things).

I came to an awareness, a deeply ingrained awareness that because my creator lives, I CAN FACE TOMORROW.

Am I denying the plausibility and possibility of extra terrestrial powers? Mbanu!!!

But more than ever, I have become aware of this light that shines in me that darkness always fails to comprehend. I see myself as one who is far seated above them principalities and powers. We're not on the same level biko.

These things are all about perspective.

Your perspective on how you perceive and deal with contrary forces matters a lot.

Does an atheist fight spiritual warfare?

Why do they seemingly have more peaceful lives than most theists?

Does that mean the spiritual no longer exists simply because they say it doesn't?

Does that make the person who lambastes prayers every night any less?

How about the person who looks at these things based on the finished work of Christ and troubles his head less?

Is he being misled?

Is he being spiritually lazy? (My Christian Friends Can Relate).

These are questions I might not be able to tackle whollistically.

But here's what I'm going to tell you.....

The next time you decide to go on whatever brand of spiritual warfare you practice;

I say this because, some of us believe in loooong hours of prayer before a headway can be made.

Others believe in shorter times.

Some don't even pray in known languages.

Others just speak a few words and they are filled with peace.....

Some don't even speak at all, what they do is connect with the life giving power within and then fight the battle in their minds first.....everything else that happens afterwards is just an offshoot, they realize that the mind is the battlefield.

PLEASE NOTE THESE

The fight of faith (Spiritual Warfare) is the fight that you are already a winner, not because you are very righteous or apt at praying.....but because of your creator's finished work. Walking in the awareness that the one who lives in you is waaay stronger and more than able to guide you through life's many unknowns and uncontrollable(s) will actually cause you to pray/fight less and actually live more in a posture and feeling of thanksgiving/thankfulness.
Don't fight FOR Victory, Fight from victory.
Don't fight FOR Faith, Fight from faith.
Your hope is not a hopeless one.

There will be those times when you feel weary and helpless....when you just don't know what to do. Stop for a moment and listen to what you feel within you.....perhaps you get the feeling that everything will be fine, that you will triumph, that while it may be so apparent some spiritual forces are against you, as a matter of fact.....the spiritual forces that are for you are much more --- Don't Ignore that feeling, run with it.

Place your focus on them and be filled with peace........the kind that surpasses understanding.

I wish You all, Long Life and All Round Prosperity.

Happy Birthday To Me.

What Does Friendship Mean To You?

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 13:13:00 +0000

Who/What is a Bond Friend?

According to wikipedia, a bond friend is a close friend or romantic partner whom you share emotions of trust and affection with.

There is an attachment of sorts between you two. When two males share this kind of attachment, it is called male bonding; among females, it is called female bonding.

There are friends and there are friendships.

An event that occurred has caused me to take a cursory look at what friendship means to me, what I - in my opinion, think it should mean to us.

I'll be writing against the backdrop of bond friendships.

#IfIWereYourFriend

Then you'd have the freedom to be you.

If I were your friend, then know that your weaknesses as an individual are before me.

Yet I'd love you.

I'd give my best to see you in a better position.

If you are my friend, I won't make you second guess yourself, either consciously or unconsciously. I won't make you feel "less".

I'll encourage you to be yourself and then strive to become the best version of yourself.

Even when I've found traits in you that are rather unbecoming and unlike you; instead of going all out and calling you names indirectly, labelling you and giving you the impression that I'm better than you, I'd rather I talked to your source about them, he created you, and I can rest assuredly leave the duty of making a better person out of you to him.

On my part, I'd be exemplary (without trying to exert/assert myself on you).

I'd do my best not to be judgemental of you.

If you were my friend.

I'll try not to abuse you emotionally.

Even if going by world standards, I am far better, in terms of wealth and riches, living standards, knowledge, wisdom, maturity et al --- I will not impose myself on you as someone you should look up to.

I will do my best to maintain an equilibrium of sorts.

If we are friends.

I will let you in on my worst fears; I'd encourage you to do same. I'd trust you. When thoughts that you could betray me seep in, I will do my best to always remain true to you, for I reckon that it could go both ways; a friend for life, or a lesson for life.

We would love HELL out of each other.

When I am angry or cross at you, I will do my best to speak courteously or postpone speaking for the time-being.

Perchance, if it were that I spoke carelessly to you, I would almost immediately realize it and probably lose myself in a bid to make it up to you.

If you are my friend.

I would wanna be that person you have this unfettered confidence in.

I'd lay my humanity before you (how I sometimes laugh in a socially awkward manner, how - depending on my clothing, I could pass off for a tomboy, how I could be quite loud voiced around those I love, my overly idealistic thoughts, my unbeliefs, beliefs, political affiliations, everything!)

Whether you've offended me or not, whether you've made my heart bleed or not.

I'd gather all the strength I need from within and I'd pronounce blessings on your life.

I'd speak his light, his love and his glory over you.

I'd ask them to stay with you, cover you and never leave you.

I will do my best to be better for you.

While I can never quite measure up, I will try to love you, as God loves you.

I'd want for you to accept me too.

Strengths or not, weaknesses or not, failures or not; successes or not.

This writ is meant to spur everyone who reads it to become a true friend, in the ways they can, to as many as they can today.

It is a call to active action.

If God, or the universe has directed/redirected certain persons or groups of persons into your life, then know that surely, you have been imbued with a capacity to love them, either from a distance or in close proximity (may wisdom guide you on which it should be).

Ultimately, our actions don't define us, our soul does. Let your soul always remain in a posture of love.....even when everything else negates and contradicts. Let your life be defined against this backdrop; Love (in its truest sense).

If you were my bond friend/friend --- if you were another's bond friend/friend, what would it mean to you?

What would you do for me/them?

You can answer that^^^ here, or better still........in your private place of meditation.

Peace and thanks for coming around.

Smiles.

We Cannot Be Defined By Our Mistakes

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Tue, 03 Mar 2015 16:23:00 +0000

#Culled@BattleCreek

We Cannot Be Defined By Our Mistakes.

We Cannot Let One Thing, No Matter How Horrible Overpower Everything Else That We Do In Our Lives.

The Only Way To Do That Is To Make Sure That Everything Else Overpowers That Mistake.

We Have That Chance Now.

As Long As We're Alive, We Have That Chance.

Dear Readers...For Your Attention

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 09:55:00 +0000

We value your presence here.
We appreciate the fact that you take out time to read our musings and opinions on issues.
We do not make light of that.

We thought it wise to bring to this to your hallowed attention.

mizmycolimusings.blogspot.com has ported to a new and catchier name.
What's more!?
We have our own domain!

www.mizmusings.com or mizmusings.com

^^^ They are the same.

All former entries and records remain valid.
The summary of the words above is that www.mizmycolimusings.blogspot.com now redirects to www.mizmusings.com

Thank you for your time.
Please help us expand our online reach and presence by liking our Facebook Page - following us on twitter @MzMusings and finally subscribing to our blog feed Here

Imaginations (Putting My Weirdest Thoughts On Screen)

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 09:51:00 +0000

I sometimes imagine a world without labels, a world without guile.
Where everyone's free to be who they are without fear of judgement and isolation.

I imagine a world where everyone is accepted, where for example, I can freely decide to marry a muslim, and not feel any fear whatsoever or have to contend with what society or family thinks.

I imagine a society where love and loving isn't stereotypical and defined.
If this, then that.

I imagine a world where true freedom and sincerity of heart prevails.

I wish I could deprogram myself of all the beliefs and ideologies that were stuffed into me while growing up.
Some of of them are demons I have to fight daily, and it ain't funny, trust me.

I want to return back to innocence.
To that world where there is neither judgement nor condemnation.
Where everyone is free to be themselves around me.
Where "Tufiakwa" rarely prevails.

I desire a classless society.
I wish to pull down strongholds of authority.

I want to always be connected to that higher dimension within.
When I'm in that dimension......
There's no good or bad, no segregation, no slaves, no lows.
No sacred, No secular.

There's only light, and there's only love.

Even where evil prevails, even where oppression reigns supreme, this light comes in and sucks it all out.

This, to me, is how life ought to be.

Weird Idealistic Way Of Thinking, I guess.

But then again, impossible is nothing.
Even as core realists, in one way or another, we all strive for an ideal (the ideal).

It matters not how long it takes.
Layer by layer
Thought upon thoughts
Precept upon precept
A little here and there;

We Will Get There.

What's yours?
I'd like to read about your really weird thoughts too.
It doesn't have to look anything like mine.

I'm Undergoing Inner Anarchy

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:55:00 +0000

A state of being I'm yet to gain a firm grasp on.
One that shitty scares me to delve deeper into because I'll likely lose my preciously held beliefs, ideologies and mindsets (but I'mma continue anyway).

Y'see, my beliefs have evolved to an extent where Love is all that matters.

I'm talking about the kind that is capable of changing our world for good!
That's the kind of love I want to apprehend.

When you're at this stage in my journey, you lose all interest for biblical arguments. You're more interested in the truths that the life giving spirit in you sheds light on through the bible and ANY other means.
You are no longer fixated on God and heaven as Sky entities. You become attuned to God and Heaven inside you - your only hope of glory.

You're not scared of the mob and those who will come against you, because you know that Jesus was grossly misunderstood too. You lose interest in whether or not Jesus was dead and buried, or whether he died and rose again.

What you're more concerned about is the spirit of Jesus in you, yes, the same one that filled him during his earthly sojourn.
The same spirit that all of creation earnestly awaits its full manifestation, in YOU.

You speak, you think and you relate with people from this dimension, this realm, that is laced with power and authority.
You no longer blame or keep hoping on a sky supernatural being to wave a magic wand and save the world.

You realize that the supernatural has been in you all along. That Christ replicated himself in all of creation.
That you're a fore-runner. That as he is, so are you.

Then you begin to wonder why you aren't that way, you find that you're anything but christ!
The reason's not far-fetched.
The ideologies and mindsets that rule us from within, beliefs and systems, dogmas and authority figures have kept us in a tomb of sorts.
We need to get rid of these obstructions, layer by layer.

Jesus did not establish the christian religion. What he came to do during his sojourn in this world is point us to the life giving spirit within.

That spirit has no religious/unreligious favourites.
We need to pull down certain strongholds, certain thoughts and ideas that rule us from within. If we must walk in the light of Jesus, if we will ever perform greater works than he did......we need to have a retrace of steps.

Let's turn to that which is real within us, our deep feelings.
Enough of looking up to pastors and authority figures.
We need inner anarchy to do this.
We have to rebel against the status quo.
We ought to become like children --- trusting, but only this time - trusting that which is real within us.
Enough of skewing the message of Jesus to suit our projections and beliefs.
He brought the Kingdom of heaven to earth. Why wait for a future one we're not so sure will ever come about when there's a whole new world waiting to be birthed inside us?

Inner anarchy.
We need anarchy. The inner kind. Get uncomfortable and rebel against those forces and mindsets that has kept us from operating in our best potentials, that keeps us in a rut of sorts. Going round and round in circles.

Like JP asserted:-
"Shallow anarchistic thinking tends to equate the problems in our world with the rulers, authorities and ruling classes themselves. In other words, they see the people or groups of people as the obstacle or enemy. The root problem is deeper than this and lies in the false beliefs, mindsets, narratives and ideologies that rule people from within.
That’s the real obstacle and enemy – not the people or groups themselves, but those beliefs, mindsets, narratives and ideologies. Even anarchy can become an ideology and function in the same way if it is originating from that same poisoned well."

These quotes by some legendary anarchists cuts it better.

“Anarchism stands for the liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion and liberation of the human body from the coercion of property; liberation from the shackles and restraint of government. It stands for a social order based on the free grouping of individuals.”― Emma Goldman

“We anarchists do not want to emancipate the people; we want the people to emancipate themselves.”― Errico Malatesta

What is my point in all of this?
Nothing seems to be working anymore.
Our world keeps depleting.
We have over 40,000 Christian denominations worldwide, we repeat bible verses daily, we pray everyday, cast and bind demons, open even more denominations, create even more complicated belief systems, coerce people to believe in "God" by dangling the fieriness of "hell" before them, we sing, we shout, we do all these things --- yet nothing seems to be working really, nothing!
It's all become a routine. We're hopeful for a future we know looks very bleak, one that may never come, despite our technological advancements as a race.

But I'm hopeful, I'm hopeful because I believe in the power of love to transform our world.
I believe that Love is resident in everyone.
We cannot access this dimension of love, this world inside of us by looking up to authority figures, by idolizing a few and thinking of them as those whom the onus lies on to save our dear country, and possibly our lives.
We need to take people down from pedestals, we need to start turning towards our guts, to that which is real inside us, our deep feelings. It matters not whether you think, speak or write eloquently, it doesn't matter whether it makes as much sense to you, as long as you feel it from that realm, say it out!!! speak. Your words and your thoughts, ultimately, are capable of changing our world, of birthing a new age. The feelings I'm on about here are beyond emotions, emotions are fleeting.

You know you are speaking or thinking from your deep feelings when;

There's this weight and solidity to them, one that is different from what you'd ordinarily feel or think. It is usually triggered through music, acts of love and compassion; anything that causes us to relate to ourselves from a spiritual dimension.

There's this power and authority and engulfing sensation that you experience when you speak, think or write from your deep feelings.

You see things as bigger than you, you just know that they overshadow/exceed your personal desires. It makes you wanna see the whole world instead of yourself, bearing witness to our profound interconnectedness.

There's a feeling of certainty attached to speaking, writing or thinking from your deep feelings. You just know that by speaking out from your deep feelings, you are empowering reality (a positive one) into being.

I'm hoping this resonates with someone out there. I'm well aware that this is a tad alien to us. It is for me too, but I consider it a road worth travelling. I just desire a world that works! One that is fully attuned to us and our true nature.

However, I must admit I haven't quite apprehended this subject/state of being, but it looks promising.

What are your thoughts on my position, don't stay silent. Let's interact.

Before You Give UP Completely - Read.

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 20:39:00 +0000

Perhaps you've been feeling alone lately.
Somewhat scared.
You feel trapped in a vicious cycle of failures ranging from finance to relationships, self-improvement, among other issues.
You have people around you, yet it feels like no one's around.
You wanna reach out to friends and family, but then it feels like you're enjoying the solititude, or maybe you don't wanna be seen as a disturbance.

What's been bogging your mind lately?
What's that nagging thought that has refused to give way?

Do you suddenly feel detached from your reality, from self and the world around you? Do you get the vibes that all is not well somewhere, somehow?

Perhaps you lost a friend, some money/assets or you're heartbroken.
Looks like you can't keep up with that job anymore.
A future that once seemed so bright now looks bleak and blurry.

You find yourself wondering where next to go, if things'll ever get better.

You hope that with the dawn of a new day, things will lighten up...but you seem to be sinking more daily, depleting.

Everyone around you doesn't really see.
They really don't know what you go through on the inside.
You have to keep up with the smiles and the buoy.
You have to keep being that way because they draw their energy from you, you're their pillar, a source of strength.

But inside, you feel like you're wasting away, like you're fading.

You want to cry, but you can't. You want to talk to someone....like really let them in on your fears, your day and night mares. But you're afraid they'd snitch and backbite and maybe laugh you silly.

And then you look at the world around you, and you find that you have only yourself.
You have only you to talk to, only you to encourage you, only you to really stand by you.

Then in exasperation, you think out loud "WHO WILL RESCUE ME FROM THIS PSYCHO-EMOTIONAL RUT!!!!!."

"This is not me!!!" You exclaim.
How do I get my mind to feel really alive again? How do I get my streams of joy and happiness flowing steadily again?

Close your eyes now.
Look within. Don't look up, look within.
See that light? See it?
There is that light in you that all the darkness in the world combined CANNOT put out.
And it shines, it glows.
It changes the world around you, for the better.
You're never really alone.
Command your heart to be at peace.

You are light. You are hope. You are power.

What you see now, those negative feelings and thoughts. They're not a true representation of your reality.

You can hold me by my word.
You will laugh heartily again.
You will love wholly again.
The good you seek can and WILL come to you.
You are prosperous.
Yes, you are greatness to infinity.

No matter what you face, no matter what you feel....do not let your mind lose sight of this; That you are a winner. That you are a conqueror. That you have all it takes to create and live the life you've always desired.

The life giving spirit in you will be your guide.

Hold my hand and let's keep on with this journey of life.
Let's look each other in the face and smile :).

Things can only get better from here on.

Let that be our watchword!!!

02/02/15

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 07:49:00 +0000

Let's make this declarations together. Say it like you mean it.

I call Today and the week ahead Blessed.

We are rooted in Life and Love.

We re not easily provoked.

We see good in all men.

We are favoured to succeed.

We are motivated!

The Life giving spirit in us spurs us on.

Things can only get better from here on.

Were You A Born Cusp? Find Out Here.

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 30 Jan 2015 12:37:00 +0000

This is basically about zodiac signs and while I'm not a huge fan, I'm quite fascinated at how well it's able to interpret individuals' personality traits, which I've been able to link to my favorites; MBTI typology and The Enneagram.
I'm a personality freak. I mean, I just love learning about how individuals behave and why they're the way they are. Because I'm a people person, it helps me relate better with them.

About Cusps
My good friend got me quite fascinated about zodiac signs and how you can tell people's character just by knowing their date of birth.

But I found in my case, that none truly applied to me.
I seemed to be a mix of all zodiac signs, so I thought of my personality traits and character as divergent.

Google has always been my friend and during one of my deep surfing days I came across the word "Cusp Signs"

It is a description for those who consolidate the energies of two zodiac signs by reason of their date and time of birth.

If your date of birth fall on or between these dates, then like me, you're a cusp! :)
See table below for more information.

I got most of my information from www.tarot.com
Which of the cusps do you belong to?
Do you have any enquiries?
Please feel free to let me know your opinion on cusps, zodiac signs, among other things, by leaving your comments below.

S/N	Date of Birth	Cusp Description	Other Remarks
1.	Jan 16 – Jan 22	Capricorn – Aquarius The Cusp of Mystery and Imagination	Never A Dull Moment With These Lot.
2.	Feb 15 – Feb 21	Aquarius – Pisces The Cusp of Sensitivity	Compassionate and Imaginative.
3.	Mar 17 – Mar 24	Pisces – Aries The Cusp of Rebirth	Dreamy Imaginative Go-Getters.
4.	Apr 16 – Apr 22	Aries – Taurus The Cusp of Power	Natural Born Leaders, A Force To Be Reckoned With.
5.	May 17 – May 23	Taurus – Gemini The Cusp of Energy	Strong and Mentally Agile, Clever and Communicative.
6.	Jun 17 – Jun 24	Gemini – Cancer The Cusp of Magic	Light Hearted and Fun, Caring and Devoted.
7.	Jul 19 – Jul 25	Cancer – Leo The Cusp of Oscillation	Cheerful, Creative Passionate and Loving.
8.	Aug 19 – Aug 25	Le0 – Virgo The Cusp of Exposure	Hard Working, Honest, Success-Driven and Positive.
9.	Sep 19- Sep 25	Virgo – Librans The Cusp of Beauty	Attractive, Intellectual, Artistic and Sensuous.
10.	Oct 19 – Oct 25	Libra – Scorpio The Cusp of Drama & Criticism	Powerful, Competent, Sexy and Charming.
11.	Nov 18 – Nov 24	Scorpio – Sagittarius The Cusp of Revolution	Energetic, Adventurous, Generous and Humorous.
12.	Dec 18 – Dec 24	Sagittarius – Capricorn The Cusp of Prophecy	Responsible, Fair, Loyal, Outgoing and Successful.

Today's the 30th Day of January

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 30 Jan 2015 08:45:00 +0000

And as such
We Declare

Every Perceived Hardness and Difficulty Gives Way For Us To Prevail.

Our Lives Are Filled With Liveliness And Love.

Our Lights Shine Ever So Glorious.

The Future We Hope For Is Ours For The Taking.

Our Loved Ones Are Protected.

They Do Not Fall Into Harm Of Any Kind.

Our Benefactors Are Blessed! Beyond Measure!

All We See; All We Know Today IS Wholeness, Magnificence and Glory; Amazing Blazing Glory.

GoodMorning :)

This Twenty-Eight Day of January 2015

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Wed, 28 Jan 2015 14:30:00 +0000

We Declare............

I am Light
I am Whole
I am Complete

Today, my joy is boundless.

There is nothing that is impossible unto me.

The world around me is Blessed.
No curse prevails

All I see, All I know is light, love, glory and magnificence.

We do not lack perspective in any way.

We have all the wisdom that we need.

Our light shines, it glows.

We are productive!

We are Fruitful.

I call this day Blessed!
I call today Glorious!

His Light and Love reigns in our hearts Forever and Ever.

Yes!

An Addendum

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 15:42:00 +0000

This is an Addendum to my Latest Proposal on Daily Confessions

Every new day, by the creator's grace, I'll come here to speak from my deep feelings concerning the day.
We're encouraged to do the same too.
I'll create a post for each day and then we comment for as long as we want, as much as we want - till the end of that day.

The beauty of it is that, we get to see our declarations, and we agree with one another.

For example;

Anonymous 1 declares:- As I go out today, I am blessed, everybody around me radiates God's glory.
I don't care what my enemies have done, or what they are doing. My eyes is focused on my Creator. I declare his light and glory over them. I have power today. I can do all things through the one who strengthens me.

Anonymous 2 decrees:- Today is a day of Joy, I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Anonymous 3 confesses:- Our world as we know it is immersed in love and light. There is peace, there is laughter, there is abundance!

Anonymous 4 speaks:- My world is beautiful, I am beautiful, I am whole, I am pure, I am magnificent! I radiate sheer, unadulterated beauty!

|
|
|
|

Let's say I'm Anonymous 5, seeing these writeups above will inspire me to drop mine. Sometimes, I'll be moved to agree with any of the contributors, perhaps I'm touched by their circumstance - for example Anonymous 4. Even if I'm not inspired to say anything for myself at that moment, I could just mention her thus:-

@Anonymous4 - Yes, I agree with you, you are beautiful, your heart is beautiful, whatever thought or imagination that is giving you the impression that you're not is cast down now. Your creator thinks only good thoughts towards you. All is well with you.

^^^ See what I just did up there?
I just spoke good things into my life too.
In seeking to better the life of another via my words, I am unwittingly bettering mine.
I went beyond my depression and sadness and decreed good things for another person.

More oft than not, when we engage in practices like this, we find that we're in a better place.

Besides, it's Okay to talk to yourself too! Be your best encourager.

This idea just occurred to me today and I think it can be modified to suit just about anyone, irrespective of your belief or unbelief, one thing we can agree on is that we are one and that Love ought to reign supreme.

I want to plead that you encourage me by coming around often and drop inspired comments from your deep feelings as I explained in the post penultimate this one.

I really don't know how this would pan out, but I'm convinced it's an effort worth giving a shot.
More than its being a service to ourselves, I think of it as a greater service to humanity.

Selah.

Daily Confessions

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 14:28:00 +0000

Welcome!

This is another facet of our Oases, one that I'm hoping would remain with us for a long while.

Like the page title goes, this is an arena for daily confessions.

I'll share my success story in this regard, but before I do, permit me to bring to your hallowed attention that this is not a religious thing per se. In my opinion, it has it's roots more in spirituality and is a platform where you're able to renew your mind and recreate your world via your words.

I believe so much in the efficacy of the tongue, the mind and positive, personal confessions.

Just yesterday, I woke on a very bad side of my bed. I had awful dreams and it felt like even before I stood up from the bed, I was doomed to a very bad day!

But I knew better, so I began to confess positive words, I began to say words in these lines;

It matters not what has been done against me and against my day. What matters is what Jesus has done for me and my days. It matters not, the amount of elements that have been programmed to work against me today; it matters not the powers that be against me; what matters is that the power above them all is for me, and as such I decree and I declare that today is good, today is lovely, the elements work in my favour, I am blessed! Those connected to me are too!

Now, you'd think that those words I said fixed everything right?
No, not right away, I still had this nagging feeling sitting there in my mind, I wasn't at peace!
So I began to call on the life giving spirit within me for help, I knew I just needed the right words to make that stormy, naggy feeling in my mind go away, yes, I cherish my inner peace like that.

And then, the moment comes.
Sitting right there at the edge of my bed, the words formed in my mind and I spoke them out.
I honestly can't remember exactly what I said, but I spoke with so much authority and I choose to believe those were inspired words.

I felt peace, I just knew I was ready to begin my day.

And yes, yesterday was one of the best days of my life since the year began, in all ramifications I mean --- in all ramifications. (that's the much I can divulge for now).

I have to make it clear though that this is not a magic wand of sorts, this is not a "fix it for all situations" approach.

But I have seen, severally and I still do see and experience the power of positive confessions - repeated positive confessions. No wonder someone quipped that "repetition is the mother of necessity."

^^^ "So Adannaya, what exactly are you proposing?"

Let's make it a habit to come here every day, (more like keeping a journal) especially before we begin our day and DURING our day to drop words, INSPIRED WORDS, words that come from our own deep feelings, from our guts, that which we know to be real and true. We have the advantage of anonymity on here.

^^^ "Errrrr, which one is deep feeling again, is it not emotions?"

No, these feelings I'm talking of go beyond your emotions, okay these guidelines might help you understand better:-

1. Deep feelings come from a spot, a different spot within us that is more than our emotions which are usually fleeting depending on time of day. You know you are speaking or thinking from your deep feelings when there's this weight and solidity to them, one that is different from what you'd ordinarily feel or think.

2. There's this power and authority and engulfing sensation that you experience when you speak, think or write from your deep feelings.

3. The deep feelings I'm on about here is the kind that makes you see things as bigger than you and would normally overshadow/exceed your personal desires. It makes you wanna see the whole world instead of yourself, bearing witness to our profound interconnectedness.

4. There's a feeling of certainty attached to speaking, writing or thinking from your deep feelings. You just know that by speaking out from your deep feelings, you are empowering reality (a positive one) into being.

You don't have to be the eloquent and vocabs filled person to do this.
As a matter of fact, you are unique, everyone is, there is something you have to offer this world that even Obama cannot give. You are not here by accident.

Now, it's okay to NOT BELIEVE these in totality about yourself, but that's what this exercise is all about.

Lemmee share another story at this point.
Many of us know me as the MIZMYCOLI whose religion is about Life and Love.
What many of us do not know is that as at when I adopted that mantra, I was full of self pity, I never really loved myself and consequentially, I never expected to be loved by anyone --- yes, I desired love, but in my heart of hearts, I never quite believed it was possible for anyone to love me wholly.

(Shocking! innit?)

Well, look where I am now, see the woman I'm becoming.

I breathe Love, I speak Love, I eat Love.

I enjoy Loving people.

I'm no longer the girl who's skeptical of everything Love and kindness and compassion and goodwill.

I'm living again!

All these started because of that confession (Life and Love is my religion), I internalized it, I made it a part of me, even when it felt like I was lying to myself, even when it clearly seemed an impossible feat, I continued.

What's your story?

Are you are business man, a writer, a worker, an alcoholic, sex addict, masochist, whoever?

What are those changes you've been looking forward to make in your life?

Me, you, all of us, we can start now.

I do not claim to have apprehended in these matters.

But this is a leap of faith, one that I'm willing to go on with you - in the certainty that his sovereign hand will be our guide.

Are you on board?

MizMyColiMusings'll Be Back.

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 19 Jan 2015 14:20:00 +0000

Thanks for checking in on us.

We totally appreciate your coming around.

We'd be unavoidably absent for a huge part of this week.

Life Happens.

Penultimate weekend, we'll be back; With a bang!!!!!!!!

Hopefully.

In The Meantime, Let's Chew On This Nugget From Albert Einstein.

Please stay safe.....it can only get better from here on.

And.......Here's a Video You Might Like

Ciao.

Ladies, Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 05 Jan 2015 16:28:00 +0000

Welcome!

Welcome, to our year of light, of continuity, of amazing blazing glory.

Things can only get better.

Have you ever been in that position where it felt like you have found that one person who means much more than a lot to you?

Have you ever thought of yourself as "in love?"

Like there couldn't possibly be anywhere you'd wanna be in the universe except in the arms of your loved one?

He spoils you silly with love and you feel like, before you, after you, beyond you, nothing else matters, just you.

And then all of a sudden --- you find yourself soliloquizing in the lines below;

How does a person love up on another so much only for them to give the cold treatment just after you decide to love them back, perhaps even more than they showed you?

How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy, emotionally distant and unloveable?

Somehow, you know the individual doesn't despise you, but as is obvious, their action(s) doesn't quite measure up.

Now, there are two things involved here:-

Either that person has become plain disinterested in you and is actually giving you the green light to move on with your life

Maybe, just maybe, it's about time you pursued them too; maybe it's time you loved up on them - more.

So, I want to make a proposal. As we all know --- life is a teacher, and like Jim Palmer would say - "there's twice as much we don't know than we do know."

Granted, I'm yet to get past my "confuzzlement" as to why the male folk especially, lead ladies on to a certain extent only to turn them into bundles of insecurity, all the same:-

My proposal goes thus:-

- I'd like for us to re-adjust our definition of love.

- Let's operate from this base of understanding that beyond the frills and thrills, underlying and over the top excitement; Love Is A Decision.

- It's about time we turned on our humanity towards our partner.

Loving and our emotions are something else, simply out of this world. I've heard people reduce love to chemical equations and mere release of hormones into the human brain and all I literally do is just shake my head. Some, have even tried to calculate love by overly using their brain, in a bid to avoid being friendzoned or outrightly fooled.

In my sojourn though, I've found that you'll fall for whom you'll fall for and you'll get bored if you'll get bored.

We could do without overly "mathematicalizing" love.

Ultimately, let's get proactive.
When the boredom comes; oh trust me, it will.

When the attraction becomes less; When there's absolutely little or nothing to talk about;
What measures do we take to spark it all up again?

This would normally require us going beyond ourselves, and ego, maybe. But with the right person, it's worth it, I think.

If he doesn't call you, as usual, call him.

If he fails to say I love you and those sweet nothings you like to hear, say it to him.

If he doesn't ask about your loved ones, your family, your career and your circumstances ask about his.

If he doesn't buy you those thoughtful gifts anymore like he used to, please go out of your way and get some for him.

If you really love that guy, if you think he is worth it, despite his below-par performance, love up on your man, love him, not because you are desperate - no, no; not as a means to manipulate him into doing your biddings mbanu (no), let your actions towards him flow from a pure heart, as much as you can, give your best into the relationship without expecting so much.

"But Adannaya, what if he doesn't reciprocate, what if I genuinely get tired and I just need to break it off with him"

^^^ Always follow your heart, be sure you're being guided by your inner light --- by that feeling that's real, deep inside you.

Remember, patience is a virtue and there's really nothing like certainty in a relationship that is built to last.

Perhaps, one of the greatest lessons we can learn during this season, as we usher in the new year is that giving is the best form of receiving.

To the guys reading this, a friend shared this text with me as shared by Kanye West via his twitter account --- you might be inspired :)

“Sometimes, what a girl does is push the guy away to see if he’ll still come back to her to test how much he actually wants to be with her. So be the guy who will call her back when she hangs up on you out of frustration. Be the guy who will chase after her when she walks away from you out of anger. Be the guy who will comfort her when she’s too stubborn to tell you what’s wrong. Be the guy to reassure her when she’s jealous that the other girl means nothing. Be the guy who will fight for her when she’s too afraid to stay in the relationship. Be the guy who will prove to her that she’s able to trust someone again. When she feels certain you’re the one, that’s when she’ll stop pushing.”

To my exceptional readers;

If you're inspired by this write-up, please share with your friends, and as always, your comments are most welcome :)

From All Of Us @ Oases

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 08:00:00 +0000

Happy - Super - Duper - Splufik - Fantastic -

New Year!!!!!!!

We'd be taking a short break from writing those articles that you love to read.
But we'll be back with a Bang!

In the meantime, please do us a favour by recommending us on G+ and then sharing those posts which inspire you on facebook and twitter.

Thank you for your support.

I'm online at the moment.

Please drop your wishes, comments and any other form of goodwill.
Let's celebrate one - another.

We're totally worth it!

Why So Afraid

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:25:00 +0000

Our hearts, our lives --- our world.

Whatever constitutes the above mentioned, we are very protective of them.

We will do whatever it takes to keep them intact.

We will employ Love and Fear in all it's forms to keep things from falling apart.

So, what if we need things to fall apart for a bit in our lives --- what if "falling apart" is a good thing, a path to the ultimate stabilization everyone desires.

We are dependent beings, we are emotional beings --- we are social beings.
All the philosophy, intelligence, "geniusness" and worth (fuls) nots, a human could possibly possess cannot change those.
It's innate in everyone, people just have different avenues of showcasing theirs.

As 2014 draws to a close, and we herald 2015 --- like most of us, I've taken time to reflect on the year, highs, lows, "highlows" and "lowhighs".

One thing I've being able to do for myself this year is Love. Yes, Love --- the environment, people, things, animals, inter alia. God! I Love(d). I became literally transformed this year.

However, like most of us, a part of me --- the romantic side, especially during the closing quarter of the year has somehow given up on love. I found that I was just satisfied with having friends, people who cared and I could care for. It took a sermon from my very good friend to realize that I ought to consider giving Love a chance.
That kinda jolted me back to reality.
As a certified true African, even though people have bastardised the issue, coming up with very unfair and demeaning theories, I still believe a woman's place is in her husband's home, however, while she waits for the universe to align things for her in that regard, the best she can do is keep learning and living.

Except you don't have exigent guardians, except you are the best loner there is, no matter how much you try to avoid discussions of romantic attachments and marriage possibilty, it'll find ways to rear it's ugly head (maybe) like a hydra and hunt you.

Somehow, unconsciously, we have convinced ourselves that it's okay not to live life fully in that regard. We would do anything to maintain control of our senses. Even when we find that one person who makes us wanna loose a bit of our comportment and "dignity" --- we bail on them, we bail on ourselves. We consider Love hard work. I mean!!! Who wants to go through the mind games, reverse psychologies and having to lose oneself all in the name of loving a person. We shy away from the reality before us by convincing ourselves that we're just being careful not to undergo hurts again, and maybe again.

Case In Point --- This is fictional btw.

I find that I like someone, I've come to the conclusion he is cool. He likes me too! Maybe a lot more than I do.
Well, guess what?

We're so careful, we don't wanna fall for the "wrong person", no, not again.
We employ mind games, albeit subconsciously, we engage each other in a "the more you look, the less you see" kinda game.

We think up all possible and impossible reasons in the universe why we may not be right for each other, even when our heart clearly thinks we are. We think of the scores of guys and ladies we might be liking at the same time like we do eachother. We practically kill a love so innocent and budding with our bare hands, because we can't stand going through the pains --- again. We have somehow developed a tradition of getting out, even before going in. (Sigh).

As I sit on this platform, I've come up with autogenous questions, ones which I'd like for us to ask one - another:-

Why So Afraid To Love?

How Long Do We Intend To Remain This Way?

What Miracle Of Sorts Are We Expecting To Witness Before Giving Love, True Love A Chance To Blossom?

Why Are We Allowing Our Hurts Turn Us Into Eternal Emotional Cowards.

How We Have In One Accord Turned One Of Life's Most Simplest Vocations To The Hardest, If Not Impossible.

Why Have We Become So Wrapped Up In Self.

Where exactly Do We Draw The Line From Being Careful To Sheer Self Absorbedness?

In a popular pidgin English parlance --- "Shey na like this we go dey dey?"

As the year comes to a close, as we look forward to a new one, in addition to our hopes and dreams for the new year --- permit me to permit myself and everyone that this writ concerns to Actually Look Forward To Love Too. Love in ALL Ramifications.

Now that's not so hard, or is it?

Written Excerpts From Jim Carrey's Speech At Maharishi University Of Management, Iowa.

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Tue, 23 Dec 2014 12:01:00 +0000

Culled from Jim Carrey's Speech

"I cannot be contained because I am the Container.

There's a big difference between a dog that's going to eat you in your mind and an actual Dog that's going to eat you.

Fear is going to be a player in your life, but we get to decide how much.

The decisions we make are based on love or fear.

What does the world need that your talent can provide.

The effect you have on others is the best currency there is.

Who'd I be without my fame?

Who'd I be if I said things people didn't wanna hear?

Who'd I be if I didn't fit into people's expectation of me?

Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world.
Risk being seen from all of your glory.
Ultimately, we are not the avatars we create, we're not the pictures on the film stock. We are the light that shines through, all else is just smoking mirror, distracting but not truly compelling.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body, my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul. :o

Our eyes are not just viewers, they're also projectors.

How tricky is this ego, that it'd tempt us with something we already possess!

Let the universe know what you want, work towards it, and let go of how it comes to pass!

our job is not to figure out how its gonna happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the door opens in real life, just walk thru it.

Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you.

Why not take a chance on faith.

Hope is a beggar, hope walks thru' the fire, faith leaps over it.

Choose Love and don't ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.

Ladies And Gentlemen --- Which Way?

noreply@blogger.com (MizMyColi) — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 16:36:00 +0000

So I'm thinking.......

Is it a bad thing to desire affection?

Does it make the giver and receiver foolish to some extent?

Does it make them less, or loosen their dignity and rep in the real sense of it?

Does it connote insecurity when you just desire some lovin' up from the one you love?

Is it plain foolishness when we:-

Sometimes, want to be told how beautiful we are or how smart and intelligent we simply are?

Other times, especially when we're bored, we want to be around that special person who at one time or another, or even currently, makes us feel special?

And then, other times too, we want to be showered with thoughtful gifts and just watch those we love do stuffs for us?

I believe everyone's felt this way, okay, maybe --- almost everyone.

There was a trend I read of somewhere, where the male folk specifically were advised to wield "true control" over their woman.

Here's an excerpt:-

In fact most of the accomplished true control guys have barricaded their hearts a long time ago. They show affection strategically and when a chick leasts expects it. They are not always complete bast@rds, they will send flowers and call a babe to check on how she is doing but they do it strategically and sparingly. Too much of ice cream and chocolate is not good. Too much visiting of woman is not good. Calling her more than she calls you is an equally silly idea. If she calls twice call once. What bothers other guys does not bother men of true control. Even if they love a chick they will never show it more than the chick shows it. They say I love you three times a year. This sort of guy might love a chick but still screw one or two around to ensure that he remains in control of his senses.

My reaction(s) was in the lines of:-

Granted, the oiginal post makes sense to a certain category of folks......All I can say, as far as I am concerned is that all the OP has written is Beautiful Nonsense!.I will resist any guy who seeks to control or manipulate me. I will not even have anything to do with someone who has such a warped view of ladies.

Someone who has turned romantic relationships to a "win at all costs" fiesta. Who encourages manipulation, emotional abuse and keeping side chicks just to maintain control and perspective.Dude, you're the fakest Niggah ever liveth.No Oofens. (sic)................................ it is good for those women and men who live, breath and eat mind games and manipulative tendencies (certain category of folks). But as far as I'm concerned, as long as I uphold the values of openness, sincerity and trust in any relationship that matters to me, in my opinion, this post is byootifuu Nansense. (sic)

I honestly don't blame the guy who wrote the first text in quotes, if you've never been burned by members of the opposite sex, you would not understand.

Trust me, I felt his pain and I quite understand that those words were penned down as a defense mechanism of sorts against the "menace" called women.

But I was worried. I developed fears.

The write up looked so good, anyone could hold on to it for dear life, the moment they get into a relationship, whether or not they've been butt hurt initially. Those in a relationship who had an above average level of satisfaction would wanna try their hands on the new and enticing suggestion. Those who had very bad relationships would think they've finally found n all round elixir to their teeming problems. Ultimately, this would help them maintain a certain level of control, of power. That's one character trait virtually everyone possesses; the need to stay in control......in power --- be it directly, indirectly, consciously, subconsciously and otherwise.

I feared for those category of ladies who, despite their seeming pads and tons of disappointments, have chosen to remain true to themselves, who despite being burned and butt hurt, would stop at nothing in terms of bettering selves and looking forward to their next attempt at loving.

Perhaps it didn't occur to the guys that perceptive and or shrewd ladies who saw that write up might as well decide to step up their game, making the rats race an equal playing field of sorts ---

I have to stop here and state this.

LOVE, I mean true love (An ideal which normal people ascribe to or strive to attain, be it in filial or romantic relationships) is not for the feeble minded.

I think of people who subscribe to the first quoted text above as selfish and self-centred. I honestly don't blame them though, some babes ain't loyal.

But then, if we all, or majority of us towed that path - what exactly would be left of our humanity, our values? What kind of foundation are we building on? What are we passing down to our generation. I'm concerned, believe me, I am.

Please let's share. What's your opinion.